# Eating alone in restaurants



## tvdxer

How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?

Here in the U.S., at least in the Upper Midwest, people generally view it as something they'd be uncomfortable doing, and look upon others with pity for.  Eating at the bar would probably be an exception.


----------



## KateNicole

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?
> 
> Here in the U.S., at least in the Upper Midwest, people generally view it as something they'd be uncomfortable doing, and look upon others with pity for. Eating at the bar would probably be an exception.


I lived in the midwest (Wisconsin) for most of my life and I agree that the majority there seems to think that dining alone in a restaurant is very awkward, but I think the other "exception" is eating alone when on business. I constantly see briefcase toting men and women out to lunch alone and no one bats an eyelash. Also, when I waitressed I began to realize that it's more common than what people who are unsure about the notion would imagine. On weekday evenings, I usually had about 2-3 "loners," who were almost always men.

For some very odd reason, I've never gone out to eat alone for dinner at a sit-down restaurant here, but it's something I do often when I go to Europe. In my past trips to Spain, I frequently dined alone and didn't feel depressed or embarrassed, so I honestly don't know what prevents me from doing it here! I guess the restaurant atmosphere is just indescribably different in the US, especially if you live in a small town.

P.S. I get dinner alone at little "mom and pop" style places in Mexico, and I find that to be different, too. The staff is sort of engaging, so I just don't feel out of place! It's like they tell you their life story before your _milanesa's_ on the table.


----------



## fenixpollo

I think that going to the movies alone has the same stigma attached. Lots of people stay in their apartments, eat frozen dinners and rent DVDs, just so that they don't have to endure the stares of people who consider going out alone as a sign of antisocial behavior.  

Kate, you obviously don't think it's a bad thing, but look at the vocabulary that society has taught you us: _loner_.  I think that many people assume that if the "loner" isn't antisocial, then she/he must have emotional problems... or worse.

And this from a society that purports to value individualism!


----------



## KateNicole

fenixpollo said:


> Kate, you obviously don't think it's a bad thing, but look at the vocabulary that society has taught you: _loner_.  I think that many people assume that if the "loner" isn't antisocial, then she/he must have emotional problems... or worse.
> 
> And this from a society that purports to value individualism!


Should I have said alonee?  Solo diner?    I put the quotes there for a reason, hehehe.  

I don't think people avoid going to the movies alone because they don't want to be thought of as antisocial, rather I think they don't want to be thought of as friendless losers that _want _to be social _pero que no tienen con quie'n_ . . . at least that's my problem!!  Really though, that's not what I think when I see people alone at the movies.  I actually admire them.


----------



## gaer

I don't care what people think when or if I eat alone in a restaurant (or view a movie alone), and I have never thought that people who such things alone are in any way inferior, weird, unfortunate, etc.

I simply don't LIKE doing either of these things alone.


----------



## jabogitlu

I'm with gaer; I don't like going to the movies alone.  I don't like eating alone in the evenings, but if I am alone at breakfast, lunch or afternoon, I don't mind stopping somewhere to eat by myself, either at fast-food or sit-down.

But we have too many Americans in this thread already!


----------



## Mei

Hi there,

 I did it many times but I didn't know I had to feel embarrassed... It's no strange for me to see people eating alone during the week.

I used to go to the cinema alone, why not? If I don't do it now it is because I can find all the movies in internet for free (yes, catalan, scrooge me, blah, blah, blah )... and yes it is better to watch a movie there but I prefer being at home with the remote control. 

Cheers

Mei


----------



## topaze

Yes I  also don't like  to be alone  at all.But sometimes at the lunch pause I go to sushi bar or a little tea room restaurant.
At evening dinner,never ,it's very odd  here for a woman to go  out alone at restaurant .Going to movies alone ?why not ,but i's very sad not sharing it whith someone else.


----------



## KateNicole

Mei said:


> Hi there,
> 
> I did it many times but I didn't know I had to feel embarrassed... It's no strange for me to see people eating alone during the week.


 
DON'T!  More power to you!


----------



## Javeke

I'd rather doing it alone than with the wrong companion...


----------



## Jana337

jabogitlu said:


> But we have too many Americans in this thread already!


Maybe because the rest of the world doesn't know what you are talking about! 

Obviously, I cannot speak for everyone, but I have no idea why eating alone or going to movies alone shoud carry a stigma. However, I may be a hopeless loner who won't notice the pitiful looks because I simply couldn't care less. 

Jana


----------



## Brioche

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?
> 
> Here in the U.S., at least in the Upper Midwest, people generally view it as something they'd be uncomfortable doing, and look upon others with pity for. Eating at the bar would probably be an exception.


 
I think it is impossible to really dine when alone. It's possible to _*eat *_alone, but not dine.

At least half the enjoyment in good food is in the sharing of the experience. 

Mother nature has made the vast majority of us social animals. As some long dead Hebrew wrote: "It is not good for man to be alone."
This is why solitary confinement is seen as particularly cruel.


----------



## Mei

I agree, it is no good (I prefer not to be alone sometimes) but I think that it is no bad. right?

Cheers

Mei


----------



## maxiogee

Jana337 said:


> Maybe because the rest of the world doesn't know what you are talking about!


Indeed!



> Obviously, I cannot speak for everyone, but I have no idea why eating alone or going to movies alone shoud carry a stigma. However, I may be a hopeless loner who won't notice the pitiful looks because I simply couldn't care less.


I have never felt 'marked out' when dining alone - and yes Brioche, one _can_ dine alone!
Alone with my thoughts is how I often dined, drank, or went to the cinema or theatre.


----------



## confusion

Well, I'm Italian and at least where_ I_ live if you go out alone (either to a restaurant or to watch a movie) you will face other people's doubting eyes.
About me..I feel unconfortable when I have to eat alone. I really hate it. And I've never been to a cinema alone neither, because I just don't like it and I prefer staying at home rather than going alone to watch a movie.
But I should admit that I have a very "provincial" way of thinking.  

By the way: I don't care if other people eat or do something else alone, but I totally dislike doing it!


----------



## la reine victoria

My frequent travels through France were always on my own, deliberately so, to encourage the French to talk to me. I went on long train journeys and never failed to strike up a conversation with other solo travellers.

Obviously I had all my meals alone, too. The same thing would happen - diners at adjacent tables would start chatting to me. They were very interested to learn that I was an English female travelling alone and wanted to know all about me.

I never once felt embarrassed. Quite the opposite - it did wonders for my French conversation.




LRV


----------



## Etcetera

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?


In expensive restaurants, it must be pretty unusual, I suppose. 
But in small restaurants and cafes, you can see quite a number of people eating alone - mostly, they come to cafes for breakfast or lunch. 
I enjoy going to cafes with my friends and my family, but if I simply want to eat something, why not go to a cafe alone?
As for going to the cinema - I'm not a cinema fan, and I go to the cinema rather rarely. And for me, it's a nice opportunity to meet with a friend. But if I'm particularly interested in a given film, I can go and watch it alone, if I can't find a good company. Why not?


----------



## Grop

When I see someone eating alone in the restaurant, I generally assume they are travelling on business and have not much choice. I have seen it often in Paris, and hardly in more rural places.

(Unless it is in a cafe indeed)

I find it sad to eat alone.


----------



## Markus

I feel awkward eating alone. I've done it a few times and it was unpleasant. It's not because I don't like eating alone because I can do it just fine at home without feeling awkward at all.  So it really is the perception of social judgement for me. I don't mind nearly as much if I'm in a new city on my own, but I think this is because I feel less self-conscious when I'm new to a city anyway.


----------



## San

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?
> 
> Here in the U.S., at least in the Upper Midwest, people generally view it as something they'd be uncomfortable doing, and look upon others with pity for.  Eating at the bar would probably be an exception.



In Spain is quite normal. If you enter a restaurant at midday on a working day you will see people eating alone. Sometimes, most of the tables are taken for "loners". It's surprising to me find out that it could be awful in other countries.

People usually don't make a special effort to meet other people on working days for lunch. Threre are some who live alone and occasionally or regularly go out for lunch (alone) and there are, most of all, workers. It's normal for they to go home to lunch with their familes, but sometimes it's not possible. If any colleague is available it's normal to eat alone. I know there are people that hate it and try to call all their friends until find a partner, but many others do not.

In other cases depending on the day, the hour and the restaurant,  perhaps could be odd, most of all for dinner, I mean the meal in the evening.

Sorry my English, I'm just learning


----------



## ayaram7700

Hello, everybody,

I really do not feel awkward or anything when eating alone at a restaurant; I know it's bad manners, but I always carry something to read while I eat,  sometimes it feels good to enjoy a meal by yourself. There is nothing wrong with it. My  new co-worker generally leaves the office at lunch break with a book under his arm, and I find it healthy. We also have lunch together somedays, it's not necessarily  an "antisocial" behavior, but I think we cannot  have the ideal situation when we *always* have a person to share our lunch time with us. Of course, we'd rather have someone, but I wonder, could  those "loners"   be called just INDEPENDENT GUYS or GALS?

Saludos,

Ayaram7700


----------



## Trina

ayaram7700 said:


> [...]I really do not feel awkward or anything when eating alone at a restaurant; I know it's bad manners, but I always carry something to read while I eat,  [...]


I think it would only be considered bad manners if:-
1) you were reading aloud 
2) you were not dining alone.
3) your newspaper was so big it was interfering with the waiting staff and/or other diners


----------



## TRG

When I used to travel alone on business I quickly learned that I hated eating alone, so I would never have a meal at a full service restaurant by myself. If I had to I would try to have something to read. It never occurred to me that anyone else would take notice of my eating alone or think anything of it. It was just extremely uncomfortable for me and I can't exactly say why, except that it is boring. I would sooner have lunch with the most unpleasant person imaginable than to do it by myself. I never find myself in that situation (eating alone) any more, so I hadn't thought about it for a long time, until I saw this thread... interesting.


----------



## cuchuflete

I used to travel very frequently for business.  Meals alone were the standard unless I had a business meeting at mealtime.  I got used to it.  I always had a newspaper or two in the morning, and a book with lunch and dinner.  I cannot imagine why anyone would be offended by a solitary diner reading a book.  

In younger days, I worked as a waiter. I often served dinner to business people who were traveling, and eating alone.  They too read books.  It didn't bother me then either.


----------



## DickHavana

When I divorced I was alone a time. All my friends were married and it was not too comfortable for me to go out with them. I had any friends not-married, but they were too much "toxic" for me.  

I never tried to go out to dinner alone, and when I went to the cinema because I liked a film, I felt rare. Weekends were a nightmare. To go out to have a drink  it was really unpleasant (all the people happy around and you there, alone, in the middle, as a pole).

Finally, I met a new couple and now I can go to dinner, cinema, pubs, etcetera . Moreover, now I have a son, and I know that if I would divorce again, at least I will can go at the weekend to dinner BurgherKing and to the cinema (to see The Lion King) with my son.

I think, at least in Spain, to dinner alone is not too usual (at least in provincial middle cities and if you aren't a business man), but to go to the cinema is more comprehensible. But to go out by night (pubs, disco) alone is worse.  

Saludos


----------



## KateNicole

ziu said:


> It seems a bit weird to me too that eating alone in restaurants is seen that way in (at least certain parts of) the USA. Does this apply to any kind of restaurant, I wonder?


I think (but correct me if I'm wrong) that most Americans who are too uncomfortable to eat alone in a restaurant simply do not do so, but in most circumstances are not uncomfortable or overly concerned when seeing _other_ people do this.  I think we've accidentally made ourselves out to be more fixated on this than we actually are.


----------



## danielfranco

When I was single (feels, like, a million years ago... but in a good way, ya hear?) I had no qualms about eating alone. 
The only difference I see in eating along here in the States or eating alone in Mexico many years ago (yes, I was also single in Mexico, wonders never cease) is that in Mexico people would ask me to share the table with them, or the wait staff would ask if I would share the table with other "alone-diners". But it's not as if suddenly we were "two less lonely people" in the restaurant, but we were *two people having dinner/lunch/breakfast alone, BUT ON THE SAME TABLE*.

How's that for weird?

I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?

Whatever. John Lennon said it best, though: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright..."


----------



## CiegoEnamorado

fenixpollo said:


> And this from a society that purports to value individualism!


 
That's EXACTLY what my brothers and I love pointing out! I find it contradictory, and hilarious. 

I, for one, don't mind eating lunch alone. Well, I never had actually eaten lunch _a solas_ until I started college. At first, sure, I felt awkward, but like ayaram7700, I ALWAYS have a book with myself to read. Though sometimes I don't, and that awkwardness is going away. I think it's just because Americans are enculturated into having lots of friends, and a stable relationship, followed by marriage, and always expected to have people hanging around them. I prefer solitude, though, and eating is one of those things where I've come to prefer it.


----------



## DickHavana

danielfranco said:


> I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?



Not at least in Spain. I saw that in Germany, but not in Spain.


----------



## ziu

danielfranco said:


> I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?


You mean sharing a table with one of those weird loser/loner guys? No way, dude! (I'd rather stay sat by myself ).


danielfranco said:


> Whatever. John Lennon said it best, though: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright..."


He also said "The food is cold / Your eyes are cold / The window's cold / The bed's cold / Give me something that's not cold, come on, come on" ...I guess that was when he was ordering dessert.

Seriously though, I've never seen two "sole diners" being asked to share the same table, at least not in the UK. But I guess our dining habits are more similar to those in the USA than those of (most) of our continental European friends. I think in Mediterranean countries people usually eat out at restaurants because (shock, horror) they actually want a nice meal, rather than to take part in some weird social event thing.


----------



## tvdxer

DickHavana said:


> I think, at least in Spain, to dinner alone is not too usual (at least in provincial middle cities and if you aren't a business man), but to go to the cinema is more comprehensible. But to go out by night (pubs, disco) alone is worse.
> 
> Saludos



That's interesting you say that.  I've always thought of bars as places where nobody would bat an eye at a solo patron; actually where going alone is almost as common as going with another.  After all, one of the main purposes of a bar is to socialize with other people, isn't it?


----------



## Mei

danielfranco said:


> I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?



Well I saw it many times in the eating lunch time in many restaurants in Barcelona... I think it's odd but it's useful for the restaurant when they have many people to serve. 

Cheers

Mei-Mei


----------



## Brioche

cuchuflete said:


> I used to travel very frequently for business. Meals alone were the standard unless I had a business meeting at mealtime. I got used to it. I always had a newspaper or two in the morning, and a book with lunch and dinner. I cannot imagine why anyone would be offended by a solitary diner reading a book.


 
Sure, read a book while you are filling the gap with some stodge in a Wimpy bar, but I cannot get my mind around the idea of reading a book while dining in a genuine restaurant.

While sitting in the _Tour d'Argent_, nibbling my _caneton_ and sipping my _Gevrey Chambertin Combe Aux Moines_, I won't be perusing _Asterix chez les Bretons._


----------



## Jana337

danielfranco said:


> When I was single (feels, like, a million years ago... but in a good way, ya hear?) I had no qualms about eating alone.
> The only difference I see in eating along here in the States or eating alone in Mexico many years ago (yes, I was also single in Mexico, wonders never cease) is that in Mexico people would ask me to share the table with them, or the wait staff would ask if I would share the table with other "alone-diners". But it's not as if suddenly we were "two less lonely people" in the restaurant, but we were *two people having dinner/lunch/breakfast alone, BUT ON THE SAME TABLE*.
> 
> How's that for weird?
> 
> I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?


Sure, this happens. When asked by the staff or by the new clients themselves, you are actually supposed to nod, although you might prefer to stay alone.  They wouldn't kill you if you protested but I think it would be most unusual and even impolite unless you can explain that you are expecting someone to join you.

Jana


----------



## topaze

Brioche said:


> Sure, read a book while you are filling the gap with some stodge in a Wimpy bar, but I cannot get my mind around the idea of reading a book while dining in a genuine restaurant.
> 
> While sitting in the _Tour d'Argent_, nibbling my _caneton_ and sipping my _Gevrey Chambertin Combe Aux Moines_, I won't be perusing _Asterix chez les Bretons._


...
 I presume it 's different if it is a man or a woman dining alone in a reataurant!


----------



## Brioche

topaze said:


> ...
> I presume it 's different if it is a man or a woman dining alone in a reataurant!


 
The difference between a man and a woman dining alone is that a man will drink more than a woman, and a man is generally a better tipper [as well as a better tippler] than a woman.


----------



## DickHavana

tvdxer said:


> That's interesting you say that.  I've always thought of bars as places where nobody would bat an eye at a solo patron; actually where going alone is almost as common as going with another.  After all, one of the main purposes of a bar is to socialize with other people, isn't it?



At least in Basque Country (Northern Spain), people is gregarious and move in "cuadrilla" (team of friends). You go to a bar to meet your group of friends. If you go to a bar and you´re alone, traditionally girls see you as a weirdo (bicho raro). In a pub it's not as rare, but in a musical bar or a disco you will look as "a duck in a garage"


----------



## San

ziu said:


> I think in Mediterranean countries people usually eat out at restaurants because (shock, horror) they actually want a nice meal, rather than to take part in some weird social event thing.



That's funny, but I'm starting thinking that it may be the real difference . In such countries like mine, dinner (midday meal here) is something sacred, that's to say, there is no day without dinner. You can see people dining alone in the restaurant in the same way that that you can see people praying alone in the church, or drinking alone in the bar, or going alone to the doctor's. It's not something you do just for fun, you simply must do it, whether you have company or not.

So, since it's difficult to me to believe in people being able either to go back home or to find company for dinner every single day in their lifes, I must conclude that for people who never dine alone in a restaurant is normal to have a day without dinner from time to time. But not to have a real meal is what is considered awful in some places  (sandwiches, hamburgers and pizzas hardly score as being a real meal)

Or perhaps it's just that our working hours, often split shift, make us crazy.


----------



## Namakemono

I go to the theater at least once a week, not just because I love cinema, but because I loathe pubs, discos and pretty much any place with hideous, loud music and crowds. Evidently, not everyone shares my passion for cinema, so I normally go there by myself. On the other hand, I rarely eat alone at a restaurant, and if I don't have an alternative, I simply order a sandwich and eat it at the restaurant's bar while reading a newspaper. Like some of you said, part of the pleasure of eating at a restaurant is enjoying good company, but obviously you can't talk when you're at the theater, all the more reason for me to prefer going alone.


----------



## Sallyb36

I eat alone every lunchtime, and i always take a book.  we only have 1 hour break from work, so I go to a nearby cafe and eat and read.  I think it's one of my favourite parts of the day, when i have the peace to sit and read without interruption from anyone.


----------



## jorge_val_ribera

I have never gone to the movie theatre alone because for me the company is half the fun. If I *really* want to see a movie and no one can join me, I'd rather wait until it's released in DVD (which isn't a long time). 

I've only heard of one person (a friend) who has ever gone to the movie theatre alone; it's not a common sight here.

About the restaurants... I have eaten at cafés alone, but I wouldn't go to a "good" restaurant by myself. There are some people here who are "pensionados" from restaurants, that is, people who pay a monthly ammount to eat there (alone) everyday.

As for being alone at discos... Been there. Awkward as hell.


----------



## sdr083

jorge_val_ribera said:


> I have never gone to the movie theatre alone because for me the company is half the fun. If I *really* want to see a movie and no one can join me, I'd rather wait until it's released in DVD (which isn't a long time).
> ...
> About the restaurants... I have eaten at cafés alone, but I wouldn't go to a "good" restaurant by myself.


 
If you have good company, the quality of the movie is less important, and not necessarily such an big part of the experience (my friend and I will usually do something else as well, before or after). However, I don't mind going alone to the cinema if it's a movie I really want to see.

I very much agree about the eating. I very often have lunch or dinner alone because basically I have to eat something during the day, and there's not always anyone around to eat with. However, I will not pick a fancy restaurant if I'm alone, unless I'm on holiday (I rather often travel alone, and this people do find wierd).

Maybe the differences between countries have to do with the "pattern" of the meals as well. In Norway lunch break is usually 30 minutes, and you eat where you are or at the company/school cafeteria (the "kantine" where you can chose to either buy something or eat the food you brought from home, the "niste"). People don't have time to go out anywhere. We finish work between 15:00 and 17:00 and have dinner then, much earlier than e.g. Spain, where I'm living at the moment. When we have dinner at restaurants (rather seldom - rather expensive...) we generally eat later. I think it would be a bit strange to see someone having a nice dinner at night alone, but during the day and in less fancy places no one would react. 

One thing I do have a problem with, is being the only one who's eating if I'm not alone. When I'm the only one who's hungry, I will grab something to eat while I'm walking, rather than sit down in a cafeteria and order something. I don't know why, but it makes me feel uncomfortable to eat when the other person with me doesn't. Even just a coffee feels wierd. Being the only one who orders alcohol with dinner would give me the same feeling (I always ask the others what they want).


----------



## lablady

I go to see a movie alone frequently. It is my way of enjoying a brief escape from reality. I felt a little strange at first, but I soon noticed that there are also other solo viewers in the theater; many I see there regularly. I like to go when I am off shift during the week (and most people are at work or at school), so the theater is less crowded. There have been many times that I am the only person there. Now _that_ really felt strange the first time.

I also have no difficulty eating alone in a restaurant. Travelling for business taught me that I have a choice; I can eat alone in my hotel room or eat alone in a restaurant. I'd rather eat out. Once in a while I eat out alone when I am in my own neighborhood as well. I usually take a book or a crossword puzzle. As long as I don't spend my time staring at the other diners, I don't think it bothers anyone and it certainly doesn't bother me. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

But if I have a companion for either of these activities, that's ok too.  

There is a restaurant in Sacramento, California with an "independent diner" policy. In an attempt to make their solo guests feel comfortable, if any of the staff accidently asks if you are "dining alone tonight", your meal is free.


----------



## Mei

lablady said:


> There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.
> 
> But if I have a companion for either of these activities, that's ok too.



I agree with you, that is the point. 

Mei


----------



## Javeke

lablady said:


> I go to see a movie alone frequently. It is my way of enjoying a brief escape from reality. I felt a little strange at first, but I soon noticed that there are also other solo viewers in the theater; many I see there regularly. I like to go when I am off shift during the week (and most people are at work or at school), so the theater is less crowded. There have been many times that I am the only person there. Now _that_ really felt strange the first time.
> 
> I also have no difficulty eating alone in a restaurant. Travelling for business taught me that I have a choice; I can eat alone in my hotel room or eat alone in a restaurant. I'd rather eat out. Once in a while I eat out alone when I am in my own neighborhood as well. I usually take a book or a crossword puzzle. As long as I don't spend my time staring at the other diners, I don't think it bothers anyone and it certainly doesn't bother me. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.
> 
> But if I have a companion for either of these activities, that's ok too.
> 
> There is a restaurant in Sacramento, California with an "independent diner" policy. In an attempt to make their solo guests feel comfortable, if any of the staff accidently asks if you are "dining alone tonight", your meal is free.


 
I just can't imagine such a situation happening in Spain, except for table allocation at the entrance.


----------



## geve

I prefer to eat at my place or at the office when I'm alone, but I can eat alone when I'm away (on a business trip for instance). I do this more likely at lunchtime than dinner time though, and I go to cafes and small restaurants rather than fancy restaurants because to me, the social part of going out for dinner is at least as important as the eating part.


San said:


> So, since it's difficult to me to believe in people being able either to go back home or to find company for dinner every single day in their lifes, I must conclude that for people who never dine alone in a restaurant is normal to have a day without dinner from time to time.


It's funny that you'd say that: I didn't have much to eat when I went to Chengdu (China) on my own!  I hadn't seen many people dining alone in formal restaurants there, and I'm pretty sure it would have got me a few stares. The informal restaurant (as an equivalent of our cafés and brasseries) was not an option because 1. I couldn't read a menu in Chinese (so would have had to go to places where they have a menu in English) 2. I wasn't sure I could pronounce "not too spicy please" the right way  and 3. People simply don't expect tourists to go to these places... this was confirmed when one night some natives of the city took me to one of these tiny places in a remote street, and the owner couldn't understand why on earth they had taken me to his place. He looked more annoyed than flattered I must say! 


fenixpollo said:


> And this from a society that purports to value individualism!


It's a good thing that people _do_ stuff individually, but eating isn't enough to keep one busy. So what are they expected to do in the meantime - to _think_??


----------



## fenixpollo

I'm in favor of the ability to dine alone without feeling self-conscious. That said, when I dine alone on business trips, I feel somewhat self-conscious.  

I tried to bring something to read, but then I felt even more lame.  I mean, why bring a book to a restaurant? Why go to a public place only to engage in a private activity?  You're better off ordering room service in your hotel.  The same thing goes for bringing work along with you. At some point, you have to leave it at the office.

Later, I practiced just being alone with myself and... thinking. You know, quality time with the Chicken.  That was as boring as hell, no offense to myself intended.

Now, I try to go to a restaurant where I know there will be other people dining alone -- preferably, one with a bar -- and I sit near other business travellers and chat. If there's nobody else, I chat with the bartender.  Now, I'm no longer dining alone... right?


----------



## geve

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> More seriously, why doing a private activity in public? I think the answer is as simple as it seems: to be admired.


You mean to eat? Why, but to get better food... better seating... better service! 
To observe people. To get out of this place (home, office, shopping mall...) where you've been stuck all morning/day/life. Because you don't have a kitchen. Because you haven't bought plates and knives and forks yet. Because you haven't done the washing-up in days. Because you suck at cooking and don't like delivery food. Because your neighbour is having a party and the music doesn't match the food you intended to eat. Because you have nowhere else to go and sit for a while. Because you really want a _soupe au chou_ but not the odor that sticks around afterwards. Because you secretly have a thing for waiter/waitress uniforms... Many reasons really!


----------



## KaRiNe_Fr

geve said:


> You mean to eat? Why, but to get better food... better seating... better service!
> To observe people. To get out of this place (home, office, shopping mall...) where you've been stuck all morning/day/life. Because you don't have a kitchen. Because you haven't bought plates and knives and forks yet. Because you haven't done the washing-up in days. Because you suck at cooking and don't like delivery food. Because your neighbour is having a party and the music doesn't match the food you intended to eat. Because you have nowhere else to go and sit for a while. Because you really want a _soupe au chou_ but not the odor that sticks around afterwards. Because you secretly have a thing for waiter/waitress uniforms... Many reasons really!


tsk... tsk... I mean not to eat, but to read! 
I agree with all your reasons, and more! It's why I never read when alone in a restaurant, there is so much to do to interact with your environment instead!


----------



## gaer

fenixpollo said:


> I mean, why bring a book to a restaurant? Why go to a public place only to engage in a private activity?


My reason: because my cooking totally sucks, and even if can cook something that does not taste awful, I hate doing the dishes!

Usually I can exist on "nuked food", but there have been times when there has been on food around. At such times I have driven to an all-night diner on many occasions with a book I was right in the middle of. 

Gaer


----------



## Etcetera

danielfranco said:


> I think this also happens in Europe, no? Sharing tables in restaurants with complete strangers? Yes?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yes.
> To say the truth, I don't like sharing a table with a complete stranger, but if there's a lot of people in the cafe or restaurant, what can I do but nod and take my bag off the next chair.
Click to expand...


----------



## mirx

I under no circumstances would eat alone in a restaurant in Mexico, I´d rather ask for the food to go and eat it at a park.

I haven't seen two strangers sharing a table in México, it would be just very akward, although I agree that if someone asked me to share my table I would defiitely say yes. I find it hard to say "no".

And no it´s not usual to see alone eaters in México, except for the "business people", all the rest would be looked at with pity.

If you go to a Mc Donalds, then that´s a different story it's always so busy that no one notices anyone.

Now, when I am abroad, I do go out to eat by myself without feeling guilty for being alone, I excuse me by saying that I don't know anyone in town to go out with.

The movies thing... I used to go to the movies by myself, and always told people that I was with a friend, even my family though that I was with someone. One of those ocassions that I went alone, I asked the ticket girl for *a *ticket. All she did was stare at me like she didn't understand what I said, then she eyed me up and down and finally looked past my shoulder like trying to see somebody behind me. Through all this time no one spoke a word, it was really uncomfortable. Then she stared right at my face and eventually asked the killer question. You mean only *a* ticket, right?

I have to admit that I felt tempted to say, No I meant two tickets I'm actually waiting for a friend. But I gathered my courage and said "Yes just one ticket please". She immediately changed her attitude I know she felt sorry, but the stone was thrown all the same. After that incident it became really easy to ask for only a ticket, I had past the test, and I also told people that i went to the movies by myself, one of my friends couldn't believe me, and started asking. Why do you go alone? what's the point? Don't poeple look at you strangely? What's on your mind when you do that?

And like my colombian friend said, In México too going to the movies is more than anything something social, when I tell my friends I went to the movies the question is not. "What movie did you watch?" but "Who did you go with?".

And yes, one ocassion, I was the only person in the room, and they turned off the screen because they thought there was no one in there, I was too embarrassed to ask them to put it back again, so I went into another projection instead.

The bar thing....

Always go with friends, one time I went by myself because I was trying to pick some chics, it worked out, so I felt really well. I had already planned I was going alone.

A couple of weeks ago I went alone to a bar, and this wasn't planned, so I told myself that I would pretend I had been dumped and needed to get drunk, I entered to the bar and saw another guy also alone, that made me feel less of a loser, and laugh a liitle bit about him. I ordered my drinks and focoused all my attention to the T.V. and I can tell you my friends that after the thrird vodka tonic, I didn't give a dime if any one saw me or pitied me.

I love being alone, in fact I live alone. But there are places made for groups, and restaurants, the movies, bars and discos are just some of them.

I now enjoy it, people still stare at me at the movies, but I don't care, and about the bar it turns out the it does work for some loners, I have met good friends there (when I've been by myself). 

I have now got used to eating by myself but when I first moved out of my parent's house, I think that's what I missed the most, so, that I actually avoided many meals and lost 6 kilos, eventually my stomach won over and now I don't even realize that I am eating alone.


----------



## KateNicole

What city do you live in?  In Guadalajara, I see people eating alone at "cenadurías" (you know, the little restaurants that people put up in their driveways, with tables and chairs) _all the time_.  Granted, these may not be considered "sit-down" restaurants, but the people do get waited on by a waiter or waitress, and are sitting down!  Maybe people don't feel bad because these are located in a neighborhood, so even if you go alone, you may know the people you are surrounded by and find something to talk about.


----------



## danielfranco

How things change! Going on by what Mirx mentions, if he hails from Mexico City also, there's a definitely different attitude about "alone-diners" from when I used to live in Mexico.

Then again, that was twenty years ago.


----------



## Lugubert

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?


Where I go, if it is even "seen", it isn't really noticed. People dont bother. In the rare case that a restaurant where I go is crowded, there might be a question if another party may share my table. No problem.

On the other hand, I must explain to you that, at least some years ago, if a mean value Swede walks into a restaurant and there's just one person sitting at one table, the new visitor will choose a table as far as possible from the other guy.I think the opposite would happen in Latin countries: The new guy would go for the loner and, asking or not, sit there.


----------



## winklepicker

Grop said:


> I find it sad to eat alone.


 
Best take something to read, as SallyB says. 

I love going to the cinema alone (especially in the afternoon): it seems like a huge self-indulgence, something one does just for one's own pleasure.


----------



## Etcetera

Lugubert said:


> On the other hand, I must explain to you that, at least some years ago, if a mean value Swede walks into a restaurant and there's just one person sitting at one table, the new visitor will choose a table as far as possible from the other guy.I think the opposite would happen in Latin countries: The new guy would go for the loner and, asking or not, sit there.


I havent's thought of it before, but it seems that most Russians would behave like Swedes.
I don't think I'll choose a table _as far as possible_, but I'll be sure to sit pretty far from the other lonely visitor.


----------



## Qcumber

Etcetera said:


> I havent's thought of it before, but it seems that most Russians would behave like Swedes.
> I don't think I'll choose a table _as far as possible_, but I'll be sure to sit pretty far from the other lonely visitor.


These are legends about Latin countries. Everywhere in the world strangers alone will sit at different tables. Only if the waiter requires them to sit at another person's table do they accept if there is no other possibility. Everybody can observe this in Italy and Spain.


----------



## GenJen54

KateNicole said:


> I think (but correct me if I'm wrong) that most Americans who are too uncomfortable to eat alone in a restaurant simply do not do so, but in most circumstances are not uncomfortable or overly concerned when seeing _other_ people do this.  I think we've accidentally made ourselves out to be more fixated on this than we actually are.



I couldn't agree with you more.  

I grew up as an only child (no brothers or sisters), and for most of my life, both parents worked, so I became accustomed to spending long intervals of time by myself. 

I find putting labels on people such as "anti-social" and/or "loner" because someone choses time away from other distractions in their life is casting them in an unfair light and supposing a judgment on them that most likely doesn't really exist. 

I crave time by myself, and have been going to dinners and movies "alone"' for years. In fact, in some respects, I rather enjoy the experience more than I enjoy going with other people. It gets me away from the noise others in my life create, and lets me experience something that is wholly and only for me. Call it my own selfish get-away, if you will, but on some days, I just "need" that time away. 

Not only that, but there are certain types of food I really enjoy that my husband doesn't like (i.e. Thai, Vietnamese, Korean). I use my alone time as an opportunity to partake in these little pleasures that I don't always get to enjoy when my husband and I go out together.

From time to time, I've managed to catch someone looking at me with a somewhat pitying smile, but I usually just smile back, go back into my book,  or whatever else I am working on, and not let it bother me.

As someone married to an only child who cannot stand being alone, I see an interesting contrast.


----------



## mytwolangs

Does anyone really notice anyone else out in public? 
I go to restaurants by myself or with company and I could care less what anyone else is doing, I am there to eat.


----------



## afabafa

Eating alone in restaurants, It isn´t bad maybe is a little unconfortable because I think It´s better if you have someone to talk or someone to say anything you want about the food or the restaurant. if you usually go to the movies alone is ok, but if you rarely do this i belive it´s boring because when the movie is over, what do you do? drive to your home just thinking about the movie or what, I think the best idea if you go to the movis is with someone, at least you have a little conversation after the movies with that person not only with yourself. I don´t see the point for go to the movies and don´t talk with someone else about the movie or not?


----------



## eduarodi

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?
> 
> Here in the U.S., at least in the Upper Midwest, people generally view it as something they'd be uncomfortable doing, and look upon others with pity for. Eating at the bar would probably be an exception.


I'd be uncomfortable, too. But I know that for some people it's not an option. Sometimes, people take an hour from work to eat, and that's their only choice. They're far away from their families and they cannot go home, because they don't have the time to do so, or the money for an extra ride home and back. So, it's weird, but it's a sign of the times we're living.


----------



## geve

afabafa said:


> Eating alone in restaurants, It isn´t bad maybe is a little unconfortable because I think It´s better if you have someone to talk or someone to say anything you want about the food or the restaurant. if you usually go to the movies alone is ok, but if you rarely do this i belive it´s boring because when the movie is over, what do you do? drive to your home just thinking about the movie or what, I think the best idea if you go to the movis is with someone, at least you have a little conversation after the movies with that person not only with yourself. I don´t see the point for go to the movies and don´t talk with someone else about the movie or not?


Do you never watch movies on TV by yourself, ie. with no one to comment the film with afterwards? 
I sometimes go to the movies alone, like winklepicker: during afternoons when I have a day off, as a sort of self-indulgence (when I know I should rather be doing a hundred more urgent things). But then the theater is only a ten minute-walk away so I have no time to get bored on the way back - and thinking really isn't as bad as it sounds.


----------



## afabafa

geve said:


> Do you never watch movies on TV by yourself, ie. with no one to comment the film with afterwards?
> I sometimes go to the movies alone, like winklepicker: during afternoons when I have a day off, as a sort of self-indulgence (when I know I should rather be doing a hundred more urgent things). But then the theater is only a ten minute-walk away so I have no time to get bored on the way back - and thinking really isn't as bad as it sounds.


 OK I seldon watch movies alone, but when it´s happend to me, of course I enjoy the movie, but I think is a different situation if you go to the theater alone, well for me It´s unconfortable maybe because I´m young and It´s weard see a young lady on the teather with no body to talk. It´s stranger but I live only a twenty minutes of the teather too but never in my short life I have gone to the teather by myself. 
maybe I need to try it...


----------



## StefanoT

If I just wanted to stay alone all the time, I wouldn't bother to go out in the first place! That is, supposing I had any choice, of course... And that is because, despite the fact that I love good movies and good food, I would feel lonely being solo among a crowd of people, each with a partner or in a group. As for the people staring, of course there are some, but as long as they are complete strangers I couldn't care less. Of course (yes, not only for women, dear topaze), it can become awkward finding yourself alone in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong persons looking upon you...


----------



## sloopjc

I never visited a restaurant on my own in the U.K. Walking in and expecting to hear the waiter say, "_Table for one, sir?_" would - if it ever happened - instil me with such a sense of esteem, as to have me thinking, "_Hell, what am I doing here on my own anyway?". _Most waiting staff would imagine you'd gone in to collect a takeaway /takeout I'm sure. 

In southern Spain, where I live, such is the family tradition for eating together at home and in large groups, that we only have the odd one or two Chinese restaurants in our town. It would be very rare to see a single diner where I live. Bars on the other hand are different. I think it's to do with the cutlery and condiments!


----------



## topaze

StefanoT said:


> ,  Of course (yes, not only for women, dear topaze), it can become awkward finding yourself alone in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong persons looking upon you...


 
Yes StefanoT,I fully understand your feelings about staying alone-
I only wanted to say that it is much more usual to  see men having dinner alone at restaurants than women.Especially in mediterranean countries .In the nordic side maybe the women are more confident but it  seems to be very infrequent.
Topaze-


----------



## Mafe Dongo

I love eating-out and going to the movies ALONE. I have a super busy life here in NY, and I am always looking for those couples of hours that I can be JUST with MYSELF. Having two jobs, a huge Colombian family (Eight female cousins around my age, a 3 years younger sis, divorced mom+more), and a boyfriend... I even love when I have no one to go to do my nails with.


----------



## maxiogee

sloopjc said:


> I never visited a restaurant on my own in the U.K. Walking in and expecting to hear the waiter say, "_Table for one, sir?_" would - if it ever happened - instil me with such a sense of esteem, as to have me thinking, "_Hell, what am I doing here on my own anyway?". _


Do you never check out a restaurant, alone, with a view to bringing someone there, at another time, as a guest?


----------



## PABLO DE SOTO

Hi,I live in southern Spain.
I live alone and I never dine alone in my hometown because I don't want to meet an acquaintance,or a friend that can see me in such a situation.
Lunch time in work days is different,and many workers or business people use to lunch alone,but not in every restaurant,only in those with a set menu.

But when I travel alone to foreign countries,and I use to do it for pleasure,not for business,I dine alone,and I really enjoy the meal.
But I am sure that when I am in London or Vienna on a Wednesday evening at a restaurant,I assume people think I am a business man.

When I travel abroad and I say to anyone that I do it for pleasure,I see that people do not really believe it and think it's not true,but if I say I am on business,no problem,it's a normal situation,so I say the last one

I am a man,I am 43


----------



## sloopjc

maxiogee said:


> Do you never check out a restaurant, alone, with a view to bringing someone there, at another time, as a guest?



To be honest, I'm a bit confused about the eating out thing. I believe there's more to it than just the fact that food in restaurants is prepared for you. It's such a basic instinct, eating in groups - one that we've long forgotten since prehistoric times, I'm sure.


----------



## Setwale_Charm

Guess what, it has never occured to me that such a thing may be a problem at all. I have only been to the cinema a couple of times in my life and always alone. Simply because if I go to the cinema, it is for watching films not for anything else, whatever you guys might have been talking about. With restaurants it is a bit different since I generally do not like eating out and do it only when I am meeting with someone, but then it is not so much for eating.
Obtaining some sort of service and socializing are two different things for me and I do not like to mix them.
A different point is that I am very much concerned with my privacy and in certain countries being alone in such places is almost like asking for persons of the opposite sex to approach. This is the problem.

However, I would have never thought that any negative associations, like the ones described in the first posts, could ever be attached to a person appearing alone. Come, you must be joking, not in a country like the US!


----------



## John-Paul

One of my favorite things to do in life is take a newspaper or a magazine, sit down in a cafe, have a beer and a little snack and just read. I guess everybody has his or her preferences, but this mine. There was this great bar in Rotterdam I used to go to after I bought a two week old really expensive copy of the New Yorker. I'd order a Belgian beer and a cigar and it really made me feel happy. Here in the US, I've tried to find places where you could do that, but to no avail. It's interesting. Remember Peter Greenaway's The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover? Americans didn't get that; a man, eating by himself whilst reading a book? How odd...


----------



## Setwale_Charm

John-Paul said:


> One of my favorite things to do in life is take a newspaper or a magazine, sit down in a cafe, have a beer and a little snack and just read. I guess everybody has his or her preferences, but this mine. There was this great bar in Rotterdam I used to go to after I bought a two week old really expensive copy of the New Yorker. I'd order a Belgian beer and a cigar and it really made me feel happy. Here in the US, I've tried to find places where you could do that, but to no avail. It's interesting. Remember Peter Greenaway's The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover? Americans didn't get that; a man, eating by himself whilst reading a book? How odd...


  Matter of fact, it was in Rotterdam that I first encountered such a practice in restaurants as asking the staff whether they could put you at special tables for clients who want to stay alone and not have anybody approaching or joining them. So, evidently, the issue does exist in our beloved Nederland as well.


----------



## John-Paul

I don't share the experience. But, as you know, the Netherlands is entirely self-seated. I've been asked once or twice, when the cafe was filling up to move to a smaller table in order to seat a larger group. Nobody cares who you are or if you are eating alone. My point was that here people stare - I'm not kidding. It even happened once that a group insisted I'd join them because I was sitting by myself. Very nice, of course, but I like to wind down in these places. Now I go to a local coffeeshop or the bookstore. If Starbucks would sell beer it would be my favorite place.


----------



## francophone

People feel pity for those who have to eat alone in a restaurant, I don't share that feeling except for the elderly, I won't feel pity for someone my age eating alone, why not, if no one is available to be my company, why not enjoy myself and do what I want to do, or what if I want to be alone, and it occurs to me.

Actually the experience of being alone is quite enchanting, you get to have better contact with the world around you, people feel they don't have to break the walls of your being involved already with others, they don't feel embarassed to talk to you specially if you are doing something interesting and have a big smile on your face. Looking friendly and all.

Sometimes I wan to eat out(like breakfast) and read something, it's distracting to have company when reading, and in a city like mine, you'll find people that know you and would like to join, you won't say no. Nothing goes as planned.

But people usually think that maybe you are depressed, or have no friends or a tourist, or a creep...


----------



## Etcetera

francophone said:


> People feel pity for those who have to eat alone in a restaurant <...>


Let me add: if these people don't eat uin restaurants alone. 
Those who often go to cafes and restaurants on their own usually don't regard it as something unusual.


----------



## badgrammar

I actually am a very solitary person.  I enjoy doing things by myself, including eating out or going to a movie.  I don't feel odd at all.  My husband, on the other hand, would absolutely hate to do that.  

Loner, yup.  I don't see anything negative about the term, as loners are often loners by choice, and perhaps even proud of it!


----------



## GEmatt

tvdxer said:


> How is eating alone in restaurants seen where you live?


It's seen differently depending on the occasion, here.

Lunch is the busier time, people are taking their hour's break from work, and the period from 12h to around 14h is generally used as a socializing or networking opportunity. Personally, this is something that puts me off my food, but if that turns some people on, then fine.

The evening meal is the calmer occasion, with some business people, but you also see groups of friends, or families out for a special treat, as much as individuals who may be just unwinding after a tough day.

At lunchtime, if you show up in a bustling, inner-city restaurant and ask for a table for one, not only will the serving staff not appreciate you taking up a table for yourself, when it could have seated at least two, but everyone else will regard you as somehow socially diseased.

In the evening, the atmosphere is much more relaxed; people do as they please, and noone will bat an eyelid if you are eating alone.

Personally, unless it's with good friends or family, I'd rather (and usually do) eat alone at lunch, since it's basically the only time of day I have for myself, and I can take my time over a nice prepared meal, and maybe read something, rather than juggle swallowing and talking about something I might not even care about.

For some reason, though, I'm a bit more shy about going to the movies alone. It just seems that the movie-going experience is a typically social one, whereas eating doesn't have to be.

GEmatt


----------



## roxcyn

I do that from time to time.  I like doing things with friends or other people, but if they don't go with me, I will go to a concert, movies, dinner, or whatever, all by myself.  What is the problem with that?  Especially if one doesn't have a mate and no one wants to attend...


----------



## roxcyn

badgrammar said:


> I actually am a very solitary person.  I enjoy doing things by myself, including eating out or going to a movie.  I don't feel odd at all.  My husband, on the other hand, would absolutely hate to do that.
> 
> Loner, yup.  I don't see anything negative about the term, as loners are often loners by choice, and perhaps even proud of it!



Amen!  I guess it depends on the person but my grandma told me when I was little: "If you really want to go somewhere and no one wants to go, just go alone.  That way you can experience it for yourself and you have the satisfaction that you did something you wanted to do."  Therefore, I would like to go with others, but if no one wants to them I am definately going solo .


----------



## roxcyn

jorge_val_ribera said:


> I have never gone to the movie theatre alone because for me the company is half the fun. If I *really* want to see a movie and no one can join me, I'd rather wait until it's released in DVD (which isn't a long time).
> 
> I've only heard of one person (a friend) who has ever gone to the movie theatre alone; it's not a common sight here.
> 
> About the restaurants... I have eaten at cafés alone, but I wouldn't go to a "good" restaurant by myself. There are some people here who are "pensionados" from restaurants, that is, people who pay a monthly ammount to eat there (alone) everyday.
> 
> As for being alone at discos... Been there. Awkward as hell.



Well I can tell you I went to the theatre alone as well!  However, I don't think I would go to a fancy restaurant alone, spending all that money on myself?  But a normal restaurant, if I really wanted to go I would go by myself .  The discotheque?  Hm, I don't think I would go alone there either but if it was a place I wanted to experience, sure why not?

By the way I am from Ohio, USA.  I think you all asked what place you are from, so there you are .


----------



## Etcetera

roxcyn said:


> Amen!  I guess it depends on the person but my grandma told me when I was little: "If you really want to go somewhere and no one wants to go, just go alone.  That way you can experience it for yourself and you have the satisfaction that you did something you wanted to do."


Your grandmother was a very wise woman!


----------



## roxcyn

Etcetera said:


> Your grandmother was *is* a very wise woman!



She's still alive .  You are right about her!


----------



## sokol

Well, I've absolutely no idea why I'm suddenly subscribed to this posting, but be it: it's an interesting thread, anyway!

As for *eating alone in Austria:*

This is considered an absolutely normal habit in Vienna, the capital of Austria, and (probably to a lesser degree) in other cities up from a certain size.
But I think it's nowhere in Austria similarly common than in Vienna. Even more common, however, is drinking a café or beer alone in a Viennese café.

But in smaller cities and rural Austria it is much more unusual to sit alone in a restaurant. People will suppose you're probably a businessman travelling alone, and if you don't fit into this group it is very likely that in small villages the landlord might try to involve you in a friendly way into a conversation as to why you are there all on your own, especially if you're obviously not from this village.
(If you _are _from this village, the landlord might join you on the table, if he isn't too busy with other guests; this, too, might happen in lower class restaurants in Vienna, by the way.)


----------



## avok

Eating alone is totally normal here, especially in casual restaurants, cafés. I guess, I even see more people who eat alone.

The movies alone? I always go to the movies on my own because friends / family members always talk during the film and my taste for films is mostly weird for them


----------



## sokol

avok said:


> The movies alone? I always go to the movies on my own because friends / family members always talk during the film and my taste for films is mostly weird for them



That's exactly my attitude as well!

Unfortunately, none of my friends has _quite _my taste for films, and some of them even enjoy eating popcorn in the movie theatre which is a complete no-no for me. And so I go alone.
You'll also see women doing this which I don't think anyone here in Austria would consider odd, though for the most part cinemas are visited by couples and groups here in Austria.


----------



## Mate

*Moderator note:* 

This thread is not about cinemas, popcorn, taste for films, discos, etc. 
It's topic is clear and simple: *Eating alone in restaurants*

Participants are kindly asked to stick to that topic as much as they possibly can.

Thanks

Mateamargo
Cultural Discussions mod


----------



## Zsanna

I think we could say that in Europe (now also Hungary added to the list), by and large, it is not a problem if people go to eat alone in a restaurant. 
(The only time somebody warned me gently about not doing so was in Spain but then people do speak their mind there which I find more important than such "details"...)

I wonder if it was within the scope of this topic to try to identify the different social traits that can influence such a thing. 
I'm thinking specially about the difference in European and American mentality, social traits (even if it is probably more complicated than that). 

I don't know exactly how to "label" (although it would be practical now! the phenomenon I find "tipically American" that includes a very strong pressure on the individual (e.g. about how to behave) coming from his environment that is unknown in Europe (eating out alone being part of this). 
It always seemed to me so contradictory to the "country of liberty" especially because I first became aware of it during the socialist era in Hungary (there were a few Americans students at our university even at the time but American films and literature pointed towards that direction, too). That sort of pressure was even institutionalised in Hungary at the time but even so it was less strong in our society.


----------



## Guillote1

Well, it all depends on the sort of restaurant. But in most places it is cool to be eating alone. There's a grill just two blocks away from my building that I go to by myself quite frequently at dinner, when I don't feel like cooking or having junk food take-out. 
Sometimes, when I can't seem to focus at home, there's a McDonald's nearby that is a great study place. Sometimes I'll spend several hours on my own, studying. In some parts of town, McDonalds are actually filled with college students, either alone or in groups.


----------



## tvdxer

I'm very pleased at how many responses my original post got.

Zsanna's comment is interesting: I don't know if it'd really be valid to say that American culture places more pressure on the individual to act a certain away than "European" culture (if there is such a thing).  I think the "rationale" behind disliking or feeling strange solo dining is that 1) when you go out to eat, you do it socially, with at least one other person (and for many people, whenever they go out for entertainment they typically go with another person), and 2) therefore, not doing so makes you a "loner", who might be looked at with pity (where's the friend that's supposed to be there?  Why are you all alone?  Poor thing!).  Perhaps there is a certain bias against loners in general in American culture.  A person who doesn't go out and do things socially might be said to "not have a life".

I also didn't mention in my first post (or anywhere else, I think) that certain types of restaurants in the U.S. are better suited to the solo diner than others.  I would not feel at all uncomfortable solo dining at a fast food joint or cafe with bar stool-type seating, more uncomfortable at a smaller, family / locally-run place that isn't too busy, most uncomfortable at a large chain restaurant or perhaps a "romantic" or fancy high-end locale.


----------



## Packard

Forty years ago, when I started out in sales, I met a old pro who taught me to read while eating alone.

He said, "Bring a magazine or a newspaper with you when you eat alone.  If you don't you will either eat too fast or you will start to stare at other patrons.  Neither are good things."

From my experience:  Magazines and Newspapers are best.  They lay flat when you need both hands for your knife an fork for cutting a steak.

Hard cover books are sometimes OK.  But most will turn pages while you try to cut your steak.  

For hard cover books and paperback books it is best to eat "one handed meals".  That would be pizza pies, Chinese food, and omelets.

I eat alone in restaurants frequently.  I always bring along something to read.


----------



## redviolin

Interesting topic.
Here in Brazil I'd say that it's quite common to eat alone in restaurants during lunch time, in work days, specially in self-service restaurants or fast-food chains.
But I believe that for dinner it's more unusual to see lone diners, and one might feel uncomfortable or self-conscious on doing so, since dining out is considered to be more of a social experience.


----------

