# telephone calls



## Joca

Is it a pattern in your country, when you make a call, to ask the other party "Who is speaking?" rather than saying to them the more usual "May I speak to...?" ?
Is the former - who is speaking? - acceptable or thought to be rude? Or does it depend on the context?


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## enoo

In France, the general rule is "may I speak to...", if you are calling a place where more than one person can answer. 
I think that in that context, "who is speaking?" may sound a bit rude.

I guess that one would use "who is speaking?" only if someone calls somebody he knows (e.g. on a cellphone), and the voice that answer is *not* the expected voice/the voice of the person called.


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## federicoft

In Italy asking who is speaking when making a call would be definitely considered rude. 
The person who has made the call is expected to say his name first. If he refuses to do so it's unlikely that the conversation can go on.


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## nzaballa

In Argentina, just like in Italy, it is also considered very rude. If you made the call, and ask the other person "who is speaking" you will probably get a very rude answer such as "well you called, you tell me who you want to speak to".

I think -and this is my solely opinion - that this is because of the social situation here, and when it comes to reveal personal data to strangers, we tend to react very violently.


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## ireney

Same in Greece. Even when you think you might have dialed the wrong number you are not supposed to ask such a question. You may skip the mentioning of your name (which is the standard) and go right to the "may I speak" part in these cases but asking "who's speaking" will in all probability get you a very rude response. Best case scenario a curt "Who are _you_ ?", worst case scenario something rude and then that person hanging up on you (a quite rude thing to do, usually, often a studied, or at least conscious, insult).


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## danielfranco

Both in the U.S.A. and in Mexico, the "who is this?" question is a sign of either a teenager or a child who have little experience with all the social niceties (even if they have been taught by their parents), or an adult with bad manners.

I remember growing up and being drilled by my parents in the proper formalities on the phone: "Good morning/day/evening/night, my name is so-and-so, may I please speak to what's-his-name? Thank you." Still, I'm sure I spent the first twenty years of my life asking "who is this?" instead of following the proper formula.

Nowdays I text SMS, tweet, or email instead.

D


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## Kevin Beach

In Britain, we don't call somebody up and say "who is speaking?" On the contrary, it would be the person who was being called who would say that.

The normal greeting, if you didn't immediately recognise the voice of the person who answered, would be "Hello. May I speak to XXX please?" Of course, there are many variants on that, depending on the caller's normal language register.


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## ewie

I concur with Kevin Beach ~ and everyone else, for that matter.

You haven't told us what the practice is in Brazil, Joca


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## mirx

I would only agree with DanielFranco.

In México more than good/bad manners, asking "who is speaking" is an inequivocal sign that a child, or a someone who isn't used to telephones, is calling. This is the thing I would expect my grandmother to do, if she ever dared pick up a phone.

So no, it is not rude per se but rather lack of experience in the making-call business. A "who is speaking" question would most normally be replied with a "who do you want to speak to"?.

I might add that as a child I did my share of this anti-etiquette practices.


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## Δημήτρης

In Cyprus, the norm is to say *"Ο/η Χ;"* ("Is it X?" X is the person you want to speak with). A more polite version is "Τον/την X, παρακαλώ" ("X, please). <-That's the one I use when I call landline phones.
Most of the people won't say their name unless you ask them. 

If someone call us and ask *"Who is speaking?" *(actually "Ποιος είναι;" / "Who is it?"), s/he gets a *"Who are you?"* as an answer. 6 times of 10, the caller will hang up the phone, feeling insulted, and call again after a couple of minutes, repeating the same question (!!). Personally, If he dares to call again I'll divert his call to a premium-rate number.


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## curlyboy20

Same here in Peru.

If I'm placing the call, I'd never ask "Who are you" or "who is speaking" when the phone gets answered. It is quite rude indeed. 

What I find really interesting about phone calls in Brazil is that the person who places the call asks the other party where it is that he's calling and the answering party confirms the phone number. For example:

(Telephone rings)

- José: Alô? _(Hello)_
_- _Caller: Alô, de onde fala? _(Hello, What number are you calling from. Literally: where are you speaking from?)_
_- _José: 258-5693
- Caller: Posso falar com Cláudia. _(Can I speak to Claudia?)_

I'm not sure if this applies all the time, but I've heard it many times before.


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## Pedro y La Torre

In Ireland, the (very) polite form is "hello, may I speak to XXX" but on a personal level I'd rarely, if ever, use this. If I didn't recognize the person's voice I'd say "Hello, can I speak to X" or "Hello I'm looking for X, is he/she there?"


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## Mishe

I would find it extremely rude if someone called on the land line telephone and asked me who I was, without presenting himself/herself. It would be more acceptable on the cellular phone, if someone else picked it up.


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## Macunaíma

It's common practice in Brazil for the caller to ask  who's speaking, to confirm that he/she has called the right number. But we are growing increasingly paranoid about receiving calls in which the person on the other end of the line asks our name or any information before identifying himself/herself. I wouldn't say we consider it rude, but suspicious. 

When I call someone's house I usually give my name first: "Oi, aqui é o Macunaíma, eu sou amigo do Joca, ele está, por favor?" (Hello, my name is Macunaíma, I'm Joca's friend, is he in, please?). Just asking "É da casa do Joca?" (Is it Joca's house?) might seem suspicious to some too. 

This is, no doubt, due to the permanent state of anxiety in which people in large urban conglomerates in Brazil live about their safety.


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## WordRef1

I would never just say, "who is speaking". When I call, I usually identify myself first and then ask for whom I wish to speak. However, as with business calls, usually the caller says, "hello, may I speak to X", but may also say, "hello, is this X?" That is different from just "who are you". If someone asks for me by name, I pretty much consider the same if they ask me (who answered) or ask _for_ me.

If there is confusion as to the correctness of the number called, it seems perfectly reasonable for the caller to ask, is this ### (such and such a number), which is not the same as asking what is your number. Because, in the first place if it is indeed the number I intended to call, I obviously have the number already. If not, simply confirming that the number is wrong is not giving up personal information and if anyone is going to give up personal information it should be the person who called. I have certainly seen people call and ask, what is your number, to confirm whether they entered the right number or not. I would not be inclined to give out that information. Of course, with most phones that's given out in both directions anyway.


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## almufadado

In Portugal :

When calling a land line (número fixo/da rede fixa) :

(Note : I will fit the english more literally to match the Portuguese)

Dial the number and when the calling signal stops:

*Introduction:*
caller - Are you there ? -> Está lá ? (to confirm the success of the call - Old habits ) 
answer- I Am, yes ? -> Estou sim ? (the comma "vanished" so to the letter is "Am I ?" lol !)

(Note : nowadays, this may seem too much but it became a habbit/tradition because of the mixed and crossed connections from the past ... that was fun !!!) 

*Identification and who the call is for:*
c - Mr Socrates is speaking (= calling) ! Is D. Beleza in (the house) ? -> Fala o Sr Socrates ! A D. Beleza está ?
a - This is she talking ! -> É ela que fala !

*Motive/objective :*
c - I am calling to tell that you ... -> Estou a ligar para lhe dizer que ... 
a - I am calling to ask if ... -> Estou a ligar para lhe perguntar se ...

*Goodbyes and fareweels :*
c - Well then, it was a pleasure to talk with you ! Untill the next (call/time)! Health (is what i wish) !(wait until the final reply)-> Então pronto, foi um prazer falar consigo ! Até à próxima ! Saúde !
a - The same to you ! The pleasure was mine ! Goodbye ! - and hangs up -> Igualmente ! O prazer foi meu ! Adeus ! - e desliga.

Well, it may seem too far fetched, and too polite but is still the most usual way of a phone call (may just a bit  !)

Cultural and social trends :

The trend in misleading calls and rude people brought a new more suspicious way of answering when called. First I (everybody do or should) always expect the caller to start talking and do not accept anything but the identification of the caller (caller-id/ISDN is not the standard ). 

In commercial calls (not aggressive marketing), one usually identifies him self and go directly to the business.  

Aggressive marketing are sometimes so rude (starting a call by asking you the called is, no pleasantries,  asking underage kids for info, and so on ) that most people start simply rejecting the call and hang-up. This created a tension not seen ever, that the "mechanics" are changing from politeness to broad suspicion. 

 So, in Portugal is the traditional and quick  "- 'tá lá ?" ("-Está lá ?") ->  "-'tou xim !. ("-Estou sim !") .


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## Guigo

Actually, in Brazil, things may vary when the issue is telephone calls.

1. In a commercial/professional level, it's expected that the caller say "good morning, good evening" followed by "please, may I speak to...".

2. In a friendly/familiar environment, where it's supposed that one knows the person or persons that will get the call, it's normal to say: "hello, Mary (John), how are you? ect, ect". Maybe if the voice in the other side is unknown, some may ask: "who is speaking?" but to be sure you dial the correct number the majority says: "is it 99999999?" or even better: "is it 99999999, the residence of John (Mary)?". In this case, for safety reasons and to avoid telemarketing the answerer may reply: "who is speaking?".

But depending on the caller's and answerer's background, age, education, instruction, purpose, ect, this introductory act may sound quite different.


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## Earth Dragon

In the United States, "may I speak to..." is most polite.  If the person you were looking for was the one that answered the phone, then they would either say "speaking" or "this is him/her."  However, that second option is incorrect English, it should be "it is I" or "this is he/she."


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## Verraco

Nowadays in Mexico, when someone calls you say "who is speaking?" means that someone in your family is been kidnapped...


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## Outlandish

In the Arab world only the receiver of a phone call can ask the caller "who is speaking?". The caller couldn't pose this question before he identifies himself and what he wants first.


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## Sepia

In Germany it is normal procedure that the one who answers the phone says who he is.

However, I, and obviously a growing number of other persons, tend not to when anwering a mobile phone. Whoever calls me on the cell ought to know who he is calling and expect that I am the one answering it. If not, he probably has no business disturbing me anyway.


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## Juan Jacob Vilalta

Yes, I learned to do so in Belgium.

_Jacob ! _when picking up the phone.

In Mexico, this doesn't exist.

We simply say: 

_¿Bueno?_


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## Dmitry_86

Joca said:


> Is it a pattern in your country, when you make a call, to ask the other party "Who is speaking?" rather than saying to them the more usual "May I speak to...?" ?
> Is the former - who is speaking? - acceptable or thought to be rude? Or does it depend on the context?


 
Of course, different people might say different things when they phone someone, either their friends or some organization, but there are some common ways of applying to those people with whom you intend to talk on the phone about some issue. 

It has never occurred to me that such a question can be asked at the vey beginning of the conversation. Usually, when we call our friends we say "May/Might I talk to ...", or "Could you please tell ... <a person's name> that I am calling", or "Could you, please, call <a person's name> to the phone" - thus, something like this. If a person you want to talk to picks up a receiver, you do not need to call them and may just start your discussion.

When we telephone some organization, the conversation style is far more formal. At first, we need to confirm that we have not made a mistake having dialed the wrong number and for this reason we ask "Is that XXX company?", or, if you want to hear a particular person (for example, a manager or a chief director), you ask: "Is that .... <the position of an employee in the company>?". Very often when a person at a company picks up a receiver they tell you immeadiately before allowing you to speak what organization you have phoned to. They do it in order to avoid unnecessary question and not to waste time. 

The question you have suggested "Who is speaking?" is, *GENERALLY SPEAKING*, possible sometimes but I would not recommend using it. For example, If I call my friend expecting to hear him or some members of his family but instead I hear an unfamiliar voice I may ask in surprise "Who is speaking?" in order to make sure that I have hit the target. This is not impolite, rather, it expresses surprise. At the same time, I cannot imagine myself say such a thing when I phone a company - in this case even if I have doubts about whether I have made a mistake or not I will still prefer to specify the company's name - otherwise, it may really sound a little bit impolite and unnatural.


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## WordRef1

Sepia said:


> In Germany it is normal procedure that the one who answers the phone says who he is.
> 
> However, I, and obviously a growing number of other persons, tend not to when anwering a mobile phone. Whoever calls me on the cell ought to know who he is calling and expect that I am the one answering it. If not, he probably has no business disturbing me anyway.


Yes, I have actually gotten in the habit of saying, "This is Roman" when I answer the phone because that way the person does not have to wonder and be as confused if they got the wrong number and it's not like I'm giving out any special information if they do know who they are calling.

And to Dmitry's point, I might not be so shocked to hear someone ask who it is when they are calling if I'm answering someone else's phone; so in that case I'd probably just say.


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## Dmitry_86

WordRef1 said:


> And to Dmitry's point, I might not be so shocked to hear someone ask who it is when they are calling if I'm answering someone else's phone; so in that case I'd probably just say.


 
Yes, I have not foreseen this. Once I took the mobile phone belonging to my cousin because mine was being repaired at that time. When I received a call from one of his acquaintances and he could not understand why it was not my cousin who was talking to him at that moment he said "Who is it?" ("Who am I speaking with?"). This is not impolite, of course.


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## french4beth

In general, I would only ask for the person's name with whom I am speaking if the person that I really need to speak with is not available; that way I can document my call with "spoke with Susie, Bob was not available, he will call back tomorrow". Generally in a business call in the US, the person who answers the phone generally identifies themself at the beginning of the call; if not, it would be ok to ask for the person's name (in a very polite fashion of course).


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## rusita preciosa

In Russia it is definitely considered rude of a person who places the call to ask "who I am speaking to?". The caller either introduces themselves first or says "Hello, I would like to talk to X"


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## SDLX Master

rusita preciosa said:


> In Russia it is definitely considered rude of a person who places the call to ask "who I am speaking to?". The caller either introduces themselves first or says "Hello, I would like to talk to X"


 
Same here in Peru.


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## sundreez

I simply say "hello" or "ciao" when in Italy.


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## Nunty

In Israel, it is rude and also not uncommon, especially when people are calling on behalf of a government office or the health fund.

I usually bark "Identify yourself!" (using the imperative, not the more polite future tense) in reply.


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## Joca

ewie said:


> I concur with Kevin Beach ~ and everyone else, for that matter.
> 
> You haven't told us what the practice is in Brazil, Joca


 

I know I'm coming too late, but anyway...

This happens to me all the time. I work in a room with another guy. He comes either in the morning or in the afternoon, so I am mostly alone half of the working time. He usually gets many telephone calls. There is a phone on my desk and another on his. Sometimes, when it keeps ringing for some time, if he is not in, I will pick up his phone thinking maybe the calling person will want to leave him a message or something. Invariably I hear the voice saying: "Who is speaking?" That sounds very rude to me, especially if it is a woman calling. I immediately respond: "Who do you want to speak with?" but often do I feel like saying (but so far have never done it), the equally rude: "Why do you want to know?" or "I am not the one you are calling", etc...

I'm afraid this is a ubiquitious practice here in Brazil, but especially in business circles.


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## Esca

If I'm calling a home or a business, I'll usually say, "Hi, may I [please] speak to XXX?" The person answering the phone will either say, "Speaking" (meaning, "Yes, I'm XXX") or they'll often say "May I ask who's calling?" I'll tell them "This is Esca." Then they'll say, "Just a minute" or something similar, while they search for the person I want. 

If there's some confusion or doubt, someone might say "Who is this?" and it would not be horribly rude. It would only be rude if that was one of the first things you said in the conversation.
For example:
XXX: Hello?
Esca: Hi, may I please speak to Katie?
XXX: She's not in right now, can I take a message?
Esca: I was just wondering if she was still coming to dinner with me tomorrow.
XXX: Wait, who is this? (_switch to less formal register because she thinks she must know me_)
Esca: This is her friend Esca.
XXX: Oh, hi Esca! This is Katie's mother! How are you doing?

On a less formal register, if I think I recognize the voice of the person answering the phone, I might just say "Hi, XXX? This is Esca."

I have some friends who still call me on my cell phone and say "Hi, Esca? This is XXX," which is redundant because, of course, their name comes up on my cell phone when they call me. That is common for calling someone's house, where the phone won't display who is calling. It's awkward on the cell phone because I don't know how I should react when I hear their name, because I already knew who it was when I answered the phone.


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## Plzenak

Saying simply ´Who is speaking?´ seems really rude to me,at least when calling someone unknown. In Czech republic most people introduce themselves first and then ask ´Could I speak with ..... , please ?´


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## Hakro

In *Finland* (in both official languages) "who is speaking" sounds absolutely rude, or even stupid, no matter if it's the caller or the answerer who says so.


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