# Children on leashes



## mickaël

Hello

A few days ago, an American woman wrote on the forum that her mother put her on a leash when she was young & it reminded me of how surprised I was when I first saw children on leashes in England. I must say I had never seen that in France. 
So I wonder if it's a common practice in your country & how you think it would be viewed in your country.
And if it's a common practice, is it frowned upon by some?

Sorry if I've offended anyone. I think that in France people would be surprised too...


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## Dempsey

I have seen it before, though only on the really young (ages 3-4 maybe). I remember seeing another kid from my pre-school walking off with a leash around his torso, and being shocked and confused by it. I asked my mother and she said something along the lines of "that boy must be really out of control".

I think the assumption here is: if the child is attached to a leash, then he is probably out of control and needs one. A desperate last measure for hyperactive children.

It's in effective measure for kids but it is humiliating to the leashed child. I'm sure people have varying opinions on it.


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## Brioche

In my dialect of English, they are not "leashes", but *reins.*

Toddler reins do not mean that the child is "out of control".

It's about safety - just like harnesses to stop them falling out of the pram, or out of the high-chair - or seat-belts in cars.


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## Suehil

The alternative is to keep tight hold of the child's hand at all times, which gives both of you less freedom of movement.  As soon as the child is old enough to walk without holding someone's hand (i.e. can be trusted in traffic) then he is also to old for reins.


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## amnariel

Brioche said:


> Toddler reins do not mean that the child is "out of control".
> 
> It's about safety - just like harnesses to stop them falling out of the pram, or out of the high-chair - or seat-belts in cars.


 

As much as I know, *rein *was quite popular in the '70s, correct me if I'm wrong. 

When I was toddler my mother had leg injury and could not run after me, so for my own safety she used rein, plus I was very short because I stared walking very early and it was a problem for her to constantly hold my hand in our strolls. 

She didn't use it with my brother though, and he is the one who was uncatchable kid


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## Víctor Pérez

In Spain, harnesses and reins are only used by very few parents.

Without any doubt, talking about children, I give preference to safety than to anything else: kids are too fragile and accidents can occur too easy to them. Fortunately, my children never had an accident but, If they were little again today, I would'nt doubt to use harnesses and reins if needed. 
Zero tolerance to children's accidents!


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## Vagabond

I had never heard of anything of the kind before. It was definitely not happening when I was a kid, doesn't happen now as far as I know, but I will ask my parents to see if it did when they were little (I kind of doubt it, but better make sure).

And, I'm talking about Greece.


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## GEmatt

Dempsey said:


> ...it is humiliating to the leashed child.


Isn't "humiliation" too advanced a sentiment for a 3 or 4 year-old?  Frustration, perhaps, but...?





Brioche said:


> In my dialect of English, they are not "leashes", but *reins.*
> 
> Toddler reins do not mean that the child is "out of control".
> 
> It's about safety - just like harnesses to stop them falling out of the pram, or out of the high-chair - or seat-belts in cars.


Agreed, on all points.  I have seen them used as well, as short-distance safety measures for toddlers.  Obviously over longer distances, parents will just use the pushchair, as the kiddies can't be expected to keep up.  I don't see anything odd in their use, at all, although if the sight is new to you, I can understand the double-take.


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## Sepia

GEmatt said:


> Isn't "humiliation" too advanced a sentiment for a 3 or 4 year-old?  Frustration, perhaps, but...?  ...




I don't think it is. I had similarly complex sentiments as a 3 year old and even earlier. At that age some of the things happen that are the hardest to forgive, I'd say.


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## GEmatt

Complex sentiments at earlier than 3 years old? That's amazing. Perhaps you were precocious, Sepia? Were you similarly "leashed", and did you feel humiliated? Did you feel any less resentment or humiliation at being buckled into your pushchair for your own safety? How did you deal with it? I ask, because I have no recollection of suffering such indignities at that age, although the incriminating evidence (photographic and otherwise) is still there, in my parents' attic.


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## amnariel

GEmatt said:


> the incriminating evidence (photographic and otherwise) is still there, in my parents' attic.




ha ha ha same with me GEmatt  and I do not recall feeling humiliated. Actually I'm glad that I didn't have remote chance to run under a vehicle or be attacked by dog in the park.

Parents in my country don't use reins nowdays, it's much easier for them to try to keep child safe in a stroller, even if the child is too big for it.


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## alexacohen

Hello:
Thy're not common in Spain, and they weren't either thirty five years ago, when my dad used to walk with me firmly attached to the reins.
Mine were yellow and had a little teddy bear painted at the front.
People used to ask my dad if he thought he was walking the dog.
I used the reins to walk with my twins and got more or less the same astonished stares and the same silly questions my dad got such a long time ago.
In my case, the questions were even more stupid: as a mother of two year old twins and a newborn baby in her pram, there was no other way to take my kids for a walk. Unless, of course, those people thought it was better for two years old children to walk and run unchecked and get lost in a crowd, or fall over and hurt themselves, or cross the street and be run over by a car, than subject them to the "humiliation" of walking firmly attached to security reins.


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## panjandrum

Reins like this have been around for decades - indeed since I was a child.
They are probably very useful with some kids in some contexts.  If you have ever been responsible for a small child who has gone missing in a large space with lots of people you will understand why people use them.
They are not humiliating - any more than holding the child's hand, or strapping the child into a buggy/stroller, or strapping the child into a high chair, or placing a barrier at the top/bottom of the stairs, or preventing the child from falling into the fishpond ... ... ... ... 

This statement is based on common-sense usage. I no longer use reins with my own kids (33, 31, 29).  That _would _be humiliating


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## jonquiliser

I can't remember seeing harnesses or leashed kids too often in Finland - perhaps parents find it easier with buggies? I used to find them rather amusing, until I saw my friend with her little kid and realised it's probably not a bad idea, at least if walking around on busy streets and the like. I don't know if there are any strong ideas one way or the other, though. But it probably is nicer for kids to be able to walk themselves, rather than sitting in a pushchair all the time.


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## KIKUYA

mickaël said:


> I must say I had never seen that in France.
> 
> 
> 
> Hi!
> 
> Well, couriously enough I can tell you that I was in France (St Remy en Provence) in August and I saw a mother and a grandmother teaching a toddler to walk using reins. Those are not really common in Spain. Here we use either baby-walkers or buggies to encourage children to walk. In any case I think they are more commoly used to help children to walk on their own than for security purposes. Honestly, I don't think they can cause any trauma in a common child.
Click to expand...


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## gato2

En España no es muy comun y quiza por eso cuando alguna vez lo he visto me ha resultado sorprendente y algo desagradable, pero debo admitir que objetivamente hablando parece una buena solucion sobre todo si se tienen varios niños.


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## gotitadeleche

Though I have never seen any other children on leashes, my mother used harnesses and leashes on my brother and me about 50 years ago. My father had been transferred to the Phillipines and she followed later. She had to board the ship in San Francisco, and was a bit nervous having to travel overseas for the first time in her life, and with two little children (4 years and 2 years). With the leashes she was able to keep hold of us even when distracted with luggage, tickets, boarding passes, crowds of people, etc. We did not feel humiliated at the time, and later, when I was older, I thought it was fun to put the harness on to play.


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## Terry Morti

It is best practice advice that safety harnesses are ALWAYS used in pushchairs and highchairs, they come with clip-on walking reins for toddlers. The Walking rein is more about stopping the newly walking child falling at every other step. 

A wrist link is more like a dog leash, that goes around the child's wrist and is used to prevent the child getting separated from the parent and lost in crowds. Ever since the Jamie Bulger tragedy they are very popular in the UK.

This is a harness with reins 
This is a wrist link


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## Lugubert

jonquiliser said:


> I can't remember seeing harnesses or leashed kids too often in Finland - perhaps parents find it easier with buggies? I used to find them rather amusing, until I saw my friend with her little kid and realised it's probably not a bad idea, at least if walking around on busy streets and the like. I don't know if there are any strong ideas one way or the other, though. But it probably is nicer for kids to be able to walk themselves, rather than sitting in a pushchair all the time.


They used to be common when I and my younger sister were kids, as you hint at, probably because there were no buggies for children old enough to begin walking.


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## Josita

Interesting...This is only that I can say bout it,cause in my country something like that is not common.


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## Bawana

Leashes, harnesses, reins, whatever you may refer to them as, have been used in one from or another probably since kids were invented. I know the fraise "tied to your mothers apron strings" is an old one, and applies.
 Here in the US they have been used for a long time. They have never been main stream however, but have faded in and out in usage and popularity. There has always been people who love them and would use them, and the like who would not and hate them, also varying degrees on both sides, sometime users. When I was young 60's, 70's, I can remember seeing kids in them tethered to the front porch, or washline, whatever was handy to keep them from wandering to far when mom or dad couldn't be right there. That (tethering) seems to be really frowned upon today. I was one such child tethered in the yard at times. Even though our yard had a fence, I always found a way to escape! Out came the harness for me. I have only slight memories of it, I know what happened mostly from stories from my mom and older sister. Funny, I have a vivid memory of how I use to get through the fence before the harness? This harness was also used when I was in the carriage or stroller at a younger age to make sure you didn't tumble out or jump out. 
 They seem to be making a return to being popular right now. I think because of the paranoia of the current times, and they now make cute animal backpack ones.  These are liked more by parents and kids then the stark strapped type harnesses, more fun to wear and look at. All and all, they are a tool for safety, no different than any other for child safety, seatbelt, carseat, highchair, crib, playpen, etc all safety devices meant to help confine. Anyone of which could be used wrongly and viewed as bad.


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## Lusitania

Never seen them in Portugal and it would be considered child abuse and if I would see it in another country I would be in shock.


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## Hakro

Lusitania said:


> Never seen them in Portugal and it would be considered child abuse and if I would see it in another country I would be in shock.


I've seen that the Portuguese don't often wear seat belts in cars. Would you be shocked to see all the people in other countries wear safety belts?

This is what the children's reins/harnesses were for: to prevent kids from running away to the street or even from falling down while taking their first steps. Just for their safety.


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## Lusitania

Hakro said:


> I've seen that the Portuguese don't often wear seat belts in cars. Would you be shocked to see all the people in other countries wear safety belts?


 
That shocks me too, because there has been done so much work on prevention and we have more deaths in car accidents than in the Israeli-Palestian conflict.




> This is what the children's reins/harnesses were for: to prevent kids from running away to the street or even from falling down while taking their first steps. Just for their safety.


Never seen it and can't imagine it, I never had even heard of it, but I can imagine that I would take a child on a leash like a pet. Sorry. Didn't meant to offend anyone.


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## DearPrudence

I had never thought those harnesses (let's call it that way) were made for the child's safety. Actually I have seen quite a lot of kids walking very soundly (in England, never in France) & I had the impression it was more to control the child than to protect him. But I guess it's just because of my biased & unaccustomed vision of the thing.
(Reminds me of something I heard on the BBC about more & more children being injured/killed in accidents in the street while paradoxically (or not) parents were increasingly protective & drove them to school as much as possible. But I'm being off-topic).

As for seat belts (a bit off-topic too maybe), I can't imagine not wearing one, it's just automatic & as I see it, it has not much to see with those leashes harnesses.

I don't know if I'm answering the question...


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## stanley

Like a week ago we were walking through the local Mall here ( in Germany ) and there was a man who was about 40 years old and he was holding his little son on leashes. We we're kind of shocked, because we had never seen something like that before. I think it's inappropriate. You treat your kid like a dog or any other pet.


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## Hakro

stanley said:


> Like a week ago we were walking through the local Mall here ( in Germany ) and there was a man who was about 40 years old and he was holding his little son on leashes. We we're kind of shocked, because we had never seen something like that before. I think it's inappropriate. You treat your kid like a dog or any other pet.


Would you rather let your kid run suddenly to the street where cars are going?

I suppose you'd be more shocked seeing the dead kid on the street.

(Didn't you read my post #23?)


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## stanley

Hakro said:


> Would you rather let your kid run suddenly to the street where cars are going?
> 
> I suppose you'd be more shocked seeing the dead kid on the street.
> 
> (Didn't you read my post #23?)


No I didn't notice it in the first place. Well but still. I still think you're treating your kid like an animal.


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## alexacohen

stanley said:


> No I didn't notice it in the first place. Well but still. I still think you're treating your kid like an animal.


 
Excuse me.

Reins are for the children's *safety.*
People who use them do not treat their children like animals. 
Do people who carry their babies inside baby carriers treat them as if they were baby kangaroos, too? 
You may like them or not, you may use them or not, that is your choice.
But do not judge people who use them so easily.


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## Suehil

Perhaps Stanley would prefer to allow his children the freedom of choice - to run under a car.


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## badgrammar

I think it looks awful, and I have never used one...  But, some kids, as pointed out above, may have a personality that makes it necessary.  

I have mostly seen them used in big public places like airports and amusement parks.  And as a mom who travels frequently with two children, IF one of my children WERE of the type that ceaselessly wanders away (whether out of curiosity or mishevious intent), MAYBE I would consider it, too.  

As with many things that we see other parents doing, their reasons for doing it may be sound.  Maybe not, but sometimes if someone has a chance to explain, you realize why they do A, B or C with little Johnny.

I have a neighbor down the street who I have known for years.  Her 9 year old recently told me, complaining, that his mom won't even let him walk into "Centre ville" alone, like all the other kids (it's just two intersections away in a pretty safe neighborhood).  I didn't say so, but I really agreed with him.  All the kids that age go, my boy sure did.  

Later I talked to the mom and found out why, in his particular case, she will not let him.  And I understood perfectly well then.  

So maybe they're just lazy parents (surely there are a few who harness the kid up and feed him Ritalin), or maybe they have their reasons.


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## Lusitania

Anyway, the thread is on Leashes which are more for pets, if it's about Reins we are talking about another thing, which is riding a child like a horse.

I agree Alexa that we shouldn't be judgemental but what I don't want is that some day in my country I cannot go for a walk with my children without a leash or I'm a bad parent.

I have a large, large family and nobody had to wear a leash or was run over by a car. We were all taugh about dangers and there was always an adult looking after us.
And I don't think that it can be compared to a babies car or babies kangoroos.


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## Argónida

I have to confess that when I saw the title of the thread I thought inmediately: "¡¿children on leashes?!, ¡¿a new kind of torture in the world?!"

That proves that a lot of times we have prejudices when we don't know enough about other people's costumes.

That also proves that the idea of leashes for children is so strange in my life and my culture that I couldn't imagine that good parents use them for children's safety before reading your posts.

Now I can understand you, but I wonder if leashes are really necessary. Here no one uses them and children aren't hit by cars or treaded by crowds all the time. In fact, that sort of accidents are very unusual (I live in a city with lots of traffic and people).


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## lizzeymac

I can understand that for people who have seen or used  safety reins or, with respect, for people who have not spent much time trying to walk on a crowded city street with an impetuous 3 or 4 year-old child, the idea of using a "rein" on children is strange, but "safety" is the key word.  
I think people living in busy cities may have a different view from those who live in the suburbs and the country. My mother said she used a safety rein when I was very young so that she could let me develop a sense of independence, to be able to walk and explore safely in a very busy city.

A few people have put forward the idea that reins are not necessary if the children are "well-behaved", but most children are capable of walking and running at least a year or 2 before they are old enough to make consistently good choices about whether or not they should run across the street to get their ball or to play with a cute puppy. My 3 and 4 year-old cousins are very well behaved but a four year-old has limited impulse control.

 There are plenty of other dangers on a busy city sidewalk - let's not forget delivery men wheeling crates on handtrucks on the sidewalk, and people who ride their bicycles on the sidewalk, and seeing-impaired people that your child might run onto and harm, and badly trained dogs, and construction sites, and open manhole covers, etc.  

Has anyone here had the seemingly endless argument with a small child about holding hands while you are out on a walk?  Of course you can "win" an argument with a child, but isn't it a nice idea to avoid having the idea of holding hands turn into a battle- holding hands is supposed to be fun and based in affection.

And one forer@ already mentioned the height difference between an adult and a small child - it is no better for an adult to be constantly leaning over to hold onto a childs hand than it is for a child to have their arm held up in the air as a handle for long periods of time. My cousin is 6' 3" tall and his 4 year old and 3 year old children are far less than 3' tall - what should he do - make them ride in a stroller when they want to be walking instead, or strain their arms and develop a hunchback for himself?

If you live somewhere with fewer dangers and obstacles for small children then of course safety reins wouldn't be necessary and may seem unpleasant but consider that not everyone lives where you live but their children want to run around just as much as yours do.


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## alexacohen

Lusitania said:


> Anyway, the thread is on Leashes which are more for pets, if it's about Reins we are talking about another thing, which is riding a child like a horse.
> 
> I agree Alexa that we shouldn't be judgemental but what I don't want is that some day in my country I cannot go for a walk with my children without a leash or I'm a bad parent.
> 
> I have a large, large family and nobody had to wear a leash or was run over by a car. We were all taugh about dangers and there was always an adult looking after us.
> And I don't think that it can be compared to a babies car or babies kangoroos.


Lusitania,
No one, ever, has said that not using leashes/reins or whatever you want to call them, makes anyone a bad parent. 
Each parent know what is better.
I have no doubt there will be some parents that will abuse it, as there will be some parents that will keep their children strapped onto their pushchairs for hours on end. I met parents who took their babies to pubs full of smoke, mind you, without leashes.
My blind friend used leashes with her three children, aged 4,3,2.

I'd like those who said we treat our chlidern like animals to explain how she was going to take her children with her whenever she went our of her home.
Maybe the answer would be to leave the children behind her locked up at home.


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## shoobydoowap

I think they're horrific, but unfortunately I see them every once in a while in my part of the US. Whatever happened to holding your child's hand?


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## Vagabond

alexacohen said:


> Lusitania,
> No one, ever, has said that not using leashes/reins or whatever you want to call them, makes anyone a bad parent.
> Each parent know what is better.
> I have no doubt there will be some parents that will abuse it, as there will be some parents that will keep their children strapped onto their pushchairs for hours on end. I met parents who took their babies to pubs full of smoke, mind you, without leashes.
> My blind friend used leashes with her three children, aged 4,3,2.
> 
> I'd like those who said we treat our chlidern like animals to explain how she was going to take her children with her whenever she went our of her home.
> Maybe the answer would be to leave the children behind her locked up at home.


Of course, your friend has extra reasons to use reins. 

In my understanding, no one said you treat your kids like animals in general, but that a leash is what you put on an animal to take for a walk and not a human being. Perhaps I am wrong. 

On the other hand, people who insist that the only alternative to leashes is kids run over by cars, should perhaps consider that a) they do, in fact, indirectly call parents who don't use the leash "bad parents", and b) unless they can support that argument with data, they are talking out of their - let's just say - imagination.

Checked with my mother, as promised - the leash was not used in Greece when she was a kid either. She didn't get run over by a car. Neither did I. Mind you, I was a very curious child who always wanted to wander around; she just didn't let me.


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## gato2

Estoy totalmente de acuerdo con Vagabond.

Los padres deciden que es lo mejor para sus hijos lo cual no quiere decir que si no usas riendas para tus hijos estas condenandolos a morir atropelllados. Creo que decir lo contrario es un tanto totalitario.


En mi familia eramos cuatro hermanos de edades muy parecidas y todos hemos crecido sin riendas sanos y salvos, lo cual no quiere decir que no haya accidentes.


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## alexacohen

shoobydoowap said:


> I think they're horrific, but unfortunately I see them every once in a while in my part of the US. Whatever happened to holding your child's hand?


 
Oh, I'm a octopuss mother who could push a chair with my one pair of hands and had another extra pair of hands to hold my twins chubby hands too, and another pair of hands to open supermarket doors or whatever.
Certainly I took my children for my dogs and fed them pet food as well.

The whole argument is ridiculous.


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## gato2

alexacohen said:


> Oh, I'm a octopuss mother who could push a chair with my one pair of hands and had another extra pair of hands to hold my twins chubby hands too, and another pair of hands to open supermarket doors or whatever.
> Certainly I took my children for my dogs and fed them pet food as well.
> 
> The whole argument is ridiculous.


 
Cada caso es un mundo y esta bien que utilices riendas para controlar a tus hijos. Eso no quiere decir que todo el mundo tenga que hacer igual  ni que porque no usen riendas se preocupen menos por sus hijos.


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## alexacohen

gato2 said:


> Cada caso es un mundo y esta bien que utilices riendas para controlar a tus hijos. Eso no quiere decir que todo el mundo tenga que hacer igual ni que porque no usen riendas se preocupen menos por sus hijos.


 
Pero gato, ¿quién ha dicho que sean obligatorias? ¿quién ha dicho que los que no las usan son peores padres?

Lo que se ha dicho es que han sido útiles para algunos, otros no las conocen, a otros no les gustan y prefieren otros métodos.

Y de repente saltan con que si los que las usamos, o las hemos usado, tratamos a nuestros hijos como animales. Inapropiado, horrendo, confundimos a nuestros hijos con nuestro perro.

Lo único que pretendo decir es que los que hemos escogido llevar a nuestros hijos de esa manera tenemos todos muy buenas razones para hacerlo. Razones que hemos sopesado pare escoger ese método y no otro.

Como la madre de otro de los foreros, que las usaba para no que no pudiesen perderse en un viaje muy complicado. Como mi padre, que tenía tres hijos que continuamente se escapaban y, evidentemente, no tenía tres manos. Como mi ciega amiga, que no podía verlos. Como yo, que no podía empujar un cochecito de bebé y vigilar a dos niñas de dos años al mismo tiempo.

Decir de todos nosotros que "tratamos a nuestros hijos como a perros" es una falta de respeto total.
Nunca dijimos que si no se llevan los niños con leashes éstos van a morir atropellados. Lo único que dijimos es que nosotros utilizábamos ese método para evitar el riesgo de que se escaparan y cruzaran la calle detrás de un balón, de que se perdieran en una multitud, de que se cayeran y se hicieran daño...
Otros utilizan otro, cada uno el que más le conviene.


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## LaReinita

I must agree with Alexa!! LEASHES/REINS . . whatever you wish to call them . . . are for SAFETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was already in favor of the idea, despite the opinions of others, before I read the post of another forero referring to poor little Jamie Bulgur and this situation CONFIRMS my approval . . . My heart hurts so much right now. God Bless His Soul And His Family. I don't have any children, but I do have a dog, and I have to tell you . . her leash is ONLY for her protection . . I've had nightmares about her getting off the leash and getting run over by a car. If I can have that much fear for the small 4-legged member of my family . . Why is it bad for someone to have the same fears for their child? I must admit that when I was younger I saw people with "leashes" on their children and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Now, as an adult, I understand why it would make some parents feel more secure, because at the end of the day, if you look away for one minute to find the best tomatoes of the group at the grocery store and you turn around and you're child is missing . . . YOU'RE STILL A BAD PARENT! I would much rather be a bad parent with my healthy, thriving child at my side. I'm not saying that parents who do not use them are bad parents, of course not!! My parents didn't use them, but when I was a child, the world was different. But who can call someone a bad parent after they take this extra precautionary step to ensure their child's well being?


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## Lusitania

alexacohen said:


> Lusitania,
> No one, ever, has said that not using leashes/reins or whatever you want to call them, makes anyone a bad parent.
> Each parent know what is better.
> I have no doubt there will be some parents that will abuse it, as there will be some parents that will keep their children strapped onto their pushchairs for hours on end. I met parents who took their babies to pubs full of smoke, mind you, without leashes.
> My blind friend used leashes with her three children, aged 4,3,2.
> 
> I'd like those who said we treat our chlidern like animals to explain how she was going to take her children with her whenever she went our of her home.
> Maybe the answer would be to leave the children behind her locked up at home.


 

Alexa,

The line between abusive and non-abusive behaviour is thin. Of course if I see a blind person putting leashes on their children I would understand. 

I don't want to be judgemental but presently I wouldn't see myself doing it if I had children. I cared for my little cousins and I would go with them every where the youngest is now 2 yo and the oldest 7 and they are sometimes 8! I just explain them the risks and we draw a plan before we leave home.

Of course sometimes they don't obbey. I explain it as many times it's need.

Just because I don't agree it doesn't mean that I'm putting children at risk or that they are going to die or be kidnaped. As we can see usually, usually children have to be more protect from their own parents than from strangers.

L.


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## alexacohen

Lusitania said:


> Alexa,
> I don't want to be judgemental but presently I wouldn't see myself doing it if I had children.
> (...)
> Just because I don't agree it doesn't mean that I'm putting children at risk or that they are going to die or be kidnaped.


Lusitania,

Every parent does what he or she thinks is better for their children.
We were not saying, we never said, we never implied that parents who did not agree, did not like or did not choose to use reins/leashes were bad parents.
It was rather the other way round: the users were accused of treating their children like animals.
And it is not so. There are hundreds of reasons why a parent may decide to use them, as you could read in several posts.

I assumed, and I believe every other poster in this thread did likewise, that we were speaking of parents, not of psychotic abusers.


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## natasha2000

hehehe.... I was lead on a leash when I was about 4-5 year old... My mothers aunt used to take care of me, but she was very old woman, and she couldn't run after me. Needless to say that I was impossible kid, in a blink of an eye, I already was on the tallest three branch, and the only thing she could do is to shout helplessly under it, trying to make me to come down.
So, her sister (also my grandmother's sister) who emigrated to USA, sent her a leash for kids. When my grandmother's aunt went out for the first time with me on a leash, people were schocked. As a matter of fact, when I grew up, I myself have never seen in Serbia something similar, and I think I never will. But nevertheless, I still think in some cases, it can be a very useful thing.

EDIT: By the way, I have just seen the discussion, and I would like to add that everytihing is relative. Some dogs are treated like persons, and some children/people are treated like dogs in this world. The very same expresion "treated like...." insinuate on how one should treat dogs or humans. Should dogs be treated less humanly than humans? Why? And believe me, there ARE children that should be treated with a little bit more firm hand. Putting them on a leash in order to protect him from himself (like my mother's aunt protected me from killing myself by falling from some tree or going under some car).

To how many of you happened that a kid hurt himself being many adults present? Things happen. They just happen. And if it is known that some kid is very likely to hurt himself only because he is careless, why not use the leash for his own sake?


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## Etcetera

I've never seen anything like that in Russia, and never heard about it. 

And it would be really shocking to see something like that. I can't speak for all people in my country, but my first thought would be, probably, that the parents are cruel people who abuse their kid. But if the kid would behave really badly, than I'd probably think that there's something wrong with his/her mind.


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## bfar

I found this while looking for harnesses for my grandkids. Some interesting comments I must say.

I wore a leather harness while tethered in my grandmother's yard during the summer months.Still have a few pictures of me in that harness.Buckled up the back, a 20 ft rope tied  in the back where I couldn't reach it.  Stopped me just short of the street and driveway. It was quite common back in those days(mid 50's). My choice was either play inside or wear the harness outside.I recall quite well that I loved to run and  grandma's house had no fenced yard. I haven't been affected by it other than the stories  she told convinced me that she did the right thing. I guess times have changed so much. Back then there were many kids leashed in the yards as parents did their daily routine. No one thought anything of it. It kept us all safe and we played within our limits. Now I read how terrible it is to use a harness for  kids today. I do believe the world has changed. Back then there was no worry about being kidnapped. The real problem was kids like me running off and not keeping  our boundaries. We left our homes unlocked and we knew all our neighbors. That just doesn't happen today. 
We are taking the grandkids to Disney for Christmas. They are going to wear harnesses for our peace of mind and their safety. Believe me,it's not such a bad thing!


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## alisonp

To my mind, a leash is always attached to a collar, like a dog's, so the thread title shocked me.  But yes, when I was a toddler/pre-school child some 40-plus years ago my parents would use a harness and reins on me sometimes when we went out.  It gave me the perceived freedom to scamper ahead a little bit without the risk of my running into the road or something, plus of course it doesn't necessarily involve fully occupying one hand in holding the child's hand (and if you happen to be exceptionally tall and the child small, I suppose you would end up with a bad back otherwise).

I once had a really bad experience when not on the reins: I got detached from my parents in a crowd for several minutes, and was really scared.  About 10 years ago I went back to the town for the first time since, unwittingly walked round a corner into the street where it had happened, and immediately got a horrible flashback.  I wonder whether my parents only started using the reins after that happened?


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## missro

i agree that they are solely for the safety and sometimes comfort of the child.  it's not about abuse.  i used them with both of my children.  They learned to walk at 10 months old.  that means that they were very tiny.  that means that they would be uncomfortable constantly holding my hand, as would i.  many will agree that once children learn to walk, that's what they want to do, so why not let them?  why keep them bound to a stroller kicking and screaming? i think it would be more questionable to not allow children to walk when they want to.

this: http://www.liberteapparel.com/images/home-pic.jpg is not abuse


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## Angel.Aura

I've never seen anything like leashes, or harnesses, or reins, or whatever you want to call it, here in Italy. I don't even think you can find it in shops. 



shoobydoowap said:


> I think they're horrific, but unfortunately I see them every once in a while in my part of the US. Whatever happened to holding your child's hand?



I tried my best with my son just speaking, looking after, calling or reproaching him from time to time, and yes, holding his hand. 
He's 12, safe and sound, and he's cautious and responsible for his age. Moreover, I didn't need a whip


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## Charlevoix

natasha2000 said:


> hehehe.... I was lead on a leash when I was about 4-5 year old... My mothers aunt used to take care of me, but she was very old woman, and she couldn't run after me. Needless to say that I was impossible kid, in a blink of an eye, I already was on the tallest three branch, and the only thing she could do is to shout helplessly under it, trying to make me to come down.
> So, her sister (also my grandmother's sister) who emigrated to USA, sent her a leash for kids. When my grandmother's aunt went out for the first time with me on a leash, people were schocked. As a matter of fact, when I grew up, I myself have never seen in Serbia something similar, and I think I never will. But nevertheless, I still think in some cases, it can be a very useful thing.
> 
> EDIT: By the way, I have just seen the discussion, and I would like to add that everytihing is relative. Some dogs are treated like persons, and some children/people are treated like dogs in this world. The very same expresion "treated like...." insinuate on how one should treat dogs or humans. Should dogs be treated less humanly than humans? Why? And believe me, there ARE children that should be treated with a little bit more firm hand. Putting them on a leash in order to protect him from himself (like my mother's aunt protected me from killing myself by falling from some tree or going under some car).
> 
> To how many of you happened that a kid hurt himself being many adults present? Things happen. They just happen. And if it is known that some kid is very likely to hurt himself only because he is careless, why not use the leash for his own sake?



Bonjour 
I am living in Canada, more specifically in the province of Québec which is mainly French. Meanwhile, I will use English which seems more familiar to readers here. If somebody from French linguistic area prefers to write in French, I will reply in French. 
It is interesting to note that in Canada, the use of harness is more frequent among English-speaking, mainly those from United Kingdom. Those from French culture like me never used a harness on kids. Maybe because we feel from a long time that everything from Great Brittain is something to be avoided. Because, as you know, any English toddler wears a harness mainly during his/her "terrible two". Also, in USA, harnessing is spreading mainly in Texas. 
Maybe I am wrong but in such a country like United Kingdom where there is no real danger, children are reined. Why ? The true reason is not safety at first but traditions. Once I bought a harness made in 1953 for the Coronation of  Queen Elizabeth II. I feel that the harness is something like the Crown which expresses "traditions". That is why in some parts of Canada or  Australia, harness is a part of any toddler's outfit. This restraining device is also a kind of tool for calming down any boltering or excited child. If properly used, the harness is a kind of pacifier against stress in the child. In many Latin countries like France, Italy, Spain, anxious parents will be prompter to slap the child than in U.K. In other words, in those latter countries, a harness seems to be inhumane but in England, Scotland and even in Denmark or Sweden, which will appear inhumane or babaric is to slap or shouting after a kid. Talking or touching aggressively a child seems to be really cruel. Is it related to Protestant ethic ? Those from those regions could be able to answer. It is a fact that Ehgish children are more quiet at school than in other parts of the world. 
An aspect of leashing which is more and more popular even in Québec is when daycare kids are doing outings tied to a long rope. Nobody will criticize this innovation in  telling  they are like hound dogs. Nobody will discuss this restraining device. It is a fact that with six, eight or more todllers on the sidewalk with just two adults, this is a nice idea for walking exercise, safety and calming down any "little devils". 
About what you said , I know a mother from Normandie in France who leashed her boys like you were. one of them  was so hyperactive that one day his leash felt down and he jumped in a tree. She said: "Fortunately, he was grabbed by his leash to a branch !". As a matter of fact, people criticize her for using a harness with her three boys. She repeatedly answered :"Why don't you help me instead to dictate what I have to do !"
With posts like this one, maybe people around the world will be more tolerant. I really like what is said here  and I hope it will go farter.


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## LuthienMoss

I've only heard these occuring in China!


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## Lingvisten

I've have never seen or heard about such a thing in Denmark. The only thing that comes near to it, is an old lady on my grandfathers street, who, when she was young, tied her kids to the kitchen table when she went to work. I think it would be considered odd in Denmark putting kids on leashes, and you might think the parent was mistaking the kid for dog. I don't doubt that it's for the safety of the child, but to me it just sounds a little strange.


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## Bonjules

Heck, why not. Other doctors refer to Pediatrics frequently 
as 'Veterinary Medicine'.
(Ouch! Not very p.c. here...)


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## Charlevoix

Lingvisten said:


> I've have never seen or heard about such a thing in Denmark. The only thing that comes near to it, is an old lady on my grandfathers street, who, when she was young, tied her kids to the kitchen table when she went to work. I think it would be considered odd in Denmark putting kids on leashes, and you might think the parent was mistaking the kid for dog. I don't doubt that it's for the safety of the child, but to me it just sounds a little strange.



Hello Lingvisten
I agree with you that kids may seldom be reined for outings when they are already able to walk. But it seems that in Sweden, a leather harness like this one made in Denmark is widely used for high chairs or prams, mainly for those called "Silver Cross". 
Maybe what is happening  on the pictures herein are extremely rare but for a two years old child, it can be useful when on  high chairs or prams and also in a camping ground where there is no fence to stop the little explorer. 
For more information, click on pbase and then felix photo 0507 or 0512.

But more and more strollers or prams are now equipped with straps. In Canada, children are not allowed to walk in being outside the pram until they are willing to stay near in holding the pram. 
Maybe this is the best answer to the harness issue. An umbrella stroller is indeed the most usable carrier as I can see in malls. But it need to carry trollers everywhere. With two or three kids...
A word about wrist straps. It is strongly advised against.If the kid is falling down, he has only one hand to protect his/her face. And it is very easy to wean off .


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## Charlevoix

Charlevoix said:


> Hello Lingvisten
> I agree with you that kids may seldom be reined for outings when they are already able to walk. But it seems that in Sweden, a leather harness like this one made in Denmark is widely used for high chairs or prams, mainly for those called "Silver Cross".
> Maybe what is happening  on the pictures herein are extremely rare but for a two years old child, it can be useful when on  high chairs or prams and also in a camping ground where there is no fence to stop the little explorer.
> For more information, click on pbase and then felix photo 0507 or 0512.
> 
> But more and more strollers or prams are now equipped with straps. In Canada, children are not allowed to walk in being outside the pram until they are willing to stay near in holding the pram.
> Maybe this is the best answer to the harness issue. An umbrella stroller is indeed the most usable carrier as I can see in malls. But it need to carry trollers everywhere. With two or three kids...
> A word about wrist straps. It is strongly advised against.If the kid is falling down, he has only one hand to protect his/her face. And it is very easy to wean off .



The easiest way to find those photos is to click  felix and heidi's photo on google and then go to July 2005 page 5 and december page 7.

Thank you


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## Porteño

Josita said:


> Interesting...This is only that I can say bout it,cause in my country something like that is not common.


 
You're absolutely right. My children are Brazilian, but being English, I used reins brought from the UK and frequently got odd looks when walking them around São Paulo. Of course, there were pushchairs and prams which we also used, but the reins were much more practical, especially when shopping or travelling.


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## Charlevoix

In eading you, it gave me some insights.
Just suppose that instead of being alone with your reined kids, there are many parents who will be  doing the same thing as you at the same time. This cultural shock from outsiders will instantly vanish. 
The leash issue is exactly the same as it was some years ago when some children began to get orthodontics. Personally, I felt pity for this poor child having to wear such a brace in his/her mouth. On today, nobody notice that because they are many to wear such an aid.  That is the same with leashes. In United Kingdom, there are so many kids on reins that nobody notice them. 
So, if you believe that reining your child is a must while living in a country where seldom kids are on reins,  talk about that with friends having children and go on outings in group. Be sure nobody will try to insult you. The more children will be seen enjoyed while wearing their leashes, the more you will feel at ease in doing what is more appropriate for your children and you. I mean: safety.
As a loving mother, you don't want your child be looked ridiculised. You cannot do something different from others if you are alone to face social pressure. Everything new is always threatening. Alas ! How many parents will put this so-called instrument of torture  in a drawer after a first attempt because they are scaring to be perceived as mad.


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## Einstein

I vaguely remember my mother putting reins on me when I was a very small child. It certainly didn't make me suffer! As many others have said, for the child the alternative to reins is not running free but being held by the hand. This gives far less freedom of movement to the child (and to the parent). Reins (fixed round the body, so leaving the hands free) can seem cruel only to those who have no real experience of them.


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