# Male with many platonic female friends



## bauer

Hello there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a term for a guy who has lots of platonic female friends? Sort of the equivilant of a fag hag, but not necessarily with the inference that the friends are gay. I have no idea whether such a term exists, so if not I may have to coin one and would welcome any suggestions  Thanks in advance


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## la reine victoria

Fairy Godfather.

LRV


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## tomatico

I've never heard a catchy term for this, but maybe it could be 'a man in touch with his feminine side'???


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## .   1

Normal.

.,,


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## Chazzwozzer

Maybe *"lady's man" *or less possibly *"womanizer"* also could work here?


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## elroy

Chazzwozzer said:


> Maybe *"lady's man" *or less possibly *"womanizer"* also could work here?


 No.  These would suggest that the man befriends women for reasons that are anything but platonic.


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## la reine victoria

A female who seeks out the company of gay men is called a Fairy Godmother.  These are women who don't wish to have an intimate relationship with a man - they know that they are safe amongst gay men.

By the same token, gay men who seek out platonic relationships with women, may be called Fairy Godfathers.

LRV


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## JamesM

bauer said:


> Hello there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a term for a guy who has lots of platonic female friends? Sort of the equivilant of a fag hag, but not necessarily with the inference that the friends are gay.


 
But "fag hag" specifically means that the male friends _are_ gay, so you're not asking for a male version of "fag hag" at all.

Just out of curiosity, what would you call a woman who hangs out with heterosexual guys as a platonic friend? I don't know any word for that either. The phrase I would use is "she's just one of the boys." I suppose you could use the same phrase for the man and say "he's just one of the girls." 

By the way, welcome to the forum!


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## tomatico

Maybe *"lady's man" *or less possibly *"womanizer"* also could work here?

...why such a negative connotation??


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## elroy

la reine victoria said:


> By the same token, gay men who seek out platonic relationships with women, may be called Fairy Godfathers.


 The question was not specifically about gay men, but about any men who have many platonic female friends. 


JamesM said:


> But "fag hag" specifically means that the male friends _are_ gay, so you're not asking for a male version of "fag hag" at all.


 I think the point was that Bauer was looking for another word to identify a type of person based on certain characteristics of the company he keeps.


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## la reine victoria

> Elroy
> The question was not specifically about gay men, but about any men who have many platonic female friends.


 
Oops!  Begging your pardon.  The word "fag" misled me.

In that case I agree with .,,'s "normal".

LRV


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## sloopjc

bauer said:


> Hello there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a term for a guy who has lots of platonic female friends? Sort of the equivilant of a fag hag, but not necessarily with the inference that the friends are gay. I have no idea whether such a term exists, so if not I may have to coin one and would welcome any suggestions  Thanks in advance



My partners son is 22, and was always going to be the sort to attract girls as friends. He's just been through a 'best-buddies' stage of life with several different guys his age and now when he goes out he has at least three girls with him. Why? Because he's androgynous, and that's attractive to a lot of women.

      The truth is, a great mind must be androgynous.
                                                  --Coleridge.
      [1913 Webster]


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## cuchuflete

sloopjc said:


> My partners son is 22, and was always going to be the sort to attract girls as friends. He's just been through a 'best-buddies' stage of life with several different guys his age and now when he goes out he has at least three girls with him. Why? Because he's androgynous, and that's attractive to a lot of women.
> 
> The truth is, a great mind must be androgynous.
> --Coleridge.
> [1913 Webster]



This is unclear to me.  What does "best-buddies" stage of life have to do with a man who has
platonic female friends?   If the person you describe is attractive to women, does that make the women his friends?  Does that make the relationship of the man and the women platonic?

We have been asked for a term to apply to a man with several platonic female friends.

Are you suggesting that only "androgynous" males can have several platonic female friends?


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## sloopjc

cuchuflete said:


> Are you suggesting that only "androgynous" males can have several platonic female friends?



Nope. I'm suggesting a phrase. The phrase is _androgynous. 
_


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## cuchuflete

sloopjc said:


> Nope. I'm suggesting a phrase. The phrase is _androgynous.
> _



That's a misleading suggestion.  Your partner may have a son who has the habit of going out
with multiple females.  He may be short and plump.   That is not a precondition for going out with several females, whether or not they are his friends.   He may be androgynous.  That is also not a precondition for doing so, nor is it the sole cause of his doing so.  There is no causality in being androgynous and having several female platonic friends.


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## timpeac

sloopjc said:


> Nope. I'm suggesting a phrase. The phrase is _androgynous. _


You have also confused me - are you suggesting that the word "androgynous" denotes a man with many female friends? If so I completely disagree, if not you are completely off-topic. Please clarify.


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## .   1

Priests have a lot of platonic female friends.

.,,


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## la reine victoria

. said:


> Priests have a lot of platonic female friends.
> 
> .,,


 
As do pub landlords.

LRV


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## .   1

sloopjc said:


> My partners son is 22, and was always going to be the sort to attract girls as friends. He's just been through a 'best-buddies' stage of life with several different guys his age and now when he goes out he has at least three girls with him. Why? Because he's androgynous, and that's attractive to a lot of women.


The Collins dictionary
*androgynous* _adj_ *1*_  Botany_. having male and female flowers in the same inflourescence, as plantain *2*  having male and female characteristics.

Does this mean that you consider your partner's son to carry 'flowers' of both genders or does he just look a bit like a girl?

There may be a severe translation problem here but _androgynous_ is not a descriptive that would be welcomed by many 22 year old boys.

It seems that androgynous may not fit the bill.

.,,


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## timpeac

sloopjc said:


> I agree, but it's commonplace knowledge where I live, nevertheless.


There is a saying that all black-birds are black birds but not all black birds are black-birds.

Similarly androgenous men may tend to have more female friends (according to you) but it is specious to infer that men having female friends are androgenous, and this thread has requested a word that denotes men having female friends. "Androgenous" is not the answer to the question asked, and your family tales off-topic.


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## tomatico

I cast my vote for 'normal'.


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## .   1

tomatico said:


> I cast my vote for 'normal'.


I recast my normal vote by voting for this opinion.

.,,


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## la reine victoria

. said:


> I recast my normal vote by voting for this opinion.
> 
> .,,


 
I second this vote once again.

LRV


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## JamesM

"Androgynous" has to do with the physical characteristics of the person, not their relationships with members of the opposite sex. That would be a very confusing word to use to mean "has platonic friends of the opposite sex."   If you use this word, expect to generate a lot of confusion.


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## Joelline

I like "normal" as well; however, if I had to describe this man, I'd say, "He's a man who genuinely likes (the company of) women."


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## .   1

Joelline said:


> I like "normal" as well; however, if I had to describe this man, I'd say, "He's a man who genuinely likes (the company of) women."


To take this most excellent logic may I suggest;
A man.

.,,


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## JamesM

How about "philogynist"?    It's a word, but it's a bit of a stretch for the current context.


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## timpeac

How about "he's a woman's man" (as opposed to a "ladies' man" or a "man's man").


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## cuchuflete

All further off-topic posts will be deleted.  Please read and address the question in post #1.


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## Joelline

In a more formal context, "philogynist" is perfect!


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## cuchuflete

> *Philogynist*
> \Phi*log"y*nist\, n. [See Philogyny.] A lover or friend of women; one who esteems woman as the higher type of humanity;


Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary

That certainly supports all those who said "normal".


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## sloopjc

Joelline said:


> In a more formal context, "philogynist" is perfect!



It could be said that a philogynist only yearns to meet as many women as possible. It doesn't specify that his respect and admiration for them wins him their company. He might simply admire then from a distance.


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## AngelEyes

Terms that come to my mind still don't feel like the final answer to the original question here, but I offer them anyway:

1. Consort (Feels old-fashioned and out-of-date)
2. Escort or Male Escort (Seems to carry present-day negativity with it)
3. Male Companion (Also feels obsolete)

I add the word "escort" because there are men who escort women to social functions who are straight and who do it out of friendship, not for money.


I don't like the word, "normal" because it somehow feels judgmental to me, probably because we're talking about heterosexual men as opposed to gay men. It just doesn't seem to be politically correct, and I'm not comfortable using it in this fashion, as it pertains to the question.

In my circle of friends, we call guys who are straight but just good friends our "best buds" or our "girlfriends." Honestly, there are some guys women think of as their girlfriends, no sexual connotations, no gay-ness in the mix of it all, either.


*AngelEyes*


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## mieumieu

I honestly don't think that a term has been coined.  I also don't think that there is a term for women who have almost all male friends like me.  I am not a tomboy so that one is out.


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## GEmatt

bauer said:


> Hello there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a term for a guy who has lots of platonic female friends? Sort of the equivilant of a fag hag, but not necessarily with the inference that the friends are gay. I have no idea whether such a term exists, so if not I may have to coin one and would welcome any suggestions  Thanks in advance


Right. I'll be shot down for this, but I think that if everything people personally perceived as "normal" were to be defined as such, we would be able to do away with large swathes of our vocabulary.

Bauer has given a specific though somewhat confusing example, namely the male version of a "fag hag", within a heterosexual context. In fact, there are numerous terms for such a guy, depending on the nature of the relationship. Most are colourfully "contemporary", but some are part of everyday language.

For slang expressions bordering on the vulgar (on the basis that the same person who will use a word like "fag hag" will be unlikely to name someone else a "philogynist"), "_Ladder Theory_", expounded on various websites, provides a wealth of (humorous) terms and illustrative contexts. Not everyone's cup of tea, but then, nothing is.

For the more neutral and socially acceptable, I cast my vote with Angel_Eye_'s suggestions of "(best) bud" and "girlfriend", as equally appropriate to bauer's example; I'd also add "mate".

Twenty or thirty years ago, "fag hag" may have been used and/or taken as an insult, but in my experience (let's say over the last 15 years), this has rarely been the case. Like many slang words, the intent with which it is used counts for much. In this case, however, I have found its use to be either teasing, jocular, or even positive (complimentary/empowering), and almost exclusively so.


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## Nunty

Joelline said:


> I like "normal" as well; however, if I had to describe this man, I'd say, "He's a man who genuinely likes (the company of) women."


Bravo, Joelline. I think is far and away the best suggestion so far.


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## bauer

Ta for all your replies, I realise the question was a bit ambiguous but couldn't really think of a good way of phrasing it. Perhaps I should explain that I'm currently writing a novel and want a term which my main character could call someone in a jokey fashion. Therefore normal isn't really appropriate!

Anyway, sorry if I offended anyone, but thanks for wishing me good luck with my life by the way .,,


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## helendeformsa

bauer said:


> Hello there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a term for a guy who has lots of platonic female friends? Sort of the equivilant of a fag hag, but not necessarily with the inference that the friends are gay. I have no idea whether such a term exists, so if not I may have to coin one and would welcome any suggestions  Thanks in advance


 
In our culture, our similar counterpart is "the prince of school girls", but in this case I would call him one of the following:

1. a girl-friendly prince
2. a ladys'-friendship-winning prince
3. a girls'-heart winner


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## maxiogee

GEmatt said:


> Bauer has given a specific though somewhat confusing example, namely the male version of a "fag hag", within a heterosexual context.


Surely the fact that 'platonic' is specifically stated in the requirement does away with the notion of any form of _~sexuality_ being involved.

I would query the need for any word toi describe this sort of person as I think most people, of all _~sexual_ variations, fall into this category. 
Do not most people have totally platonic relationships with the majority of the people they know - of either gender? I can't be the only person I know who doesn't lust after most of my acquaintances.


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## GEmatt

maxiogee said:


> Surely the fact that 'platonic' is specifically stated in the requirement does away with the notion of any form of _~sexuality_ being involved.


Well, yes. I mentioned heterosexual in the sense of orientation, not actual activity.





> I would query the need for any word to describe this sort of person as I think most people, of all _~sexual_ variations, fall into this category.


Possibly. I wouldn't normally even comment on such a person - it's just not something I give any thought or importance to. But I take it as being of humorous intent, as a caricature, and part of that is to do with exaggeration of traits, I think.


> Do not most people have totally platonic relationships with the majority of the people they know - of either gender? I can't be the only person I know who doesn't lust after most of my acquaintances.


'Platonic' doesn't stop me from secretly lusting after all of them. It's a hands-off policy, is all.


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## bauer

maxiogee said:


> I would query the need for any word toi describe this sort of person as I think most people, of all _~sexual_ variations, fall into this category.



Indeed, I agree with you. However, as I said in my second post, I'm looking for a phrase I can use in my work of fiction, hopefully with comedic effect.


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## maxiogee

bauer said:


> Indeed, I agree with you. However, as I said in my second post, I'm looking for a phrase I can use in my work of fiction, hopefully with comedic effect.


 
Well then, how about keeping to the rhyming and using 'straight mate'?


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## winklepicker

I don't suppose this helps, but there is also _a walker_. This does not have the implication of lots of women and one guy, but it does have the feeling of GEMAtt's 'hands-off policy' (nice, GEMAtt!) or platonicism. (Platonicness? Platonism? - whatever).

_Walker__ - meaning 4 (NOT the others!)_


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## cuchuflete

Platonically Correct Female Follower

Female Fancying Fellow


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## maxiogee

GEmatt said:


> 'Platonic' doesn't stop me from secretly lusting after all of them.


Well, it does, actually. 
Platonic is defined as *free from physical desire; "platonic love" *according to WordReference's English Definition.



GEmatt said:


> It's a hands-off policy, is all.


No, it's a minds-off policy!


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## sloopjc

maxiogee said:


> Well, it does, actually.
> Platonic is defined as *free from physical desire; "platonic love" *according to WordReference's English Definition.
> 
> ....it's a minds-off policy!




That sounds like a David Blaine-style challenge! Who'd bother? You still have to maintain the platonic relationship at whatever cost.
_
quote: "'Platonic' doesn't stop me from secretly lusting after all of them." 
_But it is supposed to, so I'm with maxiogee on this point.


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## GEmatt

maxiogee said:


> Well, it does, actually.
> Platonic is defined as *free from physical desire; "platonic love" *according to WordReference's English Definition.


OK. I got my definition from Wiktionary and the COED, where it is essentially "non-sexual" (not much comment on the desire aspect), so that suggests to me that, as long as I can keep my hands from wandering, I'm free to be a total satyr, in my head, of course...





> No, it's a minds-off policy!


Fair enough; I'll keep mine on standby


> But it is supposed to, so I'm with maxiogee on this point.


Alright alright.. I concede the point.

GEmatt


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## AngelEyes

maxiogee said:


> Well then, how about keeping to the rhyming and using 'straight mate'?


 

bauer:

What's your target audience for your book? Straight Single Title Contemporary, Erotic Romance with Humor, Light and Fluffy, Mainly Comedy, Mainstream Fiction, Inspirational Romance? What? That detail provides lots of additional help.

I like maxiogee's term, "straight mate", actually! I think it's "cute" without being offensive to anybody. Maybe he was joking, but I like it.  

I find it amusing that girls always believe we can be just friends with guys and there's nothing else there, and guys seem to play along with that hypothosis, just to placate us, knowing all along that, just like Harry said to Sally: "Men can't be friends with women they find attractive." When she asks him about the ugly girls, he replies, "No, we pretty much want to nail them, too."


*AngelEyes*


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## JamesM

AngelEyes said:


> I like maxiogee's term, "straight mate", actually! I think it's "cute" without being offensive to anybody. Maybe he was joking, but I like it.


 
I add my vote for Maxiogee's "straight mate".  It has a nice ring to it.


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## John-Paul

I'm a stay-at-home dad and most of my friends happen to be women. Let's just look at that sentence, "Male with many platonic female friends.'' What's the difference between having coffee with a "friend," "a female friend," or "a platonic female friend"? The last one sounds almost unnatural. Back in the Roman days you had to be a eunuch to be able to be around women who belonged to other men. When I'm having lunch with my friends don't call me anything but a friend.


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## bauer

AngelEyes said:


> bauer:
> 
> What's your target audience for your book? Straight Single Title Contemporary, Erotic Romance with Humor, Light and Fluffy, Mainly Comedy, Mainstream Fiction, Inspirational Romance? What? That detail provides lots of additional help.
> 
> 
> 
> *AngelEyes*



Er, don't know really, I guess mainly humorous. I would like it be Nick Hornby-ish (is he famous in the states?) but I doubt it's that good 

I like 'straight mate' too


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## GEmatt

John-Paul said:


> Let's just look at that sentence, "Male with many platonic female friends.'' (...) The last one sounds almost unnatural.


I agree. "Male with platonic female friends" sounds like some sort of affliction.  I do like maxiogee's "straight mate". Sounds spunky.





> Back in the Roman days you had to be a eunuch to be able to be around women who belonged to other men.


 Back in the Roman days, women "belonged" to men, too...

GEmatt


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## AngelEyes

bauer said:


> Er, don't know really, I guess mainly humorous. I would like it be Nick Hornby-ish (is he famous in the states?) but I doubt it's that good
> 
> I like 'straight mate' too


 

Sorry, I've never heard of Nick Hornby. But you'd be helping yourself tremendously if you actually sat down and decided just what category you were focused on.

Slapstick humor is much different from Sexy Innuendo-type humor. Your decision will probably steer you toward the kinds of words and terms you need. 

If your whole book is light and sexy-teasing in tone, you can go a little more bawdy and irreverent.

"Straight-mate" would seem a little "watered-down" for a sexy story. 

Though, the more I read this thread, the more I see potential in writing a scene around this very subject between the characters involved that had you asking the question in the first place!


*AngelEyes*


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## tomatico

I think it is not so much the presence or absence of sexual desires, but what one does with the energy that is present in those desires in all of us to varying degrees. Do you think that it is possible to cultivate that energy into a positive force that actually _helps_ one to focus on the aspects of a relationship that are important, meaningful, and lasting (sex could be included in that category, but so could other aspects of a relationship) rather than dragging one to a place better left unvisited?

In this regard, maybe such a person would be called an ‘awakened man’ or a ‘liberated man'.

Maybe that’s too deep (hehehehe)…..


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## .   1

bauer said:


> Anyway, sorry if I offended anyone, but thanks for wishing me good luck with my life by the way .,,


You are quite welcome and may I add that a little context makes all the difference between an ignorant yobbo and a seeker of words.

.,,


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