# Flirting and Culture



## chicalita

I was wondering if some light can be shed on how men from different Latin cultures regard, or engage in, flirting.  For example,  Mexican and Italian men have a reputation for being quite flirtatious and bold with women.  However I haven't heard or experienced the same about men from (again for example) Spain or Costa Rica.  
So, are there truly regional/cultural differences in how men and women engage each other?  Is flirting really the same everywhere or are the 'rules' different in different countries?


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## E-D

hey there!
I think all Latin men tend to be bolder (no pun intended ha ha) and more social therefore more keen to approach us girls. There are definitely differences but as usual you cannot generalize.

Are you in your teens, 20s, 30s, 40s or over? I think that makes a difference as well.

Besos


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## jmx

To use the word "Latin" to encompass such different countries as Mexico and Italy makes very little sense to me. 

To hint that these countries share some kind of "common psychology" borders both the ridiculous and the offensive.


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## Lucyernaga

Haven't you heard the expression "*Latin Lover*"? It is not that there is a "common psychology". I don't think it has been said to offend anybody . But there is a behaviour called "Latin Lover", which is not practiced by all Latin Americans or by all Spanish or Italian men, however they seem more likely to play the role because of - for example - cultural environment or family traditions. 

I'm from Panama, and I can say you find all kinds of flirting behaviours here. Also the age makes a difference, as well as environment (exceptions included). We have the "viejo verde" which is an old man who seems too inmature in his approach to women, and a long list of flirting approaches. 

It is very common to find married men with "queridas" (lovers) and you might say it is not acceptable, but some wives know who the Querida is (including address, phone number and full name) and they keep cool as long as the husband remains married and "happy".

In my very humble opinion, _Cuban men talk so cute_, you always think they are flirting, but you might be surprised most of them are just being nice as they are.  Colombian men are also very polite and gentlemen, wich will probably make a silly woman like   me turn crazy.  But I am happily acquanited with my neighbors beautiful way of talking and thus, cured from that symphtom.

In Latin America, we learn how do dance Salsa and Merengue very soon in our lives, most of our mothers promote "machista" behaviour and perhaps that could have something to do with the Latin Lover mentality.


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## Roi Marphille

I think Argentinians are the World Champions in Flirting. 

Can't compete against them.


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## VenusEnvy

jmartins said:
			
		

> To use the word "Latin" to encompass such different countries as Mexico and Italy makes very little sense to me.


Perhaps Latin/Hispanic/Spanish-speaking would appease you?
Although, I would like to know why "Italians" were included in this bunch....? Maybe she's just trying to find out how those of the "Romance Languages" flirt.?



			
				jmartins said:
			
		

> To hint that these countries share some kind of "common psychology" borders both the ridiculous and the offensive.


I think that Chicalita was inquiring about the DIFFERENCE between Spanish-speaking countries and their flirting habits. I didn't think that she was saying that all of these countries share a "common psychology".


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## Vanda

Flirting = Brazilian people, not only men. Equally men and women.

Sorry to disagree with (well, not that my disagreeing matters ),
I think it's Roi, but Argentinians can't compete with Brazilians in
this matter. Once I went to Buenos Aires with many wonderful 
girls (friends of mine) and I can tell you I didn't notice this
Argentinian trait. Actually I was admired they were so behaviored.
Here, there are times that we wish they weren't so bold.
Only in Italy I saw something close to it.


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## timpeac

jmartins said:
			
		

> To use the word "Latin" to encompass such different countries as Mexico and Italy makes very little sense to me.
> 
> To hint that these countries share some kind of "common psychology" borders both the ridiculous and the offensive.


 
Hi Jmartins - this is definitely a very usual usage of the word "latin" - or at least it seems to so to me. This seems to be quite an interesting subject, but I am loathe to overtake Chicalita's thread. If you'd like to discuss further let me know and I'll split this off into the English forum as to exactly what the adjective "Latin" means (apart from the dead language of course).


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## Jaspen

Jmartins -

You oughta get a little less sensitive and more realistic.  Already existing generalizations such as "Latin American", "Latin Languages", "Latin Culture" and whatnot cannot simply be dismissed because they are not 100% accurate.  There is, in fact, a general tendancy by Latin men to be more forthcoming when they see a woman that attracts them.  But that is not to say that every Latin man is even straight.  Generalizations serve a purpose and the question posed by the original author of the blog is completely valid.  Your sensitivity is what is rediculous and comical.  Quit trying to confuse these generalizations with stereotypes so you can attempt accomplishing an agenda that has nothing to do with the question.


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## Lucyernaga

I guess Latin was the official language of the Roman Empire. It origined Spanish, Italian, French and Portuguese. It characterizes, then in some way, these people. That's why, in my case I included Italians.  I remember the word Gigoló, but I'm not sure if it fits to the Latin Lover.

Anyway, I don't know what purpose serves generalization, but it is a fact. All gringos don't love Disney, do they?


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## irisheyes0583

Please don't forget that Romanian is the 5th romance language!


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## Roi Marphille

irisheyes0583 said:
			
		

> Please don't forget that Romanian is the 5th romance language!


well, I don't know what to you mean by "the 5th"..anyway, there are many other romance languages


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## irisheyes0583

Roi,

What I meant was that Lucyernaga had mentioned Spanish, French, Portuguese, and Italian as Romance languages... in fact, there are 5 major contemporary Romance languages, and so Romanian would be the 5th. Of course, there are many other "minor" (this is not my term, but the technical one!) languages/dialects (Catalan, for one). I was simply stating that people often forget to group Romanian in with S, F, P, & I as a major Romance language!


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## LV4-26

I understand jmartins' point. But I still think chicalita's question remains interesting provided we're aware we're dealing with "rituals" rather than psychology.


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## Beautiful Princess

chicalita said:
			
		

> So, are there truly regional/cultural differences in how men and women engage each other? Is flirting really the same everywhere or are the 'rules' different in different countries?


 
Yes, I believe so, in the Philippines, the statistics are randomly distributed... that means... there are those that belong to the flirt "curve" and those that are not... 

Women, are usually conservative, but there are those that are the "outliers".. those that belong outside the norm...

This is the same with men, but there are certain areas in which it is predominant... cities or urban areas in compare to rural or province... belief, upbringing and religious affiliations, for instance... but it also on how we perceived being flirtatious... is it on how they insinuate or suggests in verbal or actions... be it suggestive remarks.. or on how they dress...

And what does flirting means for me?... it depends if I'm conservative or liberated..

In the end, it's how we're raised, how we behave and accept or categorically accept behaviors... and different culture defines flirting in different levels, aspects or degrees.


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## Roi Marphille

irisheyes0583 said:
			
		

> Roi,
> 
> What I meant was that Lucyernaga had mentioned Spanish, French, Portuguese, and Italian as Romance languages... in fact, there are 5 major contemporary Romance languages, and so Romanian would be the 5th. Of course, there are many other "minor" (this is not my term, but the technical one!) languages/dialects (Catalan, for one). I was simply stating that people often forget to group Romanian in with S, F, P, & I as a major Romance language!


well, sorry to go out of the topic but I would not rate a language spoken by more than 7 milion people and covering an influence area of more than 10 milion a minor language. Source here. 
But, I know what u mean.


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## jmx

Chicalita said:
			
		

> ... how men from different Latin cultures regard, or engage in, flirting





			
				VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Perhaps Latin/Hispanic/Spanish-speaking would appease you? Although, I would like to know why "Italians" were included in this bunch....? Maybe she's just trying to find out how those of the "Romance Languages" flirt.?


Right, if Chicalita had mentioned other countries, maybe I wouldn't have answered. The only link that I can see between Italy and Mexico is that the majority tongues in those countries belong to the same family.

So perhaps Chicalita thinks that flirting is especially affected by the family of the language that you speak. For example, she may think that people from the USA, Austria and Jamaica have similar ways to flirt.

Or else, perhaps Chicalita thinks that mexicans and italians share some other thing that I don't know, and my best guess was that "common psychology". I probably assumed too much, but I'd like to know what exactly these countries have in common.


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## jmx

timpeac said:
			
		

> Hi Jmartins - this is definitely a very usual usage of the word "latin" - or at least it seems to so to me. This seems to be quite an interesting subject, but I am loathe to overtake Chicalita's thread.


This is a very usual usage of the word "latin"... where ? Just ask any italian if they use the word with the same meaning.





			
				timpeac said:
			
		

> If you'd like to discuss further let me know and I'll split this off into the English forum as to exactly what the adjective "Latin" means (apart from the dead language of course).


No thanks, it would soon get as repetitive as those "Hispanic" threads. And by the way, if you mean that Chicalita used the word _latin_ in the "english" meaning of it, that looks like an alibi to me. Her question seemed to be addressed to speakers of other languages.


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## snowflakelaia

My experience is that central and south american ppl are warmer people, their personal space (distance when speaking with someone) is almost non-existent, and also, the way the speak is in a way, sweeter (using diminutives,etc) which implies closeness. 
Mediterranean people are a bit similar, but they will not do as much physical contact and closeness (of course, it's a generalizations, and there are exceptions) as the ones from the other continent.
Oh well, this is just my experience and opinion.

have a beautiful day.
Laia


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## chicalita

jmartins said:
			
		

> Right, if Chicalita had mentioned other countries, maybe I wouldn't have answered. The only link that I can see between Italy and Mexico is that the majority tongues in those countries belong to the same family.
> 
> So perhaps Chicalita thinks that flirting is especially affected by the family of the language that you speak. For example, she may think that people from the USA, Austria and Jamaica have similar ways to flirt.
> 
> Or else, perhaps Chicalita thinks that mexicans and italians share some other thing that I don't know, and my best guess was that "common psychology". I probably assumed too much, but I'd like to know what exactly these countries have in common.



Obviously there's been a gross misunderstanding here, and at the risk of making matters worse I will say that I was very clear about what I was asking.  You however, are not.  You've incorrectly misinterpreted my comments, and are being unnecessarily aggresive, sarcastic, assumptive and argumentative.  Traits I normally admire in a person but only if delivered with some humor. 

Now, if you would like to ask nicely that I explain my comments, thoughts on the subject, opinions or even motives for asking, instead of pretending you know,  I will be more than happy to do so.  

As a personal comment to anyone else viewing this I would like to add that I'm in a particularly foul mood today so will apologize if anyone's been offended by my current remarks.  And if anyone's been entertained please feel free to drop me a line to say so, as it may cheer me up to have amused someone.

And if anyone could answer the actual original questions I'd be really tickled


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## cuchuflete

For the benefit of anyone who may wish to attempt answers to "the actual original questions", here they are again, unedited:

 1. A.- how men from different Latin cultures regard, or B.- engage in, flirting.
 2. are there truly regional/cultural differences in how men and women engage each other? 
 3.  Is flirting really the same everywhere or are the 'rules' different in different countries?

My only observation is that these topics and questions are broad enough to keep armies of people busy attempting answers, without going off on tangents.


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## cuchuflete

> Now, if you would like to ask nicely that I explain my comments, thoughts on the subject, opinions or even motives for asking, instead of pretending you know, I will be more than happy to do so.



Hello Chicalita,

In the interests of world peace, please define what you mean by "Latin cultures".  That will help all concerned avoid wasting lots of time speculating.

If someone doesn't like or agree with your definition, they should open a thread on that topic, and have their say, leaving this thread for those who wish to address your questions.

regards,
Cuchuflete


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## chicalita

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Hello Chicalita,
> 
> In the interests of world peace, please define what you mean by "Latin cultures".  That will help all concerned avoid wasting lots of time speculating.



Mainly referring to Spanish speaking.  Italy because my understanding is that Italian is the closest to Spanish of all the latin-based languages (I could be way wrong about that) AND  I can't imagine considering any aspect of flirting and not including Italian men.  And I mean that as a compliment.


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## cuchuflete

All of the Spanish, French, and Portuguese speaking countries south of the Rio Grande river have a collective population of about 560 million people. Roughly one third of those are Portuguese speakers. You have, perhaps, omitted a lot of good flirting


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## irisheyes0583

Well, I see that there have been some argument regarding this topic, but I'm just going to dive in and give my $.02 (however general they may be)!

I am American (USA) and I studied in both Costa Rica (age 16) and Brazil (age 17)... I'm sure being young did have to do with the kind of flirting that went on, which is why I mention my ages at the time. My _very *very*_ general observations are the following (and please, I am not generalizing about "Latin" cultures as a whole, or even Costa Rica and Brazil as a whole, but simply sharing my teenage observations):

In Costa Rica, the absolute biggest "flirting" difference I encountered was the the men hissed at me as I walked by. In the USA, women are occasionally whistled at, but in CR, I was hissed (like the sound a snake makes) at by virtually every man I saw on the street. At first, I was thrown by this behavior & a little uncomfortable, but my tica "sister" explained to me that it was perfectly normal and not meant to be offensive. Beyond that, I found that Costa Rican men were very friendly to me, but also very respectful. There was none of the crude behavior (i.e. grabbing my butt) that often happens in US bars. Also, dancing was a very important form of flirtation, but I think most people already know that! Finally, I did have a tico boyfriend and I have to say that it was one of the best experiences ever! The difference between him & all the American boyfriend I had after him was enormous! I'm not sure how much had to do with cultural differences vs. personal differences, but he was much sweeter and gentler in the way he touched me, spoke to me (using diminutives & calling me "amor", "corazon", etc.), danced with me, etc. To generalize, I would say his flirting was much more romantic (more about love than about getting laid) than what I have since encountered in the USA. However, I do think this is in part due to the fact that Spanish, in general, is a more romantic and beautiful language.

In Brazil, I found the flirting to be a little more like in the USA than it had been in CR. I was not hissed at, although men did call out to me from the street. Men were more forward than I had previously encountered in the USA, but they were not pushy or rude. The Portuguese language is very similar to Spanish (I'm not sure if Italian is even more closely related to Spanish), but in my experience, it is not as "cute". The men did not use the diminutives quite as much and their word choices weren't quite as poetic as in Spanish, but Portuguese is still a very beautiful language. What men can't get away with saying in English (because it is crude and will not be met with good results), Brazilian men did say (and were met with a smile). 

I don't know if this is what you were looking for, and I absolutely do not mean to offend anyone by making sweeping generalizations... I'm simply commenting on my own experiences.


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## irisheyes0583

I would be interested in hearing what other people have to say, too... also, chicalita, do you have any observations, or were you just inquiring as to others'?


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## JazzByChas

chicalita said:
			
		

> So, are there truly regional/cultural differences in how men and women engage each other? Is flirting really the same everywhere or are the 'rules' different in different countries?


 
IMHO, men and women are the same all over the world.  Flirting is flirting, and some men are exorbitant flirts, as well as some women.  Limiting it to a nationality is not necessarily a good thing to do.

I've seen all sorts of flirts, and they know no nationality or culture exclusively.


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## chicalita

JazzByChas said:
			
		

> IMHO, men and women are the same all over the world.  Flirting is flirting, and some men are exorbitant flirts, as well as some women.  Limiting it to a nationality is not necessarily a good thing to do.
> 
> I've seen all sorts of flirts, and they know no nationality or culture exclusively.




So you don't think that flirting 'styles' are diffeent in different areas?  Or that in some cultures certain types of flirting are ok and others are taboo?


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## JazzByChas

chicalita said:
			
		

> So you don't think that flirting 'styles' are diffeent in different areas? Or that in some cultures certain types of flirting are ok and others are taboo?


 
Well, flirting 'styles' may be different, according to the culture and the mores of that country, i.e. where certain types of behavior may or may not be deemed socially acceptable, but in the end, "there is nothing new under the sun" and flirting is flirting, in any style you choose.

Where you can get away with outlandish behavior, you will do outlandish flirting, and conversely, where only propriety is acceptable, you will not be able to do but only the most subtle flirting (if at all). A good example being very staunch Muslim countries. 

In most Western countries, however, the amount and styles of flirting runs the gamut.

 (food for thought, anyway)


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## vy222

I was told that a guys in Argentina have many "amantes" even if they already  have a girlfriend and that they constantly flirt with other girls. Wouldn't the  girlfriend of a guy get extremely irratated?! or is it acceptable and just part of the culture? 
and since Argentinian guys (bueno, nearly all spanish-speaking men =P) are so charming and what we tend to see as flirting is in fact "normal" to them, how do you know when they are actually "flirting" with you? - like they really like you and not just being their charming self?


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## Lucyernaga

I guess you might know when you see the kind of commitment they're willing to make.  For instance, telling someone "you are beautiful" *doesn't mean* "I want a date" or "let's be friends".


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## Tatzingo

Lucyernaga said:


> I guess you might know when you see the kind of commitment they're willing to make.  For instance, telling someone "you are beautiful" *doesn't mean* "I want a date" or "let's be friends".



So... you're implying that it does mean... what exactly??

Tatz.


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## Lucyernaga

Sorry. I mean talking nice doesn't allways mean you're interested in someone. Some people just like to talk nice, telling nice things to people around.  

I you come to Panama, you'll probably shock when people address you like "mi amor" (my love) or "mi vida" (my life) whithout knowing you at all. With a simple phone call to any place you can get a tender answer like: "Yes darling, you can come to our store and you'll get you *whatever *you want".

Ohhhh....sounds good isn't it? And still they are just answering to your question "Do you have aspirins there?".


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## don maico

British men flirt by getting drunk first and then attempting a rugby tackle That was how I met my wife


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## Tatzingo

Lucyernaga said:


> Sorry. I mean talking nice doesn't allways mean you're interested in someone. Some people just like to talk nice, telling nice things to people around.
> 
> I agree with this but talking nice to EVERYONE you meet? surely that could be confusing at times! How do they interpret whether you are just a nice person, just being friendly or seeking romance? Giving compliments is one thing but a high quantity of compliments directed at a specific person might make them think that you want more than friendship!
> 
> I you come to Panama, you'll probably shock when people address you like "mi amor" (my love) or "mi vida" (my life) whithout knowing you at all. With a simple phone call to any place you can get a tender answer like: "Yes darling, you can come to our store and you'll get you *whatever *you want".
> 
> Yes, we have that over in the UK too. Bus drivers, civil servants, many people in fact will address you as "love" even though it's the first time that you're speaking with them.
> 
> Ohhhh....sounds good isn't it? And still they are just answering to your question "Do you have aspirins there?".



Tatz.


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## Lucyernaga

Yes, you can get confused. You can leave a ministry all in love with the whole civil servants association. And worst: when you feel to begin with the same nice talking, then you find someone with the sexual harrassment law in her/his hand. I definitively agree this is very confusing. But this is my country!!!


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## Setwale_Charm

Lucyernaga said:


> Yes, you can get confused. You can leave a ministry all in love with the whole civil servants association. And worst: when you feel to begin with the same nice talking, then you find someone with the sexual harrassment law in her/his hand. I definitively agree this is very confusing. But this is my country!!!


 
Do not be too upset, Lucyernaga! You haven`t evidently been to Russia as yet. There is a peculiar mentality here which really beats me. If a Russian man is fond of you , he`ll take pleasure in telling you all sorts of nasty things, trying to humiliate you in any way possible. After that he expects you to like him!! I wonder, if a woman is all what he calls her (often in a really bad language), why does he have to take the trouble telling her all that? And it is still far worse in the North Caucasus. But Russian women seem to like it!! And often do the same with their beloved ones. This is really a bit unique, come to think of it. Oriental men often pour compliments on you which do sound rather insincere and 'twee', but at least you know, they aspire to be liked. The Russian way is a national know-how, evidently They are a bit like little boys who push girls and grab them by their plaits as a sign of affection


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## gigizac

Chicalita, 

I found your question totally valid. 

Jmartin's I found your reply totally "offensive". Why would anybody be offended when referring to Italians and Mexicans in the same sentence? Which nationality is not worthy of being mentioned with which? I in no way find it offensive (I'm Mexican) and wonder if there are any Italian members who would like to enlighten me.


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## unefemme1

Well, here in New Zealand, from my own experience, if the guys have been flirting, they sure have a funny way of showing it . I'm just a teen, nearing 20, so obviously it would differ for different ages. Also, dancing isn't a national focus, rugby is, so that kind of shows you just the type of guys we have here. So you can forget about children taught salsa or any other latin dances at an early age here, sadly. Perhaps this thread should be broadened to include the "romantic languages", eg Spanish, Italian, French...?


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## jmx

gigizac said:


> Jmartin's I found your reply totally "offensive". Why would anybody be offended when referring to Italians and Mexicans in the same sentence? Which nationality is not worthy of being mentioned with which? I in no way find it offensive (I'm Mexican) and wonder if there are any Italian members who would like to enlighten me.


 
I didn't want to interfere in this thread again, but now it's unavoidable. ;-)

If you reread my post #3, what I intended to say was :

1) That lumping together all people that speak Romance languages for 'sociological' purposes is, in my opinion, too loose to be of much or any usefulness.

2) That maybe the thread starter was thinking about a certain stereotype of 'latin lover', that I particularly hate. In post #4 you can see that I wasn't the only one associating the thread with 'latin lovers'.

I'm sorry if you thought that I was trying to distance myself from our 'poor relatives' beyond the Atlantic. That wasn't my intention, though I must admit that many people in Spain try to do that.


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## GenJen54

*Moderator Note*:  This thread seems to be flirting with its extinction if we cannot get back on the topic of how flirting varies in different countries / cultures.  The early posters seemed to have understood this idea.  More recent posters have not. 

Please stick to the thread topic, or we'll all have to kiss this one goodbye!


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## MarieC

unefemme1 said:


> Well, here in New Zealand, from my own experience, if the guys have been flirting, they sure have a funny way of showing it . I'm just a teen, nearing 20, so obviously it would differ for different ages. Also, dancing isn't a national focus, rugby is, so that kind of shows you just the type of guys we have here. So you can forget about children taught salsa or any other latin dances at an early age here, sadly. Perhaps this thread should be broadened to include the "romantic languages", eg Spanish, Italian, French...?



My boyfriend, an amazing guy, is a New Zealander.  Although he's not into rugby as most Kiwi men are, he _doesn't_ dance!  I dance salsa and merengue and used to dance almost every night for 6 hours straight when I was dating a Guatemalan guy and I would be lying if I were to say that I don't miss dancing.  

Having dated Hispanic men before, I'd have to say that they're pretty good at flirting.  They know how to make _cariño_.  From my personal experience, however, I find a lot of them to be (well, the ones I've dated, anyway) _mujeriegos_. The frustrating part is that they don't seem to see anything wrong with cheating! (_Pero, mi cielo...)_ I'm sure not all Hispanic men think that way, but, as for me, I've found the perfect guy in my non-salsa dancing Kiwi guy. Heh.


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## Laztana

*This post was the begining of a new thread. I merged it to this older one, seeing that the topics are a bit similar. Please try to avoid stereotypes and clichés as much as you can, so as to not get this thread closed.*
*Thanks*


Hi everyone, 
Whenever I travel around and I mention something about Spanish men, people would automatically think of them as "latin lovers" . The funny thing is that I haven't met any of those yet (and even funnier is that I don't think I would particularly like to meet a man like that ). I've been wondering about this issue for some time now and since latin lovers don't exist in Spain (correct me if I'm wrong, though), do they exist somewhere else in the planet, apart from movies and such? or is it just a stereotype? and what do people think in your country a latin lover is? Here it would be a suntanned man, pretty fit with very dark eyes and a "Casanova" .
Thanks in advance for your answers


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## IrishStar

Hello Laztana,

To be honest with you I know some Italian Latin lovers, because they are suntanned, handsome and act like Casanova (sciupafemmine in Italian). Sometimes they also have dark eyes and they are fit...
Now, I don't know any Spanish like that and I know a few of them 
When I was in college, I often thought of the Spanish man as "caliente" and I thought that every Spanish looked more or less like Antonio Banderas. But I got quite disappointed when I saw them in real life, ihihih
As for the Italians, they think they are cool, I mean the latin lover ones, but they are just boring and I much prefer someone less tanned with more culture and brain...I think those are the real Casanova


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## cuchuflete

There is a fun, and very long (no surprise!) thread about names for such people
in the English Only forum. 

men



It's from November, 2004, but I suspect things haven't changed much since then.


_Edit: Things HAVE changed. There was an extraordinary amount of chat back then. _


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## Laztana

Yeah Alexacohen, to me a "latin lover" is maybe more related to Italy than to Spain but I've been asked about this issue (Spanish men as latin lovers) when I've been abroad, so that's why I'm asking here.
Thanks for your answer


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## ayupshiplad

Hmm, well I think they do exist, though no-one will admit to being them! According to my Portuguese friend (who, obviously, is not a latin-lover himself!) it's the South Americans that are the 'latin-lovers'. Personally, my idea of a 'latin-lover' is a very sleazy man that will hit on anything just to get laid, though particularly foreigners that are 'easy'. It's quite a negative thing! From that point of view, I would have to say Spain is probably the worst for that in western Europe...sorry! Obviously it's a stereotype, but one that a lot of people hold to be true! In fact, there's a Bolivian in my French class and my teacher refers to him as 'The Latin-Lover'!


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## IrishStar

It's quite amusing to find out what you think of latin lovers, because in Italian it doesn't have a negative meaning at all! It's more a handsome guy who is very successful with women and easily breaks their hearts! I wonder, is this just your opinion or is it like that for any English native?


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## Laztana

IrishStar said:


> That advert is funny!!
> It's quite amusing to find out what you think of latin lovers, because in Italian it doesn't have a negative meaning at all! It's more a handsome guy who is very successful with women and easily breaks their hearts! I wonder, is this just your opinion or is it like that for any English native?



Oh! I didn't know that, I would say that a Latin lover is not a very good thing in Spain. Any of my friends would feel embarrased if someone called them latin lovers.

saludos


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## IrishStar

Laztana said:


> Oh! I didn't know that, I would say that a Latin lover is not a very good thing in Spain. Any of my friends would feel embarrased if someone called them latin lovers.
> 
> saludos


 
Oh really? Well, I think in Italy if they are calling you latin lover, they are just making fun of you, hence you wouldn't be happy to be called so. But, ideally, the word in itself is not an offence. For example Rodolfo Valentino was a latin lover and nobody would laugh at him.

Saludos!


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## E180

ayupshiplad said:


> Personally, my idea of a 'latin-lover' is a very sleazy man that will hit on anything just to get laid, though particularly foreigners that are 'easy'.


That's my idea too. They are usually quite successful with young British female holidaymakers.


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## ayupshiplad

Laztana: sorry, but it's true!! About 2 months ago, a Spanish guy said to one of my friends: "Yes, I like you British girls, you...how you say? You very easy! Yes, Spanish women are very frigid but you British ones like the sex!" I thought it was hilarious! Spain's not the ONLY country that's bad for that in Europe...Greece is probably as bad, followed by Italy (sorry, Irishstar!)

Irishstar: I think a latin-lover is a negative thing for any English native. If someone described a man as a latin-lover, then you would think of a really oily man that just doesn't understand the concept of monogomy!


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## Laztana

IrishStar said:


> Oh really? Well, I think in Italy if they are calling you latin lover, they are just making fun of you, hence you wouldn't be happy to be called so. But, ideally, the word in itself is not an offence. For example Rodolfo Valentino was a latin lover and nobody would laugh at him.
> 
> Saludos!



Yeah, you sound right ...I don´t know what to think now... I wouldn't say it is considered an offence but not something particularly good either.
Valentino was a latin lover, but a smart one...when I think of a latin lover I picture in my head someone like the man in the advert...I'm confussed now

saludos


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## IrishStar

Laztana said:


> Yeah, you sound right ...I don´t know what to think now... I wouldn't say it is considered an offence but not something particularly good either.
> Valentino was a latin lover, but a smart one...when I think of a latin lover I picture in my head someone like the man in the advert...I'm confussed now
> 
> saludos


 
The man in the advert is called rattuso in my dialect (I have no idea how it is called in Italian ) and it is very different from a latin lover. The latin lover gets women just like that, he never begs for them!

Saludos!


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## Laztana

ayupshiplad said:


> Laztana: sorry, but it's true!! About 2 months ago, a Spanish guy said to one of my friends: "Yes, I like you British girls, you...how you say? You very easy! Yes, Spanish women are very frigid but you British ones like the sex!"



But did that guy match the "latin lover" profile in terms of physical appearance? or was he just flirting because he couldn't do that in Spain ? From your words I understand that a Latin lover where you live is just someone who has sex as much as possible and is mediterranean but not necessarily fit or good looking, is that true?

P.D: can I know where he was exactly from? it's just curiosity


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## Josita

In Brazil there's no latin lovers...Is only a stereotype, i think that is a thing unfashioned... But someday i'll try find one \o/


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## avok

Are you sure that Spanish men are considered to be Latin lovers? Usually the term Latin lovers (whatever that means) works for the Italian men yet I doubt if it is the reality.


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## ayupshiplad

Laztana said:


> But did that guy match the "latin lover" profile in terms of physical appearance? or was he just flirting because he couldn't do that in Spain ? From your words I understand that a Latin lover where you live is just someone who has sex as much as possible and is mediterranean but not necessarily fit or good looking, is that true?
> 
> P.D: can I know where he was exactly from? it's just curiosity


 
Hmm, well, I don't think a 'latin-lover' conjures up any particular image of a man in my head, except someone that is tanned with dark hair...which is quite common in southern Europe and South America! But yeah, basically someone that is just looking for a quick s**g.

Sorry, but I have no idea where Raoul is meant to be from! That stereotype encompasses all of Southern Europe and Latin America to us, so that only includes about 15 countries...


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## Macunaíma

_Latin_ _lovers_, assim como descritos pela ayupshiplad, existirão onde quer que haja garotas dispostas a ceder facilmente aos "encantos" desses idiotas. Nesse sentido, não são somente as britânicas as garotas fáceis. No Brasil também há algumas delas, e o comportamento dos _Teutonic lovers_ diante delas é tão ou mais repugnante que aquele descrito pela ayupshiplad. Desculpe, ayup, mas você parece ter uma tendência a construir visões estereotipadas que realmente prejudicam um entendimento saudável das coisas.

Eu acho o _latin lover_ do estereótipo descrito aqui (que, aliás, não corresponde ao estereótipo do que se entende aqui no Brasil por _latin lover_) simplesmente um otário, um babaca, como dizemos por aqui. Há babacas desse tipo até na escandinávia. Aqui no Brasil, falando por mim e por meus amigos, há quem rejeite esse tipo de comportamento primitivo e saiba tratar uma mulher com o mínimo de respeito. Geralmente, este último tipo de homem mantém distância do tipo de mulher freqüentemente vista ao lado dos _latin lovers_.

Enfim, tudo isso é um grande estereótipo ridículo. Coisa de quem vê muita TV ou precisa urgentemente melhorar sua vida social e ampliar seus contatos.


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## ayupshiplad

Macunaíma said:


> Desculpe, ayup, mas você parece ter uma tendência a construir visões estereotipadas que realmente prejudicam um entendimento saudável das coisas.


 
Sim, mas eu sei que 'latin lover' é um estereotipo, não acho que todos os homens de América do Sul sejam tanto repugnantes como você descreveu! Desculpe se parecer que accredito que todos esses homens são assim, mas você tem de entender que todos os homens 'latinos' que nos aproximam-se (que aproximam-se de nos?) são de tipo nojento então isto é a impressão que temos a tendência de ter dos homens latinos! Sabemos que é um stereotipo, e so estamos a brincar quando falarmos dos 'latin-lovers'...most of the time! I think 'latin lovers' for us do exist, but normally just in comedies in which stereotypical 'Latinos' are portrayed. No offence meant!


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## Horazio

chicalita said:


> ... Mexican and Italian men have a reputation for being quite flirtatious and bold with women...


 
I smell stereotypes here....
Anyways, I think it's more a matter of social background (education,social class...) than ethnicity.


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## Laztana

avok said:


> Are you sure that Spanish men are considered to be Latin lovers? Usually the term Latin lovers (whatever that means) works for the Italian men yet I doubt if it is the reality.



Well, in Spain they are not considered as latin lovers, that's why I've found it shocking when some people have told me otherwise, there my thread .
However, taking into account ayupshiplad's  answers ,  I think that in many european countries, anyone coming from a mediterranean country could be considered as a latin lover.


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## federicoft

chicalita said:


> I was wondering if some light can be shed on how men from different Latin cultures regard, or engage in, flirting. For example, Mexican and Italian men have a reputation for being quite flirtatious and bold with women.



No such thing like a 'Latin culture'.

Italians and Mexicans are as related between them as Jamaicans and Swedes or Belizeans and Dutch.


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## SDLX Master

As a personal comment to anyone else viewing this I would like to add that I'm in a particularly foul mood today so will apologize if anyone's been offended by my current remarks. And if anyone's been entertained please feel free to drop me a line to say so, as it may cheer me up to have amused someone.

And if anyone could answer the actual original questions I'd be really tickled [/quote]

PMS dear? We understand. 

I think I will attempt to answer your question. Yes, men do approach ladies differently, and they behave based on regional idiosyncracy rather than linguistic ones.

To name a few examples, the Mexican males usually play the role of the macho type kind of guy who loves to overwhelm and subdue the woman at all costs. Their romantic drive ranks zilch, and they have to have at least a pair of women to flirt with to feel proud of their manhood.

Going way down south and skipping Central America (no info on you guys), we could name the Venezuelan male, the typical smoochy, flirtateous guy that usually becomes a pain in the ass because he feeds so much love and romance on the lady that she gets too tired of it.

There's the Peruvian one, a Venezuelan with a smoochiness a few ounces off to have him stand his ground in front of the ladies, cocky, bold, and most of all, flirtateous.

The Argentinian male, totally pedantic, arrogant, selfish and deceiving. The type of guy that would look down on the lady and let her feel he is doing her "a favor" by courting her.

I don't have info on men from other nationalities in South America, but there's one thing I know for a fact: The above mentioned traits are general and usually a reference. Hence, don't be surprised to find guys with mixed traits, because we're only human.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Donning my moderator hat:



> Do not start threads... that discuss or invite discussion of stereotypes, generalities, prejudices...



While this thread did not quite start out along such a vein, it is now becoming an example of what does not belong in this discussion.

Please discuss this from a cultural perspective, or the thread will be closed.  Thank you for your understanding.


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## Yulia Alex

Setwale_Charm said:


> Do not be too upset, Lucyernaga! You haven`t evidently been to Russia as yet. There is a peculiar mentality here which really beats me. If a Russian man is fond of you , he`ll take pleasure in telling you all sorts of nasty things, trying to humiliate you in any way possible. After that he expects you to like him!! I wonder, if a woman is all what he calls her (often in a really bad language), why does he have to take the trouble telling her all that? And it is still far worse in the North Caucasus. But Russian women seem to like it!! And often do the same with their beloved ones. This is really a bit unique, come to think of it. Oriental men often pour compliments on you which do sound rather insincere and 'twee', but at least you know, they aspire to be liked. The Russian way is a national know-how, evidently They are a bit like little boys who push girls and grab them by their plaits as a sign of affection



Complete nonsense. I live here in Russia all my life but I have never seen anyhing of that kind. Russian men do it giving flowers, taking our moms from their country houses to the city  with al cabage and potato and apples that have had grown there and all this insane stuff. Rudeness is not normal for normally brought up Russian men.


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## Etcetera

Yulia Alex said:


> Complete nonsense. I live here in Russia all my life but I have never seen anyhing of that kind. Russian men do it giving flowers, taking our moms from their country houses to the city  with al cabage and potato and apples that have had grown there and all this insane stuff. Rudeness is not normal for normally brought up Russian men.


Yulia's absolutely right. 

Of course, men are different here, as well as in any other country, but a "normally brought up Russian man" will be giving a woman flowers and saying all kinds of compliments.

Setwale Charm, you must have met really peculiar Russian men!


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## Beautiful Princess

flirting depends on culture, conservative, liberated.. conservative culture is not same in terms of flirting from liberated culture..


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## .Nessy

In Brazil, when we think in "Latin Lovers", I guess we think about good or hot lovers, not exactaly a non-monogamic man. Personally, I think about Italian or Latin American men. Well, people use to say: "latins do it better"! ;D


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## Porteño

I have to admit that this rather long 'battle' has at least been entertaining, better than anything I can see on TV anyway.

Vanda, I'm afraid I cannot agree with you (even though I'm a Brazilian at heart). Of course, being a man, I'm not usually the subject of flirting, this being mainly a male prerogative. The famous Argentine '_piropos_' (flirtatious asides by men to women on the street( are a language in themselves. If I can find the time I'll look around to see if I can come up with some to quote. During the many years I lived (and loved) in Brazil, I never saw Brazilian men openly flirting like their counterparts here, especially in Buenos Aires.


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## Anárion

vy222 said:


> I was told that a guys in Argentina have many "amantes" even if they already have a girlfriend and that they constantly flirt with other girls. Wouldn't the girlfriend of a guy get extremely irratated?! or is it acceptable and just part of the culture?
> and since Argentinian guys (bueno, nearly all spanish-speaking men =P) are so charming and what we tend to see as flirting is in fact "normal" to them, how do you know when they are actually "flirting" with you? - like they really like you and not just being their charming self?



Well, as an argentinian girl I must say that's not true. In the whole world you'll find men who cheats on their wifes/girlfriends and men that doesn't. I don't think that being unfaithful is just an argentinian behaviour. That behaviour isn't acceptable in here, and isn't part of the culture either. And you know when a man is flirting with you because he looks and speaks at you in a "special" way.  



SDLX Master said:


> The Argentinian male, totally pedantic, arrogant, selfish and deceiving. The type of guy that would look down on the lady and let her feel he is doing her "a favor" by courting her.



Hehe... I know we (and I mean all argentinian people, both male and female) have a label that says "arrogant". Anyway, argentinian men aren't like this, that's an inaccurate generalization. I've never met a man who looked down at me or made me feel I was doing him a favor. BTW, you can find a man looking down on her girlfriend in the US, the UK, Germany or South America. 



snowflakelaia said:


> My experience is that central and south american ppl are warmer people, their personal space (distance when speaking with someone) is almost non-existent, and also, the way the speak is in a way, sweeter (using diminutives,etc) which implies closeness.
> Mediterranean people are a bit similar, but they will not do as much physical contact and closeness (of course, it's a generalizations, and there are exceptions) as the ones from the other continent.
> Oh well, this is just my experience and opinion.
> 
> have a beautiful day.
> Laia



I agree at 100%. I guess that's the best "definition" I read.


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## argentina84

vy222 said:


> I was told that a guys in Argentina have many "amantes" even if they already have a girlfriend and that they constantly flirt with other girls. Wouldn't the girlfriend of a guy get extremely irratated?! or is it acceptable and just part of the culture?
> and since Argentinian guys (bueno, nearly all spanish-speaking men =P) are so charming and what we tend to see as flirting is in fact "normal" to them, how do you know when they are actually "flirting" with you? - like they really like you and not just being their charming self?


 
I see that Argentine men have lots of fans around the world!  
I know that they are very, very good at flirting...but..what happens when you let them know that you like them? They vanish in the blink of an eye! 
hahaha

I think that, in general, Latin men are better flirters because their cultures are warmer and allow them to be more open when approaching women, but we cannot generalize. In the end, it is only an old adage.


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## jimenyta

I agree with Anárion and Porteño. 
But I have to say that for me the most flirtatious men are the *italians*. You can´t even buy a train ticket without receiving a coffee or a dance invitation from the seller.

For Porteño some classic (and very mushy) phrases that I remember:
-(walking with my mother) "so big and with a doll" or just a "mother in law" (really embarrassing, specially if your mother starts talking with the guy)
-¿do you know if Saint Peter left the door open?.. because an angel scaped
And you´ll have to translate these ones : 
-_cómo me gustaría ser papa frita... para acompañar ese lomo_
-_se te cayó un papel... el que te envuelve bombón_
...as I said before, really mushy, but if you are funny you can have luck.


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## Porteño

Fabulous Anárion, but I don't think they can really be translated, do you?
'_Oh, how I wish I was a fried potato to go with that filet', 'You dropped a piece of paper, the one you wrap the sweet in' _don't sound very good in English and they would never understand it anyway, they not being that expert in the art!


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## jinti

Porteño said:


> Fabulous Anárion, but I don't think they can really be translated, do you?
> '_Oh, how I wish I was a fried potato to go with that filet', 'You dropped a piece of paper, the one you wrap the sweet in' _don't sound very good in English and they would never understand it anyway, they not being that expert in the art!


Well, now, we do have a few.  Here's one the _papa frita_ one reminded me of:
_You want fries with that shake?_ (referring to the sway of a woman's hips when she walks)


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## jimenyta

Would´t be: "You dropped a piece of paper... the one *it wraps you *sweet"?


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## Mate

Please read o re-read the Culture Forum Guidelines:​ 


*Do not start threads:*​
- that could be answered by a simple yes or no; 

- that encourage chat (what should I get my French boyfriend for his birthday);
- that ask for homework help ;
- that ask members to contribute to research;​
- that ask about resources;

- that deal with romance, love, cooking, sports, literature, film, music or television;
*- that discuss or invite discussion of stereotypes, generalities, prejudices;*​
*- that invite lists* of your favourite book, song, movie, recipe, actor, politician, etc.;
- that request personal advice on any topic.

A list of "piropos" falls out of the scope of this forum.

Mateamargo
CD moderator


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## Prometo

This thread specifically targets "Latins" -- the perception is that Latin people are more prone to flirt than others.  However, FLIRTING has not been properly defined here.  What is "to flirt"?

The concept of a so-called Latin Lover comes originally from the USA movie industry.  In the 1920's Rudolf Valentino (Franco-Italian) became the first sex symbol, and a stereotype was created that lives to this day.  Currently, Antonio Banderas (Spanish) is the flag carrier for that idea.

Because meaning is based on usage rather than etymology, a Latin Lover in the USA today means anyone or anything that you love in a "cute, kinda fake" way.  It's how "Latin Lovers" are perceived.

What I have heard about Costa Rica is that foreign women, when alone, are under a constant barrage of indecent propositions.  My experience with Mexicans, on the other hand, is that they are not any more always on the make than your least enthusiastic Latins, like the Spaniards.  One particular problem in Spain is that the legacy of half a century of Francisco Franco -- when sex talk was taboo -- has left that nation in a sort of confusion about all matters sexual...

The PIROPO tradition, where it exists, is a very special kind of flirting that should be considered in its own terms.  In Italy this custom may have led to make the world believe erroneously that Italians are overly aggressive sexually.

Having an opportunity to travel around, I get to observe first hand what would otherwise be just themes out of my social sciences textbooks. Maine flirting is altogether a different story from flirting in Stockholm. It's evident that "flirting rules" are different in different countries because each country is likely to own its own national culture.  There really are regional cultural differences in how men and women engage each other.


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