# ik hou van jou (to friends?)



## Sardu

Hey everyone.
I have a lil, silly, question.
I want to know if it's usual to use "ik hou van jou" to friends, or not.
My girlfriend's friend and she are always saying it, and it is quite weird to me, because I know Dutch is pretty similar to German (I'm German) and we say "ich hab dich lieb" (Dutch: ik heb je lief) to friends, and "ich liebe dich" ("ik hou van jou") to the relationship partner or to really close people.  Because I don't speak Dutch, I prefer asking you guys, than having some issues that her friend is saying to my GF that he loves her. haha


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## iRoy

Goodmorning,

I don't really say 'ik hou van jou' to my friends, unless I won't see them for a long time, or something similar to that. I don't know how intimate she is with her friends, but normally people wouldn't say that to their friends, unless they're like really good friends, very close or in certain occasions? I don't know, I'm just talking from my experiences. I'd suggest you to ask her about it, be like 'Why are you always saying, ''ik hou van jou'' to him? Doesn't it mean ''I love you''? Also, 'ik heb je lief'...I kind of think that's something that people from Belgium would say, because I don't really hear it that often here... actually almost never (unless someone's listening to Paul de Leeuw's song, which is called 'ik heb je lief'). I also used to hear it a lot in this Belgium TV-show, which I used to watch, called 'Spring', but maybe I'm just wrong about that. Anyway, if you ask me, then I would say no, it's not usual to say 'I love you' to your friends, unless there's some particular reason. You might wanna wait for someone else to reply to this thread as well, just in case I'm completely wrong about it.


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## Sardu

Thanks for the reply, first.
Well they are pretty close on a way.
She knows him via internet (!) but they talk a lot and they know so much about each other.  I would even think if he would live in our near, he would be the best friend of her.
I already tried to talk with her about this, but she was saying it is different to the "I love you" she says to me.  I'm just wondering because in Germany it's not common to say this to friends.
Is there no other way to say to a friend that you love her a lot, in Dutch?


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## iRoy

Sardu said:


> thanks for the reply, first.
> well they are pretty close on a way.
> she knows him via internet (!) but they talk a lot and they know so much about each other. i would even think if he would live in our near, he would be the best friend of her.
> i already tried to talk with her about this, but she was saying it is different to the "i love you" she says to me. i'm just wondering because in germany its not common to say this to the friends.
> is there no other way to say to a friend that you love her a lot, in dutch?



Well, then I think you've got nothing to be afraid of, since they sound very intimate. When she said that, the 'I love you' that she says to you, is different from the one that she says to her friend, then she probably meant that when she says it to you, she means she loves you like a boyfriend, and when she says it to her friends, she means I love you like a friend. If I want to say to my friends that I love them, which I should do more often now that I think of it xD, but I guess I'd say 'ik hou van jullie, jongens,' which means 'I love you, guys.' Is there another way to say to a friend that you love him/her? I don't think so.


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## Sardu

ah ok ok thanks 
Doesn't get me wrong or something btw, it's not that I think she's going to have something with that dude or something. I was just confused because of these two different ways to say that you like/love someone.  So I don't have to be afraid if they say 'ik hou van jou' under friends? as I said, it's just really really uncommon to me.  I do never say to my friends that I love them LOL .. ;D


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## iRoy

Sardu said:


> ah ok ok thanks
> doesnt get me wrong or something btw, it's not that i think she's going to have something with that dude or something. i was just confused because of these two different ways to say that you like/love someone. so i don't have to be afraid if they say ik hou van jou under friends? as i said, its just really really uncommon to me. i do never say to my friends that i love them LOL .. ;D



You don't have to be afraid of them saying 'ik hou van jou', but I would get very jealous if she would constantly do it though lol, but that's just me. Neither do I XD, poor friends of ours. Have a nice day, dude =].


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## Sardu

hahaha well .. I don't know  I am not very jealous. common!
But if she was saying it like on the same way as she say it to me, I'd get jealous.
Actually I want to meet him and stuff, but he better doesn't say this sentence to my GF, anyway this friendship won't be good hahaha.
Have a nice day too ;] thanks for your help.


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## jacquesvd

iRoy said:


> Goodmorning,
> 
> I don't really say 'ik hou van jou' to my friends, unless I won't see them for a long time, or something similar to that. I don't know how intimate she is with her friends, but normally people wouldn't say that to their friends, unless they're like really good friends, very close or in certain occasions? I don't know, I'm just talking from my experiences. I'd suggest you to ask her about it, be like 'Why are you always saying, ''ik hou van jou'' to him? Doesn't it mean ''I love you''? Also, 'ik heb je lief'...I kind of think that's something that people from Belgium would say, because I don't really hear it that often here... actually almost never (unless someone's listening to Paul de Leeuw's song, which is called 'ik heb je lief'). I also used to hear it a lot in this Belgium TV-show, which I used to watch, called 'Spring', but maybe I'm just wrong about that. Anyway, if you ask me, then I would say no, it's not usual to say 'I love you' to your friends, unless there's some particular reason. You might wanna wait for someone else to reply to this thread as well, just in case I'm completely wrong about it.


 
"Ik heb je lief" is used in written language, songs and solemn talk, etc. but in everyday spoken Dutch (Flemish version) it would be 'ik hou van jou (je)' . Obviously, love inevitably implying closeness one would expect here dialect and in mine that would be'ik zieng oe gere"

The ambiguity surrounding'ik hou van jou' would often be removed by small additions (ik hou van je gezelschap, ik ben graag bij jou, ik hou van je manier van doen, etc. of zelfs iets zoals 'ik heb je graag')


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## iRoy

Dankje voor de opklaring =].


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## Qittat Ulthar

To be fair, I would be worried if my girlfriend told a friend she loves him, it's not something you say in Dutch to anyone but your beloved. You do say it to your family but usually only in circumstances where one of you is going far away or ill or in trouble. In English it's different, I am constantly telling my friends that I love them, but I don't think I've ever done it in Dutch. I would say "veel liefs" or something, but not more than that.


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## Kayla321

I don't think I have EVER said "ik hou van jou" to a friend.  To me, that would sound like I was in love with this person.


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## Koos

I think it's more normal for women to say it to their very close friends than for men to say it. I do have a gay friend who says it to me and I say it back to him, but I wouldn't say it if he didn't say it to me. I tend to reserve 'I love you' for actual love relationships. However, some people do it all the time and I wouldn't worry about your girlfriend saying it to others. There's just no real difference in Dutch between 'ich liebe dich' and 'ich hab dich lieb', so she's limited in her choice of words.


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## Ktke

I think it's very personal. I'm sure in English some people say I love you to everyone and others only to their lovers. It's like that in Dutch as wel. Some people get familiairly easily, others don't. And others switch depending on how the other one acts towards you...


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## beckythatcher420

This may be like, WAAAY late...but my male friend from Belgium, who speaks Dutch informed me from day one that you don't say "ik hou van jou" to friends. Here, is it common to say, "I love you" to your friends. Ik hou van jou, literally means "To hold from you". It is very UNcommon for one to say that to just a friend, because it does NOT mean the same thing. If they say that to each other...why not just say... "love ya!"? I'm assuming she speak English, so why wouldn't they just say it to each other in English? It's a lot stronger in their language, than I love you, is in our language. It's as strong as saying 'I'm in love with you'...or something like that. It doesn't necessarily mean 'I'm in love with you', but per say, but it's the same strength.


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## LeRenardReynaerde

context is everything. But in general, even though young women use it easier in the English 'I love you'-sense, I'm sure most Dutch would be just as startled as any German if you'd confess your love for them out of the blue. 
I think I did say 'I love you too' humorously to other guys after (mild) criticism, but other than that I'd never say it to friends.

_Ik heb je lief_ is stronger than _ik hou van jou _if you asked me.


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