# Adressing Men and Women - Politeness



## Alxmrphi

I do know that 99% of all English politeness has disapeared somewhere, I don't know where, but anyway.

English has the words Sir / Madam, and they are almost never used, Spanish has Segnor and Segnora, and Italian has Signora and Signore, My question is, in these different cultures, do they equal the English equivilant, and it's us English who aren't polite? Or do we just omit the words where other countries say them, or are other countries just more polite than we are?


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## maxiogee

In a passing reference here I'll mention an incident related on a different thread…

Once, when working in a shop, I was coming back into the store when I realised that a customer was having a heated discussion with one of my staff. I approached him from the front of the counter and, with a nod to my colleague, said "Excuse me, sir, I'm the manager, may I help you?" He went ballistic and shouted "Don't 'sir' me!"
I was dumbstruck - how did he propose I address him? None of us knew his name.


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## Bettie

I was thinking about that yesterday, I know this person who address everybody he doesn't know as guy, "Hi, guy" "can I talk to you, guy", I think that is very rude.


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## Alxmrphi

Well, where I come from, in the youth, people address others in a variety of ways "man" "mate" "lad" or just everything but a statement to them "Hey, y'alright?".

But the frequency of it being used in other languages like Spanish and Italian and French is so so so much higher than in English, I was just wondering if anyone from these countries noticed it to, and have a possible explanation?

maxiogee, I haven't got a clue why anyone would react like that.

One of my friends on MSN has just opened a conversation with "alright boss"
it's obviously a joke, but, where I come from it's a lot more jokey and relaxed, as it always is among friends, even in the workplace, if your boss is quite down to earth and fun.


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## maxiogee

"alright boss" would be a standard Hiberno-English form of greeting - could your friend be Irish?


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## Fernando

Unluckily, I disagree with Alex Murphy. Spanish sepakers (specially, Spaniards) are getting ruder and ruder. 

We have virtually lost the "usted" treatment and the use of "Señor" (Sir) or "Señora" (Madam) is about to follow the track of "usted". The younger the speaker the worse.


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## natasha2000

maxiogee said:
			
		

> In a passing reference here I'll mention an incident related on a different thread…
> 
> Once, when working in a shop, I was coming back into the store when I realised that a customer was having a heated discussion with one of my staff. I approached him from the front of the counter and, with a nod to my colleague, said "Excuse me, sir, I'm the manager, may I help you?" He went ballistic and shouted "Don't 'sir' me!"
> I was dumbstruck - how did he propose I address him? None of us knew his name.


 
May I suggest that maybe the customer told that not because he did not want you to call him "sir", but because he was already very angry because of the quarrel he had had with your employee, so, this "Don't you "sir"me!" would rather mean "Don't you come now with your politeness when this employee of yours offended me (or whatever the quarrel was about...) than "Don't call me "sir"...
Maybe, I just say maybe, if there hadn't been that quarrel, he wouldn't have reacted at all when addressing him "sir"....




> English has the words Sir / Madam, and they are almost never used,


Alex, I am really surprised with this statement... I hear on daily basis in movies and series (American AND Bitish) people addressing politely to other people with Sir or Madam, when they do not know the name of the person in question...
Then Maxiogee is old fashioned? 

If this is really true, I wouldn't know how to address people if i went to Britain... 

What I noticed and it really is going on my nerves is that both here in Spain and in Serbia, doctors have a nasty custom to address their patients with "tu" (tutear), what in English would be calling them by their first names, even though there is no familiarity between them, and enen when they see their patient for the first time in their life. I really mind this and it bothers me a lot, since I consider it (not always, but in certain cases, yes) as the absence of respect. I can cope with doctor of more or less my age addressing me by my first name, but if the same doctor addresses my mother by her first name, I really consider it very rude, unpolite, and disrespectful.
Maybe I am just old fashioned, too...


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## badgrammar

I find that in this respect, you still here a lot of vouvoyement, use of the formal form of you).  ANd surprisingly, "Bonjour Madame, Bonjour Monsieur" "Oui, Madame" "Merci Madame") has not gone by the wayside yet.  Atleast in Paris and in my neck of the woods, I find the majority of people have maintained a degree of formality in the way they address others.  I like it, it's nice.

Reminds me of when I was at a local shopping mall where lots of young people hang out, some of whom look a little tough, like you'd avoid them.  I walked by with several packages and managed to lose my scarf.  

I started hearing "Maaa-dame! Maaa-dame!".  I cringed, what did they want". Then I turn around and one of them is walking up to me with my scarf and he says "M'dame, vous avez fait tombé ça," gives me the scarf, I think him and he replies "Il y a pas de quoi".  

Anyway, I guess I'm saying that even most young people here are taught to address people as "Madame" "Monsieur" (and also "Madamoiselle").


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## danielfranco

Over here, in the cowboy enclave, people go around all the time with "sir this, sir that" or "yes m'am, no m'am". Usually these are the older generation and the children. The young adults usually try to use first names for everything, and will every so often say "Sir's my father, my name is BangoSkank..." or whatever.
Also, when I lived near Corpus Christi, because of the military base in the area we'd see a lot of young people with severe haircuts walking ramrod straight and addressing everyone as Sir and M'am...


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## Chaska Ñawi

Here in both rural and urban Ontario, I am frequently addressed as ma'am.

In southern Mexico (and, interestingly, in rural Newfoundland), you call your elders Aunt and Uncle instead of Mr. and Mrs.   I also heard young men frequently addressing each other as "brother-in-law".  Before I understood this convention, I was astounded by the number of siblings my Oaxaca friends had!

Natasha, your reference to hospital etiquette is, alas, prevalent here as well.  It's even worse than using "tu", however.  While I was hospitalized it made me extremely angry hearing the nursing staff address elderly people as "honey", "sweetie", and other dimunitives, in addition to using their first name.  It sounded condescending, unprofessional and reeked of power-tripping.  By contrast, most of the doctors (except in Emergency) tended to use more formal language.


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## la reine victoria

In UK schools it was once commonplace to address teachers as "Miss" (regardless of marital status) or "Sir". This was discouraged at my schools and we were required to say, "Yes, Miss xxxxxxxx" or "Please Mr xxxxxxxx".

I've heard that the modern trend is to address teachers by their Christian name. Respect for teachers is declining - this could well be one of the reasons.

When I'm in a restaurant and wish to attract the attention of the waiter/waitress, I wait until one is in my vicinity and say, "Excuse me young man/young lady. If they are older I simply say, "Excuse me please ....."

When I am in France I always use Madame/Mademoiselle or Monsieur. In turn I am always addressed as Madame, by children and adults alike.


LRV


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## JonnieJag

I know I'll put your backs up on this one but I have always used the 'tu' form in French. Respect has nothing to do with 'vouvoiement' it is about what you say and how you say it. Of course as a non-native speaker I should toe the line - 'when in Rome' - but I just can't bring myself to say 'vous'.
tu vois?


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## maxiogee

natasha2000 said:
			
		

> Alex, I am really surprised with this statement... I hear on daily basis in movies and series (American AND Bitish) people addressing politely to other people with Sir or Madam, when they do not know the name of the person in question...
> Then Maxiogee is old fashioned?



Yes, I'm old-fashioned.
I was brought up to accept certain social norms.
Some of these I have shed - others I cling to.

Politelness to all is one of my core values.
If I don't know you, or if your social status had bestowed a title upon you, I will use it.
I stand up when someone enters the room I'm in, unless it is in a very informal setting, and even than I may.
I don't like to be addressed as "Tony" by doctors and medical staff who have never met me before. The form they take "Tony" from has my full name on it, please me and use it.
I open doors for the person coming in the opposite direction if they are likely to be coming through around the same time as I. I will estimate the arrival time of the next arrival before I let the door swing shut. Older people will be given more 'clearance time' than younger, as will those with a burden.

Politeness if an attitude to our relations with those we meet in life, and is not to be boiled down to a simple case of Mr & Mrs.


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## JonnieJag

Hello again, Of course I would agree with Tony - especially about the door bit - but
the use of 'tu' and 'vous' is a bit more pernicious than a simple question
of etiquette. People will often use 'vous' to keep others at a distance and
can be extremely offensive while using the 'vous' form.
On one occasion, after narrowly avoiding getting mown down on a pedestrian
crossing, I shouted "Tu es aveugle ?!" ('Are you blind?) to the guy who had screeched to a
halt. The ensuing arguement had a lot to do with his indignance that I had
said "Tu"


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## Agnès E.

In France, an adult addressing someone he doesn't know well using the _tu_ form IS seen as most unpolite and a lack of respect and consideration. I would suggest never use it until the other person does or proposes to pass to the _tu_ form. I would strongly recommend you to reconsider your position as for the _vous/tu_. 

I understand the reaction of the man to whom you shouted "_tu es aveugle_". Using the _tu_ form here was like insulting him very badly. Very risky, indeed.


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## hald

Question d'éducation très cher  

It's very difficult for me to use "tu" with people I don't know well, especially if they are older than me. I use "vous" with two possible intentions : being polite (most of time), or avoiding too much familiarity with someone.
But respect is a great part of why I use "vous" with some people. I use it with my mother in law, and I can't imagine using "tu" to address her, I would find it awfully rude.


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## natasha2000

maxiogee said:
			
		

> Yes, I'm old-fashioned.
> I was brought up to accept certain social norms.
> Some of these I have shed - others I cling to.
> 
> Politelness to all is one of my core values.
> If I don't know you, or if your social status had bestowed a title upon you, I will use it.
> I stand up when someone enters the room I'm in, unless it is in a very informal setting, and even than I may.
> I don't like to be addressed as "Tony" by doctors and medical staff who have never met me before. The form they take "Tony" from has my full name on it, please me and use it.
> I open doors for the person coming in the opposite direction if they are likely to be coming through around the same time as I. I will estimate the arrival time of the next arrival before I let the door swing shut. Older people will be given more 'clearance time' than younger, as will those with a burden.
> 
> Politeness if an attitude to our relations with those we meet in life, and is not to be boiled down to a simple case of Mr & Mrs.


 
I hope you did not misunderstand me, Maxiogee... 
All that you've written is something I really appreciate in someone's behviour, and of course, I do it, too...
Unfortunately, each day people are less careful, educated, polite... 
Why is that, beats me...


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## JonnieJag

Agnès - E 
In some countries it's considered rude to run people down. 'Le respect est réciproque' ... that's the point I'm making  : you can't stand on ceremony if you're standing on someone's foot
tu vois ?


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## Fernando

Chaska Ñawi said:
			
		

> While I was hospitalized it made me extremely angry hearing the nursing staff address elderly people as "honey", "sweetie", and other dimunitives, in addition to using their first name.



RIGHT. I have witnessed the same. It is a complete insult.


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## natasha2000

JonnieJag said:
			
		

> People will often use 'vous' to keep others at a distance quote]
> 
> Yes, I use "tu" for this, too... And I don't see anything wrong in it.
> 
> For example, everyone at my work calls our boss by his name and addresses his with "tu". In this way, he feels more comfortable, but sometimes passes the border of what is bussiness and what is private, like sending someone from office to buy flowers for his wife etc, and many other things that are NOT included in the job description of my colleagues.
> 
> Since my first day at work, I call him by his name (he insisted), but I continue addressing him "Usted". I myself have the impression that in this way (among other things, of course), keep the professional relationship with him, but all my colleagues agree that with me he never crossed the line. Maybe partialy it is due to my stubborn "Usted"....


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## viera

I find that in this respect, you still here a lot of vouvoyement, use of the formal form of you). ANd surprisingly, "Bonjour Madame, Bonjour Monsieur" "Oui, Madame" "Merci Madame") has not gone by the wayside yet. Atleast in Paris and in my neck of the woods, I find the majority of people have maintained a degree of formality in the way they address others. I like it, it's nice."

I entirely agree with Badgrammar and I too like it.

Part of the explanation may be that French has the perfect words Monsieur and Madame.  Polite, respectful and without any unwanted overtones.  
Granted, English does have the forms of address _Sir_ and _Madam_, but they are flawed and I rarely use them.  _Sir_ sounds too fromal, overly respectful, military even.  _Madam is too high-class, hoity-toity _even.  And I have never actually used _Ma'am_, it's all right in hicktown or cowboy movies.

I agree with Agnès that  "_tu es aveugle_" is very aggressive indeed.  But _tu _is less shocking when it comes from an obvious foreigner who presumably doesn't know any better.


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## badgrammar

JonnieJag said:
			
		

> Agnès - E
> In some countries it's considered rude to run people down. 'Le respect est réciproque' ... that's the point I'm making  : you can't stand on ceremony if you're standing on someone's foot
> tu vois ?



Jonnie, while I understand the idea behind not wanting to use "vous", I would also realllly encourage you to consider trying it.  You just don't address an older person you don't know as "tu".  That is terribly direspectful.  You can, though probably shouldn't, address another adult you don't know using "tu", but at it's just rude.  There are exceptions to that, certain situations where it happens naturally, but ya, if you shout "tu es aveugle", you're looking for a fight .

I guess it also depends on what you're doing in France, but if you're gonna' live here, you might want to think about learning local ways.  Sure, "vou" seems weird because we don't have it in English  But they DO have it in France, and it's part of their "savoir-vivre"...


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## GenJen54

JonnieJae said:
			
		

> tu vois?


 No, actually, I don't. Having lived in France myself and travelled there on many occasions, I always took EXTREME care to use "tu" and "vous" in their proper contexts.

Your eschewing of "vous" simply because it doesn't suit your tastes (and yes, it does have a GREAT deal to do with respect), I find arrogant and disrespectful to the people in whose country you are living. 

One of my best friends in France was a young woman whose family I had the privilege of visiting very often. I always "vous-voyezed" her parents. After several visits, they told me I was welcome to use tu with them. I also called them Monsieur Blanc and Madame Blanc.

When I visited her grandmother in Paris, however, I obviously never used "tu." Further, I never addressed her as anything but Madame, and only spoke to her when spoken to. It was simply her way, having come from a very staunch Paris family.

If I were to travel back to Paris today, I would still do the same.  

I do not know your age (it's not on your profile), but I would guess that you are of a much younger generation than myself. Such niceties and politesse are lost on many younger people, even within my own country.


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## JonnieJag

I'm old enough to remember socialism but that's beside the point. My point was, and I must be expressing myself wrong, was that some guy who had tried to run me down expected me to say 'vous'. 
There used to be a 'vous' form in English (thee and thou) and I'll bet The Times got some very strongly worded letters when youngsters went around saying "Are thee blind?"


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## badgrammar

No, it was just adding insult to injury to use "tu" with the guy in that situation.  But as a cyclist in Paris I am not entirely unfamiliar with Parisian road rage (my own) and getting run down, and I have used "tu" myself like that before...  When I really wanted to get nasty, that is.  It justs makes the affront that much more heated.  

So just beware that using "tu" instead of "vous" should be a conscious decision, and in that case, a decision to have a big confrontation.  Had you said "vous" it MIGHT not have escalated.

So I understand why you might have intentionally employed "tu" in that situation.  But, I really think you shouls consider using "vous" in any other situation where you want to come off as having some degree of social skills.  

The use of "tu" is sometimes forgiven when used by foreigners who don't know better, as well as by many 1st generation immigrants from all parts of the African continent (especially the women, but also men), who see no need for it.  This is a particular case, though, where tutoiement is accepted and mostly reciprocated.  But I bet you don't fit that description.

It took me a while to get used to tu and vous, but I now enjoy the "distance" it allows and gives.  Now I say learn it and start use it, you will get better service and more smiles everywhere you go.


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## Outsider

JonnieJag said:
			
		

> There used to be a 'vous' form in English (thee and thou) and I'll bet The Times got some very strongly worded letters when youngsters went around saying "Are thee blind?"


The "vous" form of English was and is "you". "Thou" is the equivalent of "tu".
Notice how it was the formal treatment that was kept.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Outsider said:
			
		

> The "vous" form of English was and is "you". "Thou" is the equivalent of "tu".
> Notice how it was the formal treatment that was kept.



Actually, it was a bit more complicated than that.

thee - _you _singular, informal
thou - _you _singular, formal (used to indicate respect to a "superior", not distance the way _vous _and _usted _are used)
you - _you _plural, formal and informal

The Quakers took to using "thee" to make manifest their belief that all human beings were created equal - and got into a LOT of trouble for not using "thou" to people who considered themselves their social betters.


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## JonnieJag

Vous avez raison. Okay, but this is going to mean  having to learn how to conjugate stuff in the 2nd person plural!


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## Alxmrphi

Wow!

I never realised the difference a different form could be, with English, modern English anyway, there is no way I could insult someone in a certain situation by calling them a different form of "you"..

In France/Spain - is it custom to ALWAYS use the formal upon first meeting someone? I know that in Italian, in a shop, or a business, it's common to use the informal, does this apply here too?


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## badgrammar

JonnieJag said:
			
		

> Vous avez raison. Okay, but this is going to mean  having to learn how to conjugate stuff in the 2nd person plural!



Yes, and I imagine that where your real resistance to vous came in, the real probem was not knowing (or being used to using) vous.  There are languages where I can conjugate the tu but not vous forms of address, so I avoid it.  I understand.  But even if you conjugate incorrectly, using vous will be much more appreciated.  Bon courage!


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## Edher

maxiogee said:
			
		

> In a passing reference here I'll mention an incident related on a different thread…
> 
> Once, when working in a shop, I was coming back into the store when I realised that a customer was having a heated discussion with one of my staff. I approached him from the front of the counter and, with a nod to my colleague, said "Excuse me, sir, I'm the manager, may I help you?" He went ballistic and shouted "Don't 'sir' me!"
> I was dumbstruck - how did he propose I address him? None of us knew his name.



Hola Maxiogee,

     I think that in this particular case, by the response of this short-tempered subject, he wasn't really saying "do not address me as 'sir'" what I think he was really saying is "Do not try to get me to calm down by acting politely." Or who knows, maybe he's having a mid-life crisis trying hard to hold on to those wonder years.

Edher


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## Agnès E.

Alex_Murphy said:
			
		

> In France/Spain - is it custom to ALWAYS use the formal upon first meeting someone?


Yes, it is in France, at least among adults or when an adult is involved. 
I would even go further: I use to say _vous_ to teenagers (roughly from 15) whom I meet for the first time. They usually appreciate being treated as adults and feel more self-confident and respected.  



> I know that in Italian, in a shop, or a business, it's common to use the informal, does this apply here too?


Oh no, surely not in France!


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## maxiogee

Natasha, I think there is no mis-understanding.
You referred to me as "old fashioned".
I proudly accept that.
My late grandmother would find it hard to believe - she believed me an ill-mannered child, who would doubtless amount to nothing. Seems "amounting' is in the eye of the beholder - like beauty'.


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## Idioteque

Alex_Murphy said:
			
		

> I know that in Italian, in a shop, or a business, it's common to use the informal, does this apply here too?



Well, Alex, it depends on what you intend as "informal". The usage of "signore", "signora" or "signorina" is very common if associated to the "lei" form (sorry but I don't know how to render this 'lei" in English), just as well as the French "vous". In Italian you should always use the "lei" form when speaking to an adult you don't know, otherwise you're considered "rude", "impolite" or simply ill-mannered. But, in spite of this, its usage depends a lot on the "age" of the speakers. I'm 22, and I've probably never happened to be addressed in a formal way (i.e "lei") by people of my same age. It would probably sound weird...  but I would never dream not to use a formal "approach" with an adult I don't know, especially if he/she were older than me! I would find it extremely rude and impolite!  Beyond this, I think that it's not correct to say that in Italian shops "it's common to us the informal form", since also in this case it depends on the age of the speakers.  If I enter into a shop and the shop assistant is a girl/boy of my age, almost surely she/he will neither call me "signorina" nor use the "lei" form... it would sound very awkward.  But if the shop assistant is much older than me, he/she will definitely be more formal. The same is if the customer is older than me: always a formal form! 

I would be really interested in knowing if it's the same abroad. I mean, if the two interlocutors are quite young, do they use a "formal" form?  If I meet a girl/boy of my same age, I find it natural to address her in an informal way...

Laura


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## Sulizhen

I guess that Spanish people are not as "strict" as our French neighbours regarding to the use of "usted"/"tú" -at least, in the area where I live.

Although it depends on the context (the familiarity between the speakers, the situation...), in general terms, people tend to think that "usted" should be used just to address to "old" people and in very formal situations -talking to a Government employee, for example. Some people even get kind of offended if you use "usted" when talking to them, because they think you're calling them "old" -actually, I work as a waitress, and most people of 40-50 years old (and older) ask me to address to them as "tú" instead "usted" by this reason.

Personally, I address everyone using "usted", specially if he/she is someone I don't know or someone I've just met. I just do one exception: with people around my age (I'm 26) or younger, I never use "usted" just because it could sound pretentious and snobbish, even ridiculous for some tastes. In fact, almost nobody I know uses "usted" addressing to teenagers/people in their early twenties -I had a teacher at High School that employed "ustedes" referring to us, and instead of being considered polite by his pupils, he started to be considered pedantic, unfortunately...

It's very usual among people who have just been introduced to one another to change "usted" for "tú" if one of the speakers asks the other to address him/her as "tú". Picking up the example of the doctor that somebody mentioned above, I remember the first time I went with my mother to the doctor's. He asked her what happened, addressing her as "tú" and she replied the same way -using "tú". As soon as my mother did so, the nurse told her off that a doctor should always be addressed as "usted", and that puzzled me, because he was the first one in letting aside the "usted" treatment. It's still extended the belief that people with any kind of academic degree is superior to the rest of the mortals.

About "señor/a" (I don't talk about "señorita", because I don't know anybody from Spain who uses it apart from very formal contexts), in day-to-day situations,  I only use them with elderly people ("buenos días, señora Ramona").

However, I repeat, it depends on the situation... I even know people who address their parents as "usted".

Anyway, sometimes I wonder how many of these treatments are a "social lubricant" more than a sign of real respect -I know some people who, despite of using "usted" and "señor/a", are really disrespectful and rude, and I'm not referring to explicit rudeness, insulting words and so on, but to their attitude...


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## wsitiplaju

In response to Laura’s question about young interlocutors, I was dumbfounded to find that my Colombian friends (we are in our late 20s) address each other as “usted.”  The very idea of using “tú” caused fits of hysterical giggling.  On the other hand, a couple of these friends urged me to address their mother as “tú,” something equally inconceivable to me.  I think they were trying to make me feel at home, but at any rate I couldn’t bring myself to use “tú” with her, though my friends assured me that she would be greatly offended if I didn’t.


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## Alxmrphi

Idioteque said:
			
		

> Well, Alex, it depends on what you intend as "informal". The usage of "signore", "signora" or "signorina" is very common if associated to the "lei" form (sorry but I don't know how to render this 'lei" in English), just as well as the French "vous". In Italian you should always use the "lei" form when speaking to an adult you don't know, otherwise you're considered "rude", "impolite" or simply ill-mannered. But, in spite of this, its usage depends a lot on the "age" of the speakers. I'm 22, and I've probably never happened to be addressed in a formal way (i.e "lei") by people of my same age. It would probably sound weird...  but I would never dream not to use a formal "approach" with an adult I don't know, especially if he/she were older than me! I would find it extremely rude and impolite!  Beyond this, I think that it's not correct to say that in Italian shops "it's common to us the informal form", since also in this case it depends on the age of the speakers.  If I enter into a shop and the shop assistant is a girl/boy of my age, almost surely she/he will neither call me "signorina" nor use the "lei" form... it would sound very awkward.  But if the shop assistant is much older than me, he/she will definitely be more formal. The same is if the customer is older than me: always a formal form!
> 
> I would be really interested in knowing if it's the same abroad. I mean, if the two interlocutors are quite young, do they use a "formal" form?  If I meet a girl/boy of my same age, I find it natural to address her in an informal way...
> 
> Laura



Thank you for your reply!

I found the comment in my grammar book, let me type it here..

"(c) *voi*, besides being the plural form of *tu*, is used in commerce.

Il prezzo che (*voi*) domnandate è alto."

Isn't this the case?


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## Outsider

Sulizhen said:
			
		

> I guess that Spanish people are not as "strict" as our French neighbours regarding to the use of "usted"/"tú" -at least, in the area where I live.


I was thinking the same. In Portugal, two adults don't usually address each other as "tu" when they meet for the first time, except perhaps in particularly informal situations. Being addressed as "tu" by a shopkeeper is unheard of!


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## jinti

Sulizhen said:
			
		

> I remember the first time I went with my mother to the doctor's. He asked her what happened, addressing her as "tú" and she replied the same way -using "tú". As soon as my mother did so, the nurse told her off that a doctor should always be addressed as "usted", and that puzzled me, because he was the first one in letting aside the "usted" treatment. It's still extended the belief that people with any kind of academic degree is superior to the rest of the mortals.


 
That happens here, too. I remember going to see one doctor about my own age (mid-thirties) for the first time, and being quite offended when he called me by my first name. (I was already annoyed that he had kept me waiting nearly two hours, so I wasn't in much of a mood for tolerance.) So when I answered him, I used his first name, too. And then he gave me _the look_ -- you know, arched eyebrow and all -- and said, "That's Dr. xxx." And I said, "Then it's Ms. xxx to you." He just stared at me for a second and then nodded, and we got on with a rather icy examination. But he never did that to me again (I think he wrote it in my chart!), and I wonder if it made a difference in how he spoke to his other patients.

I have also corrected nurses and doctors who call my grandmother by her first name (she is in and out of hospitals often). She won't correct them herself, but she hates being addressed that way by people young enough to be her great-grandchildren. I just say, "She prefers to be called Mrs. xxx," and most of the time, with a few reminders, the medical staff accommodates the request.


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## Pivra

Thai has T-V system and its just too much we wish we could get rid of it.

You can turn into

Tua
Ther
Khun
Than
Kae
Meaung
Eng
Nai
Lhon
Jao

Same type of thing applies to I, He, She, It, We, They

How the definite article (I dont know if I can call them articles) looks like infront of the noun also indicates the formality and politeness of the sentence.


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## macta123

In India(spl. North India in Hindi) we add -ji at the end of names to give a sound of respect ( When required ). In informal atmosphere it is not at all required. 
We simply call a street vendor - " Bhaiyya " ( Real meaning being Brother )
or sometimes add " Bhiyajji ". They call back as " Sirji " Or Saab and " Madam or Madamji.
In formal contion - "Madam" , "Sir" etc is definately used
" Deviyon and Sajjano " (Ladies and Genetlman) is these days used only in Public Delivery of Speeches.


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## shihab-alain

Here in the UAE, especially in the Christian community, Auntie and Uncle along with the first name(e.g. Uncle Freddy) are used to refer to someone older than you. A lot of it depends on where the person is from though: I would never dream of using anything except Auntie and Uncle for the Indian adults on my church, although I talk with some of the American adults on a first name basis. 

Even i get called uncle, which is a bit strange(I'm only 18). Sometimes people juxtapose the words so I become "Sam Uncle".


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