# Would you teach violence to your children?



## TimeHP

Hi all.
We don't live in a fairy world, anyway we never would like to be obliged to use violence or to teach violence to our children.
But what do you say or what would you say to your children? 
'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?

And do you think is there a way to stop violence? Or it's congenital and unsuppressable?

Thank you
Ciao


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## mirx

TimeHP said:


> Hi all.
> We don't live in a fairy world, anyway we never would like to be obliged to use violence or to teach violence to our children.
> But what do you say or what would you say to your children?
> 'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?
> 
> And do you think is there a way to stop violence? Or it's congenital and unsuppressable?
> 
> Thank you
> Ciao


 

I wouldn't teach violence to my kids (I don't have any yet)

I beleive this question is very subjective and would depend a lot in what kind of environment your children grow up in. I am 20 years old, and never in my life have I gotten into a fight, and I am certainly not going to start now. I never remember being told by my parents don't fight or turn the other cheek. But I grew up in social circle where it didn't happen (publicly).

My mother made sure however that we never had gun toys, always told us not to play with knives, she bought us some box mittens though.

So as to conlcude, we don't need to teach our kids violence, they will all learned it from the people they're surrounded and not through words.

I mean, If my father had told me not to fight but I had seen him getting into trouble with people every five seconds. What do you think I would have kept his words or his examples.

Violence is one of the things we never spoke of in home, but I have never seen any of parents being agressive towards people, much less gotten into a fight. I tihnk there's  no better example than that.

And as for violent situations, it's the same examples that teach you how to avoid them.


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## Etcetera

I am sure that kids should be able to stand for themselves. I've always told my sister that if someone hurts her, she should hit them back. My own experience is that kids never hurt those who, as they already know, can respond adequately. 
I don't know how it's in other countries, but in Russian schools, it's very common to see boys fighting with each other during the breaks. Of course, their "fight" aren't that serious. They do it mostly just for fun.


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## LV4-26

I don't think violence *needs *to be taught. People are more or less aggressive according to each's own personality, irritability and/or physical courage. I was often annoyed and sometimes beaten up by my fellow classmates when I was a child. My father kept telling me to "strike back". I never (or rarely ever? - my memory fails me here) did, though.
My three children have all had a different attitude in that field. I never taught violence to any of them but all three resorted to violence once or twice when they just couldn't stand being bullied any longer. Given the situation, I never condemned, let alone punished them. (If *they* had been the "bully", then I'd surely have).

Yet, I do believe in "turn the other cheek". But I also believe that it's something you can't be taught until you're old enough to understand its full meaning. There's a time for the teachings of the Old Testament, then a time for those of the New.  It's a matter of appropriate "preparation", maturity.


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## John-Paul

I don't teach my children violence, but I don't mind it when they play with toy guns, swords, or play laser tag. To me these are activities suited for children and not for grown ups. By playing these "violent" games they will also learn about the consequences.


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## Everness

My 2 cents:

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.


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## GenJen54

> My profile says I'm from Kazakhstan. Trust me. _You can believe that as much as anything I write!_


It's a good thing you don't expect me to believe that the words you use are your own.



Everness said:


> My 2 cents:
> 
> Teach your children well,
> Their father's hell did slowly go by,
> And feed them on your dreams
> The one they picked, the one you'll know by.



If you are going to hijack others' words, surely you can at least manage to give credit where credit is due.  Not everyone is as familiar with the fine work of Mssrs. Crosby, Stills and Nash as you apparently are.  For the record, Nash penned the actual lyrics.


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## Agustín.traductor

In my opinion, I wouldn't TEACH my kids violence, BUT, I would let them know it exists. Anyway, it is not an option to solve problems. Animals use violence, and we differ from them because we are beings that have the gift of intelligence. This is what I think.


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## RIU

LV4-26 said:


> I don't think violence *needs *to be taught.


 
Hi, I agree whit you. Children learn it in kindergarden, school, watching TV series teoricaly made for their age. At the some time it depends of every one child. Is possible that you need to promote the '_If someone hursts you, hit him back'_ and with others you need to supress that attitude. This is a field that needs an accurate tracking day to day.

I had listen parents who say _I'm agree if my child hit others while mine didn't be hit._ This is a very depressing method to raise child.


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## maxiogee

I think that we don't need to teach violence to our children. 
As they progress through life it will be taught to them, by a high proportion of the people they meet, and the media they consume.
What we need to teach them is non-violence — physical, verbal and psychological.
They need to be taught (by observation of their parents) that it works, and that it is _always _more fruitful than violence. If they learn that at an early enough age then they will be less prone to accept that the violent in society have it right.


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## Fleurs263

I think that children learn violence first and foremost from their parents.  The children who bully are generally bullied at home. Whilst not all parents choose to smack or use violence to control their children's behaviour, many still do and from a very early age.  It then becomes part of that child's life.  Perhaps if the use of violence by adults against children were to be completely outlawed, then the number of children who use violence/are violent would diminish.


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## Redisca

When I was in first grade, I had a classmate who was in the habit of beating up girls -- for the hell of it.  One day, he beat me.  The school suspended him and did a round of counseling.  After coming back, he beat me again, this time tearing out my hair and scratching my face with his long fingernails in such a fashion that marks remained for a couple of years.  He also beat up my friend on the face, while she pleaded with him to tell us what it was he wanted.  He struck her with his fist.  Like a good person, she turned the other cheek -- and he bashed it against the radiator, fracturing her jaw and knocking out 2 teeth.  The school's response to this was another suspension and more counseling.

After this, my father set aside a few hours to teach me how to stand up for myself -- yes, physically.  And yes, he taught me how and where to hit.  And yes, when that boy came back from suspension and ambushed me again after school, I kicked the ever-loving s___ out of him.  Guess what?  He NEVER bothered me again.  In fact, he never touched another girl again, ever.  Seems violence was the only way in that situation to bring about peace.  I doubt that submitting to more beatings would have had the same effect.


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## sarahtherockgod

TimeHP said:


> Hi all.
> We don't live in a fairy world, anyway we never would like to be obliged to use violence or to teach violence to our children.
> But what do you say or what would you say to your children?
> 'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?
> 
> And do you think is there a way to stop violence? Or it's congenital and unsuppressable?
> 
> Thank you
> Ciao


To answer your question no I wouldn't teach violence to my kids. (If I ever have any.) But when they grow up it's all around them. (I live in a bad neigborhood). But it's all over t.v and in schools so there is no way to get away from it unless you hid in a hole with your family forever. Which I wouldn't recommend.


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## Kelly B

I think children should learn self-defense, and that this should include training in when it is appropriate. The child should try other methods _first _- ignoring, discussing, telling grownups... but if those don't work, then he does not have to play the victim.

A person who knows she can defend herself often has an air of confidence that causes a bully to try elsewhere.


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## LV4-26

maxiogee said:


> I think that we don't need to teach violence to our children.
> As they progress through life it will be taught to them, by a high proportion of the people they meet, and the media they consume.
> What we need to teach them is non-violence — physical, verbal and psychological.
> They need to be taught (by observation of their parents) that it works, and that it is _always _more fruitful than violence. If they learn that at an early enough age then they will be less prone to accept that the violent in society have it right.


Does that include this (initial post)





> 'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?


or, as Kelly put it, "play the victim"?


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## GEmatt

Hi TimeHP,

Maybe I'm just being cynical, but I don't think it's possible to stop violence at all (stopping it, i.e. eradicating it completely). Like it or not, violence is intrinsic to what we are; our choice simply lies in whether we allow it to be a part of _who_ we are.
I wouldn't say 'congenital' or 'unsupressable', because these imply that we all literally born violent, will inevitably become violent, and have no choice in the matter. I think we all have a choice, but that a minority, thankfully, have difficulty discerning the choice, making it, and sticking to it. But maybe I'm just being idealistic, too


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## DAT

I would say more then teaching them violence to my children; I will concentrate on Identify it and preventing it; also how this will affect them as person and society as well for the rest of their lifes.


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## maxiogee

maxiogee said:


> I think that we don't need to teach violence to our children.
> As they progress through life it will be taught to them, by a high proportion of the people they meet, and the media they consume.
> What we need to teach them is non-violence — physical, verbal and psychological.
> They need to be taught (by observation of their parents) that it works, and that it is _always _more fruitful than violence. If they learn that at an early enough age then they will be less prone to accept that the violent in society have it right.





LV4-26 said:


> Does that include this (initial post)or, as Kelly put it, "play the victim"?





TimeHP said:


> 'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?




El-Vee, that 'Turn the other cheek' comment is not mine. I do not recommend making oneself an outlet for other people's aggression and for their psychological problems.
One need to teach children that they can have recourse to other forms of defence. There are few situations which they can find themselves in where they will not be able to seek the protection of a responsible adult. Our son knew from an early age how to speak out for himself when the occasion required. One instance of bullying when he moved to a new school was reported by him, with a friend in two, to the principal. It never occurred again. By the time he got home and told me about it it was sorted.

I only once beat my son and that was a lapse I never forgot - he was very young and doesn't seem to recall the incident. I had been beaten by my parents and had vowed I wouldn't do it if ever I became a dad. How easy it was to slip!


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## John-Paul

How do you teach your children to deal with power? I don't think the actual violence is the problem, it's the 'being violated' what causes the harm. Turning the other cheek, is the ultimate form of overpowering your enemy. Gandhi, Dr. King, Mandela - these guys have been hit, abused, attacked, but they have never been violated, because the knew they were right. As a parent I think you have to give your child - for lack of a better word: character. He/she should be able to take on the world and not be intimidated by physical or verbal abuse.


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## GEmatt

John-Paul said:


> Turning the other cheek, is the ultimate form of overpowering your enemy. Gandhi, Dr. King, Mandela - these guys have been hit, abused, attacked, but they have never been violated, because the knew they were right.


 
John-Paul,
Are you taking a literal interpretation of "turn the other cheek"?  Surely you agree that legitimate self-defense (physical or, why not, verbal) is a desirable skill?  Maybe even part of giving your child "character"?

Otherwise, our kids turn into physical and psychological punching-bags..


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## John-Paul

GEmatt said:


> John-Paul,
> Are you taking a literal interpretation of "turn the other cheek"?  Surely you agree that legitimate self-defense (physical or, why not, verbal) is a desirable skill?  Maybe even part of giving your child "character"?
> 
> Otherwise, our kids turn into physical and psychological punching-bags..



No. Actually, I don't think I've never seen anyone "turn the other cheek." That's something out of a medieval how-to-submit-your-peasant handbook, you know, when the landlord slaps the farmer for not providing him with enough eggs and then the proud farmer proudly turns his face to receive another smack. As for the kids. I teach them to verbalize their anger - because sometimes our own kids are the agressor - let's not forget that. As for self-defense, you know what, I don't know a single answer. It all depends on the context. What if your child has te defend him/herself against someone who is not as strong - would that be fair? What if someone is stronger but not smart and you know he/she will do the same thing tomorrow? What if you're facing two or more kids? There many variables on te playground. It's up to me as a parent to hand them a set of tools in order for them to make their own decisions. The playground is not that different from the corporate world.


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## LV4-26

maxiogee said:


> El-Vee, that 'Turn the other cheek' comment is not mine. I do not recommend making oneself an outlet for other people's aggression and for their psychological problems.


OK, thanks for making that clear. I felt it was worth asking because the comment in question seemed to constitute the very essence of the initial post, the one that launched the discussion. Therefore I took it that *that* was the issue (or, at least, a substantial part of it).


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## TimeHP

I am against any sort of war and I am against violence.

Nevertheless I wonder if slavery would have been stopped without any violence, if workers would have gained the same rights without protesting and fighting, if domineering people could be won by a kind word.

Maybe sometimes we are just obliged to fight for our rights...


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## Sallyb36

I taught mine that they should never initiate violence in any way, but if someone hit them then they should hit back twice as hard.


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## mirx

Sallyb36 said:


> I taught mine that they should never initiate violence in any way, but if someone hit them then they should hit back twice as hard.


 
Hi Sally. All I can say is that you're a violent parent.

And TimeHC.

Remember Alcapone.

It is more worth a kind word and a gun, than a kind word alone!!!.

How wise, isn't it?


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## Hutschi

I think, many people teach their children violence indirectly, buying violent computer games like "Doom" or similar games or they allow them to play violent computer games. 
Unfortunately, the policy is not to forbid such games. In addition to teach violence, they steal the time to learn and to play.


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## TimeHP

> Remember Alcapone.
> 
> It is more worth a kind word and a gun, than a kind word alone!!!.



I imagine you're joking.

Anyway I don't think that violent people are just those who use brute force. Parents can teach violence by speaking, they can be intolerant and use violent words. they can be aggressive in what they say.

Ciao


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## mirx

TimeHP said:


> I imagine you're joking.
> 
> Anyway I don't think that violent people are just those who use brute force. Parents can teach violence by speaking, they can be intolerant and use violent words. they can be aggressive in what they say.
> 
> Ciao


 
I am not joking, I simply gave an answer for your questions.

if you read my first post you'll know where I stand regarding to these matters.

Saludos.


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## Hutschi

> TimeHP: Parents can teach violence by speaking, they can be intolerant and use violent words. they can be aggressive in what they say. Parents can teach violence by speaking, they can be intolerant and use violent words. they can be aggressive in what they say.


 
This is true. And sometimes something may be misinterpreted as violent. Especially, when it sounds sarcastically - even if it is not meant as such.


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## Hutschi

Sallyb36 said:


> I taught mine that they should never initiate violence in any way, but if someone hit them then they should hit back twice as hard.


 
Hi, I think, this does not really help. It is an escalating strategy.

It would be better to use Tit for Tat, - hit back - but in an appropriate strength and forgive, if the behaviour of the other person becomes friendly. In any case, it is good to start friendly and avoid to hit first.


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## TimeHP

> I am not joking, I simply gave an answer for your questions.
> 
> if you read my first post you'll know where I stand regarding to these matters.



I read your previous post and it was clear. 
But there's a great difference between criminals using violence and people who fight for their rights or to defend themselves. 

Ciao


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## Sallyb36

mirx said:


> Hi Sally. All I can say is that you're a violent parent.
> 
> And TimeHC.
> 
> Remember Alcapone.
> 
> It is more worth a kind word and a gun, than a kind word alone!!!.
> 
> How wise, isn't it?




mirx, all I can say is that you are NOT a parent!!  I'm very far from a violent parent!


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## Sallyb36

Hutschi said:


> Hi, I think, this does not really help. It is an escalating strategy.
> 
> It would be better to use Tit for Tat, - hit back - but in an appropriate strength and forgive, if the behaviour of the other person becomes friendly. In any case, it is good to start friendly and avoid to hit first.



I see it as a pure defence strategy, they are not likely to target you again if you respond in this manner.  I am totally against violence, and would never initiate it under any circumstances.


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## Hutschi

Sallyb36 said:


> I see it as a pure defence strategy, they are not likely to target you again if you respond in this manner. I am totally against violence, and would never initiate it under any circumstances.


 
Hi Sally, I think, it may be I understood "twice as hard" wrong. I took it literally, but you meant "appropriate", certainly. 

Otherwise:

a 1
b 2 
a 4 - enough to knock out the other
b 8 - kills

Best regards
Bernd


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## Sallyb36

No, I meant harder than they hit my children, so they would think twice about targeting them again!


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## Sallyb36

This would hopefully lead to 
a 1
b 2
a 0 gone to attack someone else!


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## Sallyb36

bearing in mind that bullies are cowards!


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## Luke Warm

As violence is unavoidable in life, I think it’s important to teach children the best way to handle it. “Turning the other cheek” can be disarming for an offender, but is not always the best defense against violence. I will ensure my children are taught self-defense martial arts that us the force of the aggressors attack against them.  And if they ever use it to aggressively harm someone, I’ll beat the living… joke, just a joke… tee hee 

But seriously, children should be taught to “turn the other cheek”, but should also be equipped with words, the physical ability to defend themselves, and the knowledge of how to handle violent situations. This is certainly a topic parents should seriously address with their children.


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## V3nom_is_here

I`d tell them not to respond with violence , but not be a coward either . If somebody hits you , you can`t just stand there ..


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## Elena83

Violence can not be taught, sooner or later it will be observed by children, but i will teach them to look for COMPROMISES, i think this is the only way out of Violence or Conflict. It is not about being hit on one cheek and giving to hit another one, it is about Tolerating, Understading and Compromising. 
Moreover i strongly believe that this world will never stop being violent    because all beings are violent by nature, even if we see animals, some of them eat each other, or males eat their babies and so on. And noone can compete with nature


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## V3nom_is_here

Elena83 said:


> Violence can not be taught, sooner or later it will be observed by children, but i will teach them to look for COMPROMISES, i think this is the only way out of Violence or Conflict. It is not about being hit on one cheek and giving to hit another one, it is about Tolerating, Understading and Compromising.
> Moreover i strongly believe that this world will never stop being violent because all beings are violent by nature, even if we see animals, some of them eat each other, or males eat their babies and so on. And noone can compete with nature


 
My thoughts exactly .. I`d reccomand them to try to avoid fighting / use violence .. but if there`s no other alternative ..


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## maxiogee

From the BBC news pages.


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## fuzionman1997

Well, I think learning self defense is extremely important....no matter what your tendencies towards violence are. For example, just because I'm a pacifist at heart who doesn't want to hurt anyone, doesn't mean that someone with a more aggressive personality will feel the same way.  They may want to hurt me for no reason...some people do just for pleasure. That's what I experienced at school....until I learned martial arts and fought back. I never had a problem after that. Self defense and conditioning (the ability to take a hit and recover) are important. It may save your life if the teacher or cops aren't around and you're facing a violent person.


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## Sallyb36

fuzionman1997 said:


> well, i think learning self defense is extremely important....no matter what your tendencies towards violence are. for example, just because i'm a pacifist at heart who doesn't want to hurt anyone, doesn't mean that someone with a more aggressive personality will feel the same way. they may want to hurt me for no reason...some people do just for pleasure. thats what i experienced at school....until i learned martial arts and fought back. then i never had a problem after that. self defense and conditioning(the ability to take a hit and recover) are important. it may save your life if the teacher or cops aren't around and you're facing a violent person.



I agree, both my boys had martial arts training (Ju Jitsu) when they were younger.


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## gaer

The fact is that people who are very good at "martial arts" or any kind of fighting skill(s) eventually have to learn extraordinary self-disipline. They have the skills to kill or maim someone in the blink of an eye.

People who are untrained, in my opinion, are potentially much more dangerous, because they do not realize how much damage they can do in just a couple seconds of rage.


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## AuPhinger

I'm largely with Sally here.  We have waaay too much violence, but mere logic, persuasion, turning of cheeks simply does not protect one.  Every once in a while, you MUST stand up for something; sometimes this might be by means of physical confrontation.


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## panjabigator

Not to give to much personal info, but I wasn't taught by my parents an appropriate way to take care of bullying. I just took it and kept quiet. Their method was ignoring it, but that only works so well sometimes.  When I experienced any violent bullying however, they went to school and complained...which just led to verbal abuse and no physical.  That wasn't a good method.

I am a big believer in teaching self confidence and discipline. My parents put me in Karate. I did it for 5 years and became a black belt in 9th grade. After that, though I could adequately defend myself, I was much more tolerant of a child and I was able to at least verbally stand up for myself, as if I could put my money where my mouth was. I think that when I have children (if I do), I would teach my kids how to defend themselves if necessary, and what to do if repeatedly harrassed by some bully. Of course instigating violence/bullying is never good, but if someone is hurting you physically, you need to know enough defense to protect yourself. 

Don't teach violence, teach defense.  That's the ticket.


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## gaer

panjabigator said:


> I am a big believer in teaching self confidence and discipline. My parents put me in Karate. I did it for 5 years and became a black belt in 9th grade. After that, though I could adequately defend myself, I was much more tolerant of a child and I was able to at least verbally stand up for myself, as if I could put my money where my mouth was.


This is what I was talking about. It is not always true that knowing self-defense will keep you from having to use it, I think most of the time if people know that you are strong, they will not challenge you.

Although there are some big people (of all ages) who are strong and could hurt people very easily, very few of them, at least the ones I've met, are violent people.

If you have a reputation for being tough, and people really know that you are, usually you will be left alone. I really believe that.

Gaer


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## panjabigator

And if you know inside that "hey, I can kick these people's asses anyway, so I'll just let this slide," it becomes a big confidence boost, in the non-violent direction.

What is the best thing to tell a child when someone makes fun of them anyway nowadays.  I feel like there really is no good or acceptable responce that can quench a child's pain.  Violence is of course an easy solution, but not the best.


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## gaer

panjabigator said:


> And if you know inside that "hey, I can kick these people's asses anyway, so I'll just let this slide," it becomes a big confidence boost, in the non-violent direction.


If you know it and other people know it, that's even more true. In addition, as I said before, if you are really strong enough and/or knowledgeable enough about self-defense or fighting to be really good, using what you know, even with great restraint, is potentially dangerous.

Using minimum force with no anger just to control a situation takes an incredibly amount of knowledge, training and experience.


> What is the best thing to tell a child when someone makes fun of them anyway nowadays.


What could anyone say to children when we were young? I don't see any answer. Bullies make life hell on earth for people of all age in different ways, but I truly think it is worst of all in school or at the age you are in school.

Gaer


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## Poetic Device

LV4 had a very good point.  Violence does not need to be taught at all.  However, self control and dignaty must be taught, and I believe that they are the beter alternative to "slugging it out".  Nothing is ever solved with beating someone senseless.  It just lands you in the klink.  Not only that but the people that resort to violence, I believe are ones to be looked down on.  That type of behaviour is animalistic and unessecary.


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## .   1

gaer said:


> If you have a reputation for being tough, and people really know that you are, usually you will be left alone. I really believe that.


I agree.
When I was a kid I was fat and subject to taunts and bullying until one day a teacher pointed out to me that I had grown taller and was stronger than most of the bullies so I retaliated and was left alone.
Shortly after this I moved to a new school and I arrived full of my abilities so when another kid shouldered me out of the way I challenged him. I took a swing at him and he rocked back ever so slightly and my fist sailed uselessely past his chin and he sat me on my bum with one crisp right jab to the jaw.
He was on the boxing team and was a known bully but he left me alone as did the other bullies. Bullies are not interested in unmeek victims.
The meek shall definitely inherit the earth in plots six feet deep.

.,,


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## Sallyb36

as a 9 year old i moved from the south to the north and there was 1 girl in school who always wanted to meet me after school on a field by my house for a fight. I didn't go and was taunted daily for months because i never turned up. Finally my mum noticed that there was something wrong with me, made me tell her everything and kicked me out of the house telling me not to return until I'd kicked that girls ass. So off i went.  She never turned up, so after waiting until after dark i returned home, told my mother, and she told me to confront the girl in the playground in front of all her friends the next day, which i did and she never bothered me again.  All bullies are cowards and show-offs.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Moderator Note:  This thread is starting to shift into a collection of personal reminiscences.  Please return to the topic now, folks.

Thanks.


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## Zoowärter

The only intelligent strategies we can (and should) teach our children in context with verbal and/or physical violence, are "choice & option" strategies. Social learning starts at around the age of three (as does peer violence - wow - what a coincidence!) and children need to learn and understand helpful tools such as STP, ABCD and the like. for those interested here an interesting article:
http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=254#


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## JamesM

I scanned through the posts, and perhaps I missed something, but I can only believe that people who think children are _taught_ violence have not spent much time around toddlers.  The outright rage and violence that one toddler will express towards another over a toy they both want is absolutely astonishing the first few times. The closest weapon is in the hand and bashing the other child over the head before anyone knows it.

I've seen this behavior in children of pacifist parents, aggressive parents, and what I guess you would call "moderate parents." I've seen it in little girls and little boys.  I've seen it in children of different nationalities and cultures.  It appears to me to be universal, part and parcel of being human.

Rather than talking about "teaching" a child violence, I think it makes more sense to me to talk about teaching children to moderate the tendency towards violence that every human being is born with.


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## maxiogee

JamesM said:


> I scanned through the posts, and perhaps I missed something, but I can only believe that people who think children are _taught_ violence have not spent much time around toddlers.  The outright rage and violence that one toddler will express towards another over a toy they both want is absolutely astonishing the first few times. The closest weapon is in the hand and bashing the other child over the head before anyone knows it.



I don't think anyone would deny that all children are born with a strong survival instinct. You'll see it in studies of birds which lay large clutches. In times of plenty, wehn they can afford to feed all of the gaping, screaming mouths presented, the hatchlings will 'play' with each other. In times of shortage, the hatchlings of the same species as were playing together will struggle to dump the weaker ones out of the nest.

Strugtgle with others is a common trait in almost all species. It is usually playful, but when it is not there will genberally be an aggrieved parent to issue an admonishment.


The "teaching" being referred to here is not "teaching from zero" - but like sending a child to school, so that the Mathematics teacher will work with what rudimentary understanding they have of it. The initial poster asked 

"But what do you say or what would you say to your children? 
'Turn the other cheek' or 'If someone hursts you, hit him back'?"

That's the level of 'teaching' we have been discussing.


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## mix3d_papi

*It's true that violence is caused everywhere and is diversed in different situations, like violenc/bullying in school or the playground,and violence is very common amongs the youths these days. In my opinion I wouldn't teach violence to my children(dont have one yet) but give them knowledge and embrace that the world isn't always friendly. In extreme ocasions you can't stop your children to be violent if their provoked by Ex. a bully. They have to stand up for themselves and dont back down.And not use silly excuses such as.. EX.."My mom told me not to hit" because you dont want your child to go through being bullied or being targeted. You have to embrace to your child that the world isn't friendly yet that if they get targeted/bullied they have to stand for themselves, and tell them violence isn't alwayz the answer but the last. Another alternative thing you could tell your child when he faces violence inflicted amongs him/her is to tell you or the teacher.And not alwayz use violence as an answer.*


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## Poetic Device

That's just it, though.  It all depends on how the child behaves.  If you tell a little kid "this is how you hit someone but don't do it unless you have to/it's am emergency"the kid might think that something different is an "emergency".  You really have to keep the child's personality in mind.


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