# bridal shower



## Roi Marphille

hello, 
what's the bridal shower? 
it's something related to wedding right?

ta!

Roi


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## VenusEnvy

Before getting married, the woman has a *bridal shower*. It is usually a party that occurs during the day (usually lunch-time), where her friends and family shower her with gifts that she (and her husband) will be able to use when they are married. Usually the bride's *maid of honor * throws the party.

For most bridal showers, the bride already knows what gifts she'd like. So, she goes to a store, and registers. That is, she gives the store a list of items from that store that she'd like to receive. Her friends and family then go to the store, and buy something from the list.

Examples of gifts include:
Household appliances
Bedding
Decorations
Kitchen appliances
Lingerie   

At the party, the women chit-chat, play silly games, eat, and open gifts. (Usually its only women, but recently have included couples, or men.)

I've not had a bridal shower, nor been to one, myself. Perhaps someone who had can elaborate?


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## Roi Marphille

wow, I didn't know. 
I read this expression in a book written by a East-Coast Jewish writer..is this a Jewish tradition?
if not, is it a USA tradition? or do they do it in UK and other countries..?


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## panjandrum

As I understand these events, which is by reputation only, they do not happen in the UK.


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## modgirl

Roi Marphille said:
			
		

> is this a Jewish tradition?


 
No.  It is a general custom in the US, but I am uncertain whether the tradition travels beyond our borders.


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## cuchuflete

I'm waiting for those who believe in sexual equality to begin a protest against this custom. Traditionally, it has been something done by women only, for women only.
That's probably a great relief to most men, who are delighted to be excluded from these events.

I was once asked to attend one, but as I lived very far away, and could not be present, I asked the prospective groom what the couple needed. He told me that the sister of the bride-to-be had already hosted one shower, and that someone else had hosted another, such that "they", the couple, had already received dozens of sexy nightgowns and kitchen appliances. He continued, "So what *we  *really need is a good basketball!"   I wasn't there to see the look on the ladies' faces when it was unwrapped.


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## modgirl

Cuchu, did you forget about a bachelor party for the groom?!


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## VenusEnvy

modgirl said:
			
		

> Cuchu, did you forget about a bachelor party for the groom?!


And, a bachelorette party for the bride...


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## Everness

And above all, let's not forget the presence of female and male strippers for bachelor and bachelorette's parties respectively.


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## cuchuflete

Everness said:
			
		

> And above all, let's not forget the presence of female and male strippers for bachelor and bachelorette's parties respectively.



Please explain this to those who have never been to such an event.


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## modgirl

Yes, Everness, we need _details_!


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## BasedowLives

they have bachelor parties in spain too (i think). i saw like 15 guys dressed as nurses, and 1 guy dressed as a doctor just walking around madrid drinking. i asked them what they were doing and they said the guy dressed as the doctor was getting married shortly.


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## Vanda

Roi Marphille said:
			
		

> wow, I didn't know.
> I read this expression in a book written by a East-Coast Jewish writer..is this a Jewish tradition?
> if not, is it a USA tradition? or do they do it in UK and other countries..?


 
Yes I think this is a broad tradition, probably not Jewish, though. 
Here in Brazil we name it "chá de panela" ( a pan tea). And it involves the kind of gifts mentioned above .


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## Vanda

Everness said:
			
		

> And above all, let's not forget the presence of female and male strippers for bachelor and bachelorette's parties respectively.


 
Yeah. In all TV sitcoms, movies from USA there are strippers for bachelor and
bachelorette's parties , is it really like that, a wide custom? I think it's kind
of a modern habit, isn't it?


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## Everness

Vanda said:
			
		

> Yeah. In all TV sitcoms, movies from USA there are strippers for bachelor and
> bachelorette's parties , is it really like that, a wide custom? I think it's kind
> of a modern habit, isn't it?



The power of sitcoms and how they influence public opinion across the world! I should write an essay on the subject. 

Well ladies, if you are planning to hold a bachelorette party, I can give you my business card. 

I have only 2 rules. 

1) No groping below or above  the waistline. 

2) No private functions following the party. (When women are under the influence and they open the bedroom door, they see something that reminds them of their marital status.)


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## Roi Marphille

Everness said:
			
		

> (When women are under the influence and they open the bedroom door, they see something that reminds them of their marital status.)


 
what do they see?
I don't follow you..


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## GenJen54

Wow!  What an interesting and diverse group of answers. 

I shall do what I can to reply to Roi Marphille's original post. Having been somewhat recently wed myself, I can speak from the experience of "the Bride."

Yes, as VE noted, these parties are traditionally given for the bride as a means of "showering" her with gifts before the wedding. In modern society, these showers are often themed, such as "tabletop" shower, "kitchen,'' "time of the day" shower, or "season" shower. I was given both a kitchen and tabletop shower. Most people brought small appliances for the kitchen or things I could use to set a dining table for entertaining. Usually, "ladies only" showers such as these take place on a weekend afternoon, and tea and/or small finger foods (mostly desserts) are served. A note of etiquette: it is deemed socially inappropriate by some for mothers and/or family members to give the bride a shower. Traditionally, these should be given by friends, or people not related to the bride.

In addition to my two showers, my husband and I were given a "stock the bar" shower by some of his parents' friends. The gifts given consisted mostly of barware and/or nice bottles of wine or alcohol. This particular shower was for ''couples" and was given in the evening. 

I did not have a bachelorette party, nor did my husband have a bachelor party. We went against this tradition because: 1) we were of an age where we didn't think it was appropriate, and; 2) getting wildly drunk and/or being entertained by strippers is just not our cup of tea. 

I had a small bachelorette party / lingerie shower, which was given by my close friends and bridesmaids. We went to someone's home, had wine and cheese, and really just had a "girls' night in." Two of the ladies there were pregnant, so the party did not get very out of control.

Instead of a bachelor party, my husband and his buddies went to play golf together. 

I believe in the UK, the bachelorette party is usually called a "hen's night." I don't know what they call a bachelor party. We used to call it "stag night" in the US, but I believe this term has dropped from usage.

I can't speak to the types of bachelor parties as seen on TV. I believe this is a somewhat exaggerated practice. However, I have known friends who have either travelled to Las Vegas and/or Cancún, Mexico, for their parties. In such cases, one never knows what can happen.


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## Jonegy

Over here they are "Stag" or "Hen" parties but it seems that the same rules apply.  Recently it has become quite popular to nip overseas for the "do", Dublin and Amsterdam being among the most popular.


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## Roi Marphille

Jonegy said:
			
		

> Recently it has become quite popular to nip overseas for the "do", Dublin and Amsterdam being among the most popular.


and Barcelona!!!


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## modgirl

Gen, if I'm not mistaken, one of the original reasons for bridal showers was to help equip the new household with necessities. Several decades ago, people tended to get married a lot sooner than today. Hence, when people who are 20 years old are just starting a household, there are many necessities they don't have.

However, today, many people getting married are much older and have lived by themselves for several years (in the US and UK, that is); hence, the need for towels, dishes, and such is not as great. Also, many people just live together first without getting married and thus already have their furnishings.

So, I wonder: are bridal showers as prevalent as they once were? 

I don't have some hidden agenda, and this isn't a trick question. I'm just curious to know. I know very few people in their early 20s getting married today. Of course, it happens, but my impression is that the frequency is not as it was several decades ago.


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## panjandrum

For a time, Prague was the stag and hen party capital of Europe.
Cheap air travel has completely revolutionised the S&H Party scene.


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## lsp

modgirl said:
			
		

> Gen, if I'm not mistaken, one of the original reasons for bridal showers was to help equip the new household with necessities. Several decades ago, people tended to get married a lot sooner than today. Hence, when people who are 20 years old are just starting a household, there are many necessities they don't have.
> 
> However, today, many people getting married are much older and have lived by themselves for several years (in the US and UK, that is); hence, the need for towels, dishes, and such is not as great. Also, many people just live together first without getting married and thus already have their furnishings.
> 
> So, I wonder: are bridal showers as prevalent as they once were?
> 
> I don't have some hidden agenda, and this isn't a trick question. I'm just curious to know. I know very few people in their early 20s getting married today. Of course, it happens, but my impression is that the frequency is not as it was several decades ago.


Depends on how old your friends are. If you had a slew of them getting married you'd think it was just as prevalent, I'd wager.


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## GenJen54

> Originally posted by *Modgirl* Gen, if I'm not mistaken, one of the original reasons for bridal showers was to help equip the new household with necessities. Several decades ago, people tended to get married a lot sooner than today. Hence, when people who are 20 years old are just starting a household, there are many necessities they don't have.
> 
> However, today, many people getting married are much older and have lived by themselves for several years (in the US and UK, that is); hence, the need for towels, dishes, and such is not as great. Also, many people just live together first without getting married and thus already have their furnishings.
> 
> So, I wonder: are bridal showers as prevalent as they once were?


I don't know. I would think that they are, but that they are changing. In my case, even though my husband and I had been on our own for several years, it was a nice opportunity for us to "replace" certain things that I had had, for example, since college. Plates that were chipped and cracked were replaced by newer ones because of the showers. A toaster that was being held together by duct tape was thusly replaced. We also were given things, such as nicer plates and silverware, that I would have never purchased for myself. Having served in the military for almost a decade before we got married, my husband did not have much to bring in the way of "stuff," so we were not able to combine households as so many couples do. 

I know people, young, and older, who are having showers. I have also heard of people who are having "honeymoon" and/or "investment'' showers, the latter of which is to help people build their nesteggs with cash "donations." I personally find them distasteful. I have had friends marrying in Europe who "register" for refrigerators or larger appliance items, since often these types of things are not furnished in apartments or living quarters. 

Last year, I also knew a woman who married an extremely wealthy gentleman from Dallas. They asked that in lieu of gifts, a donation be made to a particular charity. 

I think the act of gift-giving for weddings has changed, but that showers are still a part of that process.


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## modgirl

lsp said:
			
		

> Depends on how old your friends are. If you had a slew of them getting married you'd think it was just as prevalent, I'd wager.


 
Actually, I have friends in all age groups.  However, for some reason, even the older ones tend not to get married, but rather live together.  I think the huge divorce rate is scaring a lot of people away from marriage today.  

Since you had lived solo for quite awhile, I can see where it would be nice to receive new gifts at a shower!  But, I'm curious about people who are ~30 or so when they get married.  Do they generally get by on college-style (cheap) home furnishings and just assume that they'll get married and replace things then?


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## Everness

Everness said:
			
		

> The power of sitcoms and how they influence public opinion across the world! I should write an essay on the subject.
> 
> Well ladies, if you are planning to hold a bachelorette party, I can give you my business card.
> 
> I have only 2 rules.
> 
> 1) No groping below or above  the waistline.
> 
> 2) No private functions following the party. *(When women are under the influence and they open the bedroom door, they see something that reminds them of their marital status.)*






			
				Roi Marphille said:
			
		

> *what do they see?
> I don't follow you*..



Ok, if I knew you were married or living with someone, my answer would be: "You."


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## Merlin

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> I wasn't there to see the look on the ladies' faces when it was unwrapped.


I'm laughing my heart out after reading this. I wanted the same gift when I got married. Unfortunately no one was able to give me a basketball on my wedding. hahahahahaha...


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## Mitcheck

Bridal shower is usually done whenever a lady is getting married. However, not all of the ladies has bridal shower since some doesnt want to have it or could be they dont want to let their friends know that they are getting married that soon.  
However, I once attended a bridal shower of my cousin and a stag party for her husband. They have common friends then. We had a drink and ate finger foods that we brought. Actually the couple doesnt have any idea why we invited them over to one of our friends house. It was a fun party that surprised them.


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## mari.kit

Just last year, we threw a bridal shower to one of my girlfriends.. we decorated the hotel room with ballooned condoms and confetti (just for the fun of it  )
and all our gifts were really weird from transparent negligee to a mug that when you pour in a boiling water the half-naked man design of the mug will slowly become full-naked...  we all scream our hearts out..jejeje! That was really fun... and of course, its an exclusive-for-girls-only party.. but we dont have that guy who'll do dirty dancing infront of you.. i guess that's what we missed.. 

Anyway, bachelor's party or stag party are for the groom to be.. and of course, they have their "exclusive" kind of fun as well...


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## asm

En Mexico son muy populares y se les llama despedida de soltera. Casi siempre son entre mujeres, pero en ocasiones las hacen mixtas. Me sorprende que no haya en España


			
				Roi Marphille said:
			
		

> hello,
> what's the bridal shower?
> it's something related to wedding right?
> 
> ta!
> 
> Roi


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