# Qué tibio el viento que me llevó tu corazón



## highway32south

I'm writing a song in English that will have a chorus in Spanish.  I think I've got what I want to say correct, but was hoping I could run it by a few native spanish speakers for input.  I´m wondering if arrancaste sounds too physically violent and should be changed to robaste or something similar.  Moderators, I assure you these are my own lyrics.  Amigos, please don't hold back. 

Qué tibia el viento que
Me llevó tu amor
Arrancaste mi corazon
Sé que guardare en tu alma por
Todo el siempre
Por todo el siempre

Thanks!


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## Eugin

highway32south said:


> I'm writing a song in English that will have a chorus in Spanish.  I think I've got what I want to say correct, but was hoping I could run it by a few native spanish speakers for input.  I´m wondering if arrancaste sounds too physically violent and should be changed to robaste or something similar.  Moderators, I assure you these are my own lyrics.  Amigos, please don't hold back.
> 
> Qué tibia el viento que
> Me llevó tu amor
> Arrancaste mi corazon
> Sé que guardare en tu alma por
> Todo el siempre
> Por todo el siempre
> 
> Thanks!


Can you please write the original text in English, please? 
It`s pretty hard to understand your Spanish... sorry...


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## Kibramoa

*my two cents.  *

Qué tibi*o* el viento que​​
Me llevó tu amor
Arrancaste mi coraz*ó*n
Sé que guardare en tu alma por (are you keeping something in her soul or in your soul or are you keeping her memory in your soul)
Todo el siempre (Por siempre)
Por todo el siempre
​


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## highway32south

Well... I must´ve cobbled it up pretty good.  This is going to be a song about a man from Texas who is in love with a girl from Mexico, and she is in love with him.  Neither can understand each other's language, but he knows exactly what she means when she says...and what I'm trying to write will be what she says.  Here´s what I´m trying to say (or trying to have her say):

*How warm the wind*
*that brought me your love (or carried your love to me, whatever)*
*You uprooted (or took, or stole, or grabbed hold of) my heart*
*I know that you will keep it in your soul for*
*all of forever*
*all of forever*

So... how far off was I from what I intended to say?  This ought to be good for a chuckle!  Don't worry about hurting my feelings... I've been divorced twice...;-)


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## zazap

My try:


highway32south said:


> Qué tibio el viento que
> Me llevó tu amor
> Arrancaste mi corazón
> Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma
> Para siempre jamás
> Para siempre jamás


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## highway32south

I get it... my big mistake (I should have caught it) was to say "guardare" instead of "guardarás."  Now about the "Por todo el siempre..." since we're talking about time, wouldn't one use "por" instead of "para?"  And I know it's different saying "el siempre," but wouldn't poetic license allow it?  Just curious...  Zazap, many thanks for the suggestions!


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## highway32south

Forgot to ask... does arrancaste work, or is it too weird?


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## zazap

I like arrancaste.
As for the poetic license, it sounds barely understandable to me, but let's wait for natives' opinions.


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## Manuel G. Rey

*Que cálido el viento*
*que me trajo tu amor. *
*Robaste (arrebataste) mi corazón. 
**Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma*
*Por siempre jamás,*
*Por siempre jamás.*


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## perdita

^Estoy de acuerdo con tu traducción. Y creo que "cálido" es mejor que "tibio".


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## zazap

Nice version!  Beautiful!
Is "Para siempre jamás" wrong?


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## Manuel G. Rey

zazap said:


> Nice version! Beautiful!
> Is "Para siempre jamás" wrong?


 
Siempre he oído 'Por siempre jamás'.


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## Patagonia116

highway32south said:


> Well... I must´ve cobbled it up pretty good. This is going to be a song about a man from Texas who is in love with a girl from Mexico, and she is in love with him. Neither can understand each other's language, but he knows exactly what she means when she says...and what I'm trying to write will be what she says. Here´s what I´m trying to say (or trying to have her say):
> 
> *How warm the wind*
> *that brought me your love (or carried your love to me, whatever)*
> *You uprooted (or took, or stole, or grabbed hold of) my heart*
> *I know that you will keep it in your soul for*
> *all of forever*
> *all of forever*
> 
> So... how far off was I from what I intended to say? This ought to be good for a chuckle! Don't worry about hurting my feelings... I've been divorced twice...;-)


 
Hi!
I would say:

*Qué tibio el viento que me trajo tu amor.*
*Tu robaste mi corazón.*
*Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma por siempre..*
*por siempre.*

It is nice. My compliments.
Pat.


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## highway32south

Many, many good suggestions!  I've used a bunch.  If I get rich off this, I'll thank all of you at the Grammy Awards!!!

To make the last line work with the timing of the song, would it be OK to say,

*Por siempre y siempre jamas*?


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## highway32south

Por siempre y siempre jamas....

Come on guys... one last line... don't leave me now...


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## Patagonia116

highway32south said:


> Many, many good suggestions! I've used a bunch. If I get rich off this, I'll thank all of you at the Grammy Awards!!!
> 
> To make the last line work with the timing of the song, would it be OK to say,
> 
> *Por siempre y siempre jamas*?


 
Hallo!
I think you can finish writing:

*Por siempre, por siempre jamás.*

However, from my point of view, in Spanish it sounds a little bit old.
I mean, it is not used to say "por siempre jamás".
Anyway, if it is good for the timing of the song, you can use it.
Everybody is going to understand what you mean.

Cheers!
Patagonia.


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## highway32south

Gracias a todos.  Ojala que yo la pueda terminar.


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## loladamore

zazap said:


> Is "Para siempre jamás" wrong?


I know you can say *para siempre*, eg, _*amigos para siempre*_, but I think you have to use *por* when you add _*jamás*_. Any native-speaker confirmation of that would be greatly appreciated. 

I also prefer *cálido* to _*tibio*_. _*Cálido*_ sounds more like "warm" to me, whereas _*tibio*_ is lukewarm or can imply half-heartedness.

Saludos.


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## mariange

YEEES: *"Por siempre jamás*". Dont'you know a famous film called like this"
Muy bien la traducción de Manuel G.Rey.


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## perdita

loladamore said:


> I know you can say *para siempre*, eg, _*amigos para siempre*_, but I think you have to use *por* when you add _*jamás*_. Any native-speaker confirmation of that would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> I also prefer *cálido* to _*tibio*_. _*Cálido*_ sounds more like "warm" to me, whereas _*tibio*_ is lukewarm or can imply half-heartedness.
> 
> Saludos.



I completely agree in everything.


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## highway32south

Outstanding help.  So how about "Me llevó" instead of "Me trajó"?  "Llevó" is so much more poetic-sounding, but unfortunately, making sense should come first


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## Manuel G. Rey

It does not make too much sense. 
'Traer' is 'to bring (here)'
'Llevar' is 'to take (there)'
Furthermore, in Spanish 'trajo' (not traj*ó*) sounds as poetic as 'llevó'.


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## fiona.eire86

I would say first "sé que lo guardarás en tu alma PARA siempre" and then, "POR siempre". I would definitely go for "cálido" rather than "tibio", tibio sounds cold. At the same time I think I would say "arrancaste" so it would sound more passionate.


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## DUDOSA

Totally agree with patagonia.
You can aslo say: "Me robaste el corazón" it's the same thing but sounds better with the previous sentences.
Que cálido el viento
que me trajo tu amor. 
Me robaste el corazón. 
Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma
Por siempre,
Por siempre jamás.


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## Toralla

Que cálido el viento
Que me trajo tu amor
Robaste mi corazón,
Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma
Para siempre
para siempre

Mike is wondering were the rhyme is?


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## Manuel G. Rey

Toralla said:


> Que cálido el viento
> Que me trajo tu amor
> Robaste mi corazón,
> Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma
> Para siempre
> para siempre
> 
> Mike is wondering were the rhyme is?


 
a) Creo que 'para siempre' se queda corto para el 'all of forever' del texto inglés.
b) ¿Quien es Mike y que desea o echa de menos?¿Que la traducción tenga rima? ¡Pues no pide nada!


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## telmocho

Estoy con Manuel G.Rey y su traducción.
I like Manuel G.Rey's translation:
*Que cálido el viento*
*que me trajo tu amor. *
*Robaste mi corazón. 
**Sé que lo guardarás en tu alma*
*Por siempre jamás,*
*Por siempre jamás.*


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## highway32south

The rhyme is "amor" with "por."  I know they don't appear in the same line, but when you sing/say it, it works.  Kinda like:

"Que cálido el viento
que me trajo tu amor. 
Robaste mi corazón, sé que lo guardarás en tu alma por
Siempre jamás, por siempre jamás."

"Siempre jamás" is just too awkward to say, so I'm thinking about changing that line to "Por toda la vida."


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## fiona.eire86

It's better "Para toda la vida", in my opinion


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## perdita

Yes, if you want to say "toda la vida" you have to say "para" before...


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## Manuel G. Rey

highway32south said:


> "Siempre jamás" is just too awkward to say, so I'm thinking about changing that line to "Por toda la vida."


 
I would not dare to say that *'all of forever' *is just too awkward. But I don't think that *'por siempre jamás'* sounds awkward in Spanish. 
You may say 'eternamente' which sounds very poetic, even if in most cases is excessively optimistic .


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