# Twenty-something ( Los veinteañeros )



## VenusEnvy

A friend of mine sent me this short essay a little while ago. If you're twenty-something, or remember being twenty-something, read on. Can you relate to this? Do you find it completely wrong? Does being twenty-something means something different in your country?

Una amiga mia me envió este ensayo hace poco tiempo. Si estás en los veinteañeros, o recuerdas estar un veinteañero, sigues leyendo. ¿Puedes relacionar (?) con lo que dice? ¿Lo encuentras completamente equivocado? ¿Ser un veinteañero significa algo diferente en tu país?

Lo siento que este ensayo es en inglés solamente.


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## Benjy

i guess i qualify as a twenty something  i see a little of it in myself and see a lot of it in my friends. i think sometimes i am an old man before my time haha. the bit about getting wasted constantly made me chuckle (what a quaint old word  ) as it has never really had an appeal. i just want to get through uni at the moment. reflecting on what i am doing on this planet has always been something that i have done and i would be lying if i said that moving out and getting older (quelle horreur!) has made me think about those sorts of questions more. 

i don't know if this answers you question mais voilà mon petit grain de sel


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## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Can you relate to this? Do you find it completely wrong? Does being twenty-something means something different in your country?


 
19<24<30 With this equation, I am certain that I belong to this age bracket 

*Aphrodite*, definitely I can relate to this article (Actually I am on this stage right now). IMHO this is the stage wherein we have to face the reality of life, the happiness and sadness; success and failures; love and betrayal. This is the time when we need to make our own choice and that choice would be our guide in finding our right place in our community. Unfortunately, not everyone of us are blessed or are capable of finding our own way.


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## Sev

Hello, 
I'm gonna give you my opinion as a girl in her 20-stg, and as you know girls always are mature sooner than boys   (kidding guys !)

This said, a great part of what's in there was my feeling some 3 ot 5 years ago, when I was less than 20. In particular, things about stop following the crowd, realizing that people around you are selfish and that there are so many things going wrong in the world was much sooner than 20, more around 15 I'd say. Ditto for laughing and crying in the same minute, for secure/insecure...

As for being scared of the future (job, money, where the hell I'm going to be and so on), I'm not scared at all. I'm gonna end my studies in october and have to find a job then, and I chose a job type with a quite high unemployement rate, and still I'm not afraid. I just take life as it comes to me, and we'll see what tomorrow will bring. Of course I sometimes have questions, but I'm not that confused or scared.

And I don't think I'm in my best time of life, I'm sure we can enjoy everytime even if things are very different. For instance, when I talk with friends to know what time did they prefer in school from nursery school to uni, they all have a preferred one when I enjoyed every period of my life and can't choose one.

Hope that answers part of your question   

Feel free to correct any mistakes


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## nuruemp

Hi to all,
Like Sev had, I experienced many of what the article says some years ago, being 16 was the most confusing moment in my life. I still feel a bit insecure about finding my place but things are much better now than in adolescence.


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## Jana337

Oh, I used to be SO confident and firm in my attitudes when I was 16-18. Now, being confronted with the harsh reality, I hanker for the sheltered life of a child and concur with Immanuel Kant: It is so easy to be immature.

On the other hand, life is much more exciting and amusing now.  

 Jana


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## SusieQ

I think that we have all felt this way at least once, but since everyone is different so will be the time when we feel like we do not belong or we have no idea what we are supposed to do with our lives.

Thinking about the future is always scary, no matter if you are 16, 25 or 50, it is better not having to think about the future since we are not exactly sure what is going to happen. We can always hope that things go a certain way but more often what we thought was going to happen didn't and we ended up somewhere else doing other things with other people. This is at least my personal experience.

I think that the scariest time of my life was when I graduated from high-school. I had no Idea what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I had to go to college, if not for me at least for my parents, but it didn't work that way. When I was 19 I never thought that I would get married at 21 and having a child by the age of 22. What I expect from life is so much different that what I expected a few years ago. Still, I think that my life has turned out ok and that after 20 every birthday counts for everything and you start feeling (or at least I do) that you are the only one growing older and that everyone else seems to be the same way forever and that you are the only one who is maturing.

There are somethings that I sometimes feel I should've done different, but if it means giving up my baby, I think I would do the exact same thing over and over again.


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## Sev

SusieQ said:
			
		

> Thinking about the future is always scary, no matter if you are 16, 25 or 50, it is better not having to think about the future since we are not exactly sure what is going to happen. We can always hope that things go a certain way but more often what we thought was going to happen didn't and we ended up somewhere else doing other things with other people.


This is exactly what I find interesting and exciting ! Not knowing were you're going to be and what you're going to do in one year, I just find that great !


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## meili

I am also now in my 20-something and I can say that I very well relate to the thread.  It is amusing to know that there are people, around the world per se, who are sharing the same viewpoints that I have now in my life.  I say that I was so idealistic before, but having gone through all the experiences I have had, I say that life is indeed not a bed of roses - but it is not that bad at all! 

Live life at the moment, yes.  But I have to admit, there are times (especially those times when I am all alone, thinking..thinking..thinking...) - I get scared, unsure.  And then when I set back my mind to where I am right now, the love I have, the friends I made, the family I am with - it is a grand, grand day out there.  I have troubles, and problems, but what the heck!  I am greater than my problems (or some people! haha!) and they were or are there to help me be the best person that I am now - on my 20 something!


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## SusieQ

On Saturday we celebrated my aunt's 50th birthday. It was such a big party and all my aunts and uncles (included my parents) got really drunk. I was amused at how much things have changed within my family. All the cousins are among the same age range. In total there must be at least 10 or 12 cousins that are in their twenties. I remember all those family get togethers where the kids were the ones getting drunk. This party was something special. It made me realize how much my life has changed since I left my parents house. 

Let me explain. When I lived with my parents and did not work or do anything but get a ride for school from my dad, the only reason I got up early was to get to school. When on vacation the perfect day would start at the earliest at 10 in the morning. Now my baby wakes me up at 6:30 AM and that is waking up late for me. I can't honestly say when was the last time that I got up from bed after 8 AM.

But then I think about my best friend, who is as old as I am. She doesn't even have to get up early to get to work since all she does is email the office and she can do so with her pjs still on. Since she is not married and has no children yet her obligations are different. She still needs to provide for herself since she and her sister do not live with their parents, they still need to go shopping for groceries and take care of their house (which they do better than I, I might add) but appart from that, if she feels like buying a new pair of shoes, or going to a movie with a friend, she does not need to ask permission to anyone or has anything holding her back to do as she pleases. In the meantime instead of buying a pair of shoes for myself, just because I like to do so, I have to buy a new pair of shoes for my son because the old one does not fit anymore. If my husband and I would like to go to the movies we need to plan with at least a week anticipation (exagerating of course) to see if my mother or my mother-in-lay is available to take care of the child. I cannot remember when was the last time my husband took me to dance or what is the dance club of this season.

If you ask me, sometimes I feel like I am my mother and it is a scary thought. Not that I do not like my life. I love my husband and my son very much, but sometimes I feel that time has gone too fast for me and that I have missed something. I see my older sister planning her wedding and it makes me want to tell her to wait a little longer. I do not know why but everytime is someone's birthday or a dear friend's wedding I feel very old.

At least if I am lucky enough I will grow old to be like my mom and be 50 years old and have people think that I have just turned 30. I think I am off to a good start since every new person that I meet think that I cannot be older than 18 and that when I talk about my baby they assume I am talking about a pet or a nephew.

I don't know about you but I wish that for once, the world stood still for a moment and let these few years I have left of being twenty-something last a little longer than the first.


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## Phryne

Am I the only one who can't see the article???


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## VenusEnvy

Awww, Phryne! I deleted it after a few weeks of the original post.

I have re-attached it to this post, since the thread has been awakened.


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## meili

Phryne said:
			
		

> Am I the only one who can't see the article???


I also can not see the article MJ.  Bad me   , I think, but I just read the thread and found it really interesting, so I dig in and place my thoughts.
It would be great if it will be visible.
Venus?


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## VenusEnvy

meili said:
			
		

> It would be great if it will be visible.
> Venus?


Done.  




............


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## meili

Now that I have read the essay:

It is indeed me, alright!  

_I am really hurting, my heart, my chest!
Why do I always give people the right to hurt me?
------ 
"I am afraid of what is there."
Goodness! 
Do you think I know, I don't as well.
Are these the people I fell inlove with?
------
I don't hate you.
I hate myself!
I hate myself for not hating you.
------
These 'lies'...
They aren't lies.
These. Are. The. Truth. That. I. Know.

Lines I wrote just last week. Now I am finding myself smiling. (I always love to write).
It is indeed me, alright! 
_


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## marygg

Beautiful lines meili, I can't express my emotions in that way, sometimes I feel that I just can't express myself, that everything is stuck inside me...

I am 23 years old, and everything in that article is true, I'm working, I have one month doing it, and I'm not earning money as I expected, and I don't really sure about the things I want from my life...

Express myself in english is so hard... be patient, thanks


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## VenusEnvy

marygg said:
			
		

> I am 23 years old, and everything in that article is true, I'm working, I have one month doing it, and I'm not earning money as I expected, and I don't really sure about the things I want from my life...


Mary: I feel the same way. I'm in a position right now where I have no idea where I'll be in one year. 



			
				marygg said:
			
		

> Express myself in english is so hard... be patient, thanks


I understood everything! Good!


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## SusieQ

Realmente te expresas muy bien en inglés, solo una corrección:


			
				marygg said:
			
		

> I am 23 years old, and everything in that article is true, I'm working, I have one month doing it, and I'm not earning money as I expected, and I *don't (am not)* really sure about the things I want from my life...
> 
> Express myself in english is so hard... be patient, thanks


 
Se dice: I'm not really sure. (espero que no te moleste)


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## marygg

Gracias Susie, acepto todas las correcciones, si no como voy a mejorar, no me molesta en lo absoluto.


When I was younger I used to dream about study my master degree in other country, now, I'm not sure if I want to go... aaa and my parents don't help me, well they make the effort, and they told me about becoming a great person, but now, I'm not sure the path that I must follow


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## SusieQ

To be honest, I really don't think that parents can do much when their son or daughter is feeling out of place.  It is nice that they try to help, but since they have already overcome this stage of life, they do not know or understand (no matter how hard they try) what it feels like to be you.  And even if they do whatever worked for them usually won't work for you.  This is one of those stages that only you have to figure out.  It's okay and it feels good to know that someone outhere feels the same way you do and that those that have gone through the same thing try to help by giving some sort of advice to you, but as I said before everyone is different and the things that worked for someone may not work for you.  

I know it feels awful to finally realize that there is actually no way that others can get you out of the hole.  That you and you alone have to figure out how to climb out of it.  To finally have to put into practice everything that you have supposedly learned so far.  But after you are able to climb out of that hole by yourserlf, it feels awesome to know that all your efforts paid off and that you are really a stronger person than you thought you were, that you are smarter than you thought and having all those people cheering for you feels great.

So there is nothing to worry if you have no idea what is going to happen.  As long as you have people who love you cheering for you, you can climb out of any hole and get to the top of the mountain before you know it.


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## Benjy

talk to enough people and you realise that jsut about everyone feels the same way. there are just as many insecure 50 year olds as there are 20 year olds. and just as many secure ones. its all about transition. everytime your life changes the same questions come up. just at 20 i guess there seems to be more transition. but find someone who has just moved house, just got divorce, just got married. they all have the same questions, they all think about the same things.

its one of the few thoughts that seems to keep me connected with the teeming masses of humanity that i meet each day


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## odelotj

So, I am a 20-something.  Some of the things in this essay were true for me.  Particularly finding that the people I thought were close really weren't so much.  See, for me, it's a little different.  B/c I am single, and at my age, many of my friends are in serious romantic relationships with somone.  My best friend, I have known for about 15 years, she is getting married.  Well, I'm not even in the wedding party.  I think one of our other friends from High School is, maybe b/c she introduced my friend to her fiancee.  She dropped out of my life a lot when she met this man, and I find that many of my friends are the same.  If they break up, they start to call me again to go out dancing, or to bars.  We just dont have as much in common b/c they are in relatiionships.


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## odelotj

Also, I dont think I'm more judgemental of others, but that's just my nature.  I worry about money, yes.  But then again, I have much more than I had just 5 years ago, which feels nice.  (Too bad I've got enough income now that I can't put off (get defferment) on my student loans   I'm definitely much more in the secure camp, but what I have noticed is that I tend now to listen much more now than talk (and even still I can talk quite a bit! LOL)


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