# Pet names/Terms of Endearment



## Cereth

Hello again!

I was just wondering if there are any particular words in japanese which can correspond to "sweetie" "honey" "babe/baby" (not akachan), "dearest", "my love" ...etc ..if so, are they commonly used? by whom, where and when?


And I thank particularly to Flaminius san, Aoyama san, Kamome san, Karuna san, Spiceman san and Santi san for always  helping me to understand this difficult but interesting language.


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## Hiro Sasaki

Many Japanese know that in the English speaking countries, honeys and 
darling are used directed to their wives and girlsfriends. 

If any Japanese use those words, people will laugh.


Hiro Sasaki


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## Anatoli

That is quite an interesting topic if there is enough attention. I know only from learner's perspective that Japanese don't use darling, sweetheart, honey, etc and words of love are not usually pronounced.

Dictionaries have transliterations of English words of endearment to address loving partners (non-existent in Japanese)
ダーリン darling
スイートハート sweetheart
ハニー  honey

I read discussions about this. I asked a young Japanese lady about this in a Japanese language meet-up. Here's what she said (I summarised in 2 sentences): We, Japanese women, change quicker than Japanese men. We are ready to hear these words but men are not ready to utter them.

In Japanese culture there is a nice word あなた (anata), which is used by women to address their boyfriends/husbands, which can be translated as "darling". 
So, Japanese men can be addressed nicely, why can't Japanese women have the same?

My Japanese is not so good but I found a few Japanese movie titles with these words. Among them まかせてダーリン [makasete da-rin] "Leave it to me, darling". I haven't watched it but is there a trend to use these words, or is it in movies only?


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## Cereth

Thank you Hiro and Anatoli...
I love Japanese language and I really try to understand Nihonjin when it comes to topics like this but I just can´t!!
Because I know several Japanese men and they use this words in English!! why can´t they do that in their own language...it is so confusing to me...
I was reading an article about psychology in Japan, in this article was mentioned that many Nihonjin speak in English during the sessions because they feel it is ok to express their feelings in this language but they feel odd saying the same things in Nihongo.....but that is another topic.


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## Bran Muffin

Anatoli said:
			
		

> That is quite an interesting topic if there is enough attention. I know only from learner's perspective that Japanese don't use darling, sweetheart, honey, etc and words of love are not usually pronounced.
> 
> Dictionaries have transliterations of English words of endearment to address loving partners (non-existent in Japanese)
> ダーリン darling
> スイートハート sweetheart
> ハニー honey
> 
> I read discussions about this. I asked a young Japanese lady about this in a Japanese language meet-up. Here's what she said (I summarised in 2 sentences): We, Japanese women, change quicker than Japanese men. We are ready to hear these words but men are not ready to utter them.
> 
> In Japanese culture there is a nice word あなた (anata), which is used by women to address their boyfriends/husbands, which can be translated as "darling".
> So, Japanese men can be addressed nicely, why can't Japanese women have the same?
> 
> My Japanese is not so good but I found a few Japanese movie titles with these words. Among them まかせてダーリン [makasete da-rin] "Leave it to me, darling". I haven't watched it but is there a trend to use these words, or is it in movies only?


Maybe men don't say that sort of thing because they are afraid of looking like a homosexual.


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## Anatoli

I wouldn't say it, Bran Muffin. I wouldn't make any other assumptions too, especially the ones that can hurt people, I'd prefer to hear opinions from Japanese themselves.


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## Hiro Sasaki

Among them まかせてダーリン 　；　In this case, as " ダーリン　”　is a word of 
foreign origin, and it has lost the the original affectionate meaning. It sounds sometime humorous. 私の夫　うちの主人　is too formal　and some women say うちの旦那（だんな）、　うちのダーリン。　

主人というのは　master と　いう意味もあります。　現在では　husband を　equal 
partner と考えていますから　少し　抵抗があるのかもしれません。

旦那も　master という意味ですが　この言葉は　歴史的背景もあり　master の意味が
薄れます。　第三者には　だんなといいますが　夫に対して　だんな　とは　いいません。
”うちのだんな”も　humorous な　響きがあります。　master だとは　思っていません。　

あなた　以外に　夫に対して　愛情を示す　適当な言葉が　現在ないのです。　現在模索中
（もさくちゅう）です。　男性も　”おい”、　”お前”　とは　いいにくく、　適当な　ことばが
ないのです。　結婚して　子供が　出来れば　”　おとうさん”、　”あかあさん”　といいますが。。　私の友人の奥さんは　外国人ですが　友人を　”　おとうさん”と呼んでいます。

Hiro Sasaki


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## MarcB

What about Kimi?


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## Hiro Sasaki

A wife will never say Kimi to his husband. A husband may say "Kimi" to his
wife. But, it is very rare, especially in the Kansai region where I live.

Hiro Sasaki


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## MarcB

Yes I have only heard it as a husband to wife.


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## toscairn

メグミ、あるいはメアリーという恋人、または妻がいたとしましょう。Suppose we have a couple, with a girl named Megumi or Mary.
男は、次のように言うこともあります、

めー*たん*！(たん is pretty much babyish!)
めぐ*たん*！
めありー*たん*！
めありー*ちゃん*！
めありー*さん*！
めぐみ*さん*！(a bit "distant")
めぐ*ちゃん*！(more affectionate than "san")

From here goes more creative,
めー*にゃん*（猫好きの人のみ使う！Used only by cat-lovers!）
めり*ちん*　(babyish!)
めり*にこわ*　(to a Russian girl!)
めぐっち
めぐ姫　(Princess Megu!)
めあり姫


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## Cereth

Oh Toscairn that was wonderful!!!!!
Speciallyfor: *にゃん *because I am a cat -lover!! but I suppose I can´t say to a guy :"Tai-nyan" or "Ak-nyan" right?..... 
I guess I have to say those words in English...
Thank you minna-san!


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## sneeka2

Cereth said:


> Speciallyfor: *にゃん *because I am a cat -lover!! but I suppose I can´t say to a guy :"Tai-nyan" or "Ak-nyan" right?.....



Oh, my Japanese girlfriend occasionally uses a lot of にゃんs on me. Guess it's not too weird. Then again, we don't have cats, and it's probably more of a cute joke. 

One thing I *want to* ask of my own: What's the deal with あなた（ダーリング） and あなた（〜さん、きみ、お前）? Why is one used as term of endearment and the other one to address somebody? (Sorry Hiro-san, too many Kanji for me to understand your explanation yet  )


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## Hiro Sasaki

sneeka2 said:


> One thing I wanna ask of my own: What's the deal with あなた（ダーリング） and あなた（〜さん、きみ、お前）? Why is one used as term of endearment and the other one to address somebody? (Sorry Hiro-san, too many Kanji for me to understand your explanation yet  )


 
I feel sorry but I hope that someone at a high level of Japanese proficiency will translate what I've written. This is a matter dificult to
explain and therefore I've explainted it in Japanesae. My bad translations
will lead to more complicated missunderstanding. 

Hiro Sasaki


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## toscairn

> Why is one used as term of endearment and the other one to address somebody?


I believe the reason why "anata" as term of endearment is always directed from a wife to her husband and not the other way round is a remnant from the feudalistic days in which men dominated over women. 

Cereth, you can make any sentence in 猫語　as long as you end the sentence with -nyan. "Tai-nyan" or "Ak-nyan" is OK, of course!


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## Cereth

Thank yo so much Toscairn! I said to my friend: You are my Tai-nyan and He laughed!! He said it sounds cute..so I feel happy ..thank you so much...because I really wanted to say something corny to him in his own language 

Best regards..
Cereth.


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## Hiro Sasaki

When I was a primary school boy, we used to call my classmates with 
the family name without adding "san" nor "kun". But, I used to call my 
close friend Tadao as "Taachan". He used to call me Hiroaki chan. 


Girl classmates called me Hiroaki san. There was another classmate
with the same family name Sasaki. I liked to be called Hiroaki san, not 
sasaki san. It implies affecction and also respect. 

Nowadays, many young girls call their male classmates Tanaka kun, Yoshida kun. But, when I was younger, the girls called their classmates
and colleagues with the family name + san. 

Kun originally meant "lord". But, about 150 years, young samurai bagan
calling his friends "xxx kun". and their superior "xxx san". Tha'ts what I 
can notice in the T.V.shows. 

One writer Yoshimoto Giichi said that he is called in more than ten different ways such as Fujimoto sensei, Fujimoto sama, Giichan. 
Giichi-han ( Kansai dilalect ), Fujimoto han (Kansai dialect ). It varies
according to the degrees of friendness and respect.

It's quite good for you to invent some affectionate nickname for your
clase friend.

Hiro Sasaki


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## toscairn

> Nowadays, many young girls call their male classmates Tanaka kun, Yoshida kun. But, when I was younger, the girls called their classmates
> and colleagues with the family name + san.


That's a surprise! If a female classmate had called my name with -san not with -kun, I would have worried and think she might be doing it on purpose to show distance from me. I was reminded by your message that one thing you feared in your school days is being addressed with -san by your classmates. "-san" is generally regarded as more polite than "-kun," but "-san" can be cruel to school boys.

Addressing a person with "-nyan" should only be directed to your beloved person, otherwise people will think you're addressing a cat!


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## MommaWolf

Hello again...It is my understanding that Japanese people rarely use pet names (at least that is what I've heard for husband-wife relationships).  However, my "friend" called me both "kitsune" and "ichigo" ('fox' and 'strawberry', relatively, or so I understand), and I would really like a nice term to use in response to him.  In advance, domo arigato gozaimasu.


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## cheshire

How about these: tanuki （狸）　or banana （バナナ） ?

Did you know that tanuki and kitsune are usually associated in Japanese minds?


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## MommaWolf

How is it exactly that you pronounce バナナ?  I'm afraid I don't know Kanji...


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## Hiro Sasaki

MommaWolf said:


> How is it exactly that you pronounce バナナ? I'm afraid I don't know Kanji...


 
バナナ　is a gairaigo 外来語。　We do not use a kanji for it. We pronouce 
"banana". Sorry, I 've nver given an answer to a question of biginners in
Japanese.  I don't have time to do it. At a higher level, you will be
able to have me to help you.


Hiro Sasaki


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## Hiro Sasaki

cheshire said:


> How about these: tanuki （狸）　or banana （バナナ） ?
> 
> Did you know that tanuki and kitsune are usually associated in Japanese minds?


 
We say 狐（きつね）と狸（たぬき）の化かし合い（ばかしあい　）, but a tanuki is 
a humorous animal in many Japanese fables for children. There are
many shinto temples お稲荷（いなり）さん　with stone images of a fox.
Some people misunderstand that the the foxs are incarnations of 
gods. 

I think that you can get information on the web.page of 伏見稲荷
大社（　ふしみいなりたいしゃ）

Hiro Sasaki


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## Hiro Sasaki

MommaWolf said:


> How is it exactly that you pronounce バナナ? I'm afraid I don't know Kanji...


 
Very sorry. I misunderstood and thought that your mail is a personal one
to me.

Hiro Sasaki


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