# Be careful, Americans! ¡Cuidense, Americanos!



## VenusEnvy

I'm not sure whether or not this has been discussed. If it has, please someone direct me to it.

I am studying Spanish and would love to visit/study/live in a Spanish-speaking country one day. My parents are skeptical of my "crazy dreams" because they are under the impression that American students in foreign countries are prime bait for murder and kidnapping. 

They say, "Nicole, don't you know that you would stick out like a sore thumb over there? They would love to prey on a little American girl. The next thing you know, you're missing and the police are calling us!"

My father read this article today, and made sure to make me read it. "You see?! It does happen!" he said to me.

Is this the perception of all parents? Or, only of American parents? Is there truth behind their worries?
......................................................................................................

No estoy segura si se haya discutido de este tema. Si sí, por favor que alguien me lo diriga.

Estoy estudiando el español y me gustaría visitar/estudiar/vivir en un país hispanaparlante algún día. Mis padres están escépticos de mis "sueños locos" porque les dió la impresión que los alumnos americanos en los extranjeros son como un cebo perfecto (no sé si se lo dice así en español) para homicidio y secuestro.

Me dicen, "Nicole, ¿No sabes que estarías dando la nota ahí? Les gustaría acosar una chica americana. Y, antes de fijarse, ¡Estarás desaparecida y la policía estarán llamandonos!"

Mi padre leí este artículo  hoy, y le aseguró que lo leyera. "¿Lo ves? ¡Sí, lo occure!" me dijo.

¿Esta es la percepción de todos padres? O, ¿Sólo los de acá? ¿Hay razón detrás de sus preocupaciones?



Por favor, corrijanme si dije algo incorrecto o que no suena natural. ¡Como siempre, gracias de antemano mi gente hispana/latina!


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## timpeac

Not being a parent it's very difficult to say, but most of my friends had year's out and many people I know studied abroad and I don't remember any parental objections at all. They may well be biting their lip and crying after the plane has left, but going abroad is viewed as quite normal, indeed a positive thing.

Within first world countries at least I don't think any is seriously more dangerous than another. If you're from the countryside in your country you are likely to be a bit out of your depth at first in any city for example.

It's not a wholly unfounded fear, since foreigners are an easy target for the unscrupulous because they will know less of local culture and be an easier target. However, if you keep your wits about you I don't think it should stop you following your dream.

Would your parents voice the same concerns about you going to a big US city like NY or LA? I imagine so.

Edit - to be fair to your parents, it must be a bit different when you live in the US. For example between college and university I went to Spain for a few months on my own - I just bought a plane ticket and went. My mum told me later that it drove her mad that I had no plans (I had booked the first night in a youth hostal and was taking it from there) but she knew it was only 2 hours on the plane if I needed her (or vice versa). These countries are a lot further away for you.


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## VenusEnvy

timpeac said:
			
		

> Would your parents voice the same concerns about you going to a big US city like NY or LA? I imagine so.


No, I've travelled (albeit not very far) within the US.

My parents believe Americans to be a target to foreigners. Foreigners supposedly hold some resentment towards Americans. (This is the reasoning behind my parents' argument)



			
				Tim said:
			
		

> Edit - to be fair to your parents, it must be a bit different when you live in the US. For example between college and university I went to Spain for a few months on my own - I just bought a plane ticket and went. My mum told me later that it drove her mad that I had no plans (I had booked the first night in a youth hostal and was taking it from there) but she knew it was only 2 hours on the plane if I needed her (or vice versa). These countries are a lot further away for you.


This is a good point; I hadn't thought about it this way...  

Buuuuuuut, Central and South America are still on my continent. I'm really not sure how long the plane ride would be there, but it's not that far.

I suppose that part of this stems from a stereotype (true or not?) that they hold for Spanish-speaking countries. I think it's also important to note that they wouldn't mind if I travelled to Spain. But, going to Brazil for example (well, after that article!) scares them to death.


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## timpeac

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> No, I've travelled (albeit not very far) within the US.
> 
> My parents believe Americans to be a target to foreigners. Foreigners supposedly hold some resentment towards Americans. (This is the reasoning behind my parents' argument)
> 
> 
> This is a good point; I hadn't thought about it this way...
> 
> Buuuuuuut, Central and South America are still on my continent. I'm really not sure how long the plane ride would be there, but it's not that far.
> 
> I suppose that part of this stems from a stereotype (true or not?) that they hold for Spanish-speaking countries. I think it's also important to note that they wouldn't mind if I travelled to Spain. But, going to Brazil for example (well, after that article!) scares them to death.


 
Oh, I see. So it is really Latin American countries they are worried about rather than, say, European ones. Hmmm, well to be honest - and to my shame really - what I know about Latin America would probably fit on a postage stamp so I can't really comment on that.


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## ILT

Well, what I can say is that if you come here to learn and live peacefully (with reasonable fun, of course), you're in for a treat.  I know my country welcomes foreigners, the good ones.  What we don't like is those teenagers who cross the border, drink all they can drink, break everything in their hotel, and then go back saying: I was mistreated just because I was an american!  
I would recommend some cities towards the center of the country, if you don't mind I can e-mail some information to you.  Querétaro, Cuernavaca, Pachuca, Zamora, those are all beautiful cities with wonderful people.


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## Silvia

Hi Nicole, first of all in Brazil they speak Portuguese 

Anyway, speaking of Brazil, in some cities the inhabitants recommend you not to drive with your car windows down but being locked in, because there are some parts of the city that are risky, especially for foreigners.

Also, some people might be more daring then others and put themselves at risk in certain situations.


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## Isotta

Well, I think if you're sensible (the girl in the article was hitchhiking?), you're fine. Plus you seem have the language under your belt. And you're not going to certain Asian countries where expats and their children must have bodyguards. 

Here I've not experienced the itsiest anti-American/Canadian slight. When they want to talk about Bush, I just listen, despite their often sophistic arguments, because they usually only want to vent rather than entertain other points of view. 

Plus you may not even seem American to them. You may well lift their negative stereotypes of Americans. 

About parents--on my first summer in Europe alone, my father handed me a Canadian flag patch and suggested that I sew it on my bags, even thought this went against the usual family policy of world citizenship. The idea was that people generally like Canadians.

Traveling with friends is always better in doubtful countries I suppose, but if you're going to live, I admit there is something nice about showing up knowing nobody.

Z.


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## Monnik

I love translating said:
			
		

> Well, what I can say is that if you come here to learn and live peacefully (with reasonable fun, of course), you're in for a treat. I know my country welcomes foreigners, the good ones. What we don't like is those teenagers who cross the border, drink all they can drink, break everything in their hotel, and then go back saying: I was mistreated just because I was an american!
> I would recommend some cities towards the center of the country, if you don't mind I can e-mail some information to you. Querétaro, Cuernavaca, Pachuca, Zamora, those are all beautiful cities with wonderful people.


 

I'm with Ilove on this one.   It is sad that things like kidnappings happen, but believe me when I tell you that you would not become a target just for being American, at least not here.   

People in Mexico are very friendly and receptive towards anyone coming to visit with good intentions.  I lived in San Diego for 4 years, and more than once witnessed what Ilove just described.   I used to get so angry when people came back complaining they had been mistreated, when the last thing they had shown for my country was respect.

Something else...   I believe being scared of coming down here and being kidnapped would be the equivalent to me saying I did not want one of my children to go to school in the US because over there kids carry guns and kill their peers, or because - God forbid - they might be eating at McD and some madman might come in and shoot half of the people there.  That would be unfair, don't you think?

If you do decide to pursue these "wild dreams" of yours , just make sure you take the usual safety precautions that you would anywhere else.

And do take up Ilove's offer to send you information about some of our very beautiful cities.


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## BasedowLives

i stayed in spain for a couple months, and i felt safer there then i do at my neighboorhood at night.

the only thing i noticed, is a lot of guys like the blonde ladies.  "hola chica/rubia".

i expected to get crap from people about being american, but they didn't seem to care at all.


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## Isotta

BasedowLives said:
			
		

> i stayed in spain for a couple months, and i felt safer there then i do at my neighboorhood at night.



Yes, even with the turbulence going on here, I feel safer in my neighborhood (granted I am in the city) than I did anywhere in New Orleans when I lived there. 

Basically, if you conduct yourself in the manner you were taught, and speak softly (Americans abroad speak more loudly than they do in their own country for some reason), people will be delighted that an American can speak such lovely Spanish and they will treat you like their little darling. 

Z.


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## *Cowgirl*

I think that your parents are just being protective. ( belive me I've had lots of experience ) 

As for safety, I think you would be OK if you were sensible (as earlier mentioned ) and if you stayed in touristy areas. 

P.S. Your parents may be more receptive to the idea if you had a friend go along, or even more, if you invited them.


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## asm

Estimada Venusenvy:

En todos lados se cuecen habas, y lo que le paso a la chica brasilena le puede pasar a cualquiera en cualquier parte del mundo. Es cierto, sin embargo, que las probabilidades no siempre son iguales y que hay ciudades mas peligrosas y poblaciones mas vulnerables.

Como padre de dos "casi" adolescentes y esposo de una madre extremadamente aprensiva te digo que la situacion que viven tus padres es un problema muy comun; mis padres (sobretodo mi madre) fue muy por el estilo, "preocupona" hasta el cansancio. No es unico de los padres americanos, muy por el contrario en America Latina nos asusta que a los jovenes los "lancen" fuera de su casa desde muy chicos (de acuerdo a nuestros estandares).

Mi experiencia al respecto es que mientras más organizado sea tu viaje menos problemas tendras con tus padres. Ellos necesitan tener cierta confianza en lo que haces y mientras mas certidumbre tengan mas facil sera para ellos manejar la situacion. 

?Hay riesgos? Si los hay, por supuesto. El dia de ayer en TN mataron a un subdirector en una escuela secundaria mientras que otros dos fueron heridos de gravedad. Hoy en mi ciudad tuvieron que usar un arma (taser) para controlar a un chico que estaba fuera de control, etc. Pero eso es parte de nuestra vida cotidiana (lamentablemente). 

Yo creo que puedes tener una experiencia maravillosa, con el entusiasmo que tienes por aprender el espanol y con las habilidades que tienes seguramente puedes ir y trabajar al menos un par de años sin tener ningun problema (yendo a los lugares seguros, viajando acompañada en la medida de lo posible, y sobre todo haciendo lo mismo que haces viviendo cerca de Washington, una de las ciudades mas dificiles del MUNDO).

Yo no frenaria ni por un segundo tus planes "locos", lo unico que haria es anadir una variable en la ecuacion: "como ayudar a tus padres a que acepten que su hija se vaya por un tiempo a America Latina" 

Saludos y suerta




			
				VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I'm not sure whether or not this has been discussed. If it has, please someone direct me to it.
> 
> I am studying Spanish and would love to visit/study/live in a Spanish-speaking country one day. My parents are skeptical of my "crazy dreams" because they are under the impression that American students in foreign countries are prime bait for murder and kidnapping.
> 
> They say, "Nicole, don't you know that you would stick out like a sore thumb over there? They would love to prey on a little American girl. The next thing you know, you're missing and the police are calling us!"
> 
> My father read this article today, and made sure to make me read it. "You see?! It does happen!" he said to me.
> 
> Is this the perception of all parents? Or, only of American parents? Is there truth behind their worries?
> ......................................................................................................
> 
> No estoy segura si se haya discutido de este tema. Si sí, por favor que alguien me lo diriga.
> 
> Estoy estudiando el español y me gustaría visitar/estudiar/vivir en un país hispanaparlante algún día. Mis padres están escépticos de mis "sueños locos" porque les dió la impresión que los alumnos americanos en los extranjeros son como un cebo perfecto (no sé si se lo dice así en español) para homicidio y secuestro.
> 
> Me dicen, "Nicole, ¿No sabes que estarías dando la nota ahí? Les gustaría acosar una chica americana. Y, antes de fijarse, ¡Estarás desaparecida y la policía estarán llamandonos!"
> 
> Mi padre leí este artículo hoy, y le aseguró que lo leyera. "¿Lo ves? ¡Sí, lo occure!" me dijo.
> 
> ¿Esta es la percepción de todos padres? O, ¿Sólo los de acá? ¿Hay razón detrás de sus preocupaciones?
> 
> 
> 
> Por favor, corrijanme si dije algo incorrecto o que no suena natural. ¡Como siempre, gracias de antemano mi gente hispana/latina!


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## panjandrum

OK, you guys are making me feel REALLY old.
Am I the only representative of the parent generation around here?

Under no circumstances should you, especially being a girl, ever leave the parental home. Any silly idea of travelling abroad must be squashed before it is born. If you leave their sight you cannot possibly be safe.

Right. That's the parent view of the world.

Speaking here as a parent who has survived an 18-year-old daughter's trip around Europe and North Africa, a 20-yr-old's trip through the USA, a 22-yr-old's six weeks in Africa, a 24-yr-old's three months in South-east Asia and Australia, a 26-yr-old's three weeks in South America....... Mostly on her own.

Credentials established?

This is a parent thing. Unless you are one, you cannot understand. What you need to do is to respect and understand.

What do you do? 
You have two options. Go for it anyway and never mind the objections.
Or work on them. Well lots of your friends have been to XXX. You will, of course keep in touch when you're away.... 

What worked on me was disingenuous reassurance. I wanted to hear it, and it was provided in generous quantities.

It was only much later that I found out that the phone call from the midnight train in Thailand was to stave off the nausea of food poisoning and to give the appearance of life to the other travellers ...


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## GenJen54

As always, Panj found just the right words to say.

 I have never lived in a Spanish-speaking country, so my exact experience on the matter is limited. However, I did live in France for a year while in college, and travelled quite extensively throughout parts of Europe.

The entire time there, I only ever experienced one "dangerous" encounter, and that was a late-night almost-fisticuff with some drunk teenagers outside a bar. Nothing one wouldn't - or couldn't - encounter here at home.

I think (and actual parents can chime in here) what most parents fear most is their inability to "be there" for their children (even adult children), if and/or when their child may be in need. That, and the separation. They also fear the judgments their children would make without their guidance.

In the case referenced in the article, the young woman exercised questionable judgment - hitchhiking alone in a foreign country. The same with the recent case in Aruba. The young lady went out, got drunk, and got into a car with three young men she did not know. 

These kinds of incidents can and do happen quite frequently here in the US.  We are not immune to them because we are natives.

What I would ask your parents is if living in another country would be any more dangerous than living in your own city. Your own country. We all take risks in our lives. For me, just getting in my car every morning and getting on the highway to go to work is taking a risk. This risk would not be made more severe if I lived and worked in a foreign country.

With all due respect to your fair city, Baltimore has had its fair share of crime. So does your close neighbor DC. Would you be any more protected or safe by riding the subway in parts of DC than you would living in a foreign country?

Bottom line, do any and everything you can and convince them to let you go!


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## foxfirebrand

Venus-- so much good advice here, particularly about Mexico, the one place I can talk about from experience.  I've spent seven months there, on three different visits.  The hospitality of the people there is more like love than friendliness-- on that I have no fear of generalizing.  Even car problems in that country can result in beautiful experiences-- people who are innately loving cannot resist people who need help.  If your rig breaks down, you might literally get taken into the nearest community, into hearts and homes.

Let me emphasize another point I believe Isotta made-- knowing and speaking the language will make all the difference in the world.  People will read you like a book, and respond to your respectful attitude in kind.

Finally, my own experience was not recent-- I doubt that things would be any different now, in the things that really count, but that's an act of faith on my part.  I know there have been well-publicized changes-- but that goes to the next point, which I am also just corroborating from what others have said.  Stay away from the border towns (on both sides)-- that was just as true when people in my generation were travelling to México, not that the inhabitants of that zone are any different from other Mexicans.  It's where the day-trippers go, and cause problems, and attract the kind of exploiters and predators you'll find in any population.

And of course Panj has beat me to the punch in saying what's really important.  Take care of yourself and make sure you sell your parents on the idea that you nkow how to be _cautiously_ venturesome.  No guts, no glory!
.


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## jaqpen

Hi there

Well, I have limited or no experience of some Spanish speaking countries e.g Spain or the Philippines and I certainly wouldn’t claim to know everything about Latin America either but I've just returned home from a 6 month trip (virtually all solo) that included Easter Island, Santiago, Buenos Aires, Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, Columbia, Panama City and Costa Rica and I had an absolutely amazing time. No, I'm not American so I didn't have that particular issue to face but I am female, was traveling solo and unlike you my Spanish isn’t great. 

Undoubtedly crime and personal safety is a huge issue for a woman traveling alone and although I’m not a parent I can understand yours being concerned (I’m afraid you have to get used to the fact this isn’t going to stop – I’m 35 and my parents still worry about me! ;-) but by being informed about the places that you wish to visit and therefore alert to the possible risks you can take steps to try and minimize them and reduce your parents fears also.

   As I said, I can only talk about _my_ experiences which were in South and Central America, but unfortunately they did expose me to the reality that within the countries I visited there is a lot of petty (and some rather more serious) crime, (not really very surprising when so many people are so very poor) and tourists are prime targets. There is a very simple reason for this. We are rich. You might not think you are, but the fact that you can afford to be there when many people can’t afford to leave, tells everyone that you are, never mind whether you’re waving around the latest digital camera and wads of cash or not. 

 Some crime is simply opportunistic, such as pick-pocketing and bag snatching and as in all countries this can often be prevented with a little care e.g such as carrying your money in a hidden money belt. Next up the scale, the variety of scams that people operate to separate you from either your valuables and / or baggage are legion. Being aware of them and remaining alert reduces the likelihood of you falling victim to them. (The lonely planet and rough guide guidebooks and online forums are absolutely excellent for advice on this.)

Next up are robberies with violence. Obviously, wondering through un-safe neighborhoods or practices such as hitch-hiking can make you a much easier target for this than you otherwise might be. (Re hitch-hiking, people forget that it can be unsafe anywhere, not just Brazil. I live in New Zealand, where it is extremely rare for tourists to be involved in violent crime yet a German backpacker was recently stabbed to death after she was picked up whilst hitch-hiking.) Favorite robbery with violence techniques in countries such as Peru and Bolivia include strangle mugging where tourists are choked unconscious and robbed. Despite all my precautions (I was wearing no jewelry, my pocket camera was hidden under my sweatshirt, and I was carrying only two dollars in my pants pocket) I was half strangled and dragged off a street and onto the ground in an alley at ten past three in the afternoon in a small town in Bolivia. Luckily for me they didn’t manage to make me pass out so I was able to scream for help, and the three guys who did it ran off, and about 3 dozen people promptly rushed to my aid but it happened UNBELIEVABLY quickly, and even despite my efforts to minimize my attractiveness as a target. I guess they just thought she’s a tourist, she must have something and she’s alone; easy target.

I don’t want to scare you but you definitely need to be alert to the fact that traveling solo in certain places in South / Central America can sometimes be a bit demanding in terms of requiring preparation, care, attention and alertness with regard to personal safety and you need to assess whether you can cope with that. My suggestion would be that if you are not sure whether you are ready to tackle it alone, or your parents are thoroughly opposed to you doing so, persuade a friend to join you or if that is not possible, join a volunteer program (there are so many worthwhile volunteer programs out there) via which you will inevitably meet people who are also keen to travel with someone else.

For myself, I absolutely loved my time in South and Central America and can’t wait to go back there, especially to countries that I didn’t get to visit (like Cuba, Mexico, Guatamala, Honduras Nicaragua and El Salvador.). I loved the color, the vibrancy, the music, food, landscapes, environments, history, culture, literature, arts; everything, but most of all the people whom I found to be marvelously kind, courteous and helpful. Wherever I went my desire to meet people and my attempts to speak Spanish, however mistake-laden, were invariably greeted with great delight, enthusiasm and warmth. 

Yes, you can always dwell on the bad things that might happen in life but I’m certain that with a bit of preparation and care the chances are you would have a safe trip throughout which your Spanish and a respectful attitude would win you many friends and ensure that you enjoyed many wonderful experiences  Even if like me you are unlucky enough to have a bad experience, it is still only _one_ and at the end of the day, it could have equally well as happened to me in my home city of Auckland, in New Zealand. 


Anyway, hope this helps and wishing you buena suerta!


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## nycphotography

jaqpen said:
			
		

> I don’t want to scare you but you definitely need to be alert to the fact that traveling solo in certain places in South / Central America can sometimes be a bit demanding in terms of requiring preparation, care, attention and alertness with regard to personal safety and you need to assess whether you can cope with that.


 
I think that is the best advice, and perfectly given.

Don't be unreasonably terrified.  But don't be unreasonably confident either.

Be prepared, be safe, BE REASONABLE, and don't forget to have fun.


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## Monnik

panjandrum said:
			
		

> OK, you guys are making me feel REALLY old.
> Am I the only representative of the parent generation around here?...


 

No, no... I'm a parent too, although not THAT old  

Just kidding, Panj... Although my two little ones are still very little, I can relate. A torture chamber is already under construction at my house for any one boy who, in the very-far-future, will dare take my precious girl out. 


And, in case Venus has already made up her mind, I think we should all start bidding, and see who does the best job at convincing her to visit their country


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## Mei

Hola,

Estoy de acuerdo con asm, actualmente puede pasarte cualquier cosa en cualquier lugar, también es cierto que hay sitios más peligrosos que otros, pero si tantas ganas tienes de hacerlo, hazlo. 

Es curioso, a mi me gustaría ir a los Estados Unidos y mis padres me dicen exactamente lo mismo, es normal que quieran protegernos.

No hace falta que te diga que si decides venir a Barcelona, ya tienes casa!  

Saludos, saludetes!

Mei


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## badgrammar

Your parents have the valid concern that something unseemly could happen to you...  But that is true even in your own home town.

I think that contrary to popular belief, Americans are not "targeted" abroad as much as citizens of other countries, because the U.S. has far-reaching powers in criminal matters, such as the dissappearance of a U.S. citizen.  

Young women from smaller countries, often without proper papers, living in precarious circumstances, have a lot more to worry about, as they are much easier "victims" for kidnappings, etc.  People DON'T hate Americans, what they hate (when hate there is) is the government, the president, or U.S. policies/actions...  But this is not the place to get into that ) !

But I, too, once was a very young woman who liked to travel, as my parents' stomachs churned and their hairs turned gray.  They let me go, although at times it killed them.  And they don't even know the half of my "adventures".

My CAVEAT to you is this:  Go. But mind yourself. You are responsible for your own safety.  Do not consume alcohol (or other such things) UNLESS you are in the company of very close friends, AND you know how you are getting home   (and not "this guy I met tonight, Jose's cousin's friend, said he'd give me a ride home").  Everytime something unpleasant happened to me back then, I see now it was a lack of good judgement and one beer too many that got me into a trouble.  Perhaps you are very angelic and not inclined to "party", but in case you sometimes have a little devil on your shoulder, beware!

And be aware that you are an American woman and your friendliness with male friends or with strangers of the opposite sex will sometimes be misinterpreted. Yes, American girls have a reputation, and the guys will be curious to see if its true...  we tend to smile and laugh easily, which can be misinterpreted as encouraging a guy's interest, when for us, it is just normal chatting.

I'll bet your parents' apprehension has a lot to do with the men you are likely to meet there!!!

But travel, see the world.  Be smart. You'll be fine!



			
				VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I'm not sure whether or not this has been discussed. If it has, please someone direct me to it.
> 
> I am studying Spanish and would love to visit/study/live in a Spanish-speaking country one day. My parents are skeptical of my "crazy dreams" because they are under the impression that American students in foreign countries are prime bait for murder and kidnapping.
> 
> They say, "Nicole, don't you know that you would stick out like a sore thumb over there? They would love to prey on a little American girl. The next thing you know, you're missing and the police are calling us!"
> 
> My father read this article today, and made sure to make me read it. "You see?! It does happen!" he said to me.
> 
> Is this the perception of all parents? Or, only of American parents? Is there truth behind their worries?
> ......................................................................................................
> 
> No estoy segura si se haya discutido de este tema. Si sí, por favor que alguien me lo diriga.
> 
> Estoy estudiando el español y me gustaría visitar/estudiar/vivir en un país hispanaparlante algún día. Mis padres están escépticos de mis "sueños locos" porque les dió la impresión que los alumnos americanos en los extranjeros son como un cebo perfecto (no sé si se lo dice así en español) para homicidio y secuestro.
> 
> Me dicen, "Nicole, ¿No sabes que estarías dando la nota ahí? Les gustaría acosar una chica americana. Y, antes de fijarse, ¡Estarás desaparecida y la policía estarán llamandonos!"
> 
> Mi padre leí este artículo  hoy, y le aseguró que lo leyera. "¿Lo ves? ¡Sí, lo occure!" me dijo.
> 
> ¿Esta es la percepción de todos padres? O, ¿Sólo los de acá? ¿Hay razón detrás de sus preocupaciones?
> 
> 
> 
> Por favor, corrijanme si dije algo incorrecto o que no suena natural. ¡Como siempre, gracias de antemano mi gente hispana/latina!


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## Mei

Te lo escribo como yo lo diría, ok?  

No estoy segura de si ya se ha discutido este tema. Si es así, por favor que alguien me lo dirija.

Estoy estudiando español y me gustaría visitar/estudiar/vivir en un país hispano-parlante algún día. Mis padres son escépticos con mis "sueños locos" porque les dió la impresión que los alumnos americano en el extranjero son como un cebo perfecto (si se dice así ) para los homicidas o los secuestradores.

Me dicen, "Nicole, ¿no sabes que estarías dando la nota? Les gusta acosar a las chicas americanas. Y antes de que te des cuenta, ¡desaparecerás y la policia llamándonos!

Mi padre ha leído este artículo hoy y me hizo asegurarle que lo leería y me ha dicho "¿Lo ves? ¡Sí ocurre!" 

¿Es esta la percepción de todos los padres? o sólo los de aquí ¿Hay razones detrás de estas preocupaciones?



> Por favor, corrijanme si dije algo incorrecto o que no suena natural. ¡Como siempre, gracias de antemano mi gente hispana/latina!


 
Bueno, así es como lo diría yo, espero que te sirva...  

Saludos 

Mei


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## belén

When I was 17 I told my parents I wanted to move to Los Angeles to study film. Being from a small island in Spain you can imagine it was kind of a shock. We also hear that many things happen in the States, people carry guns, you have riots...well, my parents were probably soooo scared, but they knew that's what I wanted so they let me go and supported me on everything.. (and I am aware I am a very lucky person having them as parents  )
With that I mean, parents will always worry and everything will seem a potential danger, if you want to be worried you always find things to worry about, be it an American citizen sending his kid to study in Mexico or a Colombian father sending his kid to learn English in Texas... so, I guess it is a question of finding balance and understanding that letting our babies fly free is a big step towards their maturity.
Belén


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## Vanda

Panj said:


> Under no circumstances should you, especially being a girl, ever leave the parental home. Any silly idea of travelling abroad must be squashed before it is born. If you leave their sight you cannot possibly be safe.


 
Oh well, Panj ,are you my father? Or, is there any chance both of you  went to the same school?  

About Brazil: Yes, we heard the news about the American missing girl.
(BTW she was in my state countryside). Yes, tourists are kind of a target
for evil persons, but this is most in big cities like Rio, Sao Paulo, REcife,
in general. Otherwise they are very welcomed by everybody else (not the
evil ones, of course). Actually, what I'd like to say is that this problem, in general, has more to do with violence itself than to the fact of being American travelling in here. 
We all - Brazilians living in big cities - are afraid of driving with open windows as Silvia mentioned, we are afraid of leaving home at night, (depending on the place, during the day too), but all of this have to do
with porverty, the violence generated by the disparity  of income distribution, drugs use and so on, that our whole society is threatened with. 
For tourists,for exchange students the advice is : don't show big amount of  money and expensive accessories in the street. And as we are very warm and open to foreigners, some girls - mainly- go on a date  with some guys (they're Latin conquerors) and put themselves in dangerous situation
if they have no idea who these guys are. That maybe a problem.
Anyway, for those intending to come here, don't let these problems impede you. We can be at risk nowadays anywhere in the world. Mostly of the cities and towns here are nice places to live, people are awsome, and for girls coming to these specific places they are "adopted' by their host families that make them  feel at home and safe.


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## Fernando

Venus, the situation vary from country to country and from city to city within a country.

In Spain, US people are not specially targeted. At most, you will find a dumbshit teaching you about how bad and imperialist your country is.

Of course, foreigners ARE targeted for minor crimes, but I do not feel the crime rate in Spain is so high that prevent you from coming. Unfortunately, Japanese people are specially targeted because of their language difficulties.

I can not remember when the last US citizen died in Spain, and we have (literally) thousands of them every year.

I have been in several countries in Spanish America and I would advise you not to travel to some of them (but locals bear the same or similar crime rate), but I would ecourage you to travel to other.

In spite of the pain I have because of your (multiple) earrings I encourage you to travel to any Spanish-speaking country (better, Spain).


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## Vanda

About the girl mentioned in Venus's link lost in Brazil, 
I've just heard on the TV news (here:13.35h BrazTime): 
she was found in Bahia (nice state with wonderful
beaches). She had left the house she was living in the
countryside with all her things and passport.
At this very moment the reports are showing the
places she has been to since Tuesday and 
she's heading to the federal police right now.
She said to the police she didn't like the little
town she was living!


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## Maria Juanita

Hola, Venus Envy...

Quería decirte que entiendo a tus padres, puesto que mi caso es el mismo, pero opuesto: expresé a mi familia mi deseo de viajar a Europa y a Canadá y ellos temen que por mi apariencia pueda tener problemas, y eso no sólo se debe a la nacionalidad (soy colombiana) sino a que, por mi tipo latino, podría ser objeto de discriminaciones por parte de grupos neo-nazis y gente de mente cerrada. Sin embargo, como tengo amigos que ya han viajado y les ha ido bien, resulta reconfortante y me da buenos augurios.

Ciertamente, vivo en un país del "Tercer Mundo" y no puedo negarlo. Un extranjero en estas tierras es un elemento sin duda llamativo, pero la gente suele recibirlos más que todo con mucha cordialidad y amabilidad. Pienso que tomando las precauciones necesarias tu viaje será exitoso, y puedo decirte que he conocido americanos que han optado por quedarse aquí, pese a lo que dicen las noticias y todo, y si han tomado esa decisión, por algo será.
Sin embargo, lo único que podría darte como consejo es que trates de recibir asesoría por medio de una entidad que te pueda proveer todas las medidas necesarias para tu seguridad y evites zonas de conflicto. En cualquiera de nuestros países de habla hispana te sentirás bien y tus padres podrán estar tranquilos. Hace poco conocí a una chica europea acogida como huesped por una familia que se encargaba de su cuidado y de mostrarle la ciudad y pienso que esta es la mejor forma de viajar.

Bon Voyage...y la mejor de las suertes (espero que nos cuentes despues como te fué y a donde fuiste)

Saludillos,

Maria Juanita


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## santi

And I'm one of those who chose to stay here.. I've got three beautiful reasons and I love them like crazy, when they are old enogh though I would like to take them back home so they can meet their uncles and aunties and all my friends and tech'em how to go cowtippin and take'em to BK and IHOPS and to tropical park and stuff like but in the meanwhile gilr I'll recomend that you go and persue your dreams, just be carefull and trust only the people whom your with don't drink too much and no drugs that'll help you pretty much get by trust me from experiance... well enjoy your trip and many Blessings.. 

this is


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## siljam

Hay varias precauciones elementales que, en mi opinión, toda mujer que vaya
sola a vivir al extranjero debería seguir:

1) no salir sola de noche por ningún motivo. Ni acompañada por personas a las que no conozca bien y que no le merezcan absoluta confianza

2) no hacer exhibición de solvencia de dinero. No usar joyas,ni ropa o 
complementos de marca o muy llamativos.

3) vestir con ropa cómoda y que le quede bien, pero nó llamativa o extravagante. Olvídense de parecer "sexy". Dejen eso para su propio país.

4) rechazar con cortesía los intentos de "amistad" inesperados, sea de hombres, de mujeres o de parejas. Rehusar toda invitación a ir a cualquier 
parte que no venga de conocidos.

5) en fiestas,reuniones o bailes beber muy poco o nada de alcohol.Y rehusar 
todo convite de bebida de desconocidos/as

6) usar la tarjeta de crédito sólo en comercios grandes y para compras 
importantes. Tratar de pagar todo gasto chico en efectivo,y con billetes
de baja denominación.

7) no dar la dirección ni el número de teléfono a nadie, ni tampoco los de su país si se encuentra con algun/a compatriota .

Si sigues estas sencillas indicaciones, evitarás muchos posibles problemas.

Saludos y suerte

Carlos


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## fenixpollo

This has *nothing* to do with the country that Nicole is planning to visit -- it has everything to do with her parents.  

Nic, I think panj and some others have given you great advice: if you show your folks that your are preparing in advance, that you have a game plan, that you know strategies to be safe (no hitchhiking, for the love of Zeus!), then they will be more accepting.  

They may not _ever_ accept your decision to travel abroad, especially if they've never done it, but their opposition is probably based on fear for their daughter's safety.  Show them that you're minimizing the risk, and that will be the best you can do.  Beyond that, it's up to them to deal with it.

Suerte!


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## nycphotography

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> This has *nothing* to do with the country that Nicole is planning to visit -- it has everything to do with her parents.


 
Well, I suspect it COULD have some to do with the country, depending on where she wants to go.

I would suggest starting out with something less dramatic, such as, hmm going to spain first, rather than Columbia.  I'm not saying that Columbia can't be safe... but I will opine the Columbia has substantially more opportunities for trouble than Spain.

By the way, and you may choose not to answer, but it suddenly seems relevant in this context... how old are you Nicole?


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## fenixpollo

nycphotography said:
			
		

> Well, I suspect it COULD have some to do with the country, depending on where she wants to go.
> 
> I would suggest starting out with something less dramatic, such as, hmm going to spain first, rather than Columbia. I'm not saying that Columbia can't be safe... but I will opine the Columbia has substantially more opportunities for trouble than Spain.
> 
> By the way, and you may choose not to answer, but it suddenly seems relevant in this context... how old are you Nicole?


 As far as parents are concerned her age is irrelevant -- she will always be their little girl.  The place is probably immaterial, too, since they will be equally nervous about her safety whether she goes to Abu Dhabi or Zimbabwe.

Also, be careful about generalizing, because you just offended several of our foreros colombianos.  There are places in New York City that are more dangerous than most places in Colombia, just as there are parts of Spain that are equally as dangerous as NY, Mexico City or any metropolis.


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## Fernando

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> As far as parents are concerned her age is irrelevant -- she will always be their little girl.  The place is probably immaterial, too, since they will be equally nervous about her safety whether she goes to Abu Dhabi or Zimbabwe.
> 
> Also, be careful about generalizing, because you just offended several of our foreros colombianos.  There are places in New York City that are more dangerous than most places in Colombia, just as there are parts of Spain that are equally as dangerous as NY, Mexico City or any metropolis.



For sure, I would rather go to Bogotá than to Las Barranquillas (Madrid), but  the point is information. You must choose the country or city where you WANT to go, and then check if it complies with your risk standard.

And, yes, though I am not exactly young, my mother still ask me to phone her if I move farther than 30 km away from Madrid.


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## irisheyes0583

Nicole,

When I was 16, I studied in Costa Rica (Alajuela) and when I was 17, I studied in Brazil (Maceio). My parents were also over-protective, but their fears were somewhat alleviated by the fact that I went on what is called a "teen program". Essentially, a "teen program" meant that there would be a local support system in place if I ever needed it, there were school-sponsored trips that I could go on, and my host family realized that I was young and might need more care/attention than an adult. I don't know how old you are, but the "teen programs" aren't just for teenagers; I think they are for anyone of college age & below. Perhaps knowing that the extra support would be there might make your parents feel a little more comfortable?

Also, if that doesn't work, you might suggest that they come down with you for the first few days to help get you situated. This will probably make the transition much easier for them, given that they will be able to see where you will be living, meet your host family, etc.

Also, just to let you know (and feel free to pass this along to your parents), I was completely safe in both Alajuela & Brazil. My schools gave me city orientations, letting the students know where not to go at night, and common sense pretty much took care of the rest! The local people were incredibly friendly (the fact that I was clearly an American--pale skin, blond hair--made me somewhat of an oddity, and I was treated with mild curiosity for that, but always with respect) and they took very good care of me. Like Isotta said, speaking Spanish very well (or even attempting to speak it very well) will make people think of you as their little darling; they will love you and be fiercely protective of you if anyone tries to bother you!

   Best of luck,
   Erin

   p.s. If you’d like to know the name of my programs, PM me (I can’t post the commercial link)… they were the BEST things I ever did!


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## JazzByChas

I do find it interesting that Mei says the same thing as Venus...all parents (and yes, Panj, I am pretty much in your situation! ) are protective of thier children.

But in the end, Nicole, I would say (and I'm sure my wife would agree) to take advantage of doing these kinds of things now while you are young and while you can! 



			
				Mei said:
			
		

> Hola,
> 
> Estoy de acuerdo con asm, actualmente puede pasarte cualquier cosa en cualquier lugar, también es cierto que hay sitios más peligrosos que otros, pero si tantas ganas tienes de hacerlo, hazlo.
> 
> Es curioso, a mi me gustaría ir a los Estados Unidos y mis padres me dicen exactamente lo mismo, es normal que quieran protegernos.
> 
> No hace falta que te diga que si decides venir a Barcelona, ya tienes casa!
> 
> Saludos, saludetes!
> 
> Mei


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## Swettenham

I can't contribute any personal experiences about Latin America, but I can tell you what my friends have told me.

A Hondureño friend warned me not to travel to Central America, because many people prey on white Americans, so I would most likely be attacked, mugged, etc.

My Peruana girlfriend says much the same about South America. But she also says that her family warns her not to trust _me_ because they have heard so many stories about white American serial killers.

Everyone's afraid of everyone. Also, parents can be irrational ("overprotective," if you prefer) when it comes to their children's experiencing life. Also, some areas of the world really are more dangerous than others (as asm noted, our own DC is not a warm and fuzzy locale). Also, some people are just plain stupid no matter where they are. Finally, human beings tend to focus on the horror of life, ignoring unexceptional and routine occurences as we stand transfixed by extraordinary disasters.

It's your choice. I'd say, as others have, plan smart. But even in the worst case scenario, if you die achieving your dream, is that really worse than living without it?


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## VenusEnvy

nycphotography said:
			
		

> By the way, and you may choose not to answer, but it suddenly seems relevant in this context... how old are you Nicole?





			
				fenixpollo said:
			
		

> As far as parents are concerned her age is irrelevant -- she will always be their little girl.


Right on, Mike. I'm 23 and I'm still their "baby".  They still remind me to put return addresses on envelopes, put on my seatbelt, and lock my doors at night. I'll never reliquinish that status, never.  



Thanks everyone, for your contributions, advice, words of wisdom, and for sharing your experiences with me. If I am accepted, I start grad school in January. I plan on travelling  during the semester that follows. I'll let you know how it turns out. I might even be able to visit some of you.


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## Fernando

Needless to say, if you decide to come to Spain, you do not need to look for  a house...




You have Mei's.



			
				Mei said:
			
		

> No hace falta que te diga que si decides venir a Barcelona, ya tienes casa!


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## Kräuter_Fee

When you go to a foreign country, you are in a risky situation.

Why?

1. Because you know less about the place where you are than the rest of the people who live there. There are things you are supposed not to do, or you are supposed to do but you don't know about it.
2. You won't understand many of the things that people will tell you.
3. There is racism all over the world, being a foreigner in a country involves some risk.

There is a difference between going to Brazil to study and going to Spain. Personally (being myself Portuguese and Spanish), I wouldn't go to Brazil to study. I find it risky, I want to visit it, no doubt about that, but go there alone to study, no thanks.

I've travelled a lot and a couple of times I noticed I had make mistakes (I had put myself in risk)... the worst one was in a small city of Hungary, in the border with Slovakia... 

Anyway, if you wonder whether to come to Spain or not... I can tell you, usually that sort of thing doesn't happen, at least I don't remember it


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## Vanda

Quoting Krauter;


> There is a difference between going to Brazil to study and going to Spain. Personally (being myself Portuguese and Spanish), I wouldn't go to Brazil to study. I find it risky, I want to visit it, no doubt about that, but go there alone to study, no thanks.


 
Or you can go to Spain and die in a blast in a train station, or go to London and be shot by the police , like that Brazilian guy, or go to the USA and be caught in the explosion of the World Trade Center...
well, we can go on this...


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## irisheyes0583

Kräuter_Fee said:
			
		

> When you go to a foreign country, you are in a risky situation.
> 
> Why?
> 
> 1. Because you know less about the place where you are than the rest of the people who live there. There are things you are supposed not to do, or you are supposed to do but you don't know about it.
> 2. You won't understand many of the things that people will tell you.
> 3. There is racism all over the world, being a foreigner in a country involves some risk.
> 
> There is a difference between going to Brazil to study and going to Spain. Personally (being myself Portuguese and Spanish), *I wouldn't go to Brazil to study*. I find it risky, I want to visit it, no doubt about that, but go there alone to study, no thanks.
> 
> I've travelled a lot and a couple of times I noticed I had make mistakes (I had put myself in risk)... the worst one was in a small city of Hungary, in the border with Slovakia...
> 
> Anyway, if you wonder whether to come to Spain or not... I can tell you, usually that sort of thing doesn't happen, at least I don't remember it


I disagree. You absolutely cannot sterotype a country like that! (Imagine what people could say about your own countries. I know what people would say about mine.  ) I went to Brazil when I was only 17 (I'm female) and not only was I extremely safe, but many of the natives of my adopted town looked after me with a kind of parental protection. I think it all depends on the types of places you go! For example, I didn't go to Rio or Sao Paulo because they are big cities and, regardless of the country in which they're found, they can be dangerous (not that I would tell someone *not* to go to Rio or Sao Paulo, because they are beautiful and can be safe if you excercise common sense & caution). I stayed in Maceio, a town in the northeast (reknowned for its beautiful beaches), and I can assure you that I was as safe there as anywhere I have ever been!


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## Outsider

Brazil is a very big country. It all depends on who you hang out with and where you go. 
Even this girl who disappeared turned up safe. She said she just wanted to go exploring the country alone.


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