# Bumper stickers



## Everness

Someone said some of our greatest literature is found on bumper stickers. Why? Because they are short, concise sentences, just like our high school teachers tried to teach us. 

What's your favorite bumper sticker? I have several ones but this one always elicits a flat-out belly laugh from me.

*Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole *


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## fenixpollo

*Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to act like one.*

*Militant Agnostic: I don't know, and you don't either.*


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## You little ripper!

I love cats, but I couldn't eat a whole one! 

(Apologies to all cat lovers)


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## Everness

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> *Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to act like one.*



I guess this is one of those bumper stickers that make you think... I think it applies to men and women... I like it!


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## Isotta

When I lived in the Bible belt, I admit I was tickled when I first saw this one.

Z.


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## Everness

Isotta said:
			
		

> When I lived in the Bible belt, I admit I was tickled when I first saw this one.
> 
> Z.



What do you think of this one?

"Make your eternal reservations now--- 'smoking' or 'non-smoking'?" 

I didn't make it up...


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## *Cowgirl*

I got most of these out of a book with all sorts of interesting things, like weird bumper stickers....


*Suburbia: *where they tear down trees and name streets after them.

Support Bacteria: it's the only culture some people have.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

My Reality Check Just Bounced

No sense in being pessimistic; it wouldn't work anyway

Forget about world peace-visualize using your turning signal

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity



_Some of these are quite rude, but pretty funny. None are meant to insult anyone. I hope you have as much fun with them as I did._


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## JazzByChas

I think one of the more interesting I have seen is thus:

"I can handle any crisis...I'm a parent"

or 

"Yes I've lost my marbles...I'm raising six kids"


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## Everness

Bumper stickers are also used for political purposes. I found a very interesting one in Spanish. 

“Los argentinos son derechos y humanos”

The military dictatorship in Argentina came up with this clever slogan on the occasion of the visit of the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights in 1979 to investigate illegal repression conducted by General Videla et al.

Vivan las Madres y Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo carajo!


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## nycphotography

*Bad Cop!  No Donut!*

Stupid is as Stupid Drives

Are you stoned or just stupid?

And my favorite from college:  

*They can send me to college, but they can't make me think*


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## GenJen54

One of my current favorites:

Get off the phone and DRIVE! 

Stickers I would love to put on my car, but wouldn't dare:

_Somewhere in Texas a Village is missing its Idiot_

_When Clinton Lied Nobody Died

If You Are Not Outraged, You're Not Paying Attention
_
A perennial favorite:_

Visualize Whirled Peas
_


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## irisheyes0583

Ok, I'm going to go for it (sorry if I offend!)!!!:

Proud to live in a blue state.
Pro-Constitution. Anti-Bush.
More Trees. Less Bush.
Dear USA, "I wish you had not voted for Bush." Love, God
Proud to be an American. Ashamed of the Administration.
Bush is a four-letter word.
Hurricane Bush. The _Real_ Disaster.
20 January 2009. The End of an Error.
My child is an honor student. My president is a moron.
United we stand. Republican we fall.
The smart 48%.
W stands for Wrong.
He's _still_ not my president.
Frodo failed. Bush has the ring.
How did our oil get under their sand?
Bush is the result of unnatural selection.
Grow your own dope. Plant a Bush.

Ok, and now for some other topics!:

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. 
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I'm not losing hair. I'm getting head. D)
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Sarcasm: Just another service I offer.
If you don't vote, don't whine.
I'm the boss! My _wife_ said I could be.
Men are idiots & I married their king.
Question authority. Ask me anything.
It's called tourist season, so why can't we shoot them?
Why women stay single: they prefer sausage to the whole pig.
"Don't make me come down there." - God

Ok, I'll stop and spare you all!


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## Everness

Today, on my way to work, I saw a sticker with the word BUSH on it. When I got closer, this is how it read:

*BU* * ll* *SH* *it*


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## Everness

For those who love to tailgate:

*NO TE PEGUES TANTO QUE ESTO NO ES UN BOLERO*


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## tmoore

I had this one on my bumper when my daughter went to the University of NortH Carolina in Chapel Hill:

MY DAUGHTER AND MY MONEY GO TO NCSU


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## santi

this one reminds me of Fast Times at Ridgemont high

ASS,GAS,OR GRASS NOONE RIDES FOR FREE


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## nycphotography

My favorite:  Stamp out Intolerance

Too bad the intended recipients are too mumble mumble to notice the sarcasm.


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## sean

saw this one the other day, i hope no one minds:

Jesus is coming!
(Look busy)


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## QUIJOTE

Jesus is coming!
(Look busy) This reminds me of something I read sometime ago:

I was driving through the city when I came to a trafic light, the car ahead of mine had this phrase on a bumper sticker: "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" so I did, the guy driving the car rolled down his window and yelled at me...can't you see the light is still red?...J*RK!


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## cuchuflete

Don't act stupid.
We have politicians for that.
​


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## Vanda

During dictatorship we had one that - silly me! -
I couldn't understand what was implied that time:

*Brasil, love it or leave it!*

Ha, now that we can 'leave it' besides ' loving it'
we can't do it.


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## luar

No robes demasiado, el gobierno no acepta competencia.


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## .   1

Everness said:


> Someone said some of our greatest literature is found on bumper stickers. Why? Because they are short, concise sentences, just like our high school teachers tried to teach us.
> 
> What's your favorite bumper sticker? I have several ones but this one always elicits a flat-out belly laugh from me.
> 
> *Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole *


Jesus loves everybody but I am his favourite.

.,,


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## rsweet

*We're making enemies faster than we can kill them.*

*Be alert. The world needs more lerts.*


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## alitza

Here's a couple I've seen around here:
(On a very small and old car): *When I grow up, I wanna be a Mercedes*.
*If you can read this, it means that you're too close.*


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## vlazlo

my friend has one that cracks me up:

i'm sorry i haven't been to church lately, i have been too busy becoming a lesbian and practicing witchcraft...

another one:

another baptist divorcee against gay marriage.

and last but not least:

buckfush!


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## badgrammar

GenJen54 said:


> Visualize Whirled Peas
> [/I]



Darnit, Gen!  You took my favorite!

Also from my college days, I think one of my bumper stickers was something like:

"*Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty."*

My one and only current bumper sticker is "*Keep Austin Weird*", so if you see that one in Paris, it's me!

And here's one from my own sister's pick-up truck (when I had to drive her truck, I covered it up with sheets of paper and scotch tape):

"*Give WAR a chance*"

Right underneath that it says (I may be paraphrasing)

"*I'd rather go hunting with Cheney than driving with Patrick*"

I don't like driving my sister's truck.


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## maxiogee

GenJen54 said:


> Visualize Whirled Peas



You wouldn't say that if you had ever met with the abomination which is the British 'delicacy' of Mushy Peas! 

I don't 'do' bumper stickers. This may have something to do with the fact that I don't have a car.


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## .   1

badgrammar said:


> "*Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty."*


This is quite a common bumper sticker down under.
I was stunned to see that it is now marked as copyright.

.,,


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## Nunty

OK, I cannot resist:

My favorite from my university days in California: _Eschew obfuscation!
_
In Israel, bumper stickers tend to be either ads for garages and car dealerships or terribly serious and political. My favorite makes fun of the latter. Translated, it says: _Death to the extremists!_


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## Chazzwozzer

"Tek rakibim THY" _(Only THY is my contender)_ is bound to be the most favorited one here in Turkey. Out of bumper stickers I've seen, my personal favorite is: "Yaklaş, yaklaş... Yakın da limuzin olacağız!" _(Get closer and closer... We'll soon turn out to be a limo!) _Of course, it's in very small letters and can only be read if you are close enough, which it refers to.


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## badgrammar

Chazzwozzer said:


> "Tek rakibim THY" _(Only THY is my contender)_ is bound to be the most favorited one here in Turkey. Out of bumper stickers I've seen, my personal favorite is: "Yakla?, yakla?... Yak?n da limuzin olaca??z!" _(Get closer and closer... We'll soon turn out to be a limo!) _Of course, it's in very small letters and can only be read if you are close enough, which it refers to.



I don't get the first one, why would "Thy" (I read what it stands for, so that part I get) be someone's only contender?


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## .   1

badgrammar said:


> I don't get the first one, why would "Thy" (I read what it stands for, so that part I get) be someone's only contender?


I would guess that this is a claim by the driver that the only driver that can drive as fast is piloting a jet plane.
I am so fast that only jet planes can compete with me.

.,,


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## Chazzwozzer

Yes, exactly. That is mostly used in sarcastic ways. Well, I saw it even on an Anadol.  

"Only F16 is my contender" is another one. Well, "Only X...." now can take anything, it cought on well in daily speech since THY bumper stickers showed up. 

Oh, and of course not to forget this one: "Only ISKI is my contender." which was sticked on a truck that was full of water bottles.  _(ISKI=Istanbul Metropolitan Water and Sewerage Company)
_


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