# Bonne-Maman/Mémé and Bon-Papa/Pépé



## Redmoon

Could someone please explain the difference between Bonne-Maman/Bon-Papa and Mémé/Pépé to mean Grandma and Grandpa?  Is it a question of social class, or is the difference regional?

With thanks,
Redmoon (Olivia)


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## Benoît abroad

Hi Redmoon,

Well, I'll give you a French living in Belgium opinion, not a very strict rule....

"Bonne Maman/Bon-Papa" are not really usual for French people, but so they are in Belgium.

"Mémé/Pépé" are more usual in France, not at all in Belgium.

"Papy/Mamy" are actually the most usual names I've ever heard.

"Grand-Mère/Grand-Père" are a bit formal, maybe used by high educated people.

So, I agree with you, those terms depend on social class and regions: I'm sure Swiss and Canadian say differently....


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## Redmoon

This explains why we called our Belgian grandparents Bonne-Maman and Bon-Papa and our French cousins called their grandparents Mémé Blanche and Pépé Nano.

Redmoon


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## Xavier11222

"Bon-Papa" and "Bonne-Maman" are used in the north of France (by which I mean Lille, not Paris). 
I have always seen "Mamie" spelled with a _y_ but I guess it happens - it seems that the French tend to see the -y/-ie ending as an indication of gender. 
"Grand-père" and "Grand-mère" are the equivalents of "Père" and "Mère", respectively (they're used to refer to the individual more often than they are used to address them; I have much less frequently heard someone call their father "Père" or their mother "Mère" than I have heard "Mother" and "Father" as an address). They have the same less formal equivalents ("Grand-papa" and "Grand-maman"). 
This being said, note that someone from the south of France yelling "Bonne-mère" is _not_ greeting their grandmother.


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## Redmoon

What does Bonne-mère mean?


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## Redmoon

We called our grandparents Bonne-Maman and Bon-Papa and our great-grandmother Grand-Maman.  But our cousins called the same great-grandmother Petite Bonne-Maman.  Very confusing!  Is there any common terminology for great-grandparents, for those lucky enough to have them?


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## Nicomon

Benoit abroad said:


> I'm sure Swiss and Canadian say differently....


 
Actually, most French Canadians I know - count me in - say _grand-maman/grand-papa_ but I think some of the younger ones say _papy/mamy._ 

In the old days, people said _pépère/mémère_, but I doubt that it's very common now. Today, Quebecers use _pépère/mémère_ (especially _pépère_)with other meanings, e.g. someone who lives a very quiet life or (often in an offending way, I'm afraid) to talk about an old person.



Redmoon said:


> We called our grandparents Bonne-Maman and Bon-Papa and our great-grandmother Grand-Maman. But our cousins called the same great-grandmother Petite Bonne-Maman. Very confusing! Is there any common terminology for great-grandparents, for those lucky enough to have them?


 
My son and my sister's children were lucky enough to know our grand-mother before she passed away, at 97 years old.  My son (who's the eldest) said _grand-maman_, just like I did, but the little ones said _vieille, vieille grand-maman_ ... I guess that for them, she indeed looked very old.


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## Redmoon

I learn so much here...


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## Redmoon

But don't Papy and Mamy also mean Dad and Mom?


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## Nicomon

Redmoon said:


> But don't Papy and Mamy also mean Dad and Mom?


 
Now that you mention it... yes. I do sometimes call my own parents _papy and mamie_, though I usually say _papa/maman_.  But I don't know if it's common on the other side of the Atlantic.


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## Redmoon

Nicomon said:


> ... the little ones said _vieille, vieille grand-maman_ ...



Can't imagine that she liked that very much...


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## Benoît abroad

No, a huge majority of people on this side of the Atlantic say "Papa/Maman", not "Papy/Mamy".

And as Xavier said, we write "Mamie" for our Grand-Mother and "Papy" for our Grand-Father.


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## Nicomon

Redmoon said:


> Can't imagine that she liked that very much...


 
They said that when talking about her, not in front of her.  And in answer to your earlier question (post # 5)... in the South of France « _Bonne mère!_ » is a light curse, which - someone will correct if I'm wrong - refers to the Virgin Mary.


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## Redmoon

Then how do little kids say Daddy and Mommy?

In English it's so much more straightforward!!!

Little kids:  Mommy/Daddy, Grandma/Grandpa

Older kids and adults:  Mom/Dad, Grandma/Grandpa


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## Benoît abroad

I'd say "Bonne Mère" is used in the South-East of France to speak about the Virgin, like some people say "Sainte Mère".

"Bonne Mère" is also the nickname of the most famous church in Marseille called "Notre-Dame de la Garde" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Notre-Dame_de_la_Garde).


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## Redmoon

Well, so who says Mémé?  Is that a Paris thing?  A high class thing?  A low class thing--what???


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## Benoît abroad

Not a Paris stuff, neither a high class. Quite usual actually, but less then "Mamie".


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## itka

Redmoon said:


> Well, so who says Mémé?  Is that a Paris thing?  A high class thing?  A low class thing--what???



Mémé and Pépé are beautiful words, unfortunately understood now as popular and low-class words. So, many people don't use them anymore... But, in south France, a lot of my friends (_of friends of mine_ ?) ask their great children to call them so. 
When I have great children, myself I'll do so, too.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

« Oh bonne mère ! » this thread is quite funny.  (and yes, « bonne mère » is a light curse, used in Marseille and around, refering to the Virgin Mary).
I agree with the future _mémé itka_. 
But nowadays, especially for women, those names (pépé/mémé) are far less popular. No doubt it's because there are some expressions like « ça fait mémé » for clothes (it looks like clothes for grandma!)... etc
A lot of grandmas want to be called by their grand children with their firstname or they make a nick by their own (like « mamine » or « mamida »...).
In Corsican we still say "mamo" (for grandma) and "babo" (for grandpa): nice, aren't they?


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## Redmoon

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> there are some expressions like « ça fait mémé » for clothes (it looks like clothes for grandma!)...



Well, in English we have the word "muu-muu" for that kind of dress...  (This means a dress that looks like a tent, not at all tailored.)  I believe it's a Hawaiian word, so probably not at all related etymologically.

See some examples here:

http://www.kristopherdukes.com/images/style_033106.gif

and here:

http://www.mcgilldaily.com/media/images/i_2003_03_24/web_muumuu101.jpg


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## wildan1

Redmoon said:


> In English it's so much more straightforward!!!
> 
> Little kids: Mommy/Daddy, Grandma/Grandpa
> Older kids and adults: Mom/Dad, Grandma/Grandpa


 
Redmoon, I am afraid your statement is a huge oversimplification. Those terms are very common in American English, but others exist side-by-side, chosen on the basis of region, ethnic tradition, and generation:

_mommy/mom_ is typically AE - _mummy/mum_ in Canada and the UK
_mother, mama _and _ma _also are used by some

Many men in the US South call their fathers _daddy_ into adulthood, although this sounds funny to Northerners.

_daddy/dad_ is very common but others will use _pop, poppa, papa,_ _pops_ or_ father._

_grandma _has other variations: _grannie/granny, gram, grammy, oma, yaya,_ etc.

_grandpa_ is one choice among others_: granddad, gramps, grampy,_ _pop-pop, opa, zaydah_, etc.

I'm sure other English-speakers outside the US have many others they know...


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## Redmoon

Yaya?  Never heard of that one.

Also never seen grannie or grampy.

Some of the examples you used are ethnic:  Oma for some families of German descent and Zaydah for some Jewish families.

You're right that "granny" is almost as common as "grandma", although it's applied more to an older woman.  You could have a young grandma but I don't think anyone could have a young granny.

I wonder if Mémé has the same connotation.  Could there be a young Mémé?

Also, the question is... what is the NORM, and what is a VARIATION?

I've called my father "Daddio" but I NORMALLY call him Dad.


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## Albert 50

This is a very interesting discussion.  Customs vary...

When I was a child  it was a time when families were large and grand-parents seemed "very old"  (most died in their 60's from hard physical labor and in the case of women from having many,  many children).

Consequently,  though our families were full of warmth and affection,  our "grand-parents"  were too worn out to enjoy it all.    We felt respect for them but were a little intimidated.  Consequently  (and this was common in our little corner of Canada)  we as children referred to our grand-father  (when talking to him)  as "mon grand-père".  (as in "Bonjour,  mon grand-père")  The use of the possessive was meant to be a sign of respect.  (We also said "Mon oncle"  and "Ma tante".)   

However,  grand'ma was called "Grand-maman"  and we didn't add the possessive...  Go figure!

I do remember that in some families children called grand-parents "Mémère"  and "Pépère"  but it wasn't common.   We didn't use it because our parents would have felt it didn't show sufficient "respect". 

We have swung to the other extreme today -  some children do call their grand-parents by their first name....  Not my cup of tea.   I'm  "grand-papa"  to my mob of grand-children...

Albert


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## Redmoon

So Mémère/Pépère and Grand-maman/Grand-papa are Canadian terms?


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## Albert 50

I never thought that they were Canadian terms only...  but none of the Europeans so far have  claimed them...

Albert


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## wildan1

Redmoon said:


> So Mémère/Pépère and Grand-maman/Grand-papa are Canadian terms?


 
My French grandparents-in-law (born in the 19th Century) were called _Mémère/Pépère _by their grandchildren. They lived in a small village in the East of France.


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## Redmoon

The plot thickens...


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## Redmoon

Albert 50 said:


> ... we as children referred to our grand-father  (when talking to him)  as "mon grand-père".  (as in "Bonjour,  mon grand-père")  The use of the possessive was meant to be a sign of respect.  (We also said "Mon oncle"  and "Ma tante".)
> 
> However,  grand'ma was called "Grand-maman"  and we didn't add the possessive...  Go figure!



"Mon" is a sign not only of respect but of distance.  Drop the "mon" and it adds intimacy.  (Grandmas are usually more huggable than grandpas, uncles and aunts--please nobody clobber me for this statement!)


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## micka

As far as I'm concerned, I say "pépé" and "mémé" and I probably always will (I live in the south east of France).


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## Redmoon

Here's a _bon mot_ from a French cousin of mine when I told him about our discussion:

"Mon père est maire, mon frère est masseur, et ma mémé est une pépée."


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## Punky Zoé

My two cents 


Redmoon said:


> So Mémère/Pépère and Grand-maman/Grand-papa are Canadian terms?


I heard my nephews call their great-grandparents, pépère and mémère, and it was really surprising  (they were words inherited from Saumur country).

I think, nowadays,  papy and mamie are widespread. But in my own family, my grandnephews call my sister "mémé", my brother-in-law "pépé", and my mother "mamie" (their great-grandmother) (it does sound weird to me).

And around here, you may hear "amatchi" for mamie and "atatchi" for papy, coming from basque vocab...


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