# sorry / excuse me / pardon / what / what please [when didn't hear]



## Erik 182

Hello there,

When I speak to somebody and I don't hear her/him clearly *what possibilities are there to say*?

I'm sure that I can use:
- (I'm) Sorry.
- (I beg your) Pardon.
- What? What was that? What was that you said? What are you saying?
- Excuse me.

Please *confim me* that I can use these terms in this situation!

I often hear "excuse me" when I know and understand what the other person said but I'm surprised at it because for instance her words were hurting. In this case *I can also use the other terms* (pardon, sorry etc)?

Thanks


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## You little ripper!

Erik 182 said:
			
		

> Hello there,
> 
> When I speak to somebody and I don't hear her/him clearly *what possibilities are there to say*?
> 
> I'm sure that I can use:
> - (I'm) Sorry.
> - (I beg your) Pardon.
> - What? What was that? What was that you said? What are you saying?
> - Excuse me.
> 
> Please *confim me* that I can use these terms in this situation!
> 
> I often hear "excuse me" when I know and understand what the other person said but I'm surprised at it because for instance her words were hurting. In this case *I can also use the other terms* (pardon, sorry etc)?
> 
> Thanks


Hi Erik,

You can use all of those. I wouldn't use "What?" with a stranger or a much older person tho'. It is considered a little impolite.

Charles


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## morgoth2604

As for other possibilities, I guess you could try:

Come again?, could you repeat that? or just the famous "huh?"


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## judkinsc

The suggestions are all good, in my opinion, but I would add that "excuse me?" is sometimes a little pointed, and I'd prefer the others.

i.e. A teacher overhears some kid saying something he shouldn't be and says "excuse me?!"

Or, someone mutters a perjorative under their breath and the offended person says "Excuse me?!"


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## swim4life

When I was a child, I was taught with the “standard” English textbook in China that if you didn’t catch what people said, you can ask him or her to repeat by asking, “I beg your pardon?”
 
When I grew up, I noticed that native speakers of English seldom (or never) say “I beg your pardon?” in this situation. Instead they say, “Sorry?”, “What did you say?” or “Excuse me?” I’m just curious which one is the most commonly used expression in this situation. Thanks.


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## ewie

You're right: people rarely say the full _I beg your pardon?_ any more.  I still think that the abbreviated _Pardon?_ is the politest option for this.  _What?_ is the least polite; the others you mention fall in the middle of the spectrum.
(I'm talking about British English here.  We don't tend to say _Excuse me?_ nearly as much as our American cousins.)


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## natkretep

You can also say, 'Come again?' which is relatively polite. On par with 'Sorry?'


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## swim4life

Thank you all. Really appreciate it. 

What's the most commonly used American expression in this situation? Many thanks.


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## pob14

I think Ewie is correct that in the US, "Excuse me?" is the most common.  "What?" is less polite, but gaining in popularity.


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## idialegre

And of course, there's "Huh?", which is popular in my circles, at least.


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## swim4life

idialegre said:


> And of course, there's "Huh?", which is popular in my circles, at least.


That makes sense. We also have "Huh?" sound in Chinese which works the same way.


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## Johannes

_That makes sense. We also have "Huh?" sound in Chinese which works the same way._ 
I wouldn´t use "huh" all around though, it sounds like "wha?"


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## pickarooney

Does anyone else feel "I beg your pardon" has lost its polite edge and is more likely to be confrontational nowadays?


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## sandpiperlily

swim4life said:


> That makes sense. We also have "Huh?" sound in Chinese which works the same way.



I'm not sure how it works in Chinese, but in American English at least, "huh" is very informal.  You'd use it with friends, but not in a business or formal situation.


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## Parla

pickarooney said:


> Does anyone else feel "I beg your pardon" has lost its polite edge and is more likely to be confrontational nowadays?



Yes. Often "I beg your pardon" doesn't mean "Excuse me, I didn't quite hear you" but, rather, "You're flat-out wrong!" or, at best, "I beg to differ with you."


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## sound shift

Well, I still use "I beg your pardon" without confrontational intent.

Here in Britain, "Sorry?" is often used in the sense of "I didn't hear you. Would you repeat that?" It is neutral, tending to informal.

I've heard Americans say "Pardon me?" when they would like the other person to repeat what he/she said.


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## swim4life

How about "What's that?" Is it commonly used in America? 

Thanks again.


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## Johannes

Agree with Parla "I beg your pardon " is very often used in the sense of there is something you won´t pardon.


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## Hermione Golightly

pickarooney said:


> Does anyone else feel "I beg your pardon" has lost its polite edge and is more likely to be confrontational nowadays?



Yes, most definitely!

I think 'Sorry?' is a good option for learners, or 'Sorry, what did you say?' or 'Sorry, I didn't hear what you said" or "Sorry, can you repeat that please?'.
I'd avoid 'Pardon?'. Despite it being in widespread use, some people think it is vulgar in the same way as some people think 'What?' is rude. 

I strongly advise against using Huh?. Such a very ugly sound and widely regarded as barbaric. Of course if everybody around you says Huh then it is OK. Learners should avoid it like the plague.


Hermione


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## ewie

Hermione Golightly said:


> I'd avoid 'Pardon?'. Despite it being in widespread use, some people think it is vulgar in the same way as some people think 'What?' is rude.


Erm ... _do_ they, Hermie?


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## Andygc

ewie said:


> Erm ... _do_ they, Hermie?


It's something to do with the trans-cultural trauma of being a Geordie in London

I am perfectly comfortable saying "I beg your pardon?" when I don't hear somebody clearly - that's with a rising intonation at the end. I am also comfortable to use it in a critical way, but then there is a very strong emphasis on the _beg_. For example, if my grandson, when he gets a little older (he's only 2!), swears in my presence, I might just say "I *beg *your pardon".


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## Loob

ewie said:


> Erm ... _do_ they, Hermie?


It was one of those U/non-U things, ewie.  "What?" was labelled U (upper class), "Pardon?" non-U (aspiring middle-class).

I use one of Hermione's [post 15] options beginning with "Sorry".


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## natkretep

In all these, the intonation is ultra important - as Andy noted with 'I beg your pardon'. Similarly, with 'What's that?' (Post 13), the stress needs to be at the end and there's a rising intonation.

I'm not a _huh_ user. (Got drilled into me as a child that it was rude.) With my children, I might just say 'What?' but otherwise I say, 'Sorry?' (or 'I'm sorry?') or 'What's that?' or 'Come again?'


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## ribran

I use, "I beg your pardon?" all the time. It's still quite popular where I live.


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## swim4life

ribran said:


> I use, "I beg your pardon?" all the time. It's still quite popular where I live.


Thanks for replying. I'm assuming it's okay to say it when you get upset at something you hear. Are you sure it's commonly used when you didn't catch what they said and ask them to repeat? It seems that I got mixed replies from native speakers...


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## ribran

"I'm sorry?" and "Could you repeat that?" are probably more common, but "I beg your pardon?" is very popular, too (in both senses).

It doesn't sound at all formal to me.


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## Hermione Golightly

> Thanks for replying. I'm assuming it's  okay to say it when you get upset at something you hear. Are you sure  it's commonly used when you didn't catch what they said and ask them to  repeat? It seems that I got mixed replies from native speakers...


Yes, you get a variety of replies because habits and usage differ from one country to another, from one region within a country to another region and from one group of people to another. "Sorry, can you say that again (please)" is easy to say, easy to understand and socially safe anywhere. I'd say that at least half the people I speak to in everyday transactions do not have English as their mother tongue.

It is used not so much if you are upset by what somebody said, as _angered_ or you are very puzzled. You did hear what was said and you object to it. It would be said with a raised voice and in angry tones. It means "How dare you say that?", "What on earth are you talking about?" or something similar. This is the idea of 'confrontational' use already mentioned.

It's years since I heard anybody say it just because they really didn't hear what was said and I don't ever say it myself.  Also, I am _not "_begging pardon" from anybody: usually if I don't hear or don't understand, it's the other person's fault.
I have got to the age when all the policeman are very young and everybody mumbles. 
Of course the other posssible use is when one is saying one is sorry for something one has done, like stepping on somebody's toe or farting when there's no cat or anybody else to blame and everybody's looking at you.


Hermione


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## Cagey

I frequently say "I beg your pardon" in a questioning tone, when I have missed what someone said.  As far as I can tell, no one finds it offensive. 

I can see why people think it might be old-fashioned or out of use, but it doesn't seem to draw much attention when used casually as part of an interaction.


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## natkretep

Hermione Golightly said:


> Of course the other posssible use is when one is saying one is sorry for something one has done, like stepping on somebody's toe or farting when there's no cat or anybody else to blame and everybody's looking at you.



Thanks, Hermione! Yes, I think policemen are getting younger too! 

When I'm caught in the situation you describe, I might get red faced and say, 'I _do_ beg your pardon'.

Obviously, this cannot be used for a request for repetition. I agree with Cagey that if 'I beg your pardon?' is said lightly, and with a slight rising intonation at the end, it does not draw attention to itself, and nobody would get offended.

The sarcastic or ironic 'I _beg_ you pardon?' usually has _beg_ and _pardon_ containing strong stress, and has an exaggerated intonation contour. I don't think it is possible to confuse this with the simple request for repetition.


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## gladorient

Hi everyone!
I have learnt: 
When you didn't quite catch what others are saying, you may use "Pardon" or "I beg your pardon" to have them repeat it to you. You can also say "what?" to get the people repeat what they are saying. 
My question is:
Which is more formal or more polite, "pardon" or "what"?
Thanks!


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## 082486

"I beg your pardon?"....or you can say "I'm sorry?"


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## Andygc

"Pardon?" is more polite than "what?". However, you risk a misunderstanding with an American English speaker who might expect you to say "excuse me?". When I was a student (a long time ago) and spent my summer in a lab at Massachusetts General Hospital I once misheard the scientist I was working for. The conversation then went:
Me "Pardon?"
Him "Excuse me?"
Me "Pardon?"
Him "Excuse me?!"
Me "Pardon???"
At that point we realised we were two nations separated by a shared language.


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## Copperknickers

'What' is considered less polite, although if you are ever speaking to any members of the Royal Family be careful never to say 'pardon' as it is considered offensive to the Queen.


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## Andygc

Copperknickers said:


> 'What' is considered less polite, although if you are ever speaking to any members of the Royal Family be careful never to say 'pardon' as it is considered offensive to the Queen.


But it would be perfectly acceptable to _beg the Queen's pardon_. After all, that is one way to avoid being hauled off to the Tower of London and the executioner's block


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## grubble

I think of "pardon (me)" as what you say after you have farted.

These days most people (BrE) I know say "Sorry?"

"Sorry, I didn't catch that"
"Sorry?"
"What was that?"


In my opinion "What?" is too abrupt to use other than with friends and family.


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## Matching Mole

I'd avoid them both when speaking to someone one doesn't know, but for entirely different reasons. "What?" is probably fine with people you are comfortable and familiar with, but will likely sound rude otherwise. "Pardon?" is a bit old fashioned when intended sincerely, I think. It's often used in response to someone saying something questionable, and may therefore sound accusatory. I think that in the UK almost everyone says "I'm sorry?", when being polite.

The British upper classes of the old school apparently preferred "What?" as the standard response. "Pardon" was frowned upon by them, possibly because, as the King said to Alice (Through the Looking Glass) "It isn't respectable to beg" ("Pardon?" being short for "I beg your pardon?"). Or perhaps it is because "I beg your pardon" should not be a question.


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## PaulQ

Matching Mole said:


> Or perhaps it is because "I beg your pardon" should not be a question.


A lot is in the intonation of, "I beg your pardon"

Said in a manner of outrage, it is a rhetorical question implying that the original speaker has just given deep insult.
A: Your wife is remarkably ugly..."
B: "I beg your pardon?!"

On the other hand, said in a rhetorical and apologetic manner, "I beg your pardon?" = I'm sorry, I did not hear, could you repeat that?"

and,

"I beg your pardon." said apologetically = "I'm sorry for what I just did/have done/am about to do.

All of the above can be contracted to, "Pardon(?)" or "Pardon me(?)"

Although I have never heard the convention that one does not say, "Pardon" to the Queen, I suspect that the upper classes retain the meaning in red font above.

Having said all that, "what?" is informal.


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## GreenWhiteBlue

As noted above, an American speaker of English would probably not say "pardon" under those circumstances, but would instead say "Excuse me?"', or even "excuse me, could you repeat that?"

You should not use a plain, unadorned "What?" in the circumstance you describe -- and especially not if you are speaking to a stranger, or someone in a position of authority (such as a teacher, or your superior at work.)  It is not merely less polite than "excuse me", but in some circumstances would  be regarded by some as boorish, ill-bred, and impolite.


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## ribran

Andygc said:


> "Pardon?" is more polite than "what?". However, you risk a misunderstanding with an American English speaker who might expect you to say "excuse me?". When I was a student (a long time ago) and spent my summer in a lab at Massachusetts General Hospital I once misheard the scientist I was working for. The conversation then went:
> Me "Pardon?"
> Him "Excuse me?"
> Me "Pardon?"
> Him "Excuse me?!"
> Me "Pardon???"
> At that point we realised we were two nations separated by a shared language.



I can't believe he misunderstood you! That's wild. I would hardly call "Pardon?" rare, but I'm from Texas, so what do I know?


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## Loob

Matching Mole said:


> I'd avoid them both when speaking to someone one doesn't know, but for entirely different reasons. "What?" is probably fine with people you are comfortable and familiar with, but will likely sound rude otherwise. "Pardon?" is a bit old fashioned when intended sincerely, I think. It's often used in response to someone saying something questionable, and may therefore sound accusatory. I think that in the UK almost everyone says "I'm sorry?", when being polite.
> 
> The British upper classes of the old school apparently preferred "What?" as the standard response. "Pardon" was frowned upon by them, possibly because, as the King said to Alice (Through the Looking Glass) "It isn't respectable to beg" ("Pardon?" being short for "I beg your pardon?"). Or perhaps it is because "I beg your pardon" should not be a question.


I agree wholeheartedly with MM: I wouldn't use either "Pardon?" or "What?".

I'd be most likely to say: "I'm sorry - I didn't hear what you said."


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## Uncle Bob

Hello,
In the North of England it's "Come again" anyway.


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## gladorient

Thanks a lot! All your answers and explanations are so enlightening!


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## Hitchhiker

My father is American and he says, "I beg your pardon." Often when he says it it sounds more like, "I beg pardon" or "Beg pardon," barely saying "your" or "I." He says it with a questioning intonation. I forget exactly what my mother would say, but I think she would include the words, "repeat" and "please."


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## Copyright

Softer than the blunt "What?" is "What was that?" (Said politely, of course.)

Just one more to add to your collection.


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## Gwan

I would usually use 'pardon' or 'sorry', although I'm sure 'what' actually slips out more than I think, at least informally  

'What?' often indicates not that you haven't heard, but that you have heard and you're surprised or shocked by the information.  e.g. "Paul's marrying his cousin" "WHAT?!"

About 'I beg your pardon' - where I'm from, it would be so formal/old-fashioned in the 'excuse me' sense that I think this meaning has more or less disappeared completely and you run the risk of it sounding like you're outraged, as PaulQ points out. I have heard it from non-native speakers, and while I know they are trying to sound polite, my first instinct is that they actually sound quite rude! Obviously as we have seen, this is one of those things that varies across countries, classes, and individuals though


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## Hitchhiker

"What was that?" is fairly common. I've also heard older people say, "How?" with a hand held behind their ear, short for, "How is that again?" How is not very common and not as common as it is in some other European languages.


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## Mavika

I heard today that nowadays the upper classes tend to say "What?" instead of "Pardon?" However, I think that "What?" is a little impolite expression. I was just wondering, is "Sorry?" the best way to express that you didn't quite catch what someone said? I mean, is it kind of neutral expression?


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## AquisM

Yes. I would even say that it's the most common expression used. I was always lectured for using "What?" towards everybody in primary school (including the principal ), but I thought "Pardon?" was too posh, so I adopted "I'm sorry?" and it has stuck ever since.


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## natkretep

Mod note: we have a mega thread now about asking for repetition because I have merged a few threads. Try looking at some of the earlier responses. There are some interesting comments!


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## Unreelmom

This new thread has been added to a previous thread.
Cagey, moderator 

"What please?" - I was raised as a child that it was rude to ask "What?" of an adult when I didn't hear what was said.  Instead, I was taught to ask "What please?"  Now, because I was raised this way, I didn't think much of it.  My husband however, feels VERY strongly this is improper English.

Can someone please weigh in on whether or not the question "What please?" Is proper or improper?

Thank you in advance.


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## Dretagoto

It doesn't sound right to me. If I said "what?" as a child, my parents would admonish me to say "pardon me?" or "excuse me?". "What please?" sounds very bad to my ear.


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## Unreelmom

That's what I was thinking (as much as I hate to admit to him he's correct).  Luckily, I raised my children to simply say "Pardon me?".

Thank you for the reply!


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## velisarius

I've never heard anyone say "What please?" Where (in what country) have you heard this phrase in use?


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## RedwoodGrove

It depends on who you are talking to. It sounds a little confrontational to me, in a kind of ironic way. Of course, I tend to say "What's that?" a lot but I'm a little hard of hearing.


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## velisarius

Do you mean, Redwood, that "What please?" sounds natural, though confrontational? 

Plain "What?" has been discussed in this thread, and its been established that it's in normal use in some circles in the UK. It isn't necessarily confrontational.


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## DonnyB

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "What please?" 

It comes across to me a softer version of plain "What?" which I think can be a bit rude, although a lot depends on the tone of voice and possibly the context as well.  So I guess the same considerations probably apply to "What please?"  It doesn't to me imply _confrontational_.


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## RedwoodGrove

velisarius said:


> Do you mean, Redwood, that "What please?" sounds natural, though confrontational?
> 
> Plain "What?" has been discussed in this thread, and its been established that it's in normal use in some circles in the UK. It isn't necessarily confrontational.


No, I just mean that if I ever did hear it it would sound that way. 

Americans say "What?" all the time. Obviously if you added the "please" in a soft voice it wouldn't be confrontational, but it would be odd. Mostly you would hear the "please" added in an aggressive tone. We say "Oh please" in a sarcastic tone as in "Come off it."


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## RedwoodGrove

I suppose my impression of "please" is that it is frequently used in the negative. I can't believe any Brit wouldn't agree with this.  Please. Spare me.


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## RM1(SS)

Unreelmom said:


> "What please?" - I was raised as a child that it was rude to ask "What?" of an adult when I didn't hear what was said.  Instead, I was taught to ask "What please?"  Now, because I was raised this way, I didn't think much of it.  My husband however, feels VERY strongly this is improper English.
> 
> Can someone please weigh in on whether or not the question "What please?" Is proper or improper?



I would call it quite unusual, but not improper.

I use the US Navy standard "Say again" if I want someone to repeat something.



Hermione Golightly said:


> farting when there's no cat or anybody else to blame and everybody's looking at you.


According to Miss Manners, the correct thing to say here is nothing at all.


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## Unreelmom

velisarius said:


> I've never heard anyone say "What please?" Where (in what country) have you heard this phrase in use?



I'm in the US, Florida to be exact, wondering if it's a "Southern" thing?


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## Unreelmom

I really do appreciate all the answers, this has been a 20 year debate in my house . Seems we are both right (in a way).  While it is a bit awkward sounding it necessarily improper.  Love a win win!!!


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## teacherskid

What would you say about the appropriateness when someone didn't hear what you said, for them to say the word "Louder" at a volume that suggests the level at which you should repeat what you said so they can hear you?


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## Uncle Jack

teacherskid said:


> What would you say about the appropriateness when someone didn't hear what you said, for them to say the word "Louder" at a volume that suggests the level at which you should repeat what you said so they can hear you?


Welcome to the forum.

I have never come across anyone using "louder" like this. In any case, "louder" on its own seems rather rude. "Could you say it louder?" would be more usual, but I would not expect it to be spoken at the volume the person wanted you to repeat it at.


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## You little ripper!

It would be politer to say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you”. This is usually a cue for the person to repeat what they said more loudly or more clearly.


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## ewie

teacherskid said:


> What would you say about the appropriateness when someone didn't hear what you said, for them to say the word "Louder"


I'd put it at the same level of politeness as _Out of my way!_ or _Shut it!_


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## novice_81

Added to this thread. Nat, Moderator

If you didn't hear what someone said to you, would you say: *Can you repeat (please)?* Or does it sound unnatural in English and you would rather say *Can you say that again?*


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## heypresto

Can you repeat (please)? 
Can you repeat *that* (please)? 

But what we might say is highly dependent on the _context_. It might depend on who we are speaking to, where (on the phone/face to face), and in what situation.


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## emanko

Hello

In American English, when you're in the middle of a conversation with someone (not starting the conversation) and they say something you don't hear, is it OK to  say "pardon me"? Or is it too formal and intimidating?

Thank you


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## Roxxxannne

Using "pardon me" to say that one didn't hear what someone else said sounds old-fashioned and formal to me. It's also used in other situations: I occasionally use it when I want someone to step out of my way.   In the situation you're asking about, I usually hear (and say) "sorry, I didn't/couldn't hear you"  Or "sorry, I couldn't hear what you said."


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## DonnyB

"Sorry?" is the one I hear and use most often in BE nowadays.  "Pardon (me)" has a very old-fashioned ring to it, and I wouldn't really advise a learner to try using it.


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