# Я соскучилась vs. скучаю по тебе



## Zagga Dotchni

Hello. Is there any difference in meaning between 'Я скучаю по тебе' and 'Я соскучилась'?


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## Ptak

Of course there is. In "я соскучилась" you don't indicate *who *you miss


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## WordOrder

_Я скучаю по тебе — I'm missing you._
_Я соскучилась — I've missed you._


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## Sobakus

Ptak said:


> Of course there is. In "я соскучилась" you don't indicate *who *you miss



I suppose по тебе in the topic's name refers to both verbs. There's no difference in meaning, aside from the obvious aspect/tense difference.


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## Saluton

WordOrder said:


> _Я скучаю по тебе — I'm missing you._
> _Я соскучилась — I've missed you._


I'm sorry, but this is bad English. They say "I miss you" in both cases.
As for the meaning, there's hardly any difference. Соскучиться literally means "to start missing" but the phrases are really synonymous.


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## septentrionalis

Я соскучилась = я соскучила-сь (reflexive marker) presents s-one's internal condition, it describes sth that is inside, the subject (subject's inner state), without naming the object. 
I guess the particle -сь is also added here to avoid deliberately any mentioning of the object, to make the verb intransitive.
Я скучаю по тебе - the object of feeling is indicated clearly. So it could be considered as a possible answer to the hipotetical question: "О ком ты (так) скучаешь?"


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## Saluton

septentrionalis said:


> Я скучаю по тебе - the object of feeling is indicated clearly. So it could be considered as a possible answer to the hipotetical question: "О ком ты (так) скучаешь?"


"Я скучаю по тебе". Hence, "по ком скучаешь", not о ком. But that's a different issue.


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## septentrionalis

"По ком ты скучаешь?"
In oral speech this first syllable is often unhearable. 


> But that's a different issue.


upd here more: http://www.rg.ru/2004/09/24/skuchaem.html


> Но могли они, впрочем, "скучать о доме" - такое тоже позволено. "Скучать о чем-то или о ком-то".


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## Zagga Dotchni

Thanks for the replies. It seems that there is negligible difference in meaning between the two. Am I right in thinking я скучаю always needs an object and Я соскучилась never has an object?


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## Sobakus

Я скучаю's intransitive meaning is "i'm bored", so yes you need an object, but in the second case it's optional and has the same preposition.


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## Ptak

Zagga Dotchni said:


> Am I right in thinking я скучаю always needs an object and Я соскучилась never has an object?


No.
You can say "Я скучаю" (meaning both you are bored and you miss someone) as well as "Я соскучилась по тебе".


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## Selyd

In Ukrainian:
Я скучив за тобою - I miss you
Я скучила за тобою - I miss you
Я знуджуся без тебе - I shall miss without you (*знудитися* or *знудитися*)


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## Selyd

Простите, не туда зашел.


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## morzh

Saluton said:


> I'm sorry, but this is bad English. They say "I miss you" in both cases.
> As for the meaning, there's hardly any difference. Соскучиться literally means "to start missing" but the phrases are really synonymous.



Who are "they"? As far as I'm concerned, at least "I'm missing you" is quite OK, so much so that a song exists that is named exactly that.

And as in Russian we do not really formally discern between continuous and repetitive action, "я скучаю по тебе" may be translated both ways, "I miss you" and "I am missing you". Later however meaning more of a feeling felt at the moment of the conversation (often said over the phone to the person being missed), whereas the former is just a general persistent feeling of missing someone.

Now "I've missed you" is another matter but it is still not a "bad English". It is just it cannot stand for "я по тебе соскучился" in all cases, as this in Russian may be said in the sense "я по тебе скучаю" (и продолжаю скучать) and "я по тебе скучал" (но ты уже здесь).

When you say something is "bad English" you have to elaborate a bit on what you actually mean by that. And, last but not least, what's bad English in some place may be quite acceptable somewhere else.


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## englishman

morzh said:


> Who are "they"? As far as I'm concerned, at least "I'm missing you" is quite OK, so much so that a song exists that is named exactly that.



"I miss you"
"I'm missing you"
"I missed you"
"I've missed you"
"I'll miss you"
"I would miss you"

etc, are all perfectly good English, in the right circumstance.


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## morzh

englishman said:


> "I miss you"
> "I'm missing you"
> "I missed you"
> "I've missed you"
> "I'll miss you"
> "I would miss you"
> 
> etc, are all perfectly good English, in the right circumstance.



This is, in a nutshell, what I was trying to say. Thanks for summarizing it


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## nydownes

morzh said:


> Who are "they"? As far as I'm concerned, at least "I'm missing you" is quite OK.



Actually, "I'm missing you" is NOT correct English.  Subject + "to be" + verb+ing are known as the Progressive or Continuous tenses.  These tenses cannot be used with Stative verbs.  There are two kinds of verbs: Stative and Dynamic.  

"miss" can be used both as Dynamic and as Stative.  But in the sense that you long for someone, or wish to be with someone it is a STATE (it is how a person feels).

"I MISS you" NOT "I am missing you"
"I MISSED you" NOT "I was missing you" 
"I WILL MISS you" NOT "I will be missing you"

However, "miss" can be used as a dynamic verb in some cases.

"This deck of cards is missing all the queens."  
"I am missing my classes to travel to Moscow"

In these cases "miss" is a dynamic verb.



morzh said:


> ...so much so that a song exists that is named exactly that.



About this... I try to explain this to my students all the time.  Just because you hear it in a song does not make it "correct" English.  

Popular song titles:

You Haven't Done Nothin' - Stevie Wonder
The Way I Are – Timbaland
Nuthin' But A G Thang - Dr. Dre
Lay Down Sally - Eric Clapton
It Don't Matter To Me – Bread
Ain't No Woman (Like The One I've Got) - The Four Tops
(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones

So, let's not use "I heard it in a song" to justify the "correctness" of English structures.

On a side note, "I'm Loving It" the popular slogan for McDonald's is also bad grammar.  McDonald's is not the best place to learn grammar either!

Another thing I say to students when they ask me "what does 'ain't' mean?" is that you need to learn what bad grammar is and what is intended by the speaker so you can understand people that speak (or sing) that way.  But you should always speak and write to the best of your ability.  And unless you want to get into a fight, don't correct native speakers (that you do not know personally).


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## toutey

"I'm missing you" sounds strange as a phrase by itself.  If you give it more context, it sounds fine to me.  

Example:

"I know I said I wouldn't miss you once you left, but now that you have, I find that I'm missing you after all. [I find myself missing you after all. / I find that I miss you after all.]"


Similarly, "I've been missing you" sounds strange by itself, but if it had the right context, I wouldn't bat an eye at it.

Example:
"Man, it's great to see you again!  I've been missing you ever since we graduated. [I've missed you ever since we graduated.]"


So, I'm inclined to agree with englishman's assessment.


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## nydownes

morzh said:


> And, last but not least, what's bad English in some place may be quite acceptable somewhere else.



This says it best.  However, "it sounds right" is not a helpful response when a student asks "why" pertaining to grammar.  

Certainly a lot of people in the US use "ain't" as a grammatical structure.  To these people is "sounds fine".  It is not correct grammar.

"I could of been a rock star."  Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"Tom and me are going to the movie." Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"Ikea said they would have a sale this week."  Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"The dog hid it's bone."  Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"Did you do good on your exam?"  Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"Who do you agree with?" Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"I ain't got none." Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.
"I am missing you." Sounds fine?  Grammatically it is wrong.

I stand by the advice to learn whatever language it is you are studying to the best of your ability.  Learn the correct structures.  Do your best.  We all make mistakes in out native languages and you will make mistakes in the ones you learn.  

If it is too complicated, then skip it.  Learning is a process, if your mind is not ready for something just go on.  You can always revisit the theme in a couple of months.


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## RhoKappa

I often travel to Ukraine, and people there say it differently.  Instead of скучать по тебе, they say instead скучать за тобой or скучать без тебя.


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## learnerr

RhoKappa said:


> I often travel to Ukraine, and people there say it differently.  Instead of скучать по тебе, they say instead скучать за тобой or скучать без тебя.


The second is Russian (too high-stylish for many occasions, though), the first is not.


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