# Online persona vs real-life persona



## moodywop

A while ago I was struck by a forera's comment (I think it was in EO but I'm not sure) that she was surprised at how polemical and aggressive she could be in her posts when she was actually a very mild, non-confrontational person in real life.

I've been wondering about this. I've only been online for just over three years (believe it or not, I didn't even own a computer before) so I'm still not quite comfortable with online communication. For example, I find IMing stresses me and avoid it. I prefer email.

I've also been struck by how debate sometimes degenerates into flaming/personal attacks even on online forums where you would least expect it, from support forums for people suffering from a severe illness to pet-lovers' forums.

I wonder whether any other foreros perceive a hiatus between their online and their real-life persona. I discussed this with GenJen and she though it would make interesting material for a new thread.

I like the English expression "Now I'll get off my pulpit". I don't think we have an equivalent one in Italian. Even if I'm just posting about the subjunctive I sometimes re-write a post because on re-reading it I had felt the post "didn't sound like me". Maybe I sounded too much like a pedantic teacher. Or I feared that my disagreement with a fellow forero might sound like an "attack". Of course, because English is not my native language, I may end up sounding more formal than I would in Italian. My "fine tuning" skills are limited in English. But I'm sure there's more to it than that. Even in Italian I often feel that in a post I sometimes don't come off as the "real me".

Does anybody here share this impression?


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## deddish

I'm 15, I've been on the internet since I was, ohhhh... eight or so. Avidly.

I have to agree- I don't act the same online as I do in person. I'm generally meaner, less considerate of other people's feelings... I don't care as much about what other people say to me, and vice versa- I tend to be a bit ruder because I don't expect to hurt people's feelings. It doesn't seem as insulting over a computer screen, because, well, whoever that is? They can't see you over there. So if they call you fat or ugly or something unpleasant relating to your appearance you can brush it off knowing they've no idea. And even if they say something attacking you personally, chances are they don't know the half of what they're talking about. Sometimes it almost feels as if I'm not actually talking to a person, just a block of text or an MSN window, and what feelings, what knowledge of me, does _it _have? 

I admit I also find it easier to communicate online. It's less like you're trying to communicate in a conversation... you can, say, organize your topics, with bullets even.

Online, you can go back and erase what you've typed and edit it if you realize you've made a mistake, so personally I'm more easy-going. In the real world if you make a mistake it's there and you can't do anything about it, other than maybe apologize.

I find that lots of people, when speaking online, interact with "the computer" as opposed to "Jenny" or whoever they may be. Especially when speaking to strange people you don't know who live on the other side of the world...



I'm sorry, that was very poorly constructed. Even the Internet can't fix _that_...


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## ElaineG

For better or worse, my online persona _in English_ is the same as my "real life" persona.  

However, I often think about this issue with regard to my use of Italian in the forum.  When speaking Italian, I am able to convey my sense of humor through body and facial expressions -- even when I don't have the verbal nuance.  But I find it nearly impossible to be _funny_ in written Italian, and therefore online.  It's like a whole side of me drops away.

On the bright side, however, it's hard for me to be _polemical_ in written Italian, so while I'm a duller person online in Italian, I'm sure I'm much easier to get along with too. 

In all seriousness, though, I think the distortion chamber of online communication -- where it's sometimes hard to catch the inflection of someone's "voice" is magnified when the "voice" is not in someone's native language.  

Maybe this ends up being one of the answers to the question posed elsewhere today about why debate participants online don't good naturedly give up the ghost!


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## emma42

I find what deddish said very interesting and I wonder whether this is a generational thing; deddish has been brought up with computers, I (42) have had a computer for only a couple of years and this is the first and only Forum I participate in.

Do younger people generally, therefore, draw a clear distinction between online and non-online personae? Deddish has clearly said that s/he does and might not particularly care about people's feelings online. Certainly, on these Fora, we do and there are clear Rules relating to politeness (indeed, there has recently been much discussion on these issues).

To people of my generation and older, it would seem that we certainly view online relationships as deserving of care as any other type. Or am I wrong?

I also agree with Elaine on the problem of expressing one's persona completely in a foreign language.  I try to make funny remarks in French, but if I am not sure, I try to remember to add a rider.
I am also with Elaine, in that my persona online is the same as my persona off-line. I have found that as I get to know people online better, I reveal more of myself, as offline. Is it also because I trust most people in these Fora to be here for the same reasons as I? To have honest and open discussion for the purpose of learning etc? I think so.


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## Joelline

If you had asked this question a month ago, I would have said that there was no discrepancy between my 2 personas. Today, however, I can say that I tend to "walk away" from controversial topics and confrontational foreros far more often than I would do in my "real life." Of course, in my "real life," there are far, far, far fewer confrontational moments!


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## emma42

I have considered walking away from contentious issues, but I don't. I have, however, learned from some of my mistakes and have tried to follow the good example of other forer@s who take part in contentious debates, saying exactly what they want to say (well, you know what I mean!) without getting personal. I think this has taught me new communication skills and I intend to use them in debates off-line.  Or I might just carry on smacking people in the gob.  That was a joke.


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## cubaMania

There are many influences pulling us in different directions:
*Anonymity, security*: Some folks give vent to their nasty side online because they know they will not meet their communicants in their neighborhood, their workplace, their church/mosque/synagogue/temple. Nobody can complain about their bad behavior to their boss, their friends or their family, and nobody can "smack them in the gob."
EDIT:  Hmmm, this also goes the other way.  Some people can be more honest and express their true opinions (in a good way) when they are anonymous.
*Postponed delivery*: Some folks improve their messages because they have a chance to re-read and fix them before pressing the "enter" key.
*Non-verbal cues*: This cuts both ways. Some folks are keenly aware of the lack of facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language that are missing in online communications and modify their words so as not to be misunderstood. (Smilies sometimes help a little to replace the missing cues.) Other folks are blissfully unaware of this difference between rich in-person communication and purely verbal communication, and so write exactly the words they would speak, inadvertently giving a different impression than intended. And some people simply have a better grasp of the nuances of verbal language--even their native language--than do others.
*Empathy*: Some folks have less empathy for the rights and feelings of others when they cannot see or hear the person on the other end of their communication. Bigotry, war, and some crimes depend upon a certain depersonalization that takes place more easily at a distance. Of course, in other areas as well as online the capacity for empathy varies greatly from one person to another.

It's an interesting topic. I'm sure there are other influences that I have not covered.


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## emma42

Excellent points, Cubamania.  Would you care to say whether or not you adjust your persona online?  You are under no obligation, of course!


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## cubaMania

emma42 said:
			
		

> Excellent points, Cubamania. Would you care to say whether or not you adjust your persona online? You are under no obligation, of course!


Postponed delivery really works well for me.  I don't think I change my persona, but before I press the "enter" key I think such thoughts as:  have I said exactly what I mean?  am I taking into account the factors related to non-native language? am I contributing positively to the discussion, and to the overall tone of the forum? and others questions depending upon the topic.  So my online communication is both better and worse than my in-person communication: less spontaneous, more verbally precise, less richly-nuanced non-verbally but better expressed in the words themselves, and so on.

However, when writing other than in English, I often do not know what personality I might be exhibiting.


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## funkytaco

I've met a few people like deddish in real life, who've acted like that online. No offense to deddish, they were just a bit immature, even offline.  But to answer your question, no, alot of people are not like deddish, but alot at his age can be silly and talk in "gamer speak" which can carry into the real world.

I think I'm a helper type personality online since I've always been in IT/Support/Communications. I would say I mute myself online a little bit for the sake of other members, but I may call others out in debates that are weakly stated. 

As it stands, I don't broadcast who I am, but considering I post real information about myself for my web hosting business, someone could easily find out who I am if they were so inclined. But, if I was a woman, I would definitely hide my persona until I got to know someone or a group of people I've chatted with online, especially if I had shared a picture.

Edit: Oh, and hello! First post!  Whats a  forera and forero?


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## deddish

Forer@ means people who frequent the forums  Sounds Spanish to me, but could just as easily be Internettish.

Yes, I do know a great deal of extremely immature persons who you could be relating to... I'm not particularly mature myself  

Though, I'd like to clarify. I'm not _entirely_ different than I am offline- there are substantial differences, yes, but I still react to several things the same way. Just not personalized comments.

It's difficult to explain, maybe I'll gander a try some other time... rather than when I'm supposed to be in bed


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## danielfranco

I'm a lot nicer online, that's for sure. 
But I express myself better online, too, because of the edit-power. Usually, and other interpreters/translators might agree, in the type of work I do I have to be a bit more brusque and no-nonsense and assertive and outright bossy or pushy. Online I'm often more... pliable?
I don't know, but I guess being my age (36) helps me to see the computer as another kind of "telephone", and it's very easy to remember I'm actually connected to other people, and not only to the hardware.

One more thing: I think that in person, even if we do not want to do it, we do indeed react either positively or negatively to the other's appearance, so that's one more thing that could be part of a change from your real you to your online you.
Maybe.


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## moodywop

I agree with all the interesting observations made by cubaMania. About being more honest online, I can also think of someone living under an oppressive regime who would be able to express opinions that would get him/her into trouble without the anonymity afforded by an online forum.

However, I was mainly referring to the involuntary online distortion of our offline persona rather than to a conscious effort to protect one's privacy.

Of course there are people who actually feel the need to keep the two personas separate. When I joined I didn't know much about online etiquette. On more than one occasion I used foreros' real names in a post (they had used them in PMs). They asked me to edit my post and use their screen-names as they liked to keep their online and offline personas separate.

I may have overstated my case in my first post. It's not as if I have a split personality Elaine's "distortion" is a better description of what I had in mind.

CubaMania also makes an interesting point when he speaks of "depersonalization".


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## badgrammar

I guess I really don't think I have a particular "on-line" personality, but I always have found it fascinating that apparently in some forums and on the internet in general, people do create a sort of alter ego that may include lying about who they are and what they do in real life.  I used to participate of a cycling forum, which I realy enjoyed...  and I believe that on that forum, some, though not the majority, of the people, habitually lied about who they are and their actual cycling activity.  I don't know why, for the life of me...  I guess some folks are lonely and feel they must make themselves sound more interesting in order to be liked...

So I think sometimes people re-invent themselves for attention on forums, because who can really verify if what you claim is true?


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## geve

What is my real-life persona? Ok, this thread is not about philosophic questions.  

I think I am the same online and offline. Of course, it is written communication, hence I tend to choose my words more carefully and think for a few minutes before posting an answer. Obviously I don't do that in real life!  

I have the same persona, but I can't tell if people _perceive_ it the same way. In real-life, I would see if the person understands my intent (from the expression on her/his face, body language etc.), and would then be able to react, correct, adjust or clarify.
It is likely that at first, people reading me here would not get my real persona. After reading more posts from me and interacting with me in threads and/or PMs, they'll probably get a rather accurate idea. But then, it's like saying that they got to know me better -just like in real life.



			
				moodywop said:
			
		

> On more than one occasion I used foreros' real names in a post (they had used them in PMs). They asked me to edit my post and use their screen-names as they liked to keep their online and offline personas separate.


I might give my real name in PMs but I too would rather not see it used publicly in a thread. It's not that I want to keep my online and offline personas separate (and you're still online when you give your real name in a PM), but just that, as I have a rather uncommon first name, an occurence of it on a WRF page could do serious damage to google statistics  

However, I must admit that being referred to as "geve" on this forum makes me think of myself as "geve" when I'm on this forum. Is that an alteration of my indivisible self? Does that somehow make me another person? Maybe.


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## emma42

I think what badgrammar has said has got to be true, human nature being what it is.  However, on fora such as these, much of the discussion is academic and fact/opinion-based, rather than an exchange of information about what people do in their daily lives (altough that can happen).  Given that, there is not as much opportunity for lying about oneself as there perhaps is in other fora.


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## cubaMania

We need to distinguish between identity and persona.  I would never reveal my real name, address, phone, etc. on an open forum.  All kinds of lunatics are online, and none of them needs to know my real identity.  My persona, though, is another matter.  My online personality (in _this_ forum, at least) is very similar to my off-line personality with the differences imposed by the medium of communication.  But some people do have a different personality online--they behave online in ways they would never behave in person, for any of a variety of reasons, not all of which are necessarily consciously chosen.


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## SofiaB

I try to be the same on and off line. even though to some on line is anonymous, I do not like to offend people even if I disagree with them.I try to understand other points of view why be negative. Maybe it is an eastern thing but I do not see a reason to be impolite at all.By the  way be kind since our discussions are of a linguistic nature and I feel that experts are in many ways no more qualified than the rest of us.


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## Rayines

I want to be the same person as in real life, that's why I say my name, age, profession, and I've told things about myself that could make the others know me a little more. I've also made virtual and real friends here, have met some of them, and continue to chat with three or four of them that I've strictly selected. I like that a lot, trying always to show myself such as I'm in real life, and knowing that I've sometimes walked on a cornice, because you never know who is actually behind the mirror. There're also more possibilities of misunderstandig. But....given that the Internet phenomenon is growing and growing, I think that it is a good excercise to analize ourselves in our possibility of creating ties with people in this way, and how it works.
Sometimes, I discover in my closest friends and relatives (here in Buenos Aires) some details in their chatting, that I can't appreciate in the daily talking (and not always good characterstics). 
I've also checked with myself, that I'm less shy to express my thoughts (not in English of course, but fortunately my web-friends are all learning Spanish!).
Well...that's all. I'm very interested indeed in studies about this sort of communication.


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## lauranazario

moodywop said:
			
		

> However, I was mainly referring to the involuntary online distortion of our offline persona rather than to a conscious effort to protect one's privacy.


As you can tell from my username,  in my case there is no palpable difference between my real-life and online personnas.
The way I conduct myself in these forums is pretty much the same way I conduct myself in real life (efficient, accurate, professional, helpful, etc.) but with a _conscious focus in *highlighting*_ politeness and a non-confrontational attitude when I write my posts within our WR  language forums.

Why (for me) is the "highlighting" so important?
Because I have found that even the most carefully chosen words can be (accidentally or even _willingly_) misinterpreted by the person who reads them-- whether he/she is a native speaker or a language learner. We have so many people from so many cultures here at WR so this is quite hard!

But one thing that is invariably understood --and almost universally well-received-- is the use of "_please / would you be so kind as to... / I suggest that... / may I recommend that... / thank you._
As you may have guessed by now, I am polite in real life... and I won't hide the fact that I do appreciate (and to some degree _expect_) politeness and urbanity from others.  

Regarding privacy matters... I choose not to reveal any personal details, although I've shared a lot of my professional background throughout many a thread in WR. Go figure. 
I don't withhold personal information out of fear or anything like that. It's just that I don't find it too... pertinent... in a language environment. In real life I also tend not to broadly volunteer too much information. I don't turn my life into funny stories or anecdotes to share with anyone within earshot.

Saludos,
LN


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## geve

cubaMania said:
			
		

> We need to distinguish between identity and persona. I would never reveal my real name, address, phone, etc. on an open forum.


And that's why I'd rather not have my real name used in a thread: until recently, knowing my first name was enough to find my address and phone number.



			
				lauranazario said:
			
		

> I don't withhold personal information out of fear or anything like that. It's just that I don't find it too... pertinent... in a language environment. In real life I also tend not to broadly volunteer too much information. I don't turn my life into funny stories or anecdotes to share with anyone within earshot.


That is part of my persona too -on or offline: unless asked, I tend not to unveil much, because, well, people might just not be interested to know.


I can't help thinking that people who consciously change their persona when online, are people who don't intend to stay. There are many places on the internet, where one can test various attitudes and ways of being. Maybe that can be a hobby for some? Can you really be someone different in the long run? 

Another thing is that in real life, we tend to slightly and more or less unconsciously change our persona to adapt to each situation. One does not behave the exact same way when at work, at home, with friends, with one's mother-in-law, or with one's bank manager...


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## fenixpollo

Does anyone else find these statements totally contradictory?





			
				deddish said:
			
		

> I don't act the same online as I do in person. I'm generally meaner, less considerate of other people's feelings... I don't care as much about what other people say to me, and vice versa- I tend to be a bit ruder because I don't expect to hurt people's feelings.
> 
> I admit I also find it easier to communicate online. It's less like you're trying to communicate in a conversation... you can, say, organize your topics, with bullets even.
> 
> I'm sorry, that was very poorly constructed. Even the Internet can't fix _that_...


 I'm not sure if this is a generational attitude, but it would be fascinating to find out.  

Regardless, the lesson that I take from that post is that I should be more thick-skinned on line because there are people here who think that they are interacting with a machine and not with a real live chicken.  

I still don't understand the fear of people learning your first name.  It's not like you're posting your bank account number or your Social Security Number.  

I write on the forum in the same way I write in other places.  This is just as "real-life" to me as when I email, write letters or otherwise communicate in a written way with anyone else who is non-WR-related.  I'm sitting here at the computer, writing.  It's not another Me that's writing, nor am I a cartoon, nor am I under the influence of any narcotic.  It's real, and I'm just me.

As far as my "persona" goes, I just communicate with the world -- you guys are the ones who create a "persona" for me based on the way I communicate.  I just hope that the "real" me fits the mental image you have created for me.


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## coppergirl

Hi everyone!

I think I am very much the same online and off-line, although I am another one of those who actually hates email because I am missing the non-verbal cues I rely on so heavily in offline personal encounters. For me, the non-verbal cues are about 99% of communication ---both in terms of understanding the other person and in terms of expressing and communicating what I want to get across.

So, while I am very clearly the same person on and offline, I tend to be aware that email has all the charm of the old "message in a bottle" in terms of interpersonal cues. It works well for an "SOS" but it is pretty much useless for conveying anything else about people. 

Because of this, if anything I might be slightly more cautious on email, so as not to offend anyone inadvertently. I am aware that we are dealing with lots of cultures in these forums and so I am even more conscious of not wishing to offend anyone simply by expressing a forceful opinion or stating my own viewpoint too strongly. 

Again, as others have mentioned, I usually avail myself of the advantages of postponed delivery to double-check that I have said exactly what I had intended in the appropriate tone. But then, I tend to try to make sure I get this right in my daily life anyway. 

Cheers!


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## maxiogee

I've been on the web for many years now.
I hate Instant Messaging as I prefer to marshall my thoughts, hone my words and then post something, and I find that IM is inimical to that. IM users seem to dislike "silences" and they can often type something further while one is still composing a response to their previous message.

My persona here (and on other fora) is somewhat more open and extrovert than I am in person. I'm not exactly shy in person, but I quickly run out of stuff to talk about in most social situations. What you get to learn about me is limited. I give out a certain amount of personal information fairly readily and then that's it. No more until I get to know (and like) people enough to reveal more. I find that difficult to do in the flesh as it were.
Here I don't have to bother about the fact that sport leaves me cold!
Also, as a recovering alcoholic I tend to limit my time in pubs and my exposure to places where people are drinking. This - in Ireland - curtails one's social life considerably.

Apart from that, I agree with what the flame-grilled chicken says…


			
				fenixpollo said:
			
		

> As far as my "persona" goes, I just communicate with the world -- you guys are the ones who create a "persona" for me based on the way I communicate.



However, I'm not sure that I am the person you folk think me to be. That, however, is not *my* problem —> well, not until I get to meet some of you and then I'm found to be a charlatan ±


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## moodywop

maxiogee said:
			
		

> I hate Instant Messaging as I prefer to marshall my thoughts, hone my words and then post something, and I find that IM is inimical to that. IM users seem to dislike "silences" and they can often type something further while one is still composing a response to their previous message.


 
Tony, thank you for articulating the reasons I, too, am uncomfortable with IM. I found it difficult to explain in English but you did it for me 





> My persona here (and on other fora) is somewhat more open and extrovert than I am in person... However, I'm not sure that I am the person you folk think me to be


 
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Deception or worrying about privacy are not what I had in mind.

I did a quick search on Google. Mercifully, I didn't find any academic studies. I'm only interested in people's personal impressions. I did find that many people have wrestled with the issue, especially in blogs. A few contrasting opinions:

_"...my blog self is not my entire self and I must say that I've been cool with that as long as both of those two selves never happen to appear together in the same room. When that happens, it shines a spotlight right on top of that partial disclosure or split identity issue and this is something I'm finding uncomfortable to reconcile."_

_"There is a distinct split between my real-world self and my weblog self. That split is inevitable in any professional writing and I'd argue very healthy for a weblog. I wouldn't have it any other way"_

_"Online, what is blurred is not the "self", but clues to identity that we are used to receiving in synchronous communication (yet have for millennia accepted as missing from other, asynchronous forms of written communication)"_


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## maxiogee

On a different forum I was gettting a hard time from one of the members and decided to leave. The forum owner sent me an email with some personal details in it asking me to stay around. I declined and gave my reasons on the forum. I did not reply to his personal stuff as I didn't think it actually warranted a response.
He was shocked that I hadn't replied —> partly because in the personal stuff he had "revealed" his full name to me. I think he felt I should have been so grateful for this information that I should have sent him the sort of letter I used to have to write to my aunts and uncles after birthdays and Christmas!  

Nope, with me, what you see (or don't see) is what you get. 
What foreros choose to build from that is up to them. Feck it all, I have difficulty describing me to my psychiatrist - and we've met several times!  
I've made a point of always answering questions honestly. I may not answer all questions asked, but if I do answer, there's no hiding or subterfuge or hidden agendas. Life's too short!


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## GenJen54

maxiogee said:
			
		

> My persona here (and on other fora) is somewhat more open and extrovert than I am in person. I'm not exactly shy in person, but I quickly run out of stuff to talk about in most social situations.


This describes me very much. What WR allows me to do is express thoughts and ideas in a "party" of my own choosing, if you will. I'm a lousy party date (just ask my husband), normally opting to engage in stimulating talk with a few people in a quiet corner than disengenuous chat among many near-strangers (my husband could talk to a wall). This is also why the "academic" setting of WR appeals to me so much.

At least here I know I automatically have things in common with many fellow forer@s (a love of languages, culture and interest in other countries), which helps bridge the gap of the unknown. Instead of strangers, we're "intimate strangers" of a sort.

I reveal things about myself from to time, when relevant to a particular thread. 

If there are any particular differences between the online "Gen" and the real-life "Jen," it is that the "me" in real life is much more cheeky/snarky/sarcastic - and yes, even funny  - something that is hard to get across here, where voice inflection and gestures are impossible.


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## maxiogee

GenJen54 said:
			
		

> If there are any particular differences between the online "Gen" and the real-life "Jen," it is that the "me" in real life is much more cheeky/snarky/sarcastic - and yes, even funny  - something that is hard to get across here, where voice inflection and gestures are impossible.



Snap!
In my most recent employment I was known (by close friends there) as EvilTony. This was because I was always ready with a sarcastic (and hopefully witty) comment if someone left me an opening. This was normally done in jest, and taken in the same manner. 
It's not something which one can just start doing with strangers - they need to know you a while beforehand. One new guy who thought everyone was afforded the same licence found out to his cost that this was not the case. He said something, I can't remember what, and when someone said "What?!!!" He mumbled something about "I only said what Tony would say", and he was told by two employees simultateously, "Yeah, but Tony never means it."
What they didn't know was that there were several times when my sarcasm was genuine, and with a glance sneaked at someone else, they realised it too.
Get a name for saying things in jest and you can get away with saying anything!


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## belén

I think there is not a difference between my two "selves", I actually feel that the foreros I am closer too here, have grabbed my personality so well, they will address me the same way as very close people in my real life address me (I am talking about calling me Belencita, for example, as a term of endearment, this happens to me both here in the forums and in my everyday life) which, as I understand it, means that both here and outside I am perceived the same way and that I inspire the same kind of treatment.

I am not so much into conflict, and you can count my participations in "heated" threads in the Cultural Discussions forums, of course I will talk about the subjects that interest me or I will answer back if someone attacks me or somebody/something that is very close to my heart, but I won't be the kind of person to spend hours discussing or arguing over a very polemic subject, as I don't consider myself very good on those matters. And this reflects here as well.

What I would like to add is the interactions in my life between this forum and the outside life. Participating in the forums has affected me in a positive way that is reflected in my "outside" life. First of all, it has improved my English, I realize that I constantly use words that I have learned thanks to this place. I really take more care of how I speak and I give much more credit to those who are learning my language(s), because I realize how hard it is for them. And of course, on some occasions, I may talk about my forum friends and colleagues in the "real life", as a natural thing "I have a friend from England who blah blah blah" and I may refer to one of the foreros. I don't need to specify how I have met this person.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

I think there is one big difference between my two personas: when in a bad mood, I don't log on, so nobody here knows.  In real life, I'm always "connected", because there is no log off process to switch me off.


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## tvdxer

In real life, I tend to be much less confrontational and argumentative, except when really roused to be so.  

And flaming has been a part of internet discussions from the very start.  You will postings from the old USENET newsgroup net.flame dating back to February 1982 on Google Groups.


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## Kelly B

It's hard to judge, really, but I don't think my personality is significantly different online. You might be surprised at the sloppiness of my speech, though, if we were to have a face-to-face conversation. I'm _far _more formal in writing.


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