# Shiri ni shikareru



## ThomasK

Can someone tell me whether this is indeed a reference to a bossy woman, and what parts it is made up of ? (Thanks)


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## Wishfull

Shiri = hip
ni = on
shiku = sit
shikareru= be sit (passive)

Do you know Japanese-cushion?
*Japanese people sit on cushions on the floor.*
Make it to passive tense.
*Cushions are sit on by Japanese people.
*

Here,
shiri ni shikareru=Japanese-cushions (figurative sense)

部長は奥さんのしりにしかれている
bucho wa okusan no shiri ni shikarete iru.

*My boss's wife sit on my boss.*
Please imagine it......
So his wife is surely a bossy woman, right?


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## ThomasK

Great explanation: so your cushions are things that are sat on [on the hip], when we interpret the word. So does your sentence then mean something like : _the boss [is 'bucho' based on 'boss'] is a cushion for (his) wife_ ? A 'henpecked husband', I understand then. 

But then the expression is referring more to the 'victim' ;-) than to the woman, isn't it? He is some kind of a softie, he allows his wife to sit on him.  Can you call a woman-victim (oppressed) a _shiri ... ? _


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## Wishfull

ThomasK said:


> Great explanation: so your cushions are things that are sat on [on the hip], when we interpret the word. So does your sentence then mean something like : _the boss [is 'bucho' based on 'boss'] is a cushion for (his) wife_ ?
> *YES. *
> 
> A 'henpecked husband', I understand then.
> *Yes, exactly it is!*
> 
> But then the expression is referring more to the 'victim' ;-) than to the woman, isn't it? He is some kind of a softie, he allows his wife to sit on him.  Can you call a woman-victim (oppressed) a _shiri ... ? _



Hi. The origin of that expression is my cushion-story, but it is figurative one.
Actually, about husband-and-wife-relationship, it means that the wife almost always have the initiative what to decide according to family matter.

For example, what shall we eat for our dinner? My wife decides.
Where are we going to go for our vacation? She will decide.
Which model of TV set shall we buy? My wife decides.  
Who will decide our family rule?  She will. etc.
Yet the relation is within normal limit, of course.
Abnormal relationship is called for example, 部長は奥さんに虐待されている。(bucho wa okusan ni gyakutai sarete iru.)

The opposite word of 尻に敷かれる　is 亭主関白　（teishu-kanpaku)(ていしゅかんぱく）(husband rules the roost)
部長は亭主関白だ。⇔　部長は奥さんの尻に敷かれている。

亭主関白　is only used in husband-and-wife relation.
尻に敷かれる　is used mainly in husband-and-wife-relation, but may be used in other relation, such as business-partner.

edit; 亭主関白　＆　家庭内暴力(katei-nai bouryoku)（domestic violence DV) are completely different things, of course.


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## ThomasK

Very interesting, though I am not sure I can follow. I had understood 'cushion' in a figurative sense indeed, and yes, it it quite what we also mean by that. (I started up a thread at All languages for that reason)

You do make me curious about the 'opposite word': is _tieshu-kanpaku_ some kind of metaphor as well? And how about the other words for business-relations (could you spell it in _romanji_, as you call it, I believe)?


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## Wishfull

Hi.
Thank you for reading my rather long post.
///////

teishu=husband

Do you know shogun?
Shogun was the most high rank person's status name in Japan at Edo-era. Shogun governed Japan.
Kanpaku was the most high rank person's status name in Japan at Azuchi-momoyama-era, which was just before Edo-era. Kanpaku governed Japan.

So kanpaku is the most high rank person.
teishu kanpaku means that the husband is the most high rank (in his family member).
The husband governs his family.

I think teishu-kanpaku is a kind of figurative expression, because there is no Kanpaku in today's Japan.

////////////
About business relations;
If a man and a woman are business partners, and the man has the initiative, 
what is it called?   Well, I don't know.
There might not be special idiomatic expression on that.
Because it is quite natural phenomenon in Japan.

Hope this helps.


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## ThomasK

Very interesting, thanks. Haha, we are discovering some underlying assumptions here. 

But could you still comment on _*katei-nai bouryoku*_, especially on the precise meaning ? Thanks a lot !


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## Wishfull

Hi.
*katei-nai bouryoku*(domestic violence;DV) is almost always done by husband to his wife, or father to his child, or mother to her child. It is usually physical violence, but it may include mental violence, such as neglect. The victim is physically injured, or mentally injured, so he/she has to go to hospital and police. It is a criminal.
I believe it is against the law in many advanced countries.
So the definition is something like; DV is an illegal violence within family members.
How about my definition?

Oh, sorry, what you want might be this?;
katei=family
nai=within, in
bouryoku=violence
_*violence within (the) family*_

shirini-siku and teishu-kanpaku are, of course, not criminal, nor illegal.


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## ThomasK

Great information.  But that is really tragical, I understand. Arigate !


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## Wishfull

You're welcome. dou-itashimashite!
I also enjoy reading your another thread.


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## ThomasK

You know, W, my Tingo book tells me this _*shiri...*_ literally means : _under your buttocks_. Would you accept that as correct as well ? Of course: (certain) cushion are meant to be sat on, but...


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## Wishfull

Wishfull said:


> *Shiri = hip
> ni = on
> shiku = sit*
> *shikareru= be sit (passive)*
> 
> Do you know Japanese-cushion?
> *Japanese people sit on cushions on the floor.*
> Make it to passive tense.
> *Cushions are sit on by Japanese people.
> *
> 
> Here,
> shiri ni shikareru=Japanese-cushions (figurative sense)



Oh, sorry, my explanation was not good.
It might lead you misleading.

"Under *her* buttocks/hip"  is correct.

_shiri ni shikareru=Japanese-cushions (figurative sense)_
is not good explanation.
_husband=Japanese-cushions (figurative sense) _
is more correct.

_*He is under her buttocks, just like cushions under her buttocks.*_ is more correct explanation, I think.
*The husband is regard as just cushion under her buttocks by his wife.*

There is no direct Japanese word which means "cushion" in the original Japanese expression.
So "under her buttocks" is much accurate than my cushion story.
I used "cushion" for better understanding, but to the contrary, it makes the matter worse. Sorry.


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## ThomasK

No problem ! But I'll ask something in another tread !


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