# Too kind — やさしすぎる



## Ariander

In English, it is somewhat common to say something like "Oh, you are too kind." to respond modestly to a compliment.
Does the phrase "やさしすぎる" correlate in Japanese?  Or would this have a negative connotation, like "You are being insincere, overly kind"?
If this is indeed the case, what would a better way to receive compliments be?  Would "ありがとう”　(etc) be the best thing to say?


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## cheshire

We can't say あなたはやさしすぎる。when it's meant as a compliment. You can say ありがとう or あなたはやさしいですね。親切にどうもありがとう。


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## narumaru

Hi, Ariander.

cheshire is right! 

Alternatively you could also say:
  You are too kind. 本当にご親切なことで(hontouni gosinsetu na kotode)。
 過ぎた光栄です(Sugita kouei desu)。

hope this helps


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## almostfreebird

やさしすぎる is used in a situation like this:


 Saleswoman: You're a very handsome gentleman and and looks so young I can't believe you're 70. 

Rich old man: Nah, I'm not young. These days I've got a terrible backache.

Saleswoman: That's too bad. Let me give you a massage. I'll do anything for you, darling.

Then the rich old man talks to himself, "kanojo (wa) yasashi sugiru. nan(i)ka takurande(i)ru ni chigainai. ki o tsukenakutewa"(She is too kind. She must be plotting something. You gotta be careful.)


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## Flaminius

Some expressions to receive compliments with:
まだまだです。
It is to the effect that you are not yet [maybe far away from] worthy of the compliments.  The implication is that you intend to strive more.

そんなことありません[けど]。
"It is not so."   This phrase often used in the softened with _kedo_ at the end.

いーえー。
It is literally, "No."  Used often in combination as a precursor to other expressions such as above.  It looks rather stupid when written down (which seldom happens) but is a very good response in an oral communication.  The second syllable is pronounced with a higher pitch.

If you want to be rather formal;
過分な[ or 勿体ない]お言葉です。 OR
Your words are beyond my worth.

過分なお褒めにあずかり、恐縮です。 OR
Receiving your beyond-my-worth words, I am at a loss how to appreciate.
I found 恐縮 hard to translate.  This translation is rather free and tentative.


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## Flaminius

I find やさしい more akin to gentle, soft, tender and benign; than kind.  Not that やさしすぎる is never "insincerely sweet" but I find it more often used as over-indulgent, too lenient, or indecisive.

E.g., 係長、あなたが優しすぎるから、部下がいつまでたっても育たないんです。


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## Hiro Sasaki

Ariander said:


> In English, it is somewhat common to say something like "Oh, you are too kind." to respond modestly to a compliment.
> Does the phrase "やさしすぎる" correlate in Japanese? Or would this have a negative connotation, like "You are being insincere, overly kind"?
> If this is indeed the case, what would a better way to receive compliments be? Would "ありがとう”　(etc) be the best thing to say?


 

やさしすぎる　is no "too kind". but "excessively kind". It will bring about 
negative results in a way or other. 


Hiroaki Sasaki


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## almostfreebird

I wonder if "be too kind" can mean "be kind more than reasonable or necessary" in English depending on context or not.


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## Hiro Sasaki

almostfreebird said:


> I wonder if "be too kind" can mean "be kind more than reasonable or necessary" in English depending on context or not.


 
More exactly, the expression has a connotation that you must be
a hard father or hard boss. A little bit different from 甘い顔を見せる
which is similar to やさしすぎる

Hiro Sasaki


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## Flaminius

Moderator note:
A more general discussion about "adjective + sugiru" has been moved here.

Let's keep up the great discussion there.  
Flam


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## yellow crow

almostfreebird said:


> I wonder if "be too kind" can mean "be kind more than reasonable or necessary" in English depending on context or not.


 
To be "too nice" can sometimes mean "unreasonably kind/nice."  But I think that calling someone "too kind" is almost never negative.


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## KiPo

If you want to express gratefulness for things or help you have received by saying "you're too kind".

Couldn't you only just say: 
ごうも、ご丁寧に。
Dômo, goteinei ni.

But this probably is more used by people superior or equal to the giver (e.g. elderly people)

In many cases you'll find Japanese actually apologizing rather than saying thank you, apologizing that they cause you so many circumstances. So it really depends on the situtation.

すみません。気を遣わせてしまって…
　　　　　　き  つか

If anybody praises your or your family you are supposed to be humble and not straight out accept it. So, if someone say that you're Japanese is supergreat you could say:

とんでもありません。まだまだです。

About the やさしすぎる:
In English you could probably say "You're too forgiving". If you tell a father or teacher that he is やさしすぎる. …すぎる usually has a critical/negative undertone.


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