# Quiet versus gregarious Italians



## Londoner06

I am curious to know more about the regional differences found on the Italian peninsula. I live in London and I interact with Italians regularly. I find it interesting that there seems to be two distinct types. Some are boisterous and very outgoing, not shy at all, very chatty and gregarious. Then I meet some who are the complete opposite, shy and quiet. I realize there are bound to be personality differences to account but I would like to know if there are distinct regional differences amongst the different regions in Italy: Sicilians, Sardinians, notherners, southerners, etc. Any thoughts??

Alex


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## TimLA

Interesting question, but take my opinions with a grain of salt - I'm biased.

Context (remember this is WR!): I'm a Yank who travels to Italy as much as possible. I've been to most of Italy's regions except Puglia, Val d'Osta, and Friuli. I look like a Yank, but I speak Italian reasonably and am able to communicate throughout the country.

I find that there is a distribution of behaviors from quiet to gregarious, just like you would see in most countries. But, in my opinion, it is skewed toward the "gregarious", but not in its usual meaning. I live near Hollywood and often hear "Hi I'm Madonna, and I'll be your waitress tonight" - while I'm thinking "Shut up! This is not a screen test!" - I've never seen this type of behavior in Italy.

If I were to describe what I have seen it would be "openness". All of my interactions have been positive. Every time I stop to ask a question of anyone, there is a smile, an understanding, and a "gift" of more than asked for - even the cop who stops me because I left my headlights off during the day! If there is any analog, I find it similar to traveling in the South, where most people go out of their way to help you.

And the fooooooood...but that would be "off topic"...


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## Paulfromitaly

You will agree with me that you can't classify people according to where they come from..However it might be true that to a certain extent people from southern Italy tend to be more chatty, outgoing and gregarious whereas Northerners (like me) tend to be warier, quieter and apparently less friendly.
Over here people mind their own business.


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## MünchnerFax

If I were to write my opinion, I'd copy-paste what Paulfromitaly has already said. (But I won't. )

One may get the impression Southeners tend to enjoy their lives more than we are used to in the North, where people are in general reserved, "business oriented" and not always friendly at the first contact. Many southeners may invite you for lunch at their homes and tell you the story of their lives soon after you knew each other, whereas many Northeners may treat you as a stranger after years - politely and kindly, but nevertheless as a stranger.

But I think this generalization is brutal and also unfair in a way. There's such a variety in Italian personalities that anything we say in this thread has to be taken very carefully. Whether people are chatty or shy, friendly or rude, gregarious or lonely depends on their charachter rather than their origin.


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## irene.acler

To answer this question I really should copy-paste MunchnerFax and Paulfromitaly opinions! 

I completely agree on the fact that we cannot categorise people according to the place they come from. But if we were to do that, I'd say that yes, southern people seem to be more friendly, open-minded and chatty (and they actually are), while people living in the North, like me, are considered to be shy, quieter, always serious. I have to say that, in a way, this is true: here in the North we are more careful when speaking to foreigners for example, but not because we are not friendly. I don't know how to explain it exactly, maybe it's part of our own personality. 
But then obviously we cannot generalise, because, as MunchnerFax said, everybody has his/her own charachter.


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## roxcyn

Each person is different, I am sure you can find gegarious people in London and very quite shy ones, right? There are different people all over the world, you know? However, I generally try to be friendly to people that are here in another country or so, maybe that is why when people come to London they want to have a good time so they are loud and such. I am like that in another country, happy and all that jazz. Do you get all happy and talk and talk? I think that is just what many people do.

Pablo


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## Lombard Beige

I agree with everything the other Italian or Italian-based correspondents have said so far, but I would go beyond the North-South distinction.  

The differences in behaviour of people in Italy, in as far as they are tied to the territory, still reflect the situation of the pre-unification States, i.e. the Piedmontese act differently from the Lombards, and the Venetians slightly differently from the people of Trento. All this because of their history: some regions were dominated by foreigners and others not, or at least for not so long, and all this is still reflected in people's behaviour at personal level.  

Concluding, social behaviour in Italy roughly corresponds to the Regions in the North, whereas in the mainland South, which was one country for about 800 years (from 1200 !!!), is more homogeneous and I think the difference is more between town and country.

regards


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## Carthusian cat

As Paul said, it's not possible to classify people.
I was born and bred in Rome, then I moved to Bologna first, and then to Vicenza. I've been living here since 12 years. My family is a mixture of different Italian cultures: my grandparents were from Rome, Palermo, Campobasso, Venezia. So my relatives are scattered all across Italy and in my life I have had the opportunity to experience different Italian ways of life.
Generally speaking, personalities and regional differences are connected to meteorological conditions… you know, in the north people are said to be colder, whereas you can find warmth in the south. But it’s not that easy. Very often I realised that being chatty and gregarious do not coincides with openness, and southerners that seem very kind, helpful and friendly can be very unwilling to completely open their minds to you and share their personal business. It’s true that if you walk into a bar in Venice you probably won’t be receiving a warm welcome, but when you find the way to an indifferent nothern heart, you find a true friend. I don’t mean southerners are like this and northerners like that, I just want to say there are so many aspects beyond appearances, and people are the same, wherever you are, the only thing that changes is their personality, but that depends on each individual and not on latitude.


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## Londoner06

Thanks to all who have responded. I am glad you understood I was only thinking in terms of "trends", as I know clearly that one cannot neatly put people into categories. Obviously many factors affect the way we are no matter where we come from. It is interesting to hear about how climate may have an effect. I think that city size can affect us as well. From my own experience here in London I can say that, being such a large city, many people seem often to be in a hurry and very busy so they may keep to themselves. 

Thanks for your invaluable input.  

Alex


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## valy822

Hi Alex, your question is very interesting as I think we all know the widespread ideas about Italians.
We know that, as already said, southerners like me are said to be very chatty, gregarious, to become too familiar with everyone. I can confirm this is true but I have to admit that there are exceptions too.
It's often true that northerners seem to be more reserved, quieter or more discreet but there are also exceptions there.
So, generalizations can be often dangerous and misleading for Italians and for strangers as well. I think they should be avoided or at least overcome. 
I agree with the others when saying that people are to be judged by their own character, irrespective of their origin.


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## Lombard Beige

valy822 said:


> ... We know that, as already said, southerners like me are said to be very chatty, gregarious, to become too familiar with everyone. I can confirm this is true but I have to admit that there are exceptions too.



Am I right in noting a difference in the South between people from the big cities like Naples or Bari and people from the country. And am I right in differentiating between the mainland and Sicily. Or perhaps the Calabrese are more similar to the Sicilians?

regards


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## Paulfromitaly

Lombard Beige said:


> Am I right in noting a difference in the South between people from the big cities like Naples or Bari and people from the country. And am I right in differentiating between the mainland and Sicily. Or perhaps the Calabrese are more similar to the Sicilians?
> 
> regards



There is always a difference between people from big cities and people from the countryside, setting aside which country we are talking about.
People who live in Brescia or Bergamo are more accustomed to dealing with "foreigners" and tourists whereas if you were to take a trip up the valleys (Val Brembana, Val Seriana, Val Camonica, Val Trompia..) you would notice how wary and reserved those folks are, if simply compared to people from the cities.
I myself had to work out a trick the first times I went up there, just to be able to have a decent conversation with the locals: I  had to approach people speaking our dialect or at least speaking Italian with a strong northern accent. Once they realised I came from the same province too, they relaxed and opened up.


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## Lombard Beige

For Pauli:

I agree with you that there is always a difference between people from big cities and people from the countryside. (I live in Treviglio which is a small city, but being so close to Milan and Bergamo is ALMOST like living in Milan, but BETTER). But I notice stronger differences between say Piedmontese and Lombards, than between people from Campania (Naples) and Puglie (Bari). But from what I am told, people from the south notice even more difference between city and countryside. It may not be true, and my view may be conditioned by the distance.

regards


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## valy822

Lombard Beige said:


> Am I right in noting a difference in the South between people from the big cities like Naples or Bari and people from the country.


 
Yes, maybe you are right. People from the country are usually more reserved than those who live in the city but also in this case I'd avoid generalizations. I know people living in the country and they are more chatty than me! Well, it depends, if there's a difference it's not so big I think (of course we are talking about the behaviour towards the stranger here).


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## Lombard Beige

valy822 said:


> Yes, maybe you are right. People from the country are usually more reserved than those who live in the city but also in this case I'd avoid generalizations. I know people living in the country and they are more chatty than me! Well, it depends, if there's a difference it's not so big I think (of course we are talking about the behaviour towards the stranger here).



Well, I'm thinking about people I've met here and to a certain extent in various parts of the world, from places like Benevento versus people from the city of Naples, or from rural Puglie vs Bari, and we seem to have the same impression.  

People I mix with here also seem to recognize a very cultured, sophisticated "signorile" type of person from the city of Naples, like Vittorio De Sica Sr. *, not quiet, but very affable and polite, but then there is also another kind of Neapolitan that you know better than us ...  

* Christian De Sica instead is more "Roman", "simpatico ma non signorile" (and I won't translate that) 

Lastly, I still have my doubts re the Sicilians. I think they are different from the mainland southerners, generally less open to outsiders, but again I notice a difference between people from the big cities, and those from the country. My little personal generalization or stereotype is that the Sicilians are excellent (true and loyal) friends, but rather closed to outsiders, and it is wise not to have them as enemies ... 

As I said, I am aware that these are generalizations, but I think generalizations can be a practical tool and serve as a preliminary guide on how to behave in a new place to avoid unintentional mistakes with devastating consequences: once you know the person, some Sicilians are more like people from Amsterdam, and some people from Amsterdam are more like Sicilians, right?

I didn't mention the Sardinians, but they are really different from everyone else ... except for the occasional (Sardinian) Amsterdamers ...

regards and bacio le mani


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## Paulfromitaly

Lombard Beige said:


> Well, I'm thinking about people I've met here and to a certain extent in various parts of the world, from places like Benevento versus people from the city of Naples, or from rural Puglie vs Bari, and we seem to have the same impression.
> 
> People I mix with here also seem to recognize a very cultured, sophisticated "signorile" type of person from the city of Naples, like Vittorio De Sica Sr. *, not quiet, but very affable and polite, but then there is also another kind of Neapolitan that you know better than us ...
> 
> * Christian De Sica instead is more "Roman", "simpatico ma non signorile" (and I won't translate that)
> 
> Lastly, I still have my doubts re the Sicilians. I think they are different from the mainland southerners, generally less open to outsiders, but again I notice a difference between people from the big cities, and those from the country. My little personal generalization or stereotype is that the Sicilians are excellent (true and loyal) friends, but rather closed to outsiders, and it is wise not to have them as enemies ...
> 
> As I said, I am aware that these are generalizations, but I think generalizations can be a practical tool and serve as a preliminary guide on how to behave in a new place to avoid unintentional mistakes with devastating consequences: once you know the person, some Sicilians are more like people from Amsterdam, and some people from Amsterdam are more like Sicilians, right?
> 
> I didn't mention the Sardinians, but they are really different from everyone else ... except for the occasional (Sardinian) Amsterdamers ...
> 
> regards and bacio le mani



Interesting point of you..
Now I'm wondering why, even though you've been living in Treviglio, you haven't expressed you opinion about Bergamaschi who are supposed to be the folks you know better.
My grandad was Bergamasco, therefore I've got dozen of relatives scattered along the province and I'd be quite curious to hear your opinion about us..(no worries, we don't use the lupara over here  )


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## Lombard Beige

Paulfromitaly said:


> ... Now I'm wondering why, even though you've been living in Treviglio, you haven't expressed you opinion about Bergamaschi ...



Well, if you ask for it ...

Trying to stay on topic, I find the people from Bergamo and Brescia very similar, but, as already mentioned, there is a noticeable difference between the people who live in the valleys and those who live down on the plain. The latter are more similar to the Milanese, i.e. more gregarious and talkative ...  like me ... while the others are, as you said, more quiet. 

[They are all, however, hard workers and very "serious", but they tend to neglect their formal education and go to work as soon as they find a job. (Unemployment here is practically ZERO). I think complete outsiders are, on the whole, well received, so any of our co forer@s can come here and not expect to be treated badly. There are beautiful lakes and mountains, as well as a wealth of artistic treasures and monuments.]

My main point remains that I think that here in the North of Italy, as a whole, the people differ considerably, not just from region to region, as they do in Spain for instance, but also from province to province. Bergamo is just a few miles from Milan, but the atmosphere changes completely, as it does in Piedmont to the west, or in Emilia to the south.  

regards


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## Paulfromitaly

Lombard Beige said:


> My main point remains that I think that here in the North of Italy, as a whole, the people differ considerably, not just from region to region, as they do in Spain for instance, but also from province to province. Bergamo is just a few miles from Milan, but the atmosphere changes completely, as it does in Piedmont to the west, or in Emilia to the south.
> 
> regards



I must say that this 75% Bresciano - 25% Bergamasco agrees with you: although Treviglio is very close to the border between Bergamo and Milan you can tell that folks have a different approach to strangers and this diversity gets more remarkable as you move towards the valleys or towards the core of the Bergamo province.
Likewise people from Emilia have a very different attitude towards strangers: they are open and chatty, as if they were "northern southerners".


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## Lombard Beige

Paulfromitaly said:


> ... Likewise people from Emilia have a very different attitude towards strangers: they are open and chatty, as if they were "northern southerners".



Well, that explains my genetic mix: half Emilian and half Irish, "the Latins of the North".

regards


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## DAH

My experiences in Italia have mostly been in the North.  I've either been so lost or so tired that I've had to resort to Spanish or French to survive, and still I was treated very well.  When I chatted-up someone in German that too got me beaucoup results!  Heck, we're all people just reaching out from time to time.


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## Lombard Beige

For DAH, in particular:

Well German is a "co-official" language in South Tirol (Alto Adige in Italian, around Bozen-Bolzano). Elsewhere it's less well known, but in the tourist areas, like Venice, the Lakes, the beaches of Jesolo and Romagna, or the Ligurian Riviera, I think you would find quite a few people to chat with. English should be better known. French used to be widely studied, while Spanish is fairly close to Italian, so speaking slowly, using your hands [as means of expression I mean  ] and patience, you shouldn't have any problems ...

In general, as everyone seems to agree, all the Italians, including the German * and Slavic speakers, tend to be more gregarious than people north of the Alps (Oltralpe, in Italian). It must be the sun 

* German-speaking (and Ladin-speaking) Italians are prominent in the Italian ski and ice-skating teams

regards


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## Lombard Beige

Two of my grandchildren live in *Tuscany*. The girl Ambra was born here in Bergamo, *Lombardy*, and, compared to the *Tuscans*, she is a *quiet Italian*, while her brother, Matteo, is a more *gregarious Italian*, like the Tuscans in general. (They both speak with a Florentine accent, and you can't get much more Italian than that). However, I think that, compared to non *Italians*, even the quietest Italians, regardless of regional differences, would be considered *gregarious*. I think it's also part of the reason why, to other people, *most Italians* seem to be *happy *(despite the political problems, practical difficulties in daily life, etc.)

regards


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## Chaska Ñawi

Moderator Note:  Here is the original topic.  If discussion on it is exhausted, the thread will be put out to join less gregarious company.  Thanks.



> I am curious to know more about the regional differences found on the Italian peninsula. I live in London and I interact with Italians regularly. I find it interesting that there seems to be two distinct types. Some are boisterous and very outgoing, not shy at all, very chatty and gregarious. Then I meet some who are the complete opposite, shy and quiet. I realize there are bound to be personality differences to account but I would like to know if there are distinct regional differences amongst the different regions in Italy: Sicilians, Sardinians, notherners, southerners, etc. Any thoughts??


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## federicoft

Londoner06 said:


> I am curious to know more about the regional differences found on the Italian peninsula. I live in London and I interact with Italians regularly. I find it interesting that there seems to be two distinct types. Some are boisterous and very outgoing, not shy at all, very chatty and gregarious. Then I meet some who are the complete opposite, shy and quiet. I realize there are bound to be personality differences to account but I would like to know if there are distinct regional differences amongst the different regions in Italy: Sicilians, Sardinians, notherners, southerners, etc. Any thoughts??
> 
> Alex



Of course there is plenty of regional stereotypes here in Italy. Generally speaking there is a North/South, country/city, islands/mainland divide but there are as many different flavours of "local being" as cities. According to the popular cliché people from Piedmont, Valle d'Aosta, Trentino or Friuli are know for being very impassive and restrained (as as the saying goes: Piedmontese false and courteous), while Lombards or Venetians are said to being much more cheerful (especially in front of a glass of grappa ). The Milanese are know for being quite noisy and exuberant, in every sense. People from Liguria sometimes are even decripted as surly, while people from Emilia-Romagna are considered so open by northern standards they are called "southerners of the North". 
Tuscans are not know for being very reserved, however many say they are a little haughty, especially towards strangers. Romans are know for being very friendly and open, but nobody as as much as Neapolitans, the typical example of Italian gregariousness.
People from the Marches, Abruzzo, Sardinia and Basilicata are usually very reserved and quiet.
Also Sicilians are considered very quiet, phlegmatic, thoughtful...
I don't think your personality can be so affected by the place where you born, but maybe there is a bit of truth in every one of these stereotypes. As a general trend I think Italians are more reserved and aloof toward strangers than thought, especially far from big cities.
I hope nobody will get offended by what I just wrote.


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