# Can amore be used for a friend too?



## angel_on_fire

Hi, I have tried to search for this in the forums but no luck

I overheard my boyfriend call a female friend amore (they are both sicilian) can amore just be a general term of endearment between friends or is it more serious than that? I ask because i understand when he says baccia to his female friends it is just meant in a friendly way but i must confess i am a little worried about him calling them amore!

thanks


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## You little ripper!

I can understand your concern. I've heard it used with kids: "Ciao amore" (Hi sweetheart). I'm not really sure whether used amongst adults it is just a friendly term. You'll have to wait for someone whose mother tongue is Italian unfortunately.


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## ThePatriot

Dipende da persona a persona, io personalmente non chiamerei nessuno che non sia la mia ragazza "amore", ma sento che molti invece lo fanno.

Fossi in te non mi preoccuperei


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## angel_on_fire

thanks for replying

not really the answer i wanted but what can you do! 

also im wondering now whether when he calls his female friends caro, tessoro etc whether he is just being friendly - i am more concerned now 

i think i will just have to ask him (again) myself and see what happens

thanks again


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## ElaineG

(New to this forum, but...), I spend 6 months of the year in Sicily and have found that both my male and female friends there use terms of endearment quite frequently both with me and with one another, including "amore", "cara/caro", "tesoro", "mia bella."  When I first started spending time there, I would be upset when my then-boyfriend would end all his phone calls with "un bacio" or "ti mando un bacio," but then I realized he spoke that way to everyone from his 12 year-old neighbor to his mother's 60 year-old friends.

I wouldn't concern yourself too much with this type of terminology.  I don't think it means betrayal!  Many of the Sicilian guys I've met are world-class flirts in their language or attitudes (and, depending on the individual, some caution may be warranted), but you'll only make yourself unhappy if you fixate on affectionate language, which is fairly common culturally.


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## Sierra

Oh, this is tricky  

I'm a girl and one Italian friend of mine (a girl) does call me _amore_ or _tesoro_ on occasion, but now that I've read some responses here, it's just occured to me that she IS from the south (Puglia).  No one else I know really does that.  

However, I think I'd be a bit worried if a guy starts calling me "amore" or "tesoro".  "Bella" or "bellissima" is such a common term of affection for everyone that there's really nothing behind them anymore.  And following what everyone else here does, I liberally sign off on emails and text messages with "baci", "bacione" or "un bacio" whether to a boy or girl.


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## Alfry

toc toc.. may I...
thanks...

welllllll... well well

this might be common among women, as far as I know. For sure, it's not common among men. 

I have heard women say "ciao amore", "ciao tesoro" to one another, but never heard men do the same.

A woman might say "ciao amore" to a frined of hers... as long us it's clear that amore is meant as a term of endearment and not as a love word.

Much depends on the tone of the voice, though.

Also, you could say "sei un amore" meaning "you are very nice and gentle" or "stai un amore" meaning "you look gorgeous", but only in informal situations.


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## ElaineG

Well, *Alfry* has a point, I didn't mean to imply in my previous post that my Sicilian male friends called each other "tesoro" and "amore."   

But I do find that affectionate language and nicknames are common among our friends, and I wouldn't conclude that my boyfriend was cheating on me because he called a close female friend "amore."  For example, my best friend's husband will frequently call me and other female friends "tesoro" in the same teasing tone of voice that he calls me "la principessa" or more sweetly, "sorellina."


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## carrickp

Just so you know: Balding, somewhat pudgy, older men never go around calling anyone but their girlfriend "amore" or "tesoro." They also buy flowers and can afford to pay for dinner.

But it's your choice, of course.


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## angel_on_fire

ok thanks everyone for replying - i feel a bit better now! i spoke to him last night about my concerns and he promised that it is common in sicily/south italy to call almost everyone love/darling/treasure etc.  

thanks again for the advice


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## grappa

Mi sembra c'e una cosa della sud.


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## uinni

grappa said:
			
		

> Mi sembra che sia una cosa del sud.


 
It sounds strange to me that in the South, where machismo is still very strong, men might happen to address male friends by "amore"...

Uinni


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## grappa

Grazie uinni


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## radiation woman

Maybe one way of testing if he is only being friendly when he calls his female friends, "tesoro, amore" etc. is to try using the same terms on some of your male friends in his presence.  From his reaction you might be able to gauge whether, for him, these words carry more than just a friendly meaning!


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## uinni

radiation woman said:
			
		

> Maybe one way of testing if he is only being friendly when he calls his female friends, "tesoro, amore" etc. is to try using the same terms on some of your male friends in his presence. From his reaction you might be able to gauge whether, for him, these words carry more than just a friendly meaning!


 

Good advice. Experiment is worth ten thousand words  

Uinni.


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## Silvia

I like radiation woman's suggestion 

Sicilian men are also known to be very jealous...

I don't think it's a Southern habit, unless you're a licensed flirt. Though I live in the North of Italy, I know some Southern people and no one ever called me amore. But that's just my personal opinion.


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## angel_on_fire

umm ok more to think about i guess 

i love the experiment suggestion radiation woman and as we share a house with 5 guys (2 of them italian) i think i will definitely try it out! 

thanks


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## angel_on_fire

oh i just had a thought - i have heard him call his male sicilian friends amore etc and they him but as it was always clearly said in humour to them i never really thought anything of it


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## uinni

angel_on_fire said:
			
		

> oh i just had a thought - i have heard him call his male sicilian friends amore etc and they him but as it was always clearly said in humour to them i never really thought anything of it


ù

Yes, of course "caro"/"amore"/"tesoro" could be said in humor (more often to hint/mean the opposite -but not necessarily).

- Mi presti la tua macchina?
- No caro, l'ultima volta me l'hai ammaccata!

Uinni


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## ElaineG

> I don't think it's a Southern habit, unless you're a licensed flirt.


 
Well, after having spent 2 1/2 years in Sicily, I would say that more siciliani seem to have a license to flirt than the men of the other places I've lived (London, Paris, Edinburgh and New York).  I would also note, on *RadiationWoman*'s suggestion, that I learned the hard way that, in Sicily, what is good for the gander is not always good for the goose.  Depending on *angel on fire*'s boyfriend's upbringing and background, he may see it as his male perogative to flirt, but not take such behavior kindly from his fidanzata!

But this is a language forum, not couples' therapy, so I'll leave it at that!


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## amore miA

I spend almost half a year every year in Sicily and me and my friends always use the phrases 'amore/tesoro....' . I also found that especially in small towns like where me and my family stay (Aragona,Agrigento) it is very easy to get a name for yourself by flirting as i was wrongly judged 2 years ago in the summer for dancing with a lad-maybe in a way they find too sexual????-and found it very hard to make friends with girls. But i do agree that the males do tend to flirt quite a lot!
Tough time but now its all gooood! lol


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## disegno

ThePatriot said:
			
		

> Dipende da persona a persona,
> Fossi in te non mi preoccuperei



Sono d'accordo con te...

Sembra che ci siano tante discussioni che trattano delle frasi del amore...ciascuno vuole sapere il vero signficato e le implicazioni delle parole come 'tesoro', 'amore' e quando di usare 'ti amo' invece di 'ti voglio bene'....

Secondo me,  le persone danno la parola 'love' con così tante emozioni in ogni lingua, da affetto generale fino a un desiderio sessuale...sembra che non c'è una parola adesso che puo descrivere la vera emozione. La parola 'love' o 'amore' e quasi neutrale... gli inglesi chiamano quasi ognuno 'love' e negli stati uniti tutti sono chiamati 'sweetheart'. Quindi dipende da persona a persona e il tono e l'abitudine della persona che usa le frase.


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## grappa

I use "amore" and "tesoro" with Italian girls. I am also a white haired grandfather


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## Raphillon

disegno said:
			
		

> Sono d'accordo con te...
> 
> Sembra che ci siano tante discussioni che trattano delle frasi del amore...ciascuno vuole sapere il vero signficato e le implicazioni delle parole come 'tesoro', 'amore' e quando di usare 'ti amo' invece di 'ti voglio bene'....
> 
> Secondo me, le persone danno la parola 'love' con così tante emozioni in ogni lingua, da affetto generale fino a un desiderio sessuale...sembra che non c'è una parola adesso che puo descrivere la vera emozione. La parola 'love' o 'amore' e quasi neutrale... gli inglesi chiamano quasi ognuno 'love' e negli stati uniti tutti sono chiamati 'sweetheart'. Quindi dipende da persona a persona e il tono e l'abitudine della persona che usa le frase.


 
That's interesting. I think it is not the word itself but the meaning you give it. You may even find yourself to give the same word opposite meaning. That makes it harder to express yourself in a foreign language, naturally, as well as it makes it harder to understand other people's meaning. But that there IS a difference between a word like "love" spoken by two lovers while having sex and the same word spoken by Gollum while trying to cheat Frodo... well it is evident. But there are so many shades so many graduations...

How do you come to understand another man? It is not ony a matter of language, naturally, though language do make things harder. I think it is a metter of heart. You share thoughts and feelings through heart, not really through words, words are only defective and can't help you if you don't understant a man's heart.

The same for jealousy. I don't think anybody would be really bothered by a word spoken in another language if he is sure about his boyfriend/girlfriend's feelings. If he/she is actually jealous then the comunication trouble is not in words, but in hearts.

Ciao. I hope I didn't bother you with my homemade philosophy in my homemade English


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## angel_on_fire

Thanks for the replies

I have come to the same conclusion, that it depends on the way it is said/reason it is said and not the word itself that defines meaning - 

I am almost 100% certain it was only used in friendship so im no longer worried 

thanks again for the responses - you have put my little green monster to rest! 

Angel on fire


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## learjeff

Right.  We often hear an British man or woman call a woman "love" and not mean anything more than friendly affection by it -- heck, sometimes even to strangers:  "Mind yer step there, Love!"

Though not between men in normal situations.

It sounds like the same kind of thing here.


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## Giada-la-tigre

Hi...I'm Italian so I'm sure that "amore-caro-tesoro etc." are common words We use in order to express friendly affection too.
Have a nice time


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## dalialama

angel_on_fire said:


> oh i just had a thought - i have heard him call his male sicilian friends amore etc and they him but as it was always clearly said in humour to them i never really thought anything of it



My son who lives in Italy and is gay has a friend who calls him "Amore" and signs off with "Bacci," but he swears he's not his boyfriend. My son is openly gay and isn't trying to hide the relationship but swears the guy is not his boyfriend. Don't know what to make of it. Do gay men use these terms among male friends?


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## Bella63

Hi
I have a very dear friend (who happens to be Sicilian as well) who is gay and he calls me tesoro, amore and uses other affectionate terms in a very natural and friendly way, in the same way he uses these expressions with his male friends who are not his partner.
Bella


dalialama said:


> My son who lives in Italy and is gay has a friend who calls him "Amore" and signs off with "Ba*c*ci," but he swears he's not his boyfriend. My son is openly gay and isn't trying to hide the relationship but swears the guy is not his boyfriend. Don't know what to make of it. Do gay men use these terms among male friends?


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## dalialama

Thanks for the reply, Bella. Makes sense in the context of the kind of person my son is and teaches me something more about Italians.


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## Bella63

Re-reading all the previous posts it may be a regional use, although I have my doubts. Personally I frequently call my female friends "amore", tesoro or ciccina... (most of them are incidently of southern origin but I certainly am not) and occasionally in an ironic or humorous way, my colleagues.I don't have dozens of homosexual friends (I don't have dozens of friends come to think of it). And whatever, if your son is not elusive about his preferences why should he not be honest in this case? Pleased to be of any help dear!
Bella


dalialama said:


> Thanks for the reply, Bella. Makes sense in the context of the kind of person my son is and teaches me something more about Italians.


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