# Of what descent are you?



## veracity

Of what descent are you?


  This is an insulting question in Hungary. You cannot ask anybody this question without being seen as outwardly aggressive or at least becoming hairy-heeled at once.

  I have hardly ever dared to ask it to anybody in all my life. I was taught by the society that this is a taboo, a horrible thing to do. I would feel much easier to pose a question to anybody; are you gay? This is regarded as insulting too in my country, but not to that extent.

  What is the reason for this? The holocaust, certainly. In Hungary 600 000 Jewish people died during the Second World War just because they were of Jewish descent. I am not Jewish but it is absolutely understandable for me that anybody of Jewish descent do not want to declare it.

  I had a good rapport with my colleague some 20 years ago. Others told me he was Jewish. I was very curious about whether he really was? We had a lot of business travels together and we drank a lot of beer in pubs together. But I did not dare to ask him that are (were) you Jewish? I was afraid that he would stand up at once from our table and would go away without telling me a word.
  Similarly you never ask a man if he is gypsy. Not just because you can know that by the countenance. However I would ask anybody: Are you of Swabian (German) descent? It happened. Following that my colleague told me about his grandfather’s story of his deportation after the war. We had a lot of talks about that and many other things in connection to his descent. It is very interesting and very instructive to listen to historical stories from authentic personal sources.

  More than 60 years has elapsed from the Holocaust to date but in Hungary we have this kind of taboos. What is the case in your country?


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## courtney w

Certainly in Canada, I have been asked before: Where does your family come from? ("Family" as in "ancestors"). This is not an offensive question at all, in my opinion! I also ask people where their family has come to Canada from, and they aren't offended by that either; they respond easily and without surprise. Perhaps this is because Canada is a country that has many citizens that have immigrated, and so many people come from different countries. I'm not sure. But in my opinion, this is not an offensive question at all.


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## alexacohen

The question may be asked to any Spaniard and it is not considered offensive at all.
I have been asked that question many a time, and more often than not the "Are you Jew?" question. 
Absolutely OK to question, and absolutely OK to answer.


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## argentina84

This is a very ordinary question and it is not considered offensive at all! In fact, people in general like to talk about their ancestors, since we Argentinians descend mostly from Italians, Spanish and Portuguese immigrants (also from German, French, British and Polish ones). 

This is a very popular topic of conversation here.


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## timpeac

I wouldn't ask someone "of what descent are you?" - it sounds too clinical. If I had reason to believe they might know or if it was relevant I might ask "do you know where your family originally comes from?" or if I'm certain they are recent arrivals "where does your family come from originally?" - it sounds a bit politer. As I say, I can't imagine asking that question without some reason - their name is obviously not Anglo-Saxon or I'm introduced to a relative who has an obvious foreign accent. Mostly, though, I can't imagine wanting or needing to ask someone that. Perhaps this is different from the new world countries like the US and Canada where most people came from a foreign land at some point in the relatively recent past.


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## argentina84

timpeac said:


> Perhaps this is different from the new world countries like the US and Canada where most people came from a foreign land at some point in the relatively recent past.


 
Right!


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## alexacohen

timpeac said:


> I wouldn't ask someone "of what descent are you?" - it sounds too clinical.


Oh yes, it does, Timpeac. 
The most usual question here would be "Where do your parents/grandparents/family come from?"
In my case, the questioning usually begins with "Why are you wearing that star instead of a cross?"


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## Macunaíma

That's a perfectly natural question among Brazilians.

I guess that taboo should be very specific to Hungary and possibly other countries who lived through the horror of the Holocaust, and I guess that's understandable -the Nazism was the most morbid period of human history, in my opinion, and it left scars that are not completely healed. In time, when it's more distant in the past and, hopefully, when racism is restricted to an even smaller number of losers than today, that question will be dealt with more openly in Hungary too.


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## cuchuflete

Such questions are common in the U.S.  They reflect some sort of tribal curiosity, and with each generation the question becomes more provincial, and the answer more convoluted.  Intermixing of descendants of previous generations of immigrants continues, such that answers may include a half dozen to a dozen countries.  

While the question may be harmless, at times it is intended as a "polite" way to determine if one is of a "socially acceptable" tribal background.  Of course that varies according to the prejudices of the questioner.


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## Orreaga

I think in the US it very much depends on context, how long you've known somebody, and whether they speak with a foreign accent or not.  In the latter case, I consider it an impolite question until you've established a friendly relationship with the person.

In the 1978 movie "The Deer Hunter", the character Nick Chevotarevich (played by Christopher Walken) is asked if his name is Russian, and he replies, "No, it's American."     I tend to assume this is the answer I'll receive, and tend not to ask people their ancestry, although if someone offers that information it will usually prompt me to ask some friendly questions.


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## TraductoraPobleSec

cuchuflete said:


> Such questions are common in the U.S.


 
From my experience, I think that this is a much more common question in the US than over here in Europe, though with the recent big waves of immigration it might become more usual in the future.



Orreaga said:


> In the 1978 movie "The Deer Hunter", the character Nick Chevotarevich (played by Christopher Walken) is asked if his name is Russian, and he replies, "No, it's American."


 
This has reminded me of a book by Jack Kerouac called Big Sur, in which the author bumps into some sort of petty criminal whose family name is Yturbide and who has no idea where his own name comes from. Kerouac (or the narrator) tells him he's a Basque and he gets so very excited and relieved that he runs to find a phone booth in order to call mom and tell her that they're Basques.


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## Sidjanga

In Germany, in many places (especially big cities) nowadays it might be even a little difficult to meet locals who were born there and who (they or, in particular, their families) have lived there all their lives, especially among young people. There's been much immigration from practically all over the world, which in many places has led to the most fascinating multicultural "mixtures", as well as much migration within the region/country, not only, but especially, shortly after WW II or, in more recent times, since the reunification.

For those reasons, the question _"Where are you from? / Where is your family from_?" is the most normal thing in the world, and nobody would find it strange or even offending/insulting. This issue - the mutual interest in and exchange of everyones "roots" or geographical/cultural/... background - is certainly among the most important and most "popular" conversation topics, especially at getting to know someone. It's more, I dare say that, in many situations, it might even be taken as a marked lack of interest in the other person if you don't ask anything in this direction.

The Jewish people I have met talked very openly about their religion and culture (when the conversation, for what ever reason, led to this topic). Presently, Germany has the third most numerous Jewish population in Europe and, if I am not much mistaken, the fasted growing one in the world.
Finally, the situation seems to be really "normalising", and non-Jewish people are generally quite interested in getting to know more about Jewish religion and traditions. 

It's always important to ask and to answer - it's very important to talk, to exchange information and complete partial or apparent knowlegde.
The lack of talking, the lack of curiosity, taboos in this respect and the resulting lack of knowledge only lead to misunderstanding and prejudices.


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## alexacohen

Orreaga said:


> I think in the US it very much depends on context, how long you've known somebody, and whether they speak with a foreign accent or not. In the latter case, I consider it an impolite question until you've established a friendly relationship with the person.


I have never been to the US. But I've been asked that question by many people from the US.
Passengers on my flights, who did not know me and had no relationship with me whatsoever. And will never have.
I did not think they were impolite, just curious - and kind. They smiled, looked at me and said "Excuse me, I have just noticed your Star of David, are you Jewish?" 
And then they usually told me that they had, too, Jewish ancestors, and chatted quite happily, introducing themselves.


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## veracity

There might be some misunderstanding with this thread.

I would like to assure everyone that the questions like _"Where are you from? / Where is your family from_?" are completely normal and natural to ask in Hungary too. My focus is not on that kind of interest.
Is she/he Gypsy? or Are you Gypsy?
Is she/he Jew? or Are you Jew?

These are the taboos. I would rather like you to focus on these questions.
For what reason would you ask them? Why do you think it is your business? Are you racist? Do you plan to do something wrong? Do you want to whisper into somebody else's ears that "He is Jew!" Why on earth are you curious about it?
You might have seen a wonderful actress on a TV program. It seems to you that she is of Gypsy origin. Can you ask your colleague's opinion about that without being shit-kicker?
Some years ago there was a whispering campaign that our prime minister is Gypsy. You may understand why.
A politician stated about another politician that he was his party's 2nd ranking token Jew. A big turmoil happened.
A boy has stabbed another boy on a bus. The boy hurt was Gypsy. The papers were full with "Hungarian fascist stabbed a Gypsy boy." Later it turned out the other boy was Gypsy too.

Now I was more specific. Thank you very much for your contributions to the thread.


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## JazzByChas

Well...

Being a "mutt" myself, I find it interesting to know what your ethnic makeup is...now, I realize that is just me, and that many people use such a question to assert your acceptance or derision, in their eyes...which is a shame, because I have said in a previous thread, that "variety is the spice of life" and the differences in all people is a wonderful and interesting thing.  Therefore, were I to ask such a question, I would just be asking by what "recipe" (as it were) you were made.  I would NOT be making a value judgement.  If I suspected that the person I was talking to was sensitive about the subject I would save the question for a more appropriate occaision.

So, as our French friend would say, "vive la différence!"


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## Jaén

veracity said:


> I would like to assure everyone that the questions like _"Where are you from? / Where is your family from_?" are completely normal and natural to ask in Hungary too. My focus is not on that kind of interest.
> Is she/he Gypsy? or Are you Gypsy?
> Is she/he Jew? or Are you Jew?
> 
> These are the taboos. I would rather like you to focus on these questions.
> For what reason would you ask them? Why do you think it is your business? Are you racist? Do you plan to do something wrong? Do you want to whisper into somebody else's ears that "He is Jew!" Why on earth are you curious about it?



Well, I was to talk about my family's background and origin, but now it was explained that is not the case, then I'll tell that it is said in Brazil that people whose family name is the name of a tree, as Oliveira, Carvalho... are former Jewish families converted to the Christian religion. 

For Spain, what I know is that the Jewish converted adopted the name of their birth city. I'm not sure. If so, then my family is a converted Jewish family! My family name is Jaén. Although due to my appearance, I've been asked many, many times here in Brazil if I am from Arabia, Pakistan, India (mostly) or even Paraguay!  

But in Mexico I've been also taken as a foreigner! Not only from India, but also as an illegal Central American!! Many years ago, I was almost imprisoned because I was near the south Mexican border without my ID 

Well, and reinforcing what Macunaíma said, in a multicultural country as Brazil, the most common is to find foreigner people and the first normal question (specially after noticing their foreign accent) is "where do you come from?". I'm very used to it. And after knowing I come from Mexico, the most normal is to think I am Christian. I suppose that! As nobody asked what my religion should be. But if somebody asks, no problem about it. I'l lanswer.

EDIT - Well, Vercity, after all this, and since you are in a multicultural forum, I ask you: what is the origin of your family? Or better, *of what descent are you?*


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## jinti

veracity said:


> For what reason would you ask them? Why do you think it is your business? Are you racist? Do you plan to do something wrong? Do you want to whisper into somebody else's ears that "He is Jew!" Why on earth are you curious about it?


Well, if you're in an area that is anti-Semitic, I guess it would be natural to assume bad motives. But if you're not, then it's just a point of conversation, no different from being curious about whether someone is Italian or Korean or Colombian....

Here in New York, for example, there are millions of people from all over the world who follow all sorts of religions. There are also many Jewish people, including at the university where I work. In December, it's fairly common to ask people if they celebrate Christmas so you know whether to wish them a merry one. That's a bit different than coming right out and saying "Are you Jewish?", though. 

Because I wear long skirts/dresses and a headcovering (at least I assume that's the reason), I'm asked fairly often whether I'm Jewish. Sometimes people just assume I am and wish me _Good Shabbos_ (Sabbath), or speak Hebrew to me, etc. I've also had a couple people ask me if I'm Amish.  

It doesn't really bother me; I just explain that I'm not Jewish/Amish/whatever, if the situation allows. Sometimes that's that, and sometimes they ask me about my religion. People are generally polite about it, and I don't mind being asked. I think the questions are just out of simple curiosity because people around here are used to women dressed (sort of) like me being Jewish. 

People are interested in anything different.


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## 0stsee

Some time ago, the question "Are you Chinese?" might be quite sensitive. Even the mere word _Cina_ or _Cino_ could be a bit derogatory. The terms _Chinese _(yes, the English version) and _Tionghoa_ were preferred.
But I guess in my generation it's not that big a deal to ask someone if s/he's Chinese. Although I still tend to avoid this question sometimes.

The question "Are you Jewish?" would barely be posed in Indonesia. I'm not sure if it's a taboo. The last Jews emigrated in the sixties (or seventies?). My mother still had two Jewish classmates, but they emigrated. First to Singapore, then to Israel.


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## Sidjanga

jinti said:


> ...
> People are interested in anything different.


Yes, I think that's it.
People don't usually ask that many questions about things they know only too well from their own day-in-day-out and know they share with 90% of their fellow citizens.
And there are actually loads of "positive" reasons for being curious. 

In Germany, there is no such thing as a general "taboo question". I think the most important aspects in this context are, as always and as well as with any other thing you might think of asking or saying, the tone and way in which you ask or say it and, obviously, the context: who asks whom in what way and in what situation.

There is no a priori "taboo question", and if your question (obviously) originates from polite and genuine interest or curiosity –or what so ever other "positive" motive- no one should see any "need" to feel awkward about it in any way; if you fail to respect basic social rules and show obvious lack of respect, though, you will of course encounter a less positive reaction to your answer, in any context.

As to "Gypsies", you maybe wouldn't/shouldn't use the direct German equivalent of this word (Zigeuner), as this has or may have derogatory connotations and is considered "politically not correct", but "Sinti/Roma".


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## danielfranco

Here in Texas, having such a huge hispanic contingent, people have no problem in asking:
"Where're you from, originally?"

And it's no big deal, really. Usually I tell them I'm from the Valley, by way of Mexico. And that's about the end of the conversation, really, unless the questioner also knows somebody from Mexico, and then some other questions might follow. But it's just curiosity, I think, because there are so many people from so many different places with the most interesting stories of how they ended up here, in the Lone Star State.

D


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## veracity

EDIT - Well, Vercity, after all this, and since you are in a multicultural forum, I ask you: what is the origin of your family? Or better, *of what descent are you?

Dear Jaén,
This tread is not about my being Gypsy or Jew or else. I would like to understand how people are thinking about this topic all over the world.
Thanks.
*


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## Outsider

veracity said:


> Of what descent are you?
> 
> [...]
> 
> More than 60 years has elapsed from the Holocaust to date but in Hungary we have this kind of taboos. What is the case in your country?


I don't think there is a taboo in Portugal about asking someone about their origins. However, I would like to point out that the notion of "descent" can depend on one's culture.

I don't think it's very common in Portugal to ask about people's ancestry, and when people do ask they'll normally say something like "Where do you come _from_?" (implying that you or perhaps your family are immigrants), or for example "Are you from _____ ?" or "Are you ____ [replace with any nationality]?" I think you could even ask "Are you Jewish?" or "Are you a gypsy?" without any problem, but this kind of question is less common. 

On the other hand, blunt questions like "What are you?", or asking about someone's _race_ ("Are you black or white?") would come off as impolite, I think.


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## Zsanna

I've read this topic with a lot of interest because this was one of my first surprises here, in France, that people talk about their Jewish/Gypsy origin _freely_. 
Somehow it has an "air of freedom" about it which suggests (OK, with some leaps of thought...) that there may be some truth in what somebody has already referred to here: that maybe in Hungary the prejudice about Jewish people is more important than the everyday onlooker would think. 
I know that I always "jumped" when I heard from Jewish friends that there is a lot of anti-semitism going on in Hungary. My first reaction was to defend our (dear, little) country but then I cannot deny what I've seen myself, too. Although nothing "hard core", still... 
So I'd opt for clearly felt anti-semitism for not wanting to talk about one's Jewish origin which is not felt by non-Jews as opposed the clear cut anti-Gypsy feelings (which is felt by both sides).

The strange thing is that in spite of all this, I think that Hungary is maybe one of the very few countries where Jewish words, traditions are really part of the everyday life and culture (even without people being aware of it) and also where Gypsies were most helped (at least before the changes).

But the whole thing has strange twists in it.

Just 2 examples. 
Soon after we moved into our present house (here in France), a neighbour came round to ask for our signature for a petition against the gypsies who appeared and settled down in our park with their caravans. 
Obviously there was no problem getting the signatures because they had already pages and pages of it (mind you, I heard all the "usual" racist arguments that appear in such a case, which can be used to frighten people) so the petitioner was most surprised when I said that I would not sign anything against any other nationality. 
A thing like that (collecting signatures against gypsies to be forwarded to the Town Hall so that they are removed, etc.) could never happen in Hungary. (Although now it may be different...)

Some years later, _I _complained to an English friend (a guest) about the Gypsies in the park (who came back the nth time by then) namely about how unpleasant it can be when the strong wind chucks used lavatory paper (nomads or not, they used them in the park ) into your face while crossing the park to the station... 
(I did not criticize anything else.) 
And all the friend had to remark is: "Oh yes! Hungarians are known about being racist towards Gypsies."
(I could have strangled him...! )

In any case, it is a real tricky story!


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## Jaén

veracity said:


> EDIT - Well, Vercity, after all this, and since you are in a multicultural forum, I ask you: what is the origin of your family? Or better, *of what descent are you?
> 
> Dear Jaén,
> This tread is not about my being Gypsy or Jew or else. I would like to understand how people are thinking about this topic all over the world.
> Thanks.
> *


Dear Veracity:

I got your point, and I think that to a greater or lesser extent, everybody here has answered your question. I only tried to dare you and see if, after all that's been said here you feel more comfortable and free to answer the question subject of your thread without any (or lees) shame.

Regards!


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## veracity

Great, Jaén.


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## Etcetera

In Russia, it's not common to ask about one's descent. If you ask a person where he or she is from (in geographical sense), it's OK. If you ask the person about his or her descent... oops. You may be entering a dangerous zone. 

I don't think it can be connected with the Holocaust in the first turn - rather, with the attitude towards Jews in Russia, which had formed through centuries of our history. I think many of you know the word _pogrom_, which is said to be borrowed from Russian (and this is very probable). And pogroms were long before the Holocaust... 

Here's a bit of information for you: authors of many flat rental advertisements specially indicate that they are "a Russian/Slavic family".


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## tvdxer

I often hear this question as "What are you?" and nobody seems to mind it.  After all, almost everybody in Minnesota has ancestors from somewhere else, who most likely came here within the last 150 years or so.


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## Tegs

Hi! I only just noticed this thread, but there have been some really interesting answers! Where I come from, in Northern Ireland, the question which is often at the forefront of people's thoughts is "Are you Catholic or Protestant?" That is due to the troubled history in that part of the world in the last thirty or so years. 

In fact, it is a bit of a joke there, that if you reply, "I am Jewish," people will say, "Ok, but are you a Catholic Jew or a Protestant Jew?!" 

I have a friend who is of African descent - but we are talking about his grandparents, not his parents, who were originally from Africa. An Italian guy asked him, "hey, which part of Africa are you from?", and he got really pissed off, and said, "I'm from the UK, as are my parents".

It depends I think on how you ask the question, whether you ask it very abruptly, or in a friendlier way, as well as how you phrase it. I would only feel comfortable asking such a question once I had gotten to know a person well, or if it is clear from their accent that they themselves have recently moved over. Otherwise, it would be hard to get into the conversation.


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## GreenWhiteBlue

In New York, where the majority of the population is foreign born or has foreign born parents or grandparents, it is very common for children in the schoolyard to ask each other "what nationality are you?"  The question (which I am told would seem _very_ peculiar in other parts of the United States) here means "what is your ethnic ancestry?", and even those who were born here to parents who were also born here will say "I am German" or "I am Irish and Italian" or "I am one quarter Polish, one quarter Hungarian, and half Brazilian."


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## raptor

Personally, I would be hesitant to ask what religion a person is, unless the topic came up, mostly because I know so little about religions. I'm not quite sure why, but from my experiences in BC, with Christianity, its "Okay, your Christian, hum drum;" with Judaism and Islam, "Oh, your Jewish/Muslim?" (sometimes followed by an awkward silence); the 'exotics' seem to be replied to with "Really? You're [religion]? Interesting, [I haven't met (m)any ______s] ]" and possibly a conversation about it, where it's from, etc. And if you say "I don't follow a religion" they might ask why, or tell of someone they know who doesn't either, and so on. It might also be an awkward moment after if that person is religious.

I agree with Tegs that it really depends how you phrase the question, as well as how you say it.

I think preconceptions (concious or not) may also play a part in whether or not a question will be considered impolite. For example, if you start talking to someone with dark skin, and ask "Where in Africa are you from?" they could easily get offended (especially if they - and maybe their parents, grandparents, etc - are from the US, for example). 

A similar occurance happened in a book I read, where a news reporter wanted an "ethnic minority," and chose a person who looked East Indian. She began the report with "Where are you from?" (I guess to show that people from different backgrounds all agreed on the issue), to which he replied, "I'm American." She was flustered, as would many of us have been. 

To assume that someone is of a certain religion based on their appearance or clothing, etc, is also a preconception that is often wrong, as jinti has shown and experienced.

These are all based on the idea that someone who looks or sounds different must be of a certain 'type' (religiously or geographically), although that is often not the case.

raptor


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## Jaén

raptor said:


> * To assume that someone is of a certain religion based on their appearance or clothing, etc, is also a preconception that is often wrong, as jinti has shown and experienced.[*/quote]
> I agree with you.
> 
> The point is how people take these 'pre-conceptions'. If easy, as Jinti, or they get offended and most important, why they get offended.


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## CrazyArcher

Etcetera said:


> In Russia, it's not common to ask about one's descent. If you ask a person where he or she is from (in geographical sense), it's OK. If you ask the person about his or her descent... oops. You may be entering a dangerous zone.
> 
> I don't think it can be connected with the Holocaust in the first turn - rather, with the attitude towards Jews in Russia, which had formed through centuries of our history...


It's not only about Jews. Tatars were bearing a kind of stain in common perception for centuries, and merely naming a person as 'Tatar' still sounds offensive for some people. The situation has improved when some actors of Tatar descent gained wide popularity, though.

In Israel it's quite common to be asked a question like that and no one would be offended. More than that, some people are quite proud to elaborate on this topic ("My parental grandparents are from Holland and Germany, and my mother's family is from Persia").


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## BigRedDog

veracity said:


> Of what descent are you? I would feel much easier to pose a question to anybody; are you gay? This is regarded as insulting too in my country, but not to that extent. ...What is the reason for this? The holocaust, certainly.



But then if the Holocaust is the reason why is the question not equally sensitive for Jews, Gypsies and Gays?


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## alexacohen

BigRedDog said:


> But then if the Holocaust is the reason why is the question not equally sensitive for Jews, Gypsies and Gays?


Gypsies and gays ended up in the _Vernichtungslager_ too, but I don't think the Holocaust has anything to do with the question.
People may be labelled, punished, mistreated just because of their nationality, religion, sex.
Homosexual people are considered "freaks" (to put it mildly) in many countries; in many others, if you declare yourself homosexual you may end up in prison.
You'd better not ask if a person is gay or not when you are in country X. And the person asked had better not answer.


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## avok

In Turkey, people's ethnicity is an open secret. Everybody knows everybody. For example our Prime Minister Tayyip Erdoğan is of Georgian origin, his wife is of Arabian origin but they are both Turkish. One of my friends is half Cretan half Azeri and the other one is 3/4 Bosnian and 1/4 Albanian etc. the list goes on.. but I am not allowed to list here, you know. I reckon questions about religion or sexuality are far more delicate here.


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## Macunaíma

avok said:


> I reckon questions about religion or sexuality are far more delicate here.


 
A recent survey published in a Brazilian weekly magazine showed that the overwhelming majority (I don't remember the exact figure, but more than 90%) of the questioned respondents would vote for a black man for President no problem, a little less would vote for a woman, few people would vote for a homossexual, but very, very few people would vote for a manifest atheist. 

A black, atheist lesbian would be ruled out.

But seriously, that shows an enourmous hypocrisy. Atheists are looked upon as imoral and suspicious, whereas some of the most corrupt politicians ever in Brazil were elected on religious platforms and had their campaigns paid for by some evangelical churches which, guess what?, lauder money (can you think of a better way to lauder money?).

So, whereas Brazil is a country where racism is not a big issue, there is this taboo against atheists. 

When asked about their faith, a Brazilian atheists will probably answer "catholic" by default (most were baptized as babies, so they are nominally catholic).

So here you have our taboo question.


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## Jaén

Macunaíma said:


> But seriously, that shows an enourmous hypocrisy. Atheists are looked upon as imoral and suspicious, whereas some of the most corrupt politicians ever in Brazil were elected on religious platforms and had their campaigns paid for by some evangelical churches which, guess what?, lauder money (can you think of a better way to lauder money?).


The most funny I see here in Brazil about this, is that in the main room of the Senate and the Chamber of Deputies, high above in the wall, there is a crucifix!


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## IxOhOxI

"Of what descent are you?" isn't considered as an offended question but instead of asking that specifically, they usually ask "Are you mixed?" (You can find many half-blooded people here and pure Thais can be barely found) or "Where are you from?". However, a person is often being asked what his/her nationality is when he/she doesn't look like a Thai.

But if you ask the Jewish "Of what descent are you?" That would be different. I think this case for Jewish is rather sensitive, I guess you already know why that is.


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## panderetita1986

argentina84 said:


> This is a very ordinary question and it is not considered offensive at all! In fact, people in general like to talk about their ancestors, since we Argentinians descend mostly from Italians, Spanish and Portuguese immigrants (also from German, French, British and Polish ones).
> 
> This is a very popular topic of conversation here.


 
I completely agree. There is a very common idiom here: "Los argentinos descienden de los barcos" (The Argentinians "descend from" - "get off" ships). And as most people from cities like Buenos Aires, Córdoba, Rosario, etc. descend from Spanish and Italians, sometimes it's even boring to ask! (but... just if you wanted to know, I descend from Spanish, Italians and, olalá, surprise, French!)


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## Serendippper

In London people frequently ask "Where are you from?", which doesn't particularly worry me since I only settled here 20 years ago; but a British-Asian guy - born in the UK of Pakistani parents - with whom I worked in a restaurant 12 years ago used to reply (accurately) "High Wycombe" and find it infuriating when people would then laugh and say, "No, but where are you _really _from?" I found his annoyance justifiable, and am happy to say such tactlessness is on the wane.

A friend of mine from New York City was appalled when I told him this though, and said it would be considered very rude to assume someone wasn't American, in the way such people here assumed someone brown-skinned couldn't be British.

Indeed, my usual response to the question was to say "Where do _you_ think I'm from?" (I'm mixed-race and not particularly easy to categorise), and I recall one woman saying, "Well, you speak perfect RP ...?" while evidently still being incapable of imagining that I was British-born.


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## alexacohen

Serendippper said:


> Indeed, my usual response to the question was to say "Where do _you_ think I'm from?" (I'm mixed-race and not particularly easy to categorise), and I recall one woman saying, "Well, you speak perfect RP ...?" while evidently still being incapable of imagining that I was British-born.


 
That's funny because Spaniards tend to assume that everyone living in Spain is Spanish (obviously people with ethnophobic ideas don't count), no matter how foreign be their accent.

Years ago, when it was not compulsory for airline agents to check the passengers' travel documents this assumption cost hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines to the companies, because citizens of countries X and Y were not allowed to enter country Z. And the check in employees simply assumed that if passengers were living in Spain, they were Spanish, therefore allowed to fly everywhere inside Europe.


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## Hulalessar

Race is a delusion. People talk about “blood”, but of course we know that blood has nothing to do with it. Quite literally no blood passes from mother to embryo in the womb. What is important is genetics. Everyone inherits 23 chromosomes from their father and 23 from their mother. It does not follow that you receive an even number of chromosomes form each grand parent – that would entail getting 11½ from each – an impossibility. A simple calculation shows that if you go back to your 64 ancestors in the 6th generation that (assuming there has been no inbreeding) you cannot have inherited genes from every one of them. So much for your however-many-times great-grandfather being a king!


I do not know where two of my grandparents were born. How many of us can say where each of our eight great grandparents was born? People move from country to country. However proud an X you may be you may find that not that far back one of your ancestors was not an X.


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## JazzByChas

After having read some of the posts, which seem to indicate that the question is asked with an agenda in mind, I must agree with Cuchu for Americans.

Being a country which has more immigrants than natives, and especially a country in which the prevailing mindset is based on the Western Europeans (mostly Great Britain) who first settled this country.

When I was a child in the 1950's and 1960's African Americans and Latin Americans were not looked upon as having "desirable" ethnic/socio-economic background.

From history, immigrants from Eastern Europe or the Asias were looked upon as not being from the "desirable" background.

In present times, especially with an African American running for the Democtratic presidential nomination, most "ethnicities" are desirable, especially the more exotic. With perhaps, some uncomfortableness with Middle-Eastern Asians with political views that are radical and warlike, e.g. Al-Qaeda, or others who practice "holy war." 

So, now as always, in the USA, time and tide may change one's views of whose "tribe" is more "socially/economically and politically acceptable, but there will always be the "us's" and the "them's" unfortunately... The ones on the "outside" tend to come from countries that are economically depressed, and where crime and brutality are rampant, e.g. Idi Amin in Uganda in the 1970s, or Nigeria, from which country a lot of monetary scams are being purported on many hapless Americans.

Obviously, this does not apply to everyone in these countries...but the perception is more influenced by the whole than the individual parts.



			
				Cuchuflete said:
			
		

> While the question may be harmless, at times it is intended as a "polite" way to determine if one is of a "socially acceptable" tribal background. Of course that varies according to the prejudices of the questioner.


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## ajo fresco

I have enjoyed reading all the replies in this very interesting thread!

Just to add my 2 cents... 

I am asked this question all the time, by both Americans and foreign visitors, and I'm not offended at all.  

Sometimes I ask these people, out of curiosity, what prompted them to ask me.  They always say it's because they can't categorize my surname (which was clumsily Americanized by my non-English-speaking great-grandparents), my accent (I've lived in different parts of the U.S. so my speech is not anchored to one particular region), or figure out my ethnicity by looking at me (I'm a mix of cultures).  Never has anyone asked me in a mean-spirited or prejudicial manner.  

I take it all in good humor, and it's always the start of an interesting conversation!


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## vampares

> When I was a child in the 1950's and 1960's African Americans and Latin Americans were not looked upon as having "desirable" ethnic/socio-economic background.



There certainly is a connotation to "Latin American".  That is Puerto Rician.  But Indians are not Mexicans and they certainly aren't Latin American's.  So what distinction is left?

Gums.


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## Serendippper

vampares said:


> There certainly is a connotation to "Latin American". That is Puerto Rician. But Indians are not Mexicans and they certainly aren't Latin American's. So what distinction is left?
> 
> Gums.


 
Well, since they're rather a long way from India they're not really Indians either, are they?!

'Native Americans' or 'Amerindians', I suppose. And if they're citizens of Mexico, they're Mexicans; if citizens of Puerto Rico, then Puerto Rican, and so on.


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## newbold

FYI - 12% of the US population is foreign born. 

As long as you phrase it politely it's never rude to ask someone about their family origins. If i'm talking to someone with any sort of accent (even from a different part of the US) i ask them where they are from. Sometimes they ask me to guess but i've never had anyone get offended. People are usually proud to talk about where they're from. 

Since all sides of my family have been in this country for 4 or 5 generations, if people ask me "where is your family from" i answer "New York" then i smile and say "no, really,my family comes from all over." 

More often than not, though, people see my last name and say "is that italian?" and I say "certo! but i'm also irish, english, polish, french and native american (penobscot)." 

I lived in the southeastern US for 5 years and was aksed quite often by people i had just met, "where do you go to church?"  which really caught me off guard because in the northeastern US that's a very personal question because you're assuming that someone goes to church in the first place. I could go to temple, a mosque, or, in fact, not practice any religion at all. 

The first time someone asked me that i said, "that's not really your business" and after that i would say "that's sort of personal." While living there I also had someone ask me if i was catholic because of my last name. I wasn't offended like i was when people asked me where i went to church because he was really just curious about catholics because he didn't know any. He didn't really want to know anything about me. Apparently it's a commonly held belief in the south that catholics worship Mary and that she is part of the trinity. I was happy to explain it to him and he was glad to know. 

Anyway, in the northeast it's really only acceptable to talk about religion or ask someone about their religion if you're among friends. Even then, unless you do a lot of work with a church, it's really not something people talk about very much.


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## timpeac

newbold said:


> More often than not, though, people see my last name and say "is that italian?" and I say "certo! but i'm also irish, english, polish, french and native american (penobscot)."


Just to note this is a very American thing to say (as opposed to UK). Here for someone to be born here but say "I'm x y and z" is very odd (no dig at you - I know it's common usage over there!). In fact to say "I am" plus several different countries is effectively a contradiction in terms here. I don't think anyone here with French parents, say, and certainly one with Italian and French grandparents would say "I am French" or "I'm Italian and French" - or if they did it would be a definite rejection of the idea that they were "British" rather than this other nationality. I suppose this goes to show some differences between the new and old world in determining who we "are". Someone having Italian or French "blood" or parents etc is not something, I think, that anyone here would consider interesting enough to mention (without a specific reason) - for the UK at least we probably all have another nationality somewhere in the last few generations. But again - that's no criticism, when you're a young country I can imagine it's a very reasonable ice-breaker between relative strangers when most people have a particular gene pool.


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## newbold

timpeac said:


> Just to note this is a very American thing to say (as opposed to UK). Here for someone to be born here but say "I'm x y and z" is very odd (no dig at you - I know it's common usage over there!). In fact to say "I am" plus several different countries is effectively a contradiction in terms here . . .



I understand how it could sound strange and i'm guessing you mean that it's a uniquely american construct. B/C the concept isn't uniquely american. American aren't saying "i'm irish and italian" to denote what passports they carry. 

It's to identify ethnicity. 

Personally, i identify as american. Even on an ethnic level. I only mention those other ethnicities because that's what people want to know. When you meet americans in europe they don't tell you their family origins. They tell you they're american (or they tell you they're canadian). But I have been asked by english, irish and italians about my family origins. 

Anyway, there are plenty of people in my neighborhood who are second generation americans and both of their parents are from the same city in Indonesia or Vietnam and they identify as such because they have that connection. That's how their family got to the US. They came from Battambang via a refugee camp in Thailand or they came from Sumatra. It doesn't work that well when your family has been in north america for at least 150 years and you're a mix of many things. I can still explain it all to you but it would take 15 minutes. 

On that note, though, I've heard plenty of Brits in the US and while i was in the UK identify themselves as Scottish, Welsh, Irish, or English. It's always unprompted and usually just in passing "we english are a sarcastic lot" or when talking politics "hey, don't blame me, i'm scottish." It's the same concept. 

In europe you often have several nations under one state. The Belgians have the Walloons and the Flemish. The Spanish have Catalans,  Castellanos, Basques, and Gallegos. The French have Basques, Catalans, Corsicans, and Bretons. The Italians have a similar divide between north and south and the Sicilians and Sardinians. In those cases people don't have to spend a lot of time identifying themselves because their language does it for them. 

The difference in the US is that we don't have homelands for different ethnic groups within the country. We usually just live in different parts of the same city - but even that's becoming less and less and common. If i'm welsh and i go to work in London my accent tells everyone i'm from wales. Unless i'm a visible minority people can assume that i'm welsh. OTOH, if i'm from Minneapolis and I go to work in NYC my accent will tell everyone that i'm from Minnesota. But people of european ancestry don't come from Minnesota. If someone asked me what my ethnicity was they're asking how my people got to Minneapolis. We have a pretty good idea of how the angles, saxons, and jutes got to england. How so many norwegians and swedes got to Minnesota is a little bit foggier. 

In reality though, of all my friends, friends i've had for 4 to 20 years I only know the ethnic origins of maybe half of them. For the most part they're the friends i've had the longest and I know because i've met their grandparents or because they have an interesting last name and i've asked about it, or because they have an accent and i've asked. Even though it's not rude to ask it's really not information that americans are just waiting to volunteer. If you wind up talking about it with coworkers or other acquaintances it's because it came up in conversation and then it's usually because you were talking about religious holidays or family traditions or accents/dialects (american english has a lot of ethnolects). 

Question for you. There are a ton of immigrants in London. Their children don't identify as indian/chinese/nigerian/thai while still recognizing that their nationality is British?  I've had French students who had obviously non-french last names. I would say, joking around, "So Belilovsky is a french name?" The student laughed and said "no, my family is from Russia." That's all americans are saying when they say "i'm polish and french" It's just easier than saying "my grandparents on my dad's side came from poland and my grandparents on my mother's side came from france."


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## Serendippper

newbold said:


> On that note, though, I've heard plenty of Brits in the US and while i was in the UK identify themselves as Scottish, Welsh, Irish, or English. It's always unprompted and usually just in passing "we english are a sarcastic lot" or when talking politics "hey, don't blame me, i'm scottish." It's the same concept.


 
Yes, but the Scots, Welsh and English are often very proud of their distinct ethnicities and the widely-recognised characteristics that are associated with them, and which have separate states/homelands within the UK; and most of the Irish are from an independent nation - naturally they're not going to say they're 'British' (or, worse, 'Brits')!


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## alexacohen

newbold said:


> Question for you. There are a ton of immigrants in London. Their children don't identify as indian/chinese/nigerian/thai while still recognizing that their nationality is British?


 
May I answer this one? 

There are lots of inmigrants where I live. From many places: Argentina, Venezuela, China, Morocco, Mauretania, Philippines. Many of them have work and residence permits.

When they're asked that question, their answers may be: _I'm not Spanish yet_, if they've not been issued a Spanish identity card.
If they already have their card and passport, then the answer is _"I'm Spanish"._


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## lcfatima

I think in the US this question is okay for white people because they have nothing to lose with this question, and it would only be asked in certain limited contexts. White or Euro-American equals American in the broader American consciousness. The average white person's decent is just some part of her personal narrative and not usually relevant for daily life. 

However, if you are a person of color or visibly a minority of any kind, this question is asked of you CONSTANTLY and is one of those question that can seriously get on the nerves. The What is your decent question? is annoying and intrusive. It makes you feel like you are under a microscope. A third generation Irish American, as a white person, is probably rarely asked the Where are you REALLY from?, or What decent are you? question. But if you are a third generation Chinese American, because of your non-white face, you will be asked this question and treated like a foreigner pretty much perpetually. "My, your English is sooo good!" usually follows, even when the person asked is born in the US and thinks of English as a native language. It is all very patronizing.

More tactful people should only ask this question if there is some reason, but (white) people will ask you at the grocery store, in the waiting room at the doctor's office, just any random place. I think just for fun, we should start asking mainstream white American people this question all the time just to see what happens. 

So, to the original query, in the USA, the what is your decent question takes on totally different implications if you think outside of white normativity.


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## newbold

alexacohen said:


> May I answer this one?
> 
> There are lots of inmigrants where I live. From many places: Argentina, Venezuela, China, Morocco, Mauretania, Philippines. Many of them have work and residence permits.
> 
> When they're asked that question, their answers may be: _I'm not Spanish yet_, if they've not been issued a Spanish identity card.
> If they already have their card and passport, then the answer is _"I'm Spanish"._



Thanks for the reply. Are Spanish immigrants saying that when the question is "¿es de cual pais?" or ¿es un ciudadano de españa?"  

If you phrase the question right you'll get the same answer here. As an example, I was talking to one of my neighbors at the park a few weeks ago. He had a heavy Khmer accent. I asked him if he had been living in the neighborhood for a long time.
 He said, "no, just 2 years." 
I said, "oh, did you just come from Cambodia?" 
he said, "no, i'm Canadian. I came from Toronto. I want to go back but my wife says 'too cold.'"

It's like if you were in Figueres and met a guy named Josep Bernat you probably wouldn't ask him if he was Catalan. But if you were in Oviedo and you met someone who spoke perfect Spanish but was named Alexandru Ionescu you would probably assume that he was a Spanish citizen but that's not a name too many people from Asturias have, so you might ask "is your family from Romania?"


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## newbold

lcfatima said:


> "My, your English is sooo good!" usually follows, even when the person asked is born in the US and thinks of English as a native language. It is all very patronizing.



Ouch! I thought that only happened on TV. I've seriously never heard that in real life before. If you don't mind me asking, where do you live?  I'm just asking b/c it seems like a faux pas that would come up a lot in places with little ethnic diversity. 

Here, when you're asking the question of a stranger it's really only acceptable if they have an accent. If you just struck up a conversation on the bus and out of nowhere asked what country someone's family came from it would be incredibly awkward. 

I have an asian friend from work who I always figured was at least third generation. It was never a topic b/c we were around the same age, we  grew up in the same area, shared a lot of the same interests - there were no real cultural differences.  One day, after working with her for a while I asked, "Tran, that's Vietnamese right?" to which she said "well, my parents are actually from China and their name is Chan but when they moved to Vietnam it became Tran." I then found out that she was actually born in Vietnam and that's when her parents decided to come to the US. So here's this completely american girl, on the surface at least, who is actually first generation. She then asked me about my family origins, which i told her, but not without the preface "it's not nearly as exciting as your story . . . "

My point is that a.) I don't think it's an acceptable conversation topic to have with a stranger and b.) It's ridiculous to assume that someone who speaks english with an american accent is not american and c.) i wouldn't assume that your acquaintances and friends of european ancestry are reluctant to talk about their heritage or would be offended by the question.


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## alexacohen

newbold said:


> Are Spanish immigrants saying that when the question is "¿es de cual pais?" or ¿es un ciudadano de españa?" ?"


The first question I think I have answered before. The second question does not work here. If you are a citizen of Spain, you are Spanish, it does not matter where you were born. 


> If you phrase the question right you'll get the same answer here.


Of course the question may be asked in many different ways, some of them polite, and some of them unpolite. We do have xenophobic and racist people here (unfortunately). 



> But if you were in Oviedo and you met someone who spoke perfect Spanish but was named Alexandru Ionescu you would probably assume that he was a Spanish citizen but that's not a name too many people from Asturias have, so you might ask "is your family from Romania?"


No, that wouldn't happen here either. People would say "Wow, what a strange/uncommon surname".


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## newbold

alexacohen said:


> The first question I think I have answered before. The second question does not work here. If you are a citizen of Spain, you are Spanish, it does not matter where you were born.


 
I think you're taking me too literally. 

It's the same here. If you're a US citizen then you're american. It doesn't matter where you born. Everyone who is a citizen here is an american. The question isn't about your citizenship. 



> No, that wouldn't happen here either. People would say "Wow, what a strange/uncommon surname".


 
People would say "what an uncommon surname" but they wouldn't want to know where the name comes from? 
In the US most people probably wouldn't literally aks "is your name Romanian?" They would probably ask something like "what kind of name is that?" 

I guess i don't understand. 

When I move to Oviedo next year and my colleagues hear my accent they will only ask me if i'm a Spanish citizen? And i will answer "yes" or "not yet" ? They won't want ask me what country i'm from?


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## alexacohen

newbold said:


> I think you're taking me too literally.
> 
> It's the same here. If you're a US citizen then you're american. It doesn't matter where you born. Everyone who is a citizen here is an american. The question isn't about your citizenship. ?


Maybe. I don't know. I don't understand why it is important where your parents/grandparents/greatgrandparents came from. Not many people in Spain care at all. The Fitzjames-Stuarts, the Osbornes, the Domecqs, the Terrys, Koplowitzs, Herzogs, Verstrynges, Gippini, Jourdan, are well known Spanish families. 
No one gives a damn about where they come from originally. It is quite evident it's not Spain.


> People would say "what an uncommon surname" but they wouldn't want to know where the name comes from?
> In the US most people probably wouldn't literally aks "is your name Romanian?" They would probably ask something like "what kind of name is that?"


What we would ask would be, most probably, "y eso, ¿cómo se escribe?"


> I guess i don't understand.


I don't understand you, either.


> When I move to Oviedo next year and my colleagues hear my accent they will only ask me if i'm a Spanish citizen? And i will answer "yes" or "not yet" ? They won't want ask me what country i'm from?


That's not the same. When you move people is going to ask you lots of questions, and I bet they will be the same questions my sister was asked when she moved to Columbus.
If you plan to stay and live here, that's what your workmates and neighbours will ask. "Qué, chaval, ¿ya eres español o piensas seguir siendo americano toda la vida?".


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## newbold

alexacohen said:


> Maybe. I don't know. I don't understand why it is important where your parents/grandparents/greatgrandparents came from.



It's not important. It's not important at all. But it is the title of thread



> Not many people in Spain care at all. The Fitzjames-Stuarts, the Osbornes, the Domecqs, the Terrys, Koplowitzs, Herzogs, Verstrynges, Gippini, Jourdan, are well known Spanish families.
> No one gives a damn about where they come from originally. It is quite evident it's not Spain.



And we have all those names here as well. And 99% of the time no one thinks anything of it. 



> What we would ask would be, most probably, "y eso, ¿cómo se escribe?"



If someone called me and said their last name was Czerniejewski then yeah, i'm going to ask them how to spell it.   



> I don't understand you, either.



I didn't say that i didn't understand _you_. I said i didn't understand (it). The object being the apparent lack of human curiosity. 



> That's not the same. When you move people is going to ask you lots of questions, and I bet they will be the same questions my sister was asked when she moved to Columbus.



Oh, but it is the same. Your sister went to Ohio, she made some friends, and  they probably wanted to know all about Spain, her life, her family, her school, etc. People are curious everywhere. 



> If you plan to stay and live here, that's what your workmates and neighbours will ask. "Qué, chaval, ¿ya eres español o piensas seguir siendo americano toda la vida?".



I'm not that young but I appreciate it. Since there are a lot of naturalized citizens and there also a lot of people in this country sin papeles it would be considered extremely rude to ask a question like that to anyone but your best of friends. 

Whether or not I stay in Spain permanently depends on a lot of things but, if i did stay there, and I did become a Spanish citizen I wouldn't stop being american - es mi cultura, siempre. I would be no different than the Ecuadoreans and Romanians in Spain who open up their own groceries or bakeries or music shops (i know, i've seen them) and sell things unique to their country of origin. Even if, as you say, no one in Spain cares, they still do. They don't forget where they came from the day they get their Spanish papers.

And who knows, maybe it's that same sort of attitude in France where the government and much of the public pretends that 1st and 2nd generation immigrants are perfectly assimilated and perfectly french. Vous avez des papiers français, non? Si! Vous-etes français! Bienvenue! . . . and then they have huge riots and half the cities in France burn because many of the immigrants are not assimilated into french culture at all.


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## alexacohen

But they are, here.
Not in big cities where there are ghettos; the inmigrants with no work or residence permits tend to go to big cities so they'll go unnoticed in the middle of the mayhem. 
They're bound to be exploited, I'm not saying we Spaniards are all the Sisters of Mercy.
But the villages which were slowly becoming deserted welcome inmigrants; they are given housing, lands, jobs. I live in one of them, and there are more villages like that scattered all over Spain.
No one wonders, no one cares, no one thinks it is important, there are no ghettos, but communities.

If some of us celebrate Hannukah and not Christmas, and the Muslim families the Ramadan; what of it? are we not _fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer?_


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## sound shift

To go back to the original question - no, I wouldn't say that asking about a person's descent is taboo in the UK.

I think it depends on the person and the way the question is put. I have not yet been told to mind my own business! Perhaps the people on the receiving end of my questioning wanted to avoid any unpleasantness, but I tend to the view that they were pleased that somebody was taking an interest.

In the UK, people from the Indian sub-continent and the UK-born children of such people are routinely referred to as "Asians" - a highly vague term. I have sometimes tried to get behind this by asking individuals of "Asian" appearance about their language and/or their religion, and I have not yet landed myself in hot water. I have even done this with people I did not know.

Another tactic is to say "That's an unusual name. Is it from XXXX country?" I have not yet come to grief with this!


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## ajo fresco

lcfatima said:


> A third generation Irish American, as a white person, is probably rarely asked the Where are you REALLY from?, or What decent are you? question.
> 
> I think just for fun, we should start asking mainstream white American people this question all the time just to see what happens.



As I mentioned in my previous post (#44), this already happens to me a lot -- by both white and non-white Americans -- and it doesn't bother me.  However, I can't speak for my fellow "white Americans."  

But I do understand how it could be annoying or troubling to someone who appears to be a minority.  That's why I never ask unless I already know the person, or unless they ask me first.


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## zuzanadoma

Hello everyone.

I'm glad I finally found the time to join this thread 

I think this issue is especially sensitive in Central/Eastern Europe. The horrors of WWII are not, and should not of course, be forgotten. As Sigianga says it is ever so important to talk. 

Here, however, end of WWII was not the end to discrimination, well I really rather mean prosecution, on the basis of descend. Jews (as well as Gypsies, for instance) were of unwelcome descend for another 40 years after the war. For the communist leaders, the only "correct" descend was working class backgroud. Anything else was simply wrong. If your family was traditionally in business (the Jewish stereotype) or aristocratic or if your background was rather scholastic, you were bound to encounter problems. 




Sigianga said:


> For those reasons, the question _"Where are you from? / Where is your family from_?" is the most normal thing in the world, and nobody would find it strange or even offending/insulting. This issue - the mutual interest in and exchange of everyones "roots" or geographical/cultural/... background - is certainly among the most important and most "popular" conversation topics, especially at getting to know someone. It's more, I dare say that, in many situations, it might even be taken as a marked lack of interest in the other person if you don't ask anything in this direction.
> 
> The Jewish people I have met talked very openly about their religion and culture (when the conversation, for what ever reason, led to this topic). Presently, Germany has the third most numerous Jewish population in Europe and, if I am not much mistaken, the fasted growing one in the world.
> Finally, the situation seems to be really "normalising", and non-Jewish people are generally quite interested in getting to know more about Jewish religion and traditions.
> 
> It's always important to ask and to answer - it's very important to talk, to exchange information and complete partial or apparent knowlegde.
> The lack of talking, the lack of curiosity, taboos in this respect and the resulting lack of knowledge only lead to misunderstanding and prejudices.



For the above reasons, it is probably more difficult to discuss people's backgrounds in countries like the Czech Republic or Hungary than in Germany - the memory of  suspicion related to descend is still too vivid. 

Fortunately, the situation is changing even here. More and more people are willing to discuss their backgrounds and the taboos are going. 

Still, I feel the wording of the question is sensitive. If I wanted to ask a person (especially one I do not know very well) if their family was Jewish for example - I would be very carefull about exactly how I do it.

*"Are you a Jew?"* Certainly not. I don't mean we're not interested, we *are*, but there is such a strong tradition (which we do not want to be associated with) of prejudice against Jews that I think hardly anyone I know would ask the question so directly... 
*"Is your family Jewish?"* No, probably no, still too bold. The neonazis also make regular appearance here 
*"Of what descend are you?"* NO. Might be understood: "Could you please let me jab a needle in your finger to see if your blood is blue perhaps?" 
*"Where does your family come from?"* Yes, that mihgt be it. But that may not get me the information I want, obviously, even though I might get plenty of geographical details...  Well, then...?
*"What religion is/was your family?"* Yes, that's the one, finally... 

Ugh, still a long way to go, haven't we?

Rgds to all
Zuzana


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## Porteño

As has already been said by argentina84, there are no taboos here in Argentina as regards one's ancestry. As a private teacher, at some point I often ask my students about their origins and religion just as a way of getting to know them better, but never with any idea of judging them. 

When I lived in the UK, Jews generally tended to keep a low profile and for the most part lived in well-defined neighbourhoods, such as Golders Green. Nowadays, it seems that things have changed and you come across them all over the place, although they do not advertise themselves any more than do Christians, Lutherans, Presbyterians, etc. etc. This residential separation in the past meant that, to the best of my knowledge, I had never met a Jew and, I must confess, harboured some reservations toward them. That all changed here in BA where at one time about 90% of my students were Jewish and I was absolutely fascinated to learn their take on life, although the great majority I found were not overly 'religious' so to speak, much like the Anglicans in the UK.

This may be heading a little off topic, but I think it is extremely important that we all get to know people from all races and religions. In that way prejudices will gradually disappear and things like the Holocaust will never be repeated.


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## Basaloe

It isnt a big issue in Sweden due to massive immigration but to ask someone if hes a jew/gipsy straight out is more offensive since its still seen as "ugly".


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## katie_here

People don't often ask me what religion I am and I don't know many people who ask others.  Mostly we can tell who is Jewish by the way they dress, but obviously, not on everyone, but would never dare ask.  Not because we are afraid but because its not relevant in normal conversation.  I think we would only ask if we were making provisions for them like dietary requirements.  

Gypsies.  The main ones I come across are Romany Gypsies or Travellers.  They usually have an identifiable accent that is unlike any other accent I know.  They only have to speak for us to know.   I don't have much dealings with them and I don't know of an occassion when it would be necessary to ask.


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