# Weddings



## Oche Gruso

What are some wedding traditions? i.e., do you give a "bridal shower" or a "bachelor party"? What about the ceramony? Is it long or short? What do the vows consist of? Do any cultures still have the words "to love, honor and obey" for the woman?  I would love to know what is customary for especially Italian, Irish and Egyptian customs.


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## rhiannonhelen

In England we don't have "bridal showers".  The bride has a "hen night" which usually involves dressing up in "L" plates and getting very drunk, and men have a "stag do" which also usually involves drink and often strippers!  I think the actual ceremony is pretty much the same as the American ceremony.


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## Oche Gruso

Pardon my ignorance, but what is an "L" plate?


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## rhiannonhelen

Maybe you only get them in England! It's a white square with a red "L" on it and you have to put it on your car when you're learning to drive so people know you're a learner.  I don't really know why brides-to-be sometimes wear them!


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## Oche Gruso

Huh, I've never heard of/seen that.  That's awesome!


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## Oche Gruso

Well, what about bouquet throwing?  Is that only done in America?  Does any other country have that?


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## maxiogee

Irish brides usually throw their bouquet, but there is a custom for them not to leave the hotel where the reception is held, and so the occasion doesn't arise. 
Most couples take a room in the hotel where the reception is held, and so they usually just dance till they drop and then slip off to bed. There used to be a custom that even if they were staying in the same place, they made a pretence of leaving and were wished farewell by their guests. Then they drove off down the road a few hundred yards and came back quietly.


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## ingle85

In Italy we have the bouquet throwing too.
instead of saying "stag night",can I say "bucksnight"?


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## maxiogee

No. It's stag/hen night.


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## ingle85

my boyfriend says  bucksnight..he lives in australia.I don't know if it comes from australian slang


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## Jihan

In venezuela we have a "bachelor´s party" and a "bachelorette´s party as well. And we also throw the bouquet, but we do not leave the party early. Our weddings tend to be in between 6 and 8 pm so we stay at the party until 4 or 5 am.  It´s very common for the remaining guests to have some "arepas" (breakfast dish) at that time.


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## Boyd

Hi. In Manitoba (Canada) a "social" is held before the wedding in addition to any showers or stag nights. The social is a money-making event basically. The family of the couple and their friends sell tickets and anyone is invited. A large hall is rented and food provided. Drinks are sold and sometimes they will have a raffle of some prize. I've been to 2 of them. One was quite large and we had great food and a lot of fun and at the other the food was a plate of potatoe chips on your table and some coldcuts and a bun. Whatever profit is made goes to the couple but they are only allowed to have one social per couple.


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## maxiogee

How very distastefully mercenary. 
It reminds me of the Dollar-dances of American weddings.


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## coquita

In Argentina, women have a "hen night" where the bride is dressed in sexy outfits (naughty nurse, playboy bunny, etc) and men have a "stag night" (usually, they're dressed up as naughty nurses and playboy bunnies, too!). They are taken out on the streets and after that, both men and women usually go to a stripper's club or dancing.

In the wedding ceremony we don't make vows or have bride mates. You can choose among some standard phrases, from the typical "in sickness and in health" to other updated versions which are much nicer.

If the party is at night, it usually starts around 9/10 PM and both the bride and groom dance waltzes with the guests. Apart from the bouquet throwing, single women pick a lace from a bowl of laces and the one who gets the lace with a ring at the end, is supposed to get married soon.

By the end of the party -usually 5/6 AM when everybody is drunk- we have the "Carnaval carioca" where Brazilian and fun music is played and all the guests wear funny hats, maracas, etc. The bride and groom are lifted up in the air. 

The party is over at around 7 AM and after everybody is gone, the bride and groom go to the hotel.


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## Coventina

Ingle85,
Yes in Australia we do say 'bucks night'. We also use 'hens night' but I have never heard the word "stag night' being used here.

Ciao.


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## Chaska Ñawi

In rural Ontario they have a party for both bride and groom, called a "buck and doe".  I never heard of the "social" described in Manitoba, however.  

In urban Ontario they're more likely to follow the idea of a bridal shower and a stag party, although it doesn't necessarily involve the idea of naughty outfits and strip clubs.

As far as weddings go, there are so many variations that I'll only speak for the Friends' (Quaker's) perspective.  We don't have clergy (or rather, we are all clergy), and believe that the couple are married by God, not by human words.  The wedding takes place during a meeting of silent worship (which can be really hard on people not familiar with this tradition), interspersed with ministry from members of the congregation.  When they feel led to do so, the bride and groom rise and take each other as life partners.  There are no vows and no service.

After the wedding, every person present, even the children, signs the certificate of marriage as witnesses.  These are treasured documents.

Then we eat, dance, kick up our heels, etc.


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## maxiogee

Chaska Ñawi said:
			
		

> After the wedding, every person present, even the children, sign the certificate of marriage as witnesses.  These are treasured documents.



Wow, that must make for great social history, and easy genealogical research! Brilliant idea!


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## se16teddy

rhiannonhelen said:
			
		

> In England we don't have "bridal showers". The bride has a "hen night" which usually involves dressing up in "L" plates and getting very drunk, and men have a "stag do" which also usually involves drink and often strippers! I think the actual ceremony is pretty much the same as the American ceremony.


A few year ago 'stag nights' and 'hen nights' were parties lasting just a few hours, usually the night before the wedding. They are now transforming into 'stag weekends' and 'hen weekends', when the bride and groom (separately of course) go off with half a dozen or a dozen friends to a place where it is more fun and / or cheaper than in the UK to spend several days doing nothing but drinking and painting the town red. Surprisingly, a number of popular stag weekend / hen weekend destinations (Dublin, Cork, Galway, Prague, Vilnius, Tallinn) actually seem to encourage them!



			
				Oche Gruso said:
			
		

> Well, what about bouquet throwing? Is that only done in America? Does any other country have that?


Despite the fact that it is a deplorable foreign habit, under the influence of a thousand American films bouquet throwing is very much taking off in the UK now as well.



			
				Oche Gruso said:
			
		

> What are some wedding traditions? i.e., do you give a "bridal shower" or a "bachelor party"? What about the ceramony? Is it long or short? What do the vows consist of? Do any cultures still have the words "to love, honor and obey" for the woman? I would love to know what is customary for especially Italian, Irish and Egyptian customs.


Oh, another thing: for good luck English brides always have to wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue at the wedding.

Oh, and another thing.  The groom always appoints a close friend to be his 'best man'.  The best man's jobs are
1) to make sure that the groom gets to the wedding, no matter how much he has drunk the night before
2) at all costs, to take the ring to the wedding, and
3) to make a speech to all the relatives at the reception after the wedding. This speech must contain lots of embarrasing revelations about the groom's bad behaviour before the wedding, and an assurance that he will be a reformed personality in future.


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## Krümelmonster

When I was in Prague I met an English groom who spent there 12 days with 12 friends and each day (or night) one of his friends had a test or challenge for him he had to solve... I liked that idea very much...


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## helen80

In Spain the bride takes the pins which has been part of the bouquet during most of the night (to bring all flowers together) and puts them on the dresses of single women, upsidedown. If you lose them, you'll get married


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## Krümelmonster

so marriage is a form of punishment...?


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## Oche Gruso

They don't call it "the old ball and chain" for nothing.  lol


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## mithrellas

helen80 said:
			
		

> In Spain the bride takes the pins which has been part of the bouquet during most of the night (to bring all flowers together) and puts them on the dresses of single women, upsidedown. If you lose them, you'll get married


 
I'm spanish too but I never hear about that. Is that a local custom?

In Catalonia the bouquet is a gift from the groom to the bride and he has a 'padrí', kind of a best man (usually is the groom's brother, if he has one) who is in charge to bring the bouquet to the bride's house in his behalf (because the groom can not see the bride before the ceremony) and usually reads a poem about how lucky they are to have found each other or something about the marriage...

Later at the reception the bride usually give the bouquet to a single woman. In the origin the meaning of the gesture was to hope that the buoquet brings her luck to find a good man too.

The married couple also give the cake's bride and groom to a couple who they think will be the next to get married (like a baton of a race?)

I hope I explain it understandable.  
Do not hesitate to correct my English, I'm learning.


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## cuchuflete

maxiogee said:
			
		

> How very distastefully mercenary.
> It reminds me of the Dollar-dances of American weddings.



Hi Tony,

Please enlighten me.  What on earth is a Dollar-dance?  Is it something you've seen in movies, or is it a rite actually practiced on these shores?   I've been to lots of weddings, and even a few divorce celebration parties, and have never come across such a ritual.

always a day late and a dollar short,
cuchu


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## maxiogee

se16teddy said:
			
		

> Surprisingly, a number of popular stag weekend / hen weekend destinations (Dublin, Cork, Galway, Prague, Vilnius, Tallinn) actually seem to encourage them!



Not true. Dublin actively discourages them. 
Publicans in Temple Bar in Dublin's tourist zone banded together to bar these groups, as they were losing the business of other tourists who were deterred from going to the bars and restaurants in the area by staggering bands of drunken British stags and hens widdling and puking in the narrow streets there.



			
				cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Hi Tony,
> 
> Please enlighten me. What on earth is a Dollar-dance? Is it something you've seen in movies, or is it a rite actually practiced on these shores? I've been to lots of weddings, and even a few divorce celebration parties, and have never come across such a ritual.


A friend from California told me in details of the practice at her family and friends weddings - people pin money to the bride's dress and buy a dance from her. I've no idea how widespread the activity is, but not one American on the forum where this was explained (and there were many active Americans there) said they had never come across it. Several backed her tale.


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## ElaineG

> but not one American on the forum where this was explained (and there were many active Americans there) said they had never come across it.


 
Different forum, but I've never come across it.  I wonder if it's more popular in some ethnic groups or regions than in others.

(Of course, I am famous for hating to go to weddings, so...)


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## cuchuflete

maxiogee said:
			
		

> A friend from California told me in details of the practice at her family and friends weddings - people pin money to the bride's dress and buy a dance from her. I've no idea how widespread the activity is, but not one American on the forum where this was explained (and there were many active Americans there) said they had never come across it. Several backed her tale.



Several tailed her back?  Maybe they were after the pins.

Honestly, I've not only not seen it, but I'd never heard of it.
Californians are special.  I once....thousands of years ago...even married one.  None of the Californian family and friends in attendance attempted to pin anything on the bride, not even blame for a parking ticket.  "...many active Americans.." might also benefit from a definition.

Brides selling dances?  Are you quite sure this was a wedding custom, and not a 1940s dance hall?


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## maxiogee

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Californians are special.



Yes, indeed. However the word "needs" did not accompany this woman's specialness. 
And, as far as I know the families involved were from a none-too-weird Christian denomination. It's obviously not a _huge_ thing, as my just-exceuted Google-search found 48,000 hits for "dollar dance".


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## cuchuflete

Thanks Tony,

I tried google, just to see if dollar dance and weddings had a strong correlation...they seem to.  I also found this:



> *Dollar Dance* is a wedding reception tradition, Polish in its roots, whereby guests at a reception pay to dance with the bride or groom. The purpose of this was to give the couple a little extra cash to spend on their honeymoon or in their new - joint - life. Contributions could be pinned to a sash or put in a purse (for the bride), and could be of any amount, or none, as determined by the donor. It can be seen as tacky or even an off-beat form of prostitution in some eyes, it's not meant as such.


 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_Dance


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## la reine victoria

Paying to dance with the bride is also a Cuban practice.




> The reception at a Cuban wedding is alive with music and dancing .Each man that dances with the bride must pin money to her dress. All the guests bring presents, and these are displayed on a large table. The bride and groom also give a gift to each guest, thanking them for attending.


 
Source




LRV
lkml


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## Oche Gruso

I have seen the dollar dance in NYC and in New Jersey, and both families were indeed Polish.  My husband was talking about it with me when we were first engaged, but I immediately stopped that idea simply because of the similarity to prostitution.  I also stopped that whole garter thing...  Why would anyone go up a woman's dress in public?!


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## mithrellas

A similar thing happens here in some weddings (I think this happens in gipsy people weddings). 
At the reception, someone cut the groom's tie and the bride's garter in small parts with scissors so people can 'buy' them to help the couple with money.
I have never seen this so, maybe someone who have seen it could explain it better.

Corrections are welcome.


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## Auryn

At my cousin's wedding (in northern France, back in the 80's), the bride stood on a table and a male relative took off her garter, which was then auctioned off to the highest bidder, with profits going to the couple. Everyone else had a laugh (or pretended to!) but I found the whole thing rather distasteful 

I recently attended a Polish wedding (in Poland) where, instead of the bouquet, the bride's veil and the groom's tie were thrown. First the bride sat on a chair in the middle of the room and all the women walked around her in a circle, and she threw her veil behind her head. Then the groom did the same with the men. The two people the objects landed on had to dance together, wearing said objects. The woman in question happened to be me, even though I tried to get out of the way 

The bridesmaids also took off the bride and groom's shoes, who then had to buy them back with bottles of vodka, after much bartering.

No zloty dance though


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## emma42

I wonder if the "dollar dance" is related to the simple pinning of paper money to the bride's dress that I have seen in Jewish weddings?  Is it a Polish-Jewish tradition perhaps, which has, in some instances, lost the "paying for a dance" element?

You can have a Best Woman now in England (I suppose it's a new type of Maid of Honour).  I know, because I was my sister's Best Woman.  I had to hold her glasses for her so she could get married with her lovely eyes undiminished by glass windows.  I think she must have thought that neither "maid" nor "honour" were appropriate in my case!  I expect I would also have had to wear a pastel suit and there was NO WAY....


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## Honour

In Turkey, bride and her relatives arrange a night called "kına gecesi" (henna night) but nowadays it is an obsolete tradition and not so common. According to another tradition it is believed that he who steps onto the other's foot after marriage statement is signed will be the one to rule the marriage and the home. Generally we (men) let women to step over but never let them to rule  . This is a very common tradition. We rarely throw bouquets but brides closest friend who wants to get married may write her name under one of the bride's shoes. Marriage statement is signed with two witnesses and they signed it too. Guests are expected to either attach money or golden coins to one of the couple's clothes. These are the ones i remember.


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## Oche Gruso

That's really interesting!  Actually, I have heard of the tradition that Turk mentioned with the feet, however I was told that whomever buys something first after the couple is wed will be the one to dominate in the relationship.  In that case the woman usually secretly exchanges money for a piece of lint or some thing with the maid of honour when she goes to take her bouquet from her.


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## Oche Gruso

Does anyone know the origin of the something old, something new, something borrowed an something blue?All thatI know is that it has to do with superstition.


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## Bettie

In some weddings in Mexico, specially where the couple doesn't have much money the Bride visits each table so people can pin money on her dresse, very distasteful!!!! 

In Mexico we have "Despedidas de Soltera y de soltero" but they can be more than one for both the bride and the groom and they are not the night before the wedding!!!!

In my town there is this Despedida de soltera bíblica" where friends and family give the Bride "presents" related with what marriage should be according to the Catholic Religion.

People don't kiss inside the Church and it takes about an hour the whole ceremony if it's Catholic.


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## lizzeymac

Oche Gruso said:
			
		

> Does anyone know the origin of the something old, something new, something borrowed an something blue?All thatI know is that it has to do with superstition.



The complete verse is:

Something old, something new 
Something borrowed, something blue 
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

This has an interesting explanation, it is the same story my grandmother told me:
http://ask.yahoo.com/20031027.html


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## aledraka

lizzeymac said:
			
		

> The complete verse is:
> 
> Something old, something new
> Something borrowed, something blue
> And a silver sixpence in her shoe.


 
I like that custom, it's nice and meaningful  

Talking about Italy.. I don't know if this is just a local custom, but in smaller northern towns the couple's friends play funny jokes, either on marriage day, or on marriage night.. when my sister got married, her husband's friend wrapped up their car with toilet paper; moreover they had to saw a huge tree trunk: that was the only way to get out of the church yard.. and so on and so on..
Tricks are also played on "addio al nubilato - literally:farewell to spinsterhood", for women, and "addio al celibato - literally:farewell to celibacy", for men


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## lizzeymac

I was hoping somone from the American South could explain this tradition but none have appeared.  Aledraka's post reminded me of "Shivaree."  I went to a wedding & shivari in Lousiana last year, this explanation is from the wedding invitation. It was like cross between New Year's Eve & a small Mardi Gras or Carnivale festival.

Shivaree is the most common American regional form of charivari, a French word meaning “a noisy mock serenade for newlyweds” and probably from a Late Latin word meaning “headache.” 
The term, most likely borrowed from French traders and settlers along the Mississippi River; an account dated 1805 describes a shivaree in New Orleans: “The house is mobbed by thousands of the people of the town, vociferating and shouting with loud acclaim…. [M]any [are] in disguises and masks; and all have some kind of discordant and noisy music, such as old pots & pans, and shovels, and tongs. 

The word shivaree is especially common along and west of the Mississippi River. Some regional equivalents are "belling", used in Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan; "horning", from upstate New York, northern Pennsylvania, and western New England; and "serenade", a term used chiefly in the South Atlantic states.​


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## Oche Gruso

I never heard of that in my life!  Curious!


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## se16teddy

Speaking of 'funny jokes', there is a tradition (more honoured in the breach than in the observance) of leaving the 'stag' in an embarrassing predicament on the night before the wedding, for example leaving him in his hotel without any clothes, or leaving him handcuffed, naked and chained to a lampost. The press brought this tradition to Prince Charles's attention at the time of his wedding. From the Guardian: '[Prince William's] father's claims to connect with modern life were further dented when his sons had to explain to him, in answer to another question, what a stag night was. Asked whether they had chained their father to a lamppost, the princes laughed loudly while Charles was heard wondering why they would have done that.' http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1449893,00.html


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## TrentinaNE

lizzeymac said:
			
		

> I went to a wedding & shivari in Lousiana last year, this explanation is from the wedding invitation. It was like cross between New Year's Eve & a small Mardi Gras or Carnivale festival.
> 
> Shivaree is the most common American regional form of charivari, a French word meaning “a noisy mock serenade for newlyweds” and probably from a Late Latin word meaning “headache.”​


​If I recall correctly, there is a shivaree in the musical *Oklahoma!* after Curly and Laurie get married.  Judd plans to kill Curly under cover of the shivaree chaos.  I've never come across the word in any other setting.


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## lizzeymac

TrentinaNE said:
			
		

> [/INDENT]If I recall correctly, there is a shivaree in the musical *Oklahoma!* after Curly and Laurie get married.  Judd plans to kill Curly under cover of the shivaree chaos.  I've never come across the word in any other setting.



Yes, _Oklahoma_ was the first thing I thought of when I read the invitation.  
The wedding was in bayou country, during the fall "so the alligators would be sleepy & slow" from the cool weather - I am not kidding.  
There was a mix of modern & traditional customs but the shivaree was the family's genuine retained culture, not borrowed or put on for the event.  When the couple left the reception to go home for their wedding night, everyone followed & continued the party on their front porch. The band sang romantic & slightly rude Cajun songs about love as a seranade until dawn.


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## TrentinaNE

Actually, now that I think about it, wasn't there something like this in the movie *Ryan's Daughter* as well?  It's been ages since I saw it (circa 1971?), but I recall there being a gang of locals under the bedroom window as Sarah Miles and Robert Mitchum consummated (or attempted to) their May-December marriage.  Maybe not so much a shivaree though, as just rude behavior.


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## Oche Gruso

Wow, those people are horrible.  THat's almost as bad as when European royalty would have spectators for their consumation.  Can you imaging doing that in front of eight to fifteen people?


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## dinio

Here's another one:  all the single women write their names on the soles of the bride's shoes. The name that has not rubbed off by the end of the night indicates the person who will be the next to marry.


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## dinio

sorry, forgot to mention that this (writing of names on bottom of shoes) might take place in Greece


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## GenJen54

I'm from that state in "the South" which inspired the musical. I have never heard "shivaree" mentioned outside of that context. Keep in mind, the timeframe of that musical was around the turn of the Century. Oklahoma was granted statehood in 1907, when fringe-topped surries and horse-drawn wagons were still the primary means of transportation around here.

It's possible this tradition still exists in small rural areas. I've not heard of it actually taking place. 

On the contrary, when I visited France to participate in a friend's wedding in 1993, we had a "shivaree" of sorts. After a lovely ceremony and "cocktail" at the church where the couple were married, those of us close to the wedding party attended a "reception," a lovely, seven-course meal at a small inn outside of Annecy, where the couple lived. 

After the meal, some reception fun, and hours of dancing, the couple finally retired to bed about 3:00. Of course, that was not the end of the festivities. Others in the wedding party had already filled the room with balloons, and not ten minutes after the couple went up, those of us left (wedding party and other close guests), ran upstairs and "invaded" their room, "showering" the couple with shaving cream and participating in a "pot de chambre" tradition.

The "pot de chambre" (chamber pot), as I recall, was actually a wine cooler filled with champagne (yellow liquid) into which were dropped various and sundry items such as a chocolate-covered peanut candy bar (like THIS), condoms (in the wrapper) as well as (read if you're not squeamish) ( an un-used tampon). The idea was to create a facsimilie of what a "chamber pot" might look like in the morning. Everyone, by the way, took a sip from this chamber pot. 

It was not necessarily an exercise I would care to repeat, but was great, great fun. 

Sadly, my friend's husband (the groom) was killed in a mountain-climbing accident in Chile last year. But the wedding and reception are moments I will never forget.


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## WILMSLOW

In Spain there is the same tradition for brides: wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue at the wedding day. Bride is who has a "best man" (usually he is her father) who gets hitch up with her.  The kind of the ceremony depends on the bride and groom like. They can to get married in a church, in a chapel, in a town hall, in a court and usually it is half and hour or an hour long. Something very typical in Spain consists in throwing rice and roses petals to the pair at the end of the event on the way out. 
We drink, eat and dance all night long and in the morning, at least in Madrid, we have a cup of chocolat with “churros” (something similar to the fritters).


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## Oche Gruso

I know that in Jewish ceremonies the groom steps on a glass right after the couple are wed.  Are there any cultures that have something like that?


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## annieoaklie

There is a list of wedding tradions on a website weddingireland dot ie 
They are mostly Irish Wedding Traditions but some of these were adopted from other countries. Some of the origins are mentioned!!


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## dek100

In 1952, on a farm in Montana USA, after dark, I heard several cars driving up and down the dirt country roads.  The occupants of the cars were yelling and banging on pots and pans.  I asked my mom what was going on.  She said that was a shivaree.  Someone is getting married.  Although I have never heard another shivaree, I have always remembered the word and what it means.  And, I can still hear those cars and the yelling and the banging on the pots and pans as though it was yesterday.  

I have seen several descriptions (not definitions) of a shivaree as it relates to the wedding.  These descriptions range from a shivaree the night before the wedding as well as a shivaree outside the bedroom window of the newly wedded couple.


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## Lavinia.dNP

In Italy we do the bachelor bash and bachelorette bash. Usually it is supposed to involve one stripper and it is supposed to be forbidden to the opposite gender, except, of course the stripper.
Nevertheless, I see more and more people who don't do it : very often they already live together, and it seems a bit like a nonsense hanging around only with people of the same gender all night long trying to have fun separately. I think that the night before their wedding they prefer having fun together! (you know what I mean)
As for the ceremony, usually it is a religious one, held in a church and preceded by a Mass.
As soon as the bride comes out of the church, she is showered with rice and after that she turns her back to the invitees and throws her bouquet to them. It is said that the girl who catches it will get married within a year.
After that, the bride and groom go to some nice place to have their pictures taken, and in the meanwhile the invitees go to the restaurant and wait endlessly (a couple of hours) for the bride and groom to come. Usually the invitees have to wait standing because the dining room opens only upon the bride's arrival, it's a luck if a little drink is served.
When finally the bride arrives the "party" can start. I don't know if we can call it a party because usually it's only about eating a lot, and very rarely there is a dance afterwards.
If the wedding took place in the morning, it will be a lunch starting quite late (not befor 2 PM) and usually at 7 PM it's over because the restaurant needs the dining room for another marriage or dinner.
If the wedding is in the afternoon, there will be a dinner starting quite late (not before 9 PM) and usually the first invitees start to leave at 1 and more ore less by 2 everything is finished (the restaurant needs to close).

During the dinner, the bride and groom cannot remain seated, because they must go and visit everybody at their tables, therefore, most of the times, they almost don't eat, or if they do, everything is cold.

After the dinner, the bride stands by the door and hands out to every invitee who leaves a small tulle bag containing an odd number of sugarcoated almonds (never a pair number) and a tiny stupid object (a silver coated flower, a tiny pill box) which will gather dust on a table at home.

In Sicily there is one more peculiar custom : the invitations must never be mailed, but brought personally to each invitee one by one (each invitee will keep you the whole afternoon talking, which means that you have to start one year in advance if you want to do them all)


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## Poetic Device

I don't know where in the U.S.A. this is going on, but I just found out on the radio this morning that there is a couple being married today in Wal-Mart! Apparently this is the 12th couple to be married in a Wal-Mart this year! The couple will be married in the flower section and then enjoy a cake that was made by the store's bakery in the staff break room. Can we say red neck? (No offense to anyone, but admit it, you have to be REALLY cheap to have your wedding at Wally World.)


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## maxiogee

Poetic Device said:
			
		

> I don't know where in the U.S.A. this is going on, but I just found out on the radio this morning that there is a couple being married today in Wal-Mart!



Well, they say that shopping is the new religion, and Wal-Mart must be its most-frequented temples.

Wedding breakfast at Hooters?


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## Bettie

I was watching on TV that a couple was married inside a pool in Peru, how much money you have to pay the Judge to do that???


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## Poetic Device

Are there any other cultures that have people elope?


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## hohodicestu

Hi,

I don't think the Chinese have a "bridal shower" or a "bachelor party"; they usually stay with their parents the day before the wedding; so their parents can give them money in a red small envelope for luck. And on the wedding day, they wear red clothes and bad words were not allowed. This is part of the Chinese traditions.


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## Poetic Device

hohodicestu said:
			
		

> Hi,
> 
> I don't think the Chinese have a "bridal shower" or a "bachelor party"; they usually stay with their parents the day before the wedding; so their parents can give them money in a red small envelope for luck. And on the wedding day, they wear red clothes and bad words were not allowed. This is part of the Chinese traditions.


 
Why red?


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## Heba

This topic is very interesting 

In Egypt, We have a ''hena night'' or lailt el hena, it is usually for the bride, her friends and her family, and it takes place the night before the wedding. What do people do on such night? they dance and sing and laugh. 

For Muslims, we have something that is called ''katb el ketab''- Well, this is a bit difficult to explain. Katb el ketab is a small religious ceremony in which the Ma'zoon (a man granted the license by the religious authorities to wed people) come to the place of that ceremony (usually the bride's house) to make them tie the knot. The Mazoon dictates the groom and the bride's father some sentences expressing the groom's wish to marry the girl and the father's acceptance. (sometimes, the bride is the one who says these sentences instead of her father if she wishes, but this is rare and it usually happens when the father is dead ..we all prefer the first case), then the Ma'zoon announce the bride and the groom husband and wife. Some people hold this ceremony a day before the wedding night, some make it even a week or a month earlier (of course the first instance is prefered).

As for christians, a religious ceremony takes place at church , it percedes the wedding party. Then they leave the church, and go to the place where the wedding party is held .

For both Muslims and christians, the wedding party usually takes place in hotels. In most of the big hotels in Egypt, there are wedding halls which are decorated and prepared especially for the occassion, with flowers, food and music. Such halls are usually very big to fit all the friends and family members of the married couple.

Before the wedding party, the groom should never ever see his bride in the wedding dress because people believe that this brings bad luck (people are a bit superstitious). At the wedding, the bride throws the boquet of flowers to single female guests, and the one who catches it is supposed to be the next to be married.

Wedding parties in Egypt start late (at 9 pm) and usually end at dawm. Usually, the couple spend the night at the hotel where the wedding party took place. The guests leave the party happy but exhausted.

The car of the couple is always decorated with flowers. It is very often to see this car accompanied by many others (cars of friends) making a noise with their horns on the way to the hotel (and it would be a compliment if you blow the horn of your car if you find yourself among them, even if you do not know them at all  ). 

The wedding cake should be taaaaaaaaall, the taller, the better. It might consist of ten levels (I do not know if this is how it is said in English, but I hope you understand what I mean).

There are many details related to the wedding night in Egypt, I hope I forgot nothing.


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## Poetic Device

Thank you for reminding me my next question, Heba.  I know in some cultures they at least used to have the couple actually tie a knot in a rope to symbolize the union.  Is this still done and if so by what cultures?


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## Chaska Ñawi

An acquaintance without discretion forwarded me an anonymous videoclip of a despedida de soltera (bachelorette's party).  Watching it was somewhat like watching a traffic accident - you didn't want to look, but couldn't quite tear your eyes away.

Three women, all in their early 20's, were having sex on the dance floor with 3 shaved and oiled and quite naked Chippendale types, while other women danced on their own.  I suspect that large quantities of alcohol, at the very least, had led up to this moment. The men were not using condoms.   Nobody seemed to mind that they were being filmed, or to worry about the film being disseminated.

I deleted the clip, but have to ask:  am I living in a bubble?  This made the worst stag party I've ever heard of look like a British garden party.  Do tell us more about bachelor/bachelorette parties where you are.


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## bb008

En Venezuela:

Se lanza el ramo de flores que es la más tradicional, (aunque algunas novias lo entregan como promesa para un santo, el mar, la madre o la abuelita)
Mucho tiempo atrás le lanzaban granos de arroz al salir de la iglesia, pero ahora es pétalos de flores, por lo general de rosas, el último casamiento al que asistí lanzaron fuegos artificiales
Se celebra antes de la boda, la despedida de soltera (o)
También se coloca la novia un "ligero" para que algún soltero lo gane, puede ser en rifa o el novio se lo quita a la novia y lo lanza
En la torta se colocaban cintas para que las solteras tomaran una cinta, quién sacaba la cinta marcada, se ganaba un "dije". Ahora lo nuevo es rifarlo, otras novias no lo hacen
Los votos nupciales son los tradicionales, hasta donde se (como nunca me he casado) repiten aquellos que la iglesia le indica (también depende de la iglesia)
La fiesta por lo general lo celebran en un club, salón de fiesta, etc. si es así por lo general finaliza de 2 a 3 de la madrugada, si es en una casa particular pueden estar hasta dos días celebrando el matrimonio (eso depende del poder adquisitivo). 
Todas las fiesta incluyendo la del matrimonio termina con la famosa "hora loca", es un set de baile que puede durar una hora o un poco más, la música mezcla muchos estilos desde una salsa hasta un flamenco, un rock pesado y un vallenato, todos los estilos musicales se oyen y se bailan, puedes hacerlo en pareja, en grupo o solo, al final la última nota es la del "Alma Llanera".


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## PABLO DE SOTO

Chaska Ñawi said:


> An acquaintance without discretion forwarded me an anonymous videoclip of a despedida de soltera (bachelorette's party). Watching it was somewhat like watching a traffic accident - you didn't want to look, but couldn't quite tear your eyes away.
> 
> Three women, all in their early 20's, were having sex on the dance floor with 3 shaved and oiled and quite naked Chippendale types, while other women danced on their own. I suspect that large quantities of alcohol, at the very least, had led up to this moment. The men were not using condoms. Nobody seemed to mind that they were being filmed, or to worry about the film being disseminated.
> 
> I deleted the clip, but have to ask: am I living in a bubble? This made the worst stag party I've ever heard of look like a British garden party. Do tell us more about bachelor/bachelorette parties where you are.


 



I don't know if everything is as "hard" as you tell us, but many despedidas de soltera in Spain have become a sex show with naked boys who persuade the bride and the other girls to have sex with any of them.
I have been told that some parties end up in real sex, at least for some of the girls.


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## mirx

Chaska Ñawi said:


> An acquaintance without discretion forwarded me an anonymous videoclip of a despedida de soltera (bachelorette's party). Watching it was somewhat like watching a traffic accident - you didn't want to look, but couldn't quite tear your eyes away.
> 
> Three women, all in their early 20's, were having sex on the dance floor with 3 shaved and oiled and quite naked Chippendale types, while other women danced on their own. I suspect that large quantities of alcohol, at the very least, had led up to this moment. The men were not using condoms. Nobody seemed to mind that they were being filmed, or to worry about the film being disseminated.
> 
> I deleted the clip, but have to ask: am I living in a bubble? This made the worst stag party I've ever heard of look like a British garden party. Do tell us more about bachelor/bachelorette parties where you are.


 

Perhaps this should be a new thread all together, because believe you me, it's gonna give something to talk about.

I am never attended a bachelor/ette party (Despedida de soltero/a in México), but I know that at least as a myth, there is this this generalized idea that the bachelor/ette will have sex that night. The party indeed is called "goodbye to singlehood" meaning is going to be the last time the to-be wife or husband can enjoy of many liberties.

As a matter of fact most of these parties are held in México with hired strippers, a few months ago a friend of mine who attented a "despedida de soltera" told me that another guest performed oral sex on the chipandale.

So...perhaps your bubble is burst now.


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