# Puhutko suomea? or Puhutteko suomea?



## japanilainen

Hei!

Here's my question regarding when to use "te" as in singular "you". Have Finns ever used that word lately? Maybe it has to do with me growing up in a culture where you have to show utter respect to the older person, but I hesitate to call everyone "sinä". I'd rather show respect both to my friends and to strangers I meet on the street. So I choose to use "Puhutteko suomea?" to a total stranger but what do Finns think when someone refers to them as "te"? 

And above all, should I refer to my fiance's parents (they're Finnish) "sinä" or "te"?


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## Hakro

My generation still understands the difference between "sinä" and "te" but younger people do not – they even hate to use "te" and when they do they make grammatical mistakes.

Today you can say "sinä" to anybody, even to the President of Finland. On the other hand, saying "te" shows a respect that especially older people may appreciate.

Concerning the parents of you fiancée (note the feminine ending if she's a girl, as I suppose!) it's hard to say what they prefer, but using "te" you're not losing anything. I'd guess that sooner or later they'll tell you to use "sinä".


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## japanilainen

Thank you so much. It's comforting to know that I can still use "te" to  show respect in the current Finland. The fiance's parents moved outside  of Finland long time ago so hopefully they're "old-fashioned" enough to understand my intentions.


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## Hakro

I hope so too. But if they moved to Sweden it may be a different case. The Swedish find it impolite, even insulting, if somebody addresses the saying _ni _("te"). It's used there only for the royal family.


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## japanilainen

Voi voi. They happen to be "ruotsinsuomalaiset" in Eskilstuna. Thank you so much for tips, I'll keep that in mind.


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## 880320

japanilainen said:


> Hei!
> 
> Here's my question regarding when to use "te" as in singular "you". Have  Finns ever used that word lately? Maybe it has to do with me growing up  in a culture where you have to show utter respect to the older person,  but I hesitate to call everyone "sinä". I'd rather show respect both to  my friends and to strangers I meet on the street. So I choose to use  "Puhutteko suomea?" to a total stranger but what do Finns think when  someone refers to them as "te"?


Even though using the word "te" isn't very common in Finland (unlike in  Russia where "Вы" is very commonly used rather than "ты"), some people,  including myself, prefer to use it on a daily basis and not only in very  formal situations, however odd it is. I admit that my understanding  concerning whether a particular expression should be or should not be  considered a "polite" or "formal" language, along with the way I speak  Finnish, has been influenced by my studying Russian and German, both of  which are, in my experience, languages largely dissimilar to Finnish in  these regards.



japanilainen said:


> And above all, should I refer to my fiance's parents (they're Finnish) "sinä" or "te"?


There  is no difference that I can tell. Many people in Finland probably would  use the word "sinä" but it's not written in stone.


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## japanilainen

Do kids at peruskoulu refer to their teachers in school "sinä"? And while we're at it, what do the kids at school call their teachers? By their names? "Opettaja!"?


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## 880320

japanilainen said:


> Do kids at peruskoulu refer to their teachers in school "sinä"?


Most of the time, that's what they do.



japanilainen said:


> And while we're at it, what do the kids at school call their teachers? By their names? "Opettaja!"?


In elementary school, "opettaja!" seems to be a rather common way to address a teacher, as well as the first name. Using the surname, on the other hand, is more popular in "yläaste" and "ammattikoulu", particularly in the latter. However, referring to a person by their surname appears to be generally more common among men than it is among women or girls.


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## japanilainen

Thank you so much! Interesting that there's this possible gender differences when it comes to what they call their teachers.


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## etrade

It's still easy to find teachers who don't like that students call teacher by their name or use "sinä" !!!

(at least in Seinäjoki area... )


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## japanilainen

But at the universities (be it Tampere, Oulu, Helsinki...) teachers don't mind that students call them by names, right?


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## etrade

japanilainen said:


> But at the universities (be it Tampere, Oulu, Helsinki...) teachers don't mind that students call them by names, right?



Yes, and in adult education center where I am student it is same, but everybody are adults like in university !


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## sakvaka

Surnames? In Mikkeli, we use their first names or the word _ope_ (even in upper 2ndary). One teacher has so far refused to listen to the latter one: "You must either say my first name or _opettaja_. I'm not a half person, I'm an entire one." But I quite understand her.

Edit: Or actually, not always. They may have got special alling names so sometimes everyone uses the surname for one teacher and the first name for another.


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## AutumnOwl

japanilainen said:


> Voi voi. They happen to be "ruotsinsuomalaiset" in Eskilstuna. Thank you so much for tips, I'll keep that in mind.


The best would probably be that you ask your fiancée if her parents wants to be called "te" or "sinä", especially if they have lived in Sweden for a long time and are used to the Swedish "du" (sinä). As Harko mentioned the Swedish "ni" (te) are considered quite impolite and sometimes even insulting, as many Swedes sees it as snobbish and that the person using "ni" thinks that s/he is "better/has higher status" than the other person (it may not be person's intention using "ni", but there are many who dislike it when someone uses it). I'm a Sweden-Finn myself and I wouldn't be offended or think it impolite if a Finnish-speaking person used "te" to me, but if it was a relative/becoming relative and much younger than me, I would find it a bit odd (and old-fashioned/stuffy) and think that the person might not be comfortable with the situation. It's not sure that your fiancée's parents would react the same way, the best ting is to ask her/them what they prefer.


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