# Swedish: saying thank you after meal



## glaspalatset

I alla kulturer ingår det i det sociala umgänget att bjuda folk på mat. Överallt finns det också förmodligen regler som man måste iaktta som värd eller gäst för att det inte ska anses att man har gjort bort sig. Om man t.ex. blir bjuden på middag i Sverige, hör det till vad som kallas för "god ton" att ta värdfolket i hand efteråt och tacka för maten. Man bör också tala om att mate smakade bra. I andra länder anses detta vara onödigt eller t.o.m. oförskämt. Ett skäl för detta är att man på så sätt anses ifrågasätta kompetensen hos den person som har lagat maten.

OK... did I understand correctly, that this is a Swedish (Scandinavian?) thing that one should take host's hand and say thank you, and the meal tastes good? I am a little confused as to how I actually deal with it in this situation...


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## jonquiliser

Depends on the relation to the hosts, the degree of formality you usually treat each other with, what kind of get-together it was... You'd usually say something about the food being nice or at least that you appreciated it, shaking hands is for when you leave, if that's the way you usually greet each other.


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## Södertjej

People are expected to say something nice during the meal, even before you start eating, something like _this looks/smells delicious_ when the food is put on the table or when getting ready to help yourself at a smörgåsbord if the hosts are near. Normally you don't wait until the meal is over to say it was nice but you praise your hosts with comments like,_ this is absolutely delicious, could I have the recipe?_ This is a classic if you know the hosts have cooked the meal themselves, otherwise it would be silly.

You can also say something nice about the tableware and the decoration. Another example of typical conversation while everybody is getting seated. 

And then you thank again just before you leave.


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## Wilma_Sweden

glaspalatset said:


> OK... did I understand correctly, that this is a Swedish (Scandinavian?) thing that one should take host's hand and say thank you, and the meal tastes good? I am a little confused as to how I actually deal with it in this situation...


I don't know about the other Scandinavian countries, but it is certainly true in Sweden, exactly as Södertjej outlines. Another 'rule' I've come across is that if you like your food extra salty, never ever taste the food BEFORE you sprinkle salt on it! That would be criticizing the chef! Also, some people go to great lengths to impress their guests with their tableware, having antique glasses, their finest bone China plates or designer silverware, for example. May God have mercy on your soul if you don't notice and praise it! 

/Wilma


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## DieuEtMonDroit

I could add that almostly everyone says _tack för maten_ after they have finished eating. Even at home with your parents.


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## Andreas_Jensen

DieuEtMonDroit said:


> I could add that almostly everyone says _tack för maten_ after they have finished eating. Even at home with your parents.


 
That's also true for Denmark, at least. Forget to say "tak for mad" and you'll be shot at dawn  I would expect the same thing to apply in Norway and Sweden...? That's probably THE most important thing to learn if you wish to come off as a well-mannered and cultivated individual around here...

The thing about taking the host's hand and thanking him for the meal has to be a Swedish thing and not a Scandinavian one... here we don't do it at least... It would seem a bit "too much". And I guess that complementing the food and the table decorations is mandatory all over the world...


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## El Patillas

Andreas_Jensen said:


> The thing about taking the host's hand and thanking him for the meal has to be a Swedish thing and not a Scandinavian one...


 
hehe, it's NOT a swedish thing... well, atleast I've never done it, it sounds weird...
But of course we say _"tack för maten (det var jättegott)", _or something like that.
Actually, I would consider a person who doesn't say that, very rude and impolite, and I would'nt serve him/her dinner again.


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## María Madrid

El Patillas said:


> well, atleast I've never done it, it sounds weird...


Världen består inte enbart att ungdomar som hälsar på farmor och sånt. Man blir över 30 någon gång, och man kan tom bli bjuden till väldigt formella middagar... Sånt händer faktiskt


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## El Patillas

María Madrid said:


> Man blir över 30 någon gång, och man kan tom bli bjuden till väldigt formella middagar... Sånt händer faktiskt


 
haha, ja då är det tur att man har 5 år kvar...


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## Wilma_Sweden

El Patillas said:


> hehe, it's NOT a swedish thing... well, atleast I've never done it, it sounds weird...


... as María says, wait until you're 30+!  However, my book of Swedish etiquette (from 1999) only stipulates that you should greet someone with a handshake when you arrive at the dinner party, and certainly say thank you for the meal, but nothing about how these thanks should be expressed. You can say thank you right after dinner, or when you're leaving the party, or both.

/Wilma


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