# Use of eating utensils in your culture



## Cracker Jack

I am from the Philippines.  Our staple food is rice, like most of our neighbors in the region. But unlike them, we dont use chopsticks.  Sometimes, we use our bare hands especially if we eat with much gusto.  We eat it 3 times a day.  It is a substitute for bread or potatoes in Western culture.  It is for this reason that we use spoon and fork.  It is easier to consume rice with both.

Recently, I read a news item about a compatriot in Canada.  A grade schooler in Canada who was severely punished by a meal-time monitor, separating him from the rest of the kids at lunch, virtually ostracizing him because according to him, the kid eats ''like a pig.''  The kid kept it to himself for weeks until finally, he couldn't bear it.  He told his mom.

The mom sought audience with the principal but she herself was reprimanded by the latter.  Matters got worse that even the Filipino community and the consulate were involved.  My question is, are the meal-time monitor and the principal justified?  The consul calls it an affront to our culture.

If you were the principal, would you tolerate this eating habit or demand that the kid use onl fork?  In your culture, do you eat with both utensils or with fork and knifr?  Thank you very much.


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## badgrammar

This is a very interesting topic.  I wonder whether the child's table manners were simply culturally different (ie, he ate with his hands), or were they poor table manners even for someone from his culture?  

When at home, my kids, especially the oldest, still eat with their hands (I even saw my boy eating his mashed potatoes with his fingertips not long ago).  But that doesn't mean he was necessarily eating "like a pig", which I would think involves getting food all over oneself and everything else, chewing loudly/with one's mouth open, and assorted stomach-churning visuals and nasty sound effects, etc.  

I think even if you eat without utensils, you can still eat somewhat properly, using the right techniques.  But then again, using utensils is part of "Western" culture, and for the kid's own good, it's probably best that he  adapt the fork and spoon custom when he is not at home.  In any case, ostracizing by a monitor instead of dialoging with the boy's family about it is unacceptable and ridiculous.


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## Cracker Jack

Thanks a lot badgrammar.  Actually, he was eating using both spoon and fork.  What the monitor described as disgusting is the use of spoon in eating.  The boy was the only one who used spoon.  The others used only forks and knives.


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## badgrammar

That monitor sounds like a real jerk, poor kid was probably just the one he didn't like and tried to pick on.  I mean who in his right mind would be bothered by a kid using a spoon to eat rice?  But what were reactions?  Can you find the story anywhere?


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## badgrammar

Wow, it's just like you said it was, here's the link: 
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/storypage.aspx?StoryId=36767

What a shocker!  All you can really say is the school administrators are morons and have obviously never seen the world.

It's like a bad joke!!!


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## Bettie

I am shocked, even if they don't agree with their way of eating, they shouldn't treat a child and his family like that, poor kid he was traumatized!!!!! What if he eats with a fork and a spoon?? Ok, they don't think it's right, so, explain him why in a logical and kind way!!!!!


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## foucrazyfoucrazy

Are you sure that's a true story? I eat with a spoon and a fork whenever I feel like it. They even provide spoons, forks, and knives (plastic) for anyone who wants them at my school... and I'm Canadian!


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## badgrammar

It's the truth, see link above for the whole story!  I didn't realize you Canadians were such a feisty bunch when it comes to table manners  !


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## foucrazyfoucrazy

But I DID read the link above! That's why it seems so unbelievable!  The only table manner I really CARE about is "Don't eat with your mouth open"!
Lol! It's true!


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## lizzeymac

That is a terrible way to speak to a child! Eating with a spoon & fork is absolutely no excuse for labelling any person "a pig" and  it is hard not to believe there is some element of prejudice involved. I can't believe the principal said  "Here in Canada you should eat the way Canadians eat.’"  What happened to Canadian multiculturalism?  Of course, this is in Quebec, French Canada, and the article notes that the school has only 387 pupils in total - it sounds like a very small school in a small town having people with very small minds.  Is there some law that defines how "Canadians" eat?  
As for using a spoon & a fork at the same time it is a bit more usual in America to use your knife to push food onto your fork but what is the big deal?  The primary idea of table manners is to convey food to your mouth in manageable bites, chew with your mouth shut & not to make a mess on the table.  Thank Heavens that his mother has  filed a complaint.


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## Chaska Ñawi

I, too was stunned when this story came out on the news.

I'm an elementary teacher in Ontario, and have been in and out of quite a few schools.  I've never seen or heard of anything like this before.

I could imagine a lunchroom monitor taking that stand, because that sort of petty behaviour has occasionally crossed my path.  I can't imagine them being able to get away with it for more than a couple of occasions, though.

For a school _administrator _to support that action, and then make the statement that the child must adapt to a "Canadian" way of eating, whatever that is, is completely out of my experience.  (Although administrators are a weird species sometimes .....)  

In a city like Montreal, I would imagine that this particular principal is currently coming under some heavy fire and has thoroughly embarassed his board ... but I haven't had time to look into it yet.

It also sounds as if this school has a lot of other issues which haven't yet come to light.


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## MonsieurAquilone

Cultural misunderstanding.  Intolerable.....


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## victoria luz

lizzeymac said:
			
		

> As for using a spoon & a fork at the same time *it is a bit more usual in America to use your knife to push food onto your fork* but what is the big deal? The primary idea of table manners is to convey food to your mouth in manageable bites, chew with your mouth shut & not to make a mess on the table. Thank Heavens that his mother has filed a complaint.


 
Leaving aside the reported story (it was aired by radio canada too: http://www.radio-canada.ca/nouvelles/regional/modele.asp?page=/regions/Montreal/2006/05/06/001-philippines-cuillere.shtml&prov=telus&ref=telus ) which really sounds too weird to be true, I'm curious to know, now: is it usual in America to use your knife to push food onto your fork???  

I don't think I ever saw anybody handling his eating utensils this way!
(Not that anyone would sit you at the table in the dark corner if you do, here...we have even learnt to clench our teeth and heroically endure watching people eating spaghetti using both fork and spoon  ).

Vic--> takes note so she can do as the Americans do when visiting.

And, along the same lines: is making sounds while eating considered acceptable in any of your cultures? (Just wondering, after the shocking experience of being invited to express that loud way my approval for the food served, during a trip.  )


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## badgrammar

I'd say it is normal to use eating utensils that way.  I mean, how do you eat small things like peas, if you don't use a second utensil (knife, for example) to push them onto your fork?  How would you tackle that? I guess you could use a piece of bread?

Some people are very strict here in France about which hand you hold your knife with to cut your meat, then you're supposed to put the knife down and take the fork in that hand to pick it up...  None of that EVER made any sense to me, so long as people eat neatly, I don't tend to notice how they handle their utensils, left hand, right hand, the old cut and switch... whatever.

As far as I know the sounds thing (specifically burping) is really only acceptable in Asian countries.


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## victoria luz

Badgrammar,

Of course I didn't intend to sound like I'm judging a way or another more or less right/acceptable/elegant/whatever. I was just curious as for the knife&fork thing. Yes, I guess we would either use some bread or - in case of small things such as peas - we would use a spoon (by the way, we do use spoon for rice too, most of the times  )

And..I wasn't talking about burping (well, that too) but above all about the loud noise made with one's lips when chewing. There are - I think - several cultures for which this is plain good-guest manners .

Il mondo è bello perchè è vario (World is beautiful because it's so multifaceted, never boring), they say.


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## Bienvenidos

There are no utensils in Afghanistan!  Now that my family has been living in the US for decades, they have become accustomed to using utensils, but most of the time, they just use their hands. 

*Bien*


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## Eloisa Giseburt

Bienvenidos said:
			
		

> There are no utensils in Afghanistan!  Now that my family has been living in the US for decades, they have become accustomed to using utensils, but most of the time, they just use their hands.
> 
> *Bien*


 

No utensils at all??? What do you do if you are having soup? Sip from the bowl?

It is sooo nice to learn from all the different countries


When we eat tacos an other things in Mexico we do not need them either!


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## Bienvenidos

Eloisa Giseburt said:
			
		

> No utensils at all??? What do you do if you are having soup? Sip from the bowl?
> 
> It is sooo nice to learn from all the different countries
> 
> 
> When we eat tacos an other things in Mexico we do not need them either!


 
To have soup, they would tear apart pieces of bread and put it into the soup. The bread absorbs the soup. They'd then eat the bread.

Some rich people may have "foreign utensils" but they may never use them, unless a guest comes over. Eating by hand is preferred.

Note: I've never lived in Afghanistan (I've lived in the US all my life),so I haven't witnessed it first hand, but this is how it works there.

*Bien*


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## Eloisa Giseburt

Thanks for sharing. Very interesting


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## natasha2000

First, I would agree with the others in regard to the Fillipine boy in Canada. This is no way to treat a child, even if he did eat like a pig, but he didn't. Instead of this, monitor should explain to him how to eat if it is SOOOOO important to them him eating like all Canadian kids, but he should have left him alone, at the first place. Using fork and knife, fork and spoon or only fork or only spoon is a question of preferences.. According to all these posters, then an American kid should be punished in Italy, too, for "eating like a pig". Oh,please, for a Crist sake.... This is ridiculous, really.

On the other hand, in Serbia (and I will dare to speak for Spain, too, because it is the same), we do use knife to push small food to our fork. For liquid food, we use spoon, or whatever that cannot be picked up with a fork. But peas, or any other small food that is NOT liquid, we use knife to push it on the fork. The odd combination might be knife and spoon but even if someone did that, I doubt they would be labeled as "pigs", only as a "bad mannered". 

And yes, in all "Italian" restaurants you will get both spoon and fork to eat spagetti...   If you use only fork, you will be considered "bad mannered", because you will for sure have spagetti and sauce all over your face... As a matter of fact, I learned to eat spaghetti like this as a child, so I wouldn't know how to eat it otherwise, even though I was told recently that,  Italians DO NOT use spoon to eat spagetti... 

By the way, Victoria, it is really just a curiosity of mine, but how do you manage to eat spaghetti using only fork without having sauce slapping into your face? Do you cut spaghetti to smaller pieces? Because, rolling a spaghetti arround the fork withouth helpìng with the spoon.... I really find it a difficult task to do  ...


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## vlazlo

which really sounds too weird to be true, I'm curious to know, now: is it usual in America to use your knife to push food onto your fork???  


I've worked in restuarants for years and it is my opinion that in the States (or at least where I'm from) most people (average, every day people, not the upper crust) eat with a fork in their right hand and reserve the use of a knife for cutting meat.  For some foods (fried chicken, bar-b-que, ribs...) we don't use a knife or a fork and I have never heard any ruckus about it.


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## natasha2000

vlazlo said:
			
		

> which really sounds too weird to be true, I'm curious to know, now: is it usual in America to use your knife to push food onto your fork???
> 
> 
> I've worked in restuarants for years and it is my opinion that in the States (or at least where I'm from) most people (average, every day people, not the upper crust) eat with a fork in their right hand and reserve the use of a knife for cutting meat. For some foods (fried chicken, bar-b-que, ribs...) we don't use a knife or a fork and I have never heard any ruckus about it.


 
This is really wierd! If I hadn't come accross to this thread, I would never known that using knife to push the food onto your fork is so unusual in Europe!!! 
In Serbia, the spoon is held in your right hand, then when you use fork and knife, you have the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right if you want to cut the meet, so you use the fork to hold the meat in order not to push it out of the plate. You're not supposed to exchange the hands, but people do it, since it is easier to handle the fork with your right hand when not using the knife to cut, but to PUSH your food onto your fork, if necessary.
I do all "al revés" (whatever it is said, I cannot think of the word, the only thing that occurs me is up-side-down, but I know it isn't the right word ) since I am left-handed. When people see it for the first time, they notice something is wierd, but as soon as they realize I am left-handed, there is no problem any more. I mean, I am not considered bad mannered person...
Is it REALLY true that Europeans DON'T use knife to push their food on the fork? Really???  If I had died yesterday, I would have never known that...


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## vlazlo

natasha2000 said:
			
		

> This is really wierd! If I hadn't come accross to this thread, I would never known that using knife to push the food onto your fork is so unusual in Europe!!!
> In Serbia, the spoon is held in your right hand, then when you use fork and knife, you have the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right if you want to cut the meet, so you use the fork to hold the meat in order not to push it out of the plate. You're not supposed to exchange the hands, but people do it, since it is easier to handle the fork with your right hand when not using the knife to cut, but to PUSH your food onto your fork, if necessary.
> I do all "al revés" (whatever it is said, I cannot think of the word, the only thing that occurs me is up-side-down, but I know it isn't the right word ) since I am left-handed. When people see it for the first time, they notice something is wierd, but as soon as they realize I am left-handed, there is no problem any more. I mean, I am not considered bad mannered person...
> Is it REALLY true that Europeans DON'T use knife to push their food on the fork? Really??? If I had died yesterday, I would have never known that...


 
Natasha,  the first part was a quote from earlier and the second part was my opinion about the States.  I should have made it clearer, sorry.


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## natasha2000

vlazlo said:
			
		

> Natasha, the first part was a quote from earlier and the second part was my opinion about the States. I should have made it clearer, sorry.


 
My apologies, I didn't catch your post  right...

But the question stays, since varous Europeans were surprised on Americans' using knife to push their food onto fork...

On the other hand, I remembered one curious thing I saw in a documentary about Argentina. When they make their famous barbecue, they use only knife to eat the meat. According to the documentary, they hold the piece of meat in their hand and then they put the meat in their mouth and then cut the meat with the knife (a big one! ) right in front of their noses. The guy from the documentary made jokes that less experienced, if not careful enough, might  finish cutting their noses off...  I think it was a documentary by Clive James, who has a very humorous way of seeng other people and cultures... I loved all of them I saw...

It would be interesting to see if there is here any Argentinian to confirm this or to deny it...


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## luis masci

natasha2000 said:
			
		

> On the other hand, I remembered one curious thing I saw in a documentary about Argentina. When they make their famous barbecue, they use only knife to eat the meat. According to the documentary, they hold the piece of meat in their hand and then they put the meat in their mouth and then cut the meat with the knife (a big one! ) right in front of their noses.
> It would be interesting to see if there is here any Argentinian to confirm this or to deny it...


I bet any of my friends (included myself) could finish cutting our noses if we try to do it.  
“Asados” is a long tradition in Argentina (despite the rises of meat cost) but this way to cut the meat only is used by a few “baqueanos” in country zones, when they are away working and they have only a knife as a tool. I suspect in this documentary case it was more for a pose for the cam to show an old way used by the “gauchos”.
We as citizens prefer some way more “comfortable”. A table, dish, knife and fork. 
As soon as last Sunday I made an “asado” for my family; in Argentina’ houses it's pretty common to have an “asador” in the backyard. 
Now I must go to have my dinner, we have still a bit of "asado" to re-heating on the microwave (if those braves "gauchos" could see us putting the meat into the microwave...  )


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## Pivra

In Thailand we use fork and spoon, and our hands(for northern and northeastern foods). I am "fluent" and using my hand(right hand only) to eat curry with rice and other things.


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## natasha2000

luis masci said:
			
		

> I bet any of my friends (included myself) could finish cutting our noses if we try to do it.
> “Asados” is a long tradition in Argentina (despite the rises of meat cost) but this way to cut the meat only is used by a few “baqueanos” in country zones, when they are away working and they have only a knife as a tool. I suspect in this documentary case it was more for a pose for the cam to show an old way used by the “gauchos”.
> We as citizens prefer some way more “comfortable”. A table, dish, knife and fork.
> As soon as last Sunday I made an “asado” for my family; in Argentina’ houses it's pretty common to have an “asador” in the backyard.
> Now I must go to have my dinner, we have still a bit of "asado" to re-heating on the microwave (if those braves "gauchos" could see us putting the meat into the microwave...  )


 
Thank you, Luis, somehow I suspected that it was just for "pose" ... The thing is that the "parillada" was made in pampa, in the country, with real gauchos, so I guess they showed how it was done in the past. Mr. James also went to restaurants in BsAs and he got meat on the plate, with fork and knife, although he couldn't manage with the quantity of the meat they served to him... I really loved that documentary!


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