# amar / querer



## Unregistered

if someone says "te quiero" does it mean they "love" me me or they "like" me?
when would I use "amar"?
thanks!


----------



## jacinta

Te quiero means "I love you".  Te amo is a deeper love and is not as readily used as the former.  You could say that "te quiero" is more informal than "te amo" but they mean the same thing.


----------



## Edher

I would say that people use 'Te quiero' to form a minor bond between them. In other words, when they're beginning to notice that they have romantic feelings for each other. However, it's not a great step in the relationship as when you say 'Te amo.'
 That's usually said when you are completly sure about how you feel and you are ready to form another connection, most likely physical.
'Te quiero' literally means 'I want you.' Yet I wouldn't say the correct translation is 'I like you' because in Spanish that would be 'Me caes bien' which is something you could tell a stranger that you just met and liked. Nothing serious in other words. So, the correct translation in my opinion of 'Te quiero' is 'I care for you' which literally means 'Me importas.' Suggestions and comparisons are welcome.


----------



## charoly

I'd add something else, depending on the country, one or another may be used... like in spain it seems that we use more the querer for "expressing verbally" your love to some person or animal, and amar in the infinitive. te amo sounds more from argentina (el grupo les luthiers por ejemplo) to me, now, is that true? what different spanish-speaking nationalities use for looooove. what about in mexico?


----------



## DeMaty

Según mi novia mexicana, "te quiero" se use para los familiaros y amigos. "Te amo" se use para los enamorados.

According to my Maxican girlfriend, "te quiero" is used for family and friends. "Te amo" is used only for those who are in love.

Basically, amar is to love romantically.


----------



## lupe

what about in peru?


----------



## TexasT

DeMaty said:
			
		

> According to my Maxican girlfriend, "te quiero" is used for family and friends. "Te amo" is used only for those who are in love.
> 
> Basically, amar is to love romantically.


Well, not really, since people also say quite often "Amo a mis padres" ("I love my parents") and also parents use it when referring to their children.

In some countries _te amo_ and _te quiero _may be synonymous and pretty much interchangeable, but in general I'd say that _te amo _is used less often than _te quiero_ or _te quiero mucho_, and it's used to express a deeper love or connection between people - and also when referring to the love for one's country.

TexasT


----------



## DeMaty

I was refering specifically to Mexico. Many other countries do use it as you stated, but she was quite clear, and I have heard elsewhere as well, that _in Mexico_ te amo is only for lovers, not family. However, the pet name mi amor (my love) may be used for anyone you are very close to, like children or lovers.


----------



## TexasT

DeMaty said:
			
		

> I was refering specifically to Mexico. Many other countries do use it as you stated, but she was quite clear, and I have heard elsewhere as well, that _in Mexico_ te amo is only for lovers, not family. However, the pet name mi amor (my love) may be used for anyone you are very close to, like children or lovers.


_In Mexico_ it is indeed used for family, God and one's neighbors (as in "love thy neighbor"), country, and even animals (although more in general than in referring to one's pet).

You don't have to take my word for it: I've quoted some examples below, and a Google search will find more for you if these aren't enough. 

Family:
México, DF (Notimex).- La familia artística mexicana estará de manteles largos este 20 de junio, fecha en que celebrará a destacadas figuras del canto y la actuación en "El día del padre". [...] Vicente Fernández, creador de un estilo propio y dueño de una singular personalidad, el intérprete está considerado por la crítica especializada como una de las grandes estrellas del medio artístico mexicano [...] "Mi papá siempre fue muy valiente, en realidad fuimos nueve los hijos encargados, pero sólo cuatro nos logramos y es que mi mamá tiene sangre tipo RH negativo, quizá por eso. *Amo a mi papá y a los hermanos* tan maravillosos que me dio", comentó a Notimex Vicente Jr. http://www.terra.com.mx/entretenimiento/articulo/136578/​God and one's neighbors:  


[...] los diez Mandamientos de la Ley de Dios. El primero es básico, y de él se deriva el segundo: _Amarás a Dios con todo tu corazón, con toda tu alma y con toda tu mente, y a tu prójimo como a ti mismo_ (_Lc_ *10,* 27). Si *amo a mis prójimos*, no les haré ni les desearé algo malo; todo lo contrario, buscaré la manera de hacerles el bien, por lo menos les sonreiré... en lo que encuentro la forma de ayudarlos. Y *amando a mis prójimos*, que son hijos de Dios, *amo a Dios*. http://arquimorelia.diocesisdecelaya.org.mx/comunidad_cristiana/art.php?artid=540​Country:*Amo a mi Patria* por el ejemplo de sus héroes y de sus hijos ilustres, por el amparo que me da su tierra,
por la belleza de su arte
y la nobleza de sus tradiciones.

_"Ideario de la Méxicanidad"_
Rodolfo F. Nieva López
http://www.mexicolindo.org.mx/​Animals:Me gusta la gente [...] Gente que ama y tiene nostalgias, le gustan los amigos, cultiva flores, *ama los animales*, admira paisajes, la poesía y sabe escuchar. [...] Me gusta la gente como tú! Colaboración de Gabriel Nuñez de León, Gto., México. [Google cache - site has disappeared] http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:fi8lU0pMPO4J:www.pensamientos.com.mx/re602.htm+site:.mx+%22ama+los+animales%22&hl=en​But, as I said before, in general _te amo _is used less often than _te quiero_ or _te quiero mucho_, and it's used to express a deeper love or connection which is *not* limited to a romantic sense.  
TexasT


----------



## DeMaty

Very interesting. There must be differing opinions about it even within Mexico, because she and two of her friends, have stated clearly that it is specifically romantic love, and would in fact be inappropriate for one to say it to a family member. I also know she loves her children as deeply as anyone may, and has never [edit: in my presence] said te amo to or les amo about them. Yet obviously, some Mexicans disagree.

I'm just glad she says it to/about me.


----------



## encántame

you can 'te quiero' anyone or anything, and it is a real love, not just wishy washy.   But save 'te amo' for 'I'm desperately in love with you' relationships.


----------



## Kar

Yo tengo la misma duda... cuando quiero decirlo en inglés: ¿Es apropiado utilizar "I love you" para decirle a un amigo que le quieres?


----------



## jacinta

Un BUEN amigo, claro que si.  Si usted es romatica, ?por que no?  Hay solamente una manera de decir "I love you" en ingles.  Con nuestros hijos y animalitos, muy liberalmente.  Con los demas, con cuidado.


----------



## Delirium

Edher said:
			
		

> 'Te quiero' literally means 'I want you.' Yet I wouldn't say the correct translation is 'I like you' because in Spanish that would be 'Me caes bien' which is something you could tell a stranger that you just met and liked. Nothing serious in other words. So, the correct translation in my opinion of 'Te quiero' is 'I care for you' which literally means 'Me importas.' Suggestions and comparisons are welcome.



Your observations are quite correct.  However, I want to add that "I want you", while being the literal translation of "Te quiero", is not the correct one.  When someone feels lust for someone else, a purely physical attraction, the expression is "Te deseo".

"Te quiero" can be both for family and friends as well as for lovers/girlfriend/boyfriend.  It's snynonymous with "Te amo".  However, it's not true the other way around.  For instance, I would not tell a friend of mine, or even my parents, "Te amo". Because "Te amo" involves romantic love and physical passion.

It's true that one can say "Amo a mis padres", but that's because the phrase is not being directed at the parents themselves, but rather is an expression that stands on its own.

I'd love to read more comments 

~*Tess*~


----------



## Mary Solari

Personally, being from Argentina and having lived in Spain for donkey's years, I think that you never actually say: "Te amo" in these two varieties of Spanish. It sounds like a Latinamerican soap opera (a "culebrón", did you know the term?) We speak of el amor a Dios, but we say "alguien a quien le gustan los animales" for "animal lover". 
"Te amo" sounds very corny.


----------



## funnydeal

I am mexican.

We use "te quiero mucho" and "te amo" almost as synonims, but always "te amo" means a deeper feeling.

We use "amar" not only for a love or romantic relationship, here it is used for relatives (amo a mis padres), country (amo a mi país), etc...

Hope it make sense,  my english is not good enough ..... yet


----------



## Lenu

If someone would like to say that he/she likes you he/she should say "me gustas".

In theory if they say "Te quiero" they are saying "I want you" but what they probably want to say is "I love you". 

I think that these are feelings sometimes not easy to distinguish...


Please, correct my mistakes


----------



## lluvia

Como escribir "I love you dad"

Te amo papa ----right? sorry I couldn't use the accent mark.  

What about 
I want to say---- 
Yo quiero decir
o
Yo deseo decir


----------



## Lenu

lluvia said:
			
		

> Como escribir "I love you dad"
> 
> Te amo papa ----right? sorry I couldn't use the accent mark.
> 
> What about
> I want to say----
> Yo quiero decir
> o
> Yo deseo decir



En España diríamos: Te quiero papá
Te amo se reserva más para amor de amantes y podría sonar un poco incestuoso (aunque no es incorrecto).

También en España se utiliza más corrientemente "quiero decir" que "deseo decir", yo particularmente utilizaría "deseo decir" cuando me gustaría decir algo pero no me atrevo (por ejemplo), y "quiero decir" cuando explico lo que estoy diciendo

No se si me explico bien...


----------



## lluvia

IF IN SPAIN "QUERER" IS BEING USED AS LOVE TOWARDS YOUR PARENTS ,FRIENDS,KIDS.
AND "AMAR" IS BEING USED FOR LOVE TOWARDS YOUR WIFE ,GIRLFRIEND,
BOYFRIEND.
THEN IS IT THE SAME IN ALL HISPANIC WORLD
OR ITS DIFFERENT FOR SOUTH AMERICA AND MEXICO.  

IF SO WHAT WILL BE THE PERFECT WORD TO USE SO THAT ONE CAN USE THE APPROPIATE WORD"AMAR O QUERER" FOR THE APPROPIATE PERSON.
AND IF SUPPOSE ONE USES THE OTHER WORD WILL IT TURN OUT TO BE A SLANG.
I AM GETTING VERY CONFUSED ,PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
AT FIRST I USED TO THINK "LOVE"ONLY MEANS "AMAR" BUT NOW THAT I HAVE LEARNED ANOTHER WORD "QUERER" I AM TOTALLYYYYYYYYY
CONFUSED.


----------



## Lenu

lluvia said:
			
		

> IF IN SPAIN "QUERER" IS BEING USED AS LOVE TOWARDS YOUR PARENTS ,FRIENDS,KIDS.
> AND "AMAR" IS BEING USED FOR LOVE TOWARDS YOUR WIFE ,GIRLFRIEND,
> BOYFRIEND.
> THEN IS IT THE SAME IN ALL HISPANIC WORLD
> OR ITS DIFFERENT FOR SOUTH AMERICA AND MEXICO.
> 
> IF SO WHAT WILL BE THE PERFECT WORD TO USE SO THAT ONE CAN USE THE APPROPIATE WORD"AMAR O QUERER" FOR THE APPROPIATE PERSON.
> AND IF SUPPOSE ONE USES THE OTHER WORD WILL IT TURN OUT TO BE A SLANG.
> I AM GETTING VERY CONFUSED ,PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
> AT FIRST I USED TO THINK "LOVE"ONLY MEANS "AMAR" BUT NOW THAT I HAVE LEARNED ANOTHER WORD "QUERER" I AM TOTALLYYYYYYYYY
> CONFUSED.



In Spain you can use "amar" o "querer" to say "I love you" to your boyfrend..., but we usually say "querer". "Amar" sounds a bit "too romantic", it depends on how much you love ...

To any other person you should only use "querer" (at least in Spain)

I don't know if it will help you...


----------



## lluvia

In Spain you can use "amar" o "querer" to say "I love you" to your boyfrend..., but we usually say "querer". "Amar" sounds a bit "too romantic", it depends on how much you love ...

To any other person you should only use "querer" (at least in Spain)

I don't know if it will help you...
*****************************************************

THANKS LENU.

NOW IF AMAR DEPENDS UPON HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THE PERSON THEN 
WHY CANT ONE USE AMAR BECAUSE WE KNOW WE LOVE OUR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS HOW MUCH.
WELL IN CASE OF BOY/GIRL FRIEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN LOVE MAY RUN AWAY BUT IT WILL NOT BE SO WITH THEM.
RIGHT AND WHAT'S USED IN ESTADOS UNIDOS.


----------



## Gabriel

The following is true for Argentina, but I thin it would fit well anywhere else too.

Amo has two meanings. One that you feel love for someone, and the other one that you like very much (or love) something or doing something. Just like in English: "I love Jane", I love you", and "I love surfing", "I love the sea". Most of the examples in the post by TexasT fall in this second category (amo a mi prógimo, amo a mi país, amo los animales). In this case you allways say "Amo algo/a alguien/hacer algo"

To express love for smeone, we reserve "Te amo" only for the deepest cases, mostly related to romatic love and only once the relationship is strong. You would rarely say "Te amo" to your mother (it is a bit more frequent, but still not the most ususal, that the mother says so to her child). You will definitively not say "Te amo" to a friend. He/she would think another thing if you do so (like that you love him/her romantically). Note that you may perfectly say "Amo a mis amigos", but never "Te amo, amigo". For that one would say "Te quiero". But even that expression is not very frequent maybe because it migh sound strange if the situation is not clear, as "te quiero" is also very used in romatic love (deep or not). Unfortunately, at least in Argentina it is not very usual to tell a friend "Te quiereo".

Something between "Te quiero" and "Te amo" would be "Te quiero mucho". Maybe this is the most ususal way between relatives, and also between lovers before the relationship gets really serious.

Just my point of view.


----------



## lluvia

GRACIAS TODOS.
ATLAST I SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE PUZZLE OF AMAR AND QUERER.
LOVE IS KNOWN TO BE COMPLICATED,WELL IT EXACTLY SEEMS SO.


----------



## Solitario

I quite agree with Jacinta in the sense that "amar" expresses a deeper feeling toward people and I should add animals and things, though usually we use "querer" with a similar meaning, but lacking strength. 
Here in Peru, in an informal relationship (where no real feeling of love is involved) it is quite common to use: "Te quiero" (it's more a feeling of friendship).
However, we also say: "Te amo Peru", "Tenemos que aprender a amar y valorar nuestras costumbres ancestrales".


----------



## Ultimatum479

I guess it must be something in North/South/Central America to use amor as romantic love and querir in less strong cases. Everyone on my mother's side of the family is Dominican, and they all seem to agree with that. I don't have any relatives from Spain, though...


----------



## Lancel0t

hello guys,

i hope this thread will help you more about the topic. 

http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=5143&highlight=quiero


----------



## Maeron

DeMaty said:
			
		

> According to my Mexican girlfriend, "te quiero" is used for family and friends. "Te amo" is used only for those who are in love.



I've heard this explanation before, but on _Mirada de Mujer_ (if your girlfriend was in Mexico around 1998, she'll know this show; ask her about it), María Inés would often say "_Te amo, Alex_" to her boyfriend's young son (about 10 or 12 years old). So I am still puzzled.

On another note, there is also _te quiero mucho_, which is another step beyond _te quiero_, and I would put that as a really close equivalent to "I love you."


----------



## cuchuflete

Unregistered said:
			
		

> if someone says "te quiero" does it mean they "love" me me or they "like" me?
> when would I use "amar"?
> thanks!


On page 3 of this thread you will find a link to another wonderful thread on the same topic.  When I have extremely, unusually deep feelings towards another person (romantic), I say, "Te adoro."

Cuchufléte


----------



## masha81

I have a good one, my ex is from mexico and when we broke up he said: Te quiero, pero no te amo...nice, huh?


----------



## Beatriz Viterbo

lluvia said:
			
		

> IF IN SPAIN "QUERER" IS BEING USED AS LOVE TOWARDS YOUR PARENTS ,FRIENDS,KIDS.
> AND "AMAR" IS BEING USED FOR LOVE TOWARDS YOUR WIFE ,GIRLFRIEND,
> BOYFRIEND.
> THEN IS IT THE SAME IN ALL HISPANIC WORLD
> OR ITS DIFFERENT FOR SOUTH AMERICA AND MEXICO.
> 
> IF SO WHAT WILL BE THE PERFECT WORD TO USE SO THAT ONE CAN USE THE APPROPIATE WORD"AMAR O QUERER" FOR THE APPROPIATE PERSON.
> AND IF SUPPOSE ONE USES THE OTHER WORD WILL IT TURN OUT TO BE A SLANG.
> I AM GETTING VERY CONFUSED ,PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
> AT FIRST I USED TO THINK "LOVE"ONLY MEANS "AMAR" BUT NOW THAT I HAVE LEARNED ANOTHER WORD "QUERER" I AM TOTALLYYYYYYYYY
> CONFUSED.



I think there are a lot of different uses. It depends on each country.
I am from Argentina. I can say "amo a los animales" o "quiero a los animales". Both expressions mean I like them or I love them, I have feelings for them, I care, etc.

But, but.. I think the main difference is the second person: I would only say "te amo" to my boyfriend or lover. I do not say "te amo" to my father but "te quiero".

The differences between one expression and the other can be discussed, but I am almost sure that nobody says "te amo" to his-her pet, parents, etc. You keep that phrase for a romantic declaration.


----------



## Cecilio

Hi!

One single remark: Sentences like "I love dancing" or "I love swimming" would be translated as: "Me encanta bailar/nadar, etc". "Me encanta" is equivalent to "Me gusta mucho". I would never say "Amo bailar/nadar". However, it would be possible to say "Amo el baile", or "Amo la natación". In those cases you seem to be more committed.

On the other hand, it would be very odd to say "Te amo" to someone in Spain. And a bit ridiculous. Nobody would ever use this sentence in a normal situation. "Te quiero" looks like the only 'possibility here. But it is different in other places. For example, I once had a friend from Venezuela, and when she wrote to me she used the expression "Te extraño" (="I miss you"), which is rather "extraño" for me! In Spain we would say "Te echo de menos". There is also another word: "Te añoro", but this ones sounds a bit mushy, like "Te amo".


----------



## Sidd

I think there is a main point missing here. In Spain we don't make a big deal of saying "I love you" to someone you are dating. It's not a big step like 
it is in US at least. It's simply different,(for us, the proposal it's not that important either).

For instance, when I explained to my friends about the TV show  "The L word" they didn't know that saying 
"I love you" is a very important step in US but also that you are suppose to be answered "I love you too" or something like that in return.

It's a cultural issue.  I have never told my girlfriend "Te amo" and I'm sure if I did she would laugh. 

Maybe countries closer to the states have some transference in their culture.


Bottom line, when speaking to a person you are dating "I love you" means more for US people (I don't know in UK) than for spanish, but that has nothing to do with the translation you choose.


So, as I see it, the translation of "I love you" is "Te quiero" BUT if you want to include in the translation the deeper meaning of what is happening when a person says "I love you" in the US (in a relationship) you will need more than "Te quiero" and it's then when you hear "Te amo" even though it is not common in spanish (And, as said before, sounds corny).

In the movies the translation they use for "I love you" is always just "Te quiero"


----------



## cantante

Sidd said:
			
		

> I think there is a main point missing here. In Spain we don't make a big deal of saying "I love you" to someone you are dating. It's not a big step like
> it is in US at least. It's simply different,(for us, the proposal it's not that important either).
> 
> For instance, when I explained to my friends about the TV show "The L word" they didn't know that saying
> "I love you" is a very important step in US but also that you are suppose to be answered "I love you too" or something like that in return.
> 
> It's a cultural issue. I have never told my girlfriend "Te amo" and I'm sure if I did she would laugh.
> 
> Maybe countries closer to the states have some transference in their culture.
> 
> 
> Bottom line, when speaking to a person you are dating "I love you" means more for US people (I don't know in UK) than for spanish, but that has nothing to do with the translation you choose.
> 
> 
> So, as I see it, the translation of "I love you" is "Te quiero" BUT if you want to include in the translation the deeper meaning of what is happening when a person says "I love you" in the US (in a relationship) you will need more than "Te quiero" and it's then when you hear "Te amo" even though it is not common in spanish (And, as said before, sounds corny).
> 
> In the movies the translation they use for "I love you" is always just "Te quiero"


 

Hi Sidd,
I´m not sure if I got you right. Do you mean that you don´t say "te quiero" when you´re dating someone or that you easily say it to any girl you´re dating and it doesn´t mean that much. Not as it would in the US if you said "I love you" to your date.

Saludos
Cantante


----------



## bembemmaria

I would also like to say that a lot of this depends on the inflection and the cultural situation.  (Quick background - I am from the US, have lots of Mexican friends, but currently live in Argentina and was dating a Colombian, am now dating a Peruvian, best friends are all Argentines and Ecuadorians - WHEW!)  

Quick note on Argentina: For example, I have seen people on the forums say that Argentina does not use _Amar_ that much, and not between friends.  But I am certain that when we threw a birthday party for my friends, she did not say _Te quiero_, sino _Te reeeeeee amooooooo_.  I have _never_ actually heard one of my friends in the UCA (Universidad Católica Argentina) say _Te Quiero_, only _Te amo._ 

I have dated a lot of latin guys from lots of different countries, and usually after one of them says something along those lines, I take the opportunity to ask - ¿What exactly does that mean?

The general explanation is that _between lovers_, there are three phases.  Gustar, Querer, Amar.  Gustar is the ´like´phase, the ´caer bien´or ´llevar bien´sort of thing.  Querer is somewhere between the English ideas of _I like you a lot_ and _I love you_, I usually thing of it as something like _I have a crush on you_ or _I´m sweet on you_.  Corny, yes, but its a better indication of what exactly what we´re dealing with here.  Amar, is love, flat out. 

That said, it really really really depends on context.  This is between lovers, but between friends, for example, which a person uses really depends on that person.  As anyone that has been to a foreign country for a while will tell you, often hard and fast rules are anything but.  Friends that are girls are often more expressive.  I have noticed, that with my particular friends, I heard ´te amo´a ton... in super romantic moments with a boyfriend, I often get something along the lines of ´te quiero, amor mio.´ So the answer, like so many things, is 

_Depends_.


----------



## romamelsa

¡Hola!,me ha parecido muy interesante el debate sobre amar/querer. Estoy bastante de acuerdo con Bembemmaria y con su explicación. Pero no me parece, como han comentado, que en España decir "Te quiero" no sea un paso importante en la relación. Es verdad que amar es algo más profundo, pero no a cualquier persona con la que salimos le decimos que la queremos. "Te amo" también lo he oído entre amigas pero en un contexto más cariñoso y casi en broma. En fin, los matices son infinitos... 
Un saludo para todos.


----------



## Sidd

cantante said:
			
		

> Hi Sidd,
> I´m not sure if I got you right. Do you mean that you don´t say "te quiero" when you´re dating someone or that you easily say it to any girl you´re dating and it doesn´t mean that much. Not as it would in the US if you said "I love you" to your date.
> 
> Saludos
> Cantante


 
We don't say "te quiero" to our dates that much (actually, "dating" is something I wrote for being short, but that concept doesn't fit the spanish culture either, maybe another thread...) but we do say it a lot more than US people do, and so it's not like you are saying that much. 

In spain you can say "te quiero" to a fairly new girlfriend because otherwise she get upset. And a week after saying that you can be cheating on her. 
I've never done that, but I happens. It's not better or worse it's different.

for instance, when teenagers want to score with a girl in a disco they can use that word to fool the girl (I've seen friends of mine do that a lot).



But again "te amo" doesn't sound ok for me.


----------



## Fernando

I... am ... just... appalled ... for... your... big... experience.... guys.

From my (naive?) approach to the topic, you use "Te quiero" only with boy/girlfriends with whom have a relation. The success of Sid's friend (not Sid, of course) was partly due (I assume) to the fact that girls really believed his friend was actually in love with them.

Disco tactics aside, saying "Te quiero" means a lot.

But... maybe... I am... just... a romantic. (violins sounding here).


----------



## cantante

Fernando said:
			
		

> I... am ... just... appalled ... for... your... big... experience.... guys.
> 
> From my (naive?) approach to the topic, you use "Te quiero" only with boy/girlfriends with whom have a relation. The success of Sid's friend (not Sid, of course) was partly due (I assume) to the fact that girls really believed his friend was actually in love with them.
> 
> Disco tactics aside, saying "Te quiero" means a lot.
> 
> But... maybe... I am... just... a romantic. (violins sounding here).


 
Hi Sidd and Fernando,
now it´s getting reaaaallllly interesting!!!
I´m glad you´re a romantic Fernando )) (I can hear those violins, too...) that helps me not to lose my faith in Spanish guys.

But now I´d really like to know about the Spanish way of dating, Sidd.
Do I need to open up a new thread?

Cantante


----------



## Sidd

Fernando said:
			
		

> Disco tactics aside, saying "Te quiero" means a lot.



     

I was just trying to make a point there.  The fact someone uses this sentence as "disco tactics" (loved that) and that someone falls for it, shows my point.

Guess it didn't come out right jejejejejejeje

The fact that "Te quiero" means a lot doesn't mean my previous post is wrong. "Te quiero" matters for me, but through my experience with english (mostly US) culture I'd say it is quite different from the feeling they have. It's not that important for me. I didn't have to spend any time thinking wether or not should I tell my girlfriend "the L word". It was pretty clear...

Actually, now that I come to think of it, 
Why do you, english people out there, make such a big deal of something like that (saying "I love you" for the first time)?, is it because your dating doesn't implies the love itself?


----------



## cantante

Sidd said:
			
		

> I was just trying to make a point there. The fact someone uses this sentence as "disco tactics" (loved that) and that someone falls for it, shows my point.
> 
> Guess it didn't come out right jejejejejejeje
> 
> The fact that "Te quiero" means a lot doesn't mean my previous post is wrong. "Te quiero" matters for me, but through my experience with english (mostly US) culture I'd say it is quite different from the feeling they have. It's not that important for me. I didn't have to spend any time thinking wether or not should I tell my girlfriend "the L word". It was pretty clear...
> 
> Actually, now that I come to think of it,
> Why do you, english people out there, make such a big deal of something like that (saying "I love you" for the first time)?, is it because your dating doesn't implies the love itself?


 

Good morning, Sidd,

from my experience with my American friends and my own (it´s very similar in Germany) I can tell you that "the L word" means committment. After you´ve said it, your relationship is on a deeper level of committment. When you start dating someone you´re attracted to that person, maybe starting to fall in love, or only interested in her/him.  But after saying "I love you" you can´t date somebody else the next day, it would be cheating.

But now to the Spanish way, Sidd. Tell us all about it!

Cantante


----------



## el_empollon

Good evening,

I'm somewhat in agreement with you, cantante.

In my own personal experience, having lived here in Canada most of my life, I still find it somewhat difficult to use "the L word" with just anyone. I'd say it would have to be someone I felt I was ready to make a committment to, or if they're family members or people I've grown up with. I probably wouldn't just walk up to one of my best friends, regardless of how strong our friendship is, and tell her the "L word", because it seems to have a seriousness about it. 

Un saludo


----------



## Lola-Mocha

cantante said:


> Good morning, Sidd,
> 
> from my experience with my American friends and my own (it´s very similar in Germany) I can tell you that "the L word" means committment. After you´ve said it, your relationship is on a deeper level of committment. When you start dating someone you´re attracted to that person, maybe starting to fall in love, or only interested in her/him. But after saying "I love you" you can´t date somebody else the next day, it would be cheating.
> 
> But now to the Spanish way, Sidd. Tell us all about it!
> 
> Cantante



Estoy de acuerdo!  

'The L Word' is a huge, huge deal for me in romantic relationships. Part of it is my mom being a diehard Filipina Catholic... so I remember somewhere in the Bible, it defines love as an incredibly deep level of understanding and ability to forgive one another, through anything and anything, no matter what (I'm paraphrasing). Whether or not I'm religious (I'm not very), this was really engrained in my mind at a young age. To say 'I love you' to someone means to me that I am promising them a lot of things. If I don't feel I can offer them my time, my effort, my genuine affection and understanding, I just won't say it.

Yet, with my most recent ex, I was explaining this to him and he got upset because he didnt think 'love' was a big deal. After talking about it with him, i'd say that for me, as an American, to say 'I'm IN love with so-and-so'  is different from saying 'I love so-and-so'. To be in love is like a step above lust, you know something about the person and you really feel good around them. To love the person is again, expressing either commitment or a certain willingness to commit. (However, this opinion doesn't  attempt to represent all US americans). 

I don't know if in Spanish speaking places there is such a distinction between 'Te quiero' o 'Te amo' and 'Estoy enormado/a', though. Also, I was surprised to hear someone else say that 'Te adoro' was STRONGER than 'te amo'.

Well... thats food for thought, guys! Sorry it was so longwinded.


----------



## rajel

DeMaty said:


> Very interesting. There must be differing opinions about it even within Mexico, because she and two of her friends, have stated clearly that it is specifically romantic love, and would in fact be inappropriate for one to say it to a family member. I also know she loves her children as deeply as anyone may, and has never [edit: in my presence] said te amo to or les amo about them. Yet obviously, some Mexicans disagree.
> 
> I'm just glad she says it to/about me.



Hello! make no mistakes! you can say "quiero mucho a mis amigos" and that's nothing but affection but you can say  "amo a mi esposa, mis hijos, mi novia (if single.....yeah right!) mis padres,mi dios. you can even say yo amo a mi perro!!!


----------



## tomark

Im new, so please forgive me if I sound lost. My spanish = 30 words at the most. My girlfriend is from Mexico, but speaks very good English. .....In English there is no middle. "I like you alot, or the, I have a crush on you, or Im sweet on you" is all there is. For me, I must continue to say to her how much I love spending time with her, because in English, I Love you...means "Te Amo", which translates back to..." You own my heart and Im ready for a serious, long term relationship", and we are not quite there in our relationship, but I cant wait to say to her, "Te Amo"! Until then, what is there?....."Te adoro" is stronger than "Te Amo" ?


----------



## lzsam4

Well.....this subject has been discussed, dissected, put back together, and discussed again from what Ive seen in threads on this very topic!  jaja.  But I dont know - obviously it always goes back to 'to each is own'.  I was amused at this particular debate and was showing some of it to my boyfriend, who is from Mexico City.  He doesnt think that 'te adoro' is stronger than 'te amo', by the way.  He made a face when he saw that someone had said that.    And as others have said, you can say 'te quiero' or 'te quiero mucho'.  But, if youre not ready for 'i love you', then dont even go there yet.  I guess our situations are similar, in that we both have significant others from mexico, both of which are fluent in spanish and english.  And the way that step went with us (which I thought was very sweet) started when we were talking one time and he got really serious and said that he only said 'i love you' when he really really meant it and that was special to him, and that he would like to tell me that one day.  So that was a really nice way, to me, for him to express his feelings, and meant a lot more to me than 'i like you a lot'.  Now that we are at the 'crazy in love' point, he tells me 'i love you' in english all the time, sometimes says 'te quiero', but has never said 'te amo'.  He has said "eres una linda persona y te he empezado a querer y amar".  He just doesnt really use 'te amo'.  And after reading this thread, he just shook his head and said he was glad that we both what the words really mean.  Mucha suerte!


----------



## LittleMiss

Wow! This has been a very interesting subject... and even funny at some points. I can see that this is no longer a matter of what-does-it-means but more of when-should-i-use... 
   I agree with the fact that most of the times the best answer is "depends", even when my friends actually get frustrated for how ofter do i use it. But i think culture is a very importat matter here. 
   One of the things that you should keep in mind is that spanish-speakers and english-speaker might feel different about some words. The first time i hear someone tell me "i love you", i actually answered "you better". Why? well, sometimes in Mexico (where i'm from), the fact that you might have deep feelings for someone is implied on the relationship... and saying it is just a formality. 
   In the matter of "Te adoro"... in the strict sense of the word, is use for worship to a god or similars... so saying it to the person you are involve with is more of a sense of making her/him almost a superior being. But then again, i also say it in a more playfull way to my friends sometimes, so all depends in the context and the way things are said. 
   And just to sum all that has been said, in case that i wasn't that clear at the endP), when you want to say "i love something/someone", amar and querer can be use with no difference; but, when you are saying it TO someone, like "i love you", then there is a difference. What the difference is? that is more complicated to explain without disagreeing with someone... I think it goes to a more personal level.
   To me, "te amo" indicates something more lasting, i could say "te quiero" today and then next week feel different... but when you say "te amo" (and you actually mean in, of course), it implies something that won't change that easily... as relationships goes. 
   I'm not sure if i'm being clear enough... i hope so.


----------



## Mirlo

En conclusión:
I think you can use "Te quiero" or "te amo" in any case other than in a boyfriend and girlfriend situation because If you use "*te amo*" in this case It mean more than "te quiero" (*It means commitment*).

Saludos,


----------



## Lola-Mocha

Mirlo said:


> En conclusión:
> I think you can use "Te quiero" or "te amo" in any case other than in a boyfriend and girlfriend situation because If you use "*te amo*" in this case It mean more than "te quiero" (*It means commitment*).
> 
> Saludos,







LittleMiss said:


> Wow! This has been a very interesting subject... and even funny at some points. I can see that this is no longer a matter of what-does-it-means but more of when-should-i-use...
> I agree with the fact that most of the times the best answer is "depends", even when my friends actually get frustrated for how ofter do i use it. But i think culture is a very importat matter here.
> One of the things that you should keep in mind is that spanish-speakers and english-speaker might feel different about some words. The first time i hear someone tell me "i love you", i actually answered "you better". Why? well, sometimes in Mexico (where i'm from), the fact that you might have deep feelings for someone is implied on the relationship... and saying it is just a formality.
> In the matter of "Te adoro"... in the strict sense of the word, is use for worship to a god or similars... so saying it to the person you are involve with is more of a sense of making her/him almost a superior being. But then again, i also say it in a more playfull way to my friends sometimes, so all depends in the context and the way things are said.
> And just to sum all that has been said, in case that i wasn't that clear at the endP), when you want to say "i love something/someone", amar and querer can be use with no difference; but, when you are saying it TO someone, like "i love you", then there is a difference. What the difference is? that is more complicated to explain without disagreeing with someone... I think it goes to a more personal level.
> To me, "te amo" indicates something more lasting, i could say "te quiero" today and then next week feel different... but when you say "te amo" (and you actually mean in, of course), it implies something that won't change that easily... as relationships goes.
> I'm not sure if i'm being clear enough... i hope so.





LittleMiss, you were very clear! Thank you so much. The fine difference between 'te amo' and 'te quiero' has been bothering me for as long as I have been studying Spanish, but you really helped shed light on this distinction. Mirlo, thank you as well, because what you said just goes to reinforce my comprehension.

muchIsimas gracias,

~Lola~


----------



## girlwithx

Bueno solo escucha la canción de Jose Jose y ahi lo explica mas que perfecto.
 Just listen Jose Jose´s song.
Amar y querer no es igual. Amar + Querer no =.
 Querer es tener un cariño, pero amar es que no puedes vivir sin esa persona por la que llorarias si deja de estar contigo y daris la vida, es parte de ti y si te hace falta es como si te hubieran arrancado el corazon... como el amor a un padre,madre, herman@,hij@ una parej de la cual te has enamorado.
Cuando quieres si esa persona falta, tu vida simplemente puede seguir.


----------



## juandiego

Having read the whole thread, I would like to support the idea that "_te amo_" and "_te quiero_" have the same strength (the same degree of commitment and so forth) when in a romantic conversation context. However, I don't know why, "_te amo_" sounds a bit corny even in that situation and I'd like to point out that when you want to express precisely love, without avoiding the term, towards your interlocutor (or a third person), I have the impression that it is much more common to say "_estoy enamorado de ti (él/ella)_" what doesn't sound that corny but works out very sincere and explanatory.


----------



## ultim

Ok, from my point of view as an English speaker from England....If someone said to me Te amo, I would take it as I _am in_ love with you (If in a relationship you said I love you, it would be serious, as it is instantly taken as I am in love with you....just like someone else in this thread said a girl said to him te quiero, pero no te amo....I love you, but I am not _in_ love with you....But if you said I love you to a family member or a friend, its fine...there is a fine line!). 
If someone said to me Te quiero, I would take it as just I love you, if they said Te amo, I would take it as I am _in_ love with you....more serious.
But yeah after reading this thread this seems like the most simple conclusion for me:
Querer: To love
Amar: To _be in_ love

But then I guess there are fine lines like when you are talking about your country, you use amar, and in English you wouldnt say I am in love with my country, so I guess the love/in love thing applies to people, or living things

tricky one to get your head around!


----------



## chamyto

Unregistered said:


> if someone says "te quiero" does it mean they "love" me me or they "like" me?
> when would I use "amar"?
> thanks!


 

It depends on the context of meaning as want or love


----------



## armando siniestra

chamyto Finalmente Chamyto    

Finalmente, Chamyto lo sintetiza. Depende del contexto, lo que linguísticamente traduciría que se refleja en la expresión gramatical y su sintaxis:

Amo a mis padres  y te quiero papá
Amo a los animales y  yo a este perro lo quiero
Yo te a tí no te quiero, te amo

Y en estas condiciones tambien se funden ambos verbos:
    (México) "Yo a usté la quiero un chingo... ¡diga! ¿quien la quiere?" Eso solo 
     se lo  expreso a mi mujer


----------



## larondine

ultim said:


> Ok, from my point of view as an English speaker from England....If someone said to me Te amo, I would take it as I _am in_ love with you (If in a relationship you said I love you, it would be serious, as it is instantly taken as I am in love with you....just like someone else in this thread said a girl said to him te quiero, pero no te amo....I love you, but I am not _in_ love with you....But if you said I love you to a family member or a friend, its fine...there is a fine line!).
> If someone said to me Te quiero, I would take it as just I love you, if they said Te amo, I would take it as I am _in_ love with you....more serious.
> But yeah after reading this thread this seems like the most simple conclusion for me:
> Querer: To love
> Amar: To _be in_ love
> 
> But then I guess there are fine lines like when you are talking about your country, you use amar, and in English you wouldnt say I am in love with my country, so I guess the love/in love thing applies to people, or living things
> 
> tricky one to get your head around!



I am a Spanish teacher (and still new at it so don't gang up on me, por favor ) and I tell my students that even though the literal translation of "te quiero" would be "I want you" in English, that _isn't the* correct* translation_. I have explained to them that literal translations are not always correct (hace calor = have warm... not a good translation.) 

I tell them that "te quiero" means "I love you" and is the colloquial, informal way to say it.
In my mind, "te amo" is a more antiquated way of saying "I love you" and less colloquial. Hence, it is what I would use if talking about country, or other inanimate objects. Obviously phrases like "te adoro" or "te deseo" would be used with someone romantically. 
For more information on this subject, check out the lyrics to José José's song "Amar y querer" :

El querer pronto puede acabar, (Querer quickly ends,)
el amor no conoce el final, (Amar knows no end,)
es que todos sabemos querer (Everyone knows how to querer)
pero pocos sabemos amar. (but few know how to amar.)​
I purposely didn't translate the verbs amar/querer above because you can take away from the lyrics the meaning you want that way.
Also, I am of course "tongue in cheek" when I joke about these lyrics being an actual source for information. But there is also some truth in them. Even so, I do believe these lyrics aren't talking about the idiomatic uses of the two verbs discussed here. 

_(Side note, in Italian, they also say "te voglio bene" for I love you and "voglio" literally translated also means "want" - they also have the verb "amare" so I bet they have the same thread somewhere on their board!)_


----------



## armando siniestra

Querer y amar dependen del contexto y del objeto/sujeto. amo a mis hijos  es disitinto de amar a una mujer a la que se le declara para estar  unidos como pareja.

Otro substituto de querer/amar es "cuidar de"

El ejemplo empleado para mostrar que no es posible la traducción literal no es muy acertado(+), aunque efectivamente .. cada cultura deriva, del significado original y más estricto, sentidos que pueden ser diferentes para otra cultura o medio social .. I want you .. en cierta forma sí es querer a otro  en el mismo sentido original que el inglés .. solo que ahora ha quedado más relagado a un querer de atracción sexual, en términos generales.

(+) hace calor=/= have warm .. literalmente:  hace calor = it makes warm.


----------



## Aniska5

Lenu said:


> En España diríamos: Te quiero papá
> Te amo se reserva más para amor de amantes y podría sonar un poco incestuoso (aunque no es incorrecto).
> 
> También en España se utiliza más corrientemente "quiero decir" que "deseo decir", yo particularmente utilizaría "deseo decir" cuando me gustaría decir algo pero no me atrevo (por ejemplo), y "quiero decir" cuando explico lo que estoy diciendo
> 
> No se si me explico bien...


----------



## Aniska5

En México se dice "Te amo Papá" o "Te quiero Papá," cualquiera de los 2 estaría perfectamente bien.


----------



## Aniska5

With all due respect, I wouldn't feel that "Te amo" is at all corny if the person who said it to me were someone I was romantically involved with. And here in Mexico it is also used for family members, things, passions (Yo amo la salsa) and I have also heard it used between very close friends (usually females) to express deep caring, love and friendship even without the presence of romantic love. But I think it wouldn't be appropriate to say it to someone of the opposite sex who is "just a friend" or that person would certainly get the wrong idea and think that you were in love with him/ her. I agree that "estoy enamorado/a de tí" is more specific but I think that, for example, if you are dating but have not really decided to be in a relationship, you could say "estoy enamorado/a de tí" if you want the other person to know that. But if you say, "te amo" it's like you are expressing the fact that you love that person in a very deep and romantic way. It's the "He said 'I love you'"moment.


----------



## LuzEscobar

My name is Luz and we say "te amo" for family or relationships. "Te quiero" is more non-serious things.

My maxican boyfriend says "te amo" to me even though we just started dating 2 days ago


----------



## Pablo_Escobar

I have a Mexican girlfriend and she told me, "Te quiero mucho." I'm confused on how to respond to this. All help is appreciated.


----------



## iribela

LuzEscobar said:


> My name is Luz and we say "te amo" for family or relationships. "Te quiero" is more non-serious things.


No sé si es el mismo caso, pero en mi familia, los niños que se criaron aquí en EE.UU. dicen (o escriben) 'te amo' a los tíos, primos, abuelos, etc. Pero es porque se están criando en este país y _traducen _"I love you..." ya que hablar español para ellos no es lo natural.
En cuanto a tu novio... ¡todo es posible! Será amor a primera vista


----------



## Amapolas

A mí, "te amo" me suena a culebrón. Acá decimos te quiero, te quiero mucho.


----------



## EddieZumac

lzsam4 said:


> Well.....this subject has been discussed, dissected, put back together, and discussed again from what Ive seen in threads on this very topic!  jaja.  But I dont know - obviously it always goes back to 'to each is own'.  I was amused at this particular debate and was showing some of it to my boyfriend, who is from Mexico City.  He doesnt think that 'te adoro' is stronger than 'te amo', by the way.  He made a face when he saw that someone had said that.    And as others have said, you can say 'te quiero' or 'te quiero mucho'.  But, if youre not ready for 'i love you', then dont even go there yet.  I guess our situations are similar, in that we both have significant others from mexico, both of which are fluent in spanish and english.  And the way that step went with us (which I thought was very sweet) started when we were talking one time and he got really serious and said that he only said 'i love you' when he really really meant it and that was special to him, and that he would like to tell me that one day.  So that was a really nice way, to me, for him to express his feelings, and meant a lot more to me than 'i like you a lot'.  Now that we are at the 'crazy in love' point, he tells me 'i love you' in english all the time, sometimes says 'te quiero', but has never said 'te amo'.  He has said "eres una linda persona y te he empezado a querer y amar".  He just doesnt really use 'te amo'.  And after reading this thread, he just shook his head and said he was glad that we both what the words really mean.  Mucha suerte!


To each *his *own.


----------



## tonguingaround

Es secuencial
Si le decis a una chica "me gustas", quiere decir "I am into you".
Después de unos meses le decís "te quiero", cuando comienza el "attachment"
Cuando estas dispuesto a tolerarla toda la vida le decís "te amo"
Y si te divorcias le decís "te odio"
Es una secuencia
Esto en Argentina


----------

