# Public breastfeeding in your country



## badgrammar

I am curious as to how mothers around the world handle the task of breastfeeding in public.  Obviously, in some parts of the world, no one is shocked to see a bit of breast wile a baby is nursing.  In France, it is usually done with the least possible amount of breast showing, but it is not an issue, so to speak.  In the US, much to my dismay, I see women going to great lengths to drape themselves (and the child's head) in scarves and cloths in order to avoid even a glimpse of the mother's breast -- or else retiring to a ladies room where a bench is occasionally provided.

I have even heard reflections about it being "disgusting" to see a mother breastfeeding, especially in restaurants.  

How do Moms handle this where you live, and what is the public reaction?  Is it a problem that someone see all or part of a nursing woman's breast?  As a nursing mom, have you felt uncomfortable feeding your baby in a public area?

(Today I read an article of the public outcry against a magazine cover showing a  baby nursing on a bare breast.  You can take a look at that here:http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/07/27/nursing.cover.ap/index.html).


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## Etcetera

In Russia, I've never seen mothers feeding their children in public places. But here women try to avoid bringing their infant children to public places. I think it's wise, and had I had children, I wouldn't take my baby with me anywhere.

Actually, I saw Gypsy women feeding their children in the street. But only Gypsy.


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## southerngal

Hi, I'm obviously from the US, and I think the bigger the "deal" the woman makes about it, the more obvious she is. I've nursed several children in public, in finer restaurants, and at weddings. Quite often, someone will ask to hold the baby, and I'll have to say, "Sure, but could you wait just a few minutes until he's done nursing?" There's usually a very surprised expression because the person hadn't even noticed what was happening. One can be discreet without all the tent blankets and such. I find the nursing _controversy _in the US pretty bizarre.

Here's what's really odd. If a baby is nursing, the nipple is obviously in the baby's mouth. Usually the bottom of the breast is covered by the baby's body. A two-piece outfit is ideal for nursing because then the blouse can cover the top part of the breast. So what is showing? Really nothing. However, I suppose some women don't cover the top part of the breast very well. But think about women with extremely low-cut blouses that show deep cleavage. Is anyone complaining about that?


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## GenJen54

Hi badgrammar, 

I had read that article, too, and actually thought about posting something about it. You beat me to the punch, but I'm glad you did. 

I think the entire controversy is atrocious and speaks to one of the many things that is wrong about the U.S. For so many people, EVERYTHING about the human body has to be sexualized. Even breast feeding. 

I don't see too many women in my city breastfeeding. This is due in part to many possibilities: 

1. I live in a rather conservative state so it's just not "done" often;
2. Those women who do breastfeed "in public" cover themselves discreetly so I don't notice them; 
3. Some malls and larger stores now offer nursing rooms or at least comfortable furniture in bathroom areas where nursing can be done in a more private, quiet setting; 
4. I'm not offended by it so I don't "tune in" to when it is happening. 

What really gets me mad about this issue is that women should be _encouraged_ to do what is the best thing nutritionally for their babies, which doctors and experts across the globe have found to be is breastfeeding. 

I agree there is a difference between someone "flopping it out there" for all the world to see, and being more discreet with covered clothing or a small blanket, but again, it's one of the most beautiful things in the world and I'm embarrassed that people would get all in a dither about a beautiful magazine cover, when countless men's magazines showing women in all states of nudity (and then some) garner little public outcry at all. It speaks to the hypocrisy of our country if you ask me.



			
				etcetera said:
			
		

> But here women try to avoid bringing their infant children to public places. I think it's wise, and had I had children, I wouldn't take my baby with me anywhere.


This is interesting. In the U.S., babies have become all but a "fashion accessory" to a certain degree. Most moms I know want out of the house as soon as possible after giving birth, and usually start toting the tot around with them as soon as two to three weeks after giving birth. Doctors here also say this is good for the child's social development and can help build its immune system.


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## Etcetera

GenJen54 said:
			
		

> This is interesting. In the U.S., babies have become all but a "fashion accessory" to a certain degree. Most moms I know want out of the house as soon as possible after giving birth, and usually start toting the tot around with them as soon as two to three weeks after giving birth. Doctors here also say this is good for the child's social development and can help build its immune system.


Even so?.. Well, it may depend on the country in question. When I said I don't think it good for the baby to be taken to some public place, I was speaking about Russia, primarily.


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## moirag

I never had any problems either in Spain or England. It puts people out a lot less than asking for a bottle or jar to be heated to the right temperature ( which they - even flight attendants, who should be taught about these things, I think - always overheat, leading to another half-hour of screaming while the milk/food cools down!). Sometimes in a public place e.g,a restaurant/at a wedding, I asked for a quiet room/corner and was provided with it. Other times I just fed where I was, and mostly people don't even notice. Yes, I had convenient clothes for it, e.g. shirt and nursing bra - you don't want to have to start stripping off in public! Having said all that, I rarely see other mothers doing it . Could it be because the women themselves don't feel comfortable with it? My sisters-in-law(Spanish) never did  it, saying babies need a quiet atmosphere to feed - but I suspect that may have been an excuse, as the Spanish have no scruples about keeping small children up till 3 or 4am at discos, no matter how tired and in need of a quiet place they are.


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## GenJen54

I remember having a discussion about breastfeeding in general when I lived in France and served for several weeks as an au pair for an American woman and her French husband. 

She had breasfed all of her children, but told me that many of the French mothers she knew would not breast feed because they were afraid of how it would change the size and shape of their breasts (apparently breast aesthetics are very important in France).

I don't know if this is still the case, and would be interested to hear a current French perspective on the matter.


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## french4beth

I nursed all of my children, both in Canada & in the US, and never had a problem (my mother, who is extremely conservative, was my most vocal opponent, initially, until I educated her). 

In addition to GenJen's & southerngal's comments, which I would agree with completely, people generally never realized when I _was_ breastfeeding - more often than not, people would peek into my baby sling & see more of me than they had intended! I've very discreetly nursed in churches, government offices, restaurants, clothing stores, but NEVER in a restroom - would _you_ eat a meal in a public restroom?!?  

The so-called controversy is a tempest in a teapot, in my opinion - for those moms who are able, breast-feeding is the healthiest, most nutritional option - it also aids in the mother's physical (uterine contractions, etc.) & emotional (happy hormones!) recovery following childbirth. To discourage such a natural act is abominable! Plus, what do moms do during a natural disaster, when no fresh, clean water is available, and no electricity is available? If you're nursing, you're always ready, always available - you can head out the door without worrying about feeding times, bottles, formula, etc.


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## ladybird

This is an interesting one!

I have 5 children, all grown up now, this includes a set of twins.
I managed to breastfeed only one child successfully for any length of time, mainly due to the lack of facilities available when we were out and about.

On quite a few occasions, usually when I had stopped in a cafe for a cup of tea and the baby needed a feed, I was asked if I would feel "more comfortable" using the restroom.

You can probably guess the rest, my exit from the premises with a squealing infant in tow.

My personal feeling is that England is not a very child-friendly country as a whole, I think we tend to be guilty of double standards.
If a baby is crying for a feed and making a bit of noise, there are usually stares and nasty remarks. If the child is then breastfed there are more stares and nasty remarks.  

Maybe shops and eateries could have signs outside showing that they are child-friendly? I'm not sure if anything exists like this at the moment but it might be a help for stressed out mums.

ladybird


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## moirag

Well, ladybird, I lived in Spain when my children were born, but did spend holidays in England, plus have friends with children there. I never had any problems. Like I say, mostly people simply don't notice. If they do, some look away, embarrassed, which is fine by me. No-one ever told me not to, or told me to go to what I assume is the toilet, when you say "restroom".I'm talking about 13-14 years ago. I was aware of the "problem" at the time, and decided just to brave it out and see what happened.....and the answer is ...nothing. A good friend of mine was virtually permanently breast-feeding, and she had no problems, either. I don't think the solution is to say "I won't breastfeed, then". Probably I was out and about much less than you during breast-feeding days, as that never would have entered my head.


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## tvdxer

I don't believe I've ever seen a woman breastfeed in public.  They just don't do it out in the open in the U.S. (well, I'm sure _some_ do, but very few).  

I can't say I'd be offended or shocked to see a woman doing so, but I would consider it a bit out of the ordinary.  Generally it is done in private.


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## emma42

I have seen it done occasionally in England, and I think there is a mixture of views, predictably more positive and accepting from younger people (under 50ish).

I totally agree with Genjen that the controversy is "atrocious" and if I were a nursing mother I would take every opportunity to whip out my breasts and feed my babies!


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## panjabigator

There was a lady breast feeding once in my line at Subway.  I was quite caught off guard when I realized that she was, but it is normal and natural.  I haven't really seen much of it here nor would I care much if I did.  But my religious community is very very conservative in some regards, so I doubt you would see a woman breast feeding in temple.  People would stare and then politics would take their course.


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## zena168

The cosmopolitan places tend to have women who would use cover-ups or prepped bottles.  It’s not against the law to breastfeed in public but it just seems to be a common courtesy to not make it revealing.  I have only seen it openly done once at a rural bus stop.  Can’t say it’s common in the U.S..


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## KateNicole

Etcetera said:
			
		

> Even so?.. Well, it may depend on the country in question. When I said I don't think it good for the baby to be taken to some public place, I was speaking about Russia, primarily.


 
Just out of curiosity, why not?  Are you afraid someone will kidnap the baby?  That the baby will get sick?  Or is it just too much work?  That the weather is bad for the baby? When is a child old enough to be taken out into public?


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## Brioche

In Australia, women have the right to breast-feed anywhere.

A restaurant/bar/cafe owner [&c] who asks you not to breast-feed, or refuses you service, is breaching anti-discrimination laws.


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## ekhlewagastiR

KateNicole said:
			
		

> Just out of curiosity, why not? Are you afraid someone will kidnap the baby? That the baby will get sick? Or is it just too much work? That the weather is bad for the baby? When is a child old enough to be taken out into public?


 
I’d like to comment this question too, hope Etcetera wouldn’t mind. The question was for her but still I’m also from St. Petersburg, I’d like to give my version…
 
Etcetera is absolutely right when saying “In Russia, I've never seen mothers feeding their children in public places. But here women try to avoid bringing their infant children to public places. I think it's wise, and had I had children, I wouldn't take my baby with me anywhere.” 
“When I said I don't think it good for the baby to be taken to some public place, I was speaking about Russia, primarily.”
 
Because if we are talking of Russia, it’s so. It’s not normal, of course, but *talking of **Russia* it’s BETTER so. If I had a child in Russia (just can’t imagine that nightmare but still), I would do the same.
Because it’s very difficult, nothing safe and sometimes even dangerous to take babies to public places. Generally saying, it’s very difficult, nothing safe and sometimes even dangerous to live in Russia for everybody but it’s another topic. 
 
The stairs make it impossible to get anywhere with a baby pram, public transport practically is not functioning, to enter in the metro and then exit with life during the rush hours is a great luck- sometimes in the morning you are trying during 40 minutes to enter in the metro to get to the centre to your work, and once in, you can’t even move, it’s so overcrowded. 
 
One of my friends had a friend – an American student - who planed to stay one year in Russia studying the language, but after one metro trip at the rush hours she went home to USA. My former Swedish colleges never entry in St Petersburg metro neither.
 
But even if it’s not rush hours, nobody will leave you a seat etc. etc.
 
Because even not all the cafeterias in the centre are provided with WC. Because the people are quite aggressive and you breastfeeding would feel yourself vulnerable in this situation, whoever can make you whatever and you can’t react rapidly.  
Contamination is high, it’s neither good for a baby. You can see it on the shoes for example – here you brush your shoes once a week and they are clear, there you do it several times a day and they are clear only the first 50 m you go. 
 
It was just what occurred to me right now, there are more reasons of course. The fact is that every step and thing which for us in Europe is easy and no problematic, may convert in a bigger problem in Russia. It’s not a human-friendly land in any aspect. That’s why women prefer leave their babies at home with a grand mom or a kangaroo for example. There you always have to be on the alert and a baby with you makes you more vulnerable.
 
By the way, according to the official statistics (which always is lower) more than 500 people disappear in Russia every day and it tends to grow. Yes, children also. Here in the West your son of 10 years can go unaccompanied to college, go to visit his friends, stay at their home etc. and everything is OK. There – if he’s got to school, if he’s already back at home etc. it’s a permanent headache. 
The son of my chief there, when had 10 years, had to call her every morning when got to school. One day he forgot to call – she, like a crazy, left the work and hurried to the college to see if he was OK. If you have children in Russia, you are in permanent fear for them. And for your own life and future also, of course. That’s why a lot of immigration.   
There are of course people who makes money there and feel happy but on a longer perspective it’s not a solution. And the money doesn’t resolve these problems. 
 
It was about Russia.
 
I had my baby in Spain (I personally can’t imagine having babies in Russia). In Spain I had no problem with it. Women do breastfeeding sometimes, absolutely OK. I myself had to do it once in a park, I did it in a discrete way (a bench in a place where were less people, a nursing bra so one doesn’t see practically nothing), no problem.
I took my baby to every place I myself went; I also think it’s good for a child to have a contact with the world around him although when so little it sleeps almost all the time. I’m enjoying my motherhood in Spain. 
 
But speaking of Russia it’s more correct not to take babies to public places, Etcetera had right.


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## Sallyb36

I breastfed both my boys in public when necessary.  Got some strange looks, but just gave them strange looks back.  No-one ever told me to go anywhere else.  I would have argued and refused if they did!  If anyone had tried to move me I would have created a huge fuss and shamed the appropriate person.  It is the best thing for babies and for the mothers as well.


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## catilin

Thanks. Reading this has been useful


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## lexicalia

Intersting thread. Just to chime in: I'm American, living in Germany for the last 3 1/2 years. Americans, as a whole, are totally prude about anything having to do with the human body. Besides the taboo against breastfeeding in public, Americans also wear a swimsuit into the sauna (I think they do this in Englland too??), which here in Germany would be seen as odd (and to me seems unsanitary; sitting there sweating profusely under a lycra suit: Yuk!). But, it's really impossible to generalize about Americans, since it's such an enormous country with so many subcultures. I lived many years in California, and in many parts of Northern California, nudity in certain situations or places (for example swimming on the Yuba river or at certain beaches or in a sauna) is perfectly okay and not sexual. Likewise, in these parts of the US, breasfeeding in a restaurant or any public place is also generally okay. But in some other, more conservative places in the US these sorts of things are considered taboo.
Here in Germany, I must say I have only very rarely seen a woman breastfeeing in public. And women take their babies everywhere! Still, I somehow assume it is more socially acceptable here than it is in the US. Any Germans would like to confirm this?


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## cipotarebelde

I have raised all my children in Central America but traveled to the US during their breastfeeding years. I hate just knowing that people think that Bfing in public "isn't done". Because, of course, it is. But, the fact that people think it isn't makes you nervous that someone will notice and think you're being "unusal". Worse are family and friend gatherings where it is quite clear, through suggestions, comments, helpful indications of where the back bedroom is, etc. that you are expected to remove yourself and baby when breastfeeding. Sorry, its annoying and offensive because while the other person has every possibility of not staring to figure out what part of my breast he/she might be getting a glimpse of, I DON'T have a choice at any given moment of whether my child is hungry. The worst: people on airplanes. Thank the goddess I have traveled often sharing a row with some wonderfully helpful latina abuela.


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## Kangy

I don't think it's wrong to breastfeed in public. Here in Argentina it's not a problem, or at least I've never heard of any problematic case.

What's worse? Having a bit of breast out for a while or letting your baby starve?

Come on...


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## Gwan

I have seen family and friends breastfeed plenty of times at family gatherings, in their own homes etc. and don't see a problem with it, but come to think of it I don't recall seeing people breastfeed here in public places. I'm 99% sure that, like in Australia, it would be illegal to ask someone to leave a cafe etc., but either I just haven't been paying attention or it's an uncommmon occurrence in public. Probably the latter.


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## Du_sud

Here in Brazil, it's absolutely normal to see moms breastfeeding in public - in restaurants, parks, shopping malls, friends' house...
Well, I'm a man, but I don't remember my sister or any other female relative/friend ever complaining about that.


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## Vale_yaya

In Ecuador is very normal... it's done everywhere... in the middle of the street, buses, and fine restaurants... some people are discreet, some other are not at all... 

Some people may feel uncomfortable to witness it in a crowded place like a bus for example... but no way they would even dare to say something because they would get "weird" looks back from people... 

I was very surprised when I came here and I saw "nursing rooms" in malls I didn't understand the concept... but I guess in here women like their privacy with their babies to share this special moment. It's not that it's not allowed to do it outside, it's just that mothers feel more comfortable to do it at their own pace.

Yaya


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## Trisia

Well, over here, before '89, it happened a lot more often than today (I could count on the fingers of a clumsy carpenter's hand _(*wink D.)_ the number of times I've seen it happen in public). After all, if you were on a train or in a similar situation, you couldn't go in a tiny restroom, or starve the baby. The custom (I asked around) was to always have a large and fine handkerchief with you. It usually covered the baby's face, to protect against the wind and cold, and you'd simply find a way to gently cover the whole scene. Plus people wouldn't exactly stare.

Nowadays, at a restaurant on in other public places, I wouldn't expect to see it (in fact, to be truthful, I would be pretty surprised to see it happen) but then again very small babies don't go out too often in the evening (mothers will either put off most of their social life or ask another member of the family/a nanny to mind the baby for a while). And when taking the baby out for a walk, you do feed it first. I don't think anyone would mind it, or ask the mother to leave, but we'd all expect it to be done in a discreet way. 



I'm not sure a mother nursing a child makes a great magasine cover. Perhaps could do for a nice painting, but then again paintings have a special aura, that glossy paper doesn't, which preserves the intimacy and... almost sacredness of the moment.


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## BAS24

From my brief experience in dealing with breast feeding in public I would say it is uncommon in the U.S. largely in part due to pumps. Women prepare the bottles ahead of time and use them in situations such as the restaurants. In my personal opinion, that seems to be a good compromise. The child gets the nutrition he/she needs (the most important factor), no one is offended or gives strange looks (just because it shouldn't be so, doesn't mean it's not), and the mother doesn't have to worry about feeling embarrassed.

That being said, I have seen numerous women breast-feeding in public. I used to work in a public health clinic and many of the women (usually immigrants from countries where it is more acceptable) reguarly breast-fed their child in the waiting room, and not very discreetly either. The action of breast-feeding did not offend me. However, I did feel rather uncomfortable because I was a 22 year old male and having to talk with and help them with the paperwork. I personally didn't find anything remotely sexual about it, but I was worried about the allegations of others. In a time when getting fired for sexual harrassment is only a comment away, I felt I had to make a constant effort not to look down or drop my eyes.


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## Vale_yaya

BAS24 said:


> I was a 22 year old male and having to talk with and help them with the paperwork. I personally didn't find anything remotely sexual about it, but I was worried about the allegations of others. In a time when getting fired for sexual harrassment is only a comment away, I felt I had to make a constant effort not to look down or drop my eyes.


 
I think you brought up a pretty good point... that's the main issue in USA... it's not against breast feeding... and it's not against mothers of course... actually in USA breast feeding is promoted a LOT... due to all the good nutrition that mothers provide to their children through it... but the "way to do it" is different... they want you to use the pump in order to be able to use the bottle in public places and is not only because they want you to do it, is also because the mothers feel more comfortable about it too (as I already stated before)... but "obviously" you can not change mentality from "immigrants" which I think is fair... besides you can not ask other people to feel embarrased for such a natural thing... Unfortunately here there is a lot of "sexual harrassment cases" been brought up "easily"... and any "wrong word" or "even look" could be an issue or a misunderstanding for some other people with different mentality.
That's why they prefer to avoid these issues. 

Yaya


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## cipotarebelde

Wow, I am from Minnesota and never thought that feeding my baby was going to cause trouble for someone else. I have tried to be as careful as possible so as to not offend, though it offends me to have to do so. But. risking some legal action seems even worse. I am not an immigrant in the U.S. but I do come there from having lived in Central America... as I said before. And, I do think these are things that you just pick up naturally in your cultural environment when you get to the point of actually doing it yourself, its funny, its not really something you decide to have a feeling about!

Same goes for VERY different opinions on how long anyone should breastfeed (to what age). That, I think, gets even stronger cultural reactions at times than the "public" issue. I don't really get that one either, but again, I didn't realize the legal implications of the first issue (and I call myself a gringa!, huh!)


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## Trisia

Erm... despite what I said, or perhaps because of it, I think around here most people would think anyone who rebuked a mother for feeding the baby was a monster. And if you did stare, they'd think you're being rude and/or too curious, but definitely not a pervert (unless of course you really happened to be a major freak and started saying inappropriate things).

So no threats of lawsuits over nursing babies over here.


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## Vale_yaya

Trisia said:


> And if you did stare, they'd think you're being rude and/or too curious, but definitely not a pervert (unless of course you really happened to be a major freak and started saying inappropriate things).
> 
> So no threats of lawsuits over nursing babies over here.


 
Please, don't take me wrong... not because a person is staring at you when you're nursing it means that he'll be taken to jail (in USA), but you can tell what kind of looks you're getting... what I meant by my comment is that this "could" happen... when breast feeding there's people who is very discreet and there's people who are not at all and don't even care about being so... and there's also "freaks" unfortunately... believe me they "are"... who change "this beautiful special moment" with your baby to something (don't even want to go there) dirty... 

I'll tell you something that just happened to my friend:

My friend was breast feeding... and covered with a baby blanket.. a guy came up to her and pulled off the blankie... ???... and said: I wanted to see how the baby's fed... ???... what the heck??... "obviously" she didn't want to be seen and that's why she was covered from the beginning... this act was not only rude... it was more than that... THIS IS NOT COMMON!!!... but I'm just saying...

Yaya


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## jinti

Vale_yaya said:


> My friend was breast feeding... and covered with a baby blanket.. a guy came up to her and pulled off the blankie... ???... and said: I wanted to see how the baby's fed... ???... what the heck??... "obviously" she didn't want to be seen and that's why she was covered from the beginning... this act was not only rude... it was more than that... THIS IS NOT COMMON!!!... but I'm just saying...


OK, but as you said, that's not common, and I'll go one further and say I think it's better evidence of one person's mental condition than anything considered culturally appropriate here.

I work at a university, and I deal with mothers -- I think all of them immigrants -- who want to breastfeed during classes and workshop sessions.  (My program does sometimes allow kids in class as a way of helping out parents who would otherwise not be able to attend.)  

We suggest they find an empty classroom or another room to do it in, since while breastfeeding is perfectly natural and the best thing for the child, it does not have to be done in the middle of class.  The mothers' arguments usually center on their right to feed their babies (which is real but totally beside the point, to our way of thinking), and they don't generally want to hear that our issue isn't IF they do it, but rather HOW they do it.  Thankfully, this only comes up a couple times a year.  (And then there was the one who wanted to pump her breasts during class.... )


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## djkingdanny

Etcetera said:


> Even so?.. Well, it may depend on the country in question. When I said I don't think it good for the baby to be taken to some public place, I was speaking about Russia, primarily.


 

I'm Peruvian and in my country women aren't embarrassed of breastfeeding babies in Public. That's the reason why Russia is known in other countries as "The Cold Country"


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## Sepia

djkingdanny said:


> I'm Peruvian and in my country women aren't embarrassed of breastfeeding babies in Public. That's the reason why Russia is known in other countries as "The Cold Country"



When I was a child it was not common to breastfeed at all where I lived. That fortunately has changed drastically and they do it in public also. It is my impression that the further you go south in Europe and also in Latin America they have a more natural way of dealing with children - which includes breastfeeding them whereever you want to. And I cannot understand why one should not, or why one should avoid bringing babies to public places.


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