# hug



## hasekfan02

i understand that hugging is not as popular of a social convention in france as it is here in the states. really, what i'd like to know is how to even describe a hug in french. the translation here is étreindre, but the french resident at my college only came up with the phrase 'donner un embrassade,' which she admitted is a bit archaic. how might a modern french student say hug?

merci!


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## J-Christophe

Une accolade ?


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## Micia93

I can't see any specific term, apart from "accolade" as suggested by Jean-Christophe, but it seems a bit weak to me
for instance, for : "I gave him a hug", I'd say "je l'ai pris / serré / dans mes bras", but again, difficult to find out a proper noun to describe this action !


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## samlibere

For "give me a hug!", you would say "Dans mes bras!" ou "Enlace-moi" (the second one if you are in love)


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## Icetrance

"serrer dans les bras" This is how the French usually express the act of hugging.

Je n'aime pas qu'on me serre dans les bras =  I don't like to be hugged

There is the French verb "étreindre", but I don't hear it that much.


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## rachlapro

I live in Paris, and the French do hug 

"Fais-moi un *calin*!"  =   "Give me a hug!"


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## Rose*

Hi !

Tricky question...

One word I can think of, that hasn't come up yet, would be 'calin', as in 'faire un calin à quelqu'un'. However this word can only be used when the hug expresses affection and tenderness, for instance, it could be used for a mother and child, or for lovers, but NOT in the case of a celebratory hug (ex, after scoring a goal).

Also, it's not a very formal expression... it looks strange written down, but it's fine in a conversation.

'Prendre dans ses bras' is a slight variation of 'serrer dans ses bras', maybe more neutral.

Hope that helps


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## BEEKEEPER

Etreindre a des connotation amoureuses.
Prendre dans ses bras est plus qu'une marque d'amitié.
Faire une accolade semble un geste officiel fait par une personnalité pour accueillir un autre officiel.
En France, nous ne faisons pas d'accolades, nous serrrons une bonne 
/ chaleureuse/vigoureuse/amicale/poignée de main.


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## Icetrance

rachlapro said:


> I live in Paris, and the French do hug
> 
> "Fais-moi un *calin*!" = "Give me a hug!"


 
Yes, they do, but you have to be careful with this one. It's used a lot with children and between close friends.


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## Franglais1969

Please also note it is *câlin. *


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## BEEKEEPER

Icetrance said:


> Yes, they do, but you have to be careful with this one. It's used a lot with children and between close friends.


Jamais je n'ai vu des amis se prendre dans les bras, fussent-ils proches.


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## itka

I'm wondering... who would you hug, for instance ? (you = english-speakers).
Children probably, the people you're in love with, and then ... ?

It's very difficult to translate it without knowing who you're addressing when you say : "Give me a hug !"... I can't imagine to whom you could ask such a thing...nor can I imagine what you're really asking for... Just a gesture ? A kiss ? A feeling ? Or what ?


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## Franglais1969

itka said:


> I'm wondering... who would you hug, for instance ? (you = english-speakers).
> Children probably, the people you're in love with, and then ... ?
> 
> It's very difficult to translate it without knowing who you're addressing when you say : "Give me a hug !"... I can't imagine to whom you could ask such a thing...nor can I imagine what you're really asking for... Just a gesture ? A kiss ? A feeling ? Or what ?



It is my experience that North Americans are a tactile nation, and are always hugging. It does happen in the UK, usually between females, but nowhere near the extent that our friends across the pond do!


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## Icetrance

BEEKEEPER said:


> Etreindre a des connotation amoureuses.
> Prendre dans ses bras est plus qu'une marque d'amitié.
> Faire une accolade semble un geste officiel fait par une personnalité pour accueillir un autre officiel.
> En France, nous ne faisons pas d'accolades, nous serrrons une bonne
> / chaleureuse/vigoureuse/amicale/poignée de main.


 
You may be right in general terms. But I know I've heard in a religious context (e.g.,  _"Dieu m'a étreint")_


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## Icetrance

BEEKEEPER said:


> Jamais je n'ai vu des amis se prendre dans les bras, fussent-ils proches.


 
Que voulez-vous dire exactement? Peut-être qu'on se comprend très mal.

Une fille dit à une autre fille, "Je te fais pitié. Je te fais un câlin."  Quand j'ai dit "close friends", je ne voulais pas dire "deux hommes/jeunes garçons."


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## willemijns

BEEKEEPER said:


> Jamais je n'ai vu des amis se prendre dans les bras, fussent-ils proches.



cela se fait que dans des cas extrèmes tragiques ou heureux (naissance, mariage,dècès..., les hommes politiques lors des grandes réceptions en font bien plus que "le francais moyen"


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## Icetrance

itka said:


> I'm wondering... who would you hug, for instance ? (you = english-speakers).
> Children probably, the people you're in love with, and then ... ?
> 
> It's very difficult to translate it without knowing who you're addressing when you say : "Give me a hug !"... I can't imagine to whom you could ask such a thing...nor can I imagine what you're really asking for... Just a gesture ? A kiss ? A feeling ? Or what ?


 

"Give me a hug" would be said in the following situations and is VERY common in the US and Canada:

A female is consoling another boy or girl/man or woman
To a little kid/your child
Between two men? Not common, but could be said in certain situations (grandfather to grandson/father to son/two very close male friends?)


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## Icetrance

willemijns said:


> cela se fait que dans des cas extrèmes tragiques ou heureux (naissance, mariage,dècès..., les hommes politiques lors des grandes réceptions en font bien plus que "le francais moyen"


 
Une jeune fille qui en console une autre. 

Au Québec, les choses seraient bien différentes.

French people don't hug like North Americans. They kiss on the cheek. We don't kiss people, only those we love dearly (mother, father, siblings, grandparents, lover, a close friend?). 

However, though, some men hug other men more often than they used to. Things are slightly different nowadays. Normally, you just shake another man's hand.

Nous compliquons tous et toutes ce sujet. Ce n'est pas si compliqué que ça.


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## jon_ess

itka said:


> I'm wondering... who would you hug, for instance ? (you = english-speakers).
> Children probably, the people you're in love with, and then ... ?
> 
> It's very difficult to translate it without knowing who you're addressing when you say : "Give me a hug !"... I can't imagine to whom you could ask such a thing...nor can I imagine what you're really asking for... Just a gesture ? A kiss ? A feeling ? Or what ?


 
I live in Texas, and down here we tend to give hugs as a way of greeting people and/or saying goodbye; generally, we hug family members and friends especially if we haven't seen one another for a long time.  It's also more prevalent among university students.  Please note that although we hug friends who are not necessarily really close friends, we do not ever hug people we meet for the first time; that's just weird.

If you would like more/better explanation just ask.


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## Icetrance

jon_ess said:


> I live in Texas, and down here we tend to give hugs as a way of greeting people and/or saying goodbye; generally, we hug family members and friends especially if we haven't seen one another for a long time. It's also more prevalent among university students. Please note that although we hug friends who are not necessarily really close friends, we do not ever hug people we meet for the first time; that's just weird.
> 
> If you would like more/better explanation just ask.


 
Good post! I agree. Yes, university students hug each other A LOT (and high schoolers do, too). Even university boys nowadays will do so at times (much less often, but it does happen). 

I know in France I've seen unversity students do this, too, and say "fais-moi un câlin" (girl to boy, even if they aren't dating) When "faire un câlin" is used, it's only in specific contexts.


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## Micia93

I think you have to be careful with the expression : "faire un calin"
today, more and people use it, meaning "to have sex"


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## Keith Bradford

In my theatre group, when a man comes into the rehearsal room he shakes hands with all the other men there and gives all the women a kiss (or two) on the cheek. When a woman comes in, she kisses everyone on the cheek.

Kissing is also very common between people who have never met before, if the relationship is quasi-family. I.e. I go to visit someone whom I normally kiss, their daughter-in-law is there, she will expect a kiss - _une bise_ or _un bisou_.

Among family and good friends the number of kisses rises to four. But this is Brittany, where we are reputed to be much more friendly than Parisians!

Now back to the question of hugging. "Fais-moi un câlin" is common here, meaning "I'm in need of a hug", "give me a cuddle".


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## Thomas Tompion

English men have taken, quite recently - in the last ten years or so, I'd say - to hugging. I live in France and on my return to the UK I find myself hugged by male friends I haven't seen for a long time. This may partly be precisely because we haven't seen each other for a long time, but also I'm convinced their habits have changed in the meantime.

One rather disagreeable consequence of the practice is that some men, while they feel the occasion demands a hug, do not actively relish the prospect; this means they do all they can to avoid cheek-to-cheek contact, turning away at the point of impact and leaving you to embrace a bit of dirty old raincoat or whatever.

I think I preferred the old restraint, in a lot of ways. The present practice is often rather comic, nevertheless.


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## itka

Thank you. By reading your posts I feel that the situation is not that different in France, specially regarding young people (but not only). 
They often hug and kiss each others  to say "good morning" or "good bye".

But, nobody *asks* "Fais-moi un câlin !" except from children talking to their mother or father, or between lovers and there it means "I want to have sex !". I can't imagine two girls or two boys (just friends) saying so. 
For older people (still friends) it is thouroughly funny !

People often hug but don't say "Fais-moi un câlin"...and I would advice not to use this word to translate "câlin". I'm afraid it's something else.
Ice you said 





> Une jeune fille qui en console une autre.


She *does* hug her friend, but that one never *says* "fais-moi un câlin".


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## Micia93

itka said:


> Thank you. By reading your posts I feel that the situation is not that different in France, specially regarding young people (but not only).
> They often hug and kiss each others to say "good morning" or "good bye".
> 
> But, nobody *asks* "Fais-moi un câlin !" except from children talking to their mother or father, or between lovers and there it means "I want to have sex !". I can't imagine two girls or two boys (just friends) saying so.
> For older people (still friends) it is thouroughly funny !
> 
> People often hug but don't say "Fais-moi un câlin"...and I would advice not to use this word to translate "câlin". I'm afraid it's something else.
> Ice you said
> She *does* hug her friend, but that one never *says* "fais-moi un câlin".


 
totally agree ! (see post 21)


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## Nicomon

Moi, si je veux une accolade (par exemple pour me faire consoler ou après une dure journée) je dis 
« serre-moi fort » (dans tes bras est sous-entendu). 

Si je dis à mon conjoint « je veux un câlin / fais-moi un câlin » ... je ne veux rien de plus qu'une étreinte.  Je crois - il se peut que je me trompe - que l'association câlin = sexe est plus commune en Europe.    

Pour câlin dans le sens de caresse, je dis « minouche ». 

Je me suis rappelé ce fil "gimme a hug", mais il y en a quelques autres :
http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=619151


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## ChrisPa

when you ear about this new fashion of people hugging strangers in the street as a gift ("free hugs"), it has been translated by "câlins" : journée du câlin..


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## Icetrance

itka said:


> Thank you. By reading your posts I feel that the situation is not that different in France, specially regarding young people (but not only).
> They often hug and kiss each others to say "good morning" or "good bye".
> 
> But, nobody *asks* "Fais-moi un câlin !" except from children talking to their mother or father, or between lovers and there it means "I want to have sex !". I can't imagine two girls or two boys (just friends) saying so.
> For older people (still friends) it is thouroughly funny !
> 
> People often hug but don't say "Fais-moi un câlin"...and I would advice not to use this word to translate "câlin". I'm afraid it's something else.
> Ice you said
> She *does* hug her friend, but that one never *says* "fais-moi un câlin".


 
I'm not going to argue with you on this. It does seem to have a sexual connotation when not used with children (plus j'y pense, moins je pense avoir raison). It all depends on context, though, as there is the "Journée du Câlin" (avec ça, il n'y a aucune connotation sexuelle).

C'est peut-être au Québec où je l'avais entendue employée entre filles. Là, je ne pense pas qu'il y ait une connotation sexuelle attachée à cette expression comme c'est le cas en Europe (au Québec, le sens étant tout simplement "give me a hug"). Je pense également que l'expression est même possible entre hommes, mais elle se dit bien moins souvent (gars universtaires étant plus large d'esprit, etc)

Nicomon, où es-tu? J'ai besoin de toi pour me clarifier les choses.


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## Carl75

Bonsoir,

En France, peut-être est-ce une attitude "latine", mais les hommes entres-eux s'embrassent (to kiss) en dehors de toute orientation sexuelle. C'est un geste d'amitié sans ambiguité. Il faut bien-sûr avoir des liens d'amitié. Cependant, je vois de plus en plus d'hommes politiques s'embrasser à la télévision. Pourtant, l'amitié et la politique...
Je pense que c'est une question de culture, au Royaume-Uni par exemple, comme aux Etats-Unis, le contact physique aussi proche est difficile à admettre. En Italie, en Espagne ou en France cela est plus naturel.
Voilà!


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## Icetrance

Carl75 said:


> Bonsoir,
> 
> En France, peut-être est-ce une attitude "latine", mais les hommes entres-eux s'embrassent (to kiss) en dehors de toute orientation sexuelle. C'est un geste d'amitié sans ambiguité. Il faut bien-sûr avoir des liens d'amitié. Cependant, je vois de plus en plus d'hommes politiques s'embrasser à la télévision. Pourtant, l'amitié et la politique...
> Je pense que c'est une question de culture, au Royaume-Uni par exemple, comme aux Etats-Unis, le contact physique aussi proche est difficile à admettre. En Italie, en Espagne ou en France cela est plus naturel.
> Voilà!


 
Un bon post, mais je dois dire que dans les pays slaviques, les hommes semblent s'embrasser comme dans les pays latins.

En Amérique du Nord, les seuls mâles qu'embrasseront les hommes sont normalement leurs fils, leurs pères, leurs frères, et leurs grand-pères (pas toujours je dois ajouter... ça varie de famille en famille). Les hommes embrassent presque toujours leurs petit garçons.

Cependant, dans les pays latins comme la France, le Portugal, etc, les hommes ne se serrent pas dans les bras aussi souvent (devient de plus en plus courant chez les garçons universitaires aux Etats-Unis)


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## Carl75

Hello Icetrance,

It's a cultural. My Dutch father in law never kissed me. Il n'embrassait pas ses enfants non plus. Je pensais que c'était étrange, mais bon on s'habitue...

Bye


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## toban

Icetrance said:


> En Amérique du Nord, les seuls mâles qu'embrasseront les hommes sont normalement leurs fils, leurs pères, leurs frères, et leurs grand-pères (pas toujours je dois ajouter... ça varie de famille en famille). Les hommes embrassent presque toujours leurs petit garçons.



I'm a western Canadian male. I have never kissed any male relatives. I may have kissed my mother on the cheek when I was little. With extended family (uncles/aunts), a hug is a much more common option. I'm referring here to a situation where each person pats the other's back with one or both hands, not necessarily a "bear hug" (where you squeeze the other person). 

Between friends, it's common in English Canada for girls to hug each other and for girls to hug guys. When I go out west for Christmas, I imagine it will be hugs all around when I see my friends again for the first time in months. When I hug a girl, I'm more likely to savour the moment for a few seconds (even when there are no romantic connotations). When I hug a guy, it's generally brief and accompanied by two or three pats or slaps on the back.

In Quebec, people don't seem to hug as much. Between two girls and between a girl and a guy, it's quite common to exchange a kiss on each cheek (or to kiss the air next to their cheeks). It is not common for two men to kiss each others' cheeks. 

My preference is to shake someone's hand (male or female) when I meet them for the first time or when it's in a professional context.


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## Mag38

Drôle de parallèle:
les premières fois que j'ai reçu "a hug", j'en ai été surprise et un peu gênée...
chaque fois que je fais "la bise" à mes amis néo zélandais, même proches, ce sont eux qui sont surpris et rougissent...
Ce qui est un geste intime pour certains semble simplement poli et amical aux autres... et vice-versa!

Pour la bise, le nombre varie inexplicablement d'une région à une autre! A ma connaissance, 2 en Rhône-Alpes, 3 de Valence à Montpellier, 4 à Paris... Allez savoir pourquoi!

Par contre, pour moi, la bise peut être distribuée à des connaissances même vagues, alors que le bisou sera réservé aux proches, les gros bisous aux intimes; quant aux bisous partout.......


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## Jan in California

When do adult Americans hug?  In expressions of extreme emotion, when words seem inadequate.  Of course, women hug women, women hug men, but men never hug men (Men pat each other on the back, do celebratory high-fives or fist-bumps; athletes do chest-bumps).

My mother passed away this week, and at the memorial ceremony, I hugged people I knew and I hugged people I met for the first time.  I hugged some because sometimes I felt so close to tears, I couldn't talk.  Or I hugged them because just shaking their hands seemed a little cold and remote for such an intimate and emotional occasion.  
1) I hugged a nurse that I knew saw my mom every day, yet I'd never met the nurse before.  I hugged her to thank her for her caring in more than just words.
2) I hugged people that I knew were there to sympathize with me for my loss.

And then, there were people I didn't hug at all:
Chinese friends of my mother who were very traditional Chinese.  Chinese people from China don't hug or kiss in public.  It's considered embarrassingly intimate.  I myself am Chinese-American (born in the US), so I feel and think like an "American".

When do French adults hug? (À part l'étreinte entre des amants)


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## itka

> When do French adults hug? (À part l'étreinte entre des amants)


I think it's difficult to answer because people act in various ways depending on their age, the place where they live, the social level they have...
Let's try :
Young people quite commonly hug and often kiss all the people they meet. My son's friends when they came home gave me kisses, though I never saw them before. Nowadays, you can often see two young men hugging and kissing eachother when they meet in the street. That's just a way to say hello between friends.
Older people are more reserved. 
Of course, we kiss our family when we meet. 
I seldom kiss my best friends. First I know they don't like it (neither me !) and then it has become such a common way of doing that I wouldn't like to do the same with the friends I really love. Except of course, if I didn't see them for a long time.
But... I'm bound to kiss the men and women that I often meet for playing cards, dancing, discussing... otherwise they would think I'm angry with them !
In an office, women usually kiss both men and women when arriving. Men don't kiss men. We never kiss nor hug a boss, except maybe to wish him/her a happy new year !
Men usually kiss very seldom other men even in the family (but it may depend of the origins and areas). They hug, as in your message, when somebody is died, or for New Year, or in special circumstances.
(And if you want to know how many kisses you have to give, look here.)

Not sure at all I rightly answered your question but it's a hard one.


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## BEEKEEPER

Icetrance said:


> Good post! I agree. Yes, university students hug each other A LOT (and high schoolers do, too). Even university boys nowadays will do so at times (much less often, but it does happen).
> 
> I know in France I've seen unversity students do this, too, and say "fais-moi un câlin" (girl to boy, even if they aren't dating)
> *When "faire un câlin" is used, it's only in specific contexts.*



Ca, je veux bien le croire!


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## Icetrance

toban said:


> I'm a western Canadian male. I have never kissed any male relatives. I may have kissed my mother on the cheek when I was little. With extended family (uncles/aunts), a hug is a much more common option. I'm referring here to a situation where each person pats the other's back with one or both hands, not necessarily a "bear hug" (where you squeeze the other person).


 
I agree with your post, too. It's the same here in Pennsylvania with male friends. Men shake hands with other men, pat them on the back, "sometimes" a quick hug (depends, though...it)

Here's what I was trying to say in my last post: Should a North American male kiss another male, it will only be his father, son, grandfather or brother. That said, most men will only kiss their _little_ boys (mine did, and I see other men doing it) It's not common for men to kiss their fathers, brothers or grandfathers at all. It does happen, but normally only in a circumstance where the father, grandfather, or brother is on his deathbed. Otherwise in tragic events, there will just be a tight, prolonged hug.


People don't kiss their friends on the lips in France very often. That's only for people you deeply love. That's how it is North America, too. As far as my relatives are concerned, I would only kiss my mother, sister, niece, grandmother on the lips (and on the cheeks, too). I would only kiss my father on the lips if he were very ill or dying.


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## itka

> That's how it is North America, too. As far as my relatives are concerned, I would only kiss my mother, sister, niece, grandmother on the lips (and on the cheeks, too). I would only kiss my father on the lips if he were very ill or dying.


Really ? You can kiss your mother/sister/...on the lips ?


> People don't kiss their friends on the lips in France _*very often*_. That's only for people you deeply love.


It never never happens in France!  I think it would be very shocking...but never in my life I saw such a thing...Man or woman, you can kiss only your lover on the lips. 
I'm nearly sure nobody, except a very young child, would kiss that way his/her mother or father, even if he/she is very ill or dying.


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## Icetrance

itka said:


> Really ? You can kiss your mother/sister/...on the lips ?
> 
> It never never happens in France!  I think it would be very shocking...but never in my life I saw such a thing...Man or woman, you can kiss only your lover on the lips.
> I'm nearly sure nobody, except a very young child, would kiss that way his/her mother or father, even if he/she is very ill or dying.


 
Oui, oui, oui, et oui...

Encore une fois, ce qui est considéré comme étant normal varie de famille en famille. Parfois les choses vont au-delà des différences culturelles. Bien sûr qu'il y a des gestes d'affection qui ne vont presque jamais arriver dans une certaine culture, mais embrasser sa mère sur les lèvres en tant qu'adulte n'est aucunement bizarre chez moi. Par contre, je sais qu'il y a des familles américaines qui ne feraient jamais une chose pareille.

Je ne peux pas imaginer une mère qui n'embrasserait pas son fils tout grandi s'il s'en allait pendant longtemps ou qu'elle était si fière de lui pour quelque raison que ce soit.

Rappelle-toi, itka, je n'embrassse pas normalement les membres de ma famille sur les joues. Si je leur fais un bisou, j'en plante un sur les lèvres. 

I do kiss my mother on the lips from time to time. Sometimes, my sister as well (but less). I can't speak for other families. But, it's not weird at all.
I used to kiss my grandmother on the lips from time to time (mais elle n'est plus). However, I would only kiss my father on the lips if he were on his deathbed or very ill, or if I were going away for a long, long time (c'est très rare si je le fais)

Also, my mother kissed her mother on the lips from time to time, too.

Embrasser sur les lèvres, c'est réservé à ma mère, ma sœur (un peu moins), ma grand-mère (moins) et finalement, mon père (très, très rare). J'embrasse ma petite nièce sur les lèvres, mais voilà, elle n'est que toute petite. Bien sûr qu'on embrasse son amant...c'est bien entendu.  

À propos, moi et toute ma famille sommes tous des Américains à 100%. LOL. 

Ce n'est ni bien, ni mal...c'est juste comme ça.


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## toban

Icetrance said:


> Je ne peux pas imaginer une mère qui n'embrasserait pas son fils tout grandi s'il s'en allait pendant longtemps ou qu'elle était si fière de lui pour quelque raison que ce soit.



When I moved away from my parents (and my province of origin), my mom definitely did not kiss me on the lips. It would have been extremely bizarre if she had. We hugged, and she may have kissed me on the cheek.

Your culture (or family, at least) clearly has different customs from mine. I echo Itka's shock  at the thought of two people who are not lovers kissing on the lips - with the exception of small children kissing their relatives. It appears that that part is the same in France and in Canada. The big difference is the use of the kisses on the cheek in France (and Quebec), which is not common in English Canada. Its approximate equivalent, as explained fairly thoroughly in this thread, is the hug.


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## Mag38

_It never never happens in France!  I think it would be very *shocking*...but never in my life I saw such a thing...Man or woman, you can kiss only your lover on the lips._
Maybe I would have said "very, very surprising", but I agree... This I never saw and it would look weird to me!

_Ce n'est ni bien, ni mal...c'est juste comme ça._
I agree too!... Habits that are not part of my (own, small, limited) culture are not necessarelly bad!

By the way, Maori people greet relatives and close friends they have not seen for a while by bendind towards each other till their foreheads touch, kind of spirits in contact... This is not something I would do naturally at all, but I think it is wonderful!


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## Nicomon

itka said:


> Your culture (or family, at least) clearly has different customs from mine. I echo Itka's shock  at the thought of two people who are not lovers kissing on the lips - with the exception of small children kissing their relatives.


And I echo your echo. I'm shocked at that thought too.  I'd say... different family customs. I doubt that it is cultural.


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## sfderderian

I just spent yesterday watching (American) football, and I noticed that all over the country we do hug each other. However, the way we hug each other is very telling. Usually, among men the hugger(?) will put his left arm around the huggee(?)and with the right hand give a quick, light pat to the huggee's left shoulder. Sometimes more than one pat if they are close friends, or it's an highly charged situation. And even sometines instead of the shoulder pat they will shake hands. Usually two-armed hugs are reserved for very close friends, family. And if this kind of hug is not returned in kind, it can induce all sorts of awkward feelings and embarrassment. Perhaps it's akin to how many cheeks the French kiss?


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## Jan in California

I, too, (Chinese-American female who considers herself more American than Chinese), would never kiss anyone on the lips other than my sexual partner (boyfriend, husband).  I have never seen other Americans kiss family members on the lips either!


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## frenchspanish

I'd say câlin translates more as a _cuddle_ than a hug, hence why its approprite for children and not for grown men celebrating a sporting victory! 

Big difference that, cuddle vs hug


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## BEEKEEPER

Icetrance said:


> Good post! I agree. Yes, university students hug each other A LOT (and high schoolers do, too). Even university boys nowadays will do so at times (much less often, but it does happen).
> 
> I know in France I've seen unversity students do this, too, and say "fais-moi un câlin" (girl to boy, even if they aren't dating) When "*faire un câlin" is used, it's only in specific contexts.*


 Je confirme, dans un contexte très très spécifique.


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## Icetrance

Nicomon said:


> And I echo your echo. I'm shocked at that thought too.  I'd say... different family customs. *I doubt that it is cultural*.


 
Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec toi!

Yes, it's not an American thing at all. 



Jan in California said:


> I, too, (Chinese-American female who considers herself more American than Chinese), would never kiss anyone on the lips other than my sexual partner (boyfriend, husband). I have never seen other Americans kiss family members on the lips either!


 
It all depends on the family. It's not a cultural thing. It just happens in some families. You may not even be aware of it because sometimes very affectionate moments between mother/adult child don't take place in front of others.

When my grandfather died, my mother kissed him on the lips in his casket. It was just "normal." She always kissed her mother and father on the lips. Ça n'avait rien de bizarre ni pour sa famille. La famille de mon père n'embrasse pas du tout.

Very interesting thread, this!!!


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## je-ne-regrette-rien

Franglais1969 said:


> It is my experience that North Americans are a tactile nation, and are always hugging. It does happen in the UK, usually between females, but nowhere near the extent that our friends across the pond do!


 
It really depends...personally, I only hug my female friends for consolation/congratulation, but there are very 'touchy-feely' girls at high school and university who would hug everyone, everyday! In Britain, if you saw two men hugging, you might deduce that they are gay, unless it was at an airport etc, and they hadn't seen each other for a long while. As for male-female hugs - only lovers and good friends of 25 years+. If you saw a boy and girl at high school hugging, they'd probably be going out. People (non-lovers) here do kiss each other on the lips (mothers-daughters, usually), but only till about 8 years old or so. It'd be a bit very weird for anyone my age.


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## frenchspanish

je-ne-regrette-rien said:


> As for male-female hugs - only lovers and good friends of 25 years+. If you saw a boy and girl at high school hugging, they'd probably be going out.


 
I disagree. When I go home for the holidays and see good friends that are guys, I always hug them. Same when I get back to uni after spending the holidays at home. This is from the perspective of a 20 year old university student (girl). It's very normal. In Manchester at least


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## Keith Bradford

In conclusion... you make your own rules.

I think it would take a large-scale sociological survey to bottom this one.  I know that it has been done (Scientific American ???) for the related question of what part of another person's body you touch. Explained in Desmond Morris's "Manwatching".


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## Cath.S.

Are we in the French-English section? Oh good, I thought I'd made a mistake.

En français, on peut aussi _sauter au cou_ des gens.
Je ne pense pas que cette traduction ait été suggérée, et elle pourrait marcher dans certains contextes :
_Élisa, Élisa, Élisa saute-moi au cou..._


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## Karen Van Arsdale

I'm a university student, and I completely agree that we hug frequently. I hug all of my friends every time we see each other as a greeting, both male and female. There is nothing sexual about it. I however would rarely hug someone I had only met a few times and I would never hug someone the first time I meet them. In addition, my male friends also hug each other and it is not considered weird. I would find it rude if one of my friends did not hug me. 

I have to ask though, when a french man says that he wants to hug a girl, does that imply something special? I have a male friend from France who seems to say it in a romantic context, and it seems odd to me since it is not a romantic gesture in the States. Help?


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## Icetrance

Karen Van Arsdale said:


> I'm a university student, and I completely agree that we hug frequently. I hug all of my friends every time we see each other as a greeting, both male and female. There is nothing sexual about it. I however would rarely hug someone I had only met a few times and I would never hug someone the first time I meet them. In addition, my male friends also hug each other and it is not considered weird. I would find it rude if one of my friends did not hug me.
> 
> I have to ask though, when a french man says that he wants to hug a girl, does that imply something special? I have a male friend from France who seems to say it in a romantic context, and it seems odd to me since it is not a romantic gesture in the States. Help?


 
I know, that in North America, high school and university students hug each other a lot. Not sure if the French kids do this as well. Adults over 30 never seemed to hug when I was in France. Hugging is more reserved for those you "love love" (mother, brother, lover, etc). 

University and urban men sometimes hug each other nowadays in the US. But still in more rural areas hugs are not that common between men (maybe your father, brother,...)

There was a thread a while back about "kissing" loved ones on the lips, and not just lovers (well, the thread seemed to turn into that). We pretty much concluded that it went beyond cultural norms sometimes; it all depended on the particular family.


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