# I love you



## akikowatanabe

Konnichiwa from a Japanese girl in Tokyo. I like to learn European languages. Can you help me to learn "I like you" and "I love you" in German?  Also, which is more common saying in German for boy friend and girl friends?  Japanese people are more shy so we do not say so often.


----------



## Klemi

Ich hab' dich Lieb  >  to say "I like you"
Ich liebe dich  > to say "I love you"

But wait for natives! 

Klemi


----------



## Jana337

If you want to express your affection for your friends, I'd say: Ich mag Dich.

Jana


----------



## Kajjo

I like you. = Ich mag Dich.
I love you. = Ich liebe Dich.

Kajjo


----------



## Kajjo

Klemi said:


> Ich hab' dich Lieb  >  to say "I like you"


No, "Ich habe Dich lieb." is as explicit as "I love you."

Kajjo


----------



## jebbe

Kajjo said:


> No, "Ich habe Dich lieb." is as explicit as "I love you."
> 
> Kajjo


I'm not sure if that is true any more - strictly speaking, the meaning is very similar, but I think you have to regard the common usage of these phrases: "Hab' dich lieb" (short for "Ich habe dich lieb") is very popular among young people, and it is used meaning "I like you" - maybe a little stronger, but not at all "I love you".

Especially in cell phone text messages "HDL" is used quite often, as an abbreviation for "Hab' dich lieb".

jebbe


----------



## Kajjo

jebbe said:


> "Hab' dich lieb" (short for "Ich habe dich lieb") is very popular among young people, and it is used meaning "I like you" - maybe a little stronger, but not at all "I love you".


Difficult to imagine for me. I never had someone saying that to me with the exception of intimate friends. Maybe it is one of these stupid anglicisms and a sign of increasing superficiality.



> Especially in cell phone text messages "HDL" is used quite often, as an abbreviation for "Hab' dich lieb".


Never heard about that. But it fits to my analysis, I guess.

Anyway, I would never recommend that a foreigner expresses "liking someone" with "liebhaben". It can be very embarrassing and might lead to wrong assumptions and irritations. Or maybe wild nights, who knows.

Kajjo


----------



## elroy

Kajjo said:


> Maybe it is one of these stupid anglicisms and a sign of increasing superficiality.


 Huh? How can it be an Anglicism when we don't use "(I) love you" to loosely mean "I like you" in English? You can't call every change in your language that you don't like an Anglicism, and a "stupid" one, at that.


----------



## jebbe

Kajjo said:


> "Hab' dich lieb" (short for "Ich habe dich lieb") is very popular among young people, and it is used meaning "I like you" - maybe a little stronger, but not at all "I love you".
> 
> 
> 
> Difficult to imagine for me. I never had someone saying that to me with the exception of intimate friends. Maybe it is one of these stupid anglicisms and a sign of increasing superficiality.
Click to expand...

There might be a difference in written and spoken language: I neither had anyone saying it to me (except for intimate friends), but I got many emails and text messages, mostly using the abbreviation "HDL". In that context for me it has some childish undertone rather than refering to actual love.



> Anyway, I would never recommend that a foreigner expresses "liking someone" with "liebhaben". It can be very embarrassing and might lead to wrong assumptions and irritations. Or maybe wild nights, who knows.


I totally agree with that, even if I don't think that young people would misunderstand it.



elroy said:


> Huh? How can it be an Anglicism when we don't use "(I) love you" to loosely mean "I like you" in English? You can't call every change in your language that you don't like an Anglicism, and a "stupid" one, at that.


Some guessing: Even if it is not an Anglicism, it might be based on American influences, for example I often see "love, [name]" at the end of American emails, while I never saw "Liebe, [name]". That would be pretty misleading, so maybe the German youth just changed it to "Hab' dich lieb".

jebbe


----------



## Kajjo

elroy said:


> Huh? How can it be an Anglicism when we don't use "(I) love you" to loosely mean "I like you" in English? You can't call every change in your language that you don't like an Anglicism, and a "stupid" one, at that.


1. From my point of view, there are "smart anglicisms" that fill gaps: Container, Trainer, Fan, Computer, Recycling.
2. There are stupid anglicisms, e.g. English grammar in German sentences or meanings of words used to be false friends and become sort of accepted just due to intense usage. We discussed some of those in this forum.
3. There are also stupid anglicisms when Germans express  opinions in a "Un-german" way by imitating Americans. This is like young children imitating older ones, only that it is done by adults.

It is absolutely non-traditional to tell someone in German "ich habe dich lieb" or "ich liebe dich" when not meaning in a very intimate way. However, in America, everyone has these "I love X" T-Shirts, many emails ending in something with love and the word "love" is used much earlier anyway it appears to me.

For example, category 3 anglicisms are actually to abbreviate phrases by using their first letters. English usenet abbreviations like RTFM, BTW, IMO are _English_. Applying this principle to German is just the reaction of people smart enough to type SMS but too dumb to use English abbreviations. I have no sympathy for these German SMS abbreviations, which are neither as standardized as the German nor do they fit in the German system of abbreviating. It's horrible for me. Anyway, what the majority of SMS users do not realise is that these abbreviations are usenet style and not genuine SMS. 

BTW [sic!], I do NOT call every change the same anyway. There are indeed many changes due to English influence, but there are also many changes due to lack of education or spreading general superficiality in Germany, among many other reasons of course.

Kajjo


----------



## elroy

Yes, I know about the difference between sensible Anglicisms and unnecessary ones, but the fact of the matter is that in English you do _not_ sign a letter or e-mail with "Love" unless you are very close to the person you are writing to.  That's why I would not consider the usage of "ich hab' Dich lieb" with casual friends to be an _Anglicism_. 

As for SMS abbreviations, I'm not sure I follow your logic.  You would be happier if SMS users used _English_ abbreviations in their _German_ SMS's, because using German ones demonstrates that they are "too dumb" to use the English ones?    You would rather somebody ended their German SMS with "TC" ("take care") than "LG" ("Liebe Grüße")?  Furthermore, there is no law that states that such abbreviations are restricted to certain contexts and not others.  They are quite appropriate for SMS's, where space is an issue!


----------



## jebbe

elroy said:


> Yes, I know about the difference between sensible Anglicisms and unnecessary ones, but the fact of the matter is that in English you do _not_ sign a letter or e-mail with "Love" unless you are very close to the person you are writing to.  That's why I would not consider the usage of "ich hab' Dich lieb" with casual friends to be an _Anglicism_.


I did not intend to say that _casual_ friends sign their SMS's with "HDL", whereas close friends do. Also, it seems to be more commonly used by girls than by boys. However, friends do not have to be _intimate_ (in the sense of _extremely close_) for "HDL" to be used. I would say that the usage is comparable to the one of the English "love", at least I do know a girl who frequently gets emails from her American (female) cousin signed with "love".

jebbe


----------



## Kajjo

elroy said:


> You would rather somebody ended their German SMS with "TC" ("take care") than "LG" ("Liebe Grüße")?


I will try to stay outside of SMS discussion from now on. It is just not my world. by the way, "Liebe Grüße" is a very intimate way of ending a message and the word "Liebe" is used in a non-serious way. I do not like that.

What I meant was, that independently of SMS context, capital letter abbreviations are not used in this way in German. It is just taking over the English style without thinking. 

Kajjo


----------



## jazyk

It's my observation that Americans _do _say (maybe all English speakers?) _I love you_ much more often than everybody else. You don't hear many (_Eu) te amo_'s in Brazil, not even among family". For me to say _I love you/(Eu) te amo_, I must really mean it, and I just say it to that special one.


----------



## elroy

jazyk said:


> It's my observation that Americans _do _say (maybe all English speakers?) _I love you_ much more often than everybody else.


 This is certainly true, but you also don't say "I love you" to just anyone.  It's usually reserved for close family members and significant others.


----------



## Lykurg

elroy said:
			
		

> you also don't say "I love you" to just anyone. It's usually reserved for close family members and significant others.


I'd never say "Ich liebe dich" to a however close relative (not even my mother) or some "significant other" - this phrase is reserved to my girlfriend.
"Ich hab(e) dich lieb" is intimate enough for other persons I really like.


----------



## Kajjo

Lykurg said:


> I'd never say "Ich liebe dich" to a however close relative (not even my mother) or some "significant other" - this phrase is reserved to my girlfriend. "Ich hab(e) dich lieb" is intimate enough for other persons I really like.


I agree entirely. "Ich habe Dich lieb." is also reserved for _very _close relatives in my case and most of those I know well enough.

This is obviously contrary to American usage and it is contrary to what we appear to experience in SMS practice becoming regular. I despise that. It does not fit in our German culture at all.

Kajjo


----------



## jazyk

> I'd never say "Ich liebe dich" to a however close relative (not even my mother) or some "significant other" - this phrase is reserved to my girlfriend.


I totally agree.


----------



## elroy

Yes, I am aware of all that; it's the same in Arabic.  All I was saying was that just because "(I) love you" is used more commonly in English than in other languages does not mean that it's used with any old friend/family member.


----------



## gaer

This is an extremely complicated matter in English. Here are only a few points that come to mind:

1) Signing a letter with "Love XXX," may have been much more common when I was young. I did sign letters this way to my mother and grandmother. I never use this today with anyone except my wife.

2) One guy I have known for a few years now often signs:

"Love Dhrxxx,"

But he lives in India, and his approach to friendship, intimacy and respect is very different from that of anyone else I've met in any other English-speaking country.

3) In general, the simple phrase "I love you" is used very differently from country to country and even from region to region within a country.

4) "Ethnic background" also plays a part in usage.

5) Girls and women are much likely to use "I love you" to indicate a strong feeling of friendship and nothing more.

This is only the START of potential problems.

I would suggest that before we talk about using "I love you" that we be VERY careful about explaining the EXACT context we have in mind. Otherwise we are guaranteed to have some very embarrassing moments! 

Gaer


----------



## SputnikMsc

Would it be correct if I state the following:
1. "Ich liebe dich" is appropriate to use ONLY with your lovers or someone you'd like to be your lover (in case of unrequested love).
2. "Ich habe dich lieb" you use when you want to express your affection to anybody else, including your child or mother for example.

The thing is that in Russian and in English it exists only one way to express your affection is to say "I love you". Yes, it's quite strong but we do not have anything close to "Ich habe dich lieb". As for the others forms such as "I like you", "I am fond of you" etc we can't really use it with our kids or parents or other close relatives. So we use "I love you". And consequently we use this expression for other our close people such as friends. 

That is why "I love you" or just "Love" is used more widely than in German. However between intimate partners it means a lot, and I am sure none of them uses it as freely as in signing letters to their friends.

In Ukranian there is kind of an opposite to German case. They have general "I love you" (exact words as in Russian), which they can say to anyone including their children or parents. And they have "I _Love_ you" only for their lovers (I use the word 'lover' to show that I mean really special people). I can't translate  in other way because in English there is no such phrase. So I bet it could be confusion too.


----------



## Sowka

Hello SputnikMsc 

Welcome to the German forum!

I think your understanding is correct.


----------



## Geviert

Zurück zur Sache:

  I like you. = Ich mag Dich.
I love you. = Ich liebe Dich.


----------

