# in the spotlight in the supermarket



## Joca

I suppose many of you do most or some of your shopping in supermarkets these days. Often you have to stand in a queue at the cashier. When you put the goods on the track, people who are behind you can see what you are buying. Some people even stare. It seems that you are being judged by the items you are buying. For instance, if you are buying junk food, they may think you are ill-informed; if you are buying organic food, they will think you are a fanatic or something. If you buy imported items, they may think you are a snob or a new-rich (nouveau riche). Etc. Does this annoy you? Do you think it really happens? Or maybe you don’t worry about that? Do you also feel tempted to judge other people from the things they buy in supermarkets?


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## Vagabond

It doesn't bother me, mainly because I couldn't care less what a random stranger who sticks his/her nose where they shouldn't thinks of me.


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## vachecow

Joca said:


> Do you think it really happens?


People probably do do that, but it shouldn't bother you because if someone were to think something about you based on one purchase, then you probably dont want to talk to them anyway.


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## .   1

The judgemental will always judge the judgable.
Any assumption based on such evidence would be flimsy indeed and who cares about the opinion of a total stranger.

.,,


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## maxiogee

A)


Joca said:


> It seems that you are being judged by the items you are buying.


I think I would have difficulty in guessing what people behind me thought of my purchases.....

B)


Joca said:


> Do you also feel tempted to judge other people from the things they buy in supermarkets?


..... unless I had already thought similar thoughts about others. I wonder, Joca, if you only think that they are having these thoughts because you have them yourself?

I don't make suppositions about people's lifestyles based on what they buy.
What I do do is to wonder why they are buying 6 packets of X, when it is a rare purchase for many people.


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## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> I can't be the only one who looks on in disbelief!


Sometimes I avert my eyes, and at other times wish I could avert my ears.

.,,


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## srta chicken

I like to look on to see what others are buying, because if someone is buying something I want to try, I'll ask them to describe it, so I know if it's worth the splurge.

Other than that, who cares? Especially if you're a chocolate fan, you know it's sometimes more expedient to satisfy cravings than to resist (so that you don't snap at your family or co-workers), so why would you pass judgement on someone for doing the same thing you do from time to time?

The one occasion I did hear someone make a negative comment was when someone on food stamps bought junk food. After they left, someone behind me said, "I can't believe they're feeding their family that junk..Don't they know any better?"


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## jinti

A few times, I've had people ask me what I'm making because they're intrigued by the ingredients.  It doesn't bother me -- I tell them and sometimes they give me good recipe ideas in return.  And sometimes they're disappointed to find out my purchases aren't going into the same meal after all.


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## ElaineG

I often look at other people's stuff, make up little stories about them in my head -- all probably wrong [[based on what they're buying, and generally do what I can to make the time standing on line pass more pleasantly for myself.  Since I live in a city of 8 million people, I will never see them, nor they me, again, so I figure any harm is minimal.

If someone has bought something intriguing, I might ask "have you had that cheese before? Is it good?"  and we may chat.

I must say that I don't feel the same way about the pharmacy, and try to leave several feet between the counter and me if I am waiting in line to be served.  Not everyone observes this policy, and just yesterday a teenage boy looked over my shoulder and inquired about a particular medicine, "What is that for?", which struck me as the height of _maleducazione_.  But I suppose he was just curious.


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## .   1

srta chicken said:


> After they left, someone behind me said, "I can't believe they're feeding their family that junk..Don't they know any better?"


The reason that they are reduced to food stamps may be because they don't know any better.

.,,


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## Joelline

I admit that I do look at other people's purchases, and sometimes, with pure envy!  I look at those bags of potato chips (crisps) and boxes of cookies, and sigh with pure, unadulterated longing!  There was a time when I, too, could eat those sorts of things without gaining an ounce, but that time is long past!  (I probably would have a different reaction if the purchaser was obese, however.)

And, like jinti, I will sometimes ask others questions about intriguing purchases they have made.  I've picked up quite a few good tips this way.


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## danielfranco

Because I know people are going to be watching and making up their little stories and judgements about me, I often wait until I need to buy several items for adults only. I get my cart half-way full with wine and beer and condoms and massage oil and feminine hygiene products and bulbous legumes and fruits, and several cans of sprayable cheese and whipped cream. I then stand in line and keep looking furtively around while in line and laughing under my breath, as if I knew a secret...

So far, in twenty years doing this, no one has come up to ask me if any of the products in my cart is any good, or if I have tried something different before.

I wonder why...


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## cubaMania

hahahahahahahaha daniel.

Well, I do entertain myself in the supermarket line by observing what other people are buying, and then attempting to correlate it with what they look like (strong, weak, healthy, unhealthy, thin, fat, pimples, clear skin, etc.)  Of course, I would not say anything or even look askance at them, it is just for my own private amusement.  What else is there to do while in line?


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## badgrammar

Guilty.  I am guilty, totally guilty of checking out other peoples' purchases...  And making up little stories about why they're buying that.  Always intriguing,  The Massive Purchase of one or two items: 24 packages of bacon, 10 jars of quince jelly and 22 liters of bleach....  Another favorite, The Late Night Desperado:  1 box of hair dye, a six pack of beer, a Sara Lee coffee cake, Vogue magazine and a box of tampons (oh, wait!  That was me!).  Always thought-provoking, The Clean Machine (sometimes seen in combination with "Late Night Desperado"):  A new mop and broom, floor cleaner, sponges, scrubbing powder,Windex, etc...  You may also see The Sweet Tooth, The Case of the Munchies, The Resolved to Eat Better but Still got the Doughnuts...

ANd I will tend to make up stories to go along with this stuff.  

Daniel, I hadn't ever thought of the implication of the bulbous legumes and fruits, although I did once blush as a young man watched me with odd interest as I selected a cucumber.

I guess I'd chalk the curiosity up to human nature and the need to entertain oneself in the checkout line...


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## Etcetera

Joca said:


> Does this annoy you? Do you think it really happens? Or maybe you don’t worry about that? Do you also feel tempted to judge other people from the things they buy in supermarkets?


I don't bother. Why should I?
As for what other people buy, I don't bother either. It's their private matter what to buy and what to eat, and who am I to judge or giving them advice. 
But looling into other people's carts may do you some good. It happened several times that my fellow-customers reminded me of something I've forgotten to buy. Of course, they didn't know about it.


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## GEmatt

Joca said:


> Does this annoy you?


No. If anything, I think it's funny. Let people stare, if it makes them feel good, or if they have nothing better to do. No harm's done. I tend to place my shopping basket in one spot and go back and forth depositing items into it, instead of carrying around a progressively heavier basket, and it does amuse me to come back and find the occasional shopper calmly contemplating my groceries. Trying to judge a shopper by his/her shopping is one thing, but I don't know what these people are trying to divine from the contents of an isolated basket. I guess maybe they just forgot to buy something, and are trying to jog their memories...


> Do you also feel tempted to judge other people from the things they buy in supermarkets?


Well, I don't go to the supermarket to pass judgement. I go there to pick up what I need, and get out as fast as possible. I'll have a look at someone's cart if the contents are out of the ordinary (piled high with dog food, for example, or exclusively toilet paper), but my curiosity stops there.


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## danielfranco

Allow me to share what I used to do when I was a cheeky young angry man, back in my late teens: I would shop from other people's carts!
What could they possibly say? They hadn't paid the stuff yet. Still some sputtered and finally cussed at me, and once a lady had her husband push me down.

It still brings a smile to my face...

Of course, now that I have possessions and a bigger ego (and mortgage and bills and restless nights), I would be outraged if any skinny nerd would do the same thing to me. 
I suppose nowdays my nose is bigger, too, and I'm more often sticking it where it don't belong, like in other people's carts at the local grocery store.
I think what I'm trying to say is that as I get older and more conservative, I'm a lot more judgmental. When I was younger it was all fun and games...

Heck, I don't know what I mean...


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## maxiogee

A comedian on television recently was talking about a good joke to pull in a supermarket.
When you're having a big party and you go out to buy all the booze, go to a supermarket with an off-licence section. Stock your trolley with all the drink you need and a big bag of nappies. When the cashier is checking out your purchases keep looking at the total - with a nervous expression - and when she is almost finished, put the nappies back as if you can't afford them.
The other customers will give you the most evil looks possible.
His punchline was that they might even have a collection to pay for the nappies for you!


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## RIU

Hi, 

Usually I'm looking what are my children doing or entertaining they, but when I can do it I prefer "study" previous people and attempt to guess his/her purchase. That's only a stupid way to kill time.


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## geve

I am guilty of staring. But then that's just because sometimes, I stare at nothing, just to rest my eyes and look like I have some important thinking going on. And it happens that I suddenly realize that what I am staring at is precisely the twelve packs of condoms in the Obviously Single Man's cart, or the one bag of doughnuts in the Healthy Girl's cart. They probably think I am judgmental, when I'm just my dizzy self.


Badgrammar, your Clean Machine is my Just Moved In - which explains the beers and cake, too! 

And Daniel, this is not very nice from your part: how can people make up their own little stories if you sell out the whole plot so obviously?


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## badgrammar

And we're all just waiting to find out...  Joca, what about you?  I bet you're guilty of scoping out other people's carts!

And I forgot to answer the question, do I judge others on their purchases?  Well, not usually, as I know how odd my shopping lists can get.  But I am guilty of looking down on very heavy people who have a cart filled to the brim with junk food.  I shouldn't, because it's absolutely none of my business.  But I do.  Of course, I don't shoot them dirty looks and would never dream of making a comment, to them, or even to someone else once they are out of earshot.

Okay, Joca, your turn!


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## Joca

badgrammar said:


> And we're all just waiting to find out... Joca, what about you? I bet you're guilty of scoping out other people's carts!
> 
> And I forgot to answer the question, do I judge others on their purchases? Well, not usually, as I know how odd my shopping lists can get. But I am guilty of looking down on very heavy people who have a cart filled to the brim with junk food. I shouldn't, because it's absolutely none of my business. But I do. Of course, I don't shoot them dirty looks and would never dream of making a comment, to them, or even to someone else once they are out of earshot.
> 
> Okay, Joca, your turn!


 
So you are driving me to the "paredón" (the execution wall)!  

This is all right. I was really about to answer. I think Maxiogee was the first one to throw off my mask.  Yes, I do judge the others on their purchases as much as I know that I am also being judged. But of course I avoid staring and making any sort of comment. It is just an inner process, of course it doesn't last long and has no follow-up, maybe, as someone aptly said, it is only a kind of pasttime, a way to relieve the stress you are submitted to while you are in the supermarket. 

Yet, I find it a bitterer experience when you are in a self-service restaurant. In the supermarket nobody can be sure whether you are buying for yourself or someone else. But in the restaurant they will know for certain that it is you who is going to eat that kind of stuff. Isn't that too much of an exposition?

Anyway, as you can see, I am more worried by the possible judgement of other people (my own paranoia) than about the correctedness of my own judgements.

JC


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## Veggy

Supermarket are places I don't like very much therefore I tend to stay inside as little as possible. While I'm inside, I do not look particularily at other peoples trolleys first because I'm too busy reading the ingredients on the stuff I might buy (it is written so small that it takes a lot of time), secondly because it's none of my business. I am bothered if other people stare (not if they just look) at my purchases but I do not think about it too long because there is no way one can impeed other people to think or judge. It is true that fulled up trolleys drive my attention and the first thought is "did the radio announced a war coming soon? Why do people have to buy SO much?" But then who knows they might buy for someone else, friends maybe, they might live very far away or whatever. Judging is useless because we never really know the motives.


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## ayaram7700

Hello everybody,

I am also guilty of staring at people's carts, some things they buy are SO outrageous, lots of bacon, meat, cakes, whole milk, ... I am very much into healthy food, fat free, organic, I feel inclined to ask them to PLEASE not feed their children that kind of food. I actually want to ask them if they do or don't watch the news about  cholesterol and heart attacks or strokes, and mostly about what they have been calling "an epidemic of obesity" in the US.  I think I may  have given them a disapproving look. But actually, I think it's OK to take a look into other people's carts and feel good that you are buying healthy stuff and also all the money you save if you don't drink. I use to do that a lot, when I see carts brimming with beer and cigarettes and grease of all kinds; I say to myself: "Look, you are saving about $ 60 or $ 70 in liquor or smokes".

Anyway, you learn a lot about people by what they buy; one day I was checking out a nice looking guy  and when I saw his purchases, I got disappointed and decided I did not like him anymore:  TV dinners, tons of bacon, sausages, etc. There is no way I like a guy who does not buy cauliflowers, artichokes, lettuce, celery... etc. etc.

Nice thread, I hope they will not close it.

Saludos,

Ayaram7700


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## Benjy

ayaram7700 said:


> Anyway, you learn a lot about people by what they buy



I know that particular cases don't prove or disprove anytthing but if all people saw were my purchases when I leave work (I work in a supermarket, lucky me) they would think that I was lucky to stay as trim (ahem) as I am. All I ever seem to get is their finest luxury soft baked cookies and other treats to try and make me forget that I stink of fish and beef blood and that I have to cycle home and it's raining.

I also would like to thank you for confirming that Joca is not paranoid. There really are people out to judge you on the basis of your shopping.



> Nice thread, I hope they will not close it.


 Yes I hope evil mods don't close this fantastic thread either, freaking nazis.


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## PABLO DE SOTO

I am really surprised that so many people look at others trolleys.
I never do that.In general terms I am not interested in my neighbours life.
I am one of those people who are in their own thoughts,not in what's around,so I miss lots of  "interesting" things around me.
Do you really think it is interesting what people buy?

I don't mind if people look at my trolley.Really,I don't realize that they are doing it.


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## Kajjo

Joca said:


> When you put the goods on the track, people who are behind you can see what you are buying. Some people even stare. It seems that you are being judged by the items you are buying.



I am certain most people look, some people observe but only very rarely anyone stares. Personally, I am very bored when waiting at the check-out so naturally I watch what others are putting onto the track. I never felt judged or rated, but I agree that it is common to try, playfully, to deduce traits of the other persons -- quite often I am amazed about why the poorer looking persons buy relatively expensive ready-to-eat or frozen food while the "normal wife" type of woman probably pays half to prepare a dinner at least twice as good.

Kajjo


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## Amityville

Tonight I bought cat food, a loaf and a bottle of whiskey. What must people have thought ? Catfood sandwich followed by getting blind drunk -
aargh, the embarrassment.
The bulk buyers are definitely a mystery - does one member of the family concentrate on one item ? Do they have toilet roll and water parties ? Is it a hoarding instinct ? 
I try to shop at my little local grocery fairly often, though more expensive, and there scrutiny and comment are usual. A different experience altogether - makes you wind down.


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## Bilma

Amityville said:


> Tonight I bought cat food, a loaf and a bottle of whiskey. What must people have thought ? Catfood sandwich followed by getting blind drunk -
> aargh, the embarrassment.
> The bulk buyers are definitely a mystery - does one member of the family concentrate on one item ? Do they have toilet roll and water parties ? Is it a hoarding instinct ?
> I try to shop at my little local grocery fairly often, though more expensive, and there scrutiny and comment are usual. A different experience altogether - makes you wind down.


 
No , you get drunk first and then you have the catfood sandwich!...Too funny!


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## french4beth

I don't really care what other people are buying - sometimes I feel sorry for the oddly dressed person who avoids eye contact, but buys thousands of cans of catfood - I get much more irritated/judgemental of people who can't turn off their blasted cell phones, completely ignore the supermarket clerk, and keep blabbing on about their pathetic lives throughout the entire transaction! Either that, or people who do one month's worth of shopping at 7:15 am when there's only 1 cashier available...

I must admit, I tend to not want to buy catfood, junk food, or romance novels late on a Saturday evening - makes me feel a bit pathetic...


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## cuchuflete

I look at what's on the belt in front of me—it's either that or look at the National Enquirer or People Magazine or similar eye pollution.  It's a fair microcosm of what's on the store shelves.  I skip most of what's on the shelves, and I don't get worked up that other people buy things that don't interest me. 

The fun part of shopping is getting questioned by the checkout clerks, who seem fascinated by kumquats, papayas, cheremoya, tomate de árbol and other good tasting fruits that seem unknown to lots of natives around here.  They want to know the names, flavors, whether such things need to be cooked (!).
When I buy fiddlehead ferns in the spring, my new buddies who work the cash registers tell me about the
best 'secret' places to go and pick my own.  We also swap recipes, and this usually gets the person behind me in the line involved in a friendly conversation.


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## panjandrum

It's inevitable.
The stuff on the belt in front of me is always fascinating.
It's like the guy in front has walked round a completely different store.
Where did he find goat fillet canneloni with garlic and prawn sauce?
Why did I walk past the blueberry and dolcelatte meringue pies?
If in doubt ask.
It helps to pass the time.


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## ElaineG

I went to the supermarket tonight and of course this thread was on my mind.  So I thought, for once, I'll try not to look.  I picked up the National Enquirer instead.  After 2 pages, I couldn't take it anymore, and went back to wondering why the young couple in front of me eats only dairy products (milk (2 kinds), yogurt, kefir, cheese, cottage cheese and one pack of towel paper).  It was much more interesting fantasizing about their Lattatarian lifestyle and whether or not it would become a trend than the latest exploits of Britney Spears could ever be.


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## Joca

ElaineG said:


> I went to the supermarket tonight and of course this thread was on my mind. So I thought, for once, I'll try not to look. I picked up the National Enquirer instead. After 2 pages, I couldn't take it anymore, and went back to wondering why the young couple in front of me eats only dairy products (milk (2 kinds), yogurt, kefir, cheese, cottage cheese and one pack of towel paper). It was much more interesting fantasizing about their Lattatarian lifestyle and whether or not it would become a trend than the latest exploits of Britney Spears could ever be.


 
Hi ElaineG:

What does Lattatarian mean? Does it come from "lac" (milk in Latin)? At first I thought you meant to say "Rastafarian". Confused.

JC


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## ElaineG

Joca said:


> Hi ElaineG:
> 
> What does Lattatarian mean? Does it come from "lac" (milk in Latin)? At first I thought you meant to say "Rastafarian". Confused.
> 
> JC


I made it up.  Someone who eats only dairy products would be???  Why not a Lattatarian?


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## cuchuflete

Makes great sense.  People who are made to eat their words are obviously logotarians.  If they have to swallow their invented terms they are neologotarians?


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## Vagabond

The only time I look at other people's purchases is when I am trying to decide which line I will choose to wait in. Meaning, I check the quantity of products, not their quality. I hate waiting in lines.

And, if anyone felt obliged to patronise me about my purchases, they'd get a snide reply to help them mind their own business.


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## Joca

ElaineG said:


> I made it up.  Someone who eats only dairy products would be???  Why not a Lattatarian?



That was my thought, but did you know there was a word for that? It's lactivorous, an adjective meaning "feeding on milk". Possibly, there's also a noun - lactivore - in the same way as we have omnivore (eating anything), carnivore (eating meat), frugivore (eating fruit) etc.

JC


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## Zsanna

I have to start it from the beginning... I look mainly to be able to decide if I can start putting my goods on the "belt", but I admit that sometimes the whole situation makes me wondering, too. 
For example in the sense (already mentioned) of "that's a lot of bottles of water" (to which my reaction is: "yuppie, they'll pass fast through the cash desk!"), or that young girls would buy things like Coke and some sort of crisps (same reaction) meanwhile healthy food eaters (also myself at times) are likely to buy some _weird_ things that nobody knows the price of (so, potential line-holder-uppers! Tut-tut.). 

I remember when supermarkets were new to me (because I was a newcomer in France), it occurred to me whether it did not make some people feel bad (or jealous, or desperate) to see how much others buy. 
But at the time I was not used to living in a place where there was a great difference in people's income and could not even imagine what effect it may have on them... Now I know that frustration and jealousy does exist. (And that there is no attempt to stop it.)

On the other hand, it certainly does not bother me if sy has a good look at what I buy, nor if we have a chat about it or about how to prepare it. So much the better! At least you get some human contact - that's already better than the usual vacuum...


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Vagabond said:


> The only time I look at other people's purchases is when I am trying to decide which line I will choose to wait in. Meaning, I check the quantity of products, not their quality. I hate waiting in lines.


Same here.  

Honestly, I just don't care about what products other people buy, my only concern is _*how many*_ products they will have to check and pay for.  

I mean, what's the problem if there's a lady with nothing but 2 bottles of rum, 4 packs of cigarettes and a couple of catfood cans?  My only thought on the matter: "_Great!  She'll be done quickly_", and that's about it.  I would think precisely the same if the lady had only two bags with veggies and tunafish.

I believe my shopping cart -and whatever I fill it with- is of no concern of anybody but me and my wallet.  So, why should I peek into other people's shopping carts?  Am I going to pay for what they're buying?  Then, why on earth should I be interested in what they're about to buy, anyway?   I just don't get it.


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## geve

PABLO DE SOTO said:


> I am one of those people who are in their own thoughts,not in what's around,so I miss lots of "interesting" things around me.
> Do you really think it is interesting what people buy?


 


Venezuelan_sweetie said:


> Then, why on earth should I be interested in what they're about to buy, anyway?  I just don't get it.


*Anything* can be interesting when you start looking at it - not just _seeing_ it. 

I have strategies when I empty my cart - the heavy things go first so that I can put them in the bottom of my shopping bag, followed by things with geometric shapes that fit easily, fruits and vegetables at the end... Looking at how other people do helps me realize that I'm a bit weird.


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## Alethia

i used to work as a cashier (long time ago) and i did try to guess how the clients lifes were by looking at the things they were buying! not to judge them or anything, but for example if they lived by them selves, if it was a parent with kids (they always buy cereal, etc..) or if they liked cooking, or if they liked spicy food, or if they were having friends for dinner that night...just making up stories to entertain myself a bit!!!


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Funny thread! Strange question. Now I wonder what people can think of me buying only 2 packs of 32 toilet paper rolls or 4 packs of 6 milk bottles... Surely that I have intestinal issues and that I need a bath with milk to cure the soreness after! 
Seriously Joca, I don't care if they can think such a stupidity.
Moreover you would be surprised in the south of France if you look at others foods: one can start talking with you and compare the taste of one brand of brandade can with another one. 
To sum up my thoughts, I don't believe this saying "tell me what you eat I'll tell you who you are"!  (as you can go to the supermarket to buy food for someone else too!)


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