# Living with your parents or living on your own?



## Etcetera

Ciàu,
The thread Is there a housing crisis in your country? made me wonder about such a thing. Do grown-up children prefer to stay with their parents, or do they move to places of their own (a rented flat, for example)? 
In Russia, it really depends on the family. Of course, those who don't have too friendly relationships with their parents would do their best to leave their parents' house as soon as possibe. Most move to campuses after entering a university or college. Some rent flats or rooms. But quite many young people stay with their parents, for various reasons. 
I might have moved to a campus when I entered the University, but I really like living in my home. No, I don't have too easy relationships with my family, but still we can't imagine living separately. In some distant future, perhaps, but not now.
So, how things are in your culture?


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## Hebe-asteriod

I can tell you that most Lantin American childern prefer living with their parents until they get married and start a family on their own. Yet, duirng the time I lived in the USA I noticed that most children prefer finding a place sepaarte from their families. And I was even more surprised to learn that when they intend staying home their own parents tell them to start looking for another place. Lke you say: it´s just a matter of culture.


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## Etcetera

Hola Hebe.


Hebe-asteriod said:


> And I was even more surprised to learn that when they intend staying home their own parents tell them to start looking for another place. Lke you say: it´s just a matter of culture.


Perhaps the parents do that not because they want to get rid of their offspring, but because they want their kids to learn to live on their own, independently. Not a bad skill in our world.


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## Hebe-asteriod

Etcetera said:


> Hola Hebe.
> 
> Perhaps the parents do that not because they want to get rid of their offspring, but because they want their kids to learn to live on their own, independently. Not a bad skill in our world.


 
I totally agree with you. It was still surprising for me becuase in my culture, parents normally want to retain their childern home for as long as posssible


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## fenixpollo

In the US the answer to your question is "living on your own".  The US has a very individualistic culture*, where the emphasis is on individuals, their independence from others, and their achievements. The family is valued, but not to the same degree as in (most) other cultures.

Children in the US are expected to leave home at or near age 18, which is the legal age of maturity. The general attitude is that children must be independent of their parents, with their own jobs, their own houses/apartments, their own responsibilities.  

This attitude is reflected in the language, in expressions such as _cutting the cord_ (the umbilical cord) and _leaving the nest_.  Children are considered to be like birds, who must learn how to fly by themselves, and as soon as they can fly alone, they leave the nest and never return.  Parents whose children have all left home are sometimes depressed and lonely, and they are said to have _empty nest syndrome_.  

Even so, the ideal is for parents to rejoice in their freedom to live their own lives, to keep their own schedules and to travel.  The children who leave home are respected for their strength and independence.  Those children who live at home into their mid- and late-20s are considered (emotionally) weak and (mentally) unhealthy. 

*this just a generalization and is not intended to create a debate about the origins of American culture. In general, except when they're not, Americans tend to be more focused on the individual than on the group.


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## Poetic Device

I lived with my parents until I was married because I could not afford to live by myself.  Now that I am divorced and have a daughter and two boys on the way I am back with my 'rents for the same reason as before.  What would I prefer?  Well, I can tell you that I sure as you're born don't want to be living here.


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## Hebe-asteriod

I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. I am finantially independent from my parents. In fact they depend on me for their support. Yet I enjoy being with them .. They are growing old and I don´t know how how much longer I will have the pleasure of their companionship. advice and love


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## cucu

In Turkey, it is almost impossible for you to live on your own unless you go to the university or earn your living. Families don't want you to leave your home, especially if you are a girl. Because in our country, living alone is so difficult. Earning money is not a piece of cake. But the other side of the coin is that if you go to university, you live on your own provided that money which your parents send to you. But after that if you can't find a job, a good job, you go on living with your parents even if you are 23 or 25. 

In fact, it is not thought as an insult but a must.


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## srta chicken

My mom noticed that when her mom got divorced, she was completely incapable of doing anything, because she had always relied on her husband for everything. My mom swore her kids would never be that way, and starting when we were only in 2nd or 3rd grade, she taught us how to make dentist appointments and the like. We learned to equate independence with success.

Lately I tried dating a guy (early thirties) who lives with his folks. I must say, part of the reason it didn't work was that his lack of independence was a total turn-off; he wasn't a real man to me. 

It looks like the repercussions of my grandma's behavior are far greater than anyone could have ever imagined.


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## mirx

> They are growing old and I don´t know how how much longer I will have the pleasure of their companionship. advice and love.


 
This is the thought of, I would say, every single mexican. You are not a person, you are a family. I have always been very independent I started seeing for myself when I was 15, I moved out last year (had just turned 20) and my parents still don't forgive and can't get over or understand the fact that I "abandoned" them, they both cry every time I go visit and beg me to come back home.

In México children are children until they get married and until then they are not supposed to leave home. Usually mothers moved with their kids to the city when they have to go to college. If that's not possible they will have their kids live with relatives.

I honestely don't know anyone my age, who has moved out and makes his own life just for the sake of being independent.

What a world!


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## djchak

I moved out at age 26, and had wanted to since I was 17

I graduated college at 23, and pretty much had to work my way up, changing jobs for better pay every 9 months or so...until I could afford an apartment...not a great one either...

I now live in a 3 bedroom house by myself, and might move to another state...

In comparison to the rest of the world, the US is very individualistic. Living with parents past college age is really looked down upon. It's MUCH harder as you get older, also....if everyone else has moved out, what reason do you have to still be at home?

Still, it motivates you to be your own person, and find out who you are.


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## Etcetera

djchak said:


> Still, it motivates you to be your own person, and find out who you are.


Hmm... Quite frankly, I don't think that moving away from your parents is the only way to "find out who toy are". It really depends. Parents are different, and some of them are very easy to live with.
Another opportunity is to live separately, but not far from your parents, as some of my friends do.


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## sdr083

In Norway we are more or less expected to move out during or right after high school. My brothers are now 17 and 19 and neither of them lives with my parents. I went on a 6-month excange when I was 18 (after high school) and then moved back in with my parents for 6 months before going to the university. I found it really hard. I have always had an excelent relationship with my parents, even as a teenager, they are very easy to live with and the house is big so this was not the problem. My parents always told us that they would support us, pay for food, school-stuff, clothes etc. until we were 18, but after that, if we wanted to continue living at home, we would be expected to contribute in some way.

Norway is a rather big country with a very spread-out population, and for a lot of people moving away from home is the only option if they want to get an education (this is why my brothers moved out at 17). Even if you don't have to move to go to school, staying with your parents into your 20s is considered absolutely weird. I am now 23 and I do not have one single friend who still lives at home. I would also seriously think twice about dating a guy my age who still lived with his parents! At the moment I am living in Spain, and many of my friends here are southern europeans who still live with their parents. (One of the most negative, but also most common stereotypes of southern european guy is the _mamas boy_ who lives with his parents til he's 30 and can do nothing on his own.) I have found that the economic situation is the most important difference between Southern European and Norwegian students. The Norwegian state gives all students a scholarship and a loan which makes it possible for us to move out, and this is the reason I have basically been independent from my parents in any way, also economically, since I was 19.


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## amnariel

Hebe-asteriod said:


> I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. I am finantially independent from my parents. In fact they depend on me for their support. Yet I enjoy being with them .. They are growing old and I don´t know how how much longer I will have the pleasure of their companionship. advice and love


 
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who still lives with her parents for these reasons 

Sometimes I wish I could afford to move out from my parents and finally have my own daily tempo, not theirs, but on the other hand, I know that I would not be able to afford renting my own place, which of course means many little and big expences, and helping my parents. Expences are just too great to make this possible with my quite decent salary for national average in my country.

Many, many young people in my country stay with their parents until marriage, it's not only about tradition, since traditions are changing with modern age, but mainly because of economic aspect - it's way too expensive....


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## CrazyArcher

The cost of housing is pretty high in Israel, so people stay with their parents at least till they finish the military service (20-21). When people start the university/college, it depends on the distance from home. I live with my parents, making a trip of 1.5 hrs on train to each end very day, but some of my friends jointly rent a flat, living too far from home, or have a room in the dorms. Generally people start to live on their own after completing BA and starting to work (age 27 or something).

Speaking of myself, I'd leave home if I could, but my income barely covers my day-to-day needs... Not that I have bad relations with my family, I just want more freedom


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## Crescent

It's quite interesting how things differ from culture to culture, isn't it? 

For example, in my home country - Ukraine, all my friends (who are just above my age - in their early thirties, mostly) still live with their parents but aren't married yet and don't have families of their own. However, over here in England, it is almost a custom to move out once you reach 18 or there about, to go to University. Most young people actually choose to go to university away from their home town, in order to escape their parents and gain more freedom. I'm not quite at that age yet, and I'm not entirely sure of what I want to do when I do go to university.. We shall see. 

I'm also currently studying this topic of youngsters staying at home with their parents, in my Spanish lessons at college, where we are told that most Spaniards go to university in their home town and therefore live with their parents. It's quite senseible really - you don't have to pay double sets of bills, double accomodation, etc. I remember reading this article called ''Los Jóvenes Españoles Se Independizan Cada Vez más Tarde'' and seeing a phrase which caught my eye: _*Volar del nido*_. ^^ How adorable!


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## Jeedade

Other than the economical reasons already mentioned in various postings, I have also observed a supply and demand issue in Southern Europe; because of historical / cultural reasons people tend(ed) to stay at home until they marry, this has created a lack of supply in small, cheap housing for young people. So, even if the money is there (which more and more seems to be the case) it would still be practically impossible to move out.
I moved out of the house at 20 or so, as is normal in Northern Europe. I have always had a good relationship with my parents, and I really like my life now (not married, but living together with my _dolce metà_ and kid), still I look back on the 10 or so years I lived alone before settling down as the best years of my life …


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## jinti

My brother left home at 17, and I left at 19.  It wasn't because of problems with our parents; it was more the desire for independence and freedom.  When I left home, I only lived 3 miles away from my parents, but it was still scary and exciting to be on my own. 

Here in the U.S., living on your own (or with roommates) is just seen as part of growing up and learning to be responsible for yourself.  I think it's a good experience to have between living with your parents and living with your spouse.


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## Hebe-asteriod

It depends on one's criterion of independence ... If your parents are paying for your tuition, as well as room and board at college, you are not really independent .... no matter how far from home you are ... in such case it is more sensible on you part to avoid your parents' the extra cost of your college education. Choosing a college far away from home because it best suits your professional expectations is one thing, but choosing a college far away from home to be independent while having your parents pay your tuition makes not sense and is not fair to them


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## Maeskizzle

I left home at 18 to go to college.  I couldn´t wait to get out of the house because my parents imposed a strict curfew.  When I finished school, I moved back in with my folks for close to two years as a way to work and save money.  I loved living with them because I enjoy their company and we had meals together, took turns cooking and walking the dogs and I felt like just one more adult in the house.  Curfew was still an issue because my folks worry a lot and I like to stay out late.  So I would spend the night at friends´ houses if I went out at night.  That way they didn´t worry.

Now I live with my boyfriend, not my folks.  It´s really nice.


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## Poetic Device

I think that with moving back with your parents part of why moving back in turns out so well is because when everyone is back together there is a new sense of appreciation.  Everything is fresh.


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## tvdxer

Etcetera said:


> Ciàu,
> The thread Is there a housing crisis in your country? made me wonder about such a thing. Do grown-up children prefer to stay with their parents, or do they move to places of their own (a rented flat, for example)?
> In Russia, it really depends on the family. Of course, those who don't have too friendly relationships with their parents would do their best to leave their parents' house as soon as possibe. Most move to campuses after entering a university or college. Some rent flats or rooms. But quite many young people stay with their parents, for various reasons.
> I might have moved to a campus when I entered the University, but I really like living in my home. No, I don't have too easy relationships with my family, but still we can't imagine living separately. In some distant future, perhaps, but not now.
> So, how things are in your culture?



In the U.S., uni-bound kids often move out of the house to live on campus once they begin university, typically at age 18.  When the academic year ends (usually early or mid-May), they return home for the summer.  Most schools seem to require freshmen (first-year students) to live on campus; this sometimes extends to sophomores (second-year students) as well.  When they're no longer _required_ to live in the on-campus dorms / suites, they might still elect to stay there and return home for summers, or move out to an apartment or house, typically shared with friends or random roommates / housemates.

Those who don't go to college may or may not live with their parents, but in any case it seems that the majority of American kids want to move out of the house when they get out of high school, and most parents are perfectly willing to let them.  

I am going to one of our local universities, and live with my family - in other words, I'm a commuter student who drives the 20-25 minutes to school daily (and once in a rare while, bikes there).  This is not too uncommon, but I know kids whose families even nearer to the campus yet still elect to live in the dorms (which adds a minimum of $3,700 / school year).  Personally, I enjoy the space I have at home, being with my family, my mother's cooking, and the money I save; however, I miss out on the opportunity to meet people.  Many other kids enjoy the "no rules" (well, alcohol is prohibited for underage drinkers at the school, but it's easier to find parties on campus or around it then in one's house) college atmosphere, and some simply don't get along with their parents.  So it varies there.

I don't think living at home at my age (20) is looked down upon, even though I've had a few younger kids accuse me of "failure to launch", and other surprised that I elected the stay at home (even though this is not unusual), but if I stay here until past 24 or 25, yes, then I'll probably be thought of as a "mommy's boy" or something.  Most Americans are not like Italians or French and prefer to start a career / family / independent life once they reach their mid-20's or so (though the family part sometimes comes later).


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## panjabigator

Culture really dictates a lot; in an Indian (I'd image probably inclusive of all South Asia) family is really a unit and leaving the house is a big deal.  It is assumed that the only real reason to leave the house is school or marriage.  Otherwise, I think it would be viewed a loss of money and a waste of time.  

My sister still lives at home and is 25.  I personally wish she'd move out so she can live her own life but she is happy at home.  I think living at home is often times a restriction more than a blessing.


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## Musical Chairs

I think in the US, there is pressure for young people to get a place of their own as soon as they can once they finish their education. Most women find it a turn-off if guys still live with their parents when they're too old (though I'm not sure about vice versa). Also, a lot of college students I know pay for some or all of their tuition, housing, food, etc. also reflecting their independence.

In Japan, there isn't as much pressure to move out so quickly. I'm from the countryside, and some people I know marry and live with their parents so that there is more than one generation in a household (to take care of them, manage things around the house, etc). A lot of my family and relatives live very near each other (within the same village). I'd say in Japan, there is generally more involvement/connection between parents, children, and relatives than in the US because it's part of the culture. When people get married, in-laws usually get pretty involved in their lives and often help raise the children to some extent.


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## tvdxer

fenixpollo said:


> In the US the answer to your question is "living on your own".  The US has a very individualistic culture*, where the emphasis is on individuals, their independence from others, and their achievements. The family is valued, but not to the same degree as in (most) other cultures.
> 
> Children in the US are expected to leave home at or near age 18, which is the legal age of maturity. The general attitude is that children must be independent of their parents, with their own jobs, their own houses/apartments, their own responsibilities.
> 
> This attitude is reflected in the language, in expressions such as _cutting the cord_ (the umbilical cord) and _leaving the nest_.  Children are considered to be like birds, who must learn how to fly by themselves, and as soon as they can fly alone, they leave the nest and never return.  Parents whose children have all left home are sometimes depressed and lonely, and they are said to have _empty nest syndrome_.
> 
> Even so, the ideal is for parents to rejoice in their freedom to live their own lives, to keep their own schedules and to travel.  The children who leave home are respected for their strength and independence.  Those children who live at home into their mid- and late-20s are considered (emotionally) weak and (mentally) unhealthy.
> 
> *this just a generalization and is not intended to create a debate about the origins of American culture. In general, except when they're not, Americans tend to be more focused on the individual than on the group.



I wonder how this varies regionally.  I grew up thinking of 23 - 25 as getting a little bit old for living at home, 25 - 29 as getting very old, and 30 + as in the "outcast" category.


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## Noedatorre

Thinking of being the first Spaniard writing in this post…It’s very funny. As I was reading all your post it was very curious to see that I am almost an “outcast”, that I’m getting very old to live with my parents and, due to the fact that I’m 28 I could be considered as emotionally weak and mentally unhealthy, hahaha!!! WOW

I’m 28, I’m still living with my parents and I don’t have any necessity of living on my own to be a mature person. It’s being a long time ago since I first went to the dentist on my own, and I am not that absurd to have the need to move to find out who I am. 

Would I like to live on my own? Yes, why not. Can I do it? Yes….and no. I could do it, to rent a flat to live alone, spend almost all my salary on the expenses and eat pasta or rice everyday (very cheap…you know). But, apart from the money, would I like to live alone instead of living with two people that I love and have a very good relationship? Ummm, no thank you.(of course , it always depends on the relationship you have with your family).
Is it more mature to live with your friends than do it with your parents? Honestly, I don’t see how…

I went to live and work to England some years ago and it was very curious to see how the Italians and the Spanish were (almost) the only ones that missed our families. I lived on the staff block of the hotel I was working at, and I had to share my room with two more girls. I met a lot of people from different cultures and, believe me, most of the youngest people were no mature at all. They were miles away from their families, working for a living, independent …and doing stupid things like getting drunk until 3 or 4am when they had to work the following day.

I think it only depends on the education you receive. I’m independent and I have my work. I’m not treated like a princess at home, I have to clean, cook… We are simple 3 adults living together. I don’t believe it’s bad (it’s only bad because I would like to have my place someday and I don’t know if I’m going to be able) or good. My parents are delighted and they don’t want me to go anywhere. I mean, they don’t mind me being at home with them. In Spain this situation is very very common, but it usually happens because we cannot afford to go nowhere. 

But, of course, it’s always a question of cultures…


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## mirx

Noedatorre said:


> Thinking of being the first Spaniard writing in this post…It’s very funny. As I was reading all your post it was very curious to see that I am almost an “outcast”, that I’m getting very old to live with my parents and, due to the fact that I’m 28 I could be considered as emotionally weak and mentally unhealthy, hahaha!!! WOW
> 
> I’m 28, I’m still living with my parents and I don’t have any necessity of living on my own to be a mature person. It’s being a long time ago since I first went to the dentist on my own, and I am not that absurd to have the need to move to find out who I am.
> 
> Would I like to live on my own? Yes, why not. Can I do it? Yes….and no. I could do it, to rent a flat to live alone, spend almost all my salary on the expenses and eat pasta or rice everyday (very cheap…you know). But, apart from the money, would I like to live alone instead of living with two people that I love and have a very good relationship? Ummm, no thank you.(of course , it always depends on the relationship you have with your family).
> Is it more mature to live with your friends than do it with your parents? Honestly, I don’t see how…
> 
> I went to live and work to England some years ago and it was very curious to see how the Italians and the Spanish were (almost) the only ones that missed our families. I lived on the staff block of the hotel I was working at, and I had to share my room with two more girls. I met a lot of people from different cultures and, believe me, most of the youngest people were no mature at all. They were miles away from their families, working for a living, independent …and doing stupid things like getting drunk until 3 or 4am when they had to work the following day.
> 
> I think it only depends on the education you receive. I’m independent and I have my work. I’m not treated like a princess at home, I have to clean, cook… We are simple 3 adults living together. I don’t believe it’s bad (it’s only bad because I would like to have my place someday and I don’t know if I’m going to be able) or good. My parents are delighted and they don’t want me to go anywhere. I mean, they don’t mind me being at home with them. In Spain this situation is very very common, but it usually happens because we cannot afford to go nowhere.
> 
> But, of course, it’s always a question of cultures…


 

Although I am one of those young guys who don't miss their families, and who's independant and gets drunk until 3 in the morning, I still agree with you completely.

when you know where you're going _you know where you're going_, and there's no need to travel around the world to see what you like best.

PD. My parents are still in a heart attack.


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## JazzByChas

Well, I live in the USA, and as Fenixpollo said, we are an individualistic culture.  Most children are expected to leave the "nest" at about 18, and either go to college, or get a job.

My parents expected that of me...I only lived at home for about 2 or 3 months once when I was 23, because we had just moved to Washington, DC, and I didn't have the means to live on my own.  But my mother made sure I moved out as soon as I could.

I find that I feel the same about my children: once they are 18, if they still want to live at home, they must contribute to the expenses of the house, as though they were living in a apartment.


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## Mei

Hi all there:

 I lived with my parents since I was 27 because it was/is almost imposible to live alone in Barcelona. It's so expensive. I'm living with 2 friends because I can't find a decent apartment (ie: they are so funny and I love them!). I could live nearby Barcelona but I don't want to. I did it and I prefer to live in my city where I grew up, I love it. 

It is imposible to become emancipated at 19 years old here. Working, studying and living alone... it is an odyssey.

Cheers

Mei

(Noedelatorre:  I love to eat pasta or rice, you can do a lot of combinations with different ingredients  )


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## Antpax

Noedatorre said:


> Thinking of being the first Spaniard writing in this post…It’s very funny. As I was reading all your post it was very curious to see that I am almost an “outcast”, that I’m getting very old to live with my parents and, due to the fact that I’m 28 I could be considered as emotionally weak and mentally unhealthy, hahaha!!! WOW
> 
> I’m 28, I’m still living with my parents and I don’t have any necessity of living on my own to be a mature person. It’s being a long time ago since I first went to the dentist on my own, and I am not that absurd to have the need to move to find out who I am.
> 
> Would I like to live on my own? Yes, why not. Can I do it? Yes….and no. I could do it, to rent a flat to live alone, spend almost all my salary on the expenses and eat pasta or rice everyday (very cheap…you know). But, apart from the money, would I like to live alone instead of living with two people that I love and have a very good relationship? Ummm, no thank you.(of course , it always depends on the relationship you have with your family).
> Is it more mature to live with your friends than do it with your parents? Honestly, I don’t see how…
> 
> I went to live and work to England some years ago and it was very curious to see how the Italians and the Spanish were (almost) the only ones that missed our families. I lived on the staff block of the hotel I was working at, and I had to share my room with two more girls. I met a lot of people from different cultures and, believe me, most of the youngest people were no mature at all. They were miles away from their families, working for a living, independent …and doing stupid things like getting drunk until 3 or 4am when they had to work the following day.
> 
> I think it only depends on the education you receive. I’m independent and I have my work. I’m not treated like a princess at home, I have to clean, cook… We are simple 3 adults living together. I don’t believe it’s bad (it’s only bad because I would like to have my place someday and I don’t know if I’m going to be able) or good. My parents are delighted and they don’t want me to go anywhere. I mean, they don’t mind me being at home with them. In Spain this situation is very very common, but it usually happens because we cannot afford to go nowhere.
> 
> But, of course, it’s always a question of cultures…


 
I do completely agree with you, and I am even older, and I do not see any problem in being 30 years old and live with your parents if a good relationship exists. I mean, in my case, although having a flat of my own I prefer to live with my parents because it let me do some kind of things I couldn´t living on my own, because paying the mortgage and also the food, light, water and so on would be too much, and my parents don´t want me to leave (or at least they say so  ). Then, I can go out whenever I want, having dinner in good restaurants sometimes, traveling, etc.

And of course it is very comfortable if mom cooks, do the washing up, ironing... (you can insult me, I deserve it, but it is true ).

Cheers.

Ant


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## ColdomadeusX

I think it's not just about culture but also circumstances and the individual themselves. I have not moved out yet but do know plenty of people who have and really, it was all a matter of the circumstances surrounding them and how they and their family felt about them moving out.
Some really didn't give a stuff about what their parents thought and so consequently decided to move out as a form of rebellion. Some moved out because their parents wanted them to (as mentioned in some other opinions in the thread) and some just felt that it was the right time.
Really, it's a mixture of all these factors and more that make up our minds about the matter.

ColdoX


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## koabr3gn

sdr083 said:


> I went on a 6-month excange when I was 18 (after high school) and then moved back in with my parents for 6 months before going to the university. I found it really hard. I have always had an excelent relationship with my parents, even as a teenager, they are very easy to live with and the house is big so this was not the problem. My parents always told us that they would support us, pay for food, school-stuff, clothes etc. until we were 18, but after that, if we wanted to continue living at home, we would be expected to contribute in some way.


 
This sounds exactly like my family. 
Until very recently, I had been living at university but had to go back home for two summers. 
Going back home is probably one of the hardest things to do. I was so used to just doing what I wanted that my parents and I clashed on a lot of things (and we hardly ever fought when I was a teenager). Thankfully I have an apartment now, but if I was ever to return home again my parents would charge me money for rent. 

I really believe a person has to leave home to become a whole being. That way, they can figure out who they are and what they want out of life without too many influences. I didn't become the person I am today until I removed myself from being "part of a family" and became an individual.


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## min300

Hi everybody.
In Iran we usually stay with our parents until we get married and of course when someone goes to a university in another city  . 
I think it has two reason.
1. The cost of living in Iran, which is really high. So young people try to stay with parents in order to be able to save some money. And this is also one of the reason why some young people don't want to get married anymore.

2. Our culture. We try to keep a close relationship with the family member. That means even with aunts,uncles and grandparents. Even when an Iranian married person says family, she usually means the whole big family. I think this is another reason for that.


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## mirx

min300 said:


> Hi everybody.
> In Iran we usually stay with our parents until we get married and of course when someone goes to a university in another city .
> I think it has two reason.
> 1. The cost of living in Iran, which is really high. So young people try to stay with parents in order to be able to save some money. And this is also one of the reason why some young people don't want to get married anymore.
> 
> 2. Our culture. We try to keep a close relationship with the family member. That means even with aunts,uncles and grandparents. Even when an Iranian married person says family, she usually means the whole big family. I think this is another reason for that.


 
Looks a lot like México.


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## tvdxer

I'm 20 and live at home ("at home" means with parent/s), as I attend university locally.  I personally wouldn't have it any other way - I am close to my family, I don't have bills (other than a car payment), I get to eat good home-cooked food, I get to do my hobbies, I save money, etc.  

However, as fenixpollo said, many young adults are eager to leave home soon after high school graduation at age 18, and their parents totally supportive of that.  However, I should note that a very large percentage of American high school graduates go on to at least begin university, and those that do often, if not usually live in the on-campus dorms during the academic year and return home in May at the beginning of summer vacation.


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## zxc

I can't speak for the whole country, and I think that socio-economic background more than anything else is probably the key factor when it comes to this topic, but I would say that, generally speaking, living at home past your mid-twenties in the UK is seen as *not the norm.* I don't think (as was mentioned about the USA) people would consider you "emotionally weak and mentally unhealthy" for still living with your parents aged 26, but they might think something like "Come on, stop being a scrounger/mummy's boy/plain boring and get your own life!"
If you still live at home after 30 though, then yeah, you'll probably end up getting tarred with the weirdo/socially inadequate/total scrounger brush (unless you have some kind of illness or something).


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## cute angel

Good morning,

I don't know a lot of things about you but I'm going to speak about our life in the Arabic countries in general

In our countries it's forbidden for any one to leave alone especially girls.

But boys too we leave together till the time where everyone get married in that time the girl will go with her husband and the boy either he will be choose a house for his own or to stay in his parents house .

So;I prefer living with my parents ,they give us what ever we want for girls as for boys **daugther/son** They pay for our studies for our clothes ,food all the things that you can imagine

I'm till now living with my parents and Ihope I will stay an other long time with them.


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## argentina84

It is common for young people in Argentina to remain at home as long as possible...I live with my parents because I am young - I am 22- and because I cannot afford living on my own. It is not a problem since I get on well with them and  they not want me to leave. They say that I shouldn't leave my house unless I move to a far place or get married. That is the common situation in this country.
..there are exceptions also.....


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## Etcetera

tvdxer said:


> However, I should note that a very large percentage of American high school graduates go on to at least begin university, and those that do often, if not usually live in the on-campus dorms during the academic year and return home in May at the beginning of summer vacation.


Yes, many Russian students do the same. 
Some of them, however, prefer to stay in campus even during summer holidays in order to earn money.


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## r_daneel

I think a lot of it has to do with the question of wanting to live on your own and being able to live on your own.  I'm planning to move out very soon because I need my own space, but living with my parents has allowed me to save money, build good credit, and attend college without the usual difficulties associated with living on your own and attending school.

The cost of living is extremely high where I live (New Jersey, USA), and a lot of people that I know still live with their parents because it's almost impossible to afford something decent in a decent location.

I'm in the process of purchasing a townhouse with a friend of mine, but it's very disappointing to HAVE to have a roommate.  It's disappointing when even earning a good wage is barely enough to cover basic living expenses.


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## gorbatzjov

Hey, In Belgium students at University live in studio appartments or with several in one house in the city. Almost everyone goes home every Friday to return to the city where they study on Sunday evening. Spending the weekend at home is seen as very normal and allows you to get a decent meal and your clothes to be washed


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## Lingvisten

Denmark is alot like Norway on this matter. people are usualy suspected to move away after high school. Due to the difficulty of finding an affordable appartment, most young people live in domitories. The danish state gives every student older than 18 years 4600 kr. (620 €) a month. This make living on your own quite easy (if you can find a place to stay). I moved away to live with my girlfriend (now my wife), when i had just turned 17. I think that 19 is the most common age to move away.


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## Mahaodeh

In my culture, unless you live in another city where you can not possibly commute to parent's home, you do not move out.  Moreover, the last male child to get married does not move out, rather his wife moves in with his parents.  Also, the children try hard to find a job in the city where their parents live.  I don't beleive it has anything to do with independence, moving out of your parent's house while still living in the same city without getting married will be read by other people as "he/she is a bad child, he left his/her parents as soon as he can afford it after all the time and effort they spent on raising him/her".

I would think that it is just culture.


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## Eugin

I agree with Coldomadeus in the fact that it could also be a matter of circumstances and the individual situation of each person. 
For example, in Argentina the salaries are paid in Argentine pesos, BUT if you want to buy an apartment (not even a house, just a single bedroom apartment) you have to pay it in dollars… therefore, it becomes really hard for a young adult to save enough money in order to buy their own roof. 
There are times when you are lucky and parents can lend you the money and so, you can buy the apartment without having to ask a credit in the bank, which in that case, you have to pay the interest rate for 3 years and only then you start paying for the real price of the house… it´s really hard .
I am 31 and still living with my mum and sister, but only because of a monetary issue. I also contribute in the house and help with the chores and cook, as Noedatorre expressed, but of course I’d like to have my own space to do whatever I please, but the country doesn’t help at all, as in the case of Lingvisten in Denmark. If Argentina helped young adults with some sort of benefit in order to help pay the bank credit or the rent, I´d have moved long ago. But if you rent, the same situation as Noedatorre happens in Argentina: you almost have to use your whole salary to pay for the rent and extra expenses. Only if you move out with your partner/ wife/ friend could it be possible to afford the cost of a rent.

On the other hand, it is also true that as we have so many Spanish/ Italian descendant people, it’s not weird (at all) for young people to live with their parents until they get married or at least, until they receive a descent salary that enables them to afford a rent or a bank credit. 

And I also agree with r_daneel when he states that “_It's disappointing when even earning a good wage is barely enough to cover basic living expenses_.” This is also the general feeling among young (and not so young also) people in Argentina. In fact, when Argentina had its devaluation in 2001, many people weren’t even able to afford their already existing rents, and they were forced to move back to their parent’s house in order to continue living… regardless they didn´t like that idea… Once again, people had to adjust to the circumstances of the country… not the country adjusting itself in favour of the people….. Am I being too altruistic with this thinking?


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## beakman

Antpax said:


> although having a flat of my own I prefer to live with my parents because it let me do some kind of things I couldn´t living on my own, because paying the mortgage and also the food, light, water and so on would be too much, and my parents don´t want me to leave (or at least they say so  ). Then, I can go out whenever I want, having dinner in good restaurants sometimes, traveling, etc.
> 
> And of course it is very comfortable if mom cooks, do the washing up, ironing... (you can insult me, I deserve it, but it is true ).
> Ant


 
Many people are as "practical" as you, antpax. May be your practical sence can be justified - it provides you so many "benefits" (like ironing, washing up, saving money for your traveling, going out to the restaurants and so on...) But don't you think that you're living at your mom's expences? May be she doesn't mind it at all, cause she herself doesn't need any special entertainment (you think so!).

It's rather common here in Spain - to live at somebody esle's expences, only to recieve and not to give, to take everything for granted without any effort (well, many will object that it takes them "an enormous effort" to be able to live on their own, because they need sooooo many things to before they get married (main reason here for emancipation!). But in my opinion all of them miss only one thing - which is simply maturity.

I am for pigeons leaving their nests inspite of difficulties and fears of managing everything by themselves and responsabilities involved. And before they leave their homes -better for them, they will have more chance to evoid getting accustomed to their "golden cells" and being treated as minors or even pets instead of grownups. If they follow natural way of things (pigeons leaving the nest) they will appreciate other things rather than furniture and ceilings and will apply for the world other measures which are less practical and more human.

Sorry, if my opinion hurts somebody. 
Best regards,
Beakman


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## Noedatorre

I agree with you Beakman, I believe that Antpax ‘misunderstood’ my reasons and explanations why I continue to live with my parents. BUT I tried to explain that you can live with your parents and be a mature person (I know, I know! Hard to understand for US people). 
Here in Spain, most of the times, people would love to ‘leave the nest’ but they can’t! As simple as that! It’s not a question of maturity but money…and work. It’s almost imposible to have a steady job, and if you don’t have it , a bank won’t grant you a loan. If you don’t get a loan and you’re not rich…well, forget about buying a flat.
What I don’t want to do is to rent a flat but still continue going to my parents’ home to have lunch (and have dinner, and do the laundry…), or to ‘leave the nest’ and come back few months later because I’ve lost my job. 
The idea of the Spanish government helping the youth with 620€ (like in Denmark) is, unfortunately, hilarious. Actually, that’s the salary of a lot of people here!! And, as Eugin said 
_



‘Only if you move out with your partner/ wife/ friend could it be possible to afford the cost of a rent’

Click to expand...

_It’s a catch 22!

PS. Yep! Antpax , I could insult you, you deserve it!


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## Antpax

Noedatorre said:


> PS. Yep! Antpax , I could insult you, you deserve it!


 

Sure you can. 

Well you are right in all you said. I only tried to be honest. 

Cheers.

Ant


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## beakman

I agree with you Beakman, I believe that Antpax ‘misunderstood’ my reasons and explanations why I continue to live with my parents. BUT I tried to explain that you can live with your parents and be a mature person (I know, I know! Hard to understand for US people).

Neither I think that it's impossible to live with your parents and be a mature person. I think it depends on the grade of responsability you have at home and also other circumstances. These don't include having everything for granted -"having feasts" at your mother's expence and at the same time saving money for your future.

There are also cases when sons or daughters from their early childhood assume too much responsabilities where the parents are not able to assume them or don't want to. These young people become adults early.


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## beakman

Noedatorre said:


> Here in Spain, most of the times, people would love to ‘leave the nest’ but they can’t! As simple as that! It’s not a question of maturity but money…and work. It’s almost imposible to have a steady job, and if you don’t have it , a bank won’t grant you a loan. If you don’t get a loan and you’re not rich…well, forget about buying a flat.


Noedatorre, I understand your feelings and also agree with you that it is not easy nowadays to get things... but we all live the way you described - we get things little by little, whithout steady jobs, short of money, loosing jobs and paying bills. We have to face many drastic situatins and resolve everything ourselves, look for jobs and for money, working long hours to get money to pay ...we have our ups and downs. Few people have everything resolved,or few people can say so. But if I'mistaken, if the majority does have everything stable and tighten up - this is not my case...I think all the same, we have to live and go forward with or without material help of our parents. The important thing is to do what you want, not what others want you to do, be responsable for your doings and try to find your way...And without fears! 
And I don't criticize those who return to their parents' home...*sometimes* all of us need to "return" and it's a great thing if one has place to return where he/ she is always welcome!

Best regards,
Beakman


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## Noedatorre

Beakman, as you said, it’s all about circumstances. When they were teenagers, a couple of friends of mine (different families) had to assume a lot of responsabilities because their parents were ill. They had to mature much early than the rest of us. But now that things are better, they don’t want to talk about leaving the nest. After breaking up long relationships with their respectives partners they’re very insecure now. They panic if they have to think about living on their own! It’s very curious that two completely different people, with different lives, end up having the same problem…but that’s life! the circumstances!
On the other hand, I agree with you that everyone has to ‘fight’ to get things (and you always learn and appreciate things more in this way). The majority of the society ‘suffers’ the same problems. I was only trying to explain the general situation of young people in Spain, and the view that we have about this.




> The important thing is to do what you want, not what others want you to do, be responsable for your doings and try to find your way...And without fears!
> And I don't criticize those who return to their parents' home...*sometimes* all of us need to "return" and it's a great thing if one has place to return where he/ she is always welcome!


 
Absolutely right! I was just saying that I wouldn’t like to do that, because I don’t want to be a burden for my parents (of course, nobody wants that). But I know that sometimes life is too hard and you don’t have any other options.

Regards!


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