# Your Funniest Language Blunders



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


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## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


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## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


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## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


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## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


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## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


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## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


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## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


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## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


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## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


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## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


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## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


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## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


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## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


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## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


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## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


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## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


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## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


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## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


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## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


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## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


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## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


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## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


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## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


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## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


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## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


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## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


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## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


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## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


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## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


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## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


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## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


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## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


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## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


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## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


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## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


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## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


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## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


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## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


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## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


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## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


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## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


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## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


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## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


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## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


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## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


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## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


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## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


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## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


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## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


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## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


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## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


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## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


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## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


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## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


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## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


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## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


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## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


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## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


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## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


----------



## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


----------



## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


----------



## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


----------



## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


----------



## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


----------



## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


----------



## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


----------



## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


----------



## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


----------



## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


----------



## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


----------



## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


----------



## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


----------



## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


----------



## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


----------



## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


----------



## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


----------



## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


----------



## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


----------



## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


----------



## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


----------



## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


----------



## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


----------



## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


----------



## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


----------



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


----------



## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


----------



## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


----------



## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


----------



## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


----------



## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


----------



## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


----------



## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


----------



## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


----------



## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


----------



## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


----------



## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


----------



## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


----------



## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


----------



## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


----------



## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


----------



## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


----------



## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


----------



## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


----------



## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


----------



## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


----------



## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


----------



## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


----------



## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


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## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


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## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


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## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


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## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


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## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


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## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


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## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


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## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


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## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


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## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


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## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


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## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


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## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


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## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


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## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


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## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


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## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


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## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


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## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


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## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


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## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


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## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


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## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


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## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


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## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


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