# friend/ buddy /mate/ dude



## Hector9

I'm trying to see what are the differences between friend/buddy/mate/dude

Friend
Buddy
Mate 
Dude

Could you tell me if any of them are synonyms or what is the difference and their meanings? 

I'm going crazy, I can't see what's difference between them (I always heard those terms on movies )


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## Bigote Blanco

Hector9 said:


> I'm trying to see what are the differences between friend/buddy/mate/dude
> Friend
> Buddy
> Mate
> Dude
> 
> Could you tell me if any of them are synonyms or what is the difference and their meanings?
> 
> I'm going crazy, I don't know what's difference between them (I always heard those terms on movies )


 
Hector, don't go loco!  I'd suggest you stick to "friend" and all will be fine. 
The difference between the others can be quite subtle and can have quite different meanings depending on context.

example:
"Hey Buddy, if you touch me again I'm going to smash your face."


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## pops91710

As far as definition goes, they are one in the same. But as BB said, context and voice intonation can change all that.


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## SuperXW

Yeah, "friend" is safe. I also noticed: it seems you can say "his buddy", "his mate" meaning "his friend", but NOT "his dude". (Right?) "Dude" more often indicates "a stranger," such as "that dude" (Right?)


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## pops91710

Not really. I hear guys all the time address each other as 'dude', allbeit habitually, and ad nauseum.


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## ribran

Well, I would never approach one of my friends and say, "Hey, friend!" He would wonder what I had hit my head on. I generally say, "Hey, man!" I never use _mate_. I always become slightly suspicious when I hear _buddy_, because in my experience, people use it when they are trying to ingratiate themselves with strangers or casual acquaintances.


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## pops91710

ribran said:


> Well, I would never approach one of my friends and say, "Hey, friend!" He would wonder what I had hit my head on. I generally say, "Hey, man!" I never use _mate_. I always become slightly suspicious when I hear _buddy_, because in my experience, people use it when they are trying to ingratiate themselves with strangers or casual acquaintances.


 
Hey, buddy can you spare ten?


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## Minnesotagirl21

They are basically interchangeable... mostly depends on context.  Here's some generalizations though: 

Friend: You usually use this to refer to a friend to another person.  Ex. "I would like you to meet my friend, George."  
Buddy: Used like friend ("this is my buddy, George").  Can be friendly (usually used with pets or kids).  Ex. "Hey Buddy! How was your soccer game?" .. or angry Ex. "Watch it buddy! You spill your beer on me again and I'm gonna kick your ass!"
Mate: We don't say this in America. 
Dude: Teenagers/young adults use this more often. Ex. "Duuuuuude, we're, like, almost out of weed."  Otherwise I hear it a lot when people are mad at a friend. Ex. "Dude! You made out with my girlfriend! That's not cool..."  Or when you are excited Ex. "Dude! You won Lady Gaga tickets?? Aaaand you're taking me with you?? I love you, man!"

Hope this is somewhat helpful... its hard to explain well.
Buena Suerte!


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## Parla

There's a difference between _references to_ people and forms of address, and sometimes a difference between the sexes. 

*Mate* isn't used in US English (in other than the sexual sense), except in combination words (teammate, classmate).

*Friend* is a safe, basic word used by either sex in reference to someone of either sex. Occasionally, often with "my", it's used as a form of address: "How have you been, my friend?"

*Buddy* is used mainly by males, in reference to male friends (or, jocularly, female friends): "I got an e-mail from my buddy Joe." "No, Mary's not my girlfriend; we're just good buddies." As a form of address, it's usually used only with strangers and is sometimes hostile (see post #2), but not necessarily. It's an informal word, but not slang.

*Dude* is typically used only by males, in reference to another male, often a stranger: "Then this tall dude walked into the bar..." As a form of address, it's used by males to  male friends: "Hey, dude, how're ya doin'?" It's slang (but not a "bad" word).


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## Copperknickers

Parla explains it well. 'Mate' is primarily British, eg 'alright mate' for 'hey buddy' in Americanese. I've also heard Americans using 'friend' in the same way, eg 'hello friend, can I help you?'. Buddy is occasionally used in British English, dude is never used except when imitating Americans.


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## Archstudent

Even if these words are used interchangeably, if you want to use them with the right idiom, it is best to know how those terms originated:

- Friend is the basic term, the universal term.  As someone mentioned above, do note that friend is rarely used as a form of address, and when used as such it is best to use it in the form "my friend", eg. Hello my dear friend!
- Mate means a peer, or a fellow, denoting common membership whether formally or informally of a group, hence classmates (mates, where the common group is their school class), teammates (where the common group is a sports team).  In British English (and most ex British colonies, particularly Australia), mate has since long ago become an informal, friendly way to address a man or boy.
- Buddy means a close friend, someone with whom you are specifically more intimate than perhaps some of your other friends.  In my experience this particularly is intended as relationships between children.  For this reason I believe it can be sarcastically addressed to someone who is a stranger in order to convey contempt (see posts by others, above).
- Dude does not mean friend.  It means simply, a male, man or boy.  You can refer to someone as a dude, without even knowing them, or without ever having met them for example, whereas you would never (unless ironically) refer to someone you had never met as a friend, buddy or mate.  Having said that, it is true that dude is a common form for male friends to address each other.  I believe that this because it is a term that can, or usually conveys vague affection or respect, because dude can often connote stylishness or coolness of the person in question.

I hope this anwsers your question.


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## Daffodil100

- Mate means a peer, or a fellow, denoting common membership whether formally or informally of a group, hence classmates (mates, where the common group is their school class), teammates (where the common group is a sports team). In British English (and most ex British colonies, particularly Australia), mate has since long ago become an informal, friendly way to address a man or boy.
------------------------

Is it okay for a woman to call her Australian male friend mate?


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## montmorencywrf

I agree with Copper.. and Daffod, with some comments:

"Mate" in British English was originally a working class term of affectionate address among equals.

It later became more widespread, and would sometimes be used (rather patronisingly) by middle class people to working class people, in an attempt (always futile) to appear friendly, etc (imagine David Cameron saying it to a coal miner, for example.

I've noticed its use spreading more widely in the 3rd person, among middle class parents to refer to their children's friends, and it sounds to me a bit artificial in that context, but it's very common.

You will also see it used in a neutral sense in phrases like "classmates", "schoolmates", where it doesn't really mean "friends", but just people they go to school with. cf. "housemates" - people who share a house, but may not actually be friends.

"mate" is a word that has survived where words like "chum" or "pal" haven't really (except humorously).

[...]


There are one or two rhyming slang versions of mate, but the only one that seems to have any currency would be "China" - "China Plate", and that only among older people.


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## GreenWhiteBlue

Note that the word "mate" is not used in this context at all in the United States, unless for humorous reasons one is trying to pretend that one is a Briton or an Australian.


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## Santanawinds

Hello, 
to continue this discussion, I've got some new questions about expressions used throughout the English speaking regions of the US and Canada.

Dude - this word is used often in California, among the surfer and beach-going population. At least it was common in the nineties while I was still in the US. Is it really outdated now? In the surfer/beach jargon, dude is used pretty much for everything, depending on the context of the sentence. So it could mean man, friend, or even just woah!
Dude! Look at that wave...
Hey dude, how're ya?
That dude just entered the shop...
etc.

Is 'dude' used at all in Canada? What about the rest of the US? 


Mate - in the US this word is considered British, and isn't used often.

guero, guera - used by the latino community for whites. 

homeboy, hommie, homegirl - latino and African-American communities in the US, usually for close friends.

Bud, buddie - I have heard being used in the US, but I'm not sure it's that common.

I brought this old topic up because I'm actually looking for a word that means man or friend, that is more common throughout the US and Canada, if that's possible at all. Dude may be too region-specific. Any suggestions?


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## ewie

Maybe the word you're looking for is (ahem) _man_, SW


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## LilianaB

Bigote Blanco said:


> Hector, don't go loco!  I'd suggest you stick to "friend" and all will be fine.
> The difference between the others can be quite subtle and can have quite different meanings depending on context.
> 
> example:
> "Hey Buddy, if you touch me again I'm going to smash your face."



Yes, I absolutely agree with you. The other words sound silly if improperly used. You really have to know the context very well. The same with _yeah_, if improperly used. OT.


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## walloper

There are other sinonimous for dude or buddy like *bloke, fella, lad  or chap* if you want to have more options.


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## GreenWhiteBlue

But as noted above, their usage varies enormously by location.  In the US "bloke" is never used, and would sound absurd, and the equally unused "lad" and "chap" would sound not so much absurd as precious and swishy. "Fella" is not a word, but is the way "fellow" usually sounds when spoken in casual conversation -- but note that a more careful enunciation of "fellow" sounds mightily affected as a term of address.


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## ewie

For more on _feller, fella _and_ fellow_ see here.


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## Santanawinds

ewie, you may just be right! But if there's a generally accepted slang or informal word for 'man' available, that's not too region-specific like 'dude', then I'd prefer using that word. Say, GUY - that's a word I'd forgotten about earlier! 

Is 'guy' common in Canada and throughout the US?


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## Loob

What context do you want to use "guy" (or whatever) in, Santanawinds?

What would your relationship be to the person you're speaking to?  And in what sort of situation would you be speaking?


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## SeventyNine

In which case can I use  pal and folk ?


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## Keith Bradford

A few comments:

I'm British; if anyone calls me *dude *I will get highly offended. If a person on equal terms calls me *mate*, that's fine.  Only a man will call another _mate_.
Any one of these can be a put-down. Certain types of policeman will call a suspect, or even a prisoner, *pal*. _"Listen, pal, don't give me any of your lip or I'll be adding to your charge sheet!"_
*Pal *is apparently one of the few English words derived from Romany.
There are two rhyming-slang derivatives of *mate*: _China _(plate) which means "friend"; _Dutch _(plate) which means "wife".


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## GreenWhiteBlue

SeventyNine said:


> In which case can I use pal and folk ?


As "folk" is a word that refers to a group of people, and not a single individual, there is no case at all in which you could ever use it as an individual term of address.

Have you really ever heard anyone say "Hello, folk!" to one person???????


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## Keith Bradford

SeventyNine said:


> In which case can I use pal and folk ?



Beware of *pal *- it's not often used as a greeting (see # 24 above). But as a noun it's fine, meaning _friend_: "He's an old pal of mine... My son's out with his pals..."
*Folk *is simply a synonym of _people_, used on less formal occasions.  In Britain it can sometimes be a form of address: _"Hi there, (you) folk(s)!"_


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## Hector9

It's good to see you continued with the topic!

It's veryyyyy complicated to know all the contexts, at least for a non-native.

Finally, I have decided to use "Friend" as a default word so I don't offend anyone, independently of the region where I use it.

Again, thank you very much


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## SeventyNine

GreenWhiteBlue said:


> As "folk" is a word that refers to a group of people, and not a single individual, there is no case at all in which you could ever use it as an individual term of address.
> 
> Have you really ever heard anyone say "Hello, folk!" to one person???????



You're right I've heard it always in plural, a good way to remember that rule is the classic cartoon end's  _That's all folks 

_


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## zaffy

I know BE uses "mate" when addressing male friends, yet this Brit addressed his brother. Is that natural?
And would it be possible to address a brother by "dude" in AE?


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## Keith Bradford

zaffy said:


> I know BE uses "mate" when addressing male friends, yet this Brit addressed his brother. Is that natural?...


I don't see why not.


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## pops91710

The answer is yes to both questions. However, dude is sort of out of fashion nowadays.


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## zaffy

pops91710 said:


> The answer is yes to both questions. However, dude is sort of out of fashion nowadays.


So what word is being used now?


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## zaffy

Keith Bradford said:


> I don't see why not.



Just asking because if "mate" means "friend", I find it weird as it would sound odd in Polish to address my son or my brother as "friend"


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## Loob

It would sound odd in English, too, to address your son or brother as "friend".


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## zaffy

Yes, so a 'mate' is not a 'friend'.


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## Loob

Well, a 'mate' is a 'friend'. But the *usage* of the two words is different.


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## zaffy

Bigote Blanco said:


> "Hey Buddy, if you touch me again I'm going to smash your face."





pops91710 said:


> Hey, buddy can you spare ten?



1. Does "dude" work in those examples in AE?
2. What is the BE equivalent of "buddy" in those scenarios?


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## Wordy McWordface

zaffy said:


> 2. What is the BE equivalent of "buddy" in those scenarios?


'Mate' would work in both of those.  In the first, 'mate' could be threatening if said in the right way, or else you could use 'pal' (as in the second example in #24), which is often used in threats.

The second example - of the beggar asking for change - would almost certainly be 'mate'.

As for the question of whether you can use 'mate' for fellow male family members, the answer is certainly 'yes'. You'll often hear the father or grandfather of a small boy calling the little fellow 'mate'.


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## zaffy

Wordy McWordface said:


> As for the question of whether you can use 'mate' for fellow male family members, the answer is certainly 'yes'. You'll often see fathers and grandfathers of a small boys calling the little fellow 'mate'.


And what if I was adrressing a female family member?


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## Wordy McWordface

You mean a dad or grandad talking to a little girl?  Maybe 'sweetheart' or 'love'.


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## dl77

Dude, hey man, g'day mate - these are invitations to carry on our conversation in a certain style, in the spirit that we're men talking to men as equals, we're not precious about our different roles or ranks, we like a bit of banter, we don't stand on ceremony. The exact style is dependent on fashion (not many hippies around anymore saying _hey man_), subculture (surfers, drug users), nation (Australians and their concept of _mateship_).

These forms of address are similar to using an informal _you_ in languages that have that distinction in their grammar. As you know, the informal _you_ can be impertinent or belittling if the person you're talking to thinks that the situation demands more formality, or that the difference in status needs to be respected.

Shop assistant: how can I help you, mate?

Me wanting to say (but holding my tongue): To begin with, I'm not your mate, buddy.



> ... used mainly by males, in reference to male friends (or, jocularly, female friends) ...



Yes, it's a masculine style of interaction, and when it's used between the sexes the implication is that the woman is one of the boys, can give as good as she gets, is renouncing chivalrous privileges of being shocked or offended.


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## zaffy

dl77 said:


> Shop assistant: how can I help you, mate?
> 
> Me wanting to say (but holding my tongue): To begin with, I'm not your *mate, buddy*.


I love this example. But "mate" is BE and "buddy" is AE, so kind of a mixture. Is that how IE could put it?

How would AE and BE put that example?


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## ewie

Keith Bradford said:


> Only a man will call another _mate_.


Pfffft ~ in Manchester *everyone* calls *everyone else* it. I've even heard folk addressing their dogs as _mate_.


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## dl77

zaffy said:


> "mate" is BE and "buddy" is AE, so kind of a mixture. Is that how IE could put it?



I hear _mate_ as an Australian import. We're culturally close to Australia, nevertheless _mate_ from a shop assistant is impertinent as far as I'm concerned - he's not just borrowing a word he picked up during his stay in Melbourne, he's imposing an expectation on me to participate in his little democratic vignette where we rise above our roles as customer and employee. I don't have the time for this, just point me in the direction of the menswear department, thank you very much, good day.

There was a very funny telecom ad a few years ago where a phone conversation between two Dubliners consisted entirely of them saying "story, bud?" (what's the story, buddy? what's new, my friend?) to each other. _Buddy_ has been around for as long as I remember - maybe imported from cowboy movies, don't know.


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## PaulQ

dl77 said:


> I hear _mate_ as an Australian import.


Mate has existed in British English since _c_1380  _ 
Sir Ferumbras _(1879) 1372 (_MED_)   Maumecet, my mate, y-blessed mot þou be, For aled þow hast muche debate. 

and has continued, uninterrupted to the present: My Mates, Your Mates - Page 3 Louise Villalon · 2014 "Making you more aware of _your mates_ So what do _your mates_ do and why are they with you?"


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## anthox

zaffy said:


> Bigote Blanco said:
> 
> 
> 
> "Hey Buddy, if you touch me again I'm going to smash your face."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> pops91710 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hey, buddy can you spare ten?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> 1. Does "dude" work in those examples in AE?
Click to expand...

Not really. I might casually address a friend as "dude" in certain limited contexts. But it's probably not a term I would use to a stranger if threatening them or asking them for money, nor expect to hear it myself in those situations.

If I wanted to be vaguely menacing or confrontational to a stranger, I'd call him "bro." 

_"Bro, you touch me again and I will f*** you up." _

Recently I was jogging down a path and some guy was standing blocking the whole passage with his dog on a long leash. He watched me approach but made no effort to step aside or retract the dog leash. I was annoyed by this, and to indicate as much, I jogged close enough to his left to brush against him and said, "'Scuse me, bro." The "bro" was meant to suggest, "You inconsiderate fool, you should have moved out of my way." 

As for asking for money, I hear people say "man" or "my man" if they are trying to be extra friendly:

_Yo my man, can you help me out? _(= give me money)


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## dojibear

I first heard the term "dude" (in the US) as California surfer slang for a male person. Around 1960? Later it was used by hippies for both genders. Later it got used by teen-agers and other people. But a lot of US people consider it slang and never use it. I never use it. This meaning is listed as "slang" in the WR dictionary, even in 2020.

Sometimes strangers use artificial terms of closeness to address me in public ("pal, friend, bro, my man, dude"). Or they might do something non-verbal, like hold out their hand to shake my hand, move close to me, or even pat my back. Salespeople do something similar on the telephone: their first sentence asks you how you are, as if this was a call from a friend or family member, instead of a total stranger.

These are all unusual behavior. Therefore they act as a warning: this person is trying to trick me or get money from me. Many of us react to this "phony intimacy" by being offended and becoming cautious.


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## PaulQ

dojibear said:


> I first heard the term "dude" (in the US)


Wasn't there such a thing as a "dude ranch" back in the 50s?


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## dl77

PaulQ said:


> Mate has existed in British English since _c_1380



Obviously I know it originates in England and is still used there. 

I still think that Irish shop assistants who call me _mate_ are more likely to have picked it up from Australians or from Australian soap operas. For one reason, it's hard to speak to an Australian for very long without hearing _mate_. With an Englishman, it depends on the Englishman and it depends on what he thinks about you.

_Mate_ is a declaration that the class system has been put aside at least for the duration of the conversation. So its meaning depends on the class system. These are different in England and Australia, and involve all sorts of gradations, sensitivities, hypocrisies that only the locals are fully tuned in to. The use of _mate_ by Irish people irritates me because they're transplanting a complex social convention from a foreign country and it doesn't work. We have a class system too, our own sensitivities and hypocrisies, our own ways of expressing the spirit that you're no better than I am. We have no real need for the word _mate_ or its associated protocols.


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## dojibear

PaulQ said:


> Wasn't there such a thing as a "dude ranch" back in the 50s?


Yes. That is a different meaning of "dude": a city person, unfamiliar with riding, animals and other rural things. Of course that is strictly a western US (rural) word.

A "dude ranch" was a resort created for city folk (and foreigners) who wanted to try the US "western" lifestyle for a few days. It had very tame horses to ride, "authentic" clothing to purchase, etc. "Dude ranch" dates back to 1921. 

There is another meaning also: a "dude" is a "foppish, over-fastidious male". That slang term was popular in the 1880s (at least in New York City) according to dude | Search Online Etymology Dictionary


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## zaffy

pops91710 said:


> I hear guys all the time address each other as 'dude',


So in AmE  friends address each other as "dude", and is "buddy" possible?

"Hi dude/buddy, how was your weekend?"

In BrE, this would "Hi mate, how was your weekend?", right?


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## PaulQ

The OED gives





> *Etymology: *Probably shortened  <  doodle n., perhaps with allusion to Yankee Doodle Dandy (see Yankee Doodle n.).
> The word was apparently popularized in New York early in 1883.  _N.E.D._ (1897) notes that it was associated with the Aesthetic Movement


I suspect it is all the same word.


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## dojibear

zaffy said:


> So in AmE friends address each other as "dude"


No friend has ever called me "dude". It is not used by everyone, or even most people. Some people use it, but I don't know who uses it. Maybe it is regional (some region of the US). Maybe it is a class thing. I don't know.

"Buddy" sounds very old-fashioned to me. 



zaffy said:


> So in AmE friends address each other as "dude", and is "buddy" possible?
> 
> "Hi dude/buddy, how was your weekend?"


No. In AmE, friends address each other by name. "Hi Sue! How was your weekend?"

Many US offices are the same way. Nobody uses titles. People use first names, even for their supervisor. If someone has a high position in the hierarchy, people might use their last name instead of their first name: "Excuse me, Mr. Smith" instead of "Excuse me, Roger".

The same is true when speaking to a stranger: you call them "Mr. Smith" until they give permission: ("Call me Roger").


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## zaffy

dojibear said:


> No. In AmE, friends address each other by name. "Hi Sue! How was your weekend?"



And how about such short replies? 

A: Tom, thanks for picking my kids up yesterday.
B: No problem, dude/buddy/bro.


A: I've made a coffee for you. Here. 
B: Oh, thanks dude/buddy/bro.


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## dojibear

Those are probably fine. I don't know. It's just regional, not everybody.

Where I live, people don't usually add a word to address the listener. They just say "No problem." and "Thanks."
If they want to say more syllables, they might say somethng like:
- No problem. Glad to help.
- No problem. Anytime.
- Anytime. Just ask.

- Oh, thanks. Just what I needed!
- Thanks! Great!


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## sound shift

zaffy said:


> So in AmE  friends address each other as "dude", and is "buddy" possible?
> 
> "Hi dude/buddy, how was your weekend?"
> 
> In BrE, this would "Hi mate, how was your weekend?", right?


There are some parts of the UK where "mate" is not used. It is in use where I live, but even there not everyone uses it and I don't recall a friend greeting me with "Hi mate". In my experience it's more typical to use a name or nothing at all, rather than "mate".


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## mr cat

Not sure how widespread it is but certainly in the North of England, probably predominately among younger men, 'bud/buddy is getting used a lot instead of/alongside 'mate'.


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