# 哪裡哪裡 (nali nali)



## xxnutmeg

I am a little confused on how to politely accept a compliment in Chinese.. according to my Chinese workbooks, I should say "nali, nali?" if I am told that I am pretty (I have been told that you can use this for other compliments as well)... but is this commonly used? 
Or is is better to say "xie xie"?
A Chinese woman complimented me on my looks in Chinese and when I replied "nali, nali?" she genuinely looked confused and just said "everywhere!"
I didn't want to seem like I was fishing for specific compliments, but that's what it feels like I am doing.. Should I ditch the "nali nali" reply? Or only use it on certain occasions?


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## midismilex

xxnutmeg said:


> A Chinese woman complimented me on my looks in Chinese and when I replied "nali, nali?" she genuinely looked confused and just said "everywhere!"



 Quite a good joke!

In my opinion, both 'nali nali' and 'xie xie' are quite alright meanwhile receiving compliments? But what will you say, buddy (of native speakers in China)?


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## viajero_canjeado

Hi nutmeg!

I had the same problem, and actually asked a question about it long ago on this forum. You can see the thread at http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1744428&highlight=謙虛

If the Chinese person you were talking to has integrated into Western society, then modest responses like 哪裡 might not be as natural for her. It's hard to go wrong with 謝謝 (as long as you aren't too proud about it), but some other options at the table are:

哪有。 = Kind of like 哪裡 but not as likely to be confused for meaning "oh? Precisely where am I beautiful? Please expound."
不會吧。 = Nah, I'm not that beautiful.
不敢當。= I don't dare (accept such a compliment)
過獎。 = "over-praise"
言過其實 = This is a fancy way of deflecting a compliment and would be sure to bring on even more compliments. Chinese love the 4-character idioms and think foreigners who learn them [and use them in conversation] are geniuses.

All that said, probably for ethnic Chinese who've gotten used to Western society, a simple but humble 謝謝 might be the most appropriate response.

Cheers~


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## xxnutmeg

viajero_canjeado said:


> Hi nutmeg!
> 
> I had the same problem, and actually asked a question about it long ago on this forum. You can see the thread at http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1744428&highlight=謙虛
> 
> If the Chinese person you were talking to has integrated into Western society, then modest responses like 哪裡 might not be as natural for her. It's hard to go wrong with 謝謝 (as long as you aren't too proud about it), but some other options at the table are:
> 
> 哪有。 = Kind of like 哪裡 but not as likely to be confused for meaning "oh? Precisely where am I beautiful? Please expound."
> 不會吧。 = Nah, I'm not that beautiful.
> 不敢當。= I don't dare (accept such a compliment)
> 過獎。 = "over-praise"
> 言過其實 = This is a fancy way of deflecting a compliment and would be sure to bring on even more compliments. Chinese love the 4-character idioms and think foreigners who learn them [and use them in conversation] are geniuses.
> 
> All that said, probably for ethnic Chinese who've gotten used to Western society, a simple but humble 謝謝 might be the most appropriate response.
> 
> Cheers~



Would you mind using pin-yin? I am still a newbie to the Chinese language and my character-reading skills are very limited! 
Thank you for the help! 
I looked at the thread that you shared the link to, but that is also all in characters and I cannot read most of it.


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## viajero_canjeado

xxnutmeg said:


> Would you mind using pin-yin? I am still a newbie to the Chinese language and my character-reading skills are very limited!



I see! Another option would be for you to copy and paste into the dictionary at mdbg.net; it'll give you pinyin. This way you can learn pinyin and characters at the same time!
http://www.mdbg.net/chindict/chindict.php?page=worddict&wdrst=1&wdqb=不敢當言過其實過獎哪有不會吧謝謝

Best of luck in your Chinese learning!


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## SuperXW

I think sentences like "nali nali" are too native and colloquial for foreigners and even some oversea Chinese. UNLESS you are a local and say these with an absolutely native accent, people often misunderstand or at least feel funny whenever you "try" to say them with a not-so-native tone...
By the way, modern Chinese girls are usually NOT so humble. Many of them prefer "xiexie" than "nali nali" if you say they are pretty.


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## viajero_canjeado

SuperXW said:


> I think sentences like "nali nali" are too native and colloquial for foreigners and even some oversea Chinese. UNLESS you are a local and say these with an absolutely native accent, people often misunderstand or at least feel funny whenever you "try" to say them with a not-so-native tone...



This sort of modest response is still common in Taiwan, so it's perfectly okay for foreigners to use 哪裡 (or the other responses I listed above) here, even if their accent isn't "absolutely native". Locals will still understand. This probably just amounts to a slight cross-Strait cultural difference.


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## xiaolijie

xxnutmeg, if "na2li na2li" and "xie4xie" don't do the trick, it may be easier for native Chinese speakers to understand if you just say "bu4, bu4!".

I once replied to a Taiwanese's compliment with "Ni3 guo4jiang3 le!" but she didn't seem to understand, and that made me feel a bit embarrassed (in front of my colleagues ). My pronunciation is not bad, so Midismilex, is this phrase not used very often in Taiwan?


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## viajero_canjeado

xiaolijie said:


> I once replied to a Taiwanese's compliment with "Ni3 guo4jiang3 le!" but she didn't seem to understand, and that made me feel a bit embarrassed (in front of my colleagues ). My pronunciation is not bad, so Midismilex, is this phrase not used very often in Taiwan?



If a native of Taiwan's input is all you'd like, feel free to disregard this post:

I say 過獎 fairly regularly and people always understand, and they usually say something like 「連”過獎“你也會說！」in response, which leaves me with the impression that it's a somewhat refined, learned usage - not to the point of being archaic. I don't hear locals say it a whole lot since it's kind of formal, but I've never gotten the blank stare when I said it. Of course, I only use it after a conversation has begun, and I don't throw it in out of the blue.

It's kind of a tangential issue relating to psycholinguistics, but I think some people have this "play-dumb" reaction that kicks in under certain circumstances. The person you were talking to might not have been expecting to hear Chinese or was under the [mistaken, of course] impression that your Chinese wasn't good, or was in a high gear of "English mode", or embarrassed at being spoken to in a language that no one else in the room understands instead of the language everyone speaks, any of which can ultimately hinder comprehension. I must admit to doing the same at times, like when someone approaches me with broken English, assuming I can't speak their language because I look different.


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## Ghabi

viajero_canjeado said:


> The person you were talking to might not have been expecting to hear Chinese or was under the [mistaken, of course] impression that your Chinese wasn't good, or was in a high gear of "English mode", or embarrassed at being spoken to in a language that no one else in the room understands instead of the language everyone speaks, any of which can ultimately hinder comprehension.


Yeah, that happens all the time. One can never make out what's spoken in a particular language when he's not prepared to hear that language, even though it's delivered with perfect ease. On the other hand, one can almost always understand what's being said when he believes that his interlocutor can actually speak the language, no matter how broken it's spoken. So the question becomes: how can I make them believe that I can speak the language?

Perhaps we need a thread entitled "How to convince (or fool, if you're an impostor like me) people that I really understand Chinese?"


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## midismilex

xiaolijie said:


> I once replied to a Taiwanese's compliment with "Ni3 guo4jiang3 le!" but she didn't seem to understand, and that made me feel a bit embarrassed (in front of my colleagues ). My pronunciation is not bad, so Midismilex, is this phrase not used very often in Taiwan?



It oftens, but I think we use '您過獎了' more often in the office than in daily lives. It's not so colloquial, and somewhat like a business language to us. You may say '真的嗎？哪有？' (with a voice of joyful mind) instead of '您過獎了'. 

I'm not sure if this also a culture difference here when one of us receives the complements. We used to accept and say '真的嗎？哪有？' and western people used to refuse and say '您過獎了'. A similar example  like '不敢當', a bit sounds like you refuse the compliment, and we'll say '不好意思啦'  with a joyful voice to express I 'm happy you say that. Sounds interesting, yeah?

But in the office, we used to say '您過獎了'、'不敢當，不敢當' to express our modesty when the boss or the manager or a customer gives us complements. If he or she is your collegue or neighborhood, we more likely use colloquial language like '真的嗎？哪有？'、'真的呴'、'不好意思啦'.....etc. to express our 'modesty' .

I can't tell why the lady you met didn't seem to understand '您過獎了'. The only reason I may guess is that it seems that a conversation comes to an end, at least in Chinese language, after you say '您過獎了'. And she doesn't know how to keep on another conversation or a topic in English. That's really embarrassing.


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## midismilex

viajero_canjeado said:


> I say 過獎 fairly regularly and people always understand, and they usually say something like 「連”過獎“你也會說！」in response, which leaves me with the impression that it's a somewhat refined, learned usage - not to the point of being archaic.



Yes, yes! That's the first response or reaction when we hear a foreigner know '過獎'. But now that I understand, after reading this thread, not every foreigner we met in the street is a tourist or a backpacker. 

So, next time, when I meet a foreigner who can say something like '過獎'， my first respond will be 'he ever had a Chinese lesson before', instead of being shock again.


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## viajero_canjeado

midismilex said:


> But in the office, we used to say '您過獎了'、'不敢當，不敢當' to express our modesty when the boss or the manager or a customer gives us complements. If he or she is your collegue or neighborhood, we more likely use colloquial language like '真的嗎？哪有？'、'真的呴'、'不好意思啦'.....etc. to express our 'modesty' .



In addition to your excellent suggestions, one more good [colloquial] choice that is used a lot by young people in Taiwan is 沒有，沒有 or simply 沒有啦, accompanied by some combination of a shake of the head, wave of the hand, or a smile.


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## SuperXW

viajero_canjeado said:


> This sort of modest response is still common in Taiwan, so it's perfectly okay for foreigners to use 哪裡 (or the other responses I listed above) here, even if their accent isn't "absolutely native". Locals will still understand. This probably just amounts to a slight cross-Strait cultural difference.


可能与北方普通话的发音特点有关！北方人在谦逊时说“哪里哪里”，会说得很快，或将重音落在第一个“哪”上，后面的字一带而过，“里”读作轻声；而真正询问where时，语气就不同。
台湾的国语似乎每个字的音调都更加到位，不像北京式那样随意，所以谦逊说“哪里”，和真正提问“哪里”，口气差不多吧？


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## viajero_canjeado

SuperXW said:


> 可能与北方普通话的发音特点有关！北方人在谦逊时说“哪里哪里”，会说得很快，或将重音落在第一个“哪”上，后面的字一带而过，“里”读作轻声；而真正询问where时，语气就不同。 台湾的国语似乎每个字的音调都更加到位，不像北京式那样随意，所以谦逊说“哪里”，和真正提问“哪里”，口气差不多吧？



很有趣的想法，Super! 你說的沒錯，台普比較少見「輕聲化」的現象，所以謙遜的回答跟真正詢問在哪裡兩種情況下，據我所瞭解，原則上發音是一模一樣。（至少在所發出的言語上; body language、臉色和語氣反而還會不一樣。）


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## midismilex

viajero_canjeado said:


> In addition to your excellent suggestions, one more good [colloquial] choice that is used a lot by young people in Taiwan is 沒有，沒有 or simply 沒有啦, accompanied by some combination of a shake of the head, wave of the hand, or a smile.



 You're right! And I think you and xiaolijia can read Chinese characters well. How I wish you both could write language books to tell us the equivalence between English and Chinese colloquial. One is AE, the other is BE. Both will be the 'Best Seller' in the bookstore.


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## midismilex

viajero_canjeado said:


> 很有趣的想法，Super! 你說的沒錯，台普比較少見「輕聲化」的現象，所以謙遜的回答跟真正詢問在哪裡兩種情況下，據我所瞭解，原則上發音是一模一樣。（至少在所發出的言語上; body language、臉色和語氣反而還會不一樣。）



Yes!


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## viajero_canjeado

midismilex said:


> You're right! And I think you and xiaolijia can read Chinese characters well. How I wish you both could write language books to tell us the equivalence between English and Chinese colloquial. One is AE, the other is BE. Both will be the 'Best Seller' in the bookstore.



過獎！ I mean... 哪裡，哪裡！


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