# euphemisms for using the toilet



## Alunarada

Maneras particulares, divertidas, curiosas y/o personales (cursis también) de decir "Voy al baño" 
Cómo lo dices tu?

Empezaré con algunos ejemplos:

"Plantar un pino"
"ir a hablar con Roca"


Particular, funny, peculiar and/or personal (prudish too) ways of saing "I'm going to the restroom/loo/toilet"
How do you say it?


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## Mei

Bienvenida al foro, Alunarada!!!! 

Buff... se me ocurren unas cuantas...

¿Condolenzza, puedo ir al baño? (lo siento, no lo he podido evitar... )
Voy al lavabo.
Voy a hacer necesidades.
Voy a echar los troncos al rio.
Regar la maceta.
Voy a despedir un amigo.
Voy a liberar a Willy.
Voy a sacarme un peso de encima.
...

¿Es esto lo que querías?

Saludos

Mei


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## Carlston

promete ser un post hilo muy "fino", asi que contribuire

Voy al excusado

saludos


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## Roi Marphille

Mei said:
			
		

> Bienvenida al foro, Alunarada!!!!
> 
> Buff... se me ocurren unas cuantas...
> 
> ¿Condolenzza, puedo ir al baño? (lo siento, no lo he podido evitar... )
> Voy al lavabo.
> Voy a hacer necesidades.
> Voy a echar los troncos al rio.
> Regar la maceta.
> Voy a despedir un amigo.
> Voy a liberar a Willy.
> Voy a sacarme un peso de encima.
> ...
> 
> ¿Es esto lo que querías?
> 
> Saludos
> 
> Mei


 
voy a cambiar el/la agua del canario!


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## belén

En el foro de español se ha hablado bastante de este tema. Os dejo unos hilos:

Aquí hay uno. Aquí hay otro


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## GenJen54

"I'm going to go powder my nose" is a particular favorite of mine!  Saludos.


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## nycphotography

In english:

take a leak
recycle some beer
water the garden

"Hablar con Roca" (I'm assuming that Roca is a toilet manufacturer in Spanish the same as in Portugal) in english would be "talk on the big phone (talk to the toilet)" which means throw up, not pee.

I find it quite amusing that Roca Wear (a hip hop fashion label) is really plumber or toilet wear.  haha


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## BasedowLives

to answer natures call


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## GenJen54

This one is for men only, and is a bit crude. It should not be used except among the most closest of friends. It would even be inappropriate with family, I think. 

  to drain the snake


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## gotitadeleche

In the USA we euphemistically refer to the toilet rooms as the little boys' room and little girls' room, even when we are adults.

"I've got to go to the little girls' room."


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## fenixpollo

My favorite: I've got to see a man about a horse.


			
				GenJen54 said:
			
		

> to drain the snake


Also known as "the weasel" or "the main vein".


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## Fernando

As everybody knows, it is fully unnecesary to tell when did you exactly go when you go 'there'. 

If I am eating with somebody else and I stand up, everybody knows 'where' I go.


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## Alundra

Fernando said:
			
		

> As everybody knows, it is fully unnecesary to tell when did you exactly go when you go 'there'.
> 
> If I am eating with somebody else and I stand up, everybody knows 'where' I go.


 
And you go away without to say nothing???  

Alundra.


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## fenixpollo

Yes, Fer, you should at least tell us where you are going so that we can wish you well and say "I hope everything comes out OK."


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## Fernando

I see I am among people with no manners.

I simply say 'Excuse me'. When I return nobody is interested in who, when, how and why I did it. No comments about the quality, nor the size, not questions about how many liters, the density...

You, plebeians...

PS: Dammed Robespierre!


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## Alundra

Ahhhhh....

I use to say: Voy a hacer un pisito... 

Alundra.


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## Mita

Mmm... jejeje  éstos son los que se me ocurren:

*Voy al baño.* 
Voy al servicio.
Voy a hacer mis necesidades.
Voy al pipi-room.
*Voy a hacer pipí.* 
Voy a hacer pis.
Voy a hacer pichí/pishí. 
*Voy a echar la corta. *
*Voy a mear. *
*Voy a hacer caca. *
Voy a hacer cacuca.
Voy a cagar. 
*Voy a liberar a Willy.*
*Voy al trono.*
*Voy a mi/la oficina.*

Las que están en negrita son las que uso habitualmente (en especial "voy al baño"); las que están en morado son las que uso en broma, para jugar, y las que tienen una flecha son vulgares.

Saludos,


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## foxfirebrand

I love the graphic expressions, but I agree that you wouldn't get up from your table in a fine restaurant and tell your companions, "Scuse me, I've gotta go pinch a loaf."  

But publicly stuffing food in the _other_ end of the alimentary canal-- and you won't raise the slightest _frisson_ of disapproval.

I hope you've all seen Buñuel's hilarious film "The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie."  In it, a decorous gathering is taking place, looks like a dinner party-- but the "seats" around the table are toilet seats.  One of the guests looks a little embarrassed.  Afflicted by hunger pangs, he excuses himself politely and goes to the "convenience," a bathroom-like room where he sits, as if at a toilet-- but a dumb-waiter partition in the wall slides up, exposing a dinner serving the host has thoughtfully provided.  He eats what looks like a portion of meatloaf with a side of _haricots verts_, putting off slightly furtive vibes.

I forget whether he uses a cute euphemism for "excuse me, which way to the dining room?"  After he's satisfied his biological need for nutriment, he returns to the party where the others are cheerfully and openly doing their "business."

What a difference a loaf makes!
.


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## VenusEnvy

foxfirebrand said:
			
		

> but I agree that you wouldn't get up from your table in a fine restaurant and tell your companions, "Scuse me, I've gotta go pinch a loaf."


Oh, dear goodness me....

I usually simply say:
_I'll be right back.
I'll be back in a jiff.
I'm going to the restroom.
I'm going to go to the ladies' room._



Even with close friends, I've actually never used the more vulgar suggestions given by foreros.  Curious...


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## BasedowLives

> I love the graphic expressions, but I agree that you wouldn't get up from your table in a fine restaurant and tell your companions, "Scuse me, I've gotta go pinch a loaf."



i'm sorry, but this made me spit out my drink from laughing so hard...


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## InmayHugo

Tengo una super guarra
"Voy a ca' garcía"
(ca' es como antes se decía casa)
a mi me hace "mearme" de risa
y entre los colegas, en vez de decir "plantar un pino" decimos "plantar un abedul" que es un árbol todavía más grande.
Inma


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## cirrus

It is wierd how some people think it is alright to not say anything.  If someone did this and we were eating out I would think it was rude.

This can also come up at work - if you are from the north people wouldn't bat an eyelid (wouldn't be at all suprised) if you said I am going to the toilet whereas down south if someone calls on the phone people will say x is in a meeting, whereas we'd say x has gone to the loo/ toilet particularly if it is a smaller place where people don't pretend we aren't all human beings.


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## Fernando

Although my previous comment was for kidding, in a formal context I do not feel the urgent need to say where I am going. I only need to say "¿Me perdonáis un momento?" o "Con permiso" and I simply stand up. Everybody assumes where I am going.


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## luar

Sometimes I say:  Excuse me, I have to do something that no one can do for me.


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## Mei

Voy a desahogarme.
Para los que tiene la autoestima por los suelos "Voy a sacar lo mejor de mi"


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## madsum

Voy a cambiar el agua a los garbanzos.


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## InmayHugo

Muy bueno, Mei muy bueno.
Mi madre cuando éramos pequeñas y vovíamos del baño nos preguntaba:
"¿has hecho un pisito o un chalet?
Por aquel entonces la vivienda no era tan cara, jeje


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## clipper

"Going to point Percy at the porcelain" has a good sound to it.............


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## swift_precision

gotitadeleche said:
			
		

> In the USA we euphemistically refer to the toilet rooms as the little boys' room and little girls' room, even when we are adults.
> 
> "I've got to go to the little girls' room."


 
I don't know of any heterosexual male who says "im goin to the little boys room" Usually this expresssion is said by women not by guys. (i.e, girl's room)


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## Edher

Saludos,

       How about, "I'm going to take care of some physiological necessities."

It's decieving because it sounds more serious than it really is, and some people may not really know what you're talking about, but you feel as though you have excused yourself.


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## Benjy

swift_precision said:
			
		

> I don't know of any heterosexual male who says "im goin to the little boys room" Usually this expresssion is said by women not by guys. (i.e, girl's room)



crap. now everyone will *know* that i'm gay.


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## swift_precision

Benjy said:
			
		

> crap. now everyone will *know* that i'm gay.


 
lol well at least where I'm from I don't hear that expression used by guys--not even in the most formal of circumstances.


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## Roi Marphille

Benjy said:
			
		

> crap. now everyone will *know* that i'm gay.


Well, I don't know if you are really a gay..but following that posted "hint" by Benjy, I'd lead to think that you are *rather* an undercovered secret lady CIA-agent or something...


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## gotitadeleche

swift_precision said:
			
		

> lol well at least where I'm from I don't hear that expression used by guys--not even in the most formal of circumstances.




Hummm...You may be right. I'm trying to remember if I have ever heard a guy  actually say it.




> Originally Posted by Benjy
> crap. now everyone will *know* that i'm gay.




LOL    !!!!


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## paulita

Esta no es una forma correcta, pero es graciosa, la ´solían decir mucho los varones:
"Voy a cambiarle el agua a las aceitunas"


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## manana

Hola,

Algunas de las que uso:

-Voy a las casitas
-Necesito meditar un rato
-Voy a confesarme
-¡Tengo que hacer un trámite urgente!!   (cuando no aguantas más)
- ¡Voy y vuelvo!! (cuando no tengo confianza y no quiero que me pregunten nada)


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## JazzByChas

basedowlives said:
			
		

> foxfirebrand said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I love the graphic expressions, but I agree that you wouldn't get up from your table in a fine restaurant and tell your companions, "Scuse me, I've gotta go pinch a loaf."
> 
> 
> 
> i'm sorry, but this made me spit out my drink from laughing so hard...
Click to expand...

 
I must agree....ROTFLMAO!!! 

I've also heard:

"I need to make my bladder gladder"
"I'm having a moving conversation with Mr. Loo"
"I need to donate to the cause..."
"I've gotta hit the head..."
"I've gotta go pay my water bill..."
"Excuse me, I need to have a talk with Uncle John"
"What's that...? ...oh that's Mother Nature calling..."

...ad nauseum


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## cirrus

gotitadeleche said:
			
		

> Hummm...You may be right. I'm trying to remember if I have ever heard a guy actually say it.
> 
> quote]
> 
> I have heard gay men say it. In gay clubs often men use the women's toilets - more space and often that's where you get your party chemicals (so I'm told).


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## JazzByChas

cirrus said:
			
		

> gotitadeleche said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Hummm...You may be right. I'm trying to remember if I have ever heard a guy actually say it.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I have heard gay men say it. In gay clubs often men use the women's toilets - more space and often that's where you get your party chemicals (so I'm told).
Click to expand...

 
Wouldn't know anything about gay mens clubs...never been in them. 

Would think that gay men would go to the "little girls room," at least according to "Will and Grace" (popular television comedy about a gay man and his "hag" (female roomate))


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## fenixpollo

swift_precision said:
			
		

> I don't know of any heterosexual male who says "im goin to the little boys room"


 I'll go on record as having heard this used by men who are comfortable with their sexuality/masculinity... although often said in an ironic, playful tone.

If we're going to start adding euphemisms for #2 as well as #1, then let me offer "I'm going to drop the kids off at the pool."


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## swift_precision

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> ... although often said in an ironic, playful tone.


 
Exactly.  As I said, if a guy wanted to be serious, he would just say "i gotta go the bathroom" or some other expression but it would never be "I got to go to the little boy's room" even if he is comfortable in his masculinity.  It's just something that is said by girls as is the "I gotta go powder my nose" bit--although the latter expression I only hear amoung women over the age of 35 or somethin..lol


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## timpeac

This thread and FFB's post reminded me of this French joke from another thread about bathrooms and euphemistic phrases thereof -

- Michel, si tu étais en train de faire la cour à une jeune fille de bonne famille très bien éduquée pendant un dîner en tête à tête et que tu avais besoin d'aller aux toilettes que dirais-tu ?
- Attend-moi une seconde, je vais pisser un coup.
- Ça serait très grossier et très malpoli de ta part. Jean comment dirais-tu ?
- Je m'excuse mais il faut que j'aille aux toilettes, mais je reviens tout de suite.
- C'est déjà mieux, mais c'est désagréable de mentionner les toilettes pendant les repas. Et toi Toto, tu serais capable d'utiliser ton intelligence, au moins pour une fois, pour démontrer tes bonnes manières ?
- Je dirais "Ma chère, je vous demande pardon de m'absenter un moment, je m'en vais de ce pas tendre la main à un ami intime que j'espère pouvoir vous présenter après le dîner".

In Eng -

Teacher - Michel, if you were wooing a well educated young lady of good family during an intimate diner and you had to use the loo, what would you say?
- Wait a mo, I've got to go piss.
- That would be very rude and very unpolite of you. Jean, what would you say?
- I'm sorry but I must use the toilet. I'll be right back.
- It's certainly better, but it's not nice to use the word toilet during dinner. And you Toto, could you use your intelligence, at least for once, to show your good manners?
- I would say "My dear, I kindly ask your permission to leave you for a moment. I am going to shake hands with a dear dear friend, to whom I hope to be able to introduce you after dinner".
__________________


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## Eugens

I understand that "I've gotta go pinch a loaf" is a euphemism for going to the bathroom, but what would it be its literal translation into Spanish? "Tengo que robar un pan"? "Tengo que pellizcar un pan"?


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## timpeac

Eugens said:
			
		

> I understand that "I've gotta go pinch a loaf" is a euphemism for going to the bathroom, but what would it be its literal translation into Spanish? "Tengo que robar un pan"?


 
I think it is in the literal sense of "pinch" so pellizcar, or whatever would be appropriate to what you would do to dough.


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## Eugens

Thank you, Timpeac.


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## araceli

Un clásico: Voy a peinarme.


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## ElenaofTroy

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> If we're going to start adding euphemisms for #2 as well as #1, then let me offer "I'm going to drop the kids off at the pool."


 
Hey! You made me laugh too  loud and I woke up my kids!!!  

a very common way to say it in Mexico is:

¡"Ahorita" vengo, voy al baño! (A friend from Venezuela told me that she would feel she was arriving to Mexico since she started hearing all the diminutives spoken by the flight attendants in the plane!)


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## boelo

I go a "potje poepen" (Dutch)


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## nycphotography

I gotta go hunt the red october
I gotta go u-boat hunting
visit the porcelain palace (beware other meaning in USA ref: white castle)
sitting on the throne
catching up on my reading
drop a load

Ok, I'm sure thats more than anyone really wanted.


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## E-J

A friend of mine likes to announce his departure from the dinner table with the picturesque "I've got to lay a cable."

"I'm going to park a pint" is another one.


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## Quebar

voy a regar las plantas, voy a tirar los niños a la piscina,


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## nikvin

Excuse me I need to go spend a penny

from years ago when public toilets cost 1 penny to use , OLd english pennies 1d!!


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## Chaska Ñawi

And from old farmers in rural Ontario:

I've got to check the line fence

I'm going to visit the back forty

I've got to see a man about a horse (previously mentioned here)

I'm going out back


A friend of mine bought his farmhouse in the early 70's, didn't particularly like the idea of visiting the outhouse in January, and installed indoor plumbing.  His next-door neighbour, an old bachelor who hadn't even electrified his own farmhouse, let alone put in a bathroom, was frankly disgusted and horrified.  He exclaimed, "You don't mean you're going to piss AND shit AND fart right in the middle of your house!"


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## Setwale_Charm

GenJen54 said:


> "I'm going to go powder my nose" is a particular favorite of mine! Saludos.


 
 If heard from a man this might be considered slightly over-"euphimistic".  So one has to remark as in the case with draining the snake , there should be a separate list for men and women in the case of an expression like this.


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## cuchuflete

For the cruder folks...



Gonna go drown a rat.


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## msalmog

Hi,

Really Great! Thank you all!

Almog


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## Ray_of_light

Have you ever heard about this expression?  _To make/ to do the second_


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## liond10

a couple of good ones:

_drop a deuce _
(_deuce_ meaning "turd")

_drop trou
(trou_ is a shortening of "trousers")
--This term is usually used when referring to peeing on the side of a building or on a tree, not in a toilet


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## liond10

You must be referring to "number one" (peeing) and "number two" (pooping)



Ray_of_light said:


> Have you ever heard about this expression?  _To make/ to do the second_


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

clipper said:


> "Going to point Percy at the porcelain"


 


nycphotography said:


> recycle some beer


 


foxfirebrand said:


> "Scuse me, I've gotta go pinch a loaf."


 


cuchuflete said:


> Gonna go drown a rat.


 
LOL! Man, I've laughed so much with all of these that I almost "dropped my soda on my pants"... 

The ones I know:
For Nº1:
-Hacer charquitos.
-Hablar con un viejo amigo (men, only)
-Jugar carnaval (during carnivals, kids play with water and wet everybody around, so...  )
-Darle agua a la gata (women, only)
-Ir a miácata (no comments...)
-Ir a pagar la luz (like "pay my light bill", no idea of why...)

For Nº2:
-Echar los leños al río.
-Perfumar la casa. (How gross!!)
-Quitarse un peso.
-Sentarse en el trono.
-Ir a los 500 huequitos.
-Hacer algo que nadie puede hacer por mí.
-Practicar yoga.
-Recogerse en los aposentos.
-Doblar las rodillas.

There are more, but I just can't remember now... 

Oh, and if you want to ask for the bathroom, you can say:
-Me prestas tu "gue cé"? ("gue cé" being some sort of derivation from WC...)
-Puedo pasar al cuarto más chiquito de la casa?
-Me permites los aposentos reales? (por aquello del trono, supongo...)


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## choclatemilkontherox

In America, we say "I'm going to use the ladies room." or "They went to the restroom." Even saying "the bathroom" is quite informal in front of polite company. I know in France, the room for taking a bath and the room in which the toilet is located are different so they specifically ask to use the toilet. 

Is there a polite way of saying that you are going to the toilet in your country? If not, what do you say?


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## Outsider

The polite phrase in Portugal translates as "going to the bathroom", or "going to the bathhouse" (a remnant from the days when bathrooms were outside the house).


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## Argónida

Here we say "ir al baño" or "ir al servicio". Both are quite polite.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

In France, you could say you want to go to « the little corner ». 
(le petit coin)


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## Nicomon

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> In France, you could say you want to go to « the little corner ».
> (le petit coin)


 
Same thing in Quebec.


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## Etcetera

In Russia, you can say something like "I'll go out for a minute".
No "euphemisms" for toilet like "ladies' room" exist in Russian, so, if you are looking for it in a mall or a cinema, you'll have to ask where the toilet is.


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## Trisia

Ummm, Romanians tend to be very, very awkward about this. We invented lots of weird ways of saying that, especially in the rural parts.

One of them is: "I'll just go visit *V*ecinul *C*ostică for a bit"  (_Costică _is a name, _vecinul _=  neigbour). It's basically a play on words. We pronounce VC just like we would WC.

I could mention others, but they'd be rather offensive so I'll get back to you on that


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## domangelo

There are a multitude of ways to say it in English. I'm going to the loo, the john, the head are common. Then there are silly expressions, like going "to the little girls' room" or "going to see a man about a horse". Women sometimes go to the powder room. One word you won't hear, at least not in AE, is WC - it hasn't been used in 50 years. But I believe that I just saw it on a sign at Waterloo Station in London, so I guess it's still current in Britain.


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## zooz

> is there a *polite *version of saying that you are using the toilet in your counrty?


No there's not really a polite version in Syria; it just depends on the way one might say it. Ironically, a synonym of toilet is the word _Adab _which means _politeness _in English. So the version of that sentence would be: I'm going to the politeness .

BTW, toilet in Arabic is Hammam.


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## Lello4ever

In Italian we usually say "Vado in bagno" (bagno=toilet)


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## zooz

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> In France, you could say you want to go to « the little corner ».
> (le petit coin)



I heard this version, and _je m'absente_.
(I'm going to absent myself)


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## heidita

In German, always so shy and well-spoken, we don't use the word toilet at all, if we are in company. We say: I have to go out. (austreten). This word atuomatically implies you go to the toilet, but the word itself is not mentioned. 

I heard somebody say:

I go to the_ head_..is common in Britain. Never heard that one. Why head?

May I ask a question here? Do you feel uncomfortable when somebody mentions the loo, like, say, in a restaurant?

Why not simply say: Can you excuse me, please? (same in German , by the way)


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## domangelo

the head is a nautical term. That's what it's called on a boat. But I don't know why.


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## gaer

choclatemilkontherox said:


> In America, we say "I'm going to use the ladies room." or "They went to the restroom." Even saying "the bathroom" is quite informal in front of polite company.


I assume you are referring to situations other than in someone's home. There "may I use your bathroom" doesn't sound at all awkward.

In other situations, I agree with you. 

Gaer


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## The Scrivener

heidita said:


> I heard somebody say:
> 
> I go to the_ head_..is common in Britain. Never heard that one. Why head?


 
See here for "the head", Heidita.

Only the ship's captain had his own private lavatory, near his quarters, on the poop deck!


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## gaer

The Scrivener said:


> See here for "the head", Heidita.
> 
> Only the ship's captain had his own private lavatory, near his quarters, on the poop deck!


Only the ship's captain had his own private lavatory, near his quarters, on the _*poop*_ deck!

What a strange language English is.


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## The Scrivener

gaer said:


> Only the ship's captain had his own private lavatory, near his quarters, on the _*poop*_ deck!
> 
> What a strange language English is.


 
Indeed it is, gaer.

The name originates from the French word (_la poupe_) for stern, so the poop deck is the stern deck - *at the rear end! *


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## Trisia

I remember hearing a French lady say something like "Je vais à la parfumerie". Obviously a joke about the "eau de toilette".


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## IDEJA

In Serbian, using the slang, u can say (I go to make a phone call ) )

But normally, you can say whatever you want 

"idem na wc" (i go to the toilet)
"odmah se vracam" (ill be right back)
"idem do toaleta" (i go to the toilet)
etc etc

anyway, yes_ there is always "a polite version" lol


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Trisia said:


> I remember hearing a French lady say something like "Je vais à la parfumerie". Obviously a joke about the "eau de toilette".


This one (I never heard) make me think of the old phrase "je vais me repoudrer le nez" (I'm going to fix my makeup), which could be a blatant lie.


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## federicoft

In Italian, when you have to ask where is the toilet in a house you are a guest, you would usually say: where can I wash my hands?


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## Etcetera

federicoft said:


> In Italian, when you have to ask where is the toilet in an house you are a guest, you would usually say: where can I wash my hands?


That wouldn't work in most houses in Russia, where bath and toilet are in different rooms...


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## LaReinita

Etcetera said:


> That wouldn't work in most houses in Russia, where bath and toilet are in different rooms...


 
---So you can't wash your hands directly after you have used the bathroom??????? OMG!!! In my house, it's forbidden to even flush the toilet with the lid open and you must ALWAYS . . ALWAYS wash your hands before you leave the bathroom!! I always know!!! (especially when the sink is still dry . . . don't try to lie to me) My nephew has already tried!!!


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## ColdomadeusX

There's plenty of ways to say that you need to go to the toilet-

I need to use the loo.
I gotta run for the dunny.
I need to use the bathroom.
I've gotta go to the toilet.
I've gotta take a piss.

plenty more....
But basically, it's whatever you feel comfortable saying. Because there are so many ways to say the one thing, it's not really considered embarrassing or anything like that when one asks in a way that is less commonly used.


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## Etcetera

LaReinita said:


> ---So you can't wash your hands directly after you have used the bathroom??????? OMG!!! In my house, it's forbidden to even flush the toilet with the lid open and you must ALWAYS . . ALWAYS wash your hands before you leave the bathroom!! I always know!!! (especially when the sink is still dry . . . don't try to lie to me) My nephew has already tried!!!


But where's the problem? You just leave the toilet and go to the bathroom and wash your hands. It's as simple as that.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Etcetera said:


> But where's the problem? You just leave the toilet and go to the bathroom and wash your hands. It's as simple as that.


Bath and toilet are in different rooms in France too, but usually you can find at least a lavabo (a basin) to wash your hands into the toilet...
You can also say: « J'aimerais utiliser vos commodités » (I would like to use your convenience (?). Quite posh indeed...)


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## gOgO

choclatemilkontherox said:


> I know in France, the room for taking a bath and the room in which the toilet is located are different so they specifically ask to use the toilet.
> 
> Is there a polite way of saying that you are going to the toilet in your country? If not, what do you say?



Saying "*I'm going to the toilets*" in France does'nt seem to be a rude sentence to me.

However, if you want to be more polite, you can say : 

*Où sont les cabinets ?
Where are the closet ?* 

And even more formal : 

*Pouvez-vous m'indiquer les latrines
Could you tell me where the "latrines" are ?
*
(but the last one is very rare)


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## LaReinita

Etcetera said:


> But where's the problem? You just leave the toilet and go to the bathroom and wash your hands. It's as simple as that.


 
Because in order to exit the bathroom, you will have to touch the doorknob to leave that room and then touch another one to enter another room.  That's a lot of germs, especially since men actually hold their thing.  Yuck!  I read this article about germs and many people do not bother washing their hands at all and it said in the office you "touch" on the average, about 14 penises per day.

But in the US, not even between friends, would we say "I have to go to the toilet" . . Between friends:  I gotta pee, I gotta go to the bathroom

In public:

I have to go to the Ladies' Room

Or simply:

Excuse me, for a moment, I'll be right back!


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## heidita

LaReinita said:


> That's a lot of germs, especially since men actually hold *their thing*. Yuck!


 
I did love the thing part!


> I read this article about germs and many people do not bother washing their hands at all and it said in the office you "touch" on the average, about 14 penises per day.


 
Perfectly true. I was rather surprised at signs on the toilets of restaurants in NY: "Waiters/staff MUST wash hands". Apparently not so natural for many people.




> Excuse me, for a moment, I'll be right back!


That's what I thought would be more accepted. 

In any case, in Spain a quite natural thing to say, even among not very well known people, is "Me voy a hacer un pis". Jesus! That sounds really bad to me! It must be the reference to "piss" itself. I wonder. In German "pissen" is a rather ugly word for _pee_.


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## LaReinita

heidita said:


> I did love the thing part!
> 
> Perfectly true. I was rather surprised at signs on the toilets of restaurants in NY: "Waiters/staff MUST wash hands". Apparently not so natural for many people.
> 
> 
> That's what I thought would be more accepted.
> 
> In any case, in Spain a quite natural thing to say, even among not very well known people, is "Me voy a hacer un pis". Jesus! That sounds really bad to me! It must be the reference to "piss" itself. I wonder. In German "pissen" is a rather ugly word for _pee_.


 

Yes, my friend's family was here visiting from another country and she asked me when I returned from the bathroom  "You just went to piss?"  I was shocked for a second before I realized what she had just said.  It sounded rude to me although I know that was not her intention.


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## dijw

My favorite, although not a well known one, is "I'm going to to Ed Vaca's Office."

This is from the knobs you turn on airplane bathrooms and some other public toilets that say  "Vacant" or "Occupied."  If not turned all the way, the last 2 letters of Occupied are visible, as are the first 4 of vacant. 

Children of course have their own vocabulary for the bathroom -- generally in my house they "went potty."


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## timpeac

dijw said:


> "went potty."


"To go potty" here means "to go mad" (actually, as I write that I realise you don't say that either do you - "to go insane" I mean!). The circular variations of English around the world never cease to amaze and amuse me.


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## curly

My brother goes "fireman wee" several times a day.


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## frankytowers

I personally enjoy saying "I'm going to go give birth to a politician." That usually gets some laughs with my friends.


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## kirsitn

In Norway it's perfectly okay and normal to ask where the toilet is or say that you need to go to the toilet. (And I hope it stays that way! I think this kind of euphemism is a really silly thing, considering that going to the toilet is a perfectly natural thing that everyone does every day.) We might say "I need to powder my nose", but only jokingly.

If someone asked me (in Norwegian) where they could wash their hands, I would point them to the bathroom, where there is no toilet. (Yes, I do have a wash basin next to the toilet as well, but the one in the bathroom is bigger and nicer.)


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## Guachipem

Entre mis amigos decimos "voy a llorar" o "voy al baño a llorar", pero es algo inventado por nosotros, no es algo de uso frecuente.


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## Outsider

belén said:


> En el foro de español se ha hablado bastante de este tema. Os dejo unos hilos:
> 
> Aquí hay uno. Aquí hay otro


Otro aquí.


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## MarX

In *Indonesian:*

ke belakang = go to the back


In* German:*

verschwinden = disappear


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## sound shift

An old British euphemism is
_I need to spend a penny.

_I presume it derives from the public facilities with a door that was opened by putting a penny in the slot.


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## HUMBERT0

Another we use in México is:
Voy a donde te conté. (I´m going to where I told you)


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## kusurija

In Czech: ..it's OK if you don't use eufemisms. But eufemisms are often used and they are very variable. 
Jdu natrhat konvalinky (I'm going to gather/cull the lilly_of_the_valey)
Jdu si odskočit (I'm going to jump_away)
Jdu si odlehčit (I'm going to diminute my weight)
and little less polite:
Jdu trůnit (??verb..?? trůn=throne)
Jdu položit kabel (I'm going to lay a cable)
If asking the room:
Kde je ona místnost?/Kde najdu onu místnost? (Where is/can I find/ THAT room). 
To ask the bathroom/washroom is not practical, because most often those rooms are in different places (of course, often a very little washbasin is in toilet, but you'll be directed to wash hands to bathroom, not to toilet).

In Lithuanian:
Einu pas nykštukus..(I'm going to visit dwarfs)
Einu nusilengvint. (I'm going to diminute my weight)
If asking the room:
Kur čia/pas Jus/ gera vieta? (where here is the good place?)
(simply, without eufem.): Kur tualetas?


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Only said by men, and more heard in South of France I assume: « Je vais changer l'eau des olives ! » (I'm going to change the water of the olives!).


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## Mate

Regarding olives, see post #35:

_Esta no es una forma correcta, pero es graciosa, la ´solían decir mucho los varones:_
_"Voy a cambiarle el agua a las aceitunas"_


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Mateamargo said:


> [...]
> _"Voy a cambiarle el agua a las aceitunas"_


Aha. Maybe it's merely the French translation of the Spanish one, then?
This could explain it's more heard in South of France (closer to Spain)...
I find this one very graphic.

I searched this thread the word "olives" and got no results... didn't think of "aceitunas".


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## Nanon

My grandmother's own euphemism was: _"Tu as pris tes précautions" (did you take your precautions)?
_I am not sure I ever heard it from anybody else, though.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Nanon said:


> My grandmother's own euphemism was: _"Tu as pris tes précautions" (did you take your precautions)?
> _I am not sure I ever heard it from anybody else, though.


We must be cousin Nanon, as mine used this very euphemism too.  (that is to say it's more widely used than you thought)
But it was only before travelling when I would be out of view of any proper toilet during some time...


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## avok

Hi,

In Turkish we have "00"  (sıfır,sıfır : zero,zero) - or the number a hundred- to mean the toilets.


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## swift

In Costa Rica:



Voy a la oficina. (I'm going to the office).
Voy a la oficina de asuntos interiores. (I'm going to the Department of the Interior).
Enviarle un fax al presidente. (I'm going to send a fax to the President).
Sentarse en el trono. (To sit on the throne).
Cambiarle el agua al pajarito. (To change the canary's water).


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## KHALIFAH

voy a cambiarle el agua a la bestia......


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## Mate

*Moderator note*:

This was a good thread in its time, but it is now somewhat antiquated. The forum has changed, the rules for Cultural Discussions have changed, and it is time for this thread to retire.



> *Do not start or answer threads*
> 
> - that could be answered by a simple yes or no;
> - that ask for help with homework or research;
> - that deal with romance, love, cooking, sports, literature, film, music or television;
> - that discuss or invite discussion of stereotypes, generalities, prejudices;
> - *that invite lists* of your favourite book, song, movie, recipe, actor, politician, etc.
> - that ask for personal advice on any topic.



Thanks to all for your contributions.

*Thread closed.*


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