# Mam kobietę



## bluejaysfan1978

Hello fellow language nerds!  New to the forum, and I admit, I'm here for a reason - I need your help!

I'm trying to get a deeper understanding of the above noted Polish phrase:

Mam kobiete z ktora chce zyc bye

My understanding is that it means "I have a women with whom I want to live."  On the face of things, it seems relatively straightforward - these words were spoken by a married man to his wife, indicated that he is leaving her for another woman.  However, it has been explained to me that the first part of the phrase "I have a woman" indicates a deeper, intimate relationship - in that he already posesses this woman in the sense that he has already engaged in sexual relations with her.

I know it's odd, but when you read this phrase, do you get the sense that he has already had an affair, or that he wants to and plans to have an affair.

Your thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.


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## Karton Realista

This sentence could mean anything without a context. For example:
"I have a woman with whom I want to live... and she is my wife, I'm not interested in you, stop flirting with me"


bluejaysfan1978 said:


> However, it has been explained to me that the first part of the phrase "I have a woman" indicates a deeper, intimate relationship - in that he already posesses this woman in the sense that he has already engaged in sexual relations with her.


Maybe... or maybe not. It can mean that, but it can be that he (I'm assuming) has already found a woman he's been searching his whole life (example sentence: Mam kobietę, z którą chcę spędzić resztę swojego życia, znalazłem ją) and never actually got close to her, but fell in love with her and wants to contribute to overpopulating the Earth with her.

The style of the thing you brought up suggests few things:
-bye, as a lot of English loans not present in the dictionaries, is very colloquial - not the nicest thing to say while breaking up with someone;
-same can be said about the lack of interpunction or grammar, the person was clearly uninvolved deeply into talking with whoever they happened to adress;
-this statement is quite turgid, which creates a contrast between style of text and its form.


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## bluejaysfan1978

You are correct - this is a break up text (ouch) from a husband to his soon to be ex-wife.  If you were to read the message in that context, would you assume that he had indeed met someone new and the "deed" had already been done, or that it was something he was planning on doing?


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## Karton Realista

bluejaysfan1978 said:


> If you were to read the message in that context, would you assume that he had indeed met someone new and the "deed" had already been done, or that it was something he was planning on doing?


Nothing in the sentence implies one way over the other. I personally, through logic, would conclude that the guy has already slept with his lover - otherwise how would he be cofident enough to break up with his wife/gf?


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## Gochna

I would say that the man's relationship with the new woman has been ekhm... consummated. 
Otherwise, I think that he would rather say "*Znalazłem *kobietę (...)" - I *found *the woman (..), and as Katron Realista said, would that be enough to leave the wife?

Bottom line is, for me "Mam" means that he's definitely already had an affair.

Hope this helps!


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## Karton Realista

Gochna said:


> Bottom line is, for me "Mam" means that he's definitely already had an affair.


I would dispute this, since people are clumsy enough with language to say it and not necessarily imply consumating the marriage by it, "have" has a plenty of meanings. 
And obviously sometimes wishful thinking kicks in.


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## Ben Jamin

Gochna said:


> I would say that the man's relationship with the new woman has been ekhm... consummated.
> Otherwise, I think that he would rather say "*Znalazłem *kobietę (...)" - I *found *the woman (..), and as Katron Realista said, would that be enough to leave the wife?
> 
> Bottom line is, for me "Mam" means that he's definitely already had an affair.
> 
> Hope this helps!


It is just your guess, no steady ground to say so.


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## Gochna

Of course, this is just my opinion. 

As the original message said:


bluejaysfan1978 said:


> do you get the sense that he has already had an affair, or that he wants to and plans to have an affair.



IMHO, the affair has already happened. But of course, you are right, only the person who said these words may say with certainty what he really meant.


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## tewlwolow

The word "affair" is rather vague. I think you mistake the given phrase for more straighforward _miałem już kobietę (=byłem już z kobietą)_, which is sexual (though a bit euphemistic) through and through. The sentence _mam kobietę_, however, does not implicate anything like that - it only denotes that the person in question had found a woman and was/is in some sort of relationship with her. The details are not given, and there is nothing directly pointing at sexual intercourse. Though of course, that's the (pathetic) reason for most of the affairs.

The sentence, in this light, is blurry at best without the context of the person's traits and characteristics. The phrase _mam kobietę (=mam kogoś)_, uttered by an asexual person, for instance, would *not* be self-contradictory.

Also, the verb _mieć_ is far less connected with possessing than it seems. In such cases as the aforementioned one, it is used purely figuratively.


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