# He passed away



## Marmotte

Can someone tell me a gentle way to say in French that someone had died ? For example, in English you may say something like "He passed away," "He passed on," or "He is no longer with us."

Sorry for the morbid subject matter, but one has to also learn such expressions when learning a language. Thanks in advance !


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## anangelaway

Marmotte said:
			
		

> Can someone tell me a gentle way to say in French that someone had died ? For example, in English you may say something like "He passed away," "He passed on," or "He is no longer with us."
> 
> Sorry for the morbid subject matter, but one has to also learn such expressions when learning a language. Thanks in advance !


 
Bonjour Marmotte!  

The more gentle I can think of right now is:

_Il nous a quitté. _


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## Nath0811

*Il nous a quitté* is a gentle way to say that. 

Nous can also say 
*Il a rendu l'âme*
*Il n'est plus de ce monde*
*Il est parti cette nuit *


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## Gil

anangelaway said:
			
		

> Bonjour Marmotte!
> 
> The more gentle I can think of right now is:
> 
> _Il nous a quitté. _


Maudit que t'es gentille


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## anangelaway

Gil said:
			
		

> Maudit que t'es gentille


 
Je peux encore être plus gentille : 

_Il trépassa vers minuit._ 
_Il y a deux heures qu’il est trépassé._ 
_Il a trépassé à telle heure._ 



_Je n'ose pas rire ici. Mais je te comprends Gil..._


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## Marmotte

Thanks all.
Just curious, the WordReference dictionary lists under "pass away" the expression "s'éteindre." In what situations is that expression used ?


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## anangelaway

Marmotte said:
			
		

> Thanks all.
> Just curious, the WordReference dictionary lists under "pass away" the expression "s'éteindre." In what situations is that expression used ?


 
Yes, absolutely, this is another one.

_Il s'est étein*t* dimanche à l'âge de_... for instance.



Edit: oui avec un 't' c'est mieux.


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## Nath0811

Marmotte said:
			
		

> Thanks all.
> Just curious, the WordReference dictionary lists under "pass away" the expression "s'éteindre." In what situations is that expression used ?


 
Effectivement, on peut aussi dire
*Il s'est éteint*. C'est assez doux. 

Anangelaway tu m'as fait penser à l'expression 
*Passer de vie à trépas* qui veut dire donc quitter ce monde pour aller vers le prochain.


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## CARNESECCHI

Hello,
And have a look here :
http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=106701&highlight=myrtho
Hope it helps!


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## BERENICE S

Hello,

Another suggestion :

- il est décédé... (often used in French)

or more simply : "il est mort..."

bye -B.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

BERENICE S said:
			
		

> Hello,
> 
> Another suggestion :
> 
> - il est décédé... (often used in French)
> 
> or more simply : "il est mort..."
> 
> bye -B.


Ou encore "il n'est plus...".


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## marget

anangelaway said:
			
		

> Bonjour Marmotte!
> 
> The more gentle I can think of right now is:
> 
> _Il nous a quitté. _


Just one small point": should quitté be quittés?


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## anangelaway

marget said:
			
		

> Just one small point": should quitté be *quittés*?


 
Well done Marget! Amazing! Absolutely, you've got quite an eye!


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## Marmotte

As an anglophone still learning French nuances, my impression of the following sentences are : 

*Il est mort.* -> He died. 
"Je viens d'apprendre que ton mari est mort récemment."
(not something you would say to someone who just lost a loved one.)

*Il est décéd**é.* -> He deceased.
"Je viens d'apprendre que ton mari est décédé récemment."
(a little more gentle, but perhaps it could be more.)
 
As an anglophone, I have a resistance to the expression "_*Il s'est éteint*_." 
"He turned himself off ?" "He shut himself down ?" "He faded away ?" To me, it sounds like a suicide or that he somehow chose to die.

I think _*"il nous a quittés*_" feels most appropriate and comfortable. But why the "s" at the end?

Here is my attempt at being super-gentil:

_*Je suis vraiment désolé(e) d'apprendre que ton mari nous a quittés récemment.*_

Any comments?


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## Gil

But why the "s" at the end?
It has to agree with "nous" which is plural.
Voir l'accord du participe passé avec le complément d'objet direct avant le verbe.


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## Nath0811

Marmotte said:
			
		

> As an anglophone, I have a resistance to the expression "_*Il s'est éteint*_."
> "He turned himself off ?" "He shut himself down ?" "He faded away ?" To me, it sounds like a suicide or that he somehow chose to die.


 
I understand that as an anglophone, this sounds weird. But it doesn't mean that he turned himself off per se. 
I guess it's an image that his sould has left his body. 
You see that a lot in the obituaries sections in newspapers. "Madame X nous a quittés samedi soir. Elle s'est éteinte à l'âge de 88ans. "


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## Joelline

"Il s'est éteint" is rather like the English "He expired" (which I've always disliked because it make a person sound like a coupon that has reached its expiration date!).


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## ed800uk

>> Can someone tell me a gentle way to say in French that someone had died?

Quite often, both in the press and on radio, "trouver la mort" seems to be used.  It seems to apply to fatality (or fatalities) in a wide range of situations, from violence through accident to illness.

Does this carry that gentleness of expression sought?


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## Marmotte

I agree with you Joelline about the expression "He expired." It sounds so impersonal, I would never use it in English and thus would probably never use "Il s'est eteint" in French either.

As for the expression "trouver la mort," could it be used in the following sense ?

*Je suis désolée d'apprendre que ton mari a trouvé la mort recemment ? 
**
*


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## anangelaway

Marmotte said:
			
		

> I agree with you Joelline about the expression "He expired." It sounds so impersonal, I would never use it in English and thus would probably never use "Il s'est eteint" in French either.
> 
> As for the expression "trouver la mort," could it be used in the following sense ?
> 
> *Je suis désolée d'apprendre que ton mari a trouvé la mort recemment ? *


 
To be honnest, personally I do not even mention any word related to death in that case in French, I would simply say:

*''Je suis sincèrement navrée pour ton mari.'' *
Compte-tenu des circomstances, la personne comprend mon sentiment sans avoir à rajouter, la mort, la perte, le déces, etc... 
But this is my way.


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## xymox

Pour le "s". Il a quitté qui? nous. 
Alors le complément direct étant placé devant, le verbe s'accorde en genre et en nombre. Si les personnes qui parlent sont des femmes: _il nous a quittées._

Anyone willing to translate this explanation into English?


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## Nath0811

If you're talkiong directly to someone, then I agree entirely with anangelaway. No need to remind that this person has passed. 
It's a very polite and gentle way to say you're sorry about the loss.


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## c1wang

anangelaway said:


> Bonjour Marmotte!
> 
> The more gentle I can think of right now is:
> 
> _Il nous a quitté. _


Il nous a quittés.  ?

Merci.


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## CARNESECCHI

jgagnon said:


> Pour le "s". Il a quitté qui? nous.
> Alors le complément direct étant placé devant, le verbe s'accorde en genre et en nombre. Si les personnes qui parlent sont des femmes: _il nous a quittées._
> 
> Anyone willing to translate this explanation into English?


"le participe passé conjugué avec l'auxiliaire avoir, s'accorde en genre et en nombre avec le complément d'objet direct si celui-ci est placé avant"
"The passed participle conjugated with auxiliary "avoir" agrees in number and gender with the object when this one is placed before"


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## c1wang

Is "nous a quittés" an idiom?
I am a woman, my best friend told me that her father has passes away, should I reflect the gender? If not, is it wrongto do it? 

"Elle m'a dite que son père nous a quittées." 

It is logically correct, but do French people use it?

Thank you.


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## jann

Elle m'a dite  que son père nous a quittées 

You cannot add an "e" to _dit_ because it's _dire à qqn_ so you are the indirect object, not the direct object.  There is no agreement with an indirect object. --> _elle m'a dit que..._

The choice to make _quitté_ feminine plural makes it sound as if you and your female friend are the only two whom he has left behind, but in fact he has left this world, so the "nous" could also be understood to be more general and therefore would take only an "s."  I will let the French native speakers comment on whether or not this formulation is used.


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## c1wang

First of all, thank you for the correction - dire à qqn.
Secondly, I am totally convinced to use "Il nous a quittés".
Thanks again.


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## Papa Tango

C'est en tout cas beaucoup mieux que "il a cassé sa pipe" ! S'il s'agit d'une lettre à rédiger, je n'oublierais pas tout de même "l'expression de mes condoléances"


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## c1wang

Papa Tango said:


> C'est en tout cas beaucoup mieux que "il a cassé sa pipe" ! S'il s'agit d'une lettre à rédiger, je n'oublierais pas tout de même "l'expression de mes condoléances"


Could someone translate this for me? I am completely lost. : (
Thank you.


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## PrincessLyka

*"Je suis désolée d'apprendre que ton mari a trouvé la mort recemment ?"*

Personnellement, je n'utiliserais pas cette expression. On dirait que le mari cherchait la mort, comme si c'était un objet, et puis, tout d'un coup, il l'a trouvée... je serais fort vexée et blessée d'entendre cela (désolée, Marmotte!)

L'autre expression "Il s'est éteint" est, pour moi, relative à une personne fort âgée, qui serait décédée de vieillesse, sans maladie, sans accident, sans douleur... la vie s'est juste éteinte comme une bougie qui se serait complètement consumée.

Je suis d'accord avec Anangelaway - éviter le mot "mort" est encore le plus délicat.

Amicalement!


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