# Absence makes the heart grow fonder



## susanb

Hello,
I'm looking for an idiom with the same meaning as this one:"Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder". Do you have any?
Thanks in advance!!


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## badgrammar

There's one about "Distance is like the wind, it extinguishes a small flame (of love) but fans on a big flame (makes the fire stronger).

Oviously that's not the correct formulation, but there is one like that...


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## river

You don't know what you've got, until it's gone.


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## Paulfromitaly

So far, but so close..


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## foxfirebrand

"Out of sight, out of mind."  Same situation, but of course a different interpretation.


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## Lucretia

What we have in Russian is 
_The farther, the dearer._


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## susanb

Lucretia said:


> What we have in Russian is
> _The farther, the dearer._


Does it exist in English? I really like it!


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## JamesM

I've never heard "The farther, the dearer" in English, but it is beautiful.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is such a deeply imbedded cliche in English that I can't imagine anything else knocking it off its position.


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## gaer

And for something perhaps just as common but with a reverse meaning:

"Familiarity breeds contempt." 

I like "the farther, the dearer", although I don't think you will see it in English.


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## Setwale_Charm

Lucretia said:


> What we have in Russian is
> _The farther, the dearer._


 
 Hmmm, can you write that in Russian? So far I have never heard it. I know the Russian saying С глаз долой - из сердца вон.
 but it more like "Out of sight, out of heart", so it has the opposite meaning.


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## coconutpalm

What we have in Chinese is 小别胜新婚: a short time of departure makes a couple more fond of each other than they newly get married. YOu can add sexual meaning to it, too.


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## Lucretia

Hello, Setwale Charm,
Here it is, if your comp can decifer.
_Чем дальше, тем родней._
I can't say I've often heard it recently. Nor will I assert it's very common ( it may well be). My mother would say so, and it couldn't have been her coinage.


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## Setwale_Charm

Thanks , Lucretia. Strange, I`ve never heard of it. But I can understand your Mum very well, especially if she often had to welcome some members of the extended family at her house .


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## cyanista

Exactly, Setwale_Charm! i haven't heard the saying before but it definitely  has a tongue-in-cheek quality so it can't be compared to "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". Google hits confirm my suspicions.  "The farher, the dearer" is indeed used to speak of relatives that one would rather not see very often.


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## robbie_SWE

Dacă n-ai ce-ţi place, să-ţi place ce ai. 

(if you have nothing you like, like what you have)

Don't know if it corresponds with the English proverb, but it gives the same feeling (I think!?).

 robbie


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## gaer

cyanista said:


> Exactly, Setwale_Charm! i haven't heard the saying before but it definitely has a tongue-in-cheek quality so it can't be compared to "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". Google hits confirm my suspicions.  "The farher, the dearer" is indeed used to speak of relatives that one would rather not see very often.


In that case, it is actually close to: "familiarity breeds contempt", but on a "family level".


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## Chazzwozzer

foxfirebrand said:


> "Out of sight, out of mind."  Same situation, but of course a different interpretation.


*Turkish:*
Gözden uzak, gönülden uzak. (Out of sight, out of heart.)

*German:*
Aus den Augen, aus dem Sinn (Out of sight, out of sense.) *(?)

Another in English:*
Long absent, soon forgotten.


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## Whodunit

^These sayings have nothing to do "absence makes the heart grow fonder." They are rather the opposite to the topic of this thread. In German we have:

Erst, wenn man es verliert, weiß man, was man daran hatte. (this can be used for persons and things)
_You don't know what you've had on it until you lose it._


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## gaer

Whodunit said:


> Erst, wenn man es verliert, weiß man, was man daran hatte. (this can be used for persons and things)
> You don't know what you've had on it until you lose it.


You can't translate "daran" literally that way. It makes no sense in English. I'm not sure you can even translate it in this sentence. The normal saying in English, which I believe means much the same thing is:

"You don't know what you have until you lose it."

Gaer


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## Whodunit

gaer said:


> You can't translate "daran" literally that way. It makes no sense in English.


 
I know, but since I was not able to come up with a good English equivalent, I wanted to translate it as literally as possible. How would say "etwas an jemandem haben" into English then? I've found many results on Google for "what do you have on him?," so I considered it correct.



> "You don't know what you have until you lose it."


 
Yes, except that "what you have" is present tense in English, but past in German. However, I think the present tense would be possible in German as well.


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## Chazzwozzer

Whodunit said:


> These sayings have nothing to do "absence makes the heart grow fonder." They are rather the opposite to the topic of this thread.


Which is why I quoted foxfirebrand's post: "Out of sight, out of mind." that describes the same situation with a different result.


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## Lugubert

Another "Out of sight, out of mind": Swedish "Ur syn, ur sinn."


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## Chazzwozzer

Lugubert said:


> Another "Out of sight, out of mind": Swedish "Ur syn, ur sinn."


Does it exactly mean "Out of sight, out of mind?" or like Turkish and German version, same in the first part, different in the second?


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## Setwale_Charm

Chazzwozzer said:


> Does it exactly mean "Out of sight, out of mind?" or like Turkish and German version, same in the first part, different in the second?


 
yes, that`s the literal tranlation.


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## linguist786

Whodunit said:


> These sayings have nothing to do "absence makes the heart grow fonder." They are rather the opposite to the topic of this thread. In German we have:
> 
> Erst, wenn man es verliert, weiß man, was man daran hatte. (this can be used for persons and things)
> _You don't know what you've had on it until you lose it._


If you do want it to make sense in English, it would be:

_You don't know what you've had on it until you lose it._

However this actually doesn't actually make a whole lot of sense in English. "To have something on somebody" means you know something that they did, which you can use later on to blackmail them 

The correct equivalent is the one gaer used: _You don't know what you have until you lose it._



			
				Whodunit said:
			
		

> I've found many results on Google for "what do you have on him?," so I considered it correct.


Correct, it _does_ make sense, but not in the way _you're_ thinking. "What do you have on him?" means basically "What has he done that you know?"


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## Lugubert

Chazzwozzer said:


> Does it exactly mean "Out of sight, out of mind?" or like Turkish and German version, same in the first part, different in the second?


Like Setwale Charm wrote, exactly as the English.

For linguist's "_You don't know what you have until you lose it._" we have _Man saknar inte hästen förrän stallet är tomt_, 'You don't miss the horse until the stable is empty'.


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## panjabigator

I dont have the slightest idea how I would say this in Hindi.  If I interpret the word absence to mean seperation (/viraahaa/) then I might be able to muster something up...

Perhaps /na hone se dil aur bhii tarastaa/: "Through lacking it, the heart thirsts for it."

I'll ask my dad....


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## Chazzwozzer

*French:
Loin des yeux, loin du coeur. *_(the opposite idea)
_
Keep them coming guys, it's been an interesting list so far.


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## ThomasK

Somehow this is about realizing what one lost, but I cannot seem to find an expression or proverb for that. Strange though...


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## Sheikh_14

Dear Foreros',

In your languages of expertise how would you recreate the famed quote above i.e. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Best Regards,
Sheikh


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## apmoy70

Greek:

*«Αλάργα-αλάργα το φιλί για νά 'χει νοστιμάδα»* [aˈlarɣa aˈlarɣa to fiˈli ʝa ˈna͜ çi nostiˈmaða] --> _aloof-aloof (from) the kiss (for it) to be savoury_

-MoGr colloquial (almost slangy) adv. *«αλάργα»* [aˈlarɣa] --> _aloof, at distance_ < It. _alla largo_

-MoGr fem. noun *«νοστιμάδα»* [nostiˈmaða] --> _savoury_ < Classical deverbal nominal *«νόστιμος» nóstimŏs* --> _belonging to the return_ (= Homeric masc. «νόστος» nóstŏs), also _giving produce, fruitful, nutritious_, later _delicious, palatable_ o-grade derivative from the deponent v. *«νέομαι» néŏmai̯* --> _to reach some place, escape, return, get home_ (PIE *nes- _to return, heal_ cf Proto-Germanic *nesaną > Ger. genesen, Dt. genezen) + MoGr productive feminine suffix *«-άδα»* [-aða] expanded form of the Classical 3rd declension suffix of feminine nouns *«-άς» -ás* (e.g. «κοιλ-_*άς*_» > MoGr «κοιλ-*άδα*» - deep valley, «πεδι-_*άς*_» > MoGr «πεδι-*άδα* - plain).


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## 810senior

Japanese: 逢わねばいや増す恋心awaneba iyamasu koigokoro.


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## Sheikh_14

Thank you all I look forward to responses from Spanish, Italian, French, Arabic, Urdu, Persian and Turkish speakers' with regards to the actual subject matter. Since there have been digressions.


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