# 'Little' brother/sister



## Bonjules

Hola,
Does it bother you if your siblings call you
'my little' bro/sis for the rest of your life?
Even though you might be taller, nicer,
smarter(ha,ha) and so on?
After all, past childhood age differnces become
increasingly 'smaller'/irrelevant.
Or, to ask the question the other way around, if you
are the older one, do you enjoy letting your
younger sibling know 'his place'?


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## fenixpollo

I am from the US, and Americans, generally, have a low tolerance for hierarchies. In my family's culture, the siblings do not have a "place" to be put in -- we're equals, and our parents don't play favorites. This is the way that we feel that society in general should be.  

Another issue is that I only have one brother, and we're close in age (2 yrs). Since the differences between us (height, age, etc.) are small, we don't tend to use those differences against one another.


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## Reina140

I still call my little brother "little brother" and I'm 4'-10.5" and he's 6'-3." I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I will also tell someone that I have 2 big sisters and a big brother.

When my little brother calls me his "big sis" although he's towering over me, I find it endearing.  Oh and I would like to add that we are not that far in age, (3.5 years) but as children that can be a large gap, hence when I began calling him "little bro."


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## Etcetera

My sister have all chances to remain my "little siser" for the rest of our lives.
She's 10 years my junior, and at her current age I've already had more experiance, so it seems to be inevitable.
I though it was due to these 10 years of difference, but Reina's post made me doubt. The reasons must be more interesting.


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## ElaineG

The older we get, the sillier it becomes, but my brother still calls me his "big sis" and I call him, jokingly now that he's in his 30s, bald, married and professional, "my baby brother".  It has nothing to do with putting him in his place -- there is a 4 year difference in our ages,and we have always been extremely close, but throughout our childhoods and into adolescence, I led the way, protected him, cared for him, advised him on girls, clothes, music, how to deal with Mom and Dad, etc.  The protection/care/advice is much more a two way street now, but we both have very fond memories of growing up together, and "big sis" and "baby brother" evoke that love and affection for us.


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## Nunty

Much like Reina and ElaineG, my little brother, middle-aged and miles taller than me, and I enjoy calling each other little brother and big sister. Actually, my pet name for him is now "Elbee", which is L.B., which is lil' bro', which is little brother. I objected to him calling me BS <grin>, so he calls me Teedee, which is a whole 'nother story. But yes, as we get older and more decrepit, we play these games more and more.


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## Etcetera

Nun-Translator said:


> But yes, as we get older and more decrepit, we play these games more and more.


But it's more a game for you both now, isn't it? It seems that you don't take it seriously.


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## Nunty

Etcetera said:


> But it's more a game for you both now, isn't it? It seems that you don't take it seriously.


Oh yes, absolutely. When we were younger he would get a little upset if I introduced him as my little brother. Then, once he got his growth spurt (I'm still waiting for mine...) he enjoyed standing close to me and leaning waaaaay over and saying, "What was that you said, BIG sister?" That was a game, too, but still a little pointed for him. Now that I am over 50 and he is in his late forties, it's just a game and a way of being tender with each other without getting soppy.


EDIT: Hey, Etcetera! That was your cue to say, "Oh, you're not decrepit, N-T!"


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## panjabigator

Things are very much hierarchical in Indian families.  I was never raised or told to call my sister "big sister (/diidii/ in Panjabi) but I have from time to time.  But I like it.


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## Bonjules

Reina140;2128414
 
When my little brother calls me his "big sis" although he's towering over me said:
			
		

> Certainly, when there is a lot of love and affection anything said will be ok, as you and many others have expressed. I don't know how old you are, but the thing is that with advancing age the likelihood of some issues coming up between siblings
> increases (except with anybody who has posted, probably!). When you hit your 60's, maybe it starts
> to sound a little funny?


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## .   1

"Oh, you're not decrepit, N-T!"  

I call my brother my 'baby brother' or my 'little brother' or 'shorty' and he reminds me that I am the 'old man' of the family .

.,,


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## lablady

Because I am the oldest by several years and the shortest by several inches, my siblings had a favorite game they would play. Whenever I would come home for a visit, they would all stand next to me to see "who's taller than Laura now?" My brother passed me in height when he was 11 (I was 19).

Now that we are more mature, I (5'4") call my brother (6'3") my "big little-brother" and he calls me his "little big-sister". It's like a term of endearment just between us; our sisters don't join in our little game.

It's good-natured fun that is likely to continue as long as we live.


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## Victoria32

lablady said:


> Because I am the oldest by several years and the shortest by several inches, my siblings had a favorite game they would play. Whenever I would come home for a visit, they would all stand next to me to see "who's taller than Laura now?" My brother passed me in height when he was 11 (I was 19).
> 
> Now that we are more mature, I (5'4") call my brother (6'3") my "big little-brother" and he calls me his "little big-sister". It's like a term of endearment just between us; our sisters don't join in our little game.
> 
> It's good-natured fun that is likely to continue as long as we live.


It was the same in our family, lablady... I am 5'1", my sisters though younger, are taller and have been since we were all in our teens. My 'little' brother was over six foot, and teased me all our adult lives about it - he died nearly three years ago now, and I so miss that! 

Vicky


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## maxiogee

I am the third of four children. I long ago stopped referring to big/little and just call them my brothers and sister.
Mainly because to refer to my 'big brother' would be to confer some degree of respect/admiration which simply isn't there. Similarly to refer to my 'little brother' would be to denigrate somewhat a fine person. As I only have one sister she is neither big nor little.
I am taller than all of them by at least one inch. It never gets mentioned.


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## cubaMania

Huh, interesting.  I have never thought of "little sister/brother" and "big sister/brother" as conferring respect/admiration or implying denigration.  I have thought of them as judgment-neutral, denoting merely factual birth-order.


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## Etcetera

cubaMania said:


> Huh, interesting.  I have never thought of "little sister/brother" and "big sister/brother" as conferring respect/admiration or implying denigration.  I have thought of them as judgment-neutral, denoting merely factual birth-order.


Same here. 
Were my sister older, I don't think I would object to her calling me her "little sister". 
It is indeed, as Sister Clair has said in this thread, a nice way to be tender with each other.


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## .   1

Etcetera said:


> Same here.
> Were my sister older, I don't think I would object to her calling me her "little sister".
> It is indeed, as Sister Clair has said in this thread, a nice way to be tender with each other.


I'm with Cuba and Anna.  I have many other terms to use for my little brother if I want and he possesses just as many to return.  I remember some of them from our childhood and big/little brother would not even register in comparison.

.,,


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## sarcie

I refer to my younger sister as "my little sister" when talking to other people, but since coming to Germany I have realized that people often take that to mean that she's still a child, when in fact she's a mere 2 years younger than me! But it always gets a smile when I tell them what age she is - it's merely affectionate for me, too.

My dad slipped up one day though and referred to me as his "Number One daughter" - what he meant, was that I arrived into the world first, but my "little" sister took great offense and hasn't let him forget it to this day  She uses it to extort money from him...


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## Salmantina

Hi.

I don´t think there is one particular way to refer to younger brothers or sisters in the Netherlands. A lot depends on how close the family ties are, I think. 

My brothers always referred to me as their little/ baby sister, but the last few months I´ve been handeling some changes in my life. I went to live on my own, I´m in Spain now to do a practice period and I´ve decided to go and live here one day. All these things caused that we talk to each other in a more serious tone and that they treat me with more ´respect´now (not that they didn´t do so before, but I think you get the point, no?).

Three years ago, when I was 19, my ´baby´ brother was born. That was weird. Then you realise that indeed you have been playing that whole role game during the course of your life, because all of a sudden you get "an entire new role". It makes you more concious of the whole thing. I always try not to do exactly that what my brothers did to me (regarding the baby sister thing)   . But I cannot tell you now whether it´s working or not. I only know that I´m softer on him than on other people. Maybe I will let him read this thread twenty years from now so that he can comment on what I´ve just said  .

greetings


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

lablady said:


> (...) Now that we are more mature, I (5'4") call my brother (6'3") my "big little-brother" and he calls me his "little big-sister". It's like a term of endearment just between us; our sisters don't join in our little game. (...)


Same here. I have only two brothers: my "hermanote menor" (big little-brother) and my "hermanito bebé" (little baby-brother). The first one is only 2 years younger than me (and waaaaay taller), and the second one will turn 4 years old next month (he's living with me, and I'm responsible for him. He's my "_child_" in most ways that matter). 

The latter, loves me to call him the way I do. He's the spoiled little creature in the family, and with all reasons! The other one, used to hate when I called him "little brother", especially during teenage. Now, being the professional in the national bank field that he is, taller than me, and making more money than me, he begs me to call him "little-brother", which I do, with all the sarchasm (irony?) I can find inside of me. 

In my homeland, it is a nice thing to call your big/little brothers the way we do. My father is the biggest of three children, and now they all look like raisins and weigh like whales (although Dad is still very juvenile and healthy), they still call each other names, based upon their birth-order...


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## Poetic Device

I am the oldest of six (including a step-sister), and we are all equal (or at least they are are equally annoying lol). Our ages range very widely to where the youngest is almost a year older than my daughter, and we all treat each other with respect and all of that. It's very odd, actually. When the six of us are together, there is no sense of age difference. As for the "name calling", we only use our order of births when we are talking about each other to other people or when we are introducing eachother to friends and the rest of the LARGE family.


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## Bonjules

This is only anecdotal, but I noticed looking at many posts of this thread that a lot of older sisters have reported (still) loving relationships with younger brothers. While I don't want to start a whole birth oder
discussion here (would make an interesting thread), I wonder if this is not generally a luckier constellation than the other way around. It seems to make sense:
(sorry for all the stereotypes) Older less competitive,
makes up by seize/age for less strength, 'mothering'instinct(yes, I'm blushing)and so on.
It certainly worked out that way in our family.
Think there's anything to that?


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## .   1

I would have thought that older brothers would develope strong protective bonds with younger sisters.
I have a strong protective bond with my younger brother.
My wife has a younger brother and used to fight like cats and dogs as kids and now see each other at Christmas.
Is your observation based on a straw poll of only your family or have you observed this trait in others?

.,,


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## Bonjules

.., , I meant to say that no, I didn't research it and I don't know wheter there is hard info on this. 
Clearly, in any family it is part of the 'art' of bringing
up children to foster solidaity and compassion rather
than competition (there will be enough of it in life!) and 
one-upmanship. In situations where parents are not 
very good at this, an older, stronger brother could easily
be tempted to play on his 'superiority', it would seem.
Although they come to regret it later, children are often
selfish in their 'fight' for recognition and 'survival' in the
'chaos' family life at times can resemble...
If anyone out there has more on this, share it!


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## Poetic Device

Oh, don't mean to say that life is grand and we are all part of the Brady Bunch (I used to TORTURE my one sister so badly I should have gone to juvie).  I just mean to say that none of think of each other in age range.


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Bonjules, you are very right: that is only anecdotal, and it is hard to reply to it in a way that does not endorse off-topic chat.

There are many books, studies and TV documentals that deal with the topic. Would you like to search for them, or are you interested in hearing of our personal experiences? If the latter, maybe you should open a new thread. If the mods accept it, you can count on my posts in there.


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