# Norwegian: Appropriate use of "glad i deg" or "Du betyr så mye for meg"? (Stavanger area)



## amw

Hello!
I've browsed this forum (and many other websites) but I'm still left unsure about something.

*What would be the appropriate or typical response in this situation?*
Two estranged adult friends reunite. One of them has been "in forelsket" with the other for years, secretly. After reuniting, they bond again. Both of them are very fond of the other, at the very least as friends, and are starting to fall in love but have not said anything yet about this. One of them (the one in forelsket) opens up emotionally to the other about recent hardships. Afterward, the other wants to say something appropriate that means simultaneously "you're important to me" and "I'm glad you're here" and "I really like you".

At first I thought "glad i deg" was the best phrase, because it's true, the one friend does love him, as friend or more, and is fond of him. If this were English the phrase would definitely be "I really like you" or "I'm very fond of you".

But I'm not sure "glad i deg" is appropriate here. "Du betyr så mye for meg" seems good, but may be way too strong.

But, if "jeg er glad i deg" is appropriate here, I'm curious how one would react to hearing it for the first time from someone they have been infatuated with for years. Would they smile? Be happily shocked? Say "glad i deg også"?

Whatever the appropriate phrase, I'm curious as to what the reaction would be to hearing it.  I need an "emotion dictionary" for Norwegian 😅

Thank you all in advance.


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## winenous

If you haven't already found it, I thought you might find this useful: Is Norwegian a Language of Love?

It doesn't mention "Du betyr så mye for meg", but I think that has the same emotional value as it would in English, and depends a lot on context. In other words, it could be "You mean so much to me (but as a friend)" or "You mean so much to me (that I couldn't live without you)".


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## amw

Ha, I think that's the ONE page I hadn't found!  It's very informative, thank you.

I agree about context being needed. Seems that way for a few phrases.


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## raumar

Amw, I think it would be easier to answer your question if you told us your reason for asking this question. Are you trying to understand a dialogue you have seen/read somewhere? If so, what is the source? Or are you trying to write a dialogue yourself? If so, what do you want the person to express? Is it "but only as a friend" or "and maybe as more than a friend"?

By the way, winenous' link is great. Spot on!


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## amw

Hello  and thanks. I was trying to write something.

But I think I have a handle on it now. Someone who is "in forelsket" (mutually and openly) with someone else, and is having a bad day, says "jeg er glad i deg" after the other person reassures them, makes them feel better. It seemed natural to use it then.


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## winenous

It might not be important for what you are doing,  but it sounds very odd to say "in forelsket", even bearing in mind you are combining English and Norwegian words.

In Norwegian, "forelsket" is an adjective meaning "in love", so you don't need to add the "in". The corresponding noun is "forelskelse". 

So, bearing in mind the subtleties of meaning explained in the article I linked to, we have:
"Jeg er forelsket" - "I am in love"
"jeg er forelsket i deg" - "I am in love with you"
"jeg er glad i deg" - "I love you"
"jeg elsker deg" - "I love you"


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## amw

Oh that's good to know. Thank you for correcting my grammar. It's necessary even when combining languages


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## serbianfan

And remember that 'jeg elsker deg' is fairly unusual and only used between couples. The dictionary translation of 'I love you so much' is quite possibly 'Jeg elsker deg så høyt' but people don't actually say that, instead they say things like 'jeg er så kjempeglad i deg', i.e. variations on 'glad i deg'. But you can use 'elske' about animals and things you love: 'Jeg elsker hunder/fotball' (I love dogs/football) is quite common.


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## winenous

amw said:


> It's necessary even when combining languages


I've never thought about it before, but it seems to be. Clearly there are no formal rules, but every time I read "in forelsket" it really grated


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## amw

To follow up, would this be correct Nynorsk/Stavangersk?

"Eg e gysla forelsket i deg" (I'm very much in love with you)

as opposed to

"Jeg er veldig ... "

Or, would "er" be written "er" no matter what, with just its pronunciation changing to "e" sometimes?


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## serbianfan

I don't think there are any regular contributors to this forum from Stavanger, but some may have lived there, or indeed once had a girl friend from there who used to say 'Eg e gysla forelska i deg'  

All I can say is that it should be 'forelska' in everyday speech, and that 'gysla' is used for 'very' in that area. If you want to write dialect, you can write 'e', but in standard bokmål or nynorsk, it's written 'er'.


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## amw

I think I've figured out, thanks to a song that the better phrase in Stavangersk would be: "eg e *så* forelska i deg". Phrases similar to this (instead of *gysla*) turned out more google hits (as opposed to none).


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## serbianfan

You may be on safer ground with 'eg e så forelska i deg'. But if your 'phrases similar to this' included 'eg *er* så forelska i deg', that would be standard nynorsk, so it's not surprising you got a few hits. Those could of course have been written by people from various parts of the country.


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## amw

serbianfan said:


> You may be on safer ground with 'eg e så forelska i deg'. But if your 'phrases similar to this' included 'eg *er* så forelska i deg', that would be standard nynorsk, so it's not surprising you got a few hits. Those could of course have been written by people from various parts of the country.


I meant if you search (in quotes) "eg *e* så forelska" -Mods (to get rid of the song) you get some results like from instagram or whatever. However!... it seems to be mostly used for objects, not people.

"eg *er* så forelska" has a lot more hits in reference to loving people.

"så *forelsket*" has 10x as many results as "så *forelska*"

Is *forelska* mainly used for casual conversation like "I'm in love with this car" and *forelsket* for people? Because that's what the internet is suggesting for the most part. That said, the internet seems to have very little Nynorsk let alone Stavangersk.


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## amw

"*vanvittig *forelsket" (madly) seems to work too 😄

the nynorsk "vanvitig forelska" gave 2 results... and both about Justin Bieber. 🤣

"*heilt *forelska" works too BUT mostly, it seems, in terms of objects...

I am reminded of this post. Norwegian: more than I love you


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## raumar

amw said:


> Is *forelska* mainly used for casual conversation like "I'm in love with this car" and *forelsket* for people? Because that's what the internet is suggesting for the most part. That said, the internet seems to have very little Nynorsk let alone Stavangersk.


No, the choice between "forelska" and "forelsket" is partly a question of dialect, partly a matter of Bokmål vs Nynorsk (Bokmål accepts both forms, Nynorsk only "forelska"), and partly a question of written vs spoken languange. Many Bokmål users, including myself, say "forelska" but write "forelsket". 

Some people use standard Bokmål or Nynorsk in their social media posts, while others write in their own dialect, instead of using one of the standardized forms.


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