# wife



## Dawei

Is 妻子 the only way to say wife? I thought I remembered reading somewhere that you can also say 小姐, but my dictionary doesn't seem to confirm this. 

Also, is it true that 爱人 is used only in Taiwan, and that it can mean both husband and wife? 

Thanks


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## samanthalee

爱人 was used in China. (I learnt that from old movies.)
小姐, means mademoiselle, but in recent years have acquired an association  with paid escorts (who usually also provide sexual services) in China.

There are many words that mean wife
妻子
太太
老婆
内人
内子
贤内助
  娘子 (archaic but poetic) 
  夫人 (archaic)
孩儿他娘
媳妇
贱内 (very humble, but it's not wise to use it in the presence of the wife herself)
母老虎 (that fierce woman, not wise to use in the presence of the wife herself)


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## notnotchris

I found 老婆 to be the term used most often (colloquially) when I was in China. but I think this is regional. It's the female version of 老公 (husband). These terms came from Cantonese but they seem to be used widely on the mainland in Mandarin too.


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## notnotchris

Sorry to double reply, but I'd like to second samanthalee's comment on 小姐. This term is acceptable in Southern China (it means Miss, and is used to call a waitress, shopkeeper or other young woman) but it's very offensive in the north because it has that 'prostitute' connotation. In mid-China (Shanghai area) some find it offensive and some don't.

It doesn't mean wife though.


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## chloe1512

in fact , 爱人, it is not only be used in Taiwan . You can hear it sometimes in mainland of China . it seems usually be called in Beijing or Shanghai , i forgot .


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## Dawei

Thanks everyone, it is much clearer now


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## Staarkali

in Shanghai, 小姐 is completely acceptable, even more it's the formal way of addressing an young female stranger.

To comment Samantha's post, I'd say in my deepest opinion _escort _in English equals lady escort for male customers most of the time, with the suggested "massage"  services that implies (some native speakers may confirm or not), whereas in French _escorte _clearly means accompany in English or 陪伴 in Chinese.


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## cbaker

Where I lived in 陕西，older people often asked me "有媳妇儿没？" "yǒu xífur méi?" "Do you have a wife?", as samathalee already mentioned. The dictionary says that "媳妇" means "daughter-in-law", so I'm guessing this usage is non-standard?


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## Mugi

> The dictionary says that "媳妇" means "daughter-in-law", so I'm guessing this usage is non-standard?


媳妇 (xífù) means "daughter-in-law"; 媳妇儿 (xífur) means "wife".



> I found 老婆 to be the term used most often (colloquially) when I was in China. but I think this is regional. It's the female version of 老公 (husband). These terms came from Cantonese but they seem to be used widely on the mainland in Mandarin too.



What do you mean these terms came from Cantonese? I think you'll find that, at least in the case of 老婆, that it is a native term to many dialects across China.



> 小姐 ... [is] ... very offensive in the north because it has that 'prostitute' connotation.


Surely this depends on context. It was still an acceptable term in Beijing a couple of years ago, but I guess that may have changed. So how does one address a young woman in northern China now, in particular a waitress or store assisstant, without using the stiff 服务员?


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## samanthalee

I'm not trying to confuse anyone, but I think in Mandarin 媳妇 means _wife_ while _daughter-in-law_ is 儿媳妇. You will notice that 媳妇儿 is the 儿化 version of 媳妇, hence indicating it's used in the Northern Chinese region. When you refer to wife of A, you may call her A媳妇 (I've just learnt that from watching a drama serial from Beijing )

However, in my mother language of Minnan, spoken in southern parts of China, 媳妇 means _daughter-in-law_. This meaning of 媳妇 may have influenced its meaning in Mandarin usage in the South.


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## Kwunlam

samanthalee said:


> I'm not trying to confuse anyone, but I think in Mandarin 媳妇 means _wife_ while _daughter-in-law_ is 儿媳妇. You will notice that 媳妇儿 is the 儿化 version of 媳妇, hence indicating it's used in the Northern Chinese region. When you refer to wife of A, you may call her A媳妇 (I've just learnt that from watching a drama serial from Beijing )
> 
> However, in my mother language of Minnan, spoken in southern parts of China, 媳妇 means _daughter-in-law_. This meaning of 媳妇 may have influenced its meaning in Mandarin usage in the South.


 
Samantha, I guess what you witness from the drama might be an instance of "dialectical usage". It is legitimate as a dialectical usage; but I do have doubts when you say " in Mandarin 媳妇 means _wife_ ".  Hm... It could mean this, but it is not its most basic meaning. 

I suppose 《現代漢語詞典》 is authoritative enough in Mainland China. So I quote the entry for reference here. Any comments are welcomed. 


＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝
《現代漢語詞典》：

［媳婦］
1. 兒子的妻子，也叫兒媳婦兒
2. 晚輩親屬的妻子（前面加晚輩稱呼）：侄媳婦，孫媳婦。

［媳婦兒］
1. 〈方言詞〉妻子
2. 泛指已婚的年輕婦女

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

《台灣辭典》：

媳婦

1. 稱謂。稱兒子的妻子。元史˙卷一一六˙后妃傳二˙裕宗徽仁裕聖皇后傳：「后性孝謹，善事中宮，世祖每稱之為賢德媳婦。」紅樓夢˙第五十七回：「媽明兒和老太太說，求了他作媳婦，豈不比外頭尋的好？」 

2. 妻子。元˙無名氏˙漁樵記˙楔子：「你休了媳婦兒？兄弟，你如今可往那去？」老殘遊記˙第六回：「後來不但他閨女算了王三的媳婦，就連那點小房子也算了王三的產業。」3. 婦人自謙的稱呼。永樂大典戲文三種˙張協狀元˙第四十五出：「媳婦建官人，官人莫是貧女親？」


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## samanthalee

Oh dear. I guess the confused one is me.


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## Lugubert

I take great comfort in the preface to Routledge's "Colloquial Chinese":


			
				P.C. T'ung said:
			
		

> When we are incautious to say 'always' we mean 'nearly always', and when we say 'never' we mean 'hardly ever'.


My teacher used to say, when confronted with an unexpected but not obviously wrong translation into Chinese, "I can't guarantee that you'll never find a Chinese saying it that way, but if you stick to the way our book prefers, you probably at least won't be too wrong."


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