# Talking on the phone in a foreign language



## Markus

I've been in France for about a month now, and it's pretty tough so far. Most of the time, however, I can make it through a conversation without giving up. I am understood quite well, it's rather my comprehension that is lacking. Women speak much clearer than men (but that's another topic).

But one thing that absolutely _terrifies_ me is talking on the phone. I never realized before how much influence body language and reading lips has on comprehension. I have had several telephone conversations from hell, where I just can't understand, and the person on the other line is getting frustrated, and I'm asking them to repeat and for some reason they _won't slow down for me_. Has anyone else had this experience in trying to get by in a new country? I'm curious if anyone else finds telephone conversations infinitely harder than in person. Does it get easier or is it always a little bit harder in a foreign language over the telephone?


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## GenJen54

It's been a bit more than a decade since I lived in France, but I will never get over the horror of having my first French telephone call that went beyond a simple "Est-ce-que je peut parler avec XXX, s'il vous plait." In fact, it was a pre-screening for a job interview.  

I had never felt so frustrated in my life. Like you, I realized at that instant just how important hand gestures and facial expressions were - and are - to everyday communication. I could not believe the absolute shock it gave my confidence. It is absolutely true, I had to "think" a great deal more when speaking on the phone. 

Pre-phone call, I felt absolutely confident not only in MY ability to communicate, but also in my ability to understand speakers of all levels. I could even sit through the evening newscasts with nary a problem. 

Post-phone call, I was ready to pack my bags and call it done. Go home. Never speak French again. 

Fortunately, subsequent attempts at phone conversations, like everything else, improved with time. What helped for me was partaking in "friendly" conversations with friends of mine who would gently correct me when necessary. From simply asking about what went on in class, or making plans for the weekend, these types of calls gradually helped me grow more accustomed to "listening" while on the phone. 

All I can really say, is that: a) you are not alone in the experience; and b) like everything else, this will get better with time.  

Afterall, I got the job, so I must have understood something!  

Cheers!


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## manana

Hola Markus:
Disculpa por no contestarte en inglés, pero me demoro mucho en armar las frases y ya tengo que irme.  Bueno respondiendo a tu pregunta,  en mi trabajo me toca atender llamados  de personas que hablan en inglés y sí  encuentro que es terrible tratar de entender todo lo que me dicen. Nunca he estado en un país de habla inglesa y todo el inglés que sé lo he aprendido en Chile, en un Instituto de idiomas  y por mi cuenta en una edad  avanzada. Me cuesta  entender sobre todo cuando la persona que me habla  es nativa, pero el problema de comprensión disminuye cuando la persona que me habla  es italiana, francesa,  alemana o de otra lengua y usa el inglés como segunda lengua. Las personas que no son nativas  en general  son más comprensivas y entienden y empatizan conmigo cuando les pido que me hablen más lento, que puedo entender  casi todo siempre y cuando me hablen en forma más pausada y pronunciando bien  cada palabra. También demuestran más paciencia  con mis respuestas  en las cuales no siempre los verbos coinciden con los tiempos o cuando a veces  doy un gran rodeo para explicar algo muy simple porque no encuentro las palabras más  adecuadas en ese momento. A veces hasta terminamos riendo a través del teléfono por alguna metida de pata en mi vocabulario.
Al igual que a ti también me resulta  un poco más fácil comprender  el inglés cuando alguien está frente a mí y puedo ver sus labios o deducir por sus gestos  o actitudes cuales son sus intensiones o "deseos ocultos".

Bueno  te envío toda mi comprensión  y empatía  pues  me interpretas mucho cuando dices que a veces te sientes frustrado porque no sabes si  finalmente lograste ser  totalmente comprendido o entendiste todo lo que quisieron decirte del otro lado de la línea y te quedas con  esta  sensación durante unos cuantos minutos.

Saludos


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## Roi Marphille

Well, I had my experience years ago too when I went to live in a foreign country. 
A woman called me speaking in English and I could barely understand what was she saying and I kept saying all the time: "mmm..eh..ok" meanwhile praying God to finish with that turture! I kept understanding one every four or five words..and when I kept thinking in the word I had just listened, that woman would had poured like fifteen more words in a row! 
Finally I happened to understand that she was saying goodbye and I was filled with relieve and happiness and I said "bye" and I hanged down the phone. 
The funny think is that, after five seconds she called me back asking why the hell did I hang down! (or at least that was what I understood) je je

good luck my friend and be patience

cheers

Roi


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## rob.returns

This is a good subject to discuss with.

Generally, I'm certain that everyone would agree that talking over the phone would drop more sweat compare to when the person is infront of you. 

I could attest to this one, since my job, literally would consume hours talking over the receiver. Imagine this, I'm an Asian(who grew up without the American accent), but speaks English(with American accent) now, months of training did this. I once had classmates who are Americans, and I did not have any problems talking to them with their wild slangs. But when I applied for this job I was surprised I have a hard time over the phone, those words that is pronounce entirely different from the Asian accent was a challenge over the receiver(it sounded entirely different compare to when you are actually speaking in person). But good thing is I like music, listening to those Eminem albums and alternatives, I assume that was the one that really aid me in my problem and get the job done.

I also speak Spanish over the phone(fairly, I do take Spanish calls), but I havent really speak Spanish to someone who is actually a native Spanish speaker. I was a bit happy to know that talking personally would make it much easier. Will it mean that when I would finally met someone who is a Native, comprehension will be "of reach"?

I dont know. 

Might as well wait for that  time.

Great Topic anyway.


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## timpeac

I have no problem speaking face to face in French or Spanish, or occasionally English, to people, but hate hate hate to the power of 10 speaking it on the phone with strangers (including English).

I think Roi makes a good point. People want to be told what they want to hear, and they live for the moment. If you get someone on the phone and you don't quite understand what they're saying, just agree to whatever they are saying/want. They won't even remember themselves what they wanted in 2 weeks time. 

I'm only half joking - I use this technique even when I understand full well what someone wants but know I can't/don't want to deliver it and don't want to have an argument about it at that time. Just agree, and 8 times out of 10 you never hear back about it...


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## Rayines

Yes, Markus, it was terrible for me being in París 30 years ago, the first time I had to phone a person, although the person spoke Spanish (because I was afraid of someone answering in French). And 30 years later, I felt a similar panic being abroad, when phoning a friend with whom I should speak only in English (it wasn't in England). All this in spite of the fact that I could manage with both languages speaking face to face with people. Strange phenomenon....


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## lsp

Ditto!! I even dreaded the sound of the ring! And now, when I'm away from Italy for a long time and my language skills get a bit rusty, the fear comes back about the phone a little bit. And I still take comfort from all these posts, too!


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## Jonegy

My (Brazilian) nephew, after 3 years in the UK found it increasingly difficult to have conversations with his friends at home because of the new slang that was being used there.

Regarding the telephone  -  when you call for a confirmation or the like  - and you expect to know (and understand) what the answer is going to be .....  Funny old world    --  it is NOT easy.

Hide everyone !!!!  I feel one of my reminiscences coming on !!!!!!

A very good friend of mine owned a Pub in one of the villages on the River Trent where I would regularly take charge ( be Barman) when he wanted a night off.

There was a regular trade of seamen from the Dutch (Nederlandse) flagged ships - many of whom where from the Cabo Verde Islands.

One evening, I noticed three Verdeanos crossing the road to the Pub and from their expressions, more or less surmised the conversation  ie;  What does everyone want to drink - and how do we say it in english.

When they entered I addressed them totally in portuguese from the "Good Evenings" to their preferences in the drinking department.  They answered me throughout in english.

Ten minutes after being served and sitting at a table away from the bar the one I had served finally came over and had to have it confirmed that I had held the whole conversation speaking portugues while being answered in english  -  his pals had understood because it was not them that had to hold the conversation and they could therefore relax and realise what was happening.

Great Lads ! Great Friends !     -  and if they are on the web these days   "GIVE ME A SHOUT !!!!"

Sorry Mr Moderator - slightly off topic - but apt nonetheless  

Everyone else  - "Sorry for being such an old bore"    ( I'm not really !!


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## Sev

Oooooooh yes ! I spent two months in England, and I once had a phone conversation with a man I knew...I could hardly understand a word...he was inviting me to have dinner, and it took me five minutes to understand ! When I saw him the day after he told me "You know, that conversation yesterday, was kind of...supernatural".


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## Elisa68

Same here! My problem was with the utilities companies to have electricity and phone activated. I tried in every way to do it by the Internet, but they had only 1.800 lines. It was just terrible, but at the end I wasn't in the dark anymore!!!!


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## jess oh seven

yes i find talking on the phone more difficult in Spanish than face to face conversation. but i had to just suck it up when i moved there because i HAD TO call people in order to find a place to live and to arrange meetings etc. just DO IT. arrange a little spiel beforehand, but just try to give the caller all your attention. they'll probably notice that you're foreign and hopefully they'll speak a little more slowly and clearly for you. if not, how rude!

something that may help with your comprehension is watching tv or listening to the radio in French, no matter how bad it is. do this a lot and your comprehension will skyrocket.

the other day i received a phonecall from someone wanting to conduct a short survey with me, and the woman had obviously been doing it aaaallll day and had memorised all the lines and questions, so she spoke at lightning speed, dropping crucial sounds and letters all over the place... you start to feel like a real idiot when you can't understand what someone's saying in your own language, let me tell you. but it was her fault not mine, i swear!


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## tey2

I haven't had the opportunity to talk to a spanish native speaker in person. But with my job, everyday I talk to Spanish customers and I can still remember the first time I talk to a spanish customer, I was really nervous. During the first two or so minutes I was doing fine but when she started asking a lot of questions I didn't know what to do, I could not understand everything she was asking me, I keep on saying "perdon?" or "como?" I did not dare tell her that I don't understand what she's asking. Since she was calling to order our product, what I did was, I told her everything I know about the product without knowing if that's what she was asking when I told her that, she asked something I don't know what and I just told her about the offer. Luckily it worked. I was just guessing if she was asking about the offer that we have. For days I did that but then I improved on my comprehension. It sure is a lot of hard work when speaking over the phone in a foreign language. I have to understand what they're saying or asking and I have to think my grammar and pronunciation for them to understand me.


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## Amityville

Very traumatising. I was forced to answer the phone at work, never knowing who would be calling or what about, could be complaining, could be putting a technical question, somebody selling something, a wrong number. Could be anyone and anything so each time the phone rang it meant switching on intense concentration (very intense - I might not have noticed if the building was going up in flames around me) and running with the phone to find a quiet place. Often saying 'I'm sorry there's a lot of background noise, the line's bad, etc, any excuse to have things repeated. In a foreign language too you don't have the pretty meaningless little phrases to smooth the flow, and give yourself time to think.  I have to say that I think phone-answering did bring me on in the language a lot but given a choice I would have rather come on more slowly without the stress and the embarrassment of appearing to be a deaf-mute or halfwit.


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## Antonio76

I have one very simple question for a native of Argentina: what do you say in Argentina when you answer a ringing phone? Do you pick it up and say: 'Bueno?' Or 'Mande'? Or just 'Hola?' In Mexico, I remember people saying 'Mande.' In Bavaria, people announce themselves with their surname: "Bloching". Or: 'Hoffman."




			
				Rayines said:
			
		

> Yes, Markus, it was terrible for me being in París 30 years ago, the first time I had to phone a person, although the person spoke Spanish (because I was afraid of someone answering in French). And 30 years later, I felt a similar panic being abroad, when phoning a friend with whom I should speak only in English (it wasn't in England). All this in spite of the fact that I could manage with both languages speaking face to face with people. Strange phenomenon....


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## Rayines

Hallo Antonio: Welcome. In Argentina we simply say: "¡Hola!", generally with a sort of accent on the "a": Holá?! . If you can't hear very well, or something like that, you repeat: "Hola, quién habla?"...And then "Ah!...cómo te va?!...And so on.


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## InmayHugo

Hola Antonio
En España decimos
¿Diga?
¿Dígame?
Sí, ¿dígame?
o simplemente
¿Sí?
Gracias, Inma


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## Antonio76

Thanks for those answers, Rayines and Inmay. I wish everyone in the world would answer with at least their name so you know who you are talking to. In Canada on a private line you often get "Hello?" with a rising intonation as if the person who answers is unsure if he's not talking into a dark tunnel that has mysteriously emitted a sound. Seconds are wasting bally-hooing back and forth until both of you know who's calling and what it's about. I like the German and the Slovak way of stating your name and getting right down to business; the Slovaks say, 'Prosim, Surname', ('prosim' being like 'bitte' in German.) But in Germany and Slovakia you pay for the call by the second, so there's a reason to get to the point. In Canada local calls (on landlines) are still free.


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## Rayines

> I wish everyone in the world would answer with at least their name so you know who you are talking to.


*Oh!, yes...in Argentina, I dare to say...it's as if we wanted to keep some mistery about the question, wasting all those seconds you tell about.... (Just an opinion).*


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## ElaineG

I share all of your pain.  I lived in Italy for a few years, and my face to face speaking was near fluent.  The phone terrified me, however, and to this day, I have to take several deep breaths (or a small glass of wine )when it's time to call my friends or even just make a dinner reservation.  (And in French, forget it, I'll do almost anything to get someone else to make my dinner reservations for me).  I found that my fears were compounded by the fact that all my Italian friends loved to call me from their cellphones when I or they were at a noisy beach, disco, restaurant, etc., making comprehension that much harder.

Luckily, all of my Italian friends are addicted to SMSs, so even for keeping in transatlantic touch, we tend to rely on this.  It's better than screaming "NON HO CAPITO" into a bad cellphone connection for minutes at a time.


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## Isotta

I generally speak more quickly in French than I do in English, but on the phone, I deliberately speak slowly in French, and, with the exception of France Telecom (trying to sell extra things in TGV-speed sales talk), your deliberateness tends to make the other person slow down. 

Z.


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## Antonio76

That's very good advice. But how to break old habits of getting the pitch in before you're interrupted, and trying to show respect for the other person's time by rapping it? Face to face you can read signals that say, 'I'm on my way to a meeting, beat it', or 'I'm just stepping out to a movie so sorry', or 'the cheque's in the mail, everything's OK' - but only a voice on the other end of the line is hard to read for time signals and phones just don't pick up the sound of a rotating wrist... Maybe the message has to fit the medium. Slow and careful is best savoured around a campfire! In Munich I once approached language schools by phone and had the worst phone experiences ever with Swiss German speakers - they were extremely brusque, superior, lordly. Later, I had the best phone experiences ever with Munich publishers - they made me feel warmly welcome. ('Tschuss' is a great sign-off sound!) So it's not just the language, it's the culture, and some are just better than others, in my opinion. Faced with one that seems to want to grind you into the dirt if you can't get your message across in five seconds, maybe you just have to accept you'll never be perfect and what the heck... Just never invite that guy to your campfire.


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## Isotta

Hello, and welcome!

True, I suppose it does does depend on the culture. 

Also, to answer Markus' other question--it gets much better.

It's kind of like arriving to a country having not spoken the language in a while, and when a waitor asks you if you want water, you freeze up and you feel defensive. Two weeks later you're ordering for all your foreign friends who have come to visit you, courting the wait staff to make special order allowances for them, etc.

Same with the phone. Two-thirds of it is just feeling comfortable.

Z.


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## clipper

I don´t know what others think (and I know we´vge had threads on how long it takes to learn foreign languages etc) but Markus has been in France one month.... that is not a long time to be speaking on the phone with natives. 
I have been in Spain for over a year and I still find talking to some people face to face (particularly in my construction industry job) a challenge, mainly because of their use of informal and/or technical language used and the speed at which they speak. As far as the phone goes I completely agree that it is even harder.

The only thing that saves me is my confidance that I can make myself understood and that I can judge a person (by phone or face to face) sufficiently to know whether or not its worth asking them to repeat, slow down, use other words or just let them carry on agreeing knowledgably every so often just to keep them happy and never to be heard from again. 

I´m not sure if this post is reassuring or not but I think we´re all in the same boat !


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## Amityville

I think it is reassuring, clipper, it's good to compare traumas, and know you're not battling on alone. I spoke to a Frenchman phoning from London last week. He didn't catch on that I was English until I told him - could be he is so used to hearing an English accent that it passed him by but then he complimented me on my French accent (I was secretly ecstatic, though admittedly he was a salesman). I told him any progress I had made came from having to answer the phone and he told me he was made to phone English people and hated it (he hadn't been expecting me to be one - ha). We had a long conversation about how awful it is, sharing horrific anecdotes, a little bit like this thread. So that was a very pleasant interlude in the day, he was very nice, maybe he'll phone again. So, well, it's not all bad news.

I had intended to say that yes,it's not too bad if you can get a take on the person, or you know who you are phoning, it's the great unknown that causes the panic, but the more you practice, the more confident you become, the easier it gets....but all the sale there never seems to be a moment when you can say you've cracked it.


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## Bilma

Amityville said:
			
		

> Very traumatising. I was forced to answer the phone at work, never knowing who would be calling or what about, could be complaining, could be putting a technical question, somebody selling something, a wrong number. Could be anyone and anything so each time the phone rang it meant switching on intense concentration (very intense - I might not have noticed if the building was going up in flames around me) and running with the phone to find a quiet place. Often saying 'I'm sorry there's a lot of background noise, the line's bad, etc, any excuse to have things repeated. In a foreign language too you don't have the pretty meaningless little phrases to smooth the flow, and give yourself time to think. I have to say that I think phone-answering did bring me on in the language a lot but given a choice I would have rather come on more slowly without the stress and the embarrassment of appearing to be a deaf-mute or halfwit.


 
That is my every day nightmare but in English!!!!  I laughed a lot when I read it but it is not funny when you are suffering....


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## asm

Phone calls have always been difficult to me; sometimes people don't understand why I used to show up into their offices instead of just calling. The answer is: I was terrified by the phone!!!!!!




			
				Markus said:
			
		

> I've been in France for about a month now, and it's pretty tough so far. Most of the time, however, I can make it through a conversation without giving up. I am understood quite well, it's rather my comprehension that is lacking. Women speak much clearer than men (but that's another topic).
> 
> But one thing that absolutely _terrifies_ me is talking on the phone. I never realized before how much influence body language and reading lips has on comprehension. I have had several telephone conversations from hell, where I just can't understand, and the person on the other line is getting frustrated, and I'm asking them to repeat and for some reason they _won't slow down for me_. Has anyone else had this experience in trying to get by in a new country? I'm curious if anyone else finds telephone conversations infinitely harder than in person. Does it get easier or is it always a little bit harder in a foreign language over the telephone?


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## Chaska Ñawi

My heart rate still soars when I have to use the phone for French or Spanish conversations!

It's become easier to speak with my Bolivian friends by phone (in any case, the Bolivians from the highlands speak quite slowly and distinctly).  However, some of them now live in Buenos Aires, and their children are an entirely different story.  It's soooo difficult to speak with them.   Let alone disentangling the idiosyncracies of rioplatense Spanish, their slang is completely unfamiliar to me .... and they're too young to realize that they need to slow down and enunciate if I'm going to understand.

Luckily for communication, that generation is very gung-ho about MSN - otherwise I'd never know what was on their minds!


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## East Hill

In my line of work I have occasion to call a certain airline's operations desk to confirm plane numbers, departure times, load information, etc. My co-workers have often been quite unsympathetic about the reluctance of certain other of my fellow co-workers to answer the telephone. The co-workers who are reluctant to answer the telephone are from Vietnam, and are not truly at ease in speaking English. I recently have discovered that the gentleman who works the airline "ops desk" is from Burgundy, and I look at this almost daily conversation as a way of practicing my woefully inadequate French. My empathy level has risen dramatically after discovering that communicating in a foreign language with someone over the telephone is _much_ harder than it would appear to be. It does get easier over time. Yes, my French is getting better (but it is still woefully inadequate). In addition, the speaking of French versus English is _my_ choice, and I could easily avoid the speaking of French if I so desired. My co-workers cannot avoid the speaking of English, and I now understand much better the stress they feel.

East Hill


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## Savoir

Many years ago, I was studying a summer course in France. One morning,  I was late and met a french friend in the common area, so we talked in English for at least 20 min (she didn't have a French accent). Then she excused herself to make a phone call. Then everybody in the hall looked at her in shock, since she was speaking English a minute ago, then was blah blah blah in French on the telephone. What nationality could she be?


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