# こんな想いをするなら...



## JapanForever

Hi there,
I would like to know; what is the meaning of this sentence?こんな想いをするなら... The first thing I would like to know if this sentence is complete as well as the meaning of するなら too (it seems it's written in "if" way?) To help for context, I've this screeshot with the sentence in. 
http://imgur.com/0RxWI
Thanks for your help


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## frequency

Heeey JapanForever.

He has a memory of his behaviour that makes him uncomfortable, so feels bad, disappointed. And he says, こんな想いをするなら・・
Next, he decides to do the action mentioned in the following paragraph. I'm thinking whether to use 'if' will be okay in this case. For details, later!


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## JapanForever

so what does  こんな想いをするなら・ mean in this sentence?


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## mdbvma

I would translate it as "When he feels like this..." or "When he thinks about it..." The reader must infer the rest of the sentence from the context. Perhaps the protagonist finds the memories too painful to put into words or perhaps he has confused feelings about it that he isn't able to express clearly.


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## JapanForever

so he feels like this as it's uncomfortable?


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## JapanForever

so he feels like this as it's uncomfortable? But what is the next action he does afterward?


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## frequency

I don't know why Benedict is so uncomfortable. He might have done something.

_Rather I'm having/keep on having this feeling..
(If/when) I keep on having this feeling..
(I'd rather do the action) than having this feeling.._

He wants to do something different instead of having that feeling. The  next paragraph describes what he did. If using 'if' here? Umm..Yes and  no. I can't decide.

By the way, mdbvma, sorry for ambiguity of the Japanese language. All  descriptions are of narrative except こんな想いをするなら.., which is a sudden  speech by Benedict without quotation marks. So the subject is I. It is  used like stand-alone, and if using he, it will be 'incorporated' into a  sentence that sounds more narration.


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## JapanForever

Okay. So if I understood he feels uncomfortable because of the first sentence (if I'm right) "he has a memory of his behavior that make him uncomfortable"? And what happens in the following snetence please?


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## frequency

JapanForever said:


> so he feels like this as it's uncomfortable? But what is the next action he does afterward?



He decided to stop thinking/recalling the feeling.
_Benedict had stopped thinking about the feeling; just thinking about it and further made him feel bothered._


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## JapanForever

By the way the beginning of the first sentence, isnt it "the act itself"?
For more precision, I'd this screenshot before sentence :http://imgur.com/hmnmb:
don't know if it can help


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## frequency

JapanForever said:


> "he has a memory of his behavior that make him uncomfortable"


OMG that's my explanation. But the sentence roughly says so! For details, mdbvma may kindly help us?


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## JapanForever

what do you mean?


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## frequency

By the way, JapanForever and mdbvma, the writer of this story uses 自体, itself, too much. It's redundancy, and still enough understandable if you omit it!


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## JapanForever

So if I understood the sentence そうした行為自体が、また彼の中で居心地悪い記憶として残り続けている it means:
"Such act itself made uncomfortable memories?"
something like that?


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## noriaki

I would translate,
(Memories of) such acts itself also still remains in his mind as memories that makes him uncomfortable.

Thanks.


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## JapanForever

So if I well understood the  act made him uncomfortable? That's why he doesn't want to have this feeling? So the previous sentence (of the screenshot) isn't involved in ?


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## noriaki

Yes, I feel you understand correctly.


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## JapanForever

okay thanks. By the way could you translate for me the sentence before this one please? (in the last screenshot I posted)?


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## noriaki

I would translate,
For just a moment, an existence of Benedictus' sister worries him, and then he looks around.

Thanks.


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## JapanForever

I see. So it isn't involved in the part with painful memories? (for the context the character must recall things for her but I guess it isn't involved in this part)


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## noriaki

It is not clear.

But I guess, "he looks around because he minds his sister" is one of the acts that makes him uncomfortable.


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## JapanForever

The character must recall/learn things for her so I asked it pointed the memories which are painful/uncomfortable for him?


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## noriaki

It is not clear but perhaps that's right.


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## JapanForever

But in the sentence そうした行為自体が、また彼の中で居心地悪い記憶として残り続けている I don't guess 残り続けている isn't "learn uncomfortable memories" so I think my translation isn't not correct?


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## noriaki

Did you describe your translation "残り続けている" into "learn uncomfortable memories?"
Sorry, I didn't understand like this.

As I said before, my translation would be,
(Memories of) such acts itself also still remains in his mind as memories that makes him uncomfortable.


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## JapanForever

Yes that's why I said that wasn't a correct translation I guess.  So this acts still remains in his mind and it made him uncomfortable that's the right translation.


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