# 太见外了



## Yingmei

大家好！！

I wonder what is the meaning of "太见外了". I heard this while watching a soap on TV. One guest came to see her boyfriend's family and brought with her a little gift. Here is the conversation:

A. - 看， 雅子带来的， 日本酒， 还有一个果蓝。
B. - 哎哟哟！看你， 来就来吧，都是自己人， 还那么破费干吗？太见外了。

A. - Look what Yazi brought, Japanese sake and a basket of fruits
B. - Aïe youuu! Only yourself brought all that, but why did you spend so much? "You treat us too much like outsiders" ???

I don't quite understand the meaning of the last sentence. I guess it suppose to be polite, but in my dictionnary, it seems that the meaning of 见外 is rather negative... So how should I use the expression?

Thanks for your help


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## humvee

Bonjour Yingmei
太见外了 "You treat us too much like outsiders" is a correct translation, literally.
There's no exact equivalent in English for this colloquial phrase.
The best one I can offer is "It's very kind of you (to buy me this gift)."


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## bighead+

我替你查了一下:
不当自己人看待。 晋  干宝 《搜神记》卷七：“ 范 见便叙寒温，乃屈 楚宾  ：‘愿过敝舍，无见外也。’”《水浒传》第二四回：“那妇人连声叫道：‘叔叔却怎地这般见外， 自家的骨肉，又不伏侍了别人。’” 周而复 《上海的早晨》第一部九：“已经收下了，东西也不 多，又是给 巧珠 的，退回去，反而见外了。”


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## echo_zkl

Yingmei, your understanding is basically correct, except it means soooooooo polite that you made the host feel uncomfortable, or feel alienated. 

Generally your example provided is the exactly kind of context in which you would use this phrase, as far as I know. But I should point it out that the host is not actually blaming her. This phrase is just another meaningless crap showing politeness as a host.

Probably here is one more example:
（女主人招待客人）：不要见外啊，随便吃！


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## humvee

Poster above is right on. Don't overinterpret this fossilized expression, or "cliche" if you like.
Try to think of this analogy, "What a sunny day" could be a way of saying hello to a friend. But to make sense of the connection among/between weather and greeting doesn't help clarify the meaning. In German, Haben Schwine, literally "have a pig", means good luck to you.


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## BorisDtt

Yingmei said:


> 大家好！！
> 
> I wonder what is the meaning of "太见外了". I heard this while watching a soap on TV. One guest came to see her boyfriend's family and brought with her a little gift. Here is the conversation:
> 
> A. - 看， 雅子带来的， 日本酒， 还有一个果蓝。
> B. - 哎哟哟！看你， 来就来吧，都是自己人， 还那么破费干吗？太见外了。
> 
> A. - Look what Yazi brought, Japanese sake and a basket of fruits
> B. - Aïe youuu! Only yourself brought all that, but why did you spend so much? "You treat us too much like outsiders" ???
> 
> I don't quite understand the meaning of the last sentence. I guess it suppose to be polite, but in my dictionnary, it seems that the meaning of 见外 is rather negative... So how should I use the expression?
> 
> Thanks for your help



见外 normally describes the way that a person act/speak is so formal in order to show his decency and respect.


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## humvee

Yingmei. 
Here might be a better explanation to you. 
Try to associate this inside/ouside or interior/exterior with vous/tu given that your mother tongue is francais. So far so good, we could rewrite:

Aïe youuu! Only yourself brought all that, but why did you spend so much? I feel that you call me by "tu". 
I know there's a verb form for "call me by tu" in francais but I forget 
Does this make sense?


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## indigoduck

humvee said:


> Yingmei.
> Here might be a better explanation to you.
> Try to associate this inside/ouside or interior/exterior with vous/tu given that your mother tongue is francais. So far so good, we could rewrite:
> 
> Aïe youuu! Only yourself brought all that, but why did you spend so much? I feel that you call me by "tu".
> I know there's a verb form for "call me by tu" in francais but I forget
> Does this make sense?


 
Good analogy.

Vousvoyer vs. Tutoyer

In other words: *太见外了*！ literally means "why are you still treating me like a stranger and showering me with so much gifts"

The equivalent in english is "Aww... shucks, you shouldn't have"

It's a 客套话 (expression to show humility) and sometimes as an observer, you'd think it were part of a script. (in some cases, deep down, the person is saying "thanks ! i'm glad you gave me all this stuff")


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## humvee

haha, indigo, you are having an advantage over me of mastering French by living in Canada.


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## indigoduck

humvee said:


> haha, indigo, you are having an advantage over me of mastering French by living in Canada.


 
Who said i mastered french 

Google mastered french, i'm just the apprentice


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## humvee

indigoduck said:


> Who said i mastered french
> 
> Google mastered french, i'm just the apprentice


 
Not in Quebec quarter, right?


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## indigoduck

humvee said:


> Not in Quebec quarter, right?


 
Used to be, long ago...


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## viajero_canjeado

"[Really,] you shouldn't have" fits just right. The "aww, shucks" part could ring a bit bucolic or old-fashioned to some, though. Unless you say it jokingly, then use it all you wish. Until it gets old. Then stop.

Humvee, you mean "Schwein haben", I think.

Courage, Yingmei!


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## philosophia85

I think the English translation in this situation is "You are too kind."  This phrase seems almost like a cliché to me.  Just a thought.


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## Chinoise

Or the equivalent of "you shouldn't have!"

Not that you are really saying or blaming her that she shouldn't have brought the gifts, but you are actually saying "you shouldn't have" as being polite.

Same thing as how "太见外了！" is being used.


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