# Phonetic "jokes" for my class



## macclesh

Hello all,
I'm an English teacher in Mexico and I hope you can help me with some jokes. I'm trying to give my students a break without going off topic too much. They really like phonetic jokes; like the classic "ojos-eyes, ice-hielo, yellow-amarillo". I've already shown them a couple but I'd like to know a few more. BTW, they're 16 to 25 yr olds so they don't have to be "clean" jokes, just not vulgar.

Here's their favorite so far:
"_So, I was trying to help my American friend to learn a few words before his trip to México. He really had a hard time with pronunciation, so I said, 'just read this out loud if you get really hungry, at least you'll get you a good dinner:'
Does-tack-it-those-can-free-hole-it-us.
_
Nope, I'm not gonna tell you what is says. My students figured it out, you can, too! (hint, we're in México)
They also love "How do you say" jokes. ("estoy muerto" en Inglés = "memory")
So, can any of you help me with any more?
Thank you in advance for your time.

P.S. Mods: Am I in the correct forum?


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## danielfranco

So they find this guy that had broken into an empty house that was for sale and they asked him how come he did that, and because he only spoke Spanish he told them, "es que decía un letrero enfrente de la casa: '¡Fórzale, no le hace!'".

[for sale, no lease]


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## macclesh

Thanks Daniel, I'll add that to my bag-o-tricks!

So, did anyone get the one in the original post?
Just say YES or NO, don't give it away.


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## Tape2Tape

Spaniard goes into English chemist looking for some ampoules, but speaks no English.

-¿Hay ampolla? says the Spaniard, loudly and slowly so that the chemist will understand.

- Good morning Mr. Polla, how may I help you? says the chemist.

Actually, maybe that's not so good for a school now, is it?


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## macclesh

Here's another one I showed my class:
(wrote on board)
Translate this:
Dog-
Son-
With-
Father-
Then say the spanish words outloud.
(hint: dog can be "perro" or "can", we used "can")

remember: just say "GOT IT" or "DON'T GET IT" don't give the answer away.
(Thanx Quijote)


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## michin

An englishman goes into a shop in Spain trying to buy a pair of socks, but can't think of their name at the moment. The guy in the shop keeps showing him things, a pair os trousers, "no" says the englishman, a shirt "no no", some underwear "no..." and then shows him the pair of socks...
" ahhhhhh!!! s-o-c-k-s!!!!
(es ou si key es!)


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## maniega

Un español necesita aprender inglés rápido y lee un anuncio en la prensa: "Aprenda inglés en dos semanas".

Se dirige a la academia y al llegar llama. Le abre una secretaria y el pregunta:
- ¿Es esta la academia de inglés? - y ella responde:
- If, if. Between, between.

Saludos..


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## michin

maniega said:


> Un español necesita aprender inglés rápido y lee un anuncio en la prensa: "Aprenda inglés en dos semanas".
> 
> Se dirige a la academia y al llegar llama. Le abre una secretaria y el pregunta:
> - ¿Es esta la academia de inglés? - y ella responde:
> - If, if. Between, between.
> 
> Saludos..


 
Ese chiste es buenisimo!!! cuanto hacia que no lo oia! jajajaja.

Otro un poco mas largo:

En una entrevista de trabajo, se les pide a los tres ultimos candidatos que preparen una frase utilzando las palabras: green, yellow y pink.
Entra el primer candidato, quien despues de mucho pensa dice:

_Yesterday I went for a walk, and I saw the green gardens full of pink a yellow flowers._

Sale de la entrevista encantado con su frase.

El segundo candidato entra y dice:

_The pen is between the green and yellow books, on top of the pink chair._

Y mas de lo mismo, sale super orgulloso.

Y por fin llega el tercer candidato, el mas inteligente, con mejores notas, mas carreras etc... y dice:

"Picture a man having a shower when the telephone starts...
- Greennnnn, Greeennnnnnn
- Yellow?
- Pink! (hanging up)"

If you tell this joke it´s better doing the actions.!!


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## nunzilla

MR Ducks.
MR not ducks!
OSAR, CM wings?

(you have to talk southern to get this one)...
Nunzilla


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## nunzilla

A man is about to get on a bus with his friend.  As the bus nears, the man is hit on the leg with a runaway wheel of cheese that has rolled downhill from parts unknown.  Shrugging, he picks it up and gets on the bus with his pal.

In a few moments, the bus gets underway, and the friend asks, "what kind of cheese is it?"

The man sniffs it, looks in vain for a label, and then says, "I can't be sure, but I think it's nacho cheese."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, can't you hear that guy running after the bus saying, ´That's not yo cheese! That's not yo cheese!'

Groaaaan.
nunzilla


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## macclesh

OK, one more and I'm going to bed. Got class in 4 hours!
I've always asked my students to ask for permission to enter in English, using: "May I come In?". Well, beginners sound like this: "meicomin", which in turn has diluted to "ya comi!" (I already ate.). Moreover, to some of them it sounds more like "maiz comi! (I ate corn)"...

Nevermind, I guess you'd have to be there. Good night and thanks to all.


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## nunzilla

True story from an immigrant to the US:  He parked illegally and thought it was okay because the sign said, "Parking Fine."


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## Railway

Uno muy muy malo.

En un zoo español viven dos jaguares y uno muere.Queda solo el macho. Los criadores del zoo sienten lastima por el porque se ha quedado sin pareja, por lo que intentan buscarle una. No consiguen ninguna jaguara, asi que deciden ponerle a una zorra inglesa que tienen una piel de jaguar y meterla con el jaguar en su jaula. Conversacion entre los dos animales al conocerse (el jaguar habla un poquito de ingles)

Jaguar: "How are you?" (con pronunciacion española fuerte=Jao ar yu.) ¿Que entiende la zorra?=Jaguar you?

Zorra contestando a la "pregunta" Jaguar you?: No, I'm sorry (sorry=parecido a como un ingles diria zorra. ¿Que entiende el jaguar? No, I'm zorra)

Je, je, je. El chiste ya es malo, pero escrito es tremendo!  I'm zorry


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## macclesh

nunzilla said:


> MR Ducks.
> MR not ducks!
> OSAR, CM wings?
> 
> (you have to talk southern to get this one)...
> Nunzilla



I DO speak a little southern (yit yet? Na, d'yu? Na, yan't to?) but still need a little help with the OSAR part...


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## danielfranco

¿Qué le dijo un globo a otro globo?
"I glove you!"



Wait for it...





¿Y entonces qué le dijo un foco a otro foco?


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## QUIJOTE

danielfranco said:


> ¿Qué le dijo un globo a otro globo?
> "I glove you!"
> 
> 
> 
> Wait for it...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ¿Y entonces qué le dijo un foco a otro foco?


 I got this one, ha!

Jose got a job at a factory and on his first day he went to the manager to tell him he had the feeling nobody there liked him.
Why do you think that? the manager asked

because they have posted a sign at each exit that reads "fire hose" he said.

I know I know is not that good.


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## laydiC

Railway said:


> Uno muy muy malo.
> 
> En un zoo español viven dos jaguares y uno muere.Queda solo el macho. Los criadores del zoo sienten lastima por el porque se ha quedado sin pareja, por lo que intentan buscarle una. No consiguen ninguna jaguara, asi que deciden ponerle a una zorra inglesa que tienen una piel de jaguar y meterla con el jaguar en su jaula. Conversacion entre los dos animales al conocerse (el jaguar habla un poquito de ingles)
> 
> Jaguar: "How are you?" (con pronunciacion española fuerte=Jao ar yu.) ¿Que entiende la zorra?=Jaguar you?
> 
> Zorra contestando a la "pregunta" Jaguar you?: No, I'm sorry (sorry=parecido a como un ingles diria zorra. ¿Que entiende el jaguar? No, I'm zorra)
> 
> Je, je, je. El chiste ya es malo, pero escrito es tremendo!  I'm zorry


 
I've got one!! It's a little similar to this one...

Un zorro se tropieza con un perro y le dice : I'm sorry...

Y el perro le contesta: I'm Perry! ...jeje...


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## Soy Yo

macclesh said:


> I DO speak a little southern (yit yet? Na, d'yu? Na, yan't to?) but still need a little help with the OSAR part...


 
--M- R ducks.
--M-R not ducks.
--O-S-A-R!!!

You are "spelling" the capital letters, aren't you?


This one is really old but: you remember José, the guy newly arrived from Cuba who was so crazy about baseball and ecstatic after going to his first major league baseball game in New York. So the next day, he was still riding high and telling his friends at work all about it.

--I love every minute of it, from estart to end! Even before the game estart, everybody so nice...so nice!!! And so wanting me to be comfortable.

--Oh really? That's awesome!! So what did they do???

--Well, for sample, just before game estart, everybody in whole estadium so polite estand up and sing "José, can you see???"


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## Andy KG

La maestra pregunta:
-Jaimito, ¿cómo se escribe "nariz" en inglés?
-No sé.
-¡Muy bien, Jaimito!

¿Qué pasa si un elefante se para en una pata?
El pato se queda viudo. 

I have a few more with the verb "to come" but I guess they aren't apropiate... 

PS: I got the "dog-son..." joke but not the "tack-it..." one.


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## strawberry-short-cake

es un burro crusando la frontera para los united states, se encuentra con un sorrillo y choca con el, entonces el sorrillo dice; I'm sorry, y el burro contesta; I'm burry

no soy muy buena para esto pero hago me intento


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## borgonyon

nunzilla said:


> MR Ducks.
> MR not ducks!
> OSAR, CM wings?


I know it as …C M wangs?

I got all of them. Very funny!

¿Qué le dijo un jaguar a otro?
How are you? [with a very hard "h" sound]


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## alexacohen

A Spaniard and an Italian men are talking loudly while waiting for their flights at a big airport in the United States.
Tha Spaniard says: 
First emma come, then I come, then two us together come, then I come again, then two us come again together, and I come one more time. Then I pee, and then I pee again, and finally I come again one last time.
And old lady turns back and says:
- This kind of conversation shouldn't be allowed in public places!
- The Spaniard says,
- Me no understand. Me explain me friend how to write Mississippi.
Alexa
(I know it's bad)


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## fran.tampa

Tengo otro chiste..........
En un bosque de Inglaterra, van corriendo un zorro ingles y un burro espanyol.  Van tan rapido que sin darse cuenta en un cruze she chocan entre ellos, y el zorro todo preocupado dice al burro: Oh, I'm sorry!!!!
A eso que el burro le dice: Oh, I'm burri and nice to meet you.

JAJAJAAJA
PD: Es un poco malo lo se, pero es acorde con el tema,
Saludos


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## turtlehead

Mi hija acaba de mostrarme este enigma (riddle):

YYur YYub icur YY4 me!


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## pita

Hola:
Se me ocurre la siguiente frase:

'ta lencho? = Talent show?


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## Santiago Jorge

I sure have been enjoying these . . .  

This is not a joke so much as real life play on words and typical of the misunderstanding that can happen between two languages.

I understand the GM car company has been hard pressed to make head way on their sales of their Chevy Nova in Latin America . . . 

Porque ¡No va!

Another,

A girl from the US goes to a Latin American country to help a church in some religious activities. On her first night there, the paster calls her to the front of the church to introduce her to his congregation. Embarrassed and not being very strong with her Spanish, she said, «Estoy embarazada por el pastor!»


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## loladamore

You might also like to offer your students some _tack it those they beer ear_, or _they tree_ _pass_. _Men who dough_ is good for a _crewed ha_. At this time of year _cape he wrote harder_ is a very popular dessert.
I love _taught us_, too, especially _taught us they can't eat us_. _Can't eat us_ are also very nice with _taught ears they arena_.

Get back to work!


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## psicutrinius

How do you define a dry dock?

A place where they build big ships
What?

no, sir that's a non-drinking member of the medical profession..


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## psicutrinius

Where was the tiniest airfield RAF had in World War II?

Under a Scotsman's quilt

And it consisted of two hangers and a Spitfire.


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Oh boy, it's such a pity that they deleted the jokes thread (its name was "Why not open a thread on jokes and humour?", and I think it was a Mod who started it back then -Benjy, seems to me), it would have come in handy now.  

Anyway, if you want fantastic play-on-words and phonetic jokes, I highly recommend you to get Gaturro's Brutish English Handbook, by Nek.  I've laughed for hours with it.

I don't quite recall its full name right now, but I think a quick Google-check could bring some results...


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## macclesh

WOWWWW!!!
I wasn't expecting such a response!
I've been at work since 8:30 AM (it's now 4:23 PM here) and I come home to find all this!
I have to go back in a few minutes. I'll check out ALL THESE later tonight.

In the mean time, here's one more:

Translate to English then say the English words out loud (fast). You'll hear yourself say a mean phrase in Spanish (mean, but it works well)

La Gallina-
La Estrella-
Menton (aka barbilla)-
Mano-
Hacer-

I'll post the answer later....
Good luck and thanks again...


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## Blixa

macclesh said:


> Here's another one I showed my class:
> (wrote on board)
> Translate this:
> Dog-
> Son-
> With-
> Father-
> Then say the spanish words outloud.
> (hint: dog can be "perro" or "can", we used "can")
> 
> remember: just say "GOT IT" or "DON'T GET IT" don't give the answer away.
> (Thanx Quijote)


 
I´m not sure if I got it....


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## vignette

Blixa said:


> I´m not sure if I got it....


 

Just translate the words into spanish. Then, read the translated words one after another. You get a sentence, don't you?


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## borgonyon

El argentino está visitando a su amigo mexicano en Los Angeles. El argentino no sabe inglés y le pide a su amigo mexicano que le enseñe como pedir comida.
--Fácil --le dice el mexicano--. ¿Te gusta el bistec con huevos?
--Claro --le dice el argentino.
--Eso lo puedes decir así: "y usté quien es", diciéndolo bien rápido. Suena como "steik an egs", que quiere decir "bistec con huevos".
--Ah, eso es fácil…
Al otro día el argentino va solo al restaurant y el mesero le pregunta:
--May I help you?
El argentino le pregunta:
--¿Y vos quién sós?

Corny, huh?


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## ERASMO_GALENO

macclesh said:


> "_So, I was trying to help my American friend to learn a few words before his trip to México. He really had a hard time with pronunciation, so I said, 'just read this out loud if you get really hungry, at least you'll get you a good dinner:'_
> _Does-tack-it-those-can-free-hole-it-us._
> 
> Nope, I'm not gonna tell you what is says. My students figured it out, you can, too! (hint, we're in México)


 
I think nobody has answered your hidden message so far...

_Does-tack-it-those-can-free-hole-it-us._
*Dos taquitos con frijolitos...*

Regards,


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## borgonyon

Aunque, me parece, la gracia era dejarlo sin contestar. Indicar, simplemente, si lo entendíamos o no... Todavía no entiendo el último que puso macclesh, pero no quiero que pongan la respuesta en este hilo…


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## borgonyon

Ya entendí el de la gallina, la estrella… pero la expresión, me parece, es muy mexicana…


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## amazone

You are going to love this one, then 
_(URL removed)

_ I bought a tiny-cheap book ( _The Easy Spanish Phrase Book: Over 770 Basi Phrase for Everyday Use_. New York: Dover Publications, 199), that includes "phonetic pronuntiation", which means, each sentence written to be read in English. Examples:

- SO-lo AH-blo een-GLAYSS
- ESS-toh ess-TAH FREE-o.
- seen YAY-lo, por fah-VOR
- I AH-gwah PAH-rah bay-BAYR?
- oon PAY-ne oh oon say-PEE-yoh

;D


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## Arrius

I was going to tell the S-O-C-K-S joke but somebody else beat me to it a couple of pages back. However, my version ends with the shop attendant, who has become impatient, saying sharply to the dithering customer:" Well, if you can spell it, why on earth couldn't you have said it!"
But here's my contribution for what it's worth:
The Mediterranean diet is not as healthy as they say - even the butter in Spain is meant to kill ya.
Unfortunately for the joke, butter in Mexico is, I believe, actually called manteca, which term in Spain usuallly refers to dollops of rather repulsive-looking hog's fat.


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## zumac

nunzilla said:


> MR Ducks.
> MR not ducks!
> OSAR, CM wings?
> 
> (you have to talk southern to get this one)...
> Nunzilla


 
Minor correction: CM wangs.
And you forget the ending: LIB, MR ducks.


Saludos.


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## zumac

fran.tampa said:


> Tengo otro chiste..........
> En un bosque de Inglaterra, van corriendo un zorro ingles y un burro espanyol. Van tan rapido que sin darse cuenta en un cruze she chocan entre ellos, y el zorro todo preocupado dice al burro: Oh, I'm sorry!!!!
> A eso que el burro le dice: Oh, I'm burri and nice to meet you.
> 
> JAJAJAAJA
> PD: Es un poco malo lo se, pero es acorde con el tema,
> Saludos


 
La verdad que las primeras dos veces que contaron este chiste, no estaba tan mal. Quizás no lo sepas contar, ja, ja.
O como dicen en inglés: "Some can tell 'em, some can't."

Saludos.


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## Bubble44

My students used to ask me if "dinner" meant dinero, and "Monday" meant "mande"...

hope it helps.


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## zumac

¿Como se dice "empanada" en inglés?
In bread nothing.

¿Como se dice "panqueque" en inglés?
Bread what what.


Saludos.


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## Soy Yo

Arrius said:


> I was going to tell the S-O-C-K-S joke but somebody else beat me to it a couple of pages back. However, my version ends with the shop attendant, who has become impatient, saying sharply to the dithering customer:" Well, if you can spell it, why on earth couldn't you have said it!"
> But here's my contribution for what it's worth:
> The Mediterranean diet is not as healthy as they say - even the butter in Spain is meant to kill ya.
> Unfortunately for the joke, butter in Mexico is, I believe, actually called manteca, which term in Spain usuallly refers to dollops of rather repulsive-looking hog's fat.


 
I also heard an additional end to the S O C K S... The exasperated clerk says "Well, why didn't you spell it in the first place??!!"


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## Soy Yo

Bubble44 said:


> My students used to ask me if "dinner" meant dinero, and "Monday" meant "mande"...
> 
> hope it helps.


 
Here are some "real" booboos from student "compositions".

Comimos dinero y fuimos a la cama.

Puse un letrero en mi coche que decía: "¡Florida o busto!"  (una composición sobre "Spring Break".


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## borgonyon

Arrius said:


> Unfortunately for the joke, butter in Mexico is, I believe, actually called manteca, which term in Spain usuallly refers to dollops of rather repulsive-looking hog's fat.


Not in Mexico. In Mexico butter is mantequilla. Manteca is lard or vegetable shortening.


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## macclesh

I guess I have time for one more:

So my uncle is trying to get a soft drink from a vending machine, a cool one with digital display. So every time he puts money in, it tells him what coin it registered. The drink costs $.40 (40 cents)
He puts in .25 it says "quarter"
Then .05 "nickel"
Then .10 "-----"  <---(it's more fun if you figure out what it displays, hint: US coins)
This is when he bends over and whispers "_quiero una coca_" - and out comes the coke!!

as always, PM me if you don't get it.
Good Night!! I'm here all week... don't forget to tip your server!!


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## tenseconds

An American, an English, and a Mexican were in a bar.  They all had their eyes on one girl, and they were arguing about who should be the one to get to talk to her.  The bartender says "okay, we will have a contest.  Whoever uses the words 'liver' and 'cheese' best in a sentence will be the one to talk to her."  So the American says, "I like liver and cheese."  The British says, "I don't like liver and cheese."  And the Mexican wins by saying "Liver alone, cheese mine!"  
Jeje es muy cursi!

Un español y un inglés están en un barco.  El inglés se cae al agua y grita Help! Help! Help! Entonces dice el español: Gel no tengo, pero si quieres shampoo.


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## macclesh

loladamore said:


> You might also like to offer your students some _tack it those they beer ear_, or _they tree_ _pass_. _Men who dough_ is good for a _crewed ha_. At this time of year _cape he wrote harder_ is a very popular dessert.
> I love _taught us_, too, especially _taught us they can't eat us_. _Can't eat us_ are also very nice with _taught ears they arena_.
> 
> Get back to work!



I love all these!! ANY MORE??!!
_crew does_ would be plural?
_they arena_ is harder for them than I thought, they keep saying "arena" (sand) in Spanish.

NUNZILLA: I finally got it!! I've got to watch some more "blue collar comedy"


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## Arrius

Years ago I read a book written by an American who had made a successful living as a memory man. His main method was to link names or numbers to mental images, if necessary linked to a set series of objects, the absurder the resulting situation, the more memorable. He would for instance, on being introduced to a Miss van Uys (a name of Dutch origin), imagine vans streaming out of her eyes i.e. "van eyes". I found that his method worked well enough but was liable to drive one nuts. He confessed that he spoke only English but suggested that the method could be applied to learning vocabulary in a foreign tongue as well, and gave the French example "père" retrieved by imagining a piriform or pear-shaped daddy, and the Spanish "pájaro" by association with a mental image of a stationary car crowded with fluttering birds , a sight which caused considerable consternation in the observer, viz. PARKED CAR - OH!


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## Dani California

Muy bueno tu post, Mcclesh, ja, ja...
también podría ser: gallina, estrella, barbilla, pistola y haz (de hacer).


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## elmohdez

Un chiste malo que me hace gracia.
S_ome guys are up in a tree when a policeman sees them._
_Well, what are you all doing there? Come on men, come down. Let's not have any of you falling and breaking something!.And when they arrive on the ground . . ._
_O.K. now, who are you? _
_Geez, what a memory! The ones from the tree!(spanish accent)_


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## elmohdez

alexacohen said:


> This one is a bit long... but I enjoyed it.
> George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice. A meeting…
> Read on.
> 
> You are the milk Alex.


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## profe105

elmohdez said:


> alexacohen said:
> 
> 
> 
> This one is a bit long... but I enjoyed it.
> George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice. A meeting…
> Read on.
> 
> You are the milk Alex.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sabes que esa frase no tiene sentido en inglés, ¿verdad?  Yo sé que decir que alguien es la leche en España significa que es bien cool, pero no se puede traducir.
> 
> Sin embargo, hay personas aquí en Estados Unidos que dicen _You're the bomb _o _You're the shit_ para decir que eres la leche.
Click to expand...


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## elmohdez

Si,claro por eso me hace gracia.


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## macclesh

Claro, y aqui se trata de diversion.
Elmohdez: you are "to everything give".
(a todo dar!!!)  Jejejeje.

Alguien con frases "intraducibles" de otro pais?


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## elmohdez

Perdon!!!si moleste.
Pero tengo un amigo que habla ingles asi y me hace mucha pero mucha gracia el que no tenga ningun sentido,eso es lo gracioso y como el hilo va de bromas, no crei que fuera inoportuno?.

 Between boms and shit I prefered milk


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## zumac

macclesh said:


> Claro, y aqui se trata de diversion.
> Elmohdez: you are "to everything give".
> (a todo dar!!!) Jejejeje.
> 
> Alguien con frases "intraducibles" de otro pais?


 
Regarding "eres la leche", here's a few in English that don't translate:

You're a piece of work.
You're a riot.
You're a pisser.

Saludos.


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## macclesh

elmohdez said:


> Perdon!!!si moleste.
> Pero tengo un amigo que habla ingles asi y me hace mucha pero mucha gracia el que no tenga ningun sentido,eso es lo gracioso y como el hilo va de bromas, no crei que fuera inoportuno?.
> 
> Between boms and shit I prefered milk



NO MOLESTASTE!!!
Seguramente el que te corrigió solo lo hizo por que penso que era un error verdadero.
Este hilo es para divertirse con las incongruencias entre los idiomas.
This thread is all about fun with words.

MAYBE we're a bit off topic but
Here are a few of my student's favorites:

You're a tough cookie!
He's the top banana!
She's a peach! (or you're no peach yourself)
It's raining cats and dogs

Now, how about some of those "how do you say?" jokes.

Like how do you say "He fallecido" en Ingles: memory (me mori)


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## macclesh

well I started with this "take-it-those" (taquitos) joke and now I've gone too far. I can't stop. My students don't think it's funny any more. I'll show you why.
I wrote this on the board during Saturday's last class:
"So there were 3 gringos out all night. 2 drunk as can be and 1 designated driver. They go into a "cafeteria" and proceed to order. It sounded something like this:
_-key lay Sr. bow ?
-those take it does they car knit as e does they 3 pass .
-they arena ?
-sea
-can free hole it us?
-see, poke it those
-men new dough pay raw laws way s crew those ?
-hour it awe know . stand door me those
-hour it awe Van Gogh
-grassy ass

_What? too much? I know, I could keep going...but I shouldn't

Thread Closed??


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## ERASMO_GALENO

I got this far:

-¿Qué le sirvo?
-Dos taquitos de carnitas y dos de tripas
-¿De harina?
-Sí
-¿Con frijolitos?
-Sí, poquitos
*-¿Menudo pero los bueyes crudos?*
-Ahorita no. Estan dormidos
-Ahorita vengo
-Gracias.

Don't know if I'm right with the text in bold...

Regards,


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## macclesh

Well, I was trying to keep the answers off the thread so other people could try but, hey! it's OK.

*-*¿Menudo *para* los *gueyes* crudos?
i guess para should be _paw raw.
_and "bueyes" is the right word in most countries, but we're in Mexico so we use guey (with dieresis on top of the "u", I can't type it)
it's kinda like saying "dude" but could also be derrogatory and offesive, depends on who you're talking to; So, don't use the word "guey" anywhere unless you're 100% sure, it could backfire.


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## ERASMO_GALENO

Sorry...  didn't want to spoil the game... I can edit my post if you want so...


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## macclesh

don't worry about it. why don't you just try to come up with one of your own to replace it!!


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## Joruro

A un joven andaluz le invitan a una boda, la de su primo, en Kentucky. EL joven está preocupado porque no sabe inglés. Un amigo le dice:

No te preocupes, en USA son muy ordenados, cuando llegues al aeropuerto, sales y verás un edicificio. ALlí podrás comprar un billete a Kentucky. SOlo recuerda la frase: Uan tiquet to Quentaqui. Verás que te dan el billete.

EL joven va pensando durante todo el trayecto de Sevilla a NY la famosa frase. Al salir del aeropuerto, efectivamente encuentra el ediificio. Entra y dice su frase:

- uan tiquet tu quentaqui.

- On the bus?

- Onde cohone voy a ir! a la boda de mi primo, a quentaqui!!


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## ErOtto

Comentan es España, que el Real Madrid ha llegado a un acuerdo con NISSAN para la publicidad de las camisetas, puesto que es la marca que más de acorde está con los éxitos deportivos de las últimas temporadas...

pues "NISSAN llevao" la liga, "NISSAN llevao" la copa, "NISSAN llevao" la champions   

Saludos
ErOtto


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## Dani California

Ja, ja, ja... Buenísimo Joruro!!

Aquí va otro de andaluces:

Hay un congreso internacional de policias en Andalucia y estan un poli americano, un poli ingles y un guardia civil tomandose un finito en una tasca durante un descanso. 
El poli americano se abre un poco la camisa y muestra una cicatriz de 10 cm y dice (con acento) 
New York city. 
El poli ingles se remanga el brazo y muestra una cicatriz que da pena y miedo verla y dice (tambien con acento) 
London city. 
Finalmente el guardia civil se baja un poco los pantalones y mostrando una cicatriz dice: 
poz yooo...¡Apendi-siti!. 

Saludos


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## Soy Yo

Try this and let me know how it goes:

Ask a friend who knows Spanish and English to say what you tell him/her to say.  Then say:

"Say 'Son las once' 'n don't say 'de la noche.'

If he does it wrong, say:

"No, no!  Say "Son las once' n don't say 'de la noche.'"

Keep this up till he/her catches on or tells you to get lost (or both).


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## borgonyon

El mexicano había pasado unos años en California y decía que sabía hablar inglés. Era el "gringo" entre la raza.
Un día está con unos amigos recogiendo ["pizcando"] naranjas en una huerta y llegó un gringo con unos barriles.
--Ve a pedirle al gringo que te preste un barril --le dicen sus amigos.
Después de mucho se anima a ir con el gringo.
--Gringo, un barril.
--What?
--Un barril...
--I don't know what you're saying...
--Anda gringo, un barril...
--I don't know. I don't understand. I don't know what you want...
Así que el mexicano regresa con los otros.
--¿Qué te dijo el gringo? --le preguntan.
--Dice que si, pero que el aro no...

Cornier than the previous one, huh?
ampurdan, go ahead and delete it if you don't like it...


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## macclesh

*Dani California:* you're on a roll! (estas en un rollo)
*Soy Yo:* No te entendi. Pero mi hijo ya quiere que deje de decir eso. (It's annoying) (once = "don't say"??) 
*Ampurdan:* thanks for keeping us in-topic.

*Remember guys (& gals):* Phonetic & word play between English and Spanish.

Like this:

¿Cómo se dice en *Inglés*...

Bañera giratoria: tina turner 

Copie bien: copyright

Estoy muerto: memory 

Pare usted mismo: auto stop

Repollo: re-chicken

Talco para caminar: walkie talkie

 El perro puede: can can

Ok, so the last two cheat a little...


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