# We are not dating, mainly because I'm gay.



## képi

I need to know how to say "We are not dating, mainly because I'm gay" in Chinese. I speak no Chinese, so any help will be greatly appreciated.


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## traveler2007

我们没约会,主要因为我是同志/同性恋


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## kkmp

We are not dating, mainly because I'm gay

我们 不 是 在约会，主要 因为 我是 同性恋（同志）。


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## samanthalee

Hi képi,
When you say, "We are not dating", are you saying "we are not going out on dates", or "we are not in a (romantic) relationship"?


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## Kwunlam

kkmp said:


> We are not dating, mainly because I'm gay
> 
> 我们 不 是 在约会，主要 因为 我是 同性恋（同志）。


 
By the way, "同志", in esp. Communist area, actually and originally means "comrade" (oh, "camarade" is french). 

And to use "同志" to refer to "homosexuals" is a kind of derived meaning. 

So when a Mainland Chinese person suddenly say "同志們，咱們走吧！" , he does not mean "Homoexuals, let's go!" but just "Commerades, let's go! "


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## kenny4528

Kwunlam said:


> By the way, "同志", in esp. Communist area, actually and originally means "commerade" (? Is it spelt correctly?).
> 
> And to use "同志" to refer to "homosexuals" is a kind of derived meaning.
> 
> So when a Mainland Chinese person suddenly say "同志們，咱們走吧！" , he does not mean "Homoexuals, let's go!" but just "Commerades, let's go! "


 
You have a good point.


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## kkmp

Kwunlam said:


> By the way, "同志", in esp. Communist area, actually and originally means "commerade" (? Is it spelt correctly?).
> 
> And to use "同志" to refer to "homosexuals" is a kind of derived meaning.
> 
> So when a Mainland Chinese person suddenly say "同志們，咱們走吧！" , he does not mean "Homoexuals, let's go!" but just "Commerades, let's go! "



1. 同志 is THE official name coined by a HK gay called 林奕华. It means both gay and lesbian.

2. As China is eagerly embracing capitalism under the open policy, comrades are fading away and gays rule the word 同志. 同志 could be seen everywhere on the block as well as on public media.


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## kareno999

Kwunlam said:


> By the way, "同志", in esp. Communist area, actually and originally means "comrade" (oh, "camarade" is french).
> 
> And to use "同志" to refer to "homosexuals" is a kind of derived meaning.
> 
> So when a Mainland Chinese person suddenly say "同志們，咱們走吧！" , he does not mean "Homoexuals, let's go!" but just "Commerades, let's go! "


Yes, ur right. but mostly used with some jocosity.


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## képi

samanthalee said:


> Hi képi,
> When you say, "We are not dating", are you saying "we are not going out on dates", or "we are not in a (*romantic*) *relationship*"?



I mean it in a *romantic relationship*. I am a male (I don't know if gender affects which characters are used)


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## samanthalee

OK, in that case the Taiwan colloquial way of saying it will be  "我们不在*交往*，主要因为我是*同志*。" Though I specify that it's the Taiwan way, I'm quite sure the rest of the Chinese will understand it.

In Hong Kong, it will be "我们不在*拍拖*，主要因为我是*同志*。"

The more neutral expression (i.e. not localized) will be "我们不在*恋爱*，主要因为我是*同性恋*。"

PS. Sorry I can't provide you with the China's colloquial version as I'm not very familiar with the pop culture in China.


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## kenny4528

In Taiwan, ''*我们不在交往，主要因为我是gay''* is the most common way of saying this idea.(_*Gay*_ has become dominant in recent years)


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## vince

samanthalee said:


> In Hong Kong, it will be "我们不在*拍拖*，主要因为我是*同志*。"



Sorry but I doubt that you will ever hear anyone say that, since your sentence is not written in Cantonese but in Standard Written Chinese. We will have to await a Cantonese-speaker to know what the Hong Kong version is.


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## daoxunchang

Really, I find your sentence may require some "skill" in saying out. Is the sitution like this: someone says this "I" is going out with a girl and "I" explains that it's impossible? Then I imagine "I" would stretch this "ai" in "mainly" and there is a stop after because. Am I right? If so, I would say it in Chinese like this: 我们没在约会，主要呢……是因为我是同(emphasised)性恋/gay（kenny4528 is right. It's very very common to say just "gay").


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## Kwunlam

samanthalee said:


> OK, in that case the Taiwan colloquial way of saying it will be "我们不在*交往*，主要因为我是*同志*。" Though I specify that it's the Taiwan way, I'm quite sure the rest of the Chinese will understand it.
> 
> In Hong Kong, it will be "我们不在*拍拖*，主要因为我是*同志*。"
> 
> The more neutral expression (i.e. not localized) will be "我们不在*恋爱*，主要因为我是*同性恋*。"
> 
> PS. Sorry I can't provide you with the China's colloquial version as I'm not very familiar with the pop culture in China.


 

As a Hongkonger, I would say in this place: "我o地唔係拍緊拖，其實我係「基」（gay）o既。" I used "其實" ("in fact") to replace the phrase "mainly because" (主要係因為). I don't think in common colloquial situation people would say such abstract reasoning terms such as "mainly because" (主要係因為).


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## daoxunchang

Yes, I agree. But I think you'd better translate it as close to its original meaning as possible. After all, it's a foreigner saying this sentence. Maybe he says so in Chinese but still in the "foreign" way of thinking.


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## Aoyama

Right. 
You may remember that Kepi _does not_ speak Chinese. He may therefore most probably not be able to read it as well ...
For the sake of clarity :
''*我们不在交往，主要因为我是gay'' =*wo men bu zai jiao zhu,zhu yao yin wei wo shi gay
or 我们不在*恋爱*，主要因为我是*同性恋 = *wo men bu zai lian ai, zhu yao yin wei wo shi tong xing lian
for the word gay, allow me to add/ask if *同性爱* (tong xing ai) is possible ?


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## kenny4528

*



同性爱

Click to expand...

 
It sounds unusual and stilted. I would not use it in conversation, but I think that you might see this term in the novel.*


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## Aoyama

In fact, it is the Japanese version of the word, which is supposed to have been used in Chinese as well in the 1920-30ies.


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## daoxunchang

Yes, I've seen this word in some novles of that time.


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## Kwunlam

Yes. Its origin is Japanese. But could it be the case that some people would use the word 同性"愛" to emphasise that homosexuality is actually a "LOVE" ("愛"), not just a type of sexual behaviours?


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## Aoyama

That would be a good question (pondering on the nuance between 恋　and 愛, and ,who knows , 恋愛 ...).


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## daoxunchang

As far as I've seen, no one cares to make this distinguishing. Personally, I'm strongly against such practice as to pay too much attention to "language". Language is magic. You may make people thing too much by attaching too much attention to the specific words. 
In this case, I think "恋" is good enough. I would think more of behaviour if you use "爱" because of my reading experience.


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## képi

Could one use "同性恋" to say "gay"?


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## kenny4528

képi said:


> Could one use "同性恋" to say "gay"?


 
Of course you can.


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## Zhongguoist

China doesn't really have the best history of gay rights. There might be a more diplomatic way of saying it something like 'we are not dating, but we are friends/colleagues.' I also suggest this as you don't have the Chinese language to then get into a discussion/argument about this.

And if it's a girl then you'd probably want to say 'ta1 bu4 shi4 wo3 nupengyou(she is not my girlfriend) women shi pengyou/tongxue(we are friends/coursemates) I'm not great on knowing the tones but I assume this will be fine.


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## mao27149

I think it is more natural like this : 就因为我是同志，我们没能交往


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## kareno999

képi said:


> Could one use "同性恋" to say "gay"?


Yes of course, it's the most widely used word here in Mainland China.
And it's kind of derogatory. 
同性爱 is actually a neutralized word but seldom used.


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## staquarius

我们不在约会。因为我是gay。You can say gay directly, many mainland people understand wot it means. or u can use BL .which means boys love .gay in Chinese is 男同性恋。 女同性恋 is lesbian. Also sometimes we use 玻璃（glass） instead of gay.Because 玻璃 in chinese character is Bo Li equals to BL.
By the way i am  gay。。。= =|||


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## fall_ark

to poster#28:
well, you never say you are "a" gay, just say "I'm gay" is fine

Actually, though people in mainland China are more and more open towards homosexuality, the older generation still have a negative opinion on this issue. I'd suggest you use implications when talking to people who don't accept this, like saying "我们没在交往……其实我不喜欢女人/男人的。"（We're not in a relationship....to tell the truth, I don't fancy girls/boys.）
Also you could use "我是gay" as said in #27. It's a fair call.


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## staquarius

fall_ark said:


> to poster#28:
> well, you never say you are "a" gay, just say "I'm gay" is fine
> 
> Actually, though people in mainland China are more and more open towards homosexuality, the older generation still have a negative opinion on this issue. I'd suggest you use implications when talking to people who don't accept this, like saying "我们没在交往……其实我不喜欢女人/男人的。"（We're not in a relationship....to tell the truth, I don't fancy girls/boys.）
> Also you could use "我是gay" as said in #27. It's a fair call.


Er thanks...


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## kirsitn

staquarius said:


> Also sometimes we use 玻璃(glass) instead of gay.Because 玻璃 in chinese character is Bo Li equals to BL.



Is there a similar word for lesbian or do people always use 女同性恋?


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## staquarius

kirsitn said:


> Is there a similar word for lesbian or do people always use 女同性恋?


Ah  yes  of course  ..Like 拉拉（la la ,  like a french pronuciation）　means　lesbien，Ｗe do not  always use 女同性恋


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## kirsitn

Thanks! Is that a slang word that's only used among gay people, or does everyone understand it?


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## staquarius

kirsitn said:


> Thanks! Is that a slang word that's only used among gay people, or does everyone understand it?


My pleasure Mademoiselle.~
And Lala is very popular among the young generation. Not everyone can understand it. As you know , most Chinese people,espically old generations are still against homosexual ,not only gay but also lesbien.


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## képi

staquarius said:


> My pleasure Mademoiselle.~
> And Lala is very popular among the young generation. Not everyone can understand it. As you know , most Chinese people,espically old generations are still against homosexual ,not only gay but also lesbi*a*n.


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## staquarius

képi said:


>


谢谢。（thanks）


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