# 礼貌的称呼不用性别



## dojibear

In English, if I only know the surname, I must say "Mr. Gao" or "Ms. Gao". 
Is it the same in Mandarin? 高先生 or 高小姐?


----------



## gonecar

dojibear said:


> In English, if I only know the surname, I must say "Mr. Gao" or "Ms. Gao".
> Is it the same in Mandarin? 高先生 or 高小姐?



I would say 高先生 or 高小姐/高女士 in a more formal occasion; if I have got the person's surname and we are in a less formal situation, I would address him/her 小高，of course if the person looks younger than me.

And you can address anyone by Surname+ their profession, like 高老师/高医生.


----------



## ovaltine888

Sometimes we use surname+老师 to address someone whom we want to show respect to, even if he or she is not a real teacher. It is especially common in working scenarios.


----------



## SuperXW

高小姐 Miss Gao
高女士 Ms. Gao


----------



## zhg

I think the idea of addressing someone with 先生，女士(Mr., Ms.) in Chinese is exactly borrowed from western culture.


----------



## GUO Zijia

小姐 seems a little bit old-fashioned these days


----------



## zhg

GUO Zijia said:


> 小姐 seems a little bit old-fashioned these days


I don't think this is true. For example, in a formal letter where you wish to address a young lady whom you know about nothing but her surname, X小姐 is polite and appropriate and not old-fashioned at all.


----------



## ovaltine888

So I think it is safe to address somebody "surname+老师" regardless of their gender.

老师 is still a well-respected title in China. Usually no one will raise an eyebrow even if you do so to someone younger than you.



GUO Zijia said:


> 小姐 seems a little bit old-fashioned these days


This is because the word 小姐 has another implication referring to sex workers. Sometimes people decide to use the word with caution.


----------



## SimonTsai

ovaltine888 said:


> Sometimes we use surname + 老师 to address someone whom we want to show respect to, even if he or she is not a real teacher.


I personally wouldn't do so, I am sure.


dojibear said:


> In English, if I only know the surname, I must say "Mr. Gao" or "Ms. Gao".


To be frank I find it a tad bit challenging thinking of a situation where I would have to contact someone without knowing his given name or couldn't infer his sex from his given name.


----------



## ovaltine888

SimonTsai said:


> I personally wouldn't do so, I am sure.



You are probably too young too simple  

This is an effective way (at least in Chinese society) to present yourself in a humble manner to someone you meet for the first time in order to win his or her favour.

In Chinese culture, there is another polite way --"师傅" (maybe a little old-fashioned)--to address a stranger. In most cases, it is also unisex. Actually, “师傅” is another word for "老师” in ancient China.


----------



## SuperXW

It is not worthy arguing as Taiwan and Mainland are different in expressions.
Actually, even in a same region, the expressions changes with time.

小姐 implies prostitutes only in recent decades in special contexts. Surname+小姐 is still polite.
Surname/profession+老师 also gets popular only in recent years. Before that, 老师 only refers to school teacher.
师傅 traditionally refers to a person with some skills, such as 司机师傅(driver), 电工师傅(electrician), etc. It is now out of favor as the old skills sound too "low" comparing to new professions.


----------



## ovaltine888

SuperXW said:


> It is not worthy arguing as Taiwan and Mainland are different in expressions.
> Actually, even in a same region, the expressions changes with time.
> 
> 小姐 implies prostitutes only in recent decades in special contexts. Surname+小姐 is still polite.
> Surname/profession+老师 also gets popular only in recent years. Before that, 老师 only refers to school teacher.
> 师傅 traditionally refers to a person with some skills, such as 司机师傅(driver), 电工师傅(electrician), etc. It is now out of favor as the old skills sound too "low" comparing to new professions.



In my opinion, 师傅 is used more extensively than what you said as a person with some skills, though it is a bit old-fashioned.

When I was young, it seemed that people were not used to "先生" and "小姐”. They used 师傅 universally to address a random person on the street when they needed to ask the way.

“师傅，请问王府井大街怎么走？”
“师傅，麻烦您帮我称一斤土豆。”


----------



## SuperXW

ovaltine888 said:


> In my opinion, 师傅 is used more extensively than what you said as a person with some skills, though it is a bit old-fashioned.
> 
> When I was young, it seemed that people were not used to "先生" and "小姐”. They used 师傅 universally to address a random person on the street when they needed to ask the way.
> 
> “师傅，请问王府井大街怎么走？”
> “师傅，麻烦您帮我称一斤土豆。”


Yes, but are there restrictions? Even in those years, wasn't it strange to use 师傅 to address females, or someone obviously younger?


----------



## ovaltine888

SuperXW said:


> Yes, but are there restrictions? Even in those years, wasn't it strange to use 师傅 to address females, or someone obviously younger?


I believe 师傅 is unisex, reminding me of another communist term 同志, hahaha.

As for addressing a younger person, I think it depends on whether you are willing to lower yourself to talk to him or her, just as the use of 老师 nowadays.


----------



## dojibear

SimonTsai said:


> To be frank I find it a tad bit challenging thinking of a situation where I would have to contact someone without knowing his given name or couldn't infer his sex from his given name.


Forum tagnames. In the English-Only forum, I often see a question from a new forum member (from China or Taiwan) who picks a tagname with a Chinese surname in it. 

For example, someone in this thread has the tagname "GUO Zijia". I recognize the surname 郭 (Guo), but I don't know whether the given name "Zijia" implies a gender. So unless the person states gender in their profile (郭先生 does), I don't know.

I don't really need this in the forum -- I can address the person with their tagname -- and forum posters may prefer not to tell us their gender. So it's just a question about Chinese. Thanks for all the comments.


----------



## ovaltine888

dojibear said:


> I don't really need this in the forum -- I can address the person with their tagname -- and forum posters may prefer not to tell us their gender. So it's just a question about Chinese. Thanks for all the comments.



The context decides the register.

Young people also like to call their peers surname+同学, even if they are not really classmates. This is another way not to tell genders. It is good to use it in this language learning forum.

But it sounds immature when it is used by a senior person.


----------

