# answer to 几位？ in a restaurant



## yuechu

Hello/大家好，

I have a question about the answer to the question "几位". When I enter into a Chinese restaurant, the waitress/waiter usually asks "几位?". I have always answered "两位" or "三位", etc., but am now questioning whether it is what Chinese people usually answer.
According to kareno999 in a different thread "Strictly speaking, 位 is a respectful measure word that's usually used on others.". Would this apply to this situation as well?
Would "我们是三个人" be a better answer? (in terms of structure/how natural it sounds?)

Thanks/谢谢！


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## viajero_canjeado

兩位、三位 are fine. 兩個人、三個人 are fine too. I think kareno999 also pointed out that the subtleties formerly attached to that measure word are no longer observed by most speakers in everyday situations.

Since the host/hostess already asked 幾位, it seems to come out more naturally using the same measure word in response, in my humble opinion~


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## yuechu

Thanks for your reply, viajero_canjeado!


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## kareno999

viajero_canjeado said:


> 兩位、三位 are fine. 兩個人、三個人 are fine too. I think kareno999 also pointed out that the subtleties formerly attached to that measure word are no longer observed by most speakers in everyday situations.
> 
> Since the host/hostess already asked 幾位, it seems to come out more naturally using the same measure word in response, in my humble opinion~



There is a reason that hosts/hostesses only ask "先生您几位" but never “你们几个人”.
I always reply 两个人／三个人. Unfortunately most people don't seem to realize it's grammatically incorrect to reply "三位". 
Financial Times (Chinese) once published a paper discussing how to properly address people in Chinese and the author mentioned this phenomenon too. 



> “您几位啊？”“我们两位。”回答者混淆尊称与谦称，喜好自己尊称自己，这也是近些年才有的脾气。


http://www.ftchinese.com/story/001037093/


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## viajero_canjeado

kareno999 said:


> Unfortunately most people don't seem to realize it's grammatically incorrect to reply "三位".



It's quite likely that 三位 might not match certain people's ideas of propriety, however that doesn't make it "grammatically incorrect." No one seems to split hairs like that over 位 in Taiwan at least, though perhaps it happens more frequently in Mainland China.

In any case, when a linguistic tendency can be described as something "most people" do or don't do, then the question of whether or not it's incorrect becomes debatable, and probably just boils down to a matter of preference. Language is, after all, constantly changing.

祝好


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## yuechu

I think kareno999 meant that it is not traditionally proper to say it that way.

You must be right, kareno999, because I've noticed friends' reactions sometimes when I've said "两位/三位" in the past as if it were not the right reply (but they ended up saying it was OK in the end).

I think I'll stick with the traditionally correct response. (it reminds me of how one does not write a title in front of one's own name (but does so when addressing others). ex: Mr. John Smith, etc.)

Thank you both for your answers!


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## viajero_canjeado

Definitely a safe way to go about it! I'm sure your listeners will appreciate you putting the extra thought into it~


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## bubokribuck

In a restaurant, it's most common to ask AND answer with the word "位" instead of "個". Because in this case, "位" is not only related to the number of people, but is also related to the number of seats (座位), that's why when the host asks "幾位", the customers will answer back "3位" not "3個人".​


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## BODYholic

kareno999 said:


> There is a reason that hosts/hostesses only ask "先生您几位" but never “你们几个人”.
> I always reply 两个人／三个人. Unfortunately most people don't seem to realize it's grammatically incorrect to reply "三位".
> Financial Times (Chinese) once published a paper discussing how to properly address people in Chinese and the author mentioned this phenomenon too.
> 
> “您几位啊？”“我们两位。”回答者混淆尊称与谦称，喜好自己尊称自己，这也是近些年才有的脾气。
> 
> http://www.ftchinese.com/story/001037093/



那种见解，一般在没有金钱交易的情境下才能成立。

在餐馆用餐，因为金钱交易而存在着主仆关系。所以，以“位”自居，并不为过。再来，如果是和朋友/长辈聚餐的话，那就绝对不可以“个”来论人数。你把自己贬低并无所谓，但也不该把同桌用餐的朋友/长辈给拉下来吧？

我们这种华人礼仪，用在亲戚互访时最恰当不过了。你在拜访时，对方一定会以“位”来询问。而我方在答问时，用“个”来回话是礼貌是修养。


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## xiaolijie

BODYholic said:


> 在餐馆用餐，因为金钱交易而存在着主仆关系。所以，以“位”自居，并不为过。再来，如果是和朋友/长辈聚餐的话，那就绝对不可以“个”来论人数。你把自己贬低并无所谓，但也不该把同桌用餐的朋友/长辈给拉下来吧？


说得有道理！


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## yuechu

@BODYholic

Thanks for your reply! I wish I had a better grasp of Chinese right now!

I understood some parts of your reply, but not all of it unfortunately.

"那种见解，一般在没有金钱交易的情境下才能成立。" --> Does this mean that the "位 for others/个 for oneself" distinction is usually only made outside of a business context? ('business' being used in a broad sense)

"在餐馆用餐，因为金钱交易而存在着主仆关系。所以，以“位”自居，并不为过。再来，如果是和朋友/长辈聚餐的话，那就绝对不可以“个”来论人数。你把自己贬低并无所谓，但也不该把同桌用餐的朋友/长辈给拉下来吧？

我们这种华人礼仪，用在亲戚互访时最恰当不过了。你在拜访时，对方一定会以“位”来询问。而我方在答问时，用“个”来回话是礼貌是修养。"
--> Were you saying that because there is a "master/servant relationship" (or service-rendering/service-receiving, whatever one wants to call it) involved when a host/hostess/waiter/waitress addresses their customers, it makes the "位-respect" more important... oh and do you mean that it is therefore OK for the customers to refer to themselves as 位, or was it the opposite?

(Sorry about my poor comprehension!)


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## YangMuye

I think when the waiter asks “几位？”, it ok to reply “~位。”.

When waiters use third-person instead second-person to show respect (because they don't dare to directly talk about you), and you simply use third-person to reply casually.

I don't think it's the business context that makes the sentence acceptable.

The structure of this sentence is more like “我们。(一共是)两位。”. The speaker hasn't fully changed his narrative voice from third-person to first-person.
The reason might be:
1) It is a very short and casual reply, like a gap-fill question. The speaker just fills the answer in without caring about organizing a whole sentence.
2) He has to recall the answer from memory, or even to count to know the answer, which efface the feeling of “I am the subject”.
“两位” is more natural than “我们两位” to me. But I used to say “(就)两个”.

“昨天*我和*教授两位一起*去*外面吃饭” sounds extremely weird to me.
But “进了餐厅，才*发现*里面只有我们两位是男的” is much better than the first one.
I think 位 is more likely to work at the object's position rather than the subject's position.


Besides, “们” sometimes actually works like third-person pronouns in Chinese. For example, 我们 and 你们 sounds more polite than 我 and 你 in many situations.


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## kareno999

YangMuye said:


> [...]“昨天*我和两位*教授一起*去*外面吃饭”


 sounds perfect. 


> But “进了餐厅，才*发现*里面只有我们两位是男的” is much better than the first one.


What would you say "进了餐厅，才*发现*里面只有我们两位是男的" or "进了餐厅，才*发现*里面只有我们两个是男的"?
我们两位 sounds rude and uneducated.  

Convoluted grammatical analysis is of little help here. A more convincing argument would be the consensus of well respected linguists and writers, or an authority like the French Academy. I believe what's really causing the insensitivity to the usage like 我们两位 is the fading of traditional values and the insufficiency of Chinese education.



BODYholic said:


> 那种见解，一般在没有金钱交易的情境下才能成立。
> 
> 在餐馆用餐，因为金钱交易而存在着主仆关系。所以，以“位”自居，并不为过。再来，如果是和朋友/长辈聚餐的话，那就绝对不可以“个”来论人数。你把自己贬低并无所谓，但也不该把同桌用餐的朋友/长辈给拉下来吧？
> 
> 我们这种华人礼仪，用在亲戚互访时最恰当不过了。你在拜访时，对方一定会以“位”来询问。而我方在答问时，用“个”来回话是礼貌是修养。


First, there is *NO* 主仆关系 in a restaurant, but service consumption. You are equal to the host/hostess as a human being and using a polite language is a basic virtue. Second, you are speaking to someone outside of your dinner group and proper Chinese culture requires you to show modesty for your whole group. You can still use 位 to refer to your guests in front of the waiter or waitress, but in that case, you should always be excluded. E.g., 请给这两位先生倒点茶。Another situation where it is okay to refer to yourself using 位 is when you are arguing with the restaurant or trying to complain.


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## BODYholic

baosheng said:


> 我们这种华人礼仪，用在亲戚互访时最恰当不过了。你在拜访时，对方一定会以“位”来询问。而我方在答问时，用“个”来回话是礼貌是修养。"
> --> Were you saying that because there is a "master/servant relationship" (or service-rendering/service-receiving, whatever one wants to call it) involved when a host/hostess/waiter/waitress addresses their customers, it makes the "位-respect" more important... oh and do you mean that it is therefore OK for the customers to refer to themselves as 位, or was it the opposite?



When I'm on a receiving end of a paid service, I find it natural to use "位" to address oneself (be it alone or collectively). The greetings can be perceived as part of their jobs. Like it or not, accepting the salutation is a gesture acknowledging the given good service(s). I find it rather awkward to "right" the salutation or their choice of words in this context.

I also gave a scenario where there's no monetary transaction involves in my second example. The glorified salutation is often meted out in goodwill and out of proportion, at times. It is therefore considered polite not to accept it upfront or ... at all.

As for "主仆关系", please do not take it at its face value. Unless one extrapolates it, rest assured that it is not my intention to incite anything slavery/inhumane, BDSM or the like. 

Perhaps it's also important to note that while "位" is a polite word, "个", when used as a measure word for people, should *not* be taken as rude! In most instances, "个" is neutral. Or it may also be casual, coarse or unrefined depending on who you are referring to.


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## heynow

BODYholic said:


> Perhaps it's also important to note that while "位" is a polite word, "个", when used as a measure word for people, should *not* be taken as rude! In most instances, "个" is neutral. Or it may also be casual, coarse or unrefined depending on who you are referring to.



Agreed. "一位小姐" means "a lady", but "一个小姐" people may think "a prostitute".


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## KatieHa

heynow said:


> Agreed. "一位小姐" means "a lady", but "一个小姐" people may think "a prostitute".



Well, "一个小姐" 理解為 "a prostitute" 因為 "小姐" 是較為文雅的詞，我們正常會與較為文雅的"位"一起使用，所以用"个"的時候，就含有想貶低這位女士的意味。


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## xiaolijie

So we've got some good understanding when to use 个 and when to use 位. 
What about 名 such as 一名学员? I know that 名 is a polite measure word, but is it more polite than 位? Can you use it to refer to yourself such as when you introduce youself formally: "我的名字是 XY，BC班的一名学员" ?


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## MèngDié

xiaolijie said:


> 我的名字是 XY，BC班的一名学员



To me, 名just sounds more formal, and not usually used in daily conversation. In terms of politeness, I think it's neutral. 
我是一名骄傲的少先队员，沐浴在党的阳光下。
徐志摩是新月社的一名主要成员。
在喧嚣的上海滩上，张爱玲是一名曾经红极一时的才女。
难道还看不出来？ 我是一名地地道道的文学青年。


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## gary17

I would say 我的名字是 XY，我是BC班的學生
1.It's better to restate 我 in the sentence.
2.Using a measurement is redundant, because you are clearly "one person."


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## doogood

回答自称“X位”没问题，符合绝大多数中国人的习惯回答，与尊称和谦称无关，也与脾气无关。
其实这里问“位”是多解的，当你理解成“你要几个座位”，就不会觉得脾气了。


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## SuperXW

gary17 said:


> I would say 我的名字是 XY，我是BC班的學生
> 1.It's better to restate 我 in the sentence.
> 2.Using a measurement is redundant, because you are clearly "one person."


Agreed.
我的名字是 XY，BC班的一名学员。 sounds like you're composing seriously. A long structure like this is definitely written language.


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## xiaolijie

SuperXW said:


> Agreed.
> 我的名字是 XY，BC班的一名学员。 sounds like you're composing seriously. A long structure like this is definitely written language.


You're right SuperXW, this is a formal letter written to someone about BC班, and the writer was trying to identify his connection with BC班. The use the measure word 一名 is therefore both necessary and appropriate, isn't it?


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## chinahome

If there are two, 两位/两个 both are OK. Basically, use 个 is better when you want to be modest。 Here you and the waitress/waiter are equal. So it doesn't matter. They tend to use 位 to show respect. After all, customers like to be respected.


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## gary17

Now that it's a formal letter, I would say,"我是XY，目前就讀於BC班"
You might say "I'm Tom, son of Mary" in English, but in Chinese we would say "I'm Tom, I'm son of Mary"


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## SuperXW

xiaolijie said:


> You're right SuperXW, this is a formal letter written to someone about BC班, and the writer was trying to identify his connection with BC班. The use the measure word 一名 is therefore both necessary and appropriate, isn't it?



It's good for a letter (or maybe a story) in which you want to put much emotion. Otherwise you won't add redundant words like 名字, 一名 in the introduction part.


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