# Using a foreign language in your home country = showing off?



## jester.

Yesterday I was in a Spanish restaurant. My father wanted me to talk to the waiter in Spanish. I didn't exactly want to do this, because to me it felt like bragging.

My father thinks:

- I should take advantage of the occasion to speak Spanish.
- I learn it to use it, not to hide it.


I think:

- It's like showing off (Look, look, I can speak Spanish)
- The Spanish waiter learned German in order to speak to his guests
- There are enough occasions to use Spanish (here, on holiday)

(The first one is what bothers me most)


Finally I did talk to the waiter in Spanish (I ordered some bread and our drinks). Although he seemed positively surprised, he didn't really join me in speaking Spanish but still preferred to speak German to me.


What are your opinions on this topic?


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## Etcetera

We sometimes use English in the University when chatting at break, especially after our English classes - just because some time is needed to switch back to Russian.  
But speaking to a waiter in a restaurant in his native language - it's more like showing off, to me...


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## mansio

Even when you speak your native language you may be showing off.

When I travelled in Turkey (a long time ago) with my girlfriend, we met a French-speaking Turkish student in Istanbul. 
He introduced us to a group of his friends. At one moment, one of them addressed me in Turkish in a very aggressive manner. 
As I could not understand Turkish, I asked our friend what was wrong with that guy. 
He told me that his friend wanted me to speak Turkish like everyone else and stop showing off by pretending I could only speak French. He had mistaken me for a Turk.


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## panjabigator

I always tend to speak in Hindi with friends that I know can speak it, and it probably comes off pompous to people who do not know me.  But when they do eventually realize that I am a language freak, things are alright.


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## Outsider

Perhaps the waiter wanted to make sure that everyone in your table understood him, not just you. It doesn't seem practical to speak Spanish in a Spanish restaurant located in Germany. And, although the restaurant specializes in Spanish cuisine, there could be waiters who were not Spaniards working there!


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## la reine victoria

I'm not ashamed to admit that I show off all the time on my island, which receives visitors from all over the world.

Only yesterday I was on the bus to my nearest town to do some shopping. I saw some coins on the floor so asked the two young girls across the gangway from me if they had dropped their money. They didn't understand me, but picked the money up. Then they decided, since it wasn't theirs, to put it back on the floor. "Etes-vous Francaises?" I asked. They shook their heads. "Sind sie Deutsches?" "Ja!" they replied. So I told them, in my rusty German, to keep the money. They smiled and thanked me.

When I lived in London a car pulled up beside me one day. "Pour aller à Piccadilly Circus s'il vous plait?" asked the driver. "Vous ne parlez pas anglais?" I replied. "Malheureusement, non," said the driver. So off I went in French and gave him some fairly complicated directions, which his wife wrote down. "Ca m'étonne!" said the driver, "de trouver une Anglaise qui parle si bien le francais!"

Needless to say I spent the rest of the day with a swollen head but, who knows, maybe the couple are still looking for Piccadilly Circus.  



LRV
always
willing
to
help.


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## ukuca

As in Russia, speaking French was once very popular among the high society in Turkey. Because it the last period, Ottoman Empire made its major trade with French merchandisers. So speaking French was simply a symbol of belonging to high society.This still has some influence I guess. Lots of people speak English since it has been taught in the colleges and high scools, so English does not have the same effect. In general, I guess people appreciate the ones who know a foreign language.


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## jester.

Those are nice experiences, LRV, but not exactly comparable. You tried to communicate. But in my case, the waiter spoke German (and Spanish, as I said). So it's a bit different.


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## la reine victoria

j3st3r said:
			
		

> Those are nice experiences, LRV, but not exactly comparable. You tried to communicate. But in my case, the waiter spoke German (and Spanish, as I said). So it's a bit different.


 

In which case, with all due respect J3st3r, you should have changed the title of your thread. You can't expect to have a cultural discussion based on one experience in a Spanish restaurant where the waiter spoke German.

Your thread title is "Using a foreign language in your home country - showing off?" Not "Speaking Spanish in a Spanish restaurant in Germany - showing off?"



Sincerely,
LRV


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## jester.

You're indeed right. Because I, like you, approve of the use of language that you described.

Maybe the thread title should be "Using a foreign language without a real purpose"?


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## Philippa

Hi Jester,
I had an experience that was exactly the opposite to yours. When we were eating at a Spanish restaurant I wanted to speak Spanish, I could hear the waitresses speaking Spanish to each other, but I never plucked up the courage to, partly because I knew they weren't expecting me to and yes, I know what you mean about feeling like you're showing off. Afterwards I felt annoyed with myself - partly for being a such a wimp!  - but also because I think maybe it might be nice to show hispanohablantes who are living and working in your country that you are learning their language and are interested (possibly because it's quite rare here). I think this was the time when Belén told me I should speak Spanish every time I got the chance!!  
I did try to speak Spanish in a tapas restaurant before and I asked the wrong question (I wouldn't want to just jump in with Spanish in Britain!). I think I said ¿Hablas español? but I think the waitress may well have been Italian or something!! In future I would be as brave as possible and ask ¿Eres hispanohablante? ¿Podría pedir en español?
Un saludo atrevido
Philippa


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## ampurdan

I think "¿hablas español?" is good enough a way to break the ice. (By the way, is this correct: "good enough a..."?).


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## Outsider

Outsider said:
			
		

> Perhaps the waiter wanted to make sure that everyone in your table understood him, not just you. It doesn't seem practical to speak Spanish in a Spanish restaurant located in Germany.


On the other hand, perhaps your father is proud that his son can speak a foreign language, and _he_ would like to show off.


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## gotitadeleche

ampurdan said:
			
		

> I think "¿hablas español?" is good enough a way to break the ice. (By the way, is this correct: "good enough a..."?).



¿hablas español?" is a good enough a way to break the ice.


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## ampurdan

Thank you, Gotita!


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## la reine victoria

I don't consider it to be actually "showing off" if you can speak to a foreign person in their native language in your home country.  They are usually very grateful if they have only a few words of the language of your country.


This happened to me while touring round Greece for the first time.  It was a last minute invitation from a boyfriend to join him, so I had no time to prepare myself.

He spoke Greek reasonably well;  I didn't speak a word.  I was so grateful when I had to ask a Greek lady where the toilets were - she spoke English and was proud to "show off" to me.

Within a short time I picked up sufficient Greek to converse with the locals in a basic way.




LRV


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## Pivra

I am more or less fluent in both Thai and English, I but when I went to Thailand, I did not speak a word in English except once when I was at home and someone from Canada phoned me. When I am in Canada, I speak Thai with Thai people but if they too can speak English fluently I would speak to them in English in public places. I don't know why, but I am very good at conforming and I want to be the same.


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## panjabigator

I thought about it, and I think that sometimes I kind of do seem a little showy -offy. Right before Spanish class begins, I usually call my mother and father to wish them a good day and see how things are (I talk to my family 5 million times a day).  Sometimes people are so astounded to hear me speak and I become very very shy and leave the room to speak.  So sometimes I try and consciously speak in English when in a public place so not to draw attention.


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## panjabigator

Outsider said:
			
		

> On the other hand, perhaps your father is proud that his son can speak a foreign language, and _he_ would like to show off.


 My father and mother do this to me all the time. If I am with them and there is company the topic always arises that I can speak Hindi/Urdu and Panjabi. Then theymention Spanish, and everyone just stops and stares at me.


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## belén

I like to speak the languages I am learning, I have so much fun with it, so of course I try to speak in Chinese in a Chinese restaurant and German in the German supermarket next to my house. I don't pretend to show off (basically because my Chinese and my German are so bad that I am actually doing the opposite of showing off..) but to have a tiny conversation that will make feel great because I was able to ask for the check and they understood!!!

And I also think it is nice for the guy in the German supermarket or the Chinese waiter to hear me speak their languages, it is a nice way to say "Your language/culture/country interests me" 

But come think of it, speaking in English is something I wouldn't do, say, in an English pub... (unless the waiter didn't speak Spanish, of course), because speaking in English isn't something strange or exciting, I do it everyday at work, or talking with some of my friends, so it lacks the "fun part" that the other languages have...

Be

Edit: J3st3r: Do you want me to change the title to the one you suggested?


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## jester.

belen said:
			
		

> Edit: J3st3r: Do you want me to change the title to the one you suggested?



Only if you, as a moderator, think that necessary. I don't mind the title.


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## ireney

Well if I suddenly decided to talk in another language to my Greek friends yes, that would be showing off. On the other hand, I've noticed that even French feel happy when I talk to them in French (which in my case means that the language is getting thoroughly butchered), the Turks love the fact that I know some Turkish expressions etc.

And a tip; if you go to a Greek restaurant anywhere (up to and including Greece) and the waiter is indeed Greek and you speak Greek they'll be as happy as can be. Just be prepared for some Med enthusiasm though.


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## Philippa

belen said:
			
		

> I also think it is nice for the guy in the German supermarket or the Chinese waiter to hear me speak their languages, it is a nice way to say "Your language/culture/country interests me"


Exactly!


			
				ampurdan said:
			
		

> I think "¿hablas español?" is a good enough way to break the ice.


Ah, but I think I ended up ordering in Spanish and her replying in Spanish when for neither of us it was our first language, and that's a bit silly!!
P


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## ireney

ampurdan see? A smile just appeared in  my face the minute I read this 3 words!


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## Silvia B

Hello everybody! What a nice discussion...
Well, I want to add my point of view as well.

I am Italian, I speak a little French (I almost forgot it as I don't use it often) and English.
I love other languages and I'd like to use them as much as possible! Anyway, I also had this "showing off" problem when I started working in an office. I really wanted to sound good in an English telephone conversation but I had the feeling that everybody around me was listening and judging..and sometimes I had the feeling that they looked at me like: "who do you think you are...". I am pretty shy and I was so scared when I had to phone!
But , hey! I am doing that for myself (and not to show off) - because, yes, I am studying for something!!! and it's useful and nice! So I completely changed and I am confident now.
It's a nice sensation.  

By the way, when an Italian meet someone (here - or all over around the world!) who tries to speak Italian he is simply HAPPY!  that's nice and we accept all kind of mistakes..
we are just glad that someone is making the effort and it's a wonderful thing. 
So...speak Italian whenever you want, it's always well accepted!
Just a little note for English, instead: I am tired to call in England and find people who talk as fast as they can just because they want to see how much I can understand (or how much I CAN'T understand..)...that's pretty rude!
You just should be glad that all the world is doing his best to speak your language... ok?

bye bye!!


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## CrazyIvan

I speak in English in Taiwan all the time, if the people I am speaking to can understand English fairly well.

I know people may consider I am showing off, however, English has become a comfortable language for me to express some ideas, which I can never express them properly either in Mandarine or Taiwanese. 

Those who speak English with me usually can speak Chinese at the same time. However, they agree with me, that after using English for a long time, sometimes they would rather use English to express themselves. 

Are we showing off? I do not know. But we just try to find the most 'comfortable' way to communicate with each other.


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## jester.

Very interesting, CrazyIvan.

How come you can express your thoughts better in English than in your mother tongue? Are the two languages so different that they can't be used for the same purposes?


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## coconutpalm

I agree with CrazyIvan that I sometimes find it more comfortable to speak in English a few words, but in my case, definitely not all the conversation. 

I remember some forero said that it makes us more comfortable to speak a foreign language when you're in an embarassing situation. I think it's true.

In my opinion, if you are in a group of friends, and there is a foreigner that is new to this group and who cannot speak your language, it shows your respect to him/her if you speak his/her language if you can. 

However, my experience tells me that we cannot always remember this, and sometimes that you are not able to do that.
At the end of the last term, our class went for an outing. There were three foreign teachers with us, and there were always several students talking with them, explaining to them the words in Chinese carved or written on those temples, stones, etc. Not all of us spoke English though. 
In this case, I don't think we were neglecting them, or showing disrespect. We were going out for fun, and we cannot feel comfortable if we speak in a foreign language, especially when we cannot fully express our excitement in English. 
Interestingly enough, two female teachers were always asking us questions, and talking to the students around them, while the male teacher kept silence, and only talked when talked to. As a result, those two female teachers enjoyed greatly and the male teacher found it not as interesting.

I don't think it's showing off to speak a foreign language in my home country. I think it's showing off if you don't consider the different feelings/attitudes/educational backgrouds of other people around you.


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## CrazyIvan

To J3st3r:

  you are so right...that is what I feel about Madrine and English.

  English has a better logic struture, Or, I should say, expression of causaul relationship....Therefore, in an argument, or say, a discussion of a serious event, I would tend to say in English rather than in Mandrine. I find myself having limited ability to argue in Mandrine. Not because my Mandrine proficiency is not good, it is simply because this is not a language for arguments.

  With family, I speak Taiwanese mainly, a language makes me feel relaxing....and, well, as coconutplam said, my emotion can be better-expressed in that language.


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## Vero1978

Hi! I'm a newcomer, but I want to add my point of view to this thread... 
I'm an Italian, living in Milan, but I'm often travelling to Rome, since my boyfriend lives there.
I speak english quite nice, and when I meet foreign people I try to speak english. Sometimes I feel that American and english people, simply expect you to answer them in english, and if they think that you language is not so fluent, they seem to have pity on you. This make me furious!
French german or even italian (e.g.me) are always astonished and excited when someone reply them in their language... I think that speking to the waiter in spanish is a nice surprise for him, and a good exercise for you!


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## natasha2000

mansio said:
			
		

> Even when you speak your native language you may be showing off.
> 
> 
> 
> Not exactly. Because.....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> He had mistaken me for a Turk.
> 
> Click to expand...
Click to expand...

 
I think you're right, generally speaking. The waiter learnt German in order to be able to work in Germany. Although a few words it would be ok, because it can look cute. I worked for a while in a hotel as a receptionist, and I met few people from various countries that spoke Serbian. They spoke to me some sentences, or even only words in Serbian, and the rest of out conversation about their rooms etc was lead in either Spanish or English, depending on the language that person spoke. I know that the example is not exactly the same, but it is very similar.

So, if you just asked bread in Spanish and the rest of conversation was in German, I, personally, would consider it cute and not showing-off.


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## natasha2000

CrazyIvan said:
			
		

> I speak in English in Taiwan all the time, if the people I am speaking to can understand English fairly well.
> 
> I know people may consider I am showing off, however, English has become a comfortable language for me to express some ideas, which I can never express them properly either in Mandarine or Taiwanese.
> 
> Those who speak English with me usually can speak Chinese at the same time. However, they agree with me, that after using English for a long time, sometimes they would rather use English to express themselves.
> 
> Are we showing off? I do not know. But we just try to find the most 'comfortable' way to communicate with each other.


 
If you normally use English and not your mother tongue, no matter if you are in your native country or in a foreign one, I think it is normal that you start expressing better yourself in that language than in your own. I has the similar experience. The first three years of my living in Spain, I onlys spoke Spanish, and not a word of Serbian. When I went back to Serbia for a visit, I found it very difficult to express myself in Serbian in any matter beyond the use of language in shops or restaurants. Every time I opened my mouth, Spanish came out.
But I am sure if you started to use only Mandarine, after some time you wouldn't have any problem to express yourself just as well as in English now.


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## venenum

Hi! 

Here's a great example of showing off: I'm a university student English and German, and some of my fellow students have spent a couple of years (2-10) in Germany. These girls tend to show off by speaking German everywhere, and I don't mean just inserting words (this happens to all of us, sometimes the native word has a too broad or too narrow context, it doesn't pinn down the exact meaning you need as a foreign does), but carrying on the whole conversation in German, and it isn't because they  need to practice it - they're way better in German than the rest of us - it's just plain showing off - "Look at me, I can speak German and you can't", and it starts to be totally annoying after a while.


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## mytwolangs

Silvia B said:
			
		

> You just should be glad that all the world is doing his best to speak your language... ok?
> 
> bye bye!!


 
Yeah, English speakers tend to expect everyone to know ENG. We take it for granted I guess.I tend to think of it as the world's "rude" language. 

NOW about the showing off? Well if an opportunity arises  to use a lang you study, then why not jump at the chance? Most of us don't get many chances to use our other langs. 

AND - people show off all the time.


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## panjabigator

> Originally Posted by *Silvia B*
> You just should be glad that all the world is doing his best to speak your language... ok?
> 
> bye bye!!



I am glad.  It means a lot to me really.  I just wish we put the same effort forward.


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## Silvia B

panjabigator said:
			
		

> I am glad.  It means a lot to me really.  I just wish we put the same effort forward.





> Yeah, English speakers tend to expect everyone to know ENG. We take it for granted I guess.I tend to think of it as the world's "rude" language.



Thanks..
I was refering more to English than Americans actually... 
I don't mean to be rude but, really, I think English really mean to tease us when we try to communicate...
I am leaving for Ireland tomorrow.. I hope I will find nice people and I hope they will be not bored by listening to my timid English (I actually speak pretty well but I always get shy when I find a "real" English speaker!!  )

If some English from UK want to share their point of view...

ciao !!!


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## panjabigator

Well be confidant and do not be afraid to make any mistakes!  That is how you'll improve!


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## ladybird

Silvia B said:
			
		

> Thanks..
> I was refering more to English than Americans actually...
> I don't mean to be rude but, really, I think English really mean to tease us when we try to communicate...
> I am leaving for Ireland tomorrow.. I hope I will find nice people and I hope they will be not bored by listening to my timid English (I actually speak pretty well but I always get shy when I find a "real" English speaker!!  )
> 
> If some English from UK want to share their point of view...
> 
> ciao !!!


 
Ciao Silvia

It sounds like you have not had a pleasant experience in trying to communicate with the English!

I'm not sure what the circumstances were that led you to the conclusion that the English are mean, maybe you just came into contact with some nasty ones!

I'm from London as you can see and I feel that most Londoners are only to willing to help visitors to our city, although this helpful attitude sometimes changes depending on which part of London you visit.

There will always be those who assume that every foreigner should know how to speak fluent English but I would have thought that they would be in the minority..or is that wishful thinking on my part? 

Sorry, have just realised this may be off-topic...


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## ireney

Well when I went to GB most people did their best to speak clearly and slowly for me to understand. In fact they overdid it in my case but I found it very polite of them. However it is not easy to always 'control' the way you speak in your native language.

In such cases (or when first talking to some people with thick Scottish or Irish accent) I just made it clear that I didn't understand and they would always repeat what they had just said after _apologising_!  

There are always exceptions of course but I could say the same for the Italians and French I've met (although most of them raked their brains to find simple enough words for me to understand; thank Heavens we and the Italians share so many gestures, that's all I'm going to say for my level of  Italian!)


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## natasha2000

Hmm... I think we're straying off topic here....
The topic is speaking foreign language in your country and not how do natives help or do they help to foreigners who are visiting their country....

Back to the topic, as I saw here some comments that some people when finishing the class of English, they still speak for a while in English, being in their native country....
This is impossible to happen in Serbia. It would be considered as a biggest and worst showing off, and if someone did this among us, and everybvody would make fun of this person.

Even among the people who live in other country, they would always speak in Serbian among themselves. Maybe some foreign words would be inserted from now and then in the sentence, but it would still be the conversation in Serbian.
On the other hand, if we have only one foreigner in the company, we would speak the language he/she understands, and only then we would speak among ourselves in a foreign language. The only reason to do that is so the foreigner can understand everything it is said.
If he/she goes away, automatically we pass to speak Serbian.


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## Tatzingo

Silvia B said:
			
		

> Thanks..
> I was refering more to English than Americans actually...
> I don't mean to be rude but, really, I think English really mean to tease us when we try to communicate...
> I am leaving for Ireland tomorrow.. I hope I will find nice people and I hope they will be not bored by listening to my timid English (I actually speak pretty well but I always get shy when I find a "real" English speaker!!  )
> 
> If some English from UK want to share their point of view...
> 
> ciao !!!



Silvia, 

I'm sorry that your experience with the English hasn't been more pleasant. But consider this... maybe it is just the call centre environment that you work in... you know how difficult and rude customers can be ;-)

I personally don't "tease" non-natives when they try to communicate, I actually go out of my way to try and help them find the right word, understand etc. I might grin or smile if they say something funny but I won't be laughing at their attempt at communicating in English...  

Whilst I'm not seeking to persuade you that all English people are considerate when communicating with foreigners in English, I do ask you to consider that non siamo tutti uguali, gli inglesi che conosco io sono tra le persone piu' cortesi e comprehensive che ho mai conosciuto. Keep going, I'm sure you'll meet a friendlier Englishman soon!!

Tatz.


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## geve

There was a thread named Are English speaker lazy? that could interest you Silvia


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## zena168

I think unless you're trying to impress someone or establish rapport with that person's cultural identity.  It does feel rather corny to communicate in a language that's infrequently used at the location.  (Unless you're in a Spanish class located in Germany~!)


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## KaRiNe_Fr

A une époque, parler anglais en essayant d'avoir un accent pas trop français était vu comme du snobisme en France. Du coup, pour ne pas faire trop chic, même ceux qui n'ont pas un accent trop pourri se forcent à parler avec un accent bien français quand ils parlent anglais. Je n'ai jamais compris pourquoi. Le titre de ce fil donne peut-être une réponse ! 

Edit : Il est tard, je me permets de parler français...


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## geve

KaRiNe_Fr said:
			
		

> A une époque, parler anglais en essayant d'avoir un accent pas trop français était vu comme du snobisme en France. Du coup, pour ne pas faire trop chic, même ceux qui n'ont pas un accent trop pourri se forcent à parler avec un accent bien français quand ils parlent anglais. Je n'ai jamais compris pourquoi. Le titre de ce fil donne peut-être une réponse !
> 
> Edit : Il est tard, je me permets de parler français...


This is very true! Using a foreign language in your home country, _and_ with a good accent, sounds like showing off!! (with non-natives of that foreign language, that is  )

-- Me gustaría fardar en español, pero no hablo bastante bien


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## CrazyIvan

Actually, an idea comes into my mind today. I think this is a unique situation in Taiwan.

We are a grounp of people classified as "oversea chinese" or say, "oversea Taiwanese" They are either the second generation of those who emigrate to English-speaking nations, or they move over there in their childhood. So, Mandarine is not the language they are familiar with, although they looks exactly the same as ordinary Taiwanese.

On the street while you seeing them speaking in English, the public may have the impression that they are showing off, however, they have no other language to use. Mandarine will be too awakward for them, not even mentioned Taiwanese. 

I think this is a bit off topic....But I still believe people can choose the language they are comfortable to use,as long as the counterpart of their communication wound not feel offended.


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## la coccinelle

If speaking a foreign language is natural or fun for you, you should be able to speak it without worrying. I love challenging myself by speaking as much french as possible, sometimes with my fellow french students outside of classtime. I do not think that this should be viewed as showing off.


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## HUMBERT0

And it also happens that some people are rude.
I live in a border region, and often Mexican-Americans come this side of the border, and many speak both languages, and I do notice that when they are around spanish speaking people they use english, and when they are around english speaking people they begin to talk in spanish. 
I use spanish in my city, however when I cross the border the language that I use is english, unless when I talk with my folks who only understand spanish or to other monolingual spanish speakers.


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