# Single (woman)



## jamtland76

How do you say single when referred to a woman? The dictionary translation "незамужняя" sounds to me like "not married"... uhm... as if there was only the choice married-not married...


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## morzh

jamtland76 said:


> How do you say single when referred to a woman? The dictionary translation "незамужняя" sounds to me like "not married"... uhm... as if there was only the choice married-not married...



Well, speaking of English (you asked in English, so...)
"Single" in English does mean "unmarried", even in the politically-correct liberated-emancipated  US.

So "незамужняя" is exactly that.
The synonym is "холостая".


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## Maroseika

jamtland76 said:


> Has if there was only the choice married-not married...




But what is in fact the choice? Isn't anyone either married or unmarried? Or maybe you mean viduity or divorce? In this case she is вдова or разведенная (разведена, в разводе). In what else sense one can be single?


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## vnn

morzh said:


> The synonym is "холостая".


There's no such word in Russian.


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## Awwal12

vnn said:


> There's no such word in Russian.


Actually there is, despite it's a colloquialism and I wouldn't recommend it for use.


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## Natalisha

jamtland76 said:


> How do you say single when referred to a woman?




It depends. Sometimes we say _одинокая женщина_.


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## elemika

jamtland76 said:


> How do you say single when referred to a woman? The dictionary translation "незамужняя" sounds to me like "not married"... uhm... as if there was only the choice married-not married...


It could be also "одинокая женщина".

Oops
Too late...


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## Maroseika

vnn said:


> There's no such word in Russian.



According to the dictionaries холостая is obsolete and холостячка is colloquial.


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## morzh

vnn said:


> There's no such word in Russian.



Archaic or colloquial, yes. Non-existing - no.
*Значение слова «холостая»* (from Efremova)

*Ударение:* холоста́я


 _ж. устар._
Женщина, которая не состоит в браке; незамужняя.
 
 _прил. устар._
Не состоящая в браке; незамужняя.


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## yoysl

morzh said:


> Well, speaking of English (you asked in English, so...)
> "Single" in English does mean "unmarried", even in the politically-correct liberated-emancipated  US.



Well, being single _entails_ that you are unmarried, but the converse isn't true: you are unmarried but not single when you have a boyfriend. So the question is about how you describe an unmarried girl who doesn't have a boyfriend.

I think I've usually heard people say this indirectly in Russian (e.g. у нее нет парня), but I think одинокая девушка conveys the same meaning. Native speakers will correct me.


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## Maroseika

Одинокая is a bit bookish, but means exactly what you mean.


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## morzh

yoysl said:


> Well, being single _entails_ that you are unmarried, but the converse isn't true: you are unmarried but not single when you have a boyfriend. So the question is about how you describe an unmarried girl who doesn't have a boyfriend.
> 
> I think I've usually heard people say this indirectly in Russian (e.g. у нее нет парня), but I think одинокая девушка conveys the same meaning. Native speakers will correct me.




Well, here's a discussion exactly about this:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100823190542AASsL4m*
"**If you're dating someone, are you still single?*"

Many people, especially men  consider staus of a dating person to be "single", saying that if one is not married he or she is single. And then, of course, it is up to you whether to call yourself single when talking to other people.

Here's from a dict.

*a. * Unmarried.
*b. * Lacking a partner: a single parent.
*c. * Relating to the unmarried state: enjoys the single life.
*d. * Of or relating to celibacy.


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## yoysl

morzh said:


> Many people, especially men  consider staus of a dating person to be "single", saying that if one is not married he or she is single. And then, of course, it is up to you whether to call yourself single when talking to other people.
> 
> Here's from a dict.
> 
> *a. * Unmarried.
> *b. * Lacking a partner: a single parent.
> *c. * Relating to the unmarried state: enjoys the single life.
> *d. * Of or relating to celibacy.



You're right, but that's a different question. In English, 'not single' doesn't necessarily mean 'married', so the original question was asking whether there's a more specific way of saying 'single' than 'not married' in Russian, assuming the cultural courting rituals are the same. I really don't understand Russian women, though, so I can't answer the question. 

Anyway, on 'single' in English ... to me, "I'm single until I get married" sounds either old-fashioned or misogynistic / misandristic (or both). I really don't think this is the pervading sentiment. Sometimes I say I'm single if I'm going on dates with a girl, sometimes not, and I think this is how most people in the US use the term.

Also, definition (d) is hardly usable today, in my opinion. If you're describing someone as single, you generally have something the opposite of celibacy in mind.


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## morzh

yoysl said:


> In English, 'not single' doesn't necessarily mean 'married', so the original question was asking whether there's a more specific way of saying 'single' than 'not married' in Russian,



Well....this logic is a bit flawed.

You cannot use "proof by contradiction" when explaining words. It is not math.

If 'single" means "not married", it does not mean that "not single" means "married", and you seem to exploit that very logic.
And the language has cultural aspects that prevents this logic from working well.

In today's world we have "civil unions", "same sex unions" and such.
All of those automatically nullify "single" status without making person "married".

However when asking "are you single" people still mean "are you not married"? And then we can talk about different meaning of the word in sub-societies of gay people, or in people who prefer to live as a family but not as a registered one.


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## yoysl

morzh said:


> Well....this logic is a bit flawed.
> 
> You cannot use "proof by contradiction" when explaining words. It is not math.
> 
> If 'single" means "not married", it does not mean that "not single" means "married", and you seem to exploit that very logic.
> And the language has cultural aspects that prevents this logic from working well.



I agree with you! That's what I've been saying! Just because you're not married does not mean you're single. The original question was posed because Russian незамужняя by its morphemes means that a girl is 'not married,' and the asker wanted to know whether was a Russian word meaning 'not romantically involved with anyone in any meaningful way (by one's own evaluation), not just marriage,' which is what 'single' means in English.

Anyway, this isn't any sort of proof by contradiction. It's a matter of entailment and subset relations, which is how a lot of meanings are described in formal semantics. This is how the word 'single' works in English to me, as a native speaker:

*1.* The subset of people who are married and the subset of people are single are by definition mutually exclusive.

(Being 'single' _entails_ that one is not 'married', and vice versa.)

However,

*2.* The subset of people who are single is a subset of people who are unmarried.
*3.* The subset of people who are married is a subset of people who are romantically involved with someone else, i.e. 'not single.' 

I don't know how this compares to незамужняя. Neither, it seems, does the original poster, and that's why he started this thread.

I know you don't like bring math into the equation, but I honestly don't think these statements are in any way incorrect. And I know that language is not math.


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## morzh

We can over-complicate this as much as we want, but:

When asking a woman "are you single?" the meaning of that question is pretty much this: "are you married or not?".
This question is not intended to go into the intricacies of "in which way you are not married". 
And yes, "married" may be expanded according to the societal definition of what constitutes a family (mentioned earlier). So a person who is living in a civil union may still be considered "not single".

But "single = not married". 

Even in the US tax return form it asks simply, about the filing status:
"single"
"married (filing jointly/separately)" and there is no alternative marriage status.
There are also "qualifying widower with child" or "head of household", but those are intended for special consideration for those people.


So to me "a single woman" is "an unmarried woman".

In Russian then we could use different words like "одинокая", "незамужняя", but those, with different flavors, still mean the same - unmarried.


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## yoysl

morzh said:


> When asking a woman "are you single?" the meaning of that question is pretty much this: "are you married or not?".
> This question is not intended to go into the intricacies of "in which way you are not married".


No, this isn't true in English! At least with people under, say, 35. When my mom says "single," sure, that's what she means; my mom also comments on all of my "girlfriends," which sounds scandalous to my ears. For my generation, if you ask a girl if she's single, you're probably looking to go out on a date with her, so the implication of the question is "are you not romantically involved with anyone else at the moment?" It's still not a totally intricate question, but it encompasses more than just marriage. We also say in English, "are you seeing anyone?" which means the same thing in my mind. Of course, the girl might go out on a date with you regardless of what her status, since these things are complicated ...



morzh said:


> Even in the US tax return form it asks simply, about the filing status:
> "single"
> "married (filing jointly/separately)" and there is no alternative marriage status.



Well sure, but I don't think the person who started this thread is a tax collector. The IRS has very different concerns from your average guy who just wants to find a nice girl. Anyway, people get married for tax purposes all the time, so I don't really see how this is relevant to the _social_ meaning of "single."

A better example is Facebook and VKontakte, where you can set your relationship status as "single (which, incidentally, on VKontakte is не женат, so you're right there )", but also "engaged," "married," "in a relationship," "it's complicated," влюблен)), etc. I'm just saying that _in English_ if you ask "are you single?" you're asking more than just "are you not married?" And I will defend the truth of this statement to the grave. The question, though, is how you convey this in Russian, and it's clear from what you've said that незамужняя works fine as a translation of English "single," одинокая works too. This is a cultural difference, and even a generational difference in the US. You're completely right, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that the family situation is changing, people are getting civil unions, having children without being married, etc. But all the same, monogamy is typically the expectation (or at least desire) for people in any kind of serious relationship in the US, not just marriage, and so being "single" is not just a question of marital status.


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## Natalisha

morzh said:


> When asking a woman "are you single?" the meaning of that question is pretty much this: "are you married or not?".



Is such a question common in the US? Don't you ask "Are you married?"


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## morzh

yoysl said:


> No, this isn't true in English!



That's the only meaning I ever encountered during my life here. Either in real life, or in movies/sitcoms etc.


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## Natalisha

yoysl said:


> A better example is Facebook and VKontakte, where you can set your relationship status as "single (which, incidentally, on VKontakte is не женат, so you're right there )", but also "engaged," "married," "in a relationship," "it's complicated," влюблен)), etc. I'm just saying that _in English_ if you ask "are you single?" you're asking more than just "are you not married?"



I think everything depends on the context. In my opinion, "are you single?" can be translated as "Вы свободны?" if the question is asked by a man. It seems to be a little bit old-fashioned but it's the closest meaning I can think of right now.


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## morzh

Yoysl said:


> I'm just saying that _in English_ if you ask "are you single?" you're asking more than just "are you not married?"



Actually you ask exactly that, "are you married?". The rest is "sublime meaning", "подтекст", and different people will treat this question (an answer it) differently, depending what they perceive it to be and how they want to treat that perception.
But the standard "on the surface" part remains exactly that: "Are you married"?



Natalisha said:


> I think everything depends on the context. In my opinion, "are you single?" can be translated as "Вы свободны?" if the question is asked by a man. It seems to be a little bit old-fashioned but it's the closest meaning I can think of right now.



The question "are you single" is asked in may situations, so even asked by men, it does not necessarily mean the sexual advance.
In view of this, the context is very important, if you want to fine-tune the translation to the situation, like using "ВЫ свободны" vs "Вы не замужем" vs "каково Ваше семейное положение", or even, a long shot:"У Вас есть препятствия для принятия нашего предложения/нашего обраа жизни/вступления в нашу компанию, в виде мужа"?


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## yoysl

morzh said:


> Actually you ask exactly that, "are you married?". The rest is "sublimeinal meaning message", "подтекст", and different people will treat this question (an answer it) differently, depending what they perceive it to be and how they want to treat that perception.
> But the standard "on the surface" part remains exactly that: "Are you married"?


I know what you're saying. By the definition you found in the dictionary, you're right. And I'm not doubting that you've heard "single" used like this. But as I said, I don't think this is a good way to define "single" today. When I ask if someone is single, I'm really not asking about their marital status in particular! On the very surface I am asking about their general relationship status. It's equivalent to asking all of these simultaneously: "Is she seeing anyone? Is she taken? Does she have a boyfriend? Does she have a husband? Does she have a fiance?" One would answer "no" to "is she single?" if she has a boyfriend, has a husband, has a fiance, is "seeing someone," or "is taken," whatever those mean. For example:

"Is Jenny single?"
"Yes, she's single, but she's been dating Tom for two years."

This is very strange to me, but possibly possible. Cf.:

"Is Jenny single?"
"No, I think she's dating Tom."

This is logical to me. Hence my definition of "single." You _can_ date someone and still be single, but you might not consider yourself single if you're dating someone, and, more importantly, others might not consider you "single" if you're clearly dating someone seriously. (Except the IRS, of course.)

I do understand what you're saying, and I'm not going to pretend that everyone who speaks English is on my side and not yours. I think that most people are on my side, but I'm biased. Either way, I do have a native intuition about what people mean when they ask if someone is single in English, and to me it is in no way specific to marriage. Maybe this is due to where I'm from or when I'm from, I don't know. I am sure, though, that this is the definition I have in my brain.


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## yoysl

Natalisha said:


> Is such a question common in the US? Don't you ask "Are you married?"


This is a good point, too: If I want to know whether someone is married, I ask "Is she married?" or "Does she have a husband?" If I'm interested in making a move on her, I ask "Is she single?" And so I am asking about her general level of commitment to another guy, not explicitly whether she's married ...


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## jamtland76

Hi, I forgot I opened this thread... at the end I would like to know which word can be used to refer to a woman who is not married and doesn't have a boyfriend, and how would you ask this to a woman.


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