# My dear



## ferrad

How do you say, to start an email, to address a very close friend:

My dear Allessandra

Is it:

mia cara Allessandra

or Il mia cara ... ?


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## Jana337

Definitely not "il (maschile!) mia". 

I use caro/cara. I don't know whether mio/mia is acceptable. I would perceive it as a bit to strong.

Jana


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## ferrad

Sorry Jana, I copied that from another post which was obviously masculine.

So is "My dear ..." the same as "Dear ..."? 

In English "My dear ..." is much closer.


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## Jana337

ferrad said:
			
		

> Sorry Jana, I copied that from another post which was obviously masculine.
> 
> So is "My dear ..." the same as "Dear ..."?
> 
> In English "My dear ..." is much closer.


I don't know, I am not an Italian. But to be on the safe side, I would only write mia/mio to a very, very, very close person.

Jana


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## ferrad

Now why would I want to be on the safe side  ?
I do get what you say though, I wonder what an Italian might say.


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## DiFossa

Hi!

One can use caro/cara to simply say dear.

Cara mia or Caro mio would translate into English as My dear.  It's a more affectionate, friendly, and playful manner of addressing someone.  That's how I often heard it used.  I'd wait for a native.  Hope that helped!


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## Saoul

Ciao Ragazzi,

first of all, I think Alessandra is mispelled! It's Alessandra! Just one L. 
Jana337 and DiFossa are right! 
Mia cara can be used with a very very close friend... 
It is absolutely correct, but if you are writing to someone with whom you haven't got any strong friendship, or ralationship, I'd rather say caro/cara
It's quite enough! 

Isn't it the same in English! 
An English friend of mine always writes my dearest.... and it sounds absolutely affectionate... am I minsunderstanding?


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## DiFossa

Saoul said:
			
		

> Ciao Ragazzi,
> 
> first of all, I think Alessandra is mispelled! It's Alessandra! Just one L.
> Jana337 and DiFossa are right!
> Mia cara can be used with a very very close friend...
> It is absolutely correct, but if you are writing to someone with whom you haven't got any strong friendship, or ralationship, I'd rather say caro/cara
> It's quite enough!
> 
> Isn't it the same in English!
> An English friend of mine always writes my dearest.... and it sounds absolutely affectionate... am I minsunderstanding?



No, you didn't misunderstand.  The same holds true in English. Also, it would sound more proper and poolished to say "whom you do not have a strong friendship."  Haven't got any is correct, but doesn't sound good in that context.


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## Saoul

Thanks a lot DiFossa!

I'll remember this next time...
and I also "the same holds true in English"... didn't know that expression! 

So, let's say I thank you twice!


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## ferrad

Yes, that was a made up name, to protect the identity, sorry about the misspelling.



			
				Saoul said:
			
		

> Ciao Ragazzi,
> 
> first of all, I think Alessandra is mispelled! It's Alessandra! Just one L.


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## ferrad

Just thought of this, would "my dear" be "mia cara" or "cara mia" ?


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## Idioteque

ferrad said:
			
		

> Just thought of this, would "my dear" be "mia cara" or "cara mia" ?


"Mia cara".  "Cara mia" has a different connotation: it may be either ironical or "exhortative". I'll provide some examples to clarify my confusing explanation :
1. "Mia cara Giulia, come va?" "My dear Giulia, what's up?" (in letters. It's a little bit too emphatic, at least in my opinion! )
2. "Cara mia, è ora che affronti la realtà!" "My friend/honey (???), it's time you face the truth"
3. "Cara mia, se non ti sbrighi mi farai perdere il treno!" "Honey, if you don't hurry up, I'll miss the train!"

I don't know if I I'm capable to explain the ironic nuance in the second and in the third sentence... The apparent affection of the adjective "caro" reinforced by the possessive pronoun is somehow denied by the sharp tone of the following clause: in the second sentence, the speaker exhorts the woman to face the truth (that's to say, she has behaved in a superficial/naive way since now); in the third sentence, the speaker exhorts the speaker to hurry up, with a tone of reproach...

Was I clear? 

Hope it helps (and it makes sense!  )

Laura

P.S: Corrections are obviously welcome!


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## ferrad

So "cara mia" sounds more scolding, like there's a problem.
As in, my dear, what have you done?

I need to enhance my affection for the lady, looks like I need "mia cara"
As in: my dear Alessandra, you mean so much to me...


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## DiFossa

I wouldn't say scolding... it can be sarcastistic, playful, or used to make a dramatic point.  It honestly depends on the situation... for instance, when I ask an older women to let me walkt past her in a grocery store in Venice, she shot me a look and said "Oh no caro mio."    "Oh no My Dear!!"  It was a was to be scarcastic and dramatic, but not down right rude.


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## ferrad

OK, but for my needs, it appears that "mia cara" is what I need.


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## FrancescaVR

Yes. (-:

Cara is use to address female while caro is for male. Cara means dear. Mia cara means my dear. Carissima/carissimo means dearest. 
(-:


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## FrancescaVR

Idioteque said:
			
		

> "Mia cara".  "Cara mia" has a different connotation: it may be either ironical or "exhortative". I'll provide some examples to clarify my confusing explanation :
> 1. "Mia cara Giulia, come va?" "My dear Giulia, what's up?" (in letters. It's a little bit too emphatic, at least in my opinion! )
> 2. "Cara mia, è ora che affronti la realtà!" "My friend/honey (???), it's time you face the truth"
> 3. "Cara mia, se non ti sbrighi mi farai perdere il treno!" "Honey, if you don't hurry up, I'll miss the train!"
> 
> I don't know if I I'm capable to explain the ironic nuance in the second and in the third sentence... The apparent affection of the adjective "caro" reinforced by the possessive pronoun is somehow denied by the sharp tone of the following clause: in the second sentence, the speaker exhorts the woman to face the truth (that's to say, she has behaved in a superficial/naive way since now);(Did you mean until?) in the third sentence, the speaker exhorts the speaker to hurry up, with a tone of reproach...
> 
> Was I clear?
> 
> Hope it helps (and it makes sense!  )
> 
> Laura
> 
> P.S: Corrections are obviously welcome!


===============

since now);Did you mean until?
I hope you dont mind it Laura (-:


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## xdav

By the way...I have an other question about this subject...
I understood the meaning of "my dear" in those sentences you wrote...but what does "my dear" means when you use it in a sentence like:

"have you had a good day, my dear?"
or
"how are you, my dear?"

....is it something you say to a friend close to you?
Something more affectionated like "how are you honey"?
Or is it something a bit formal?


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## lsp

xdav said:


> By the way...I have an other question about this subject...
> I understood the meaning of "my dear" in those sentences you wrote...but what does "my dear" means when you use it in a sentence like:
> 
> "have you had a good day, my dear?"
> or
> "how are you, my dear?"
> 
> ....is it something you say to a friend close to you?
> Something more affectionated like "how are you honey"?
> Or is it something a bit formal?


"My dear" is very old-fashioned, at least in AE. I'd use it sarcastically more than anything else, both spoken or written.


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## xdav

lsp said:


> "My dear" is very old-fashioned, at least in AE. I'd use it sarcastically more than anything else, both spoken or written.


Yeah that's what I thought also...it seems to be old-fashioned...in italy when you ask "come va, mio caro/a?" (how are you, my dear?) it's a bit formal..an adult can say this to a teenager...
But I also think that maybe the meaning depends by the country where you are, or the city where you live...in USA it could be old-fashioned and in UK it could be something becoming "slang"..
For example recently in my city the young people use to say to a close friend "ciao vecchio, come va?" (hi old(friend), how are you?) it's something old-fashioned, but it's because of this it's becoming something "new"......
I hope I had explained it well....I'm not so good in writing in english


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## lsp

xdav said:


> Yeah that's what I thought also...it seems to be old-fashioned...in italy when you ask "come va, mio caro/a?" (how are you, my dear?) it's a bit formal..an adult can might say this to a teenager...
> But I also think that maybe the meaning depends by (depends *on* or varies *by*) the country where you are, or the city where you live...in USA it could be old-fashioned and in UK it could be something becoming "slang"..
> For example recently in my city the young people use have started (because you said _recently_) to say to a close friend "ciao vecchio, come va?" (hi old(friend), how are you?) it's something old-fashioned, but it's because of this it's becoming something "new"......
> I hope I had explained it well....I'm not so good in writing in english


Perfectly clear, and I agree.


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## claudine2006

ferrad said:


> How do you say, to start an email, to address a very close friend:
> 
> My dear Alessandra
> 
> Is it:
> 
> Mia cara Alessandra
> 
> or La mia cara ... ?


Cara Alessandra,
Mia cara Alessandra,
are both fine.
But we usually use: Ciao Alessandra!


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## xdav

lsp said:


> Originally Posted by *xdav*
> 
> 
> Yeah that's what I thought also...it seems to be old-fashioned...in italy when you ask "come va, mio caro/a?" (how are you, my dear?) it's a bit formal..an adult can might say this to a teenager...
> But I also think that maybe the meaning depends by (depends *on* or varies *by*) the country where you are, or the city where you live...in USA it could be old-fashioned and in UK it could be something becoming "slang"..
> For example recently in my city the young people use have started (because you said _recently_) to say to a close friend "ciao vecchio, come va?" (hi old(friend), how are you?) it's something old-fashioned, but it's because of this it's becoming something "new"......
> I hope I had explained it well....I'm not so good in writing in english


 
ahahah...ops...just some error   
anyway, thanks lsp!


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## john le huggy hippy

Ciao peep's,

How do you start and end letters to girl friends, like when the Spanish write con beso's y abrazos?

Could someone give me a suggestion please?
could i write cara mia at the start? instead of ciao bella?

ciao, john.


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## Alxmrphi

I'd suggest it'd be "ciao", or like you said "Ciao bella"
or REALLY informally (and I think considered quite cheeky by some)
"Ciao bambola!" I've heard Italian guys refer to girls like that.

Cara mia "My dear" ... would you use that to a girlfriend in England? Didn't think so

Welcome to the forum.


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## Paulfromitaly

Ciao bella, ciao tesoro, ciao gioia...


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## Alxmrphi

not "bambola" ?


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## winnie

Welcome to WRF John! (don't forget to capitalize 'i' please).

Coming to your question, it depends on what kind of relationship you are.
If the girl is only a good friend you would start with something along:
mia cara
carissima

ciao bella can be used either but it is more colloquial, maybe I would spare it for the end of the letter.


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## Alxmrphi

winnie said:


> Welcome to WRF John! (don't forget to capitalize 'i' please).
> 
> Coming to your question, it depends on what kind of relationship you are.
> If the girl is only a good friend you would start with something along:
> mia cara
> carissima
> 
> ciao bella can be used either but it is more colloquial, maybe I would spare it for the end of the letter.



Carissima, isn't considered extremely cheesey in Italian?


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## winnie

Alex_Murphy said:


> Carissima, isn't considered extremely cheesey in Italian?


 
No, at least to my understanding but now I'm curious about what younger people think of it.

EDIT: bambola, don't use it unless your relation is very very good and the girl knows you like to joke/kid


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## Alxmrphi

Younger English people or Italians?


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## winnie

Alex_Murphy said:


> Younger English people or Italians?


Italians of course.


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## Paulfromitaly

Alex_Murphy said:


> not "bambola" ?



You could also say bambola, but you need to know the girl you're talking to quite well..
Whereas you can address a British girl as baby, hunni, babes also after a 5 minute chat, Italian girls are usually not so easy going and laid back (ladies, I know it's a generalization but I just want to spare Alex a slap or a  vaffanculo ), so be sure of how a girl would interpret your words..


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## artois

About the end of the letters we use "Baci e abbracci" in Italian too but it's usually written at the end of postcards. You can simply write "Un bacio", of "Un abbraccio". Actually is pretty odd "Tuo" that's like the Enlglish "Yours (truly)".


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## claudine2006

I prefer "cara" o "carissima".
I don't like guys who call girls "bambola", "gioia".


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## Paulfromitaly

claudine2006 said:


> I prefer "cara" o "carissima".
> I don't like guys who call girls "bambola", "gioia".



That's what I was on about, Alex..


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## Nate in California

> Heya peep's, thanxks for the replies,
> 
> 
> but how do peep's end with an informal reply, as in when ze French write;
> 
> 'je t' embrasse, grosse bisses' etc etc
> 
> Besos y abrazos, john x


 
For the love of god, if you're trying to impress this girl, do not call her "bambola." 

As for your last question, you could use something like "Un abbraccione," "baci," "Un bacio," or "un bacione."


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## Paulfromitaly

Nate in California said:


> For the love of god, if you're trying to impress this girl, do not call her "bambola."
> 
> As for your last question, you could use something like "Un abbraccione un grosso abbraccio (it sounds better)," "baci," "Un bacio," or "un bacione."


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## Nate in California

Thanks Paul!


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## Becksylou

Paulfromitaly said:


> You could also say bambola, but you need to know the girl you're talking to quite well..
> Whereas you can address a British girl as baby, hunni, babes also after a 5 minute chat, Italian girls are usually not so easy going and laid back (ladies, I know it's a generalization but I just want to spare Alex a slap or a  vaffanculo ), so be sure of how a girl would interpret your words..


 
Just for the record, if a bloke called me baby or babes after a five minute chat (or hunni ever!) I would assume he was gay! )


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## Paulfromitaly

Becksylou said:


> Just for the record, if a bloke called me baby or babes after a five minute chat (or hunni ever!) I would assume he was gay! )



Let's say after a ten minute chat then.. (joking)


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