# How to start a joke?



## Frank06

Hi,

In Dutch, one of the ways to start a joke is something like:

_Komt een man bij de de dokter..._
[lit. Comes - a man  - at the doctor's...]

This sentence is strictly speaking ungrammatical; in Dutch we should say something as '*Er* komt een man...". 
Nevertheless, the 'ungrammatical' structure can be used (and _is_ used) and it kind of signals "what follows is a joke".

So, two questions:
1. How would you translate this sentence in your language (in the context of a joke).
2. Does this initial phrase differ grammatically from the more 'correct' sentence.

Thanks in advance,

Frank


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## Dr. Quizá

How curious. In Spanish could be the same, but it's grammatically correct:

Va un hombre al médico y...

[Goes a man to the doctor and...]


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## Hakro

I have learned only the basics of Spanish, but I think that the normal word order would be "Un hombre va al médico y..." ???

In Finnish we use the grammatically correct form and normal word order even when starting a joke:

_Mies tuli tohtorille..._
 [lit. A man came at the doctor's...]

Another point is the tense; we generally use past tense also for jokes but it seems that in Dutch and Spanish, as in English, the present tense is preferred. Is it so?


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## ukuca

In Turkish, we often start the joke with "Adamın biri...." (A Guy... / [lit] One of a guy...), it fits to the word order but I'm not exactly sure if it is grammatically true.


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## Dr. Quizá

Hakro said:


> I have learned only the basics of Spanish, but I think that the normal word order would be "Un hombre va al médico y..." ???



Spanish is quite flexible regarding the order of the parts of a sentence; even more flexible than other languages that have some flexions and function markers that Spanish lack of:

*Un hombre/va/al médico.* (Subject/Verb/Place)
Un hombre al médico va. (SPV)
*Va un hombre al médico.* (VSP)
*Va al médico un hombre.* (VPS)
Al médico va un hombre. (PVS)
Al médico un hombre va. (PSV)

All of them are correct, although they may sound somewhat different, be not equally often used, and express different nuances. I think SVP, VSP and VPS are the most used in this kind of jokes.

Actually, to be used to all these order options is the reason of lots of order mistakes of us in other languages (I bet I've made at least one).


> Another point is the tense; we generally use past tense also for jokes but it seems that in Dutch and Spanish, as in English, the present tense is preferred. Is it so?



That's an interesting observation. In Spanish past is more used in real stories than in jokes.


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## jana.bo99

Slovenian: Kako povedati vic?

Croatian:   Kako ispričati vic?

German:    Wie ein Witz zu erzaehlen?

All three, look strange to me!


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## Frank06

Hi Janabo,

Thanks for the reply, but to be honest (and hopefully not too, erm, frank), this is not what I am looking for. I don't need to know how to translate the phrase 'How to start a joke?'



jana.bo99 said:


> Slovenian: Kako povedati vic?
> Croatian: Kako ispričati vic?
> German: Wie ein Witz zu erzaehlen?


 
I am wondering if there is a possibility in other languages to start a joke with a (seemingly) ungrammatical construction as is possible (but not necessary) in Duch. And if that 'ungrammatical' construction can signal 'Hey guys, what follows next is a joke' or at least can trigger the expectation that a joke will follow.

Groetjes,

Frank


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## Outsider

Frank06 said:


> _Komt een man bij de de dokter..._
> [lit. Comes - a man  - at the doctor's...]
> 
> [...]
> 
> 1. How would you translate this sentence in your language (in the context of a joke).


Portuguese: _Um homem vai ao médico..._



Frank06 said:


> 2. Does this initial phrase differ grammatically from the more 'correct' sentence.


It does not.


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## shallicompare

Frank06 said:


> Hi,
> 
> In Dutch, one of the ways to start a joke is something like:
> 
> _Komt een man bij de de dokter..._
> [lit. Comes - a man - at the doctor's...]
> 
> This sentence is strictly speaking ungrammatical; in Dutch we should say something as '*Er* komt een man...".
> Nevertheless, the 'ungrammatical' structure can be used (and _is_ used) and it kind of signals "what follows is a joke".
> 
> So, two questions:
> 1. How would you translate this sentence in your language (in the context of a joke).
> 2. Does this initial phrase differ grammatically from the more 'correct' sentence.
> 
> Thanks in advance,
> 
> Frank


Hi Frank, you might already know this, but in German we often start jokes the same way, "Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt und...". It should go like this "Es kommt ..". 
We also take this wrong grammar to childrens´songs, like this one "Kommt ein Vogel geflogen, setzt sich nieder auf mein´ Fuß.."

I think it´s something we´ve simply adapted from old German, when grammar wasn´t the same.
cheers, Yvonne


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## Frank06

Hi,


shallicompare said:


> Hi Frank, you might already know this, but in German we often start jokes the same way, "Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt und...". It should go like this "Es kommt ..".
> We also take this wrong grammar to childrens´songs, like this one "Kommt ein Vogel geflogen, setzt sich nieder auf mein´ Fuß.."


I wasn't sure about German! Thanks for the information.

Well, actually, I am not even sure about English . Is something as 'Comes a man...' possible (or used) as the starting sentence of a joke? A quick search suggests something as '*Here* comes a man...'.
I am also wondering about the other Germanic languages.

Thanks.

Groetjes,

Frank


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## Jana337

In Czech, we do it like in Dutch (and also in the present tense): Přijde muž k lékaři a říká ...

Except for jokes, I can't think of any other usage of this word order but I don't dare call it ungrammatical as our word order is extremely flexible.


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## Frank06

Hi Jana, all,



Jana337 said:


> In Czech, we do it like in Dutch (and also in the present tense): Přijde muž k lékaři a říká ...
> Except for jokes, I can't think of any other usage of this word order but I don't dare call it ungrammatical as our word order is extremely flexible.


I should have thought of it before (and the replies concerning Spanish should have woken me up earlier). I should have used the terms 'marked / unmarked construction'.

Groetjes,

Frank


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## papillon

Frank06 said:


> Well, actually, I am not even sure about English . Is something as 'Comes a man...' possible (or used) as the starting sentence of a joke?


I don't think you're likeley hear that for a joke in the US. More probable is that it will be the stereotypical "So this guy goes to the doctor..." or the venerable "So a priest, a rabbi and a monkey walk into a bar...".

In Russian we do often start a joke with a verb "<Значит> приходит мужик к врачу..." - "So comes a man to the doctor...". Like in Czech this is not considered ungrammatical as the word order is quite flexible in Russian.


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## elpoderoso

In England it would be something like '' (so) A man goes to the doctor...''or even ''this man goes...''


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## Stéphane89

In French, I would say:

*C'est un homme qui va chez le docteur et ...* [It's a man who goes to the doctor and...]
Or, *C'est l'histoire d'un homme qui va chez les docteur ...* [It's the story of a man who goes to the doctor ...]


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## kusurija

Jana337 said:


> In Czech, we do it like in Dutch (and also in the present tense): Přijde muž k lékaři a říká ...
> 
> Except for jokes, I can't think of any other usage of this word order but I don't dare call it ungrammatical as our word order is extremely flexible.


You are absolutely right, I'll only add some very negligible notices  . 
in the present tense - yes, actually it IS present tense, but in meaning of future tense, as the verb is in perfective form. But common understanding again turns to present time sense.
muž - we also say: "pán" or "chlap/chlápek"
říká - we also say: "povídá/pá"
The form "pá" is very shortened from povídá, and, naturally, is absolutely ungrammatical. All other parts are grammatical.


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## Angel.Aura

In Italian:
Un uomo va dal dottore... 
(A man goes to the doctor..., present tense, grammatically correct)


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## Encolpius

Jana337 said:


> In Czech, we do it like in Dutch (and also in the present tense): *Přijde muž k lékaři a říká *...



Interesting topic, first of all, because I have no idea how to start it in Hungarian.  While I know the Czech version very well (or cannot remrmber now)
Maybe we don't have any set phrase.  I hope other Hungarians can help me.


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## ilocas2

Serbian:

Dođe čovek kod doktora ...


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## franknagy

Hungarian:
We start with "egy ember elmegy a doktorhoz" rarer than with the name with a typical hero of jokes. We sustiute "egy ember" with such names:
Arisztid or Tasziló = stupid aristocrat,
Móricka = small boy with sexist phantasy,
Kohn or Grün = a Jew.


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## elroy

Palestinian Arabic:

مرة واحد راح عند الدكتور (literally "one time a guy went to the doctor")

We start with the word مرة ("one time") and then use the past tense.


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## francisgranada

In Spanish, I've found that it's typical to begin with the verb (it's not a rule, of course). Some concrete examples:

_Llega un gallego de Nueva York y trae consigo una televisión... 
Va una chica con su abuela al médico y le dice el doctor ...
Estaba Jaimito llorando todo triste en un banco ... 
Llega Jaimito tarde a la escuela y la maestra le dice ...
Llaman por teléfono a una casa y dicen ...
etc._


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## franknagy

Dr. Quizá said:


> Un hombre/va/al médico.


En chistes húngaros : "Dos (X) andan por el desierto." Continuacion frecuente: "Ellos se encuentran con el tercero."

(X) por ejemplo
= himen
= letra O
= beduino

Otros:
"Estebi corre llorando a su mamá .."
"Aristid y Tasilo se encuentran en la calle."


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## Chrzaszcz Saproksyliczny

That's an old thread, but if you're lacking a Polish equivalent...
the 2 most cliche ways to begin a joke in Polish are:

_Przychodzi baba do lekarza*... _(a woman comes to the doctor - usually followed by a pun)
and
_Polak, Rusek i Niemiec..._ (a Pole, a Ruskie and a German... - afterwards usually comes a story based on stereotypes)

Both are so old and overused, that any joke starting like that is hard to amuse any listener.

* this sentence is grammatically correct, also because Polish is not a language with only one word order possible.


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## franknagy

Chrzaszcz Saproksyliczny said:


> Polak, Rusek i Niemiec


Three presidents (two of great powers, the third is a hated dictator of a small country) are doing something
Such jokes can be actualized to the present leaders:
E.g. The American president, the Main Secretary of the Russian Communist Party and Ceausescu/Orban visit the Pope.
The Pope allows The American president to kiss his hand. He allows Main Secretary of the Russian Communist Party to kiss his foot.
The Pope kisses Ceausescu's/Orban's hand. The other president run back to the Pope angrily.
- Our empire is much bigger than Ceausescu's/Orban's one. Why did you kissed his hand?
The Pope explains:
- You are mortals. Ceausescu/Orban is similar to Jesus Christ.
- What? Why?
- _He was born in a manger. He was educated among shmos. A full country is awaiting for his ascension._
====================
The same 3 persons are traveling on the board of an airplane.
Aviator to cabin:
- Your excellences. We are crashing down. You can find only two parachutes.
C/O:
- My nation cannot miss me.
He is taking a bag and jumps out.
The American president is staring hopelessly to the Main Secretary of the Russian Communist Party.
The later is telling him:
- Don't shit your trousers. _Colleague C/O has jumped out with the fire-extinguisher._


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