# я люблю тебя / я тебя люблю



## democracymonkey

Hello,  What I would like to know is if these phrases are too strong to say to a friend?  "я люблю тебя" or "я тебя люблю"  I was under the impression they don't exactly give the same sense depending on the order...  Is it only used when the two people are lovers or can you use it to show you appreciate them? Would you use moreso "Ты мне нравишься" if it is just a friend??  Spasibo in advance


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## Maroseika

Depends on the context but is mostly applied to the beloved. Your second phrase also can be hardly used among the friends save of some special context of course. All this of course refers to the phrase addressed to the one of the opposite sex.


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## democracymonkey

For example in this context is it too strong to say to 'just a friend'...

я давно тебе этого не говорил, я тебя люблю!


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## Maroseika

Sure, it is.
Addressee immediately will realize you are not "just the friends" anymore. Unless you show you are kind of joking.
On the other hand, if you did not say that "for a long time", this means you did say that in the past? And "just the friends" until now nevertheless? A bit strange...


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## Slavianophil

Be careful: if you say "я люблю тебя" to a friend of the opposite sex, the friend may decide that you want to start an affair, if not a marriage. The results may be more serious than you would like.  And if you say it to a friend of the same sex you may get into some very embarrassing situation.

"Ты мне нравишься" is less dangerous, it means just 'I like you'. But even this may make someone draw the wrong conclusions.

If you want just to tell someone how fond you are of him/her it would be safer to say something like: "Ты замечательный человек!"


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## Slavianophil

democracymonkey said:


> For example in this context is it too strong to say to 'just a friend'...
> 
> я давно тебе этого не говорил, я тебя люблю!


 
To me it sounds just what a considerate husband/lover should regularly say to his wife/girlfriend if he wants their relationship to be stable and happy.


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## ExMax

It depends on personalities. Traditionally, "Я тебя люблю" is a sign of a high point in relations. But sometimes it means nothing. "I love you" - "Me too" - "Me three" 
I guess that Russian "Я тебя люблю" means more than American "I love you"  . I don't know why...


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## democracymonkey

Very interesting responses. I guess the conotations are more ambiguous than in english? obviously the intonation and situation play a huge role with this phrase. thank you the for responses.

to Maroseika:

If i had said just as a thank you to a favour to a friend, I'm female and he is male: "ya tebya lublu!!" very innocent with actually no love behind the phrase. Then later on, this same friend did something nice for me and just at a certain point I said "я давно тебе этого не говорил, я тебя люблю!" Could this be construed as more than friendship? Is it too strong?


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## petruchito

Democracymonkey, this almost certainly will be treated as an expression of love, you better use 'i adore you' 'Я тебя обожаю' in a joking intonation/with smile if in chat. I love you is relatively serious phrase in russian just like 'Te quiero' in spanish.
Example:
-Я принес то, что ты просила
-Я тебя обожаю, спасибо. 
Means that you are glad very much that he did for you (and maybe that he always do for you when you ask for) and not trying to say about  love


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## Maroseika

democracymonkey said:


> to Maroseika:
> 
> If i had said just as a thank you to a favour to a friend, I'm female and he is male: "ya tebya lublu!!" very innocent with actually no love behind the phrase. Then later on, this same friend did something nice for me and just at a certain point I said "я давно тебе этого не говорил, я тебя люблю!" Could this be construed as more than friendship? Is it too strong?


If said neutrally it's too strong on my opinion, but you can provide it with some special intonation and mimicry to "soften" it.
Anyway it should sound as a joke.
After all, "I'll kill you" also doesn't mean necessarily I really am going to kill you?


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## Stanis

In Russian the words 'love' and 'hate' are used in their literal meaning more often than in English. For example the word 'hate'. My UK nieces say 'I hate this bread' which sounds clumsy in direct Russian translation "Ненавижу этот хлеб". Russians would say  "терпеть не могу"= can't stand. The expression 'I love you' can never equal 'I like you' if you hear it from somebody of the opposite sex. Unless it's a joke. It's typical to hear 'Anyway I love you' (from a close friend) after you have done something wrong. Seems it depends on who says that (did you get the flowers?)


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## polysonic

Everything depends on the situation. As for me, I can say "Я тебя люблю" as the words of thanking (thanksgiving), when I find the words "Большое спасибо" too poor for expressing all the feelings %-)))). But once actually it played wrong - I was misunderstood. So it depends on the person and his sense of humour )) Because everybody knows the common context of these words...


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## stargzr

DemocracyMonkey,

i think a good way to look at it would be through a cultural lense. 
The only time i can see two Russian men tell each other "I love you" where it is socially acceptable, is in a very casual situation which usually involves some alcohol and a couple of childhood friends. at that point everybody "loves" everybody and life is great in general.

Other than that, those words are usually not thrown around much like in the West when it can be said, I love you man or woman for just about anything.


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## Marky78

Hi Guys,

I am an english speaker and just want to know if it is okay to say Ya Tebya Lublu between friends - ie, is it okay for a married man or woman to say ya tebya lublu to an old boyfriend or girlfriend?

Thanks.


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## Ptak

Yes, "я тебя люблю" does not mean only sex. You can say it to friends, or parents, or brothers, or sisters, too.
Actually, much depends on the situation, the intonation, and so on.


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## Marky78

Hi Ptak,

Thanks for the quick reply. So if I recently noticed that my wife, who is Russian, sent a text to one of her old boyfriends that she hadn't seen for years saying "Ya Tebya Lublu Tozhe" then I shouldn't be upset? It sounds like Ya Tebya Lublu does not have the same meaning/impact as in English?

It just seems a little bit strange to me even though she claims that nothing was meant by it and that he would completely understand that it was just a friendly thing to say/do.


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## Ptak

Everything depends on context, Marky.
I only can confirm that it definitely _can_ be just a friendly thing.


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