# Bisous / Je t'embrasse (lettre)



## marthasvineyard

Bonjour - I am a new peanut here, and I just wanted to thank you for your time in advance  
My question is... It seems like "kiss related phrases" like bissous and je t'embrasse are used very often as greeting.  If you are to write a letter to a friend who is the same sex, is Je t'embrasse acceptable to use?  Do men use it to their men friends too? 
I'm a beginner in French and I must learn cultural aspect of it as well 
Merci Beaucoup!


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## carolineR

bonjour martha, welcome onboard.
Bisous with one s only and je t'embrasse are indeed often used to finish off letters. Two female friends can certainly use these expressions, I wouldn't recommend them for male ones, though.


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## marthasvineyard

Merci CarolineR


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## oxd

Hello ! 

No, actually i don't think you could use those expressions between two men, you could use it if you were of the same familly ! You could use it between two women, but in french, men aren't allowed to kiss each other  (only kidding !)
To finish, I would say you could use it only if you are very close from this friend. Personnaly, i would avoid it and write something like : "à bientot" or "salut ma couille" (very humoristic and colloquial, i think you will make him smile with this expression) !
But, if you really want to use it, it's alright ! i mean, it's not a big deal if you write it ! And I should say that more and more men in France are kissing each other on the cheeks when they meet !

hope it helped !

Oxd


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## marthasvineyard

Merci Oxd  I am trying to understand how this phrase is used by comparing to English sort of sense. Ok, I am wondering, could I (female) use it to greet casually a male friend and it will be simply greeting visa versa? Does it simply state the closeness of two people in non-romantic way buy girlish way?
MV


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## oxd

Don't thank me ! that's alright ! ah ah !
Yeah you can use 'bisous' between :
male-female
                                                  female-male
                                                   female-female
Concerning, 'je t'embrasse', it's a bit more personal, and i would write it to a girl (i'm a boy) if something special happened between us...(if you see what i mean...). But again, two girls can without doubts write "je t'embrasse" between them ! so there you go :

'je t'embrasse' :
male-female / female-male (just if you're really close)
                      female-female (it's more personnal than 'bisous' though)

To be just friendly, (Male-Female) I would only say something like : "gros bisous ! a bientot"

Hope i helped ! don't hesitate to ask again if you want more details !

Oxd


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## marthasvineyard

Oh, thank you!  Je vois, I understand both translation and interpretation of the phrases now


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## Agnès E.

oxd said:
			
		

> 'je t'embrasse' :
> male-female / female-male (just if you're really close)
> female-female (it's more personnal than 'bisous' though)
> 
> To be just friendly, (Male-Female) I would only say something like : "gros bisous ! a bientot"


I don't agree with this view.

I usually say _je t'embrasse_ to male friends to whom I'm not particularly closed. It is a very common way to close a phone conversation with friends. I use it with people whom I address with the _vous_ form (I have been educated to limit the _tu_ form to very close people only).

_Bisous_ is far more personal for me: it's a bit childish, a bit teenager-looking. I would reserve it for very good friends, people who know me very well, or my family.

For instance: I would use _je t'embrasse_ with an old moustached aunt or my father-in-law (who wears no moustache), and _bisous_ with my sister.




I would avoid _ma couille_. Not sure that every man would appreciate being called a testicle.


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## marthasvineyard

I see. Wtah I undetstood so far is depending on casuality of relationship you have with others, and it seems like it will be ok for me as a female to use je t'embrasse to end a conversation as a friendly term.  
Merci!


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## pieanne

I agree with Agnès.
I use "bisous" with my children, my husband f.i. "Je t'embrasse" would be for relatives with whom I'm not particularily close, or then for a husband or a lover (special "ambiance").
I use "bises" for many people, male or female, people I'm friendly with, but not that much.


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## marthasvineyard

I am surprised to see how "kiss related phrase" is often used as greeting in French. Translation of je t'embrasse will be I kiss you, right, so that is directly used as greeting, interpretation along with learning the language is very interesting and challengin to me.  And I wanted to thank you for all your responses, I am VERY VERY happy that I found this place! I hope to be able to communicate in thie beautiful language soon 

bisous!
MV


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## Francis Nugent Dixon

We must not forget the "Je vous embrasse tous" and "Bisous à tout le monde", which (from one man to another man) would be destined to a group or a family, which would include both men and women.


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## oxd

Agnès E. said:
			
		

> I don't agree with this view.
> 
> I usually say _je t'embrasse_ to male friends to whom I'm not particularly closed. It is a very common way to close a phone conversation with friends. I use it with people whom I address with the _vous_ form (I have been educated to limit the _tu_ form to very close people only).
> 
> _Bisous_ is far more personal for me: it's a bit childish, a bit teenager-looking. I would reserve it for very good friends, people who know me very well, or my family.
> 
> For instance: I would use _je t'embrasse_ with an old moustached aunt or my father-in-law (who wears no moustache), and _bisous_ with my sister.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I would avoid _ma couille_. Not sure that every man would appreciate being called a testicle.




I would definitely not say 'je t'embrasse' to someone of my familly ! never ever ! I would keep it for people that are not in my familly but with who something special happened or people of the opposite sex you are very close with.
For me, writing 'je t'embrasse' to a girl means something "deeper" than simply 'bisous' and if a girl writes this to me as well.
 "Bisous" is far more familiar and "je t'embrasse" might sound a bit "posh" to me if I was speaking to someone of my familly (well, at least in my familly...).
For "ma couille", I can tell you that if one of my foreign friends writes this to me in a letter or email, i would definitely laugh, smile and ask him/her where he/she found this expression ! I agree with you : it's very familiar but for me it's just funny and fresh ! It has really nothing to do with the literral sence of "couille" ! And I think that every man in France with a bit of derision sense would understand ! Especially if he is your friend !

Hope I don't disturb too much !

Oxd


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## marthasvineyard

No no, I appreciate every input I get here.  No Knowledge is waste, so if anyone says ma couille, then I would know what they said, and I now know how to call testicles in French!  
I was bit surprise at first because instead of see you later, yours, or sincerely, one wrote bisous and another friend wrote je t'embrasse, and I looked up in the dictionary and did not understand why they would write "I kiss you" or kiss.  Then again, it is the cultural exchange I was looking for 

Merci always,
MV


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## oxd

Yeah, I think, we (french people) write things like that because we do a lot kiss each other on the cheeks when we meet and often when we leave ! So i guess that's why we are used to writing this kind of things !
But, I think english people do it as well ! For example at this end of an SMS, don't you often write "x" or "xxx" ? Don't they mean "kisses" ? (If i'm wrong please correct me !!)


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## marthasvineyard

Some people do, and some of my female friends will write that xoxo (kisses and love) sometimes, but most of the time when we write emails, we would write later, see ya, miss ya, rock on etc... depending on the mood we are in, but always playful.  And even with my best friend (girl) in the world, I would not or she would not say "I kiss you" or "kisses" when we hang up the phone. It may be different in England though.  Here in US around me, we do not use I kiss you or kisses much, and never really say it either.  If I say " I kiss you" to my guy friend when I hang up the phone, he would probably laugh and ask me what is wrond with me 
Though, we do kiss on cheeks when we greet but it is only with close friends and family


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## Lezert

N'oubliez pas que le sens premier "d'embrasser" n'a rien avoir avec les lèvres: il s'agit de "prendre dans ses bras", c'est peut-être moins "intime" que le "kiss" anglais... C'est peut-être pour ça qu'on embrasse plus...


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## Agnès E.

oxd said:
			
		

> For "ma couille", I can tell you that if one of my foreign friends writes this to me in a letter or email, i would definitely laugh, smile and ask him/her where he/she found this expression ! I agree with you : it's very familiar but for me it's just funny and fresh ! It has really nothing to do with the literral sence of "couille" ! And I think that every man in France with a bit of derision sense would understand ! Especially if he is your friend !


Definitely not.
It is a very specific thing, limited to a certain age and a certain cultural reference, which is not necessarily shared by the whole French population.
You can't state that easily that _every man_ in France would understand.
You may say that _some men_ would, but not that _every man_ would.

Please be careful with your assertions, as they could mislead non-francophone people.


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## oxd

To finish with this, because I don't think i will agree with you on that, I will say that you maybe right, there is unluckily no way of verifying it and maybe it's a matter of generation or culture (just how you want to call it...)
Just to let you know, i'm 22 and it might be a youngster expression so let's say that it's better not to use it and thus close this debat.
Sometimes, it is just refreshing to be funny and to end on a laugh...but you're right and I was wrong : only young people would say something like that...
anyway  it's better not to use it if you don't exactly measure what it means and if you have never been really familliar/close with your friend or if he is not that young anymore.
Sorry for not totally agreing with you Agnes E . I love learning slang and other familliar English expressions, i imagined the others were like me ! But maybe i'm wrong and shouldn't say those things with so much confidence !
Thank you for putting me back on the right track !

Oxd


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## Agnès E.

Oxd, slang is part of the language, and an important one. 

The question is not wether to use slang or not, and you have well understood it: the question is to avoid misleading the non-francophone people who need to understand how and when to use all the phrases we are giving to them. We have to explain them what to use in which context.


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## oxd

yeah, you're dead right Agnes E. ! i will think twice before saying things like that next time ! Slang is very particuliar and shouldn't be use in a lot of cases!
So, I will be more careful from now on when I will come out with slang stuff ! I promise !  
Thanks for making me aware of that !

Oxd


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## nitty

What is the difference between je T'embrasse fort and Bisous? which context do you use each?More specifically, which one is used between lovers, or are both casual enough to be used amongst friends? would a boyfriend use je t'embrasse fort or something else to express affection and love?
Merci beaucoup!


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## Micia93

Welcome Nitty 

"je t'embrasse fort" is more endearing than a mere "bisous"
you can say both between lovers, friends or members of family,though 
a lover could also say "je t'embrasse de tout mon coeur/avec tout mon amour" for instance


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## nitty

Million Merci Micia93... 

Is it possible to say with exgf (ex-girlfriend)/exbf (ex-boyfriend)? It would become more affection or still have some feeling?


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## Micia93

what do you mean by "exgf/exbf" ?


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## LART01

Hi
Many people say_ bisous _to end a conversation as _good bye
_I'm still laughing about a female colleague a mine who right before hanging up the phone on the CEO let out a distinct_ bisous
_and realizing what she just did...She'll never forget it! She just couldn't help it....
and_ bisous bisous _to all


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## nitty

Merci for Micia93 and LART01

If a man say "T'embrasse fort" to his ex-girlfriend, is it possible he still have some feeling for her?


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## Micia93

yes, that's what I would think anyway! (and I have now understood exgf/exbf!)


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## nitty

Hehe now you know the meaning of exgf/exbf.. 

Million merci again Micia93!


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## spiralb

I have a new French friend with whom I have been emailing and I am trying to sort out the meaning when he signs his notes.  He has used "bises" and most recently "bisous".  Is there a difference.  Is one more "intimate" or suggestive, or are they both just friendly ways to sign off.


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## WME

men may actually kiss each other's cheeks when they are very close. And they can indeed finish a letter with "je t'embrasse" ("bisous" il far less common though)
"bisous" is more kid's stuff than "bises"


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## spiralb

Thank you.  It's interesting.  He is in his mid-thirties and I am a woman.  Does that change the meaning?


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## WME

Hummm, can be just friendlt, can be ambiguous... You never know 
Welcome to the land of romance


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## spiralb

right, which we now is mysterious in any language.


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## frenchenglishart

I think I get bises and bisous (or bizzzz) from most friends some times. It means nothing romantic.  One might compare it to English speakers signing "love" which the French find very weird, and tend to read more into than it means.
I was just looking in my mails at those who have written "je t'embrasse". It is mostly from close friends on occasion, and sometimes from female colleagues with whom there is a very good appreciation and gentle relation, once on the occasion after a dramatic event, to mark more care, and tenderness. I think some people that use "je t'embrasse" are those who mark a gentle esteem or appreciation and also like a traditional French language.

When coming from men, who are colleagues I think it's that they like to let a bit of ambiguity be there. It doesn't mean much more than that. The French (men in particularly) tend to be flirty in a sort of relatively playful, banter-y way sometimes, and though "je t'embrasse" is not particularly playful, it floats in an ambiguous zone in the same way. It often is light and mostly never goes any further. It might be a non-explicit mark of attraction OR deep friendship or feeling of closeness, tenderness or appreciation but is not a declaration of intention.


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