# Love-hate relationship



## Brian P

Существует в русском языке выражение похоже на общий английский термин ‘love-hate relationship?’ Пример: ‘many Americans have a love-hate relationship with illegal immigrants because, although they commit a dispropotionate number of crimes and overburden social services, our economy could not survive without them’. Может быть‘отношение любви-ненависти’?


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## Setwale_Charm

Brian P said:


> Существует в русском языке выражение похоже на общий английский термин ‘love-hate relationship?’ Пример: ‘many Americans have a love-hate relationship with illegal immigrants because, although they commit a dispropotionate number of crimes and overburden social services, our economy could not survive without them’. Может быть‘отношениелюбви-ненависти’?


 
 No. You can say "испытывать/питать смешанные/двойственные чувства к..."

  The only combination of love and hate in one sentence in Russian can be found in the common saying От любви до ненависти один шаг but this smth quite different.


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## Brian P

Setwale_Charm said:


> No. You can say "испытывать/питать смешанные/двойственные чувства к..."
> 
> The only combination of love and hate in one sentence in Russian can be found in the common saying От любви до ненависти один шаг but this smth quite different.


 
Thanks, Setwale, but испытывать/испытать смешанные/двойственные чувства к.. would translate as "to feel ambivalent about" which is not as strong an expression as "to have a love-hate relationship with" but maybe this is the closest Russian equivalent. We'll see what the natives have to say.

Всегда ценю твою помощь

p.s. Are you using питать in the correct context?  It means to feed.  As you can see, in my quote I have corrected it to испытать.


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## Setwale_Charm

Brian P said:


> Thanks, Setwale, but испытывать/испытать смешанные/двойственные чувства к.. would translate as &quot;to feel ambivalent about&quot; which is not as strong an expression as &quot;to have a love-hate relationship with&quot; but maybe this is the closest Russian equivalent. We'll see what the natives have to say.
> 
> Всегда ценю твою помощь
> 
> p.s. Are you using питать in the correct context?  It means to feed.  As you can see, in my quote I have corrected it to испытать.


 
  Yes, but this is the closest I can think of. There is nothing directly with love-and-hate.  Yes, питать is quite legitimate here. It is often used with чувства.


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## scriptum

Setwale_Charm said:


> Yes, but this is the closest I can think of. There is nothing directly with love-and-hate.


 
"Они и любят, как ненавидят". That's not a common phrase, but I have heard it on several occasions. The quote seems to be from "Crime and Punishment".


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## Brian P

scriptum said:


> "Они и любят, как ненавидят". That's not a common phrase, but I have heard it on several occasions. The quote seems to be from "Crime and Punishment".


 
Many thanks, Scriptum. "Они и любят, как ненавидят" seems to be a perfect translation of, "They have a love-hate relationship".

And once again _Diolch yn fawr iawn_ to you, Setwale.


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## Maroseika

Brian P said:


> seems to be a perfect translation of, "They have a love-hate relationship".


Sorry, but I don't think it has anything to do with the title phrase.
I don't remember this sentence in Dostoyevskiy ("Они и любят, как ненавидят"), but if it were there it would mean that the one loves somebody like... like... well, something like "Я тебя люблю и с кашей съем", or "Я тебя породил, я тебя и убью", etc.
This is not any kind of ambivalent feelings of one who cannot balance the accounts of benefits and drawback of a person or a phenomenon; in contrary - the feeling is quite unambiguous. 
The only trouble - it's hard to specify what exactly is this feeling about; something like the feeling of Rogozhin in regard of Nastasya Filippovna, for example.


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## Crescent

Brian P said:


> Many thanks, Scriptum. "Они и любят, как ненавидят" seems to be a perfect translation of, "They have a love-hate relationship".
> 
> And once again _Diolch yn fawr iawn_ to you, Setwale.



Hello all. 

I wonder how is it that Brian always manages to ask us really hard questions, and how we never find the ''straight'' 100% correct answer to them, and instead only manage to come up with some vague suggestions...

The only problem I see with that Scriptum gave you - ''Они и любят, как ненавидят'' is that (and I may be wrong on this) the word ''любить'' when used with a person (e.g. Я тебя люблю.) usually signifies being in love with them, and not simply liking or appreciating them.
And the problem is that in the context that Brian gave us, using ''любить'' and ''ненавидеть'' might be a little too ''strong'' for feelings which are expressed towards something as general and impersonal as immigration.

What I'm trying to say is that these verbs in this context might sound slightly out of place.
e.g. Большенство Американцев как и *любят* иммигрантов, за то, что наша экономия не смогла бы выжить без их помощи, так и *ненавидят* их, так как они совершают большенсто приступленний и перегружают... (I'm sorry, but I don't know how to translate ''social services''.. I any case, I hope I've proved my point!  ) 

Perhaps the natives agree as well that these sound a little too strong for the given phrase, or...am I just nit-picking?


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## cyanista

Crescent said:


> And the problem is that in the context that Brian gave us, using ''любить'' and ''ненавидеть'' might be a little too ''strong'' for feelings which are expressed towards something as general and impersonal as immigration.
> 
> What I'm trying to say is that these verbs in this context might sound slightly out of place.
> e.g. Большинство Американцев как и *любят* иммигрантов, за то, что наша экономика не смогла бы выжить без их помощи, так и *ненавидят* их, так как они совершают большинство преступлений и перегружают систему социального обеспечения(?)... (I'm sorry, but I don't know how to translate ''social services''.. I any case, I hope I've proved my point!  )
> 
> Perhaps the natives agree as well that these sound a little too strong for the given phrase, or...am I just nit-picking?



I agree completely, Crescent. The best translation I have seen so far was the one in post 2.  It's not 100% exact, but, it seems, the only idiomatic phrase Russian has got to offer in this context.


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## Brian P

Many thanks to all of you.  "Love-hate relationship" is hyperbole that we often use where "like-dislike" would be more appropriate.


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## scriptum

Hey, are we not over-complicating things? After all, why not simply say "американцы любят и не любят иммигрантов"?


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## Kolan

Well, *love* should not be interpreted directly as *любовь* in the proposed combination with hate, which would be appropriate in the proverb от любви до ненависти..., where one could see a sort of opposition. I would rather say something more relevant like *гостеприимность*, or *приветливость*. Also, *hate* does not necessarily reflect *ненависть*, as such it could be *неприязнь*. Altogether, *love-hate* in the proposed context may sound in Russian like *приветливо(гостеприимно)-неприязненный.*


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## Crescent

Kolan said:


> Well, *love* should not be interpreted directly as *любовь* in the proposed combination with hate, which would be appropriate in the proverb от любви до ненависти..., where one could see a sort of opposition. I would rather say something more relevant like *гостеприимность*, or *приветливость*. Also, *hate* does not necessarily reflects *ненависть*, as such it could be *неприязнь*. Altogether, *love-hate* in the proposed context may sound in Russian like *приветливо(гостеприимно)-неприязненный.*



I totally agree with Kolan's suggestion! In fact, I am even rather impressed with it, because I must admit that I was sitting here for quite a while, trying to find the appropriate words that could possibly replace ''love'' and ''hate'' in a context such as this, and Kolan seems to have come up with the perfect couple! 

From my point of view, Brian - this is exactly what you're looking for: Американцы могут быть как и *гостеприимны к*....так и относится к ним с* неприязнью*.. etc. 

P.S. Cyanista - thank you very much for the corrections you've done to my russian!  I will try better next time, I promise.


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## Kolan

Crescent said:


> From my point of view, Brian - this is exactly what you're looking for: Американцы могут быть как и *гостеприимны к*....так и относится к ним с* неприязнью*.. etc.


And that is typically american (from canadian point of view), although I would not generalize at all.


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## Kriviq

scriptum said:


> "Они и любят, как ненавидят". That's not a common phrase, but I have heard it on several occasions. The quote seems to be from "Crime and Punishment".



This quote reminds me of Botev`s verse:

   Но туй щат братя да видят
   и кога, майко, пораснат,
   като брата си ще станат -
*   силно да любят и мразят...*

Actually, it may be a translation of this verse. If this were the case, it wouldn`t apply to BrianP`s question as the recipient of these strong feelings is not the same person.


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## Etcetera

Crescent said:


> Американцы могут быть как и *гостеприимны к*....так и относит_*ь*_ся к ним с* неприязнью*.. etc.


A small correction, Crescent. 
In constructions like как... так и no comma is needed after как.


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