# Funny/embarrassing mistakes in a foreign country



## Ranchuelo

A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.

In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo".  In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom".  So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor".  That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!! 

Saludos,

Ranchuelo


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## mjscott

¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!

My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


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## Lems

mjscott said:
			
		

> ¡A mí me encantan los desnudos!
> 
> My friend was trying to say that she loved peaches (duraznos). Instead she said that she loved naked men!


I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?  

By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?  

Lems
____________________________
Too err is human. To moo, bovine.


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## Benjy

Lems said:
			
		

> I assume she said she loved "desnudos", right?
> 
> By the way, don't you guys think this thread should be moved to the Spanish/English forum?
> 
> Lems
> ____________________________
> Too err is human. To moo, bovine.



or it could be opened up to all languages


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## belén

An English and a German one:

An Argentinian acquaintance of mine had moved to LA a couple of months before this happened. His English was still not very good. He was an interior designer and was in a meeting with the bosses of an office where he was trying to sell to sell his project.  So, when talking about the closets, he tells the guys:

And in the closet, we will place a lot of hookers.

(he pretended to say "a lot of hooks")
___________
Once, in my neverending learning-German odissey, I told my German teacher if she could send me some "Pilzen" on the email. What I told her was to send me some mushrooms on the email. I wanted her to send me "Witzen" (jokes)


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## VenusEnvy

I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor." 

When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant. 

This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


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## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



omg =[ thats pretty harsh. 
i remember watching two friends who didnt really speak a word of french do a street survey on "preservatifs" who thought that it was talking about additives in food, and just went though ticking boxes at random. the look on their faces at the end when they were handed free samples based on their answers. classic.


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## zebedee

In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. 
The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:

To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.


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## walnut

When I was a student I worked for a while in a studio where the boss was an american architect. He used to talk about his family whenever possible.  Once he came in and proudly announced:

"Mia figlia danza sulla bara!" = "My daughter is dancing on the coffin!"

Total silence in the room. He meant she was practising ballet with exercises at the bar (barra).  

Ciao!  Walnut


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## VenusEnvy

Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.

After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).   

I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


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## Benjy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _ have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).
> 
> I used to work with a Frenchman at a restaurant. We both finished late (around 11:00pm). Before leaving, I said, "Alors la . . .  A tout á l'heure" ("See you later"). But, in the context of the time of day, it has the connotation of "See you later . . . ::wink, wink::"


lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?


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## VenusEnvy

Benjy said:
			
		

> lol.. is your special linguistic power giving men the wrong impression or something?



It's a linguistic conspiracy I tell ya!


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## gotitadeleche

A friend of mine from Colombia was invited to Thanksgiving dinner shortly after moving to the US. He was told to bring his family and be at the hosts' house by 11:00. Well, my friend knew enough English to know that dinner was the *evening * meal, and although he thought 11:00 p.m. seemed late, well, who knows what kind of strange customs these Americans have. So, he showed up with his family at 11:00 p.m. Of course, he caught the hosts in their pajamas getting ready for bed!!! Fortunately, they were very understanding people, so they invited him and his family in, pulled out the leftovers and had a late Thanksgiving meal!!


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## onetwothreegood

So it really just turned out to be eating the next days lunch for a midnight meal. that'd be a hard choice... midnight meals are nice... but theres nothing better than day old left overs!


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## Cath.S.

I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. 

Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride. 

As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went:
"je suis fou!"  (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).

Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! 

It still makes me laugh to tears.


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## El Hondureño

I remember when one of my best friends came from Brazil to the US and just started learning English he would say this:
Teacher:What's your name
Friend: Blah 
Teacher: Do you have a question for anyone?
Friend: Yes, professor why are you so high?
I guess he meant tall lol


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## Lancel0t

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .




I'm sorry Nicole, but I didn't get this one. Would you like to tell me the meaning of that sentence in English? Thanks in advance.


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## VenusEnvy

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .



"Déme más de detrás" means "Give me more from behind"    
Pardon this lady, everyone . . .


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## Badcell

Several years ago I went to London with a friend who doesn't speak a word of English; he only knows the typical words used in songs and the such (I'm sorry, I love you, forever and ever...). One day my friend and I took the Underground and it was so full of people that my friend step on the foot of someone who was standing behind him. He turned around to find himself looking at the navel of a really big, dangerous-looking guy with tatoos in both his arms. My friend looked up at the face of this guy, who was looking down at him, and summoning his poor English skills said: "I love you"


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## gotitadeleche

To tell on myself, several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).


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## VenusEnvy

Got: LOL, cute, I have done that, too

I've also meant to tell someone that I was embarassed, but it came out, "Estoy embarazada" (pregnant!).


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## Benjy

well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago

benjy: c clair
benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
benjy: ll gare
benjy: la gare
benjy: lol
benjy: le gars
benjy: ok
someone.else: hahaha

names have been changed to protect the innocent


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## jrod

We were teaching a group of 1st and 2nd graders about fire safety. My brother f.f. told the kids that the large diameter hose on the fire truck was used to extinguish large "borrega" fires instead of "bodega". The kids looked at him with puzzled faces. I later told him that he told the kids that it was used to extinguish "sheep".


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## Badcell

In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"


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## Kendoshin

Benjy said:
			
		

> well.. i guess even when you think that you have learnt a foreign language you can still make mistakes.. this happened just a few minutes ago
> 
> benjy: c clair
> benjy: il me rappelle d'une femme que j'ai vue une fois dans le gars de chambery
> benjy: ll gare
> benjy: la gare
> benjy: lol
> benjy: le gars
> benjy: ok
> someone.else: hahaha
> 
> names have been changed to protect the innocent


Sorry Benjy, but i didn't get this one.


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## Benjy

well.. i wanted to say "he reminds me of a woman who i saw once in the chambéry train station"

but in stead i wrote "he reminds of a woman that i saw once in the guy from chambéry "

un gars = a guy
une gare = a train station.

not side splitting stuff but it made me laugh at my own ineptitude


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## Neru

~PiCHi~ said:
			
		

> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is too good!!!
> aaah what a good laugh!!
> HAHAHA!!


It gave me a good laugh too.  
I think I might try the "I love you" approach next time I find myself in a difficult situation.


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## Kendoshin

Thanks for the translation, Benjy, now I got it.


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## cristóbal

Badcell said:
			
		

> In Spain we call the snacks we have before the courses of a meal "entremeses". Once I wanted to say to a friend of mine that I had really enjoyed the "entremeses" we had had at dinner the night before, but I mixed the "entre" part of the word (which I translated to "inter") with the idea that it came before the courses and I end up saying to him: "I really enjoyed the intercourse last night!"



Oh dear, that's just beautiful... it brings tears to my eyes. ;-)


When I first arrived in Madrid I went to a certain shipping store to mail some stuff to the States and filling out the form, when I arrived at the blank where it requested the phone number of the recipient I paused (because I didn't know the number)... the woman behind the counter told me the number was "indispensable"... She looked at me for a moment and then said, "¿Sabes lo que quiere decir 'indispensable'? [do you know what 'indispensable' means?] and I, being the genious I am, assumed that the word "indispensable" meant that it was not able to be dispensed, and that if I wrote that in the blank, that meant I couldn't give out the phone number.  So I wrote it down and handed the sheet to her.  She laughed and looked at me and said "No, you don't know what it means."   Indispensable of course means the same thing as it does in English, indispensable...unfortunately for me, indispensable is synonymous for necessary, requisite, or imperative.   She and her coworker had a good laugh at my expense.


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## charlie2

This happened to me.
Last July I was in Paris, to be exact, a la Gare de Lyon, trying to buy a ticket to Avignon, in French, I forgot to say. Obviously my pronounciation was terrible, or was it because I was really exhausted and being sloppy. The girl at the counter told me," we don't sell plane ticket here."
"I don't want a plane ticket", I told the girl,"I want to go to Avion". I almost yelled.


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## Jeremy Sharpe

hi! I'm sure we've all had some funny experiences from time to time when using a second language, especially in pressure situations, and I'd like to hear your stories. Here's mine:

It was a few years ago and I was 14 years old and visiting France for the first time. One time I was going out alone to the store to buy some bread (bagettes, yummy), and the cashier asked me how old I was (in French), and not expecting to be talking French at that moment, I got muddled up and said "quatre-vingt" (80), instead of "Quatorze" (14). The cashier didn't seem to be bothered too much, and I didn't realize until later the mistake that I'd made. I was so embarrassed at the time, but now it just seems funny.

Share yours!


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## mirandolina

That reminds me of one of my father's blunders: we were in a camping site in France and my father was socialising with the natives. He presented my 13-year-old sister saying "C'est ma fille, elle a trente ans." (30).

My cousin was on holiday with the family in Italy, she was about 15 at the time, and was sent out to buy bread. My aunt, who spoke perfect Italian, told her to ask for "un kilo di panini". But she asked for "un kilo di pannolini". (nappies, or diapers if you speak AE).


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## Antartic

I've got a friend who is very poor in English but he likes to work and practice. Some time he could talk to a native speaker, and he tried to understand her, she was talking about a sad story, and my friend wanted to say: It's a pity, instead he said: It's a penis. Lucky for him, she had a good sense of humour.


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## cuchuflete

Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.



> *English Only* 55 Viewing)
> *For questions involving English usage.  *
> If you prefer your answer in another language, please ask in one of the above forums.


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## VenusEnvy

A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.

Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).


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## mzsweeett

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Please tell me what this thread has to do with English?  Please, this is not a chat room.
> 
> ​


Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.

Sweet T.


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## cuchuflete

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> Hmm, to me, I think that this is a thread where we are lightly discussing our attempts to speak in conversational English.  I've  had a few blunders spoken to me.  The only way to learn is to say I suppose. Are we limited to only asking a question to do with a specific event, or are we allowed to make a general topic of conversation? I would like to know so that I do not violate any rules here. I like it too much and have learned so much already. Thanks.
> 
> Sweet T.


Please note: This thread was first posted in the English only forum, and moved here to Culture.  Cuchu.


 Hello Sweet,

I asked the question after reading the first two posts, which have absolutely nothing to do with the English language. One refers to a blunder in French, and the next in Italian. There are forums for French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German...etc. This particular forum is supposed to be dedicated to discussions of English.

General topics are fine, so long as they have some connection to the mission of a particular forum.

Thanks for a good set of questions,
Cuchu


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## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> A thread like this was already started. It can be reopened by foreros adding new posts.
> 
> Here is the thread  (in the culture forum, where I think it belongs).



Thanks Venus. I'll take your advice and move this thread, with a closed copy in the English Only forum so people can note what it is for.

Cuchu


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## pinkpanter

Hi, 

I liked your blunders. I tell you about some I had:

My biggest blunder was saying to an American, "You are American to the crotch" instead of "to the core". He told me to write it down so he could use it as a poster in his room....   A very typical blunder for me has been mixing "pattern" and "partner".

And my most recent blunder was yesterday when for an unimportant thing i said "Estoy desolada". Other Spanish ones are: "puñacitos" instead of "puñetacitos" and "herbolería" instead of "herbolísteria"


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## le chat noir

A nice Russian one. Back in 1998 the number one hit in Russia was a song called "kroshka moia" (my sweetheart), and the first verse went "_kroshka moia, ia *po* tebe skutshaiu_" (my sweetheart, I am longing for you). Unfortunately, the first time I tried to quote it, I said (of course in front of half a dozen young Russian girls) : "_kroshka moia, ia *na* tebe skutshaiu_" (sweetheart, I am bored when I lie upon you). My popularity rocketted sky high in a second.


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## Like an Angel

I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


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## Phryne

One of my funniest blunders happened when I was sixteen and I was in English class back in Argentina. My teacher asked us to list synonyms of "brat". Back then, I used to learn a lot from subtitled movies (any bilingual person knows how wrong it can be to consider subtitles as accurate translations). So, in order to answer my teacher's question, I suggested “spoiled” which she liked a lot. Then, feeling lucky, I added “asshole”—pardon my French! The teacher played dumb, apparently, since she did not acknowledge my contribution. So, I repeated it out loud, “asshole”, “asshole” until a friend warned me about the impropriety.


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## Phryne

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> I think I haven't made _any_ blunder so far, but a friend of mine use to say _quickie_ isntead of _quickly_


 
My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


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## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!! So she kept asking for more _penis_ on the table, please!


 
Poor friend, that's not fair! then your habby is a spoiled brat?


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## cuchuflete

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> Poor friend, that's not fair! then your_ habby_ is a spoiled brat?



No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*


Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business.  One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer.  Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
"tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!   

Saludos,
Cuchu


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## Phryne

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> No, Angelic one, that's *hobby*



Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*  




> Sometime around 1977, I was working in Buenos Aires, and had frequent contact with some interesting types in the financial services business. One day the conversation turned to the ways that they wanted to exert leverage with my employer. Having learned Spanish in Cantabria, I used the term,
> "tener enchufe" and watched them turn bright red!
> 
> Saludos,
> Cuchu


 
As long as you don't say the C.. word! 

My parents went on a trip to Spain a long time ago and they had to ask for directions in a rural area. They were told: "coja el culo del caballo y doble a la izquierda!" They're still laughing at it!   



For the non-Spanish speaking people: 

A Spanish would understand "Turn right at the horse's butt"

An Argentine would understand: "F. the horse butt and turn right"



I apologize for the language, but the story is quite funny!


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## VenusEnvy

tener enchufe. 
 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect. 

I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .


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## Pedro79

My favorite language blunder happened when I was teaching ESL and one of my students, after seeing that something was wrong with the coffeemaker, confidently announced, "teacher...the...the dripper...has no job."

Ah, the lovely verb "to work."  Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.


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## Helicopta

Whilst holidaying in South East Asia, I'd got quite used to people saying English words and expressions to me that I'd never thought anyone outside of England would know. Minger and Lovely Jubbly being two examples.
Having been in Vietnam for a day, a few people had said to me "Come on". Thinking they had somehow learned the English way of cheering on your football team I replied with "Come on!" at the top of my voice, complete with clenched fist and pained expression, as if willing England to score the winning goal in a vital world cup match.
On meeting up with my friends the following day and telling them of the extrordinary people I'd met who knew very little English but seemed so fond of this one expression, I was told in no uncertain terms... _It means 'thank you' you tw*t!_

The bemused and slightly frightened expressions on the faces of those poor Vietnamese suddenly made perfect sense...

cám ơn (Pronounced "Cahm oon") - Vietnamese for "thank you"


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## Gabriela Beltrán

Here's another one: a friend of mine at a supermarket in Miami.  The cashier told him: Go ahead, but he understood go to hell. He at once replied, Go to hell, you!! and left the place in anger. Imagine his face when he realized he had misunderstood everything.


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## garryknight

Phryne said:
			
		

> My husband, who's American, convinced a friend of mine that _peanuts_ were called _penis_!!


There was a story going around some years ago that the wife of a French prime minister, who was attending some official engagement, was asked in English what was the one thing she most wanted. Her reply, in a very thick French accent and with the stress in the wrong place, was _'Ap*pi*ness_ - No prizes for guessing what everyone thought she had said. Mind you, I always thought the story was apocryphal.


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## cuchuflete

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> tener enchufe.
> 1. fr. coloq. Tener influencia ante una autoridad para conseguir de ella algún favor. U. t. en sent. despect.
> 
> I don't totally understand this definition. Carrying on without permission? Not being reciprocal? Ay de mi . . .



Sorry Venus, I should have explained.

Enchufar: to plug in, as with an electric plug.  Hence, in Spain, the sense is of being 'plugged in' with a power structure, thus to have influence or leverage.  The Argentines see it a bit differently, and think of being 'plugged in' in a more direct physical sense.  Clear?

I apologize for any confusion I may have caused.

C.


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## suzzzenn

lets see, I went into a Spanish chat room using a nick I thought was a slang word for "girl" and was told after a few sessions that my nick, zipote, meant penis! The very nice Spanish women in the chat room said they thought I meant to go into an adult room instead.  

When my husband met up with his firends, they would ask him how he was doing and he would say, Jodido pero contento, contento pero no jodido. Everybody always cracked up. So I decided to try it one day. My new mother-in-law asked me how I was and I used his phrase, jodida pero contenta, contenta pero no jodida! Let's just say, she didn't crack up. I think that and the fact that I didn't iron my husband's clothes for him started us off on the wrong track. 

Susan


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## Like an Angel

Phryne said:
			
		

> [/color]Are you sure? I think it's *hubby*


 
Oh yes, the word was *hubby *not *habby*, sorry... una patinada en el lugar menos indicado eh?


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## weird

Hello,

Five years ago, the first time in my English class. (7 people)

I was the only woman in the class. I arrived at the class very late.  And I told them.

Please, all of you, squeeze me!!

I wanted to say EXCUSE. But I made a pronuctation mistake!

I was so ashamed!!  It sounded like I had wanted to be embraced for everybody.


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## mzsweeett

suzzzenn said:
			
		

> lets see, I went into a Spanish chat room using a nick I thought was a slang word for "girl" and was told after a few sessions that my nick, zipote, meant penis! The very nice Spanish women in the chat room said they thought I meant to go into an adult room instead.
> 
> When my husband met up with his firends, they would ask him how he was doing and he would say, Jodido pero contento, contento pero no jodido. Everybody always cracked up. So I decided to try it one day. My new mother-in-law asked me how I was and I used his phrase, jodida pero contenta, contenta pero no jodida! Let's just say, she didn't crack up. I think that and the fact that I didn't iron my husband's clothes for him started us off on the wrong track.
> 
> Susan


LOL, I have a similiar blunder myself...... I was working in a facility and was one of only a few english speaking people there. Almost everyone was from Mexico. One day while eating my pasta for lunch, some of my male compadres asked me, " Que pasa chica? I answered "Nada". One says to me "What you eating?" I said "Penne". I never say penne pasta, or rotini pasta, just the type that it is, figuring most know what I mean. However, apparently in Mexican Spanish penne is _penis_.  They cracked up, and smiled REAL big.  I didn't know why.  So I just smiled back. Next my Manager came in and the same words followed.....only this time He said to me " Don't say that." "Why", I asked.... his reply "You're saying that you are eating penis" (like giving oral or something).   Now I realized why my male friends smiled so much.  How awful it was!!! I was a real riot around the water cooler that day!!


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## lourai*87

Not that its really a blunder...but in French when using the verb 'pique-niquer' in class...i immediately started laughing (perhaps i am a little immature).  I am the only student who is doing a more advanced level of French...and so no-one understood. I ended up explaining the meaning of 'niquer'.  Would this ever be mis-interpreted in France?


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## Sev

A friend of mine was in Argentina, and showing a picture of two of her friends to colleagues, she said : 
"mira esta linda foto en pa*j*e*r*a" = look at this nice photograph of masturbation
instead of :
"mira esta linda foto en pa*r*e*j*a" = look at this nice photograph of a married couple

My friend told me that story, I don't speak a word of Spanish, so excuse me if there are any mistakes...


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## Sev

lourai*87 said:
			
		

> Not that its really a blunder...but in French when using the verb 'pique-niquer' in class...i immediately started laughing (perhaps i am a little immature).  I am the only student who is doing a more advanced level of French...and so no-one understood. I ended up explaining the meaning of 'niquer'.  Would this ever be mis-interpreted in France?


No. If you say, "je vais pique-niquer" or "le pique-nique de dimanche...", it is not mis-interpreted, and very often used.


----------



## ivanbcn

At the High School, the English Literature Teacher was checking my preparation on Macbeth, and instead of saying the three witches, I said "those three b***hes"; my teacher pretended she hadn`t heard but I could see her eyes full of rage (maybe she thought I did it on purpose); unluckly my classmates didn`t get my mistakes (they were sleeping, I supposed), so actually nothing happened and nobdy laughed


----------



## mirandolina

I believe that is one of the reasons why the Mitsubishi Pajero does not sell well in South America..... !




			
				Sev said:
			
		

> A friend of mine was in Argentina, and showing a picture of two of her friends to colleagues, she said :
> "mira esta linda foto en pa*j*e*r*a" = look at this nice photograph of masturbation
> instead of :
> "mira esta linda foto en pa*r*e*j*a" = look at this nice photograph of a married couple
> 
> My friend told me that story, I don't speak a word of Spanish, so excuse me if there are any mistakes...


----------



## gliamo

mirandolina said:
			
		

> I believe that is one of the reasons why the Mitsubishi Pajero does not sell well in South America..... !


They actually renamed it to Montero in Spain and South America. See:

http://chameleon-translations.com/Index-Companies-pajero.shtml

G.


----------



## irisheyes0583

1) So when I was 16, I was studying in Costa Rica for a summer. I was dating a CR guy and was very excited to meet his friends. When we went to meet them, we were talking and they asked me how I was feeling about the trip, CR, meeting them, etc. I was tongue-tied and nervous, so the first thing out of my mouth was “¡Estoy muy exitada!” because I wanted to tell them how excited I was to be there, meeting them. Let’s suffice it to say, they stared at me, open-mouthed for a few minutes before we got the misunderstanding cleared up! Hehehe… 

*Original phrase*: I’m very excited!
*What I said*: ¡Estoy muy exitada!
*What it means*: I’m very horny!
*Correct way to say it*: ¡Estoy bien emocionada!

2) I was talking to my friend yesterday, telling him how much I like his language… I said, “Me encanta tu lengua” (ok, in my defense, “lengua” _does_ mean “language”!), to which he replied, “I’m so glad you like my tongue, but we haven’t French-kissed yet!” Oops! 

*Original phrase*: I love your language.
*What I said*: Me encanta tu lengua.
*What it means*: I love your tongue.
*Correct way to say it*: Me encanta tu idioma.


----------



## Carlston

Hi Irisheyes, nosotros en españa pedimos fuego para encender un cigarro, asi que imaginate la traduccion literaria que hice una vez en Inglaterra, jejeje

afortunadamente deje de fumar, jejeje

saludos


----------



## natasha2000

VenusEnvy said:
			
		

> I worked in a restaurant for several years. One day, I asked the cook for more bread, "Deme más pan, por favor." He told me that what I was saying was wrong! I wanted to speak Spanish correctly, so I asked him how to say, "Give me more bread, please." He told me to say this: "Déme más de detrás, por favor."
> 
> When the restaurant got busy, I screamed this through the building, "Déme más de detrás!! ¡Oye! Dije, Déme más de detrás!" After receiving weird looks from the cooks, and a couple of ::winks::, I asked him what it really meant.
> 
> This has NOTHING to do with bread . . .


 
Something similar happened to one of my colleagues (Spanish guy), when he went to USA on business. They were having a business dinner, and as the waiters were keeping on serving and offering food, he wanted to say that he had enough and could not eat any more, but he didn't know how to say it, so he asked a business partner (imagine!!!), who was American. The guy wanted to make a joke and said: "I am farting!". Imagine the faces of the others, when my colleague said: "No, thanks, I am farting!" 
And also when he was told, after some time, the real meaning of what he had said..................


----------



## natasha2000

For a long time I kept saying "Ya me empaño yo" when I wanted to say "I'll manage by myself" until one day a Spanish friend told me" What on Earth are you saying?" 

The correct word is *apañarse*, not *empañarse*. Empañarse means to steam, so I guess I was saying to people "Ok, never mind. I'll steam myself." not understanding the wierd looks they were giving me...


----------



## santi

this happened to me when I first got to this country and my spanish was terrible, the people from Cartagena are called cartageneros, and in my native town of Barranquilla the people are called barranquilleros, so when I went to visit a friend in a place called Caldas I told my buddy¨oye brode voy a comprar ese sombrero para parecerme a un caldero¨ofcourse I meant to blend in w/ the crowd and my friend asked me why the sudden urge to look like a cooking pot before he laughed his head off and told me that people from Caldas are called ¨Caldences¨ and that caldero was a cooking pot.Isn't that special??? hahahahahaha... I laughed and still laugh at myself for that one


this is


----------



## Roi Marphille

I was an Erasmus student and we used to do what Erasmus students do; gather together, drink and party (...)There was this Danish girl, very nice, friendly and very shy. I wanted to sit in the sofa and there was a spot beside her. So I addressed to her asking: 
-* Can I sit between you*? (i/o beside you)
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the girl. She blushed and remained watching me with a surprise-face, she could utter a single word... meanwhile all others were laughing as hell in the ground and I was asking: What have I said? what? what? what?
It was so funny.


----------



## Amityville

There was a new person working where I work - he was very quiet and didn't speak much to anyone. One day he opened up and spoke to me at some length about his family. I thought I'd mention to someone else that he seemed more relaxed...I needed the French for that and a word suddenly came to me.  I remembered it from a conversation with an old lady earlier that same day describing her grandson's swimming lessons, and him having said that every week the teacher says "Déclenchez-vous", which I had guessed meant relax, unclench your muscles, that kind of thing. So I said "Marcel s'est déclenché ce matin"
I now know that se déclencher means to go off like a gun and possibly other things !
Cringe.


----------



## MarkLondres

Here in London I asked a colombian friend of mine if he would like another beer, he replied "No thanks I am already little pixie" obviously he meant "a little tipsy" but was sufficiently embarrased when i explained he had said "soy un duendecillo".

Another friend from Madrid was explaining that she doesn´t like working with the polish people "because they are shellfish"

i explained "no son mariscos, tampoco son egoistas"

M


----------



## nikvin

A friend here went into a shop and asked for un armario con cojones...
he did get served and shown what he wanted , once the salesman picked himself up off the floor!


----------



## Ratona

When I was little, my mum went to the market (in Spain) to buy some cushions, she proceede to ask the stall owner:
¿Tiene usted cojones?

A friend whilst we were on Erasmus, innocent that she was, came running in to our room one night nearly crying and very embarassed, "what´s happened?" we asked. She had been trying to let a man down gently who was interested in going out with her; thinking she had been successful and as they bid eachother good night, she thought he asked her if he could give her a hug, to which she replied "Of course!" or rather "Mais oui, bien sûr!!" and opened her arms... she certainly won´t forget the meaning of "peux-je t'embrasser?"!!

I can´t remember any of my own numerous mistakes at the moment...


----------



## GenJen54

Like Ratona, my own mistakes seem to have escaped my memory!  

However, there is one in particular which always gives me a tickle - and it occurred between people who thought they spoke the "same" language - English.

When I was studying in France I was grouped in a class with several other American students, as well as students from Great Britain. We were in the midst of a test when one of the British students spoke out: "Has anyone got a rubber?" A collective gasp, then hushed giggling could be heard from all of the American students, for no one understood why anyone might need a rubber in the middle of a test. As it turns out, in British English, rubber = eraser. In American English, rubber = condom. 

We language learners are not the only ones with this type of problem. One of the most notable examples of poor cross-cultural marketing was when the GM corporation once tried to market the Chevy Nova, a small compact car popular in the 1970s across US borders in Mexico. 

The car was an immediate flop. 

Apparently, their research team failed to recognize that while "Nova" might mean "star" in English, in Spanish, it simply means "no go."

_Edit_: After seeing NYC's post below, I concede I should have done my own research on the subject...although confess to actually having learned that while at college. Perhaps I should ask for a dollar or two back!


----------



## nycphotography

GenJen54 said:
			
		

> We language learners are not the only ones with this type of problem. One of the most notable examples of poor cross-cultural marketing was when the GM corporation once tried to market the Chevy Nova, a small compact car popular in the 1970s across US borders in Mexico.
> 
> The car was an immediate flop.
> 
> Apparently, their research team failed to recognize that while "Nova" might mean "star" in English, in Spanish, it simply means "no go."


 
Not picking in you Gen, but, ahem, after seeing this reference twice today on this forum, my snopes alarm rang in the back of my head...

and sure enough:  URBAN LEGEND (although one that predates the internet, and even fax machines, by a good decade!).

Pity too.... it's such a famous story.  Told even wayyyy back when I was still in school!


----------



## MarkLondres

nycphotography said:
			
		

> Not picking in you Gen, but, ahem, after seeing this reference twice today on this forum, my snopes alarm rang in the back of my head...
> 
> and sure enough: URBAN LEGEND (although one that predates the internet, and even fax machines, by a good decade!).
> 
> Pity too.... it's such a famous story. Told even wayyyy back when I was still in school!


 
Yes but this one is real "pajero.com"
they even have the cheek to do a spanish version of the website

M


----------



## nycphotography

GenJen54 said:
			
		

> _Edit_: After seeing NYC's post below, I concede I should have done my own research on the subject...although confess to actually having learned that while at college. Perhaps I should ask for a dollar or two back!


 
I learned it in college too.  I think we should demand a refund!!


----------



## hald

Here's one about my younger brother. In that time, he was about 3 years old and didn't speak very well yet, but he had begun to go to school. Since we were living in a spanish-speaking country, he had to learn French at home and Spanish at school, and he quite often mixed up both languages.

My mother would often moan at him because he got dirty all the time.
One afternoon he came back from school crying, and when my mother asked him what happened, she got that answer :
"Tu vas être fâchée, il y a des manches plein mon pull" (You are going to get angry, my  sweater is full of sleeves)

It took her several minutes to understand he was confusing the french word "manche" (sleeve) and the spanish word "mancha" (stain).


----------



## Vanda

A girl from Sao Paulo and her sister went to the States. Trying to have something to eat and drink, they asked for 2 cokes and heard from the waitress what sounded like "Buraquim?" They couldn't have the slightest idea of what was that about. *Buraquim* is a very popular way to say "a little hole" in colloquial Portuguese. So, they asked the waitress to repeat the question and nothing...... The waitress than said it again very slowly this time:'bottle or can?"


----------



## InmayHugo

Una amiga mía se fue a trabajar de camarera a Lyon, Francia.
Un día sirviendo dos platos, uno de pato y otro un filete, se acercó a la mesa y dijo: "c'est qui le connard?" 
(pato se dice cannard y ca--ón connard)
Uno de los comensales le contestó:
" Le connard c'est moi, mais le cannard c'est pour mon collègue"
(el cab--n soy yo, pero el pato es para mi amigo)


----------



## natasha2000

Some fifteen years ago, I was in South of Spain, in Malaga. We used to go out to Torremolinos to a discoteque where there were some guys dancing in some sort of cage. While my friends and I were looking at one of them (he was gorgeous, I admit!!!), a barmen who wanted to practice English, said: This guy is very sexysfull! This word sounded to me very strange, so I asked him what did he mean. He answered, Tiene éxito ese chico... Then I realized what he wanted to say was This guy is very successful! I told him how to say it correctly, but he kept repeating as he had said for the first time looking at me as if he didn´t know what I was talking about... "Yes, that's what I told. SEXYSFULL!"


----------



## Brioche

GenJen54 said:
			
		

> Like Ratona, my own mistakes seem to have escaped my memory!
> 
> 
> When I was studying in France I was grouped in a class with several other American students, as well as students from Great Britain. We were in the midst of a test when one of the British students spoke out: "Has anyone got a rubber?" A collective gasp, then hushed giggling could be heard from all of the American students, for no one understood why anyone might need a rubber in the middle of a test. As it turns out, in British English, rubber = eraser. In American English, rubber = condom.


A young Canadian teacher had just started at an Australian high school, and the girls in Year 9 were asking her about life in Canada.

Of the the question was: "What sports were you interested in, Miss?"
She replied "I used to root for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders."

The girls nearly died laughing. In Australia and New Zealand "to root" means to have sexual intercourse.


----------



## badgrammar

Lot's of good ones here!  

I have said far too many stupid things to remember, in my native tongue as well as French, German, Spanish, Turkish...

But this story is about a French friend who came to visit the states.  She went to the movies and wanted to buy two cokes at the concession stand. 

She walks up to the counter and orders, but it comes out: "Two cocks with no ice please"...

Hehehehehehehe...


----------



## JazzByChas

Well, Ratona, I'm guessing that he meant, "May I kiss you?"

Now, I do remember a particularly embarassing situation myself.  My wifes boss in from Lyon, France.  He and his wife came over for dinner one night.  The following ensued:

I wanted to say to his wife,  "A pleasure to see you again."
What I said: "Un plaisir de vous faire autre fois!"
What it meant: "A pleasure to do you again!"

I believe I wasn't thinking very carefully at that point!  Needless to say, I had to do some quick backpeddling! 



			
				Ratona said:
			
		

> A friend whilst we were on Erasmus, innocent that she was, came running in to our room one night nearly crying and very embarassed, "what´s happened?" we asked. She had been trying to let a man down gently who was interested in going out with her; thinking she had been successful and as they bid eachother good night, she thought he asked her if he could give her a hug, to which she replied "Of course!" or rather "Mais oui, bien sûr!!" and opened her arms... she certainly won´t forget the meaning of "peux-je t'embrasser?"!!
> 
> I can´t remember any of my own numerous mistakes at the moment...


----------



## Alunarada

Has anyone here ever said "crap" instead "crab" when talking about food? I did..


PS: Una broma de muy mal gusto en mi opinión la que te gastaron Venus Envy.


----------



## InmayHugo

In a youth hostel in London I asked to the receptionist to give some 'shits for my bed' , instead of sheets!!!


----------



## geve

*one in Spanish...*
From 16 to 20 years old, I went on holidays on the Spanish coast, staying with some friends. At that time, I had never taken any lessons of Spanish, and started to learn "on the field", with my friends. 
I had been on a couple of dates with a Spanish boy, when he asked me where I wanted to go. My answer was : "Como te quiero"

Yes, I told this boy I hardly knew "How I love you" ! 
Of course, I meant "como tu quieres" / "as you like"...   

*...and one in French*
I teach French to foreigners as a volunteer. The students had to write the description of a profession and then the class was to guess what profession it was. 
One of them wrote : "Il coupe des chevaux" (he cuts horses)

Turns out she wasn't thinking about a clumsy veterinary or some kind of suspicious butcher... but about a hairdresser
(chevaux = horses, cheveux = hair)


----------



## meili

I remember a friend counting me this story.

Her officemates, knowing that she speaks Spanish, asked her what 'Welcome' is in Spanish.  My friend, being busy as she was with something else just replied 'De nada' without thinking twice.

The next thing she knows, two of her officemates were already greeting some Spanish clients and exclaiming 'De nada, de nada'.

That was when she realized they meant 'Bienvenidos!' all along.


----------



## Fidelia

InmayHugo said:
			
		

> In a youth hostel in London I asked to the receptionist to give some 'shits for my bed' , instead of sheets!!!


 
I couple of years ago an Italian professor told us soemthing similar to this.  She was teaching a class about "la spiaggia" which in Italian, means "the beach" and she was pronouncing it incorrectly in English, until people in the class told her.  She was a really cool prof. and laughed about it when she told us.


----------



## alahay

How many times do you intend to say something but your tongue slips and you end up say something else? I enjoy collecting those kinds of errors cause most of them make so much sense and polyglots are vulnerable to mixing between languages. I'd like to profit from this thread to exchange some real examples:
_
Yesterday at the French Conversation Club "La Table Francaise" an attendant was describing how expensive were the prices in france and he said "les prix etaient tres *dear*" (dear=cher also but isn't appropriate for prices) What's funny is that he didn't say "expensive" or else we would have understood right away! (I cited this example first cause it is the main reason behind this thread)_

_I myslef tend to replace "*but*" with its arabic equivalent "bass" due to their phonetic and lexical resonance.

I once pronounced “*vittima*” (vicitm in italian) as vi__tt*ì*ma when Iwas saying "vittima del male di vivere" and that was triggered by the dominance of my familiarity with the French expression “Le Mal de Vivre” creating the victime-vittima hybrid pronunciation.

_Thanks for sharing..._
_


----------



## Don Zauker

A friend of mine reported this story from a trip to Ireland.

He could speak a not so bad English but when he went into a restaurant and the waiter asked for what he wished he said:
"May I have a bloody steack?" (you know, rare = "al sangue" = bloody)
The best thing was that the waiter replied:
"Do you like also some fu###ng chips with it?"


----------



## Papalote

Bonjour, tout l´monde, Hola, todos

Cuando vivía yo en México tenia un novio francés, de Córcega, quien insistía hablar en español todo el tiempo. Un domingo, mi tía nos invitó a comer para que el resto de la familia conociera a JoJo. ¡Esto era una gran ocasión! Llegué yo primero y estuve esperando nerviosamente la llegada de JoJo. Pasó el tiempo y él no llegaba. Mi tía se preguntaba en voz alta el por que no llegaba. De pront, ahí estaba JoJo, sin aliento, despeinado, muy sonriente, dándole la mano a mi tía. _Pero, JoJo, ¿qué te pasó? ¿Por qué llegas tan tarde?_ Le preguntó ella. Ay, señora, discúlpeme por llegar tan tarde, ¡pero es que una señora me acostó en la calle! (en lugar de me detuvo JoJo utilizó une ¨equivalente¨de m´accosté en francés) ¡No les cuento las carcajadas y las bromas que surgieron a todo lo largo de esa comida interminable!
  

English Translation
Hi, y’all

When I was living in Mexico City, I had a boyfriend from Corsica who insisted on always speaking Spanish. One Sunday, my aunt invited both of us for lunch, which was a big family affair, since all my relatives wanted to meet JoJo. I arrived first and waited nervously for his arrival, but for the longest time there was no sign of him. The more time went by the more my aunt kept on wondering out loud what could have happened to him. Suddenly there he was, out of breath, windblown hair, happily shaking my aunt’s hand. _Pero, JoJo, ¿qué te pasó? __¿Por qué llegas tan tarde?_, asked my aunt (JoJo, what happened? Why are you so late?) Ay, señora, discúlpeme por llegar tan tarde, ¡pero es que una señora me acostó en la calle! (Oh, please excuse my tardiness, but I was layed in the street by a woman!) (instead of accosté, in French, accosted in English) He meant to say, I was approached by a woman in the street. Needles, to say, the jibing and laughter lasted throughout that interminable meal!


----------



## alahay

Italiano:
Tre anni fa, ho chiamato il centro culturale italiano per chiedere se sia possibile prendere qualche libro in prestito ma non sapevo come dire "prendere in prestito". Prima di chiamare ho cercato nel dizionario e (non so come) ho trovato una parola - forse era "scavare" - che non c'entra con "prendere in prestito" ...Non ci siamo capiti e alla fine mi sono messo a gridare al telefono: "POSSO SCAVARE UN LIBRO, fammi parlare con qualcuno che capisce l'italiano".  

Mi capito' un colpo di scena a Firenze quando ordinai una pizza e  dopo averla ricevuta chiesi al barista di togliermela invece di tagliarmela (non sapendo la differenza tra togliere e tagliare) e lui mi guardo' con occhi pieni di sorpresa 



English:
Three years ago, I called the Italian cultural center to ask if I can borrow some books. I didn't know the italian equivalent for "borrow" so I looked it up in some dictionary right before calling and I found a word that actually had nothing to do with borrowing - it might have been scavare which means to dig! Anyway, we couldn't understand each other and I ended up yelling on the phone "CAN I DIG A BOOK. Can I speak with someone who understands Italian" 

I once ordered a pizza in Florence and when I got it I asked the "barman" to take it away from me instead of cutting it for me. I didn't know the difference between tagliare and togliere. The "barman" was very shocked he thought I didn't want it anymore!


----------



## Isotta

This is a true story, luckily in which I had no part:

A group of high school freshmen (year 10) students from the American South were preparing for the school-sponsored trip to France for spring break. At this time bumper stickers and t-shirts saying "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" or "Kiss an artist today!" had become popular. 

So the teacher decided to make cute t-shirts for the French trip that said "Baise-moi, je parle français!" for all the students to wear. While "baiser" used to mean "to kiss," and would say as much in a French/English dictionary, it now is equivalent to the "f" word in English. Luckily, before the trip, she called the French teacher at my school to verify it. My French teacher died laughing. Shirt production was halted.

Still, can you imagine these little American students walking around Paris with these obscene shirts on?

Z.


----------



## Gareth

Ahh, who doesn't have a few of these amusing stories to break the ice at parties?

German:
I'll start with an embarrassing translation on my part- but bear in mind that I was about 13 at the time!  I translated the German "fünfzehn Prozent Rabatt" (15% off, or 15% rebate) as "fifteen frozen rabbits.  No idea why.

Then a friend attempted to describe his bedroom as dingy, and ended up saying "Mein Zimmer ist sehr Gummiboot".  Yes, he'd looked up "dinghy" by mistake.

I've heard the one about "Ich spiele Cricket mit einer Fledermaus" several times, but I'm pretty sure it's an urban legend.

French:
Someone might have to confirm these, but they are apparently true.

"suçon" (Canadian dialect- not just Québec but the Manétoba region as well apparently) = sweet
"suçon" (Hexagone-style) = a hicky, love-bite
Therefore when a Canadian friend offered a group of us- when we were round his apartment for the evening- some "suçons", our slightly embarrassed / amused reactions was probably reasonable.

Perhaps true (comments would be welcome):
A Belgian girl told me that "une chope" in Belgium indicates a beer, so if you ask someone if they'd like one you're inviting them out for a drink.
Apparently in France "une chope" indicates what we Anglophones would call a "quicky", or as we affectionately say in Britain a "swift shagging".  So when she offered a French friend "une chope" she was effectively offering something else entirely.

Any French-speakers here who could clear this one up?  Or is it a load of nonsense?


----------



## geve

Isotta said:
			
		

> Still, can you imagine these little American students walking around Paris with these obscene shirts on?


oh, it would have been so cute !!   



			
				Gareth said:
			
		

> Apparently in France "une chope" indicates what we Anglophones would call a "quicky", or as we affectionately say in Britain a "swift shagging". So when she offered a French friend "une chope" she was effectively offering something else entirely


"Une chope" is indeed (in France too) the big glass with a handle that can be used for beer. 
But there is also the verb "choper" which in slang means "to catch", and more specifically, to catch someone with a sexual connotation... Still, I'm pretty sure a Frenchman (with a still low alcohol level) would understand he was offered a beer...unless he was expecting something else (he might then _choose_ to misunderstand)


----------



## marie132

japanese ppl dont make a difference between L and R, which they pronounce like a weak spanish R. Therefore, they often take one for the other while spelling words.
now imagine what it can look like when they wanna spell "Presidential Election" (drop the L and put an R instead) XD

they also cant make a different between V and B
so if they speak french and say "allez, vite!" (come on, hurry up!) they might end up saying "allez, bite!" (come on, [slang word for penis]!) 

lol XD

and if english speakers might sound "muy embarazados" when hearing that, then they would sound pregnant! (embarazada = pregnant - incomodo/a = embarrassed)

lol


----------



## Anna Più

Well, a friend of mine wanted to ask for a lemon juice in Holland, and he saids to the waiter: _Hello, I am lemon Juice..._ 
_Really!  pleased to meet you!_ said the waiter.

And another one, this one about my experience learning Italian. At class I heard a lots of times the word *"Addiritura".* For several days I had been thinking it was another subject of Italian programs studies, like "architettura" or "letteratura"... since the day I discovered that the real meaning of the word is, more o less, "really!" 
Very useful discovery, of course!
A+


----------



## la reine victoria

My worst gaffe was when I was staying in a French hotel in Normandy.  At dinner the attentive waiter asked me if I would like another serving of food, to which I replied, 'Merci, je suis pleine' (no thank you, I'm full).  This caused great hilarity amongst my fellow diners and the waiter pointed out that the term 'pleine' was used for animals who were pregnant.  I should have said 'Merci, j'ai assez mange.'

In Spain, I was studying a menu in a restaurant window and saw that they were serving 'Fine Grass Omelettes' - their translation of Omelettes aux Fines Herbes.

Oh, the joys of travelling abroad!


----------



## Hakro

Two elderly Swedish ladies came to a hotel in London. When they were checking in they also wanted to hire a safe, which in Swedish is _fack_ (pronounced exactly like f*** in English). The ladies spoke English but they had never heard the f-word. So they asked the receptionist, a young man, "Can we have a f**** right now? How much do you want for a f****?" The young receptionist blushed, coudn't answer anything and went away. "What's wrong with him?", the ladies asked. Another Swede explained them the meaning of this word, and now it was the ladies' turn to blush...


----------



## tonch

Argh.. i have so many.. most recently though, I had to do a speech for French. I was talking about the big problem of Canetoads in north-eastern Australia (Queensland). Anyway, I got nervous and instead of saying "crapaud" (toad) I kept saying "chapeau" (hat). Obviously everytime I said "chapeau" half the class laughed at me. Especially since I was saying thing like how these hats were brought in to eat insects and multiplied out of control.

Whoops!


----------



## Etain

I've had a very good time reading all your posts. Really, I've been laughing alone!  Some of them are just incredible!! 

In my case, when I was 16 I had an english teacher and I asked him to explain me funny stories about him learning spanish. He was from the states. Well, he told me that he went to the shop to buy pears. 
So he went to the man and said: 

Hola, quiero un kilo de pe*rr*as.

(Perras means bit**es)

I'm sure I did (and still do) lots of those things but I can't remember anything right now...


----------



## agromusica

I have a german story.

Wen I came to Germany I saw everywhere inside public buildings, buses, subways, etc. the word "*Notausgang*". After a few german lessons I learned that "Ausgang" means exit. But what the hell was this little prefix "not"??

I started to figure out. 

At the beginning I had a mixture of english and german in my mind (and I still do) And came to the conclusion that "not" should be something like the english word that express negation. that means that All this together should be something like *"do not exit", *or in my spanish speaking logic, "*no salida*", was it the entrance?.

I was very surprised when I went to the cinema and at the end of the movie I saw everybody going through the doors with the sign "Notausgang" = no salida = do not exit!!!!!!!!!! 

"The germans are crazy" I though.

I think that My teacher and the class are still laughing.....

(Notausgang= emergency exit)

(Please correct my english)


----------



## Godfather

Maybe you know the wazzup commercial from Budweiser. It goes like this: "Hey, wazzup?" "Nothing, just watching a game, having a Bud!". Back then I thought Bud was something like a slang word for bottle. I never really thought about it. So one day I wanted to act like someone who knows colloquial speech and said: "Nuttin, just watching the game, having a butt!"


----------



## frequency

I still remember when I took an English test (paper) which includes English conversation section.
That conversation was between a couple cooking something and talking each other.
Man asks woman like this,
Don't you think it (meal they're cooking) is too salty?
I had to choice an answer that woman is most likely to say to man after that from 4 alternatives.
Two of them were:
1. Let's add more tomato sauce.
2. Why do you always complain so much?

I still believe 2 is not false in a sense.


----------



## starlet

I have enjoyed this topic, it made me feel so much better about my own language mistakes. Allthough I can't remember any specific examples, but there have been plenty.

Our exchange assistant meant to refer to someone as a "rooster" in a conversation with one of my friends, but actually refered to them as a c**k.


----------



## Like an Angel

tonch said:
			
		

> Anyway, I got nervous and instead of saying "crapaud" (toad) I kept saying "chapeau" (hat).


 
This year I was doing my french exam, I was talking about a story about a burglar that wears a "chapeau" (hat), I was really nervous, so while I was speaking I said "the man that wear a chateau (castle)", my teacher said "what?" and I repeat "une chateau" then I realize and said "I meant a _chapeau_, sorry" and I blushed


----------



## Hakro

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> This year I was doing my french exam, I was talking about a story about a burglar that wears a "chapeau" (hat), I was really nervous, so while I was speaking I said "the man that wear a chateau (castle)", my teacher said "what?" and I repeat "une chateau" then I realize and said "I meant a _chapeau_, sorry" and I blushed


 That reminds me of a friend of mine who went in Paris to Printemps department store to buy a black hat, chapeau noir. At the information desk he asked:
"J'ai besoin d'un capote noir, où peut-on en trouver?"
The woman of the information was very confused and asked:
"Est-ce que ça doit absolument être noir...?"
"Oui, absolument, je vais rendre visite à la veuve d'un ami décédé récemment!"
"Aaaah, oui, maintenant je comprends bien..."
After all, there were no black condoms to buy at Printemps.


----------



## linksman

Using the dictionary can cause more trouble than it's worth.
It led one friend of mine to translate a recipe from French which included such tasks as
axing onions in strings

(French hâcher = chop)
(French string = thong)


----------



## linksman

Just read discussion on "little people" and remembered a nice grammar
blooper.
A very well educated, rational and extremely serious French lady explained carefully in English that the restaurant she used to frequent was no longer
her preferred eating becase the last time she went she saw little people there.  
Thinking if the film "the Sixth Sense" and the scene when the boy says,"I see . . . dead people", you can imagine how difficult it was not to busrst out laughing;
I explained that "little people" or more correctly "the little peole" were fantasy creatures - pixies, elves etc. I thought she would realize her grammar mistake and correct to "few people" .Instead she insisted that she had seen the little people. I finally let it go thinking that she may afterall have been bonkers.
Now I realize she was right and she was using the expression in the sense
of the common people, the poor, you and me taxpayers etc.
Funny?


----------



## throughout

Once I said recamaration


----------



## morgoth2604

Nice little story my grandfather told me:

This is after WWII, an elderly Jewish man is at the train station, believing he could communicate with the german ticket-officer near by, he told him in yiddish:

Man: "Ich will eine Fahrkarte...kein Berlin... kaufen". - I'd like a train ticket not to berlin please.
Officer: "Ja gut dann, wohin willst du fahren?" - Ok, fine, where do you want to go?
Man: "Kein Berlin!!" - Not to berlin!!
Officer: "Ja, aber WOHIN doch willst du fahren!!" - "Yes yes, but where do you want to go then!"
Man: " Gah, bloeder deutscher! eyn imglik iz far im veynik"! - "Pah, stupid german! one misfortune is too few for him!"

Only later was it explained to this fellow that "kein" in german means no, and that "kein" means "nach" only in yiddish!!


----------



## Black_Mamba

I don't know whether anyone is aware of the difference between ich bin and ich habe, but ich bin is I am, and ich habe, I have. Well, one day in my German lesson, we're going round learning food,and my teacher asks me to say I have a ham sandwich. Ham sandwich=Schinken brot.
So I only go and say Ich bin einen Schinken brot. Doh.


----------



## nichec

Hello to all:
Okay, I was really young. We came visiting US, and that night we stayed in a motel ( the whole family ) There were four of us, and they only offered one soap in the room, so I went to the receptionist and asked ( Why me? I was the youngest and I was so nervous ): Can I have one more soup please? ( Oh, honey, we don't serve food here. This is a motel )

Next day, we were looking for a room in a building and just couldn't find it. So I had this map in my little hand and approached this nice-looking gentleman and said: Sir, do you know where xxx is? They told me it's in the restroom ( basement ) " Are you sure it's in the restroom? Who told you that? " " Yes yes, I'm sure "

Oh please forgive her God. She doesn't know what she's saying


----------



## JPVillanueva

Mi segundo dia en inglaterra empece a trabajar en un restaurante italiano como camarero, mi nivel de ingles era completamente nulo, los numero, hola, adios y las frases que me habian enseñado para hablar con los clientes. Bueno, pues habia una mesa de 8 personas que estaban celebrando un cumpleaños, me acerque a la mesa, habian terminado y empece a recoger los platos sucios, entonces pregunte si querian postre, y la señorita que hacia los años me dijo algo, algo que no entendi, y yo pense oh, a lo mejor todabia les falta el segundo plato, entonces me incline hacia la señorita y le dije: THE TWO??? ( no sabia como se decia segundo plato) eso acompañado de mi acento, pero ese no fue el problema, sino que la pregunta fue acompañada de el gesto que yo habia usado toda la vida para indicar el numero dos ( luego me entere de que en inglaterra eso tiene otro significado) Entonces la cara de la señorita cambio de repente se quedo con la boca abierta sin hablar, pues como no hablaba yo me fui a buscar un compañero para que fuera a ver lo que queria, La señorita me dijo que era su cumpleaños y que habia traido una tarta que si se la podia sacar, y yo le conteste eso.


----------



## gisele73

Este thread es muy divertido  .

Hace unos años, una amiga se fue de vacaciones a Brasil y cuando regresó a Lima, me contó algo que le pasó.

Dice que estando en Brasil, probó un pan relleno de queso (un pan pequeño) y como le gustó mucho, todos los días iba a la panadería a comprar el dichoso pan. 

Bueno, "pan de queso" en portugués se dice *"pão de queijo"* , pero ella en vez de decir eso, pedía *"pau de queijo",* y notó que todos se reían, pero no decían nada...es que de verdad es fácil para nosotros los hispanohablantes confundir la pronunciación de "pão" y "pau", creo que pronunciaríamos ambos como "pau" si no hablamos portugués.

Y la cosa es que "pau" significa palo, pero también se le dice así al pene...o sea que mi amiga se la pasaba pidiendo "pene de queso"....jejejeje...ella no entendía por qué siempre que pedía eso los de la panadería se reían, hasta que se le ocurrió preguntárselo a alguien y le dijeron el por qué 

Saludos 

P.D. No estoy segura si las palabras en portugues están bien escritas...


----------



## natasha2000

JPVillanueva said:
			
		

> Mi segundo dia en inglaterra empece a trabajar en un restaurante italiano como camarero, mi nivel de ingles era completamente nulo, los numero, hola, adios y las frases que me habian enseñado para hablar con los clientes. Bueno, pues habia una mesa de 8 personas que estaban celebrando un cumpleaños, me acerque a la mesa, habian terminado y empece a recoger los platos sucios, entonces pregunte si querian postre, y la señorita que hacia los años me dijo algo, algo que no entendi, y yo pense oh, a lo mejor todabia les falta el segundo plato, entonces me incline hacia la señorita y le dije: THE TWO??? ( no sabia como se decia segundo plato) eso acompañado de mi acento, pero ese no fue el problema, sino que la pregunta fue acompañada de el gesto que yo habia usado toda la vida para indicar el numero dos ( luego me entere de que en inglaterra eso tiene otro significado) Entonces la cara de la señorita cambio de repente se quedo con la boca abierta sin hablar, pues como no hablaba yo me fui a buscar un compañero para que fuera a ver lo que queria, La señorita me dijo que era su cumpleaños y que habia traido una tarta que si se la podia sacar, y yo le conteste eso.


 
Villanueva, ¿qué significa el gesto ese a los ingleses? Lo siento, pero no lo sé así que no entiendo tu cuento...


----------



## JPVillanueva

Bueno puel el gesto es levantando los dedos indice y corazon, indicando dos, en Inglaterra por lo que tengo entendido, si me equivoco me gustaria que alguien me explicase el significado de este geste, es como cuando le levantamos el dedo corazon a alguien. espero haberme explicado bien.


----------



## jinti

A Chinese friend of mine, newly arrived in the US, wanted to buy contact lenses. So she went to an optician's and asked, "Do you have contacts?" The man stared at her and said, "No, we don't sell those here." She was surprised and said, "But I really need them. Don't you have some?" The man just looked at her oddly and repeated that they didn't have any there. Oh, well-- on to the next shop. They didn't have any there either, nor at the next couple places she tried. Even worse, several of the people she asked laughed at her, and she couldn't understand why. 

When she finally gave up and went back to her apartment, she looked up the word she'd been using in her question. It turned out she hadn't been asking for _contacts_ at all -- she'd been asking for _condoms_!


----------



## jinti

I was in a department store in Japan one time, wandering around, and I passed the area where they sold wedding gowns -- you know, the _Bridal Saloon_.

I had a giggle imagining the tipsy brides-to-be....


----------



## Black_Mamba

Why is there so many condom stories hanging around? I told some of my fellow workers in France last year when I was doing work experience that I was really hot. Oops.


----------



## Mama Rosa

Story #1

Husband and I walking through a village in Switzerland, notice a box saying something like : Brot fur tiere.  (bread for animals)

Later on, I found myself with some bread, I said let's look for one of those boxes, my husband found one, but it said: kot.   He urged me to put my bread in there.  But I figured out it was for dog feces not bread.
(I don't trust my husband anymore)

Story #2

I said in Spanish: No trendre frio, porque tengo mangueras largas.
                        I will not be cold, because I have long hoses.
What I meant: No trendre frio, porque tengo mangas largas.
                     I will not be cold, because I have long sleeves.



Story #3

A shipmate (Filipino- Bisaya) of mine and I were sunbathing.
He asks me: Rose, what are those vines on your legs?
I said: Well, Kiddy, those are varicose vines. (hee hee)

He confused vines with veins, so I thought they do look like vines, so I called them varicose vines, instead of veins.


----------



## blancalaw

*MOD EDIT: * This post has been merged into this thread from a new thread started by blancalaw. Edits were made to the post to make it more relevant to this particular thread.

One time a pastor from Argentina went to introduce his wife but only knew a few words in English. Pointing to his wife, he says to another pastor "This is my wolf".

Another pastor from South Africa was riding in a car with a sister from my church. As they were driving down the road they saw someone they knew and the Pastor wanted to sound the horn of the car. He turns to the lady driving and says "Mam, is it ok if I touch your hooter?"  which in South Africa means "sound the horn" but in the USA it means to touch her breast.  What a mistake he had to clear up!

Another common translation errors are:
I'm embarrased (estoy avergonzada) -> Estoy embarazada (I'm pregnate)
I'm hot (tengo calor) -> Estoy caliente (I am sexually aroused)


----------



## jacinta

I get to chuckle a lot reading my students' attempts at Spanish.  They like to use the dictionary to pick words to use.  I had a good laugh with a colleague with this one a boy wrote:  

Cuando yo era niño, me gustaba coger gallos.

We let that one go by...

Another student wrote this:  Me gusta colgar hacia afuera.
She wanted to say:  *I like to hang out *but she is actually saying she likes to hang (herself) outside.


----------



## perrodelmal

Cuando estudiaba la universidad, un día estábamos un grupo de compañeros platicando sobre películas que habíamos visto recientemente. Por alguna razón sin importancia todos mencionaban las películas en su nombre original en inglés y un compañero, para no quedar como ignorante según él, nos pregunta a todos:
 "¿Ya vieron la película de 'Big Hopes'?" pero nadie parecía saber a qué película se refería...
Después de poner cara de molestia nos dice "esa que le pusieron en español 'Grandes esperanzas'..." mientras todos soltamos la carcajada.

La película a la que se referería era, obviamente, "Great Expectations".
Nunca he entendido por qué (¿o quién diablos?) cambian los títulos en México, por lo que he visto, en España son siempre traducciones muy literales o fieles al original.

Pero eso ya es tema de otro thread.


----------



## Aina_CD

Here's one more:
Years ago, I went to Ireland on holidays with my parents, who by the way, had no idea of English at all. We were staying in a B&B, and in the morning, the owner comes and asks what would we want for breakfast. I decided to let my parents talk, so my mum looks at her all self-confident and says:
-I'm not a sausage
(meaning I don't want sausages) I couldn't belive it!!


----------



## lampiao

There are many portuguese emigrants in several countries. It is very common for emigrants to forget about their native language after several years abroad.
This story happened with one who lived in France.
When she retired, she returned to Portugal, and one day she went to the bank to check her account. So she said to the clerk something like this:
"Olhe, já estou na retrete e quero saber os meus chifres"

retrete (loo) in pt sounds like french retraite (retirement)
chifre (horn) in pt sounds like french chiffre (number, figure)

She meant to say "Look, I'm retired and I want to know my figures [the bank ballance]"
Instead she said "Look, I'm in the loo and I want to know my horns"


----------



## Chaska Ñawi

blancalaw said:
			
		

> *MOD EDIT: *
> 
> I'm embarrased (estoy avergonzada) -> Estoy embarazada (I'm pregnate)




I'm assuming you meant _pregnant _here.


----------



## Stefanie1976

Hi,

here are some funny stories of mine... I grew up in a city with British military bases. On their fences it said "Caution, guard dogs on patrol"... for the longest time I was wondering why they put fuel (petrol) into their dogs ;-)
In English class I insisted that after dinner you have desert (instead of dessert)...
After I moved to the US and visited San Franscisco on my first day, I turned to my now husband on the street and said rather loudly "Oh my god, I need to light a fag!" not knowing that Americans do not use this word for cigarettes... 
Listening to a radio show, the hosts were talking to several men over the phone and asked them "How many times do you think your girl friends petted their kittens last month?" My first thought was "How do they know they all have young cats at home?" Replies were "Maybe once", "Three times."  etc... My next thought "That is so cruel!!! If you have little kittens at home you can't only pet them once a month!!!" About 10 minutes later it finally clicked and I nearly got into an accident laughing about myself...


----------



## JB

OK, when I was in Mexico, I lost my comb _*(peine)*.  _I lived in a small town (San José del Cabo, Baja. Calif. Sur).  I went to the _mercado público, _(public market), to one of the _puestos _(stalls), and asked the 13 year-old girl working there (who knew me from regular visits to buy produce), _¿Tiene pene_)  Actually, my pronunciation was mid-way between peine and pene, but since I didn't clearly hit the _ei_ diphthong, it sounded to them (she and her friends) like the latter.  
In other words, rather than ask "Do you have a comb" what came out was "Do you have a penis?" which in Mexico in 1985 for a teenager was very funny.  She tried to hide a laugh, while her playmates broke up.  I quickly added _para peinar_ (for combing) miming combing my hair, and asked them to please excuse my gringo accent.  No one was offended, but I'll never make that mistake again.


----------



## *chica-espanglesa*

when writing a spanish essay for school when i frist started learning spanish, i wrote : 'mi familia estamos ingles', missing out all the accents wherever they were meant to go because i wanst too sure where they went and thought it would be safer to just leave them out completely. my spanish teacher had a good laugh when she pointed out that 'inglès' (English) without the accent meant 'groins' .......:s


----------



## Cracker Jack

I know of a Dutch individual. We arrived in Spain almost simultaneously. We ordered food in a restaurant. He told the waitress in a matter-of-factly way: 

T: _A mi, me encanta la polla. Ponme un bocadillo de polla._

The waitress couldn't suppress giggling. She clarified.

W: _Señor, ¿quiere un bocadillo de pollo?_
T: (Still undiscerning) Sí, un bocadillo de _polla._

Obviously, T noted something funny in the way the waitress reacted. I told her _Dejame explicarle. _When the waitress left, I told T that what he meant was pollo and the polla means cock or dick. T couldn't help it, he turned red as a beet.


----------



## Ilmo

I found a Chilean penfriend seven years ago. I had asked him to correct my Spanish, but he refused flatly - and later I found out that actually he lacked the ability.  However twice during these years he has departed of this "principle", and the first one happened rather soon.
I wanted to send my regards to his wife Cata. O.K., "regards", that is "saludos", and in my mother tongue we are used to send "warm regards". What's warm in Spanish? Of course, there is the "warm water faucet" - "grifo de agua caliente".
And thus, in perfect Spanish:

*"Un abrazo a ti, Oscar, y saludos calientes a Cata."*


----------



## Papalote

One of my cousins from Mexico travelled to Paris for the first time when he was 19-years old. He thought he spoke French because he knew a few words of English (go figure! ). One day he ordered _des frites_, which he knew were French fries. The frites arrived without ketchup. (I know, I know, mortal sin in France  ) Now, in Mexico at the time ketchup was written Catsup and pronounced like cat soup in English or quat' soupes in French. So you can imagine his surprise when, after having told the waiter ``_moi vouloir catsup`_, the waiter replied: _``Quatre soupes, monsieur`._ _Oui, oui, catsup_, replies he, patting himself on the back for his quick progress in the language of Molière. Next thing he knows, he sees the waiter placing four bowls of soup in front of him. 

His next try at mastering ordering food was at the end of another memorable meal when, having drunk too much wine and still being thirsty, he longed for a glass of water. So, naturally he calls the waiter and asks for, you guessed it, _moi vouloir un glass_. So the waiter brought him a vanilla ice-cream dish. He told me it was the best vanilla ice-cream he ever had but too small to quench his thirst.


----------



## Mayagirl

I'll tell one on myself.  I've just started learning French and kept having trouble with the pronunciation of the word "cheveux" (hair). For a few weeks I wondered why my french teacher kept laughing at my pronunciation. Well, she eventually told me that I had been pronouncing it "chevaux" (meaning horses) and was just sitting there laughing while I talked about the horses growing out of my head.


----------



## Pivra

InmayHugo said:
			
		

> Una amiga mía se fue a trabajar de camarera a Lyon, Francia.
> Un día sirviendo dos platos, uno de pato y otro un filete, se acercó a la mesa y dijo: "c'est qui le connard?"
> (pato se dice cannard y ca--ón connard)
> Uno de los comensales le contestó:
> " Le connard c'est moi, mais le cannard c'est pour mon collègue"
> (el cab--n soy yo, pero el pato es para mi amigo)


 
No te entiendo.... Podrías darme la traducción de la palabra connard en español o inglés 
¿qué es un ca--ón?
gracias... ^^


----------



## JB

Dear Pivra:
From the WR dictionary (French to English):
*connard:*



*connard*:

Principal Translations:connard(vulgaire (conard-e)=stupide, idiot)nmbuggerconnard(vulgaire (conard-e)=crétin)nmjackassconnard(vulgaire - salaud)nmasshole (_bastard_) _US_ Additional Translations:connard((conard-e)=stupide, idiot) _vulgar_nmdick (_prick_) _offensive_connard(vulgaire)nmass (_schmuck_) _US_connard 
(vulgaire (conard-e)=stupide, idiot)nmschmuck

"ca--ón" is "cabrón" but he was too polite to spell it out.  (If that particular vulgarity is new to you, see "connard".)

The nicest translation is:  I'm the ass; my colleague is [the one who ordered] the duck.  

C'est bien explique, Mon. *InmayHugo?*


----------



## InmayHugo

Très bien expliqué
Perfect!!
Thanks JB,
Inma


----------



## nanel

Firstly, thanks for the great laughs!

My two cents: My parents went to the US some year ago, and they came back with some funny stories:

In a restaurant my father asked for a "kidnap" instead of a "napkin" the look that the waitress gave to him, priceless.

After that they were in a Natural Park (I don't remember which one it was) and then a man came by, he had had a car accident, and was explaining to someone else what happened. My father heard something about a beer, so his guess was: "he was drunk, and that's why he had the accident". The truth was that man had hit a bear (not a beer).


----------



## jinti

nanel said:
			
		

> In a restaurant my father asked for a "kidnap" instead of a "napkin" the look the waitress gave to him, priceless.


 
On a similar note, a Spanish friend of mine always used to mix up _chicken_ and _kitchen_. It led to a lot of strange exchanges. ("Hey, where's Mike? .... In the chicken" or the famous "What's for dinner? .... Kitchen.... Not where, _what_? .... KITCHEN! .... I know, but _what_ is it? .... KITCHEN, YOU *&#$^%#!!!!! Oh, I mean chicken."



			
				nanel said:
			
		

> After that they were in a Natural Park (I don't remember which one it was) and then a man came, he had have a car accident, and was explaining to someone else what happened. My father heard something about a beer, so his guess was: "he was drunk, and that's why he had the accident". The truth was that man hitted a bear (not a beer).


 
Maybe the bear had been drinking....


----------



## tvdxer

At an internet cafe, by the ultimate language genius, me:

"Que es el rato por hora para usar este cafe de internet"

"What is the _shortly after_ by hour to se this internet cafe?"


----------



## JB

Warning:  These are not belly laughs, but instrudtinal and should at least make you smile.

I was living in San José del Cabo, near the southern tip of Baja Calif., and was friends with a women working for Mexicana Airlines in marketing.  Here English was quite good, but not perfect.  One day she told me she had "won 10 pounds."  My first thought was that maybe she had won money in a British lottery.  I asked her to tell me in Spanish  "_Gané diez libras."  _(She had gained 10 lbs. weight.)   It hadn't occurred to me till that moment how closely linked are the concepts of "to gain" and "to win".

Also, this same woman drafted a speech to deliver to a group of U.S. travel agents being flown in on a trip to promote some new routes from the U.S. to Los Cabos.  The speech began _"Welcome to your new destiny."   _Well, I thought "destiny" was a bit srong.  She told me in Spanish "su nuevo destino."  I then looked up "destino" wihch, as it turns out,translates as both "destiny" and "destination".   I'll leave it to you to see the connection.


----------



## SpiceMan

I can't really think of translations, but what I always thought as hillarious is a hamburgers' brand name here in Argentina: see for yourselves (it's not my site). It has no meaning in Spanish.


----------



## Futral

In a meeting during his first few weeks of being a missionary speaking Spanish a fellow missionary was asked to say a prayer to open the meeting with local church leaders.  Well he tried valiently and got about two sentences into the prayer and attempted to say: bendícenos con más éxito al servir la gente ( bless us with success as we serve the people) but he got his languages confused and said: bendícenos con más SEX al servir la gente (mixing success and éxito).  He quickly realized what he had said but did not know how to make it better so he just ended right then and there.  I have never seen soooo many confused leaders in my entire life and those of us who spoke the two languages could not help but to laugh and laugh and laugh.  It took about a minute to settle the situation and explain what he attempted to say. Thankfully they were understanding.


----------



## geve

I just remembered one of my own mistakes since my previous post :
I have told someone here on the forum, that my avatar was "some French *heroin*"

I didn't know there were two spellings of the word in English, one for the drug, and one for the woman hero. Obviously I picked the wrong one.


----------



## ayaram7700

Ratona said:
			
		

> When I was little, my mum went to the market (in Spain) to buy some cushions, she proceede to ask the stall owner:
> ¿Tiene usted cojones?
> 
> A friend whilst we were on Erasmus, innocent that she was, came running in to our room one night nearly crying and very embarassed, "what´s happened?" we asked. She had been trying to let a man down gently who was interested in going out with her; thinking she had been successful and as they bid eachother good night, she thought he asked her if he could give her a hug, to which she replied "Of course!" or rather "Mais oui, bien sûr!!" and opened her arms... she certainly won´t forget the meaning of "peux-je t'embrasser?"!!
> 
> I can´t remember any of my own numerous mistakes at the moment...


 
 Excuse me if this is out of order, but it is really true:

This friend of mine had just come to the US from Chile and she is a cosmetologist and she went for an interview at a very prestigioos "Salon and Spa" here in Virginia, and when the owner asked her what she could do, she said "I can cut hair, I can do make up for ladies, I can do highlights, pedicures and also a wonderful blow-job (of course, meaning a blow-dry)". She says that  the owner could not stop laughing and she did not understand why until several days later, when her mother in law explained it to her, anyway they hired her and she still works there.

I am enjoying this thread a lot!!!


----------



## Joyful

I've been teaching english in Japanese high schools for a couple of years and many times have had to bite my lip to stop me from laughing in front of the class.
One classic was when the students were giving self introductions and one girl said
'on my bed there are many poos'
The other students nodded enthusiastically but I was at a total loss until I realised she was talking about Poo-san (Winnie the Pooh)!!!

One french friend once told me she could run very fast into town because she had her knickers on. I can only hope she meant sneakers!


----------



## Yuribear

Oh Gosh.... thanks for the laughs everybody.


When I was 18 I was living in Venice, Italy (not CA), and at the beginning I didn't know venetians spoke venetian dialect, I thought it was ordinary italian. so one day I was with my friends and I was teaching them how to count in Spanish, while walking backwards through the narrow streets, .... siete, ocho, nueve..... and they repeated... siete, ocho, ocho, ochooooooooo!!!!! 
(and I was lucky not to get hit by a guy with a cart full of fish!!!)  (Ocho... in venetian means "occhio"... watch out!!!)

and one of my favorites....

First day at school... one of my best friends surname (lastname) is *Brusa* (which in venetian means bruccia.... "it's burning"). A woman opens the door of the classroom and says.... "Brusa in segreteria". (meaning Brusa to the dean's office) ... and the teacher replied...."chamé i pompieri" (chiamate i pompieri....call the firemen!!!!!).


----------



## Papalote

Hi, me again!

Reading Futral’s post I was reminded of one of my students who was an American priest. He had been sent by his monastery in Oregon to spend a few years in one of his Order’s monasteries in Mexico, near the town where my aunts lived. It was my aunts who had asked me to help him with his Spanish.

He made incredibly fast progress in understanding Spanish. After just 6 months in the country, he could express himself quite well in the language except for an extremely heavy accent which followed him throughout his stay. He also had a hard time with some sounds like j’s and silent h`s.

One Sunday, my aunts asked me to accompany them to Mass as Father John was going to preach in Spanish. It was with some trepidation that I sat next to all those well-to-do parishioners in that beautiful Spanish Colonial church.

All went very smoothly, at the beginning. The sermon was about forgiving `those who trespass against us`. Father John’s sermon that day was all about being *children of God (hijos de Dios);* that God loved His children so much that He forgave all His children all their trespasses, so we, as God’s children, should forgive one another.

Father John was a very eloquent man who had the gift of the story-teller. He could’ve convinced all those present that we could accomplish miracles if we had a little faith, if only he hadn’t been carried away by his enthusiasm and mispronounced the word hijos.

I’m sure all Mexican forer@os have guessed it. Instead of calling us *hijos* de Dios (*eehoss*, the h being silent) he kept on calling us *jijos* de Dios (God`s bastards).   

P


----------



## Cecivit

I'm really having fun!!! It's a great thread!!!

I've got one myself. Last year I went on holidays here in Argentina to another province. I met a guy from England, we dated for a few days and then we kept in touch. We e-mailed to each other and chatted on the messenger. Once, we were chatting and we were already saying goodbye. So I wanted to say 'Good luck', but instead of saying this I said 'good lick' ...  . of course i corrected my terrrrrrible mistake immediately. Anyway, he said 'good luck and a good lick!!!'   

I'm enjoying a lot!! it's wonderful!!


----------



## agromusica

A relative of mine from Monterrey, Mex went shopping to Laredo Texas. She was trying on a pair of shoes but these where a little bit small for her. Then shen asked the shop assistent: 
*"Does these shoes give the yes?"  *
A direct translation of  *"¿Dan de sí  estos zapatos?"* (a form of expressing if the shoes could get a bit looser after using them a few days)
jajajaja
Of course the dependent didn't understand a word of what she was saying.


----------



## maxiogee

agromusica said:
			
		

> A relative of mine from Monterrey, Mex went shopping to Laredo Texas. She was trying on a pair of shoes but these where a little bit small for her. Then shen asked the shop assistent:
> *"Does these shoes give the yes?"  *
> A direct translation of  *"¿Dan de sí  estos zapatos?"* (a form of expressing if the shoes could get a bit looser after using them a few days)
> jajajaja
> Of course the dependent didn't understand a word of what she was saying.



Who was the dependent?


----------



## jinti

maxiogee said:
			
		

> Who was the dependent?


 
I think Agromusica meant the store clerk (_dependiente_).


----------



## agromusica

jinti said:
			
		

> I think Agromusica meant the store clerk (_dependiente_).


 
You are right, i meant shop assistant, "dependiente" in spanish.

jajaja this post could be it self an example of translation error..........
I will not edit it

tahnk you for correcting me


----------



## Bettie

This thread is great!!!! I have had so much fun...

I used to use recipe instead of receipt


----------



## maxiogee

Bettie said:
			
		

> This thread is great!!!! I have had so much fun...
> 
> I used to use recipe instead of receipt



They mean the same thing - or at least they did originally.

A recipe is a list of things to take (as you prepare to cook something).
A receipt is a list of monies which have been taken by the person who gives you the receipt.
(And a doctor's prescription _ought_ to begin with Rx which is coded from the Latin for "take")
English is a very 'connected' language.


----------



## Bettie

maxiogee said:
			
		

> They mean the same thing - or at least they did originally.
> 
> A recipe is a list of things to take (as you prepare to cook something).
> A receipt is a list of monies which have been taken by the person who gives you the receipt.
> (And a doctor's prescription _ought_ to begin with Rx which is coded from the Latin for "take")
> English is a very 'connected' language.


 
Thank you for the explanation, I don't feel so bad now, because people used to laugh at me.


----------



## cincinnasty

My first lanuage was Russian. Both my parents are Russian. Neither of them speak much English. I went to a private school for Russians. No English was spoken, except for English class. So I started American public school when I was 15 years old. I could always remember the ending of a word, but I would guess at the first letters of the word. Sometimes, I would guess the wrong word. 

The most embrassing one was when I was trying to find the correct answers for a test the teacher just passed out, I turned to my friend and asked "may I see your breast?" She looked at me and said "what?" Finally, she explaned to me what I just said. I guess everyone has a perverted word mistake.


----------



## isabelbuitrago

Learning a language is definetely a complex process that involves several cultural aspects. However, not only among two different languages the sense of a word we use in certain contexts tends to chahge, but it also happens in the same language. For example I had the opportunity to visit Equator. Once, I was looking for a bag (In Colombia it is called bolsa) and the people who heard  me laughed at me and  a woman told me that the only bag she had was the one of her husband.


----------



## asm

A student who wanted to have a break requested this:

?LATA TENER UN FRENO? 

Can we have a brake?

Can as a verb is poder, but as a noun is lata. She got confused in her own language using brake instead of  break.

It took me awhile understand her until I realized she got the dictionary and looked for word by word.




			
				Ranchuelo said:
			
		

> A friend of a friend of mine was in Madrid learning Spanish.
> 
> In Spanish, the word "preservative" is translated "aditivo". In Spanish, the word "preservativo" is "condom". So, this girl went to a cafeteria and asked for a "zumo de naranja, sin preservativos, por favor". That means she said: an orange juice with no condoms, please!!
> 
> Saludos,
> 
> Ranchuelo


----------



## Bettie

I have a new one, from this Saturday!!! I was trying to say I have a lot of friends in the Court House, but, I didn't say the t at the end of Court, so everybody heard Whore House, it was soooooooooooo embarassing!!!!


----------



## Noedatorre

I was working as a waitress in a hotel in the South of England and, after cleaning the candelabra, my waistcoat was full of wax. So one of my colleagues told me how to clean it:
- You have to put some black paper over the waistcoat and then iron it.
Of course, after hearing such a thing, I was looking at her with a puzzled face so she insisted:
- Believe me! It works!
So I did! I put some black *PEPPER* on my waistcoat and then I ironed it!!  
They all laughed about for several days! (so did I, of course!)


----------



## Honour

In my first year of learning english at the school at the age of twelve, one of the teachers wanted the whole class to write an essay about friendship. For sure, i did it perfectly; an essay about friends and ships. 

P.S. I have no idea about how i could bring these two words in a common basis.


----------



## Jannet

At the very beggining of learning English, I used to remember the words with the beginning letters, so I made a lot of mistakes. There is one of them

I used to arrive late to English lessons at school (as mexicans do), anyway there was a British teacher who always was a little upset with me because that.  One day I arrived early but he didn't come at the school and there was another teacher in the classroom, I asked where the ENglish teacher was  and I also add   "What a pity Ben is not here, he is always spanking me!!!" (I wanted to say "scolding")  of course you can picture the face of the other teacher, and more when he asked "are you sure Jannet? and I replied  "Of course I can tell you", he was truly shocked until he moved his hand doing some mime and I realized it was another of my big mistakes.


----------



## danielfranco

I had a friend (wink, wink!) in high school who was fond of telling girls that he "wanted to try to embarrass them". When finally someone pulled him aside to explain that "embarrass" means "avergonzar" he never again used that lame and perverted pick-up line again. He continued getting slapped in the face, however.
Some guys are just pigs, I guess...
Dan F


----------



## danielfranco

Also, I had a friend (actually, the same friend from my last post) when I worked in landscaping whose knowledge of English was limited to saying:
"Hey, what's su madre with you?" (what's the matter with you?)
"Pendejelp you?" (can I help you?)
Dan F


----------



## frequency

I have ever written "flesh experience" instead of "fresh/lively experience".


----------



## steffiegomez

Our honeymoon: we were about to pay at a store, and the cashier asked my husband: cash or credit? so my husband replied: no, no ...target!! (in Mexico we say "tarjeta" (card)...so I started laughing, and the cashier said: don´t laugh, I understood him!!! I felt terrible! but had a good laugh also!


----------



## agromusica

This is a true Story:

A woman In Guadalajara, Mexico is going to receave some important visitors from the USA at her home. Als they arrived she opened the door and told them: 
*"welcome, please between, between" *

She was inviting them to enter the house!!!!! 
. She wanted to say "please come in, come in"
between in spanish= entre (preposition) 
but "entre" is as well the imperative of the verb "entrar" (entre usted)= come in!


----------



## truetheatertype

Ratona said:
			
		

> When I was little, my mum went to the market (in Spain) to buy some cushions, she proceede to ask the stall owner:
> ¿Tiene usted cojones?
> 
> A friend whilst we were on Erasmus, innocent that she was, came running in to our room one night nearly crying and very embarassed, "what´s happened?" we asked. She had been trying to let a man down gently who was interested in going out with her; thinking she had been successful and as they bid eachother good night, she thought he asked her if he could give her a hug, to which she replied "Of course!" or rather "Mais oui, bien sûr!!" and opened her arms... she certainly won´t forget the meaning of "peux-je t'embrasser?"!!
> 
> I can´t remember any of my own numerous mistakes at the moment...


Well hey, that's better than thinking that they mean the archaic meaning of "Peux-je te baiser?" and having the other person follow through with it!


----------



## heidita

I have  agood one , too.
One of my best friends is head of the Spanish Deparment at the Offical School of Languages so one day an American came and asked her

¿*Me puede decir dónde son las inseminaciones?*

Wanting to say

Where are the examinations. What he did say was

*Where can I get an insemination?*


----------



## asm

Un buen amigo (qepd) solia decir que esta anecdota la vivio un amigo suyo; incluso la completaba diciendo:

betwee, between and drink a chair

ENTRE, ENTRE Y TOME UNA SILLA




			
				agromusica said:
			
		

> This is a true Story:
> 
> A woman In Guadalajara, Mexico is going to receave some important visitors from the USA at her home. Als they arrived she opened the door and told them:
> *"welcome, please between, between" *
> 
> She was inviting them to enter the house!!!!!
> . She wanted to say "please come in, come in"
> between in spanish= entre (preposition)
> but "entre" is as well the imperative of the verb "entrar" (entre usted)= come in!


----------



## heidita

This is a slightly "naughty" mistake made by myself when I first came to Spain. I smoked then and had no idea how to ask for a light, so I used to go up to someone, mostly men, and asked them simply using the German word:

Feuer, por favor?

You will all think, where is the joke? Well the pronounciation of this word is very similar to

" folla, por favor"

that is "do you fuck, please?"

You can imagine the looks on their faces!


----------



## danalto

My friend is from Syria, he has been living in Rome since '98.
When he first came here he didn't know Italian at all.
He landed, and when they asked the reason why he came in Italy he answered "Sono qui per studiare. No *terrorismo*" [I'm here to study, no terrorism] instead of "Sono qui per studiare, no *turismo"*[I'm here to study, no *tourism*] 
An Arab who came in Italy not for terrorism?
(Oh, my God! )


----------



## G Sanchez

Many inglesparlantes have committed this error.  I said "Estoy embarasado" for "I am embarrassed."  I am a dude, and that means "I am pregnant." (for the students, try "Tengo vergüenza.")

A slightly more obscure one:  I was ordering a fish sandwich at McDonalds and the cashier was Mexican.  Eager to order in Spanish, I said, "Quisiera un sandwich de pescado con estufa."  I meant to say "con lechuga," lettuce.  "Estufa" means "stove."


----------



## Maartje

Hi, I've had quite a few emberasing ones:

My English friend and I were getting ready to go clubbing one night. I was wearing a mini-skirt, and wanted to ask her whether she thought I should wear thights (due to the cold). In stead I asked 'Do you think I should wear panties with this skirt?' (panties being the Dutch word for tights) She looked kindda puzzled, saying something like 'uh, well, I don't know, whatever you feel comfortable with' I found it a bit of a weird reply and showed her the tights, which made her understand my mistake. A miniskirt without underwear, probably not a good idea! lol

When I was talking with my Ecuadorian boyfriend about our relationship while smoking a sigaret I told him that what I needed was a 'sincero' (an honest guy). Once again, the puzzled look, as that statement kind of came out of nowhere. Untill he realized that what I really wanted was a 'cenisero': ashtray. Were still together, and he keeps bringing it up haha


----------



## Bienvenidos

Ranchuelo, ¿de cuál país esta "zumo"? Nunca lo he oído. Por lo general, digo "jugo de naranja". 

Muchas Gracias.

*Bienvenidos*


----------



## Ilmo

Bienvenidos said:
			
		

> Ranchuelo, ¿de cuál país esta "zumo"? Nunca lo he oído. Por lo general, digo "jugo de naranja".
> 
> Muchas Gracias.
> 
> *Bienvenidos*


 
Hola, Bienvenidos, mira por ejemplo en el DRAE - son sinónimos las dos palabras. Pero admito que en una tienda en un pequeño pueblo llamado Rio Negro, unos 40 Kms al sur de Osorno, Chile, no me comprendieron, cuando pregunté, dónde estuvieran los zumos. Sin embargo, yo que sí que había oído antes las dos palabras ofrecí la otra alternativa, e inmediatamente me entendieron. Un vocabulario un poco más extenso que el mínimo por cierto puede ser beneficioso.


----------



## SofiaB

son sinonimos pero zumo se usa mas en Europa y jugo mas en America.


----------



## badgrammar

Hihihi...  I have a funny one, I just remembered it, here it goes: 

Last year we were on vacation on a small gulet boat in Turkey.  As some of you may have seen on the forum, I am attempting to learn Turkish, but it is rather difficult.

Anway, the captain of the boat had a sudden, awful case of pink-eye.  He was able to get to port and went to see a doctor.  The next morning when I saw him I wanted to ask if his eyes (gözler) were feeling better.  Instead I asked him if his breasts (gögüzler) were feeling better.  I asked in front of the rest of the crew (2 young guys).  I immediately realized my mistake, just as it came out of my mouth, so I tried to cover it up by precisely enunciating "gözlerini...".  But they all heard it.  Nobody said anything, but I know I turned bright red!


----------



## Noedatorre

Tengo otra:
En el restaurante del hotel en el que trabajé (al sur de Inglaterra), cuando servíamos el pan teníamos que preguntar a la gente "White or brown?" es decir, "pan blanco o integral?". Pues te puedes creer que nadie me respondía con un simple "brown, please"???? 
NOOOOO, todos se dedicaban a darme sinónimos de "white" o de "brown" (como por ejemplo: "wholemeal, please!") que, como yo desconocía, al final les servía el que a mi me venía en gana! 
Después, cuando tenía un momento y preguntaba a alguno de mis compañeros 
"HEY! What's the meaning of "Wholemeal"??" 
"OH, it's brown bread" ...entonces entendía porqué los clientes me miraban raro...  
Hehehe, ahora sólo me acuerdo de wholemeal, pero estoy segura de que hay un montón más porque todos me los dijeron! VARIAS VECES!!!


----------



## Ralf

Once in a fancy restaurant in Daytona Beach my wife and I were given a German menu that was obviously the result of a translation program. Among other specialties they offered deep-fried onion rings as appetizers. However, the German translation read "Zwiebel läutet" which means literally 'onion rings the bell'. 

The poor waiter couldn't understand why it took us almost an hour to regain our composure and be able to order onion rings without breaking out into laughter. Unfortunately I have forgotten what they found as translation for hush puppies.

Ralf


----------



## vince

I often see in forum discussions

"Where do I become the password for this section"?

Then I know that the person is learning English from German

because "bekommen" = "to get"/"obtain" even though "kommen" = to come


----------



## ktsupastar

There was one time when I was in a French restaurant in Paris and instead of asking for the bill - 'l'addition, s'il vous plait'- I said, 'd'accord, s'il vous plait'. How embarrassing!


----------



## Josh_

Not necessarily a blunder, but kind of a cute story.

I was in Italy and after having gotten settled at a small hotel I stayed at, I asked an employee, who must have not known English that well, if they had any orange juice. After thinking about it and struggling to come up with the right word she said, "Orange juice is forever." She must have meant something like "we always have orange juice." Anyway, if I ever write a travel essay about my experiences I am going to title it ... well ... I think you can guess the title.


----------



## KateNicole

When I was growing up I never heard the expression "bien bueno/bien buena" . . . or if I did, I never payed attention to what it actually meant.  Then when we moved to Mexico when I was 15, I heard someone respond "bien buena" when someone asked "Como estas?"  Naturally, I assumed that this was just another way of saying "Very well."  
Trying to be "receptive" to new ways of saying things, I began to always answer "bien buena" when people asked me how I was doing.  If at mass the father asked me how I was, I responded "bien buena".  I also said the same thing to neighbors, strange men, and cashiers.  Finally, someone had to pull me aside and explain to me what I was saying.  This might not sound like that big of a deal, but I felt really, really humiliated when I thought about how many people I had said that to.  Keep in mind that I don't really have an accent, so they all probably thought I was a floozy rather than a confused foreigner. 


Note for those who don't speak Spanish:  "bien buena" roughly means "hot body", so when people would ask me How I was, I would respond along the lines of "Looking pretty hot." . . . but I was trying to say "I'm fine."

Ooooops.


----------



## Markus

Just the other day I was talking to a girl at work about how I was jealous of her office location in the winter because it was nice and warm. I said, "j'avais envie de toi!" and she burst out laughing. What I meant to say was "Je t'enviais" ... that is, "I was jealous of you" ... but what I actually said was "I wanted you!".


----------



## Laia

Last year I was on a trip to London with 9 friends. We wanted to go out, to go clubbing, but we didn't know where to go. So we decided to ask. The problem is that we all were very shy... so we asked our more "crazy" friend to ask... We said to her: "Tia, pregunta a ver dónde está la fiesta...". And, there, in the middle of Piccadilly Circus, she stopped a man in the street, and asked him: "Excuse me, where is the party?"... You can imagine the picture...  Well, that man laughted a lot, and said something about "Tigger tigger", but my friend didn't understand him very well...
Oh, and yes, we were told that "party" means not only "fiesta", but "orgía" too  

Feel free to correct my English...


----------



## Chaska Ñawi

Maartje, you brought back a memory I've tried to forget .....  

Some time ago we had a girl from Ecuador living with us on an exchange.  At that time I hadn't spoken Spanish for a good ten years, and it was somewhat rusty.

She was going out somewhere dressed in jeans and sandals.  As this was October and the weather was unpredictable, I asked her whether she had a pair of socks with her.  She gave me the strangest look .... whereupon I realized that I'd mixed up the words "socks" and "panties".

It makes me cringe when I think of all the mistakes I must have made over the years that I _didn't _catch.


----------



## darklady

well... the first year of my life in Italy I made some "heavy" mistakes with finnish language:
I was at the sea side and told to my mum: "Aiti, katso merta, ihana ilma"
well in Italian it's sound like: "Mum, dick look at the shit, what a nice weather" well I'll alway forget faces of the old italian ladies....
well after that I changed how to say look and sea....


----------



## parodi

I lived in Germany and was traveling with some German friends in the car. I had always told them to correct me whenever I made a mistake in German. 

I was in the back seat looking out the window at the fields pass by. I wanted to say, "The harvest will be coming soon" so I said, "Bald wird die Ente kommen." They all nodded.

About an hour later I realized that what I wanted to say was, "Bald wird die *Ernte* kommen."

What I had actually said earlier was, "Soon the duck will be coming." Now, why no one asked, "What duck?" is a question for the ages.


----------



## SouthJerz

When I was begining to learn ASL I went out of my way to use sign whenever I had the chance to.  I took a trip to Gallaudet University in DC to see a dance group perform. While I was there I met quite a few people and had some interesting conversation.  About the 10th person I was introduced to responded to my "Nice to meet you" with "you are pretty popular, yes?".  I didn't understand what she meant so she explained it for me.  The sign for the word meet is not a hard one.  However unless you keep your other fingers down it looks like a colloquial sign for a slang term for sexual intercourse.  I was not keeping my fingers down far enough.  I had told around ten people that it was nice to have sexual intercourse with them.  Turns out all the Deaf people I had been introduced to knew each other and were waiting for someone else to correct my mistake.


----------



## j0ckser

i have the facility to pick up on accents very easily, so e.g., when in athens, i have learned a few words, and, applying the accent, am quickly met with a verbal barrage as the other person is sure i am a native.  this has happened many times in many languages and cultures, so now i am most careful to hesitate when talking such that the other person realises that i am not native to that language/culture.


----------



## maxl

Here's my favorite, and a true one. It happened many years ago to a friend of mine, who later became editor of a very important newspaper. He was living in Paris for some time, and soon after his arrival he went to the BHV Department Store to buy a mattress, and here is the dialogue that took place between him (M) and the sales lady (L):
(L): Vous desirez, Monsieur?
(M): Je voudrais acheter une maitresse, s'il vous plait.
(L): Monsieur?!!
(M, gesticulating with his hands, as Semites always do): Oui, une maitresse pour coucher!


----------



## SouthJerz

Um,,,,,could someone translate that to english for the non-french speaking?


----------



## maxiogee

(L): Vous desirez, Monsieur? *"What do you want, sir?"*
(M): Je voudrais acheter une maitresse, s'il vous plait. *"I would like to buy a mistress, please."*
(L): Monsieur?!! *"Sir?!!"*
(M, gesticulating with his hands, as Semites always do): Oui, une maitresse pour coucher! *"Yes, a mistress for lying on!"*

He means, of course, a mattress (matelas, in French)


----------



## Aliocha_K

Here's one funny translation error :

After a game between the russian and french soccer teams, I went to the coach's press conference, and the translator was, so to speak, not very good.

The russian team coach said something like _"мы сумели забить гол"_, which means "we were able to score"... but this was translated into french as _"nous avons pu buter le goal"_, which means "we were able to kill the goalkeeper" 

A.K.


----------



## asearchforreason

I was in France with my family last summer and it took us about 6 days to figure out that "service compris" meant that we didn't need to leave a tip.  I think we gave each waiter an additional 15-20% on top of their normal tip...I'm sure I have other stories from our trip to France, but I can't recall any right now.


----------



## tonyray

I was in a shoe store buying a pair of dress shoes in Mexico. I took the shoes to the checkout counter and the girl who was cashiering that day asked me if I had a "peso" but she said it so fast that I thought she was asking me for a "beso" so I asked her if she really wanted a "beso" and everyone in the store just laughed like hell about it.


----------



## LaSmarjeZ

In Italy we have some chocolates called "Baci", that means "kiss".
I take some to my classemates here in Denmark, and when one friend of mine asked what it was I answered "Det er en lille kuss" (That's a little pussy), instead for "Det er en lille kys" (That's a little kiss)...

Or once I said "Jeg vil se Lille Kælling" (I want to see Bitch Little), to "Lille Kylling" (Chicken Little)

Then in the beginning I had some problems pronouncing the name of the place were I live that is called "Arnborg", everybody understood I was living in Hamborg, in Germany...
Eh eh eh

These are just the ones I can remember now!!

Eh eh eh


----------



## Josh_

LaSmarjeZ said:
			
		

> In Italy we have some chocolates called "Baci", that means "kiss".
> I take some to my classemates here in Denmark, and when one friend of mine asked what it was I answered "Det er en lille kuss" (That's a little pussy), instead for "Det er en lille kys" (That's a little kiss)...


I hope I don't get in trouble for this. That's interesting -- The first word I put the warning sign by is also the word in Arabic having the same meaning you outlined. It's interesting how two so unlike languages would have the same word like that.  I wonder what the etymology is. It couldn't be mixed up with other words, though, unless you include koosa which is the Arabic word for zuchinni.


----------



## DrSun

mzsweeett said:
			
		

> LOL, I have a similiar blunder myself...... I was working in a facility and was one of only a few english speaking people there. Almost everyone was from Mexico. One day while eating my pasta for lunch, some of my male compadres asked me, " Que pasa chica? I answered "Nada". One says to me "What you eating?" I said "Penne". I never say penne pasta, or rotini pasta, just the type that it is, figuring most know what I mean. However, apparently in Mexican Spanish penne is _penis_. They cracked up, and smiled REAL big. I didn't know why.  So I just smiled back. Next my Manager came in and the same words followed.....only this time He said to me " Don't say that." "Why", I asked.... his reply "You're saying that you are eating penis" (like giving oral or something).  Now I realized why my male friends smiled so much.  How awful it was!!! I was a real riot around the water cooler that day!!


 
Pene (as in spanish you don't do any difference between the non-existant "nn" and "n") is spanish for penis, not only in "mexican spanish"


----------



## Tao

Lol,

In german, understanding the word _geil_ as horny, which it actually means too. But informally it means something like _cool_.


----------



## Anajo

When I was 18 years old and an exchange student in France staying with a family, I made many language blunders. My first day there during the evening meal, I was offered more to eat, and I said, "No, merci, je suis plein", meaning to say, "No, thank you, I am full". They thought that I had told them that I was pregnant. Everyone became very quiet and all eyes were upon me.


----------



## CatStar

Hey all, 

One day at the butcher´s in Spain I wanted to buy meat to cook for a group of friends that night but I really wasn´t sure how much to get so I said I´d ask the butcher how much he thought I´d need for 8 people. But instead of saying _pollo_ I said _polla,_ which meant I had asked him how much penis I would need to feed 8 people!!! He burst out laughing and I had to leave the shop I was so embarrased. ...oh the shame! needless to say I never bought meat from that butchers again!

Cat


----------



## castellano

Some months ago, I was in England and said to my former boss: "Well, now in Spain I am a multi-task boy". She begann to giggle naughtily and I explained to her that I´d said that as I was doing many things at the same time....multiple tasks!

Some days after, an English friend told me what "multi-task" meant....hahah (is a word with sexual connotations I didn't Know).


In Germany, at a pub, I said to a German girl: "Entschuldigung, ich will ins Klo gehen", which means that I wanted to go into the bowl. Hahahahahah.
I got an explanation and since then I've never done that "stinky" blunder again


----------



## castellano

One day, when I started learning German, I translated "Bürgermeister" as "butcher". But "Bürgermeister" means "mayor"....and yes, I quickly understood why the sentences and the context did not seem very logical


----------



## ireney

Hmmmm I have loads of them though none is "personal". I just love to "collect" translation errors

Some I got from movies.

One of my favourite is from LOTR The two towers.
Legolas is crying as loud as he can "A scout!". It got translated as " A boy-scout!"

In another movie about the life of Napoleon he says to Josephine that he called on her the other day but he didn't find her. It got translated it as "I called you on the phone..."

Star Trek (saw that one on DVD recently actually)

Marshmallows became Mellons of the bog/marsh


----------



## GenJen54

*Mod Note:*  The two threads, "Funniest Translation Errors" and "Funniest Language Blunders," have now been merged.  Posts were automatically ordered chronologically.


----------



## macta123

I rented a house for " 2 milliard roupies "  during a Jeux de role (Role Play)
in my French classes


----------



## frenchtranslater

I remember when I was small, I translated a lot of french idioms into hebrew. In french when you want to say that you fainted, you say "tomber dans les pommes", "fall in the apples". Once at a dinner I said that I was going to faint and i said in hebrew: "I am going to fall in the apples", no one understood what i was saying. At the end I really fainted and tehn everyone understood what i said.


----------



## LaSmarjeZ

Anajo said:
			
		

> When I was 18 years old and an exchange student in France staying with a family, I made many language blunders. My first day there during the evening meal, I was offered more to eat, and I said, "No, merci, je suis plein", meaning to say, "No, thank you, I am full". They thought that I had told them that I was pregnant. Everyone became very quiet and all eyes were upon me.


 
I made something like this in danish, I said "Nej tak, jeg er fuld", that really means "No, thank you, I'm drunk"


----------



## Pivra

When I started learning Spanish I said

Me LAMO.... instead of Me llamo....
La carne de Polla instead of Pollo... ewww
When I said I'm hot...(not how like guapo.. but tengo calor) I said 
Estoy caliente
I said PUTA instead of PATO.... Mi madre cocinó una puta para la cena....0,,o


----------



## Aire_Azul

Les propongo un hilo más bien para reirnos un poco. Como aprendo castellano y que estuve unas cuantas veces en España y que, además soy muy palanchina,  sí que tuve la ocasión de decir tonterías. Por eso, les propongo contar los errores más graciosos que hicieron aprendiendo este idioma. Agradezco a los que me oyeron y que se rieron conmigo y no sólo de mí.

Bueno, tal vez no me enteré bien de todo... 

Aquí van unos de mi autoría:

_Yo:_  -  Por favor, ¿me puede pasar ud. un *cenicienta*?
_El amo del bar:_ - Bueno, espere que vuelva mi mujer y le diré de venir a verla...
Yo :  -   ¿?...  


Y otra vez en un bar ...


_Yo: -_ Un zumo de piña, por favor.
_El camarero:_ - ¿Del tiempo?
_Yo:_ - ¡Ah! Pues, hoy, no hace mucho calor, no...
_El camarero:_ - ¡! ¿?   

*Un saludo .  *​*
Josiane​*​​


----------



## Cintia&Martine

Buenas noches, bonne nuit,

Creo que hay algo así ya en el foro Cultura general y es posible que te lo cambien de sitio.
Yo hace mucho tiempo que vivo aquí pero tus anécdotas me recordaron una de bares cuando le dije al camarero
- Te quiero (en vez de quiero té)

Au revoir, hasta luego


----------



## diegodbs

_



El amo del bar: - Bueno, espere que vuelva mi mujer y le diré de venir a verla...
		
Click to expand...

_ 
_Uno más, sin darte cuenta._
_Se dice "el dueño del bar", el "amo" parece que tiene esclavos y una plantación de algodón.  _


----------



## Aire_Azul

¡Ups !
En el caso de la verdadera Cenicienta, se hubiera podido tratar de amo, no en este...
*Muchas gracias,Diegodbs.   *​ 
Siento haber leido muy mal los hilos anteriores antes de escribir éste y no haber encontrado el que me decís, Cynthia&Martine.   
Si es necesario moverlo, avísenme . 

*Y muchas gracias.*

*Abrazos.*​
*Josiane*​


----------



## Lemminkäinen

Apologies for bumping this thread, but I thought I'd add a story I heard from a parish clerk (?) this Easter. He is from England, but has lived in Norway for a couple of decades now, and we were talking about how he learned Norwegian.
One thing he found hard, especially in the beginning, was the Norwegian way of talking about time. He told me that when he'd only been employed for a couple of months or so, he was to attend a funeral which started 1330. Now, this time is _halv to_ in Norwegian (literally 'half two'), but he confused it with the English sentence _half past two_ which, of course, means 1430. The result was that he came bursting in on a well-started funeral


----------



## Bienvenidos

Just a few months ago I was tutoring a friend in Latin (Ancient Latin), at my house. I asked her, "how do you say friend?" She wasn't too sure, and all of a sudden she remembered and screamed, *AMICUS!* My whole family was shocked and ran into the room in which we were studying. *Ami cus* (pronounced the same exact way as the Latin amicus) is "dirty" slang for *this vagina* in Farsi. There's also the Latin word *inimcus* which means enemy, and that also means "this vagina" in Farsi. It's funny how the words have such different meanings! 

*Bien*


----------



## Maruja14

Aire~~Azul said:
			
		

> _El amo del bar:_ - Bueno, espere que vuelva mi mujer y le diré de venir a verla...


Desde luego, la frase del camarero es genial "le diré de venir a verla" es una frase absolutamente horrible e incorrecta, que cada vez se oye más en España. 

Podría decir: "le diré que venga a verla" o algo similar.

También se oye: "miraré de comprar una lavadora", "intentaré de ir"... Pero un "de" después de un verbo, aparte de incorrecto, es una catetada espantosa.


----------



## chintino

zebedee said:
			
		

> In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments.
> The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
> Here are some of his gems:
> 
> To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
> I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
> I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
> There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
> When are you fat? (?)
> My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
> Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
> A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
> A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
> Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
> -Are you single?
> -No, I'm double.



Zebedee - lo que escribiste me hizo completa la vida =). I haven't  laughed so hard in a long time!!!

- Chui


----------



## chintino

Here is one to ponder. When I was around 13-years-old I went to Boy Scout camp near Huntington Lake in California. It was my first year at the camp and everything was totally new to me.

One day, my whole troop was sitting by the campfire. The campfire was beginning to die down, so I, being the enthusiastic young boy-scout that I was, asked if there was anything I could do to help keep the fire going. The older scouts told me, jokingly, that what they really needed was "fifty feet of fallopian tubing."

In my mind, fallopian tubing was just the thing this fire needed to set it ablaze again. I had no concept of what fallopian tubing was at that time, and it wasn't until I arrived at the water front and screamed to the lifeguard on duty, "WE NEED FIFTY FEET OF FALLOPIAN TUBING!!  - our fire is just about out!" that I discovered that I had been betrayed.

Even after they explained to me what the fallopian tubes were, I can't say for sure I was 100% certain about them until several years later. The memories I had so diligently suppressed were destined to come back to me in my high-school basic biology class.

The lesson? It is important to know English. For anybody who is not a native English speaker, the fallopian tubes are part of the woman's reproductive system.

- Chui


----------



## Krümelmonster

My spanish prof told me a nice story, too...
A friend of her from Spain was working for a german enterprise teaching spanish. One day she was talking with her boss and he wanted to offer her a seat. There were some big cushions to sit on, which is in spanish "cojin". Knowing that the spanish suffix "-on" means "big", he told her that he had "cojones grandes" if she wanted to sit down... 
It took her a time to realize that this was not a sexual abuse...


----------



## maxiogee

The innocence behind the fallopian tubing posting reminds me of my first real April Fools' Day gag.
I was a newish altar-boy and I turned up early for the 7:00am mass. The sacristan (A genial, but surly-looking guy of about 70 who was great gas when you got to know him) told me to run over to the local shop and ask for a long wait - yes, I thought he said weight - and I duly obliged. The shop-keeper must have done this every feckin' year, for she duly obliged me with a fairly long 15-minute wait. When she finally clued me in I only just made it back to the church in time to lead the priest out to the altar. After mass my brother burst out laughing almost as soon as I came in the door - he was four years older than I and knew what the sacristan did to the new guy each year.

That, after I got over my high dudgeon, was the start of a lifelong love of the fun of the English language.


----------



## Krümelmonster

When the new Star Wars Episode ran first time in german cinemas, there was a person dressed as Yoda who talked a while about the film and then said "May the force be with you" ... the person who should translate him said "Am vierten Mai sind wir dabei!"
(obviously he understood "May the 4th be with you" ... )


----------



## LaLeyenda

I think this probably a common one but a friend said to a host family

'El solo carne que como es la polla' (sic)

So I can't imagine what they thought!


----------



## Gusso

I'm making a stage in France and I'm "producing" a lot of terrible stupidities. I guess the next one is a "trilingual" nonsense.
I'm a surgeon and I was at the operating room with another french surgeon who speaks english very well. We were waiting meanwhile the anaesthetist made the anaesthesia and all this stuffs to begin our intervention. We are usually in the habit of receiving nude people at the room, only with a sheer green coat; when the nurse undressed the patient (a female of 27 or 28 years old) my colleague noticed that the patient wasn't completely nude and she was wearing a panties with the face of "Kitty the Cat" (that Japanese cartoon character). I focused my attention in this character that mi niece adores and trying to avoid an "stupidity" in french I turned around and I simply asked to my colleague in english: -How do you call that pussy here?!  (trying to know the name of the Cat in french) pointing, obviously, to the little face of Kitty Cat but, Oh my goodness!!! I did not realize that the little face was printed on that panties!!!!  
My colleague and the other surgeons (who understand english) made a "funny" smile between the embarrasment and complicity and I was totally thunderstruck. When I literally "spit" that answer, it was really late; now I'm trying to know how I did not say simply - Comment est-ce que vous appelez ici cet petit chat?! but maybe could be the same situation since "chat" could be confused with "chatte" because my pronunciation is not the best... Oh what a mess!!! 

Saludos


----------



## Ralf

Once in the mid-seventies I had been on a visit to Moscow. During my stay there I didn't miss a 'shopping spree' in the famous, then state owned, universal store called GUM next to the red square--an impressive neo-classical building wit huge malls and galleries. Athough my Russian had been quite good then I managed to misread the numerous "не курить" sings. That is, I pronounced the Cyrillic "p" as a Latin "p" which is in reverse a "п" in Russian. Thus I read "не купить" (= don't buy), which absolutely didn't make any sense to me in a store. It took me a while to realize that the signs actually demanded "не курить" (= don't smoke).

Ralf


----------



## Bonjules

Hola,
Some years ago the great German baritone Kurt Mahl gave a Lieder recital
at Carnegie Hall, sponsored by Texaco Radio broadcasts. As an 'encore' he sang the Schubert song 'Frühlingsglaube', which is freely translated something like 'Promise of Spring'.
John Doe (not the real name), the regular Texaco host and announcer (a well known Radio personality whose German was pretty good!)said afterwards "...and as an encore Kurt Mahl sang the Schubert song ... 'Springtime Gazebo'! ( 'Laube' = 'gazebo' - kind of - in German) One letter can make a big difference.
I get a big kick (and a stab!) out of it everytime I listen to the tape.
saludos


----------



## GenJen54

I will never forget walking in Paris one day (in the pre-internet days) and coming across a billboard advertisment for a phone dating or "meeting" service. The service was similar to some of the earlier 1-900 or 1-800 numbers in the U.S.

The sponsoring company wanted to make certain the phone number was easily remembered, and as such, placed letters in the place of some numbers.

Imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw a billboard with a man and woman engaged in a very "romantic" situation with a phone number that said: xxx.xxx.CUM.  

At first it shocked me until I realized that CUM here comes from the Latin "with," does not carry the same meaning as it does in English - which is that biological product that can be the direct result of being "with" someone sexually. 

p.s. If anyone knows what the equivalent for a 1-900 (toll) number is in France, let me know. I no longer remember.


----------



## DearPrudence

A French colleague of mine wanted to say:
"It's a school that prepares students for manual works" (or something like that, excuse my English  ) but instead, as she didn't know how to say that in English, tried to guess and said:
"It's a school that prepares students for hand-jobs"


----------



## Bonjules

Yielding to apparent need we set up an improvised child care center in one of the Faculty buildings down at UCLA (yes, in la-la land)  years ago (before things got 'respectable'). I was in charge of actually taking care of the little monsters, but didn't know too well  how to deal with the cranky, fussy ones.
My English also must have left something to be desired, since the amazed
parents read on the blackboard "Take fuzzy kids home please!"
saludos


----------



## Bastoune

Well, for, me living already 4 years in the U.S. at the time of this happening, I should have no excuse, but that day in particular, I was thinking only in French (usually in the workplace, I think in English, then go home and think in French). 

I was talking on the phone to a client for whom I had helped fix something rather complicated but we were able to take care of the problem without difficulty. She thanked me and in my French-thinking head I wanted to say, "_Pas de problème, si tu as besoin de me rappeler pour quoi que ce soit, 'gêne-toi pas'_" ("gêne-toi pas" is colloquial for "ne te gêne pas" -- which is like saying, "go ahead," "feel free," etc.; "gêner" literally means "to bother" ).

But what came out of my mouth was quite the _opposite_ meaning: 

*"No problem, if you need to call me again for anything, DON'T BOTHER."

*Since we were on really close terms (which is why I would use "tu" in my head with her), she thought I was making a joke, but it just happened that I basically literally translated "gêne-toi pas" -- which gives a meaning that is NOT what I wanted to say in English!


----------



## BSmith

Not so much a blunder, but a purposeful incident.

Back in the mid 90's, I was taking two years of high school French class. Our teacher, who was _well_ past her prime teaching age, was often rude for no reason, forgetful, and was perturbed by small things such as simply opening your bookbag.

I, being curious of ALL aspects of French, bought a little book called _Merde Encore_(look it up on *******.com) which is a book of French swearing and assorted "familiar talk."

I brought it to school one day, and let the guy who sat next to me read it. He was no stranger to getting in trouble anyway, so he thought it'd be amusing to interject a few lines to the teacher, Mrs. Stone.

Mrs. Stone gets around to asking him a question, the standard stuff like asking for a phrase in French, and he responded with "va te faire foutre" which, if you don't know, is the French term for "Go F*** yourself."

He said it in a low voice, which was often the case with him. You know how a dog tilts their head when they're trying to figure out something new? That's how old Mrs. Stone kinda looked at him. Amusingly, she didn't even think he was trying to say it on purpose, she thought he was simply saying whatever he supposed to be saying incorrectly.

She says "Say that again? You didn't say it correctly."
Kid says "Va te faire foutre."
Mrs. Stone says, with a strange look, "No, no, you're getting it all wrong."

She was HEARING va te faire foutre, perhaps herself amused by it, but still THOUGHT he was trying to answer correctly.

Good times.

P.S.,

I am told she was finally FORCED to retire about 4 years ago.

*Mod Edit:  *Please do not reference online booksellers or commercial sites in your posts.


----------



## Pivra

This story isn't actually mine, but I was reading someone's blog about his trip to Thailand, in his blog we wrote that while he was watching a dance in Thailand with dancers dressing as angels he said to one of the dancers 

"Rawangdiwa" which he thought means "Becareful angel" but what he actually said was "BECAREFUL", -diwa is a very rude imperative particle which indicates a command of someone who is lower than you in status. Then that dancer turned back and gave him a smile.

The correct way of saying it is "Rawang na krab devi"


----------



## leilah

We have been going through spanish classes at work to improve everyone's language skills so we can communicate with the three spanish-speaking employees we have this summer. I know more than the others, but they've been doing a really good job of using the language and not being too shy to say things.

So the other day, the field manager saw that they had dug out the flowerbed by the greenhouse in record time... she was really happy and she said "Mas rapido!". They gave her a bit of an odd look and went back to it. Fifteen minutes later, she came to me and asked... "If you want to say 'very fast', how do you say that?" I said "Muy rapido?" "Oh... does 'mas' mean 'more'?" 

I'm proud to say that she went over and apologized (we tend to be a shy bunch), and told them what she meant to say. =) We could hear them laughing all the way on the other side of the greenhouse, and they told her not to worry about it.

I'm guessing I'll have more of these as the summer goes on. =)


----------



## Piku

This happened a while ago. My girlfriend has started Spanish recently and she was telling me the new words she learned today: atún, papas, frío, refrigenreder...refrigenreder??? Seems she mixed up refrigerador and my last name, Hergenreder!!!


----------



## x_Sarah_x

These are too funny.

I was in France in March, one night my friends and I were invited to dinner at a french womans house, as we were leaving I turned to hear and said "merci, beau cul" (thanks, nice ass) instead of "merci beaucoup" (thanks alot). Thankfully she saw the funny side. 

On the same trip we were in a french school talking to their english class. They were given questions in french to translate into english to ask us, one boy came over to me and said "I am going on holiday with my cat and my god...." (he meant to say dog) As far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong, god (not sure about the spelling) is french for vibrator...I burst out laughing and he turned bright red. 

In the same way all the french guys we spoke to laughed a lot whenever we said "oh my god!"


----------



## Trina

Recently I was reminded of two embarrassing moments that occurred to me while attempting to speak a foreign language. 

One happened in Rome when I was ordering gelati for a group of people who either could not speak Italian or were afraid to make mistakes (and naturally everyone wanted three flavours each!). Although the flavours were not labelled, I knew the names of most of them and was doing quite well until I went to order my own. Instead of ordering "noce di cocco (coconut), cioccolato (chocolate) & pistacchio (a nut) ", I ordered "noce di cocco, cioccolato & prosciutto (ham)" . Fortunately for me, they had run out... 
My other embarrassing moment occurred in the fabulous  markets in Florence, when I decided to buy 100 grams of olives. I remembered "etto" as being a small measurement in Italian and so proceeded to purchase 100 etti of olives. 
1 etto = 100 grams = 0.1 kilo = approx 0.22 lbs

I thought it might be interesting to hear other embarrassing and/or funny mistakes made by people either learning languages or cultural  mistakes made when visiting a foreign country.

Remember... the only people who don't make mistakes are people who don't do anything!


----------



## TimeHP

A friend of mine went to Spain and asked for 'burro' which is the Italian word for 'butter'. But In Spain 'burro' it's 'donkey'....


----------



## xarruc

When I first worked in Spain the chef cooked us all up a rabbit strew, which was the first time I had eaten this animal. Struggling to tell them so, what actually came out of my mouth was:

nunca antes he comido un coño.

I don't know if it meant to them exactly what it means to me, but I don't think it was a good first impression.


----------



## shoam

When I was a tour guide in Patagonia, I took a group hiking in the mountains. We got to a beautiful place, very green with waterfalls and a great view. A young man form Australia jumped into the water and felt really great and happy to be there. He had to express this and try to say “I’m in heaven!” (estoy en el cielo)
But, instead he said “estoy en celo” (I’m in heat)


----------



## shoam

Ah, the lovely verb "to work." Se dice _sirve_, m'ijo, no _trabaja_.[/quote]
NO TRABAJA

does not have a JOB??????

o...
¿NO FUNCIONA?


----------



## maliliana

when I went to school in the USA i found it very hard to move from one classroom to the other the first week because I was used to a very small school so I said to an awful group of teenagers I AM LOOSE, showing them my schedule instead of I AM LOST.
you can all imagine their faces and MINE after I went home and told my aunt what I said and finally realized what it was.


----------



## badgrammar

My little bilingual kids are always coming up with good ones.  I asked my son to do something the other day and he looked at me all serious and said "Okay, I'll do it...  On one conditioner."!


----------



## sound shift

This is not something that happened to me but an advertisement for a language school that I saw on the Paris Metro many years ago. It is in the form of a dialogue.

A Spaniard asks, _*Dónde está el gato?
*_A French person replies, _*Le gateau est dans le frigo*_*.
*
The conversation continues in this way (I can't recall the whole dialogue) until an Italian starts talking about _*mozzarella*_ (cheese), to which a French speaker responds, _*Ah, Mozart est là? 


*_Does anyone remember this?


----------



## Setwale_Charm

VenusEnvy said:


> Towards the beginning of learning french, I made a couple of mistakes.
> 
> After reading an essay to the class, I _should _have said, "J'ai fini" ("I have finished"). Instead, I said, "Je suis fini" (has the connotation of being finished, ::draws a lines across neck with pointer finger:: ).


 
 Praise the Lord, you didn`t say that in Russian!!! That would mean rather something like "I have come!" and so many foreigners and even Russian commit this mistake. As well as I have said things like: "Of course, I will give (it to) you" in response to "could you give me". Again the same connotations: in Russian it means to agree to have sex with. But those minor points are not so much grammar mistakes as subtleties of style and one needs to be a very educated speaker to be able to perceive them.


----------



## roxcyn

Bienvenidos said:


> Ranchuelo, ¿de cuál país esta "zumo"? Nunca lo he oído. Por lo general, digo "jugo de naranja".
> 
> Muchas Gracias.
> 
> *Bienvenidos*



Zumo se usa en España


----------



## roxcyn

Some of the students laugh at these words when they learn Spanish:

Molestar: it looks like it means Molest in Spanish, but it means "to bother/annoy"

Quizás: it sounds like "kiss a$$" or a$$

llamamos: it sounds like your mama

mejor: it sounds like whore


----------



## Setwale_Charm

roxcyn said:


> Some of the students laugh at these words when they learn Spanish:
> 
> Molestar: it looks like it means Molest in Spanish, but it means "to bother/annoy"
> 
> Quizás: it sounds like "kiss a$$" or a$$
> 
> llamamos: it sounds like your mama
> 
> mejor: it sounds like whore


 
Or rather: me, whore!

Many bilingual kids make mistakes of beginning to adapt the words of their first language to the grammar rules of the second. Some kids I know start declining the English words according to the Russian grammar rules. For instance, I have heard them say things like :Give me this booku! The thing is: the Russian word for "book" is _kniga_ and in a sentence like this it will be used in Accusative Case which requires substituting the final "a" with "u" - "knigu". So the child simply applied the Russian rule to the English word.


----------



## invictaspirit

Aged 15 on my exchange visit to Essen, Germany, I replied 'diahorrea' (durchfalls) instead of 'likewise/thesame to you' (gleichfalls) to my exchange-partner's sweet old granny who had wished me 'Guten Appetit'.

Later that week I told his mother that I had worn a herring in my year for 2 years.  (She had asked me whether I liked herring because she was going to prepare some for dinner.  I thought she was referring to my ear-ring, the wearing of which was seen as a little more 'punk' and rebellious in Germany in 1981 than it was in England, and I replied:  "Yes, I have had one in my ear for two years."  She left the room looking slightly disturbed, and we ate chicken for dinner.


----------



## ayed

One day , I was at a hospital to take my wife out after she had delivered a neonate, I showed up at the nurse office and  the following dialogue took place , showing off :

(me):'How you doing"
(an African nurse:"fine!Thank you, Mr.Ayed"
(me):"I will call my *husband* to see and check her baby before we go out"( I said so unintentionally and I did not know how my English let me down!!
All of nurses who were about us laught at me.
What a critical situation I was in!
Sweat-soaked torso!


----------



## Frank06

Hi,

In Belgium, blowing your nose in public is quite often regarded as a pragmatic thing to do: it's not the most polite action, but when it is necessary, one can simply turn around and blow it. As long as one doesn't make too much noise, it's more or less okay.
So, that's what I did in *Iran*, in the house of my (then) future wife and family in-law... What I didn't know was that blowing your noise in public in Iran is more or less the equivalent of farting here. It's _*absolutely*_ not done .

Also in *Iran*, I once stepped out of a taxi, and the taxi driver was nice enough to wait a bit, so he could be sure I was at the right place. Yep, there are nice taxi drivers in Tehran . My way to ensure him that I was indeed at the right spot, was the thumbs-up sign. In Iran, that sign is the same as giving somebody 'The Finger', the obscene gesture with the middle finger.
I comfort myself with the idea that, when he raised his thumb and smiled back to me, he understood the 'western' meaning of the thumb-up sign and signalled that everything was okay...

In *Portugal*, I once wanted to rent a private room in the Algarve. The woman showed me around in her appartment, and when we arrived at her kitchen, I found it necessary to say something in Portuguese (though I hardly spoke Portuguese at that moment). I told her  'Você tem um *cuzinho* muito lindo' and I felt so proud that my sentence rolled out of my mouth rather smoothly. I was a bit surprised by her reaction, though, since she started to laugh in a weird and even girlish way.
 Luckily, I only found out much later how embarrassing my 'compliment' was, since it literally means 'You have a cute little ass/bum'.
(Kitchen in Portuguese is *cozinha*). 

Groetjes,

Frank
PS: I'm not sure about the spelling of the Portuguese phrase...


----------



## invictaspirit

Frank06 said:


> Hi,
> 
> In Belgium, blowing your nose in public is quite often regarded as a pragmatic thing to do: it's not the most polite action, but when it is necessary, one can simply turn around and blow it. As long as one doesn't make too much noise, it's more or less okay.
> So, that's what I did in *Iran*, in the house of my (then) future wife and family in-law... What I didn't know was that blowing your noise in public in Iran is more or less the equivalent of farting here. It's _*absolutely*_ not done .
> 
> Also in *Iran*, I once stepped out of a taxi, and the taxi driver was nice enough to wait a bit, so he could be sure I was at the right place. Yep, there are nice taxi drivers in Tehran . My way to ensure him that I was indeed at the right spot, was the thumbs-up sign. In Iran, that sign is the same as giving somebody 'The Finger', the obscene gesture with the middle finger.
> I comfort myself with the idea that, when he raised his thumb and smiled back to me, he understood the 'western' meaning of the thumb-up sign and signalled that everything was okay...
> 
> In *Portugal*, I once wanted to rent a private room in the Algarve. The woman showed me around in her appartment, and when we arrived at her kitchen, I found it necessary to say something in Portuguese (though I hardly spoke Portuguese at that moment). I told her 'Você tem um *cuzinho* muito lindo' and I felt so proud that my sentence rolled out of my mouth rather smoothly. I was a bit surprised by her reaction, though, since she started to laugh in a weird and even girlish way.
> Luckily, I only found out much later how embarrassing my 'compliment' was, since it literally means 'You have a cute little ass/bum'.
> (Kitchen in Portuguese is *cozinha*).
> 
> Groetjes,
> 
> Frank
> PS: I'm not sure about the spelling of the Portuguese phrase...


 
Why is it that when we make these mistakes, the wrong word is always something to do with sex, bodily functions (etc etc)?  

Fate insists that your wrong word was 'ass' and mine was 'diahorrea'.  Why couldn't yours have been 'sideboard' and mine 'power-drill'?


----------



## maxiogee

invictaspirit said:


> Why is it that when we make these mistakes, the wrong word is always something to do with sex, bodily functions (etc etc)?



Because it's not as embarrassing, and therefore not as embarrasing, when we mistake the word for door-handle with the word for picture-hook, or whatever. 
Also, it doesn't quite raise the eyebrows of the listeners as much and we may not even know we've made a mistake. They know from context what we mean to say, and they make allowances.


----------



## Lusitania

Well, to make it more embarassing 

Portuguese people have always understood well Spanish and we gather we understand everything as the two languages are so similar. However, once you learn it you find out that many words write almost the same or they sound the same but have different meanings.

One example is Folha (paper) in portuguese sounds like Folla (spanish) in spanish. Imagine how many misunderstandings this might bring..


----------



## Outsider

Frank06 said:


> In *Portugal*, I once wanted to rent a private room in the Algarve. The woman showed me around in her appartment, and when we arrived at her kitchen, I found it necessary to say something in Portuguese (though I hardly spoke Portuguese at that moment). I told her  'Você tem um *cuzinho* muito lindo' and I felt so proud that my sentence rolled out of my mouth rather smoothly. I was a bit surprised by her reaction, though, since she started to laugh in a weird and even girlish way.
> Luckily, I only found out much later how embarrassing my 'compliment' was, since it literally means 'You have a cute little ass/bum'.
> (Kitchen in Portuguese is *cozinha*).


Very funny story, and yes, it's well spelled.


----------



## itka

I was visiting the Tyroler Mountains in Austria with an austrian (boy) friend and we stopped in a nice place to drink something. I went to the "toilets" where of course my friend coudn't come with me.
Suddenly, inside, I saw a large pannel on the door :  "ACHTUNG XXX"  (Take care of XXX) (a word that I didn't know). I was afraid, looked everywhere around me, but all seemed okay. Although I dared not move anymore. For a long time, I stood wondering *what* should I take care of.... Endly, I went out with a max of caution. ...My friend laughed a lot when he explained : 'achtung stufe' means 'beware of the step'.


----------



## roxcyn

And I thought of another one....the verb poner in the preterite....it gets a lot of laughs sometimes, it sounds like "pus*y":
puse, pusiste, puso, pusimos, pusieron


----------



## ayed

*



Frank06:
My way to ensure him that I was indeed at the right spot, was the thumbs-up sign. In Iran, that sign is the same as giving somebody 'The Finger', the obscene gesture with the middle finger.
I comfort myself with the idea that, when he raised his thumb and smiled back to me, he understood the 'western' meaning of the thumb-up sign and signalled that everything was okay.
		
Click to expand...

* 

Thank you and others for your funny stories.
You remebered me of a relative's story of mine who , once, worked for ARAMCO company in Saudi Arabia 30 years ago.My relative , Mr.Fahad is a bedouin and worked with many Americans there.One day ,when he worked hard and amazed his American supervisor who "thumbed up" to Fahad.
Wow!Fahad understood this sigh is "flipping off" and took a flat board and hit the American' thumb.Some blood gushed and the case was settled.
Asked why he did so to his supervisor, Fahad said:"He 'flipped me off" and I revenge on him, that is it"
The American supervisor laught much at Mr.Fahad.


----------



## fiorilù

I have got a gross one!!!

Female sex organ:

An english friend of his together with my director were once at an Italian restaurant

The englishman: I want to order some "fegato in padella" how shall I order to the waiter?

and the other: "you ask for some "f...in padella" ( I omitted the whole word but you will know that it is the female sex organ..." - meaning the whole frase "some fried liver" in the intention of the english one...)

The poor one, when the waiter was close enough to their table , almost shouted: "May I have " f... in padella ?"

Can you imagine the people there??
  

A have a very nice director indeed....


----------



## Lemminkäinen

This didn't happen to me, but I read it in the university paper, in an article about foreign students learning Norwegian.

First off, some of the hardest things in Norwegian are all the vowels - there are nine, and they can all be either long or short.

So apparently this teacher was talking to a French student about her (the teacher's) daughter (in Norwegian) at a graduation party or something when the teacher's husband arrives.
The student then means to tell him that they're talking about his little girl: "vi står bare her og prater om _piken_ din".

Instead she pronounced the /i/ short and said _pikken_, meaning "we're standing here talking about your dick".

She realised what she had said shortly after


----------



## Poetic Device

When I was working at a youth camp near me (B.C. of course) there was a Chineese girl that was an exchange student working there.  SHe and one of the lifeguards were pretty smitten.  One night we were all swimming in the lake and he went and dunked her in the shallow wnd and sat on her as a joke.  At that point, she screamed, "No, Brandan! I hate you!  Get out of me!"  Here she she meant to say get off of me.  lol


----------



## alahay

Few weeks ago I found myslef in a pretty awkward situation during a Portuguese-dominated Spanish conversation.

(she) cuantos *años* tienes?
(me) tengo 24 anos!


----------



## ElaineG

OK, here are mine (I posted these in IE awhile back):

When I first moved to Italy (and didn't speak a word of Italian), I found myself in need of a pen (una *penna*). I looked up each word in my dictionary and practiced to myself, but when I got to the newsstand, what came out was "Ho bisogno di un pene nero. (I need a black penis)" Several months later, when we had gotten to know one another, the guy who owned the newsstand told me about my mistake and how he and his friends had had a good laugh at the expense of la ragazza americana. Boh!

Along very similar lines, an American girl who stayed with us for a while ran into some of our Italian friends at the bar one morning. They asked her if she'd already had breakfast -- she replied "ho avuto un pezzo di *pene*" ("I had a piece of penis) (insted of *pane *(bread)). They proceeded to tease her at some length "Sì? Quello lungo o quello corto? Duro o morbido?" (A long one or a short one? Hard or soft?) and she innocently answered all their questions, although she wondered why they were so interested in this piece of bread.

Finally, my friend Laura was giving Italian lessons to a kindly elderly British gentleman with a passion for gardening who had recently bought a villa near our town in Sicily. The gentleman was planting his villa with local plants, including "*fico* d'India" (an Indian fig plant). Well, unfortunately, he had gotten the name a little bit wrong and he insisted on called this plant a *fica* (pu**y). One day we were all at dinner with this gentleman, and finding that Laura's mother was a passionate gardener also, he asked this stately Sicilian matron in pidgin Italian, how many times a week the plant should be watered and how much. Unfortunately what he came out with was, "Quante volte la settimana lei bagna la fica d'India? Deve essere molto bagnata o solo un po'?" (How many times a week do you wet the Indian p***y? Does it have to be very wet or only a little?  )


----------



## Vanda

I have one about f**a in Italian! I have a Brazilian friend living in Florence since she's got married. Once her Brazilian cousin went to visit her and took a bus to visit another city. The bus was crowded and so an old - well, not very old - man gave her his seat. Then, she, in a perfect good Pt, told the man: Thank you, but please f**a, (and continue to repeat the word many times). At this point everybody was looking at her and the man was very embarrassed. Well, this word in Pt means stay/remain and she was trying to say she preferred him to be seated.


----------



## Vanest

¡Este hilo es muy chistoso! Tengo una anécdota que compartir: En el Ecuador, el plato fuerte de la comida a veces se llama 'seco'. Entonces, un plato muy común se llama 'seco de gallina', que es un plato de pollo con vegetales y arroz. En un restaurante en donde pretendían ser 'internacionales' y trataban de captar el turismo, intentaron traducir el menú al inglés, con el siguiente resultado: 'seco de gallina = dry of hen'.


----------



## Behane

I've been laughing so much, my flatmate in the other room must think i've completely lost the plot!

I used to have a very butch scottish friend, who spoke great french, but shamefacedly admitted that for the first month or so after his move to France, he'd been telling everyone he met that he used to be a "suce-marin" (sucer - to suck, marin - sailor) instead of saying he worked on a "sous-marin" (submarine). Go figure...


----------



## Lusitania

A friend of mine was suposed to send me a document in english. He wanted to be pleasant and send it in portuguese. So he went to an only translator and send it to me.

There was one part that in english said "when the trainer really sucks" and in portuguese "quanto o formador chupa" or something like this. Chupa in portuguese is slang for oral sex


----------



## Poetic Device

Here's a little something to giggle and chuckle at:
http://snopes.com/humor/misxlate/bodrum.asp


----------



## jp_fr_linguaphile

I lived in Japan for some time and in their language there is a difference in meaning between long and short vowels.  There are two words in Japanese with very different meanings: busu & buusu.  I went into a restaurant with some gaijin friends and told the hostess that I wanted to sit on the ugly girl (busu ni suwaritai no desu ga) instead of I want to sit at a booth (buusu no hou ni suwaritai no desu ga).  I am still not sure if even the second expression is a common one.  Sometimes the simplest things can have such an exotic expression in Japanese.


----------



## Brabol

I've mentioned what happen with our noisy Brazilian-Italian Adm. Manager in another post. This happen to her when we start to operate the brazilian branch of our spanish company - the Spanish secretary of the President(she is in her own opinion the second person in importance within the company) called her to ask something "very important and urgent"...
Our AM answered at once: "Pois não!"
- "What?! Are you saying NO to me ????!!!!!
Well, I had a hard time explaining to the mad lady that in Brazil "pois não" means YES and "pois sim" means NO. She couldn´t believed in it!

Note: I cannot link anything until I reach 30 posts. So if somebody is interesting in seeing the post I've mentioned above take a look in this adress: forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=294138&page=2


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## fobits

Poetic Device said:


> Here's a little something to giggle and chuckle at:
> http://snopes.com/humor/misxlate/bodrum.asp


 
That's hilarious, but if you go back one page there are more of them: http://snopes.com/humor/misxlate/misxlate.asp


----------



## mirx

One of my american friends 17 years old at that time came over to México. we went to a club and met with my friends, we spotted a very attractive girl and asked me. How do you say nice or pretty?

I wanted to play a joke on him so I told him the word for pretty in spanish was "puta". He looked at me with a weird expression and said that that was not the meaning. That he knew what p..a meant.

Somehow I convinced him that that was the way "chianos" used it and in any real speking spanish country p,,a meant pretty. As naturally as I could, I gave him lots of examples using the word with the "pretty" meaning.

He eventually went staright to the girl, and told her with her best mexican accent.

"Me gustas mucho, tu muy puta".

She cursed him all the words you can think of in spanish and since he didn't undesrtand, he repeated confused, "tu puta".

She couldn't stand it anymore, and slapped him in the face. While me and my other american friend laughed our asses off.


----------



## avalon2004

When I was in Greece I once said:
_Πώς θα θέλατε να σας πληγώσουμε_ (how would you like us to hurt you?) instead of _πώς θα θέλατε να σας πληρώσουμε_ (how would you like us to pay you?) The words for "hurt" and "pay" are very similar!
I think this caused considerable amusement but was quickly forgotten as I had at least bothered to address them in Greek!


----------



## Poetic Device

mirx said:


> One of my american friends 17 years old at that time came over to México. we went to a club and met with my friends, we spotted a very attractive girl and asked me. How do you say nice or pretty?
> 
> I wanted to play a joke on him so I told him the word for pretty in spanish was "puta". He looked at me with a weird expression and said that that was not the meaning. That he knew what p..a meant.
> 
> Somehow I convinced him that that was the way "chianos" used it and in any real speking spanish country p,,a meant pretty. As naturally as I could, I gave him lots of examples using the word with the "pretty" meaning.
> 
> He eventually went staright to the girl, and told her with her best mexican accent.
> 
> "Me gustas mucho, tu muy puta".
> 
> She cursed him all the words you can think of in spanish and since he didn't undesrtand, he repeated confused, "tu puta".
> 
> She couldn't stand it anymore, and slapped him in the face. While me and my other american friend laughed our asses off.


 
Just to make sure I'm on the right page.  Puta means bitch, right?


----------



## suzzzenn

I have just learned that I have been accidently telling everyone that I am very attracted to my next door neighbor! 

I meant to say:
Me gusta muchisimo mi vecinderio (I really like my neighborhood)

but I have been mixing up the words neighbor and neighborhood - vecino y vecinderio. 

I have been saying:
Me gusta muchisimo mi vecino (I like (romantically,sexually) my neighbor) 

When my I saw my 80 year old neighbor out in his yard the other morning, I couldn't help but smile as I waved hello.  Wouldn't he be surprised!


----------



## mirx

Poetic Device said:


> Just to make sure I'm on the right page. Puta means bitch, right?


 

More like whore...


----------



## elm0505

A few years ago I was in France buying pizza at a brasserie and when the waiter asked what we wanted I said: "Une pizza *Quatre Stations*, s'il vous plaît". The waiter grinned and said "*Quatre Saisons*, tu veux dire?". You know, Four Seasons pizza in Spanish is "pizza Cuatro Estaciones"


----------



## Markus

Okay .. this one happened not too long ago. When I got back to France, I was talking to some people at work and a girl said, "Bon c'est bien que tu es revenu parmi nous". This means, "It's nice that you've come back among us". In particular, _parmi nous_ means _among us_. However, I misinterpreted her, and I thought she was talking about _how_ I got back to France. For example, "tu es revenu par avion", or "tu es revenu par voiture" would mean "You came back by plane" or "you came back by car".

So I thought that the phrase was, "C'est bien que tu es revenu _par minou_". As you can see, the spelling almost the same, and the pronounciation is identical! However I didn't know this word _minou_ so I asked them what it was. They burst out laughing and took awhile for them to explain she had meant _parmi nous_ and that _minou_ means pussy (yes, in the dirty-word sense!). So now every time I see them they say "Bienvenue parmi nous!" (or is it par minou?).


----------



## PhilFrEn

excellent Makus 

For me in Germany, I had also an embarrassing Problem.

In German, to describ a "cool" way of behaving or speaking like I don't know "yo mean, what's up" (of course translated in German!), this is called: _salopp sprechen.

_ Problem is: _salopp _is identically said as a French insult (translation of Bit** )

So that somebody tell you: _Du bist salopp_, I thought immediatly that he was shitty me and insulting me while using the first word of insult he has found in a dictionnary . In fact he was saying that my German was not too bad. Fortunately, I didn't jump on him to explain that insults is not really appreciate on my side .

Very confusing .


----------



## ameana7

I have a friend from Albenia. She asked for the "yarım erkek arası döner" in the canteen, which means "half a man with doner kebab" ; instead of saying "yarım ekmek arası döner" which means "half bread with doner kebab".


----------



## texasweed

My first American boyfriend was a carpenter. It took me 8 months to realise that no, he was not painting cars all day


----------



## robbie_SWE

This must be the funniest thread I have ever posted in!!! You guys are priceless!  

Now, to some of my biggest blunders (the ones I haven't suppressed anyway! ):

My German teacher (happened a year ago) had a class where she explained the blunders you shouldn't do in German. The most classic mistake for a Swede to do while speaking in German is to say "*Ich bin warm*" (“I am horny” while actually trying to say “I’m warm”). The conversation: 

Teacher: -_Why shouldn't you say "Ich bin warm" to Germans?_ 
Me (raised my hand up as high as I could): -_Because they'll think you're horny!_ 
Teacher: -_Correct, well done. How should you say instead if you want to say that you are warm?_
Me (boldly raised my hand, maybe I shouldn't have done that): -_*Ich bin heiß!*_ 

I knew that something was wrong when she started laughing in front of the whole class; my confidence in the German language disappeared right then and I have yet to recover it!  Being such a great teacher as she was, she told me that I can use that phrase when I'll meet a girl in a club, with the consequence of getting slapped in the face! 

(Saying “*Ich bin heiß*” is even stronger than saying “Ich bin warm”; Germans would literally search for a bucket of water to cool you down)

Another humiliating thing that happened to me in Italy two years ago during my exchange, took place during a conversation with my exchange student's parents. They were talking about something, that I didn't completely understand. Here's the conversation: 

The mother: -_C'è morbido._ 
Me (I suddenly fell silent and became sad, I asked them): -_Le mie condoglianze, ma chi è morto?_ 

Needless to say they were stunned, but I realised my blunder relatively soon and explained my false connotations. We had a great laugh about it afterwards!  

(morbid in Swedish means the same as in English...and in every other language except Italian where it means "soft"). 

That's all that I can recall, but such mistakes happen to me quite often! The curse of studying so many languages!  

 robbie


----------



## Trina

texasweed said:


> My first American boyfriend was a carpenter. It took me 8 months to realise that no, he was not painting cars all day


This reminds me of an anecdote my Italian teacher told me. When he came to live in Australia he couldn't understand Australia's obsessive preoccupation with salt.
"Salt" in Italian is "sale" and he had been seeing signs with
*SALE *written everywhere.


----------



## vince

sometimes I confuse muzh/muzhchina (Russian for husband/man) with woman because in Portuguese/Spanish, woman is mulher/mujer.


----------



## badgrammar

ameana7 said:


> I have a friend from Albenia. She asked for the "yar?m erkek aras? döner" in the canteen, which means "half a man with doner kebab" ; instead of saying "yar?m ekmek aras? döner" which means "half bread with doner kebab".



I can't remember if I already posted this one, but once in Turkey, the captain of the boat we were on had an eye infection.  I wanted to know if his eyes were better today.  I think I said something like "Dun gögüslerin daha iyi?"  Which actually means "Are your breasts better today"? 

Gögüsler is breasts, "gözler" is eyes. The fact that I was wearing a small bikini made it even more embarassing!


----------



## Hakro

Trina said:


> This reminds me of an anecdote my Italian teacher told me. When he came to live in Australia he couldn't understand Australia's obsessive preoccupation with salt.
> "Salt" in Italian is "sale" and he had been seeing signs with
> *SALE *written everywhere.


And what might the French think about it as _sale_ = dirty, lousy, messy etc.


----------



## ameana7

> I can't remember if I already posted this one, but once in Turkey, the captain of the boat we were on had an eye infection. I wanted to know if his eyes were better today. I think I said something like "Dun gögüslerin daha iyi?" Which actually means "Are your breasts better today"?
> 
> Gögüsler is breasts, "gözler" is eyes. The fact that I was wearing a small bikini made it even more embarassing!


 
Really it is quite embrassing!  
PS: "Dün" means yesterday and "Bugün" is today. A little note!


----------



## sneaksleep

In Chile, a friend was trying to order two beef and onion empanadas (_empanadas de pino_). But she asked for _dos empanadas de pico_ (pico = slang for penis). You should have seen the expression on the woman's face at the bakery!!


----------



## the_duke_of_doi_tung

I asked for "Enslada de Queso de cabron" instead of queso de cabra

Bastards cheese salad, instead of goats cheese salad

A friend declared in a work dinner " Me encanta la polla" instead of "el pollo"  I love cock instead of I love the chicken.

At work we have a water machine with waxed paper cones to drink from which had run out.  I said to the secretary.  "Oye.  Se han acabado los coños"  "We've run out of c*nts" instead of cones


----------



## elm0505

sneaksleep said:


> In Chile, a friend was trying to order two beef and onion empanadas (_empanadas de pino_). But she asked for _dos empanadas de pico_ (pico = slang for penis). You should have seen the expression on the woman's face at the bakery!!


That's why a Chilean acquaintance of mine was so shocked when someone told him "Mi éxito con las mujeres radica en que tengo un pico de oro" ( in English something like "I'm so successful with women because I have the gift of gab" A Chilean would rather think "I'm so successful with women because I have a golden penis")


----------



## sneaksleep

elm0505 said:


> That's why a Chilean acquaintance of mine was so shocked when someone told him "Mi éxito con las mujeres radica en que tengo un pico de oro" ( in English something like "I'm so successful with women because I have the gift of gab" A Chilean would rather think "I'm so successful with women because I have a golden penis")


 
I laughed out loud when I read that!   The funniest part is that I have met men who really think that about themselves.


----------



## maxiogee

sneaksleep said:


> I laughed out loud when I read that!   The funniest part is that I have met men who really think that about themselves.



Believe what?
That they …
… have a golden penis
or
… are 'successful' with women!

When it comes to delusions, I think there are far more of the latter than there are of the former 

=======

The famous stone in Blarney Castle is a popular stop for American tourists who have heard that anyone who kisses it (it's not easy to reach) is reputedly endowed thereby with the gift of the gab —> maybe the Irish Tourist Board should be advertising in Chile!


----------



## sneaksleep

maxiogee said:


> The famous stone in Blarney Castle is a popular stop for American tourists who have heard that anyone who kisses it (it's not easy to reach) is reputedly endowed thereby with the gift of the gab —> maybe the Irish Tourist Board should be advertising in Chile!


 Except then people might not be _kissing_ the stone!


----------



## Jaén

Hi, all, I'll do my best trying to tell my blunders in English, I hope it seems to you as funny as they really were!

Here in Brazil, when you are spelling aloud a word, is very common to say another word starting with that letter you are telling, for example, to spell the word "casa" (home), they'll say: "c" de cebola, "a" de aberto, "s" de sapo... and so on.

So, when I bought my first computer here, it was a Compaq PC, and as any 'white man invention', it broken before the warranty expire, so, I called the customer service and they asked me the serial number, so, I started to say the serial number like this: "S, number 2, P, T, number 5..." then, the service man stoped me and started to spell like almost anyone here: "S de sapo, número 2, P de Paulo..." So, I restarted the spelling.

It happened that as every compaq product, there is a "Q" letter in all the serial numbers, so, when I reached the "Q" letter I said carelessly "Cu de queijo" ("Q as in queijo, cheese"). I fact, I spoke "portunhol", and said the name of the letter in Spanish, "cu", and the word related in Portuguese: queijo, queso, cheese. 

It happens that the word "cu" in Portuguese, is the same as "*sshole", so, can you imagine the face of the guy in the other side of the line? "Cheese *sshole??"  I should have told "Que de queijo", as "que" is the name of the "q" letter in Portuguese!!

My friend who was besides me got the blunder, and bursted into laugh. When I realized also laughed and was unable to continue talking, so I hung up the phone.

Another blunder was when I told an American girl who I was "trying to cross the line" with, *"You are nasty"*, when I really wanted to say *"you are naughty"*. Useless to say she immediately turned back and went away!


----------



## Coyoacan

1. Once an American friend (that came to stay at my house for the summer) and I were going to buy some groceries as he wanted to check out markets in Mexico, blah, blah.. As we were walking to the place we bumped into some acquaintances who asked us where we were headed. My friend Jeremy, wanting to impress them with his back then primitive Spanish exclaimed: _"ah! vamous a comprar unos *groserías*, quiere venir con noshotrous?"_ [Ah, we're headed to buy some groceries, wanna come with?] Of course, we all started laughing, as you all know *groserías* in Spanish means *profanities/cursings*...

2. Same Jeremy friend, different folks: We were talking about something or another (I honestly forget what it was) with some girl friends, and Jeremy wouldn't tell my friend (let's call her Mariana) what she wanted to know, apparently because it was something that would make her blush, embarassing her. 
When Jeremy felt too pressured by Mariana's insistence: _"Ay, ya Jeremy, tell what you were thinking!" _ he responded:  _"Lou kei pasa es que no quiero *embarazarte*!..."_ [well, the thing is I don't want to embarass you] to what my friend couldn't do more than drop her jaw, then slap him, then follow with a hug while a bunch of us had some hearty laughs. As you all know *embarazarte* is Spanish for *to make someone pregnant/to become pregnant* depending on context!


----------



## roxcyn

La taquilla (ticket booth), some students think it sounds like tequila (the alcohol drink) so they make comments about that


----------



## Coyoacan

roxcyn said:


> La taquilla (ticket booth), some students think it sounds like *tequilla* (the alcohol drink) so they make comments about that



oh, but you mean *TEQUILA*, Rox.  hehe... Just a li'l note (perhaps only a typo on your part.)

Yet, this shouldn't really be that confusing, since these two are pronounced entirely different.  Look:

*TAQUILLA: /tah kEE ya/
TEQUILA: /te KI lah/*

you see?
Hope that helps a bit, for your classes..

Regards!


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## roxcyn

Yes, I told them that about that, but many of them like to joke around about the tequila, hahaha!  It's pretty funny .


----------



## Krümelmonster

@robbie_SWE:In Germany "Ich bin heiß" means "I'm hot", but "warm sein" is used as "being gay" in most cases...


----------



## PianoMan

Then how would you say "I am warm/hot"?  Isn't it "Ich habe warm/heiß"?


----------



## Marialie

My boyfriend is Mexican and we speak mainly Spanish together. Recently I was with him and a couple of his friends in a department store when we passed by a large Christmas Tree Display. My intention was to explain to the guys that my family celebrates La Navidad with a fake tree due to my allergies to Pines. However, my mouth was apparently working faster than my brain and instead of formulating "mi familia tenemos un árbol artificial porque soy alérgica a los Pinos" I blurted out "soy alérgica a los penes." Of course when i realized that i had just told my boyfriend and his friends I was allergic to penises, i was absolutely mortified.


----------



## Setwale_Charm

PianoMan said:


> Then how would you say "I am warm/hot"? Isn't it "Ich habe warm/heiß"?


 
 Mir ist warm, perhaps.


----------



## dificilima

Alunarada said:


> Has anyone here ever said "crap" instead "crab" when talking about food? I did..
> 
> 
> PS: Una broma de muy mal gusto en mi opinión la que te gastaron Venus Envy.



I've actually seen typed menus in Thailand where they feature fried crap.


----------



## ApHeX

I was once trying to explain to a friend from Spain i was a romanian(translation = rumano) , instead i said "romani" (which can easily be understood as "gypsy" in spanish)


----------



## dificilima

I once worked in a remote medical clinic with two other women, one Dutch and one Australian.  One day, we were discussing ways to improve patient care  when my Dutch friend piped up:  "I think we should do more bondage with Jean Pierre," Jean Pierre being the handsome French doctor running services at a neighboring hospital.   My other coworker and I looked at each other and immediately agreed that that would be an excellent idea...  
(She meant to say referrals/networking instead of bondage which means engaging in sadomasochistic sex).

One of the biggest difficulties I have learning Khmer is with the huge number of different vowels and diphthongs.  I remember one incident early on when I came across the three year old son of a coworker in Cambodia eating a piece of cake.  Trying to be friendly, I said to him "nom," the generic word for all snacks and treats.  Imagine my dismay when he promptly pulled down his shorts and started irrigating the dirt floor of the house.  It seems I'd inadvertently said "noum" which means urine.

Also in a memo from a French supervisor:  "Our next regional meeting will be on July 15.  Please prepare a synthetic presentation of your project activities."  I guess she meant for us to prepare a short summary of our activities. Synthetic means something quite different in English.

English pronunciation is so idiosyncratic, I often feel sorry for people learning the language.  I remember another situation where I was working in an HIV/AIDs project where we used wooden penises for condom demonstrations.  All communication was by HF radio.  One night a shy local colleague tried to make a call ordering 5 wooden penises to be sent in a car the next day.  Although he'd seen the word many times, he didn't really know how to pronounce it in English and broke it up into the obvious parts that he was familiar with: pen is.   The new American logistician on the other end wasn't accustomed to dealing with foreign accents and just could not understand what he was saying.  It didn't help that the man placing the order could not spell.  The result was about 10 minutes of comedy broadcast over much of the country:
A:  I'm sorry, I do not copy.  Can you please repeat again.  Over.
B:  I need five pen is, please.  Over.
A:  Please confirm, you need five pens.  Over.
B:  No, no.  Five PEN IS. Over.
A:  Can you please spell that please. Over.
B:  Yes.  Papa. Alpha. November. India. Sierra. Over
A.  You're saying you want pans? Like for cooking? Over
etc.


----------



## Lusitania

Once, during a training, we had a role-play and each one of us got a paper with a role that we were suposed to play. The participant next to me said "I got a hard on"  Off course he meant that the role was a hard one. We laughed a lot.


----------



## Lilla My

I was in Norway last year and living in a student village where I shared a flat with other students. When speaking in Norwegian with a german friend, we kept saying : "samboen min" meaning "my flatmate".
Until we learned that "sambo" means also "boy/girlfriend".
We never really figured out if it can be used in a "neutral" way, but just avoided saying it at all


----------



## 1Euro

Mine was related to corporal language, if I may say so...  

First time I arrived in the UK, London Heathrow, with another bunch of 16 and 17-year-old English students. I was interested in a fellow girl I had met during the flight, and I asked her if she'd like a Coke or something, since we had to wait until another planeload of students arrived. She said yes and we went to a nearby bar, and the waiter was an enormous Hindu. I approached him and said "Please, two Cokes" while doing a common Spanish sign for "two" with my hand -like the "victory" sign. You can imagine what followed. It was quite difficult to explain him (specially since we were 17...) that in Spain, the "digital f**k you signs" exist but are different...


----------



## Siberia

When I was in Italy I was having some stomach problems, so I decided to see a doctor.  I saw this sign on the door saying: Stomatologo.  I decided to go in and I waited my turn.  When I got to see the doctor, he asked me what the matter was and I told him about my stomach pains.  He was very understanding but told me that as a "Stomatologo" was a "dentist" he couldn't give me anything for it.   I just didn't know where to look and just said thank you and left as quickly as possible- never to return to that town.

Sib


----------



## ganieda

Hi, 
The first time my boyfriend came with me in england at the end of the dinner he told my grandmother, "Pffffff, it was very good, I am fed up !" meaning he ate too much...


----------



## Bunni

While in China, I mistook 2 jiao (20 cents) for 2 yuan because it was in paper form. The shopkeeper ridiculed me, lol.


----------



## PianoMan

I've known multiple people who've made the mistake of saying in French "I'm pregnant" when they say "Je suis plain" while simply meaning to say "I'm full".


----------



## geve

PianoMan said:


> I've known multiple people who've made the mistake of saying in French "I'm pregnant" when they say "Je suis plain" while simply meaning to say "I'm full".


Just one thing: the word "plein" is used to mean "pregnant" when referring to animals only; women are "enceintes". And of course it would only work in the feminine "Je suis pleine"


----------



## Saimon

When I started high school my father was stationed in southern Germany. My sister and I were sent to a German school where we had to take Latin. One of the first class exercises was to translate the text aloud, from Latin to German. Katherine got the sentence "Serpens video!" (I see a snake!) which in German would be "Ich sehe eine Schlange!" She translated that as "Ich sehe eine Schlampe!" or "I see a slut!" She was the only person who'd ever succeeded in getting a laugh out of our Latin teacher, a rather grim old man who hadn't had a new idea since 1950.


----------



## geve

Just yesterday I almost wrote "stroke" instead of "struck" in a PM on this forum. Thank god the WRD provides conjugations! 

On the other hand, "it stroke my mind" is cute, isn't it? (though grammatically incorrect)


----------



## Thomsen

I've made more than a few myself, though I can't think of any besides the usual "Soy caliente." etc.

A Brazilian friend of mine was learning Spanish in Texas.  Her teacher asked what she liked to do to which she replied "I like to run".  Me gusta _correr_.  Unfortunately she pronounced the rr as you would in Portugues and like a g in Spanish and ended up saying what sounded like "Me gusta _coger_."  In English, "I like to f#$k."


----------



## PianoMan

Sorry about the spelling on "pleine", I've just never seen it written before, only heard it. But from what I've heard, my mother was vacationing in France once, and had a great meal in some restaurant, and apparently said the same thing which got the waiter a little confused. 

I myself have made the mistake in Spanish of rolling the "r" on "pera" to make it sound like "perra" on accident. Didn't go over too well when trying to purchase fruit, I don't think they really ever understood my explanation.


----------



## Québec-Jakarta

How to say Merry Christmas in Bahasa Indonesia?  Selamat natal.  But I said to this guy I barely know: Selamat nakal.  Nakal means, naughty or horny...


----------



## Amityville

My latest:
J'adore la cuisine française - le pot au feu, toute sorte de fruits de mer, etc,  les couilles de grenouilles bien sûr, etc. agh oops - I mean cuisses.

it may be a common slip - the ease with which it rolled off the tongue was something to behold !


----------



## roxcyn

Thomsen said:


> I've made more than a few myself, though I can't think of any besides the usual "Soy caliente." etc.
> 
> A Brazilian friend of mine was learning Spanish in Texas.  Her teacher asked what she liked to do to which she replied "I like to run".  Me gusta _correr_.  Unfortunately she pronounced the rr as you would in Portugues and like a g in Spanish and ended up saying what sounded like "Me gusta _coger_."  In English, "I like to f#$k."



That's funny, well coger means "to catch" or "to pick up" in Spain .  So imagine: Necesito coger el metro if someone travels outside of Spain :O


----------



## panderetita1986

English friend: "Unfortunately we lost against Portugal, now we will have to wait another 4 years to play the World Cup"
Me: "It is a pity, but anyway you have great football players, like _Michael Oven_"
English friend: "Whoo??"


----------



## Thomsen

roxcyn said:


> That's funny, well coger means "to catch" or "to pick up" in Spain . So imagine: Necesito coger el metro if someone travels outside of Spain :O


 


Yeah, even though I had heard it used in Spain, I was always too afraid to say it just in case!  

It's hard enough avoiding mistakes En>Es, we have to avoid Es>Es ones too. I always had to restrain myself from saying "las papas" too...   Papaya no se dice en Cuba.  Se llama fruta bomba.  Pues, se dice papaya, pero se refiere a otra cosa.


----------



## roxcyn

¿por qué no dices "las papas"?


----------



## pyan

When she first moved to France my neighbour got a puppy and told a few people she had a new shit-house before she was corrected.

The French word "chiot" means "puppy".  The French word "chiotte" means "shit-house".


----------



## la_cavalière

At a restaurant in Québec, my friend wanted to order poutine, which is a dish of French fries topped with cheese and gravy. But instead of ordering "une poutine," he ordered "une putain" -- a whore  !


----------



## mcibor

When I was in Spain with choir there was a girl with us - Alexandra. However in Polish abbreviation for that is Ola. Once walking on the pavement we saw her on the other side of a road and started crying Ola! Ola! and waving hands. 
Everybody else on the street did the same.
(Hola in Spanish means "hi", h is not pronounced)

But for Poles the funniest language is Czech, especially if you know some words:
Dziadek szukał laski 
- Polish: grandpa was searching for his walking stick; 
- Czech: grandpa was f***ing a b**ch.

I know it's a mutual feeling - for Czech Polish is also very funny to listen to.

Another example is Swedish
Nej tak:
- Swedish: no, thank you
- Polish: no yes (My girlfriend usually says so - I answer: Decide then)

Also one translation from American:
A miracle above a miracle
translated to
America above America


----------



## frequency

This is not about me but my friend, I was teaching some Japanese to him (we're not native English speakers) but his mother tongue has strong stress and intonation. So I had to tell him "say it flat!", then he suddenly said "apartment".  a very cute mistake I can't forget.


----------



## sneaksleep

I don't know the exact words he used, but there is a funny story from when my brother lived in Japan. He and his girlfriend were shopping, and he was getting impatient because she was taking a long time in the store. He wanted to say "I'm getting old here" (like, I've been waiting so long I'm getting old). So he thought he used the words for "I'm becoming an old man." But he actually said "I'm _*riding*_ an old man." And just at that moment, he was standing next to an old man who was bending over to pick something up! His girlfriend and the other people in the store looked at him like he was crazy!!


----------



## jp_fr_linguaphile

sneaksleep said:


> I don't know the exact words he used, but there is a funny story from when my brother lived in Japan. He and his girlfriend were shopping, and he was getting impatient because she was taking a long time in the store. He wanted to say "I'm getting old here" (like, I've been waiting so long I'm getting old). So he thought he used the words for "I'm becoming an old man." But he actually said "I'm _*riding*_ an old man." And just at that moment, he was standing next to an old man who was bending over to pick something up! His girlfriend and the other people in the store looked at him like he was crazy!!


 
That is very funny! 

He wanted to say: O-jiisan ni natte iru.
But he said: O-jiisan ni notte iru. 

That reminds me of a funny mistake I heard in Japan. There are several fixed expressions in Japanese. You cannot, however, alter them without greatly changing the meaning in most cases. 

"O-sewa ni narimashita" is a set expression you say to someone who has been kind to you or someone within your inner circle. 

Wanting to emphasize how kind someone was to him, a guy once said "ooki na sewa ni narimashita." "Ooki na" means "big." The phrase altogether means something like "I was a major pain in your a$$."


----------



## Bienvenidos

The other day I was transliterating something from Persian; my neighbor wants to learn Persian so I'm making flashcards for him, substituting one Farsi word in an English sentence. My friend Liz walked in the room as I was writing on my whiteboard:
*
I hope there is "barf" outside today.*

She was a little repulsed at first, but once I explained to her that "barf" is "snow" in Persian, she was alright.


----------



## almostfreebird

I was at an airport in Japan(my country) ready for going abroad(America) for the first time looking for adventure.
I was carrying a pretty heavy backpack(which I was not used to) on my back hanging around. I found a bench which didn't have a back to lean against and I thought to myself 'hey 
why not sit on it for a while' and I did. The next moment I found myself sprawling on my back on the floor like a turtle overturned. I could feel, hear and see people laughing over me lying like a stupid turtle. I was so embarrassed by the situation, but luckily enough just at the same time some of my friends who came to see me off found me and saved me laughing their flying ass off. I was glad it was not at a foreign airport. Since then I've never sat on a bench with a heavy stuff on my back.


----------



## Oculto04

This is not a joke ... it's true!! You can find this written in the maps (the big ones, the ones that are on the walls) in the Madrid subway:

"For more information it requests a plane of pocket in any ticket office of our network".

But for me the funniest thing is, apart of other grammatical mistakes, that if you ask for "a plane" they will for sure think "ah, un plano" and they will give you a map ... as expected.

No comment ...  :_-D


----------



## cas29

My husband and I moved to Italy, -- without any Italian skills !  What an adventure.

After about a year, during which we had made decent progress, we happened to go shopping.  In a kitchen shop we saw coffee mugs in the form of Warner Brother characters -- Daffy Duck, Wilie Cyote, Tweetie Bird, Sylvester the Cat... and the Road Runner!  

A road runner in Italian is a struzzo.
My husband picked up the mug (I was about 15 feet away) and he said (quite loudly)  "Look, STRONZO" (a fairly strong form of "jerk" let's say!)

I looked at him in surprise and said "No, No!!! STRUZZO!". 
He looked at me, looked at the mug, put it down and quickly walked out of the shop!

***
January 17 is the Festa di Sant'Antonio and in our area it is celebrated with bonfires.  The first year we were here, we were invited to one.
It was held at a local farmhouse and the bonfire contained all the rubbish that had been collected throughout the year. It was easily the size of a small house.

The next day, I was telling an Italian friend that I had participated in a bonfire.... a really huge one!  In fact, it was by far the biggest I'd ever seen.  Really ENORMOUS!  I was stunned!

My friend kept looking at me in a funny way as I told this story... and at the end, after a minute, he looked at me and said "ah!   falò!"
Me: "Yes, ... that's what I said!"
Friend" No, it isn't ...trust me.  Fal*ò"*
Me: "What did I say?"
Friend: "Never mind".

It took me a while to understand I'd spent about 10 minutes telling him about the biggest phalus (fallo) I'd ever seen.


----------



## texasweed

LOL! Did I already mention my mother's request to take a douche?
It's a false friend in French, meaning to take a shower... Nothing to do with a vaginal wash! Red as a beet she was upon learning what she had asked... I'ml still LMHO thinking about it!


----------



## frenchtranslater

I was writting a story about a man becoming crazy and I intended to describe him as: "First he was playing alone, then was talking to himself and finally fighting agains himself." However I said: "First, he _was playing with himself_, and finally was talking to himself, then was fighting against himself."

I haven't noticed my mistake until a teacher friend of mine pointed to me this mistake out. I was extremely embarassed, and didn't dare look at that friend for about two days.


----------



## jess oh seven

i went into a shop in Lisbon, Portugal looking for some batteries for my CD player. i didn't know the word for "batteries" so i took a stab at using the Spanish word, which is "pilas"... but, as i found out a few days later, "pila" in Portuguese means "penis". great! so i asked this dude for some penises. now i will never forget that "battery" is "pil*h*a" in Portuguese..


----------



## ziu

That's a good one, Jess ... but is the difference in pronunciation between "pila" and "pilha" sufficient enough that the guy wouldn't have any idea what you meant? (I speak Spanish but don't know anything about Portuguese so I haven't a clue).


----------



## cas29

jess oh seven said:


> i went into a shop in Lisbon, Portugal looking for some batteries for my CD player. i didn't know the word for "batteries" so i took a stab at using the Spanish word, which is "pilas"... but, as i found out a few days later, "pila" in Portuguese means "penis". great! so i asked this dude for some penises. now i will never forget that "battery" is "pil*h*a" in Portuguese..


 

I had electricians working on the circuit breaker in the house yesterday morning. There was light from the sun,but I thought maybe they needed more.  I meant to ask if they wanted a flashlight...(pilla) but instead I said "pillola" which means birth control pill!!!  Fortunately I noticed my mistake right away and corrected, ... they were very polite and didn't fall down laughing!


----------



## jess oh seven

ziu said:


> That's a good one, Jess ... but is the difference in pronunciation between "pila" and "pilha" sufficient enough that the guy wouldn't have any idea what you meant? (I speak Spanish but don't know anything about Portuguese so I haven't a clue).



in Portuguese the "lh" is like the Spanish "ll", so "pilha" is pronounced like "pilla" more or less. subtle, but it makes all the difference!


----------



## miss_mermelada

I was in the Netherlands and wanted to get myself something to eat, and I ordered in Dutch a sandwich, but instead of say "please" in Dutch I said "por favor" and the saleswoman was quite confused hehe  

And another time I had been to Spain for a week and spoke Spanish all the time and then I travelled back to Germany and also passed France. And when we stopped at a petrol station I wanted to ask if I can make a call there. But I got confused with French and Spanish and asked "Bonjour, est-ce que le téléphone funciona?" And I got an answer and said "Gra...eehh merci!"


----------



## Danc

An English friend of mine in France wanted to buy tobacco for his pipe and went into a bar/tabac.

To ensure he got pipe tobacco, and not cigarette tobacco, he said "je veux faire la pipe" (make a pipe) to the female sales assistant.   She smiled and asked him to repeat this louder, in front of the other customers who cracked up laughing.

Perhaps some French speaker can confirm, but I think "faire la pipe" means a "hand job" ?!


----------



## DearPrudence

He he, good one.  
"*faire une pipe*" is a "*give (?) a blow job*".
Stupid but it always makes people laugh.


----------



## Crescent

DearPrudence said:


> He he, good one.
> "*faire une pipe*" is a "*give (?) a blow job*".
> Stupid but it always makes people laugh.



 Well, I learnt something new today! Not that I will ever need to use this expression very often, but...

Danc, why didn't your friend just say: _Je voudrais le tabac pour un pipe au lieu de celui-ci pour les cigarettes_.?
Woudn't that have made things a lot less confusing and...embarassing for everyone? 

Well, my story didn't unfortunately happen in a foreign country (oh, maybe, thank god it didn't!) but once, in my French lesson, we were playing this game where we had to tell a story in the perfect tense, and we had to say ''je suis...'' or ''j'ai...'' but before we got to the past participle, we had to ''pass the relay stick on'' to the next person, and they completed the sentence with a past participle of their choise.
And it so happened that at one point, we somehow got onto the topic of Brad Pitt, and walking with him in the park, and when it was my turn, I wanted to make it as romantic as possible, and said: ''...et puis, il m'a acheté une glace, et après que je l'ai mangée, il _m'a baisé sur la bouche_!''

My teacher gasped and put her hand over her mouth, gave me a most awful look... And I didn't understand it either! I thought: What? I'm 17 not 7, I'm allowed to kiss boys (even Brad Pitt, who is like...40? ) aren't I?
  But honestly, reading Victor Hugo and 18th century literature in French, I had no idea what ''baiser'' meant in nowadays dilect.... 
When I found out (by her taking me out of the room and telling me....) I really wished the floorboards would open up and swallow me!!!!


----------



## Danc

Crescent said:


> Danc, why didn't your friend just say: _Je voudrais le tabac pour un pipe au lieu de celui-ci pour les cigarettes_.?
> Woudn't that have made things a lot less confusing and...embarassing for everyone?


 
Because he can't speak French!


----------



## Juan Carlos Garling

Even big-name companies can commit funny/embarrassing mistakes, as it happened to a well-known Japanese car manufacturer.

Mitsubishi named ‘*Pajero*’ a certain model of their 4WD line for export to Spain and Latin America. Only after arrival of the first imports did they realize that ‘*pajero*’ stands for ‘*masturbator*’ in popular usage in several countries such as Argentina, Uruguay, Peru and Chile, and they had to swallow their embarrasment and change name, emblems and service manuals to ‘*Montero*’ to continue their deliveries to certain countries, as potential customers refrained from buying their product.

This denotes how important it is to be aware of the connotation of words in different countries and to take care of adequate translation.


----------



## ameana7

Juan Carlos Garling said:


> Even big-name companies can commit funny/embarrassing mistakes, as it happened to a well-known Japanese car manufacturer.
> 
> Mitsubishi named ‘*Pajero*’ a certain model of their 4WD line for export to Spain and Latin America. Only after arrival of the first imports did they realize that ‘*pajero*’ stands for ‘*masturbator*’ in popular usage in several countries such as Argentina, Uruguay, Peru and Chile, and they had to swallow their embarrasment and change name, emblems and service manuals to ‘*Montero*’ to continue their deliveries to certain countries, as potential customers refrained from buying their product.
> 
> This denotes how important it is to be aware of the connotation of words in different countries and to take care of adequate translation.



It rings a bell. It is a really common example in marketing that General Motors once named a new model "nova", which in Spanish means "It doesn't go".   A really good choice for a car!  They changed the name immediately.


----------



## Juan Carlos Garling

ameana7 said:


> It rings a bell. It is a really common example in marketing that General Motors once named a new model "nova", which in Spanish means "It doesn't go".  A really good choice for a car!  They changed the name immediately.


 


I owned a Chevy Nova in the early '70s, which was then a popular car in Chile. To be frank, I had never heard about any misgivings because of its name. But you are right, ' no va' means 'it doesn't go' and the comment may have been applied ocasionally as a joke for a Chevy Nova that refused to start.


----------



## alahay

I wanted to make an order in a restaurant in Portugal and knowing that "pedir" means "to order" I said to the waiter: "eu pedo um peixe ..." (I fart a fish ...) instead of "eu peço um peixe..." (I want a fish ...) ... Moral of the story: Don't ever underestimate the importance of irregular verbs.


----------



## Lavinia.dNP

I have a funny mistake that happened to my mom when I was 2.

We had recently moved to France and my mom didn't speak French very well. Like every day, the cashier at the supermarket started making the usual compliments at me (I was just 2 years old, and cute then).
At that my mom answered "Mademoiselle, ne la baisez pas aujourd'hui, elle a été méchante", which litterally means "don't f**k her today, she's been naughty", but of course my mom meant : "don't kiss her today, she's been naughty". The usual confusion between "baiser" as a noun, which means kiss, and "baiser" as a verb, which means something else.
The worst part is that the lady didn't tell her anything, she just looked very embarassed.
It was only several months later than a friend explained my mom the real meaning of that word.

Otherwise, there is also "je vais me faire couper les chevaux" which litterally means "I'll go and have my horses cut"

chevaux = horses
cheveux = hair


----------



## Venezuelan_sweetie

This one's from early teenage...

The first time I walked into a *real life* McDonald's (I mean, a McD's crowded to the ceiling with English speaking people), I was* really* nervous. I didn't want to do anything that revealed how insecure I was about my English, much less embarrass myself in front of other teens around. My so very dear aunt forced me to order my own meal, "After all, you're learning English", she said.

Somehow I managed to order my meal without messing it up, which gave me a bit more of confidence. Once I finished my meal, patting myself on the back for not looking like a silly tourist child or anything, I asked to my aunt to go to the toilet on my own, and I'd reach her at the park lot later on. How bold of me! I walked out of it, in this matter-of-fact way you use when you're nervous but don't want to show it, reached the exit and self-confidently pulled the door, just as I'd do in my usual McD's back in town... but it didn't open. 

"_Oh my, it's stuck!!_" I thought (in Spanish, obviously  ), and I energically pulled again... nothing. "_Gosh, this thing just won't open!!_", and pulled again, getting all nervous, completely losing my mind... "_Auntie...?_", I shook the door again... Really scary! Then, a cute blondie walked to me, with that mocking smile up on her face, saying something I didn't understand, and pointing to this huge "PUSH" sign on the door (which of course I hadn't seen before). I looked at her, not knowing what to do, so she said, almost screaming at the top of her lungs, "See, PUUUUUSHHH!!!!", and pushed the door, laughing her eyes off (just as the rest of the crowd in there)... Needless to say, I didn't have another french fry in the next two months! 

PS: Got it by email from a (now) American citizen.


----------



## Juan Carlos Garling

In Argentina (I believe also Spain) it is usual to call 'pico' an undetermined small amount above a certain quantity. So you may say 'Diez dólares y pico' to mean 'A bit more than ten dollars'.

In Chile 'pico' means 'penis' in popular usage.

Two Argentine tourists stood at opposite ends of a roulette table at the casino in Viña del Mar, a Summer resort on the coast. Short before closing time one asked the other over the table :

- How are you doing? _¿Cómo te fue?_
- Well, I made somewhat more than 50 dollars. _Hice 50 dolares y pico._
- OK, then keep those 50 dollars, gamble away the rest and let's go.
_Bueno, guardate los 50 dólares, jugate el 'pico' y nos vamos._

People at the table could not decide whether to smile or politely pretend that they had not overheard the short dialogue.


----------



## Noedatorre

Confirmed! 
Here in Spain we use "pico" with the same meaning than in Argentina...so it's good to know these details...just in case if I ever go to Chile.

Try to imagine me (a woman) saying something like:
- Pues apostaré 20 dólares y guardaré el 'pico' para luego, que me hace falta...


----------



## geve

Yesterday I asked the participants of the French class where I volunteer *"Quel est l'adjectif pour quelqu'un qui a beaucoup de rides ? Il est ... ?"* (= What's the adjective for someone who has many wrinkles?) 
*"Il est rideau"*, they said.

("rideau" = curtain / "ridé" = wrinkled. Incidentally, "rideau" can mean figuratively "end of story", but not as an adjective for a person though, thank god!)


----------



## Antpax

Juan Carlos Garling said:


> Even big-name companies can commit funny/embarrassing mistakes, as it happened to a well-known Japanese car manufacturer.
> 
> Mitsubishi named ‘*Pajero*’ a certain model of their 4WD line for export to Spain and Latin America. Only after arrival of the first imports did they realize that ‘*pajero*’ stands for ‘*masturbator*’ in popular usage in several countries such as Argentina, Uruguay, Peru and Chile, and they had to swallow their embarrasment and change name, emblems and service manuals to ‘*Montero*’ to continue their deliveries to certain countries, as potential customers refrained from buying their product.
> 
> This denotes how important it is to be aware of the connotation of words in different countries and to take care of adequate translation.


 
But it seems they have not learned anything, since I´ve heard that Mazda is launching its new model as "Mazda Laputa" 

(Laputa = The whore)

Cheers.

Ant


----------



## Porteño

In Spanish, the word 'saco' means jacket, but in Brazilian Portuguese it is slang for 'testicles'. having recently taken up residence in Brazil but with my Portuguese at elementary level, I tended to mix the two languages. Imagine my surprise when, having asked the hotel receptionist to 'madar mi saco a la tinturaria,' (send my jacket to the dry cleaner's), he looked at me and with an absolutely straight face and said, 'Well, I think that might be a little difficult,' while those within earshot cracked up in hysterics! He then explained the term to me.


----------



## iamintorapturestologin

One co-worker said to one customer that the operation "has been cursed" thinking in the Spanish "cursada" not realizing at the time that he was saying "maldita".

I have made myself too many. After many years studying English I said: How many years do you have?


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## tstebbens

The first time I went to Mexico I went out to a night club with friends and ended up telling a girl I'd just met "estoy caliente" instead of "tengo calor" ("I'm horny" instead of "I'm hot".) I knew I'd said the wrong thing (or right depending on how you look at it!) pretty much immediately but it took her 10 minutes to stop laughing and tell me what I'd said wrong!

A couple of years later after having been living in Mexico for the last two years and getting used to Mexican Spanish and Mexican names for various items, I found myself in a restaurant in Argentina on a business trip. When the waiter asked me what I wanted for dessert I replied "flan con cajeta" which is a popular dessert in Mexico. The waiter simply smiled and said "the flan I can bring you, but the cajeta may take a little longer."


----------



## CiegoEnamorado

Perhaps I am simultaneously fortunate and unfortunate as I have never made any funny or embarrassing mistakes overseas, but I have in speaking to people overseas in their native tongues.

Talking to an old friend who lived in Mexico after I had been studying Spanish for a little more than a year and a half, I decided to relate to her my day in as much Spanish as possible. I told her that my friend (amiga) was feeling quite sad, so I tried to do whatever I could to make her happy. I don't even know why I thought that this was right, but I said "Le puse feliz a mi amiga." She died laughing and I couldn't figure out why, until she later explained that I ended up saying that I said I had happily shagged her instead of made her happy.  

Another time, when I was in Kamakura with my mother and brother, we had to take a local train to see the Great Buddha, but we forgot to pay because we'd bought an unlimited JR pass with our package. We got used to flashing it at the people working behind the counters to the entrance that we did that, but one of the women working there freaked out at us, screaming, "YOU TYPE IT IN!" My mom had already gone running off so I went chasing after her... I informed her later that we had to pay on the way back, which we did, and on the way back we passed through the same counter and showed the ticket to the same woman. She burst out laughing and reimbursed us the money. Apparently, we had paid too much for the ticket.

Finally, in Tokyo, when we were at the Pokémon center, my brother was buying a keychain and didn't understand that you had to place the money in the tray at the counter instead of handing it directly to the cashier, which he did, and caused her to turn bright red in embarrassment. He felt horrible afterwards.


----------



## Antupiren

I have quite a few Spanish friends who almost suffered a stroke when first arriving in Chile.  Right in front the main airport exit door you can a find a huge ad that reads "LA POLLA TE HACE FELIZ, Play Polla", (Polla makes you happy, juega a la Polla), referring to one of our two lottery games (Polla Chilena de Beneficiencia).  In Spain, "polla", which literary means a female chicken, has quite a different connotation.


----------



## panjabigator

The other day in Catalan class I said something like "Who do you like to do" instead of "what do you like to do."  The class was dead silent and the teacher just stared at me.  I wanted to die.


----------



## sound shift

This must have been embarrassing for the teachers involved:-

In today's "The Guardian" there's an article about a certain Harry Bernstein, who at the age of eleven emigrated from Stockport, in the North-West of England, to Chicago. There, he was put in a school for speakers of languages other than English. It took the young Harry three days to convince the school that English was his mother tongue. 

It seems implausible, but it's on "The Guardian"s website.


----------



## izabella

This goes back to the time I was in the last year of high school..

It was the “week of professions” in my school, so different people came and explained about their jobs to the students. Anyways, we were in the biology lab and two biologists came in to talk to us about biology. The one that was supposed to talk to us was a man with a very heavy German accent. So after talking for about ten minutes, he looked at the class and literally yelled “This is very important for your future! So I want you all to f*** us  now!” 
(he meant to say focus but f*** us was what we all heard)
So there was a silence and a few dropped jaws and he goes “Does anyone have a question?” and the class just busted into laughter. The teacher who was a relatively young women turned purple!


----------



## Bienvenidos

This is a funny one, happened this morning. 

My friend, a native Spanish speaker, is taking beginner Persian lessons at a local university, so we always switch between English and Spanish and Persian...we were going out for brunch this morning and I told her to "¡Dáte prisa!" aka "Hurry up!" She looked at me and said, in Persian, "Yug baka!" 

What's so funny?

In Persian, 

Yug *b*aka  means one frog and
Yug *d*aka means one minute.
I guess she was trying to say wait a minute, but what she ended up saying was "a frog." Either way, it got my attention!


----------



## BabyGirl301

GenJen54 said:


> Like Ratona, my own mistakes seem to have escaped my memory!
> 
> However, there is one in particular which always gives me a tickle - and it occurred between people who thought they spoke the "same" language - English.
> 
> When I was studying in France I was grouped in a class with several other American students, as well as students from Great Britain. We were in the midst of a test when one of the British students spoke out: "Has anyone got a rubber?" A collective gasp, then hushed giggling could be heard from all of the American students, for no one understood why anyone might need a rubber in the middle of a test. As it turns out, in British English, rubber = eraser. In American English, rubber = condom.
> 
> We language learners are not the only ones with this type of problem. One of the most notable examples of poor cross-cultural marketing was when the GM corporation once tried to market the Chevy Nova, a small compact car popular in the 1970s across US borders in Mexico.
> 
> The car was an immediate flop.
> 
> Apparently, their research team failed to recognize that while "Nova" might mean "star" in English, in Spanish, it simply means "no go."
> 
> _Edit_: After seeing NYC's post below, I concede I should have done my own research on the subject...although confess to actually having learned that while at college. Perhaps I should ask for a dollar or two back!


 


Actually it would have to be two seperate words..."no va" and would mean he/she is not going


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## BabyGirl301

When I first started learning spanish I made an intresting mistake.  All the cooks I work with are from Guatemala or Mexico and don't speak english all that well...so I was trying to make an attempt to speak spanish.  Anyways I needed some garlic bread for one of my customers and yelled loudly "Me das pendejo por favor" (give me dumbass please) I had meant to say " Me das pan de ajo por favor" (Give me garlic bread please) Even though I speak Spanish much better now, they all still tease me about that.


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## Juan Carlos Garling

BabyGirl301 said:


> We language learners are not the only ones with this type of problem. One of the most notable examples of poor cross-cultural marketing was when the GM corporation once tried to market the Chevy Nova, a small compact car popular in the 1970s across US borders in Mexico.
> 
> The car was an immediate flop.
> 
> Apparently, their research team failed to recognize that while "Nova" might mean "star" in English, in Spanish, it simply means "no go."


 
Same happened to Mitsubishi when they named '*Pajero' *one of their 4x4 models for export to Southamerica. After arrival of the first imports they learned that *pajero* is slang for *masturbator *in several countries and had to change name, emblems and service manuals to '*Montero'* as prospective customers refused to buy their product.


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## Grefsen

On the very first day of my first-ever trip to Norway I went out to lunch in Oslo with a group of Norwegian friends that I had met while I was in graduate school.  I had taken a six week Norwegian course before leaving for Europe and so when I was asked if I had enough to eat I thought I would show off and reply in Norwegian.  Since I knew how to say "I am" in Norwegian (Jeg er), I replied "Jeg er full" thinking it would be understood that I was "full of food."  When everyone at the table started laughing I realized that I had just made my first  major Norwegian "faux pas."   It turned out that "Jeg er full" in Norwegian actually means "I am drunk."


----------



## Chevaux

ok, I have a couple

1. (from my french teacher) Mme. B (the teacher) had a friend who was originally from France living with her and one other girl while they were in college together. Appearently the French girl and the other roomate did not get along because one day she storms into Mme. B's room and says "that woman makes me so angry! I 'ate her". Mme. B. always uses this story to explain the difference in the pronunciation of the letter h.

2. Second year of French. It was the day after Valentines Day and we had just learned how to say I love it , I love you, etc (Je l'aime, Je t'aime). The boy who sat in front of me was admiring a dress from Senegal that my teacher had brought in (this is a differnt French teacher: Mme D). Matt  looked up at the teacher and said "Je t'aime". Mme. D smiled while those of us with a better grasp on the language snickered. she said "Well, I like you too, Matt, but I'm not sure thats appropriate". The best part was that it took him several minutes to figure out what he had said. (he meant to say Je l'aime (I like it) instead he said Je t'aime (often used as I love you)).

3. Mme. B told us that we were going to watch a movie in French for the last couple of days before spring break. I (known for using english words when I dont know the French equivalent (basically fluent in Franglais)) wanted to say "I am excited". I didnt know the word for excited in French so I used the English one and made it sound as French as I could. I said "Je suis excite!". Mme B blushed and told me never to say that again. (apparently it does not mean 'I am excied' but 'I am sexually aroused')

4. I missed the first day of our new chapter, which was going over words in the bathroom. When I got back to school, I found on the board the following: "J'ai besoin de prendre un douche", written by a classmate of mine. I knew every other word but douche, and I blushed and giggled and carried on (assuming that douch menat the same in French as it does in English) until Mme D told me the meaning. (Douche in French is 'shower' a douche in English is a feminine product)

5. I recently took up spanish. When I am in the foreign language mind-set, I tend to lean towards French, and it often comes out in my Spanish. My teacher asked me to say 'I speak English' in Spanish and I replied "Yo parlo l'englais". Luckily, she is very understanding. 

the sad part is I get French congations mixed up with Spanish verbs all the time, and visa versa. I suppose you could say I speak Frenglish? (French/English/Spanish)


----------



## Lavinia.dNP

Grefsen said:


> On the very first day of my first-ever trip to Norway I went out to lunch in Oslo with a group of Norwegian friends that I had met while I was in graduate school. I had taken a six week Norwegian course before leaving for Europe and so when I was asked if I had enough to eat I thought I would show off and reply in Norwegian. Since I knew how to say "I am" in Norwegian (Jeg er), I replied "Jeg er full" thinking it would be understood that I was "full of food." When everyone at the table started laughing I realized that I had just made my first major Norwegian "faux pas."  It turned out that "Jeg er full" in Norwegian actually means "I am drunk."


 
An Italian friend of mine made the same mistake in France : she said "je suis pleine", which means "I'm drunk", but also "I'm pregnant".


----------



## panjabigator

Just like "embarazada" and "tener vergüenza."


----------



## momax

My daughter was in a first grade bilingual class of a very nice man who had learned spanish as adult  .  Though most of the time his spanish was pretty good, one day he sent a note home to let the spanish speaking parents know of the progress of their students. I received one as well.
The note said
     "Si su hijo(a) no a logrado pasar el nivel 4 de lectura para este tiempo, su hijo(a) esta retrasado."
In Mexico, retrasado mental means mentally retarded. _( If your child is not at level 4 in reading by now, your child is retarded!) 
_
 Apparently, he took the expression _el camion viene retrasado, _ the bus is running behind, and thought he could use it in that context.


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## Hakro

Lavinia.dNP said:


> An Italian friend of mine made the same mistake in France : she said "je suis pleine", which means "I'm drunk", but also "I'm pregnant".


Another mistake is to say "j'en ai assez" or "j'en ai marre" (you may find these in your dictionary). 

So what's the right way to say it?


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## Nanon

A French / Russian one.
A Russian friend of mine wanted to buy some meringues that looked particularly delicious... The Russian word for "meringue" is "безе" /beze/, borrowed from French probably because this pastry is "sweet as a kiss".
She asked for the meringues saying "Je veux baiser"  and of course she did not get what she wanted. In fact, she did not get anything. So she insisted and the only reply was an awkward silence. Everybody was looking at her. My friend was beginning to get angry, so she showed the meringues with her hand, yelling: "JE VEUX BAISER, LA, DANS LA VITRINE" (by the window)  !!!


----------



## momax

Nanon,
what does it mean in english?


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## DearPrudence

He he, so funny! And you didn't even stop her!   

In French, "*un baiser*" is "*a kiss*"
But the verv "*baiser*" means "*to f**k*"  

So, "*je veux baiser*": "*I want to f**k*"
"*je veux baiser, là, dans la vitrine*": "*I want to f**k, right here, in the show/ (shop) window*" (argh, I don't really know how to translate that "vitrine"  )


----------



## Nanon

DearPrudence, I couln't stop her because I wasn't there, she told me afterwards!
So yes, what she said sounded like she wanted to f*** right there close to the window so that everybody could see her!


----------



## Cherubino

Fantastic thread, I've had many laughs reading everyone's stories 

Last summer, I was eating at a restaurant in Munich, and had to use the restroom. Summoning up the basic German phrases that I'd memorized just for this trip, I asked a passing waitress "Wer ist die Toilette", hoping that she'd tell me where it was. Apparently I'd said something funny, for she started laughing. Then she showed me the way. It wasn't until much later that I learnt from a close friend that I'd said "*Who* is the toilet", not "where".


----------



## Porteño

tstebbens #358 reminds me of my visit to Argentina. I had been travelling down the west coast of South America for several months and was reasonable confident with Spanish, at least as far eating out was concerned. While in Lima I had become particularly fond of a starter known there as 'conchita a la Parmesana'. Imagine my surprise therefore, having asked the waiter at '_La Emiliana_' (now closed, but at that time considered to be one of the best restaurants in Buenos Aires) if they had such a delicacy. He smiled at me indulgently, as only '_Porteños_' can, and replied. 'I'm afraid not, sir, but it would be truly delicious'!


----------



## panjabigator

Porteño said:


> tstebbens #358 reminds me of my visit to Argentina. I had been travelling down the west coast of South America for several months and was reasonable confident with Spanish, at least as far eating out was concerned. While in Lima I had become particularly fond of a starter known there as 'conchita a la Parmesana'. Imagine my surprise therefore, having asked the waiter at '_La Emiliana_' (now closed, but at that time considered to be one of the best restaurants in Buenos Aires) if they had such a delicacy. He smiled at me indulgently, as only '_Porteños_' can, and replied. 'I'm afraid not, sir, but it would be truly delicious'!



I don't really get the punch line here....


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## Porteño

Dear´panjabigator, 'conchita' is an Argentine slang diminutive for 'vagina'.


----------



## panjabigator

Porteño said:


> Dear´panjabigator, 'conchita' is an Argentine slang diminutive for 'vagina'.



Ah, I see!  Well then...at least you didn't ask for it at the dinner table!

I was asking my father about something in the garden, and I inadvertantly said a pretty bad vulgarity instead of the word for chickpea.  I didn't even know the vulgarity before.


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## Porteño

panjabigator said:


> Ah, I see! Well then...at least you didn't ask for it at the dinner table!


 
But that's precisely what I did!


----------



## Lillita

One day, a friend of mine was stopped on the street by an elderly Spanish couple. They were looking for a fast food restaurant and were extremely happy about finally finding someone who spoke (some) Spanish. My friend was happy, too because finally she was able to make a good use of her Spanish studies and with an ear-to-ear smile on her face she said:
_"Sigan ustedes todo recto hasta la primera *bocadillo*."_​Well, she meant to say, of course, _"Go straight ahead till the next intersection."_ However, what she actually said was:
_Go straight ahead till the next *sandwich*._  ​*bocadillo* -- _sandwich_
*bocacalle* -- _intersection_


After this experiment, she never used the word _"bocadillo"_ again and once she ordered a _"sandwich de *jabón*"_ instead of a _"sandwich de *jamón*"_.  

*jabón* -- _soap_
*jamón* -- _ham_

Poor girl! She has bad luck with sandwiches...


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## dtcarney

One of my Spanish speaking coworkers had a pretty good joke at our wharehouse.   He  asked  one of the part time workers (highschool age) who studies Spanish.  He asked the part-timer how you would say "I want to see gas" in Spanish.  Gas is gas as far as the joke goes and being the youngin the part-timer was he didn't think about what it would translate to.  So the part-timer said it and we were almost crying from laughing so hard.

I want to see gas.
Quiero ver gas.  (say it fast)


----------



## Musical Chairs

Hmmm...this wasn't me, but it was my mom. We went to Paris a few years ago and since my mom loves trying to speak whatever they speak where we go, she tried to ask for water (l'eau). She kept saying it "ooh" (as in "ooh la la") and the waitress just couldn't get it (with this really confused look on her face).

In Italy, there was a nun who tolerated my mom's attempts at speaking Italian and I think she was really patient. My mom kept saying things like "it is raining" in Italian when the nun kept pointing outside and saying "Arno" (the river).


----------



## stella_maris_74

Back at the times when I was taking my basic German lessons, I went to spend a couple of weeks in Bremen, staying at some german fellow students' place.
My german back then was *worse than* basic, and I had a hard time during conversations (so did my listeners...). Anyway, one day I was talking with one of these guys, and he had just told me about a supposedly great party that we all were expecting but that was suddenly cancelled. 
To show my disappointment, I kept on saying: "Oh, Scheide... Scheide..." much to his embarassed astonishment 

(in German: Scheide = vagina | Schade! = Pity!)

---

And more to genitalia-related blunders, one day during an English class at University, our teacher was teaching us some English idioms: she named one, and we students had to guess what Italian idiom it would correspond to.
When she said: "Tom, Dick and Harry", I proudly stood up and hollered: "Tizio, *Caz*o* e Sempronio!" instead of "Tizio, *Caio *e Sempronio".
That was just a slip of the tongue on my part, but all the more fun if you notice that "dick" in Italian is exactly "caz*o" when it means the male organ...

Ciao 

dani


----------



## Joca

This happened not in a foreign country, but in my own country. Many years ago, when I was still a young man, poor at languages and little experienced in women. I was serving as a cicerone for two French girls, showing them points of interest in Rio de Janeiro. The first time I had brought my girl-friend along, but the second time I had come alone because she had fallen ill.

As they saw me arriving without my companion, one of the French girls promptly asked, after the initial greeting: "Mais où est votre copine?" (But where is your girl-friend?)

I told her: "She couldn't come because she is constipated (constipée in French)". Both girls looked at each other and started to laugh. I was at a loss as to what was going on. 

Then the same girl, seeing my embarrassment, went on to explain:"Do you really mean 'constipée'? This means that your girl-friend can't...." I will spare you her explanation. Only then did I realize my mistake: I had been carried away by a false friend. The same word in Portuguese "constipado" can be used as a synonym with "having a cold" and that was what I had in mind: my girl-friend had a bad cold, she was not really constipated.

Of course, had she been constipated, I wouldn't have said so in public.


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## DearPrudence

Just two that comes to my mind:
I mispronounced "pens" that sounded like "pants" (giggle from teenagers  )
And then, I just wanted to mention that one of the symbols of France was that animal. Well, in French, it's a "coq", why shouldn't I say "a cock" then? And so I kept repeating that word and I didn't understand why they were all laughing  Now I know what it means and I know I won't forget it


----------



## Bilma

DearPrudence said:


> And then, I just wanted to mention that one of the symbols of France was that animal. Well, in French, it's a "coq", why shouldn't I say "a cock" then? And so I kept repeating that word and I didn't understand why they were all laughing  Now I know what it means and I know I won't forget it


 

Same problem with coke....


----------



## Athaulf

Several months ago -- which means after 15 years of learning English and over 3 years of living in an English-speaking country -- I realized that "b" in "debt" is not pronounced at all. The interesting thing is that not only was I pronouncing the word with a clear, loud "b" all this time, but I also hallucinated that "b" whenever I would hear the word pronounced by native speakers. However, once I stopped expecting to hear this "b," I also stopped hallucinating it. 

Interestingly, I discussed this recently with a friend whose native language (Turkish) is based on a nearly phonetic alphabet, similar to mine, and apparently he has been hallucinating this "b" just like me. 

I wonder what scientists studying human perception might make out of this experience.


----------



## Brioche

Athaulf said:


> Several months ago -- which means after 15 years of learning English and over 3 years of living in an English-speaking country -- I realized that "b" in "debt" is not pronounced at all. The interesting thing is that not only was I pronouncing the word with a clear, loud "b" all this time, but I also hallucinated that "b" whenever I would hear the word pronounced by native speakers. However, once I stopped expecting to hear this "b," I also stopped hallucinating it.



You will hear the b in debit, debits, debiting and debited.

The b in debt was added by some Latinate "improver" of the language. The word came to English from the Old French _dette_.

It's a similar story with the silent b in doubt.


----------



## Athaulf

Brioche said:


> You will hear the b in debit, debits, debiting and debited.
> 
> The b in debt was added by some Latinate "improver" of the language. The word came to English from the Old French _dette_.



Yes, I am aware of this story of this word; in fact, my revelation came when I read about the exact history of the word a few months ago. Curiously, another letter that I often hallucinate is a "d" between "n" and "l" in _suddenly_. Whenever I type this word, I have to restrain myself from typing _sudden*d*ly_. 

I remembered another funny incident with English in the meantime. When I came to Canada a few years ago, I was entirely unaware that _ho_ is a modern AAVE slang term for _whore_. Before that, back home in Croatia, I would sometimes say a line from some song or movie in English in a casually joking way appropriate to the situation -- and one of the lines I occasionally used was the chorus of an ancient Ramones song that goes "Hey ho, let's go!"   Of course, _ho_ is used in this song only as an exclamation similar to _hey_, and I wasn't aware of the additional meaning that this word had acquired since. So on a few occasions, I jokingly used this phrase instead of just plainly saying  "let's go." To make things even funnier, I was enlightened only when I said this to my Canadian ex-girlfriend; I'll leave it to you to imagine the reaction.


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## alexacohen

I was waiting at the airport terminal for my friend to arrive from Thailand. She likes to be inmaculately made up at all times.
As soon as she saw me, she shouted at the top of her voice:
¡Este viaje tan largo ha destrozado los porros!
She meant:
This long trip has made my pores look terrible!
But she said:
This long trip has destroyed the drugs! 
Three hours waiting while she and her luggage were searched by the police........
*poros*: pores
*porros*: hashish cigarettes


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## volky

In spanish, is poros, not porros.

In Puerto Rico we say jugo de china, instead of jugo de naranja (orange juice). 

Well, I was in Venezuela and went to a chinesse restaurant and asked for jugo de china. You can imagine the face of the chinesse man. (a chinesse female is china in spanish).

He thought I was asking for the juice of a chinesse lady.


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## Brioche

Athaulf said:


> I remembered another funny incident with English in the meantime. When I came to Canada a few years ago, I was entirely unaware that _ho_ is a modern AAVE slang term for _whore_. Before that, back home in Croatia, I would sometimes say a line from some song or movie in English in a casually joking way appropriate to the situation -- and one of the lines I occasionally used was the chorus of an ancient Ramones song that goes "Hey ho, let's go!"   Of course, _ho_ is used in this song only as an exclamation similar to _hey_, and I wasn't aware of the additional meaning that this word had acquired since.



So what were the Seven Dwarfs really saying, when they sang "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go." in the film Snow White?


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## Chaska Ñawi

Moderator Note:  This really should be deleted as chat and off topic, but it's just too funny ......


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## vickey

Me acabo de acordar de una anécdota muuy divertidaaa xD
En un restorán suño, aquí en Chile, el menú estaba traducido al inglés...¡pero qué traducción! 

Papas duquesa = Pope duchess
y
Róbalo a la plancha = Steal it to the iron!

Me sigo riendo, hasta el día de hoy..


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## Anju

My student said:

- There are lots of shops in London where you can get frozen.... things to eat?
- Frozen food - I help.
- Ok. So he went to the store every day and bought frozen foot.

I couldn't catch my breath for a long while...


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## Vagabond

Didn't read the entire thread, but I wonder if anyone else ever went over to the barman to ask for an _ass_tray instead of an ashtray...


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## Sancho Panza

mirandolina said:


> I believe that is one of the reasons why the Mitsubishi Pajero does not sell well in South America..... !


 
In Spain is actually renamed "montero"


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## Sancho Panza

Bienvenidos said:


> Ranchuelo, ¿de cuál país esta "zumo"? Nunca lo he oído. Por lo general, digo "jugo de naranja".
> 
> Muchas Gracias.
> 
> *Bienvenidos*


 

En españa decimos zumo


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## Sancho Panza

Oh, discovering this thread was very bad... the parents of my flatemate are here and they've been hearing me laughing crazyly for one hour! I think now they are sure I'm crazy!!!

Well, my stories...
My parents are from the west of Spain, so when my parents moved more than 30 years ago to Catalunya they had no clue about catalan (just in case, in Catalunya we speak catalan besides spanish). My mother wanted to buy meat, so she asked a friend for a good place and went there. She was very shocked by the fact that the shop was called "Tocineria" (in spanish tocino means the fat from the pig, so it would be like "pig-fat's shop"). But as her friend had recomended the shop, she decided to enter anyway...
Next funny thing happened when my mum asked for some meat. The lady replied that they hadn't it because "hoy somos miércoles y hemos muerto ayer"... My mother got completely confused, as for her that sentence meant "We are Wednesday and we died yesterday". 
The whole explanation is: Tocineria--> tocino in catalan is just pig, not fat. In catalan you say "we'r that day" instead of "today is...", and to say that you've killed the animals, you say the verb like if it was you who died... (well, thats not a clear explanation, but its pretty difficult  i will be happy to recive corrections).

Another funny story, but this one just with spanish-spanish in Spain but again with people from different regions happened to a friend of my mom. SHe came from Madrid to live in Barcelona, and one day wanted to ask for a kind of baguette, a "barra de cuarto", that in Madrid are called "pistolas" (guns). So you can imagine the face of the woman at the bakery's when a lady asked her "give me two guns, please"... 

This one happened to me. Now im living as Erasmus student in Reykjavík. We speak mostly in English (as almost non of us is really able to keep a conversation in Icelandic), but most of us are native speakers of other languages. Once I asked for help to one of my French friends with my Icelandic homework, as her level is much higher. I was writign a story about a very mean capitain of a futuristic space ship who was very angry, but as she is french and doesnt pronunce the h of hungry and i, as spanish, sometimes forget to pronunce different the "a" and the "u" of these two words, she got "hungry", so suddenly my capitain was hungry. I just found it one week later, and as i kept writing the same story for my homework i had to make him beeing very hungry when getting angry to make the story have some kind of logic...
The best thing is that the teacher never got confused by this strange character i was writing about!! 

A cousin of my cousins, very fond of football (soccer), was watching some football while at our place in the catalan tv. After more than half of the match he asked what "cama" (bed in spanish) meant, as he couldnt imagine why they were talking the whole time about beds in the match... In catalan cama just means "leg", what makes little bit more sense 

Well, i have many more, what this would be too long


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## linguist786

An *Urdu* one:

A very funny one which cracked me up was an *Urdu* one where a guy went to Pakistan. He was chitchatting with a group of innocent Pakistanis and was trying to say "you people jump (get excited)" and said: *aap log kutte hain!* which means "you (people) are dogs!"

(To say what he wanted to say, you'd have to make sure you separated the "d" and" "t": *aap log kudte hain*)


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## Fantasmagórico

My Uruguayan ex-girlfriend once made an awful mistake in Venezuela, when she wanted a straw for drinking her soda. Instead of using the Venezuelan word for straw (which is "pitillo"), she used the Uruguayan equivalent: "pajita". The bartender somehow understood what she wanted, and gave it to her with a big grin in his face. Later, I had to tell her that she had asked for a little fingering


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## texasweed

Did I mention looking for the beach? Once in connecticut... I knew I wasn't far and asked as I did not know which direction to take. Only I didn't know how to pronounce the word yet. "S'cuse me ma'am, where's the bi***" Eyes popped out, she passed her way without answering. 

Then there was this actractive chocolate ice cream. 
"Cho*co*late please"
"Heu?" 
"Erg, choco*la*te?"
"HEU?"
"Alright, do you have pista*chio*?"
"HEU?"
"Vanilla?"
Good bye *choc*'late! A frog eating French vanilla ice-cream in the States, beat that!


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## Salmantina

Hello,

I have three examples that to my opinion are worth mentioning here (and they´re all mistakes made by the _Dutch)._

1. A Dutch girl went to Salamanca (Spain) to study Spanish. One day she went to the butchers´ to buy chicken (_pollo _in Spanish). However, she didn´t _ask_  for _pollo, _instead she asked for _polla _(the popular Spanish word to refer to a man´s vital part).

2. A group of Dutch student´s were in Salamanca, studying Spanish (again). One day they came into class all covered with bruises. The teacher asked them what had happened, and this is what had occurred: the night before they went out and they met a group of Spanish youngsters. These asked them where they were from. They replied they were from Holland. Then the Spanish said _De Puta Madre!. _This means "great" or "cool" or something like that in Spanish popular language. However, it looks very much like a commonly used insult in Spanish: _Hijo de puta _(son of a ***). Therefore the Dutch got confused and started a fight..... The next morning they learned, however, that they hadn´t been insulted.

3. In Holland we are always soooo proud of our English. Therefore, to make fun of us, someone put the most stupid mistakes in English made by Dutch people together and published them (unfortunately I forgot the name of the book). This is one of them: A Dutch bussinessman wanted to ask his english-speaking client how he was doing, and he asked him: "How do you do and how do you do your wife?" (which is more or less a literal translation of how it would be said in Dutch)

Well, I hope you al were able to have a good laugh about us  . I always say that we do have the tendency to be a little arrogant. Therefore I wanted to show that some of us _still _are capable of some self-mockery.

BYE BYE


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## daisymax

A few years ago I was living in Glasgow and often went to play pool with friends. 
We had one friend who was keen to learn French and would take any opportunity to learn and practice, even though he often had trouble with pronunciation. 
Anyway, one day we were playing pool, and he asked my French boyfriend how to say "nice shot". We told him that you could say "joli coup". 
It was my turn to play, so I leaned over the table and potted the ball, only to hear my friend proclaim loudly and oh-so-proudly, while I was still leaning over the table, "Ah, joli cul!" (=nice ass!)


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## worldwanderer

A few weeks ago I was waiting to receive some video footage from Ivory Coast on the recent peace agreement there. Normally the person who films needs to send us a description of the video, image by image, which we call a shotlist (just to help us understand what they have filmed). The wonderfully helpful and lovely Ivorian cameraman thought he was doing me a favour in translating this shotlist from French into English for me, to save me time. Part of it went like this:


21. KONATE SIRIKE AND BLE GOUDE HAND UP GREET THE CROW
22. CROW HAPPY
23. BLE GOUDE FLYING THE DOVE


After I collected myself off the floor, I tried to imagine what could have been they were trying to describe. I wasn't able to get through to Ivory Coast on the phone, to clarify. I knew that the peace rally was taking place in a stadium, I kept wondering what role did the happy crow play in the whole affair.... After a long 5 minutes I realised he had meant the crowd that was happy (cheering)! I was right... and of course, Ble Goude was only releasing the poor dove...


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## Brioche

daisymax said:


> A few years ago I was living in Glasgow and often went to play pool with friends.
> We had one friend who was keen to learn French and would take any opportunity to learn and practice, even though he often had trouble with pronunciation.
> Anyway, one day we were playing pool, and he asked my French boyfriend how to say "nice shot". We told him that you could say "joli coup".
> It was my turn to play, so I leaned over the table and potted the ball, only to hear my friend proclaim loudly and oh-so-proudly, while I was still leaning over the table, "Ah, joli cul!" (=nice ass!)



In a similar vein, a student in my daughter's French class caused amusement by saying "merci beau cul" instead of "merci beaucoup".


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## worldwanderer

And another one, this time my own, and very embarrassing...

I was trying to suggest in an email to one of my younger colleagues, who was learning how to film and who always seemed to extend the tripod to its maximum hight, that at times it's worth lowering the tripod all the way down, to get the better-looking low angles. 

This is what I wrote:
"pour cettes angles, il faut baiser le trepied au maximum."

That's how I learnt the verb "baiser" (vs "baisser")  - My (French) boss was kind enough to point out it's not nice to give sexual advice to strangers..., and that when in doubt "descendre"could always work...


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## jlc246

Many years ago, another girl and I spent a semester living with my older sister in England. We were in the 5th form at a local school. At the time, there was a very popular haircut known in American English as a shag. One day, my friend said to a male friend who had rather long but untidy hair, "Robert, you really ought to get a shag." From the startled looks followed by roars of laughter around the lunch table, we knew she'd stumbled on another difference in AE/BE slang, but we had no clue what it meant. When Robert stopped turning bright red and said, with great presence of mind, "Are you volunteering?" we began to figure it out. (My friend was very cute and popular.) Then it was our turn to collapse in embarassed laughter.


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## victoria1

Portuguese/English
Hi
This reminds me of the time I was learning Portuguese. So many words resemble French that I started being very brazen in coming up with translations. Went to see the Dr and told him I was suffering from "constipacao" meaning belly ache, "constipation" in French and he gave me medications for a cold!!!!
So now I'm more careful when coming up with translation of words finishing with "cao"!


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

This one is quite recent.

I was trying to teach my friend some verb endings in English the other day (e.g. illustr-ate). At one point, she got stuck, so I decided to give her some 'extra help' for brainstorming and played a song that has lots of examples of that: "Inside", by Sting.

Part of the song goes like: "Annihilate me, infiltrate me, incinerate me, accelerate me, mutilate me...", in the middle of which I told her: "now, you give me examples with other verbs, quickly, quickly!"...

She came up with three or four well-conjugated verbs, but soon she was saying non-sense: "enamorate me (enamórame => win my heart), desnudate me (desnúdame => take my clothes off) fragmentate me (fragméntame => hack me up), respondate me (respóndeme => answer to me), intervinate me (???)...", and so on...

Seems like I have a very creative friend...


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## Silvia B

This is a weird thing that happened to me recently.
I was seriously talking to some friends (Italians like me) about jobs.
And I suddenly said: "Se tu worki ... " meaning "Se tu lavori..." (If you work..)


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## Amityville

That is funny - I've experienced it too, usually when exasperated, an English word bobs out in the middle of a rush of French words. Usually it's a colourless conjunction and I tell myself that no one noticed but thinking about it later, I laugh and laugh.


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## horusankh

Bienvenidos said:


> Ranchuelo, ¿de cuál país esta "zumo"? Nunca lo he oído. Por lo general, digo "jugo de naranja".
> 
> Muchas Gracias.
> 
> *Bienvenidos*


 


Sancho Panza said:


> En España decimos zumo


Hola Sancho Panza:

En México también se dice "zumo" pero es otra cosa, el "zumo de naranja" es el "jugo" de la cáscara de la naranja, que tiene un sabor muy desagradable, así que si vienes a México, y pides un vaso de zumo de naranja es posible que te echen una mirada de sorpresa, y en ese momento aclara que lo que quieres es jugo de naranja, porque podrían darte zumo. 

Saludos.


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## horusankh

Hi,

I have a very embarrassing one. I had a swiss girlfriend by the time when Versace was shot, and I was visiting her and her parents that day, they went out and I saw the news, and when they came back home, I told them what had just happened, but my German was not that good, and I told them: "Weisst ihr was ist los? Versace wurde geschiessen!" That is, I had a confusion between the verbs derived from "shoot" and "shit", and instead of sayin that "Versace was shot" I said that he was (the other verb)_ed. Her mother wasn't very happy.


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## mirx

Fantasmagórico said:


> My Uruguayan ex-girlfriend once made an awful mistake in Venezuela, when she wanted a straw for drinking her soda. Instead of using the Venezuelan word for straw (which is "pitillo"), she used the Uruguayan equivalent: "pajita". The bartender somehow understood what she wanted, and gave it to her with a big grin in his face. Later, I had to tell her that she had asked for a little fingering


 

Hahaha, en México "paja" significa "handjob", y le acaba de pasar lo mismo a un amigo alemán, sólo que con una mesera. 

¿Todo bien señor?
Me das una paja por favor.

Everything ok sir?
Just a handjob please...


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## Chaska Ñawi

This has been a really entertaining thread.  However, at twenty-one pages it's become so large and cumbersome that you need a week's vacation and a Eurail pass to travel the whole thing.

The time has now come to close it down.  Thanks for your understanding.


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