# 恭敬不如从命



## kyotan

大家好。

I have a Chinese pen-pal.

We were messaging on Skype.

He is studying to pass N1 exam, which is a Japanese proficiency test. The test is in July.
I teach him Japanese, and he teaches me Mandarin.
He probably is more desperate than I am to practice speaking the language.
Yesterday, we said we would talk the next day (which is today).

This morning, I messaged him asking if he would be available from 19:00 for him to practice speaking Japanese, and for me to practice pronouncing Mandarin.

He said in Japanese, "お言葉に甘えます! "
It means yes. It is only used when someone offers to do you a favor and you take it but you know you can't give back the same kindness/action. You are happy to be offered such kindness. You can say "no", if that is not necessary.

So, in this case, I'm learning Mandarin from him too, so "お言葉に甘えます! " isn't the best reply. I explained to him that.

Then he wrote in Chinese, "那就恭敬不如从命."

"恭敬不如从命" is something to use, when you don't want to be rude and say "no", isn't it? 

Does that mean, he wants to say "no" but he didn't want to be rude?
What does "恭敬不如从命" exactly mean?

谢谢。


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## retrogradedwithwind

恭敬不如从命 
It basically means I will do as you say.

Originally, it means.... Errrr... how to explain it...
When you visit a friend, he asks you to sit down, but you think it is not ok because sitting down before him doesn't look 恭敬.
But 恭敬不如从命, so I sit down because of your words.

恭敬不如从命 is polite language, which can be used under the occisions that are similar to what I said above.


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## kyotan

谢谢, retro! 

Is this politeness common or even necessary among friends, who are about the same age?

I'm wondering maybe if my pen-pal is very polite to me because he wants to learn the polite Japanese for work, and/or I am much older than he is.


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## twinklestar

Hello Kyotan,

I'd like to break down the phrase, so that you might be able to understand that more thoroughly.

*Breakdown:*

1. 恭敬：very respectful 
恭：The etymology of this character was to worship a dragon, which is the totem of the Chinese people. And then it refers to respect only.
敬：=respect
Thus the word (two characters together) means very respectful.

2. 不如：rather than
不：not
如：as

3. 从命：obedient = following the order, request
从:follow
命: order, demand, request, etc.

Thus, the whole phrase literally means "(I am saying I am) very respectful to you rather than being following your order, request (directly)".  The speaker is willing/happy to follow the request of the listener's via action to show his/her respect, obedience, instead of just mouthing that.

恭敬不如从命 = that refers to the speaker humbly follow your request, mostly pleasant proposal, offer, favor, treat, etc. (of course, sometimes that could be unpleasant.)

For one example:  as the situation you illustrated.



kyotan said:


> It is only used when someone offers to do you a favor and you take it but you know you can't give back the same kindness/action. You are happy to be offered such kindness.




*Usage: *

－This phrase can be used among friends, or a person says to another person who is more senior, i.e. age, or social status.

－Somtimes that has a little connotation of joking/ humour among friends or family, and then it simply means "okay". It is not necessary being very polite at the face value of the phrase I've explained above.

Tom: 今天晚上到我家来玩。Tonight come to my home to kill time together.
Peter: 恭敬不如从命。okey-donkey ( Don't imply much politeness, but simply okay. )

－EDIT: *It is hardly used in a formal or very serious reply beause generally it has more or less sense of humour. For example, if a boss/general seriously asked an employee/ soldiers to his office at once, it was very inappropriate to answer "恭敬不如从命", but 是(的)，好(的)，etc.*


*The meaning in your context:*



kyotan said:


> This morning, I messaged him asking if he would be available from 19:00 for him to practice speaking Japanese, and for me to practice pronouncing Mandarin.



I wouldn't like to overly intrepret that is because you're senior than he,  but I think many Chinese persons are glad to oblige and show their friendness and respect to other people if those requests are within their capacities.

Your language exchange partner meant he would like to happliy follow your suggest, proposal, and okay.


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## retrogradedwithwind

恭敬不如从命 is usually used to repalce "yes" today when most people say it


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## kyotan

感謝你的詳細解答 twinklestar!
Thank you again, retro!


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## coolfool

恭敬不如从命

According to 《《红楼梦》英译艺术比较研究 – 基于霍克思和杨宪益译本》 by Dang Zheng-sheng (党争胜) published by Beijing University (北京大学) in 2012, the job done by David Hawkes is
_Obedience is the best obeisance._
whereas the one by Hsien-yi and Gladys Yang (杨宪益和戴乃迭) is
_(We’d) better to do as (she asks) instead of standing on ceremony._

The above-mentioned pieces are for your reference only of course.

By the way, we may perhaps say
_Bowing to request instead of respect matters more._
or
_Regard rather than acquiescing in appeal counts less._

To put it simply, we could also utter
_I'll soldier along / on._
as in
I won’t eat shark fin. Well, if I find myself at a Chinese banquet where I’m the guest of honor, and it is served to me by a proud Chinese host, okay, I’ll _soldier along_ and I’ll eat. But it’s incredibly cruel. It’s wasteful. They cut the fins off and throw the shark back in. – _Interview: Anthony Bourdain_, page 46, _Playboy_, Nov.2011


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## kyotan

谢谢！


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## do10292

[Moderator's Note: Merged with a previous thread]
Hello

This is from a Chinese movie. An Old man says: 恭敬不如从命
The English subtitles in the movie says: Better to obey than have respects to pay!

Can someone please tell me what does it mean in English?


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## bsbaby

Yes @kyotan I agree your friend is not using either term correctly. I don't know Japanese お言葉に甘えます! , but he is not using the term 恭敬不如从命 appropriately in this context.
However, 恭敬不如从命 seems to be a suitable translation of お言葉に甘えます according to your explanation.
I guess that's why your pen-pal is using this slightly dated term.
And don't worry, your friend is not refusing at all, he is very happy to meet you and it is just a way to show you are being very kind to him and he is flattered.



twinklestar said:


> Thus, the whole phrase literally means "(I am saying I am) very respectful to you rather than being following your order, request (directly)". The speaker is willing/happy to follow the request of the listener's via action to show his/her respect, obedience, instead of just mouthing that.
> 
> 恭敬不如从命 = that refers to the speaker humbly follow your request, mostly pleasant proposal, offer, favor, treat, etc. (of course, sometimes that could be unpleasant.)



I don't think so. The term means *"I will follow your kind request rather than sticking to conteous rules"*
And the request is always (99.99999999%) *pleasant. *
In longer description, this term means
“Thank you very much, I will do as you said (*and I am aware that doing so will give you extra work/trouble*)".

Perhaps most common example in modern Chinese:
You visited your friend, and your friend asked you to stay for dinner and he will cook for you.
You cannot refuse so you replied: 恭敬不如从命

In older Chinese context,
Example
An ordinary person meets a superior officer.
Officer: Please take a seat.
Person: 恭敬不如从命 (Thank you very much for allowing me to sit, although by traditional conteous rule I shall remain standing when I meet you)


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## NantongRen

恭敬不如从命 means yes and very polite. just like "would you like" VS "will you like". there is no "NO" means in it.


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## brofeelgood

恭敬 = To be polite and respectful
不如 = cannot compare to / might as well
从命 = To oblige or obey


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## Skatinginbc

1. 恭敬(NP)不如(VP)從命(NP) ==> Here, 不如 means "cannot compare to" (see Brofeelgood's #12)
2. (與其)恭敬(VP)不如(comparative conjunction)從命(VP) ==> as in Post #1 Kyotan's question.  As already pointed out by other posters, it bears some (only some) resemblance to English "rather than" construction (i.e., rather 從命 than 恭敬; 從命 rather than 恭敬).  恭敬 is the subordinate clause and 從命 the main clause.  That is to say, the main idea of 那你就恭敬不如從命吧 is 那你就從命吧  ("you might as well obey";  Here, 不如 means "might as well", see Brofeelgood's #12 ), and the main idea of 那我就(恭敬不如)從命了 is 那我就從命了。 The 恭敬 part is an extra comparison.


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