# asking for hand in marriage



## wridzer

Hej!

I'm thinking about popping the big question to my Polish girlfriend, but would like to ask her father/parents for her hand first.

Can anyone tell me how?

Thanks!


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## .Jordi.

Ok, that's the most basic way to say it: "Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa córki". 
If you want something more romantic, you'll have to give us an exact frase to translate. Otherwise, for me, it would difficult what to say, since I have never ever asked for someone's hand .


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## Piotr_WRF

.Jordi. said:


> Ok, that's the most basic way to say it: "Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa córki".



Just a small remark to Jordi's example: You would say _Państwa_ if you address both of the parents, if it's only the father you'd use _Pana_ and if it's only the mother you'd say _Pani_.

Beside that, I don't know how common it is in Poland nowadays to ask the parents first, I've never asked the guys I know and who got married in the last few years if they first went to the parents of their future spouse.


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## arturolczykowski

That's true. The world has changed. What a shame....


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## wridzer

Yeah well, I like it the oldfashioned way anyway 
Think my girlfriend and her parents would appreciate that too.
What exactly would your sentence mean?
I was thinking something along the lines of:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. ... (I think you would use first names in Polish?), I would like to ask your permission/blessing for asking your daughter to marry me.

But maybe there's a standard way of saying it, in that case that might be better.
Then I just hope I will be able to understand the answer (and that it's positive of course)


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## Thomas1

wridzer said:


> Yeah well, I like it the oldfashioned way anyway
> Think my girlfriend and her parents would appreciate that too.
> What exactly would your sentence mean?


Literally, "Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa córki". means I would like to ask for your daughter's hand.



> I was thinking something along the lines of:
> Dear Mr. and Mrs. ... (I think you would use first names in Polish?), I would like to ask your permission/blessing for asking your daughter to marry me.


I think the suggested version is just fine. If you want to add the part about the blessing you can say:
_"Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa córki i Państwa błogosławieństwo." _
However, I still think it would be more natural to hear _"Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa córki". _though it may be my personal preference as I hear such formulations rarely.



> But maybe there's a standard way of saying it, in that case that might be better.
> Then I just hope I will be able to understand the answer (and that it's positive of course)


Well, there may be many answers to this. 

Tom


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## vatreno

arturolczykowski said:


> That's true. The world has changed. What a shame....





arturolczykowski said:


> That's true. The world has changed. What a shame....



I do not know about you but this, I thought, was expected in every culture and circumstance. It is especially important to ask in her parent's language, out of respect.

Good luck WRIDZER


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## chris999

Hi. I know this is quite an old thread so I hope I will get a reply! 

I've been dating my girlfriend for some time now and I'm thinking about asking her to marry me. I think she would really appreciate it if I asked her mother first. I've picked up a bit of Polish but still have some problems with pronunciation! I was wondering if anyone would be able to post an mp3 of the phrase in question? It would really help me out a lot!

Thanks


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## Ben Jamin

wridzer said:


> Hej!
> 
> I'm thinking about popping the big question to my Polish girlfriend, but would like to ask her father/parents for her hand first.
> 
> Can anyone tell me how?
> 
> Thanks!


I think that it has been a custom in Poland (at least 250 years) to ask the bride to be first. What good is to ask the parents if the woman herself does not want?
Asking the parents first is typical of extremely patriarchal societies, like for example in Central and South Asia, where the woman has nothing to say. I think, that asking the parents first would be an offence to the woman.
Besides, I do not think that men ask the parents of their girlfriends for her hand nowadays. I married my wife in 1977, and at that time never heard about anybody doing such a thing. The young couple that has decided to marry just communicate that to their respective parents: "Kochani (rodzice), postanowiliśmy się pobrać".


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## Ben Jamin

Piotr_WRF said:


> Just a small remark to Jordi's example: You would say _Państwa_ if you address both of the parents, if it's only the father you'd use _Pana_ and if it's only the mother you'd say _Pani_.
> 
> Beside that, I don't know how common it is in Poland nowadays to ask the parents first, I've never asked the guys I know and who got married in the last few years if they first went to the parents of their future spouse.


  Chciałbym prosić Pani*ą*/Pan*a* (nie prosić Pani)


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## majlo

arturolczykowski said:


> That's true. The world has changed. What a shame....


I would say fortunately.


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## Cynthia F

chris999 said:


> Hi. I know this is quite an old thread so I hope I will get a reply!
> 
> I've been dating my girlfriend for some time now and I'm thinking about asking her to marry me. I think she would really appreciate it if I asked her mother first. I've picked up a bit of Polish but still have some problems with pronunciation! I was wondering if anyone would be able to post an mp3 of the phrase in question? It would really help me out a lot!
> 
> Thanks



Try this website:

http://www.ivona.com/index.php 

Pick the Polish flag and it'll speak to you!

GOOD LUCK!


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## linguos

I agree with Ben Jamin. It may not be such a good idea, to ask the mother of the bride first.

It's much better to propose to the girl and inform her parents later.


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## majlo

To my experience, asking the parents "first" (inverted commas because everything had been set up with the wife to be anyway) is not non-existent.


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## linguos

Yep, but then it's fake and I guess Chris999 wants it all to be the romantic and old-fashioned way.


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## chris999

Thanks for the replies  

Yes. I would like to do this the old-fashioned way. I think it would start me on the right foot with her mother! We'll be visiting her shortly! The text to speech site is a start but it would be really helpful if I could get an audio file of someone actually speaking the phrase! I obviously can't ask my girlfriend or it would spoil the surprise.

Thanks

Edit: I'm not asking to marry her daughter. Just for her mother's blessing to ask my girlfriend. I've been told by my girlfriend that I would have to ask her mother first!


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## Piotr_WRF

Ben Jamin said:


> Chciałbym prosić Pani*ą*/Pan*a* (nie prosić Pani)



Ale zdanie, do którego nawiązywałem, brzmiało "Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa/Pana/Pani córki".


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## Ben Jamin

Piotr_WRF said:


> Ale zdanie, do którego nawiązywałem, brzmiało "Chciałbym prosić o rękę Państwa/Pana/Pani córki".


OK. It was not quite clear from the context. Someone could misunderstand, and I did.


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## eleannor

chris999 said:


> I'm not asking to marry her daughter. Just for her mother's blessing to ask my girlfriend. I've been told by my girlfriend that I would have to ask her mother first!



How about _zamierzam oświadczyć się Pani córce, więc chciałbym prosić o Pani błogosławieństwo_ (I'm going to propose to your daughter, so I'd like to ask for your blessing)?


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