# 指腹为婚



## yuechu

大家好！

I recently heard the expression 指腹为婚 on TV. The person says "不会是指腹为婚吧" (whey they learn that the husband's love interest from his hometown comes to move in with them). Does anyone know what this means?
(EDIT: I have removed my incorrect guess about the meaning of this expression!)
Thanks!


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## Flaminius

指腹为婚 is literally [for the male heads of houses] to point a finger at the belly [of expecting mothers] and make an engagement.  The person who said the line seems to suspect that the husband were engaged with the love interest back in their hometown.


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## AquisM

指 direct, designate; 腹 abdomen; 为 as, to be; 婚 marriage

指腹为婚 refers to the practice of betrothing children to each other while they're still in the womb. Supposedly quite a common practice in ancient times, when it was (much) more important for the bride and groom to have similar social status and wealth.

EDIT: Cross-posted


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## yuechu

Thank you both for your explanations, Flaminius and AquisM! I understand it much better now.


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## T.D

AquisM said:


> 指 direct, designate; 为 as, to be;


For some reason I thought 指 here is <poingting at> and 为 here is <make>.  Pointing at (one's) belly and making an arrangement for marriage.


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## AquisM

T.D said:


> For some reason I thought 指 here is <poingting at> and 为 here is <make>.  Pointing at (one's) belly and making an arrangement for marriage.


指: That was my first thought too, but a quick Google search seemed to suggest that a significant number of people view this 指 to be 指定, so I don't know which one's "correct".
为: Ah, possibly. My initial thought was that it's the same structure as 指鹿为马, in which I would interpret 为 as "to be".

In any case, the meaning of the individual characters doesn't affect the overall meaning of the phrase.


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## T.D

AquisM said:


> In any case, the meaning of the individual characters doesn't affect the overall meaning of the phrase.


Exactly


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## Flaminius

Even if the overall meaning of the phrase is indisputable, I surmise 为 is a verb in both 指腹为婚 and 指鹿为马.  Phonology and grammar allow it to be.  And, making a parallelism Verb-Noun; Verb-Noun is an attractive idea.


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## T.D

我的想法是这样的。
按照AquisM的说法，指鹿为马中的为是"当做"，"作为"的"为"。 我个人觉得其中含有“错认为”或“故意错认为”的意思。"指A为B"中的A和B按照常理不应该是一样的，却被指为了一样的。（但是A和B至少在某种程度上应该是相近或相似的，这样才有“被错认”的可能性）

但是这个逻辑似乎套不到“指腹为婚”这个成语里。再怎么样也不可能把肚子当成婚姻吧？

我理解的这个"为"类似于"助纣为虐"中的为，即 do。 

指腹为婚这个词的准确出处我没有查到，不过魏书王宝兴传中有一个片段。 王宝兴的母亲是崔浩的侄女，卢遐的妻子是崔浩的女儿。二人都怀孕了，崔浩对他们说：汝等将来所生，皆我之自出，可*指腹为亲*。最终王宝兴娶了卢瑕的女儿为妻。


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## gonecar

yuechu said:


> Does this have something to do with asking someone to get married with them even though they already have a partner?



Excuse me, yuechu. I am not so clear about this question.


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## yuechu

Thank you all for your help!



gonecar said:


> Excuse me, yuechu. I am not so clear about this question.


It was a complete guess about the meaning from the context. (and an incorrect guess, at that!) I have removed it from the original message.


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## Lamb67

It is an anachronism that is used for a reproach 😘
As if a dead practice comes back alive.


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## Kimmi G

*指腹为婚*

词典解释：旧时包办婚姻的一种。双方尚在胎中，有父母预定，如为一男一女，即成立婚约。

指着肚子，定下婚约

Marriages are contracted by two families with a solid friendship when future brides and grooms are only fetuses. Parents of the two families have no idea of the gender of their offspring at this time. So their agreement is more like a conditional contract upon the two new-born infants being one boy and one girl when they are birthed. This custom of arranged marriage is now out of favour as young people yearn for freedom of choice in both courtship and marriage.


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