# When pigs fly! (never, impossible)



## chrislintz

Hello!

I'm looking for idioms or phrases that people around the word use to express something's *sheer impossibility*. For instance, in many English-speaking countries it is common to hear "When pigs fly!" or "When hell freezes over." or "Not in a month of Sundays!" as a sarcastic response to something wild, unexpected or improbable.

I've found a few already on the boards - but I was hoping to get some from more countries. What do you use to say this? If you could include a literal translation and the country of origin, that would be amazing!

thanks - chris


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## ayed

Welcome to the Arabic forum:

Of course, we have.For exampe, in colloquial Badawi dialect:

_1.When cows go to Hajj(pilgrimage) on their horns(idha Hajj al-baqar ala quroonih._It holds the same meaning of "When pigs fly".
2.Someone may say:" I will not do this even if/untill my grandfather comes out of his grave.
There are many expressions in Arabic classic and colloquial.


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## Tajabone

Hi and welcome on board 

 It's a good question mainly if we consider the lack of synonyms and expressions dictionaries in Arabic ...

 The expression that comes to my mind right now is : *في لمنام*

 = "Fi lemnaam" which means "in your dreams".

 It's (center) Algerian dialect.

 Bye !


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## MarcB

Tajabone said:


> It's a good question mainly if we consider the lack of synonyms and expressions dictionaries in Arabic ...


*ابعد من نجوم السما*​


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## Chazzwozzer

Hi Chris,

Here are the Turkish expressions we use commonly to express the impossibility:*

çıkmaz ayın son Çarşambasında/Perşembesinde: *on the last Wednesday/Thursday of the dead-end month _(the latter is less common)_
*
kırmızı/pembe kar yağınca: *when the red/pink snow falls

*balık kavağa çıkınca: *when the fish climbs up the poplar


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## Tajabone

Always Algerian dialect (center area):

*طير ولا جنّح* = "Tiir ula Djennah" --> Literally "Fly or flutter (you won't get it anyway) ".

In a severe but friendly way, there's also :

*يا لوكان تموت* = "ya lukaan t'muut" meaning "even if you could come to die (you won't have/get it, succeed, etc.) "


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## Jana337

A Slavic thread about the same. 

Jana


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## ernest_

We say:

if this is true... I am a monk/nun.
or... I am the Pope.

That or: Not even you/your mother believes it.


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## optimistique

In Dutch we say among others:

*Dan kun je wachten tot je een ons weegt *(you can wait until you weigh an ounce)

*wachten* *tot Sint-Juttemis* (wait for Saint Juttemis' day, which of course doesn't exist).

*Als Pinksteren op een vrijdag valt (???)* (when Whitsun falls on a friday; I'm not sure about this one, other Dutch speakers please help me!)

And I know there must be more, but I can't think of them now.


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

In Latin American Spanish:

- Cuando llueva pa' arriba => When it rains upwards.
- Cuando el gallo ponga => When the rooster lays an egg.
- El martes chino => On the Chinese tuesday.
- Sí, claro, y las vacas vuelan! => Yeah, right, and cows can fly!
- Yo te aviso, chirulí => I'll let you know (chirulí is impossible to translate)
And my personal favorite, which I've only heard in a song:
- Cuando los sapos bailen flamenco => When frogs learn to dance flamenco.

There are others, but I can't remember them now.

Oh, and we also have these sligtly different expressions:
- Me vas a cortar con ese vaso de cartón? => Are you trying to cut me with that papercup? (As in, do you expect me to believe such a lie?)
- A otro perro con ese hueso => Throw that bone to a different dog (It can be used in many ways, _disbeilef_ being the main one)
- Sopla aquí (showing a plain open eye) => Blow out in here (As in, it is as probable as the fact that I would allow you to poke me in the eye)
- Eso no te lo cree ni tu abuela => Not even your grandmother would believe that.


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## Chazzwozzer

They also say *"on the Greek calends" *in English, as far as I know.


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## linguist786

I can't actually think of one for *Gujarati* right now, but we do have a vulgar expression which is:

_gon maa thii_ (aspirated t)

which literally means "from one's arse" 

but it's used quite commonly between friends and informal situations.


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## chrislintz

Wow! Thank you all -- and keep them coming if you have more.

I very much like the 'fly or flutter,' far more subtle than 'kick and scream.'


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## olivinha

I see a lot of expressions with "impossibles" dates to convey impossibility.
In Braz Portuguese, we have at least one I can remember:
no dia 30 de fevereiro = on the 30th of February.

Other than that...
Nem que a vaca tussa = not even if the cow coughs.

O


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## .   1

My wife tells me that a common such Czeck saying is similar to, "I'll wear The Pope's hat before that happens!"
One that I like is,
"You've got two chances.  Bob Hope and Bob Hope's brother which is no damned hope at all."
I have always assumed that Bob Hope either had changed his name or never had a brother.


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## Nikola

optimistique said:


> In Dutch we say among others:
> 
> *wachten* *tot Sint-Juttemis* (wait for Saint Juttemis' day, which of course doesn't exist).


Portuguese; O dia de são nunca=Saint never day


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## danielfranco

AND, in Mexican Spanish:

"Ya veremos, dijo el ciego..." ("We'll see, said the blind man...)

I know, I know, it's not politically correct, but that's what we use to say back then, alright?
Already.


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## eastlife

In Chinese:

太阳从西边出来了. (Sun rises from the west.)


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## danielfranco

Now, here's another one with religious overtones, but with a different focus:
"Haces que la Virgen te habla, pero ni te parpadea..." ("You pretend the Virgin is calling out to you, but she doesn't even blink in your direction..." )


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## Jana337

. said:


> My wife tells me that a common such Czec*h* saying is similar to, "I'll wear The Pope's hat before that happens!"
> .,,


I have never heard it like that. We have "yes, and I am a pope" as a reaction to an absurd assertion.

Another I recalled right now:
You can say this to your grandmother (implied: but not to me!).

Jana


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## anthodocheio

Nikola said:


> Portuguese; O dia de são nunca=Saint never day


 
We say the same in Greece "του Αγίου Ποτέ" and also 
Τον μήνα που δεν θα 'χει Σάββατο = At the month that will not have Saturday, and also 
Στις 32 του μηνός = On the day 32 of the month.

We also say "Does the donkey fly? Yes, it flies!" (similar to the pig)

and about that blind man I remember a song I learned once:
A blind was looking for a needle inside a hayloft, and a deaf was telling him "I heart it banging". 
Our cock layed down 40 squashes... 
(I don't remember the rest)


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## optimistique

Jana337 said:


> Another I recalled right now:
> You can say this to your grandmother (implied: but not to me!).



We say: *Maak dat de kat wijs! *(Fool the cat about that -> but not me)
or: *Vertel dat de ganzen! *(Tell the geese that)


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

danielfranco said:


> AND, in Mexican Spanish:
> "Ya veremos, dijo el ciego..." ("We'll see, said the blind man...)
> I know, I know, it's not politically correct, but that's what we use to say back then, alright?
> Already.


Well, we have the same expression down here.  Which I've always hated, of course, since a very dear family member is blind and, trust me, he doesn't find it funny...

Now, back into the topic, we have also these:
- En el año de la pera => In the pear's year (which doesn't exist, of course)
- El 30 de febrero => On February 30th (it's funny that several languages share the same expression!)
- Cuando a los cochinos/puercos les salgan alas => When pigs grow wings (similar to "when pigs/cows can fly", evidently)

And getting a bit off-topic, when something absolutely incredible and outrageous happens to somebody (especially bad things), we say:
- Esto sólo te pasa a ti y a el Coyote/Goofy/el Pato Lucas/el Pato Donald => This can only happen to you or to the Coyote/Goofy/Daffy Duck/Donald Duck.  (If you are familiar with these cartoon characters, then you know they are always going through unbelievably terrible and absurdly painful things...)


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## MingRaymond

In Cantonese,

We say 豬乸會上樹 which means female pig can climb the tree. This originally comes from a rhyme sentence. 男人靠得住，豬乸會上樹。(If men are reliable, female pig can climb the tree.)

Ming


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## Jeedade

Jana337 said:


> You can say this to your grandmother (implied: but not to me!).


You can say the same in Dutch: "maak dat je grootmoeder wijs!"


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## sound shift

Once upon a time, in the city of Verona, there were two football clubs: Hellas Verona, which was then in the top division (Serie A) of the Italian league, and Chievo Verona, which was in Serie B.

The supporters of Hellas asserted:
_*"Quando gli asini riusciranno a volare faremo un derby in Serie A."
*"Donkeys will fly before we see a Verona derby in Serie A."

_Rash words! Chievo were promoted and the derby took place. Shortly after that Hellas were relegated. There has been a picture of a flying donkey on the Chievo shirt ever since!


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## .   1

Jana337 said:


> You can say this to your grandmother (implied: but not to me!).


You're not talking to your mates down at the pub now!


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## parakseno

Romanian has quite many idioms with this meaning... right now I can think of:
(I'm giving the literal translation too)
"când va zbura porcul" - when the pig will fly
"la Sfântul Aşteaptă" - at Saint Keep-on-waiting (day)
"la Paştele cailor" - at the Easter of the horses
"când oi fi eu popă" - when I'll be a priest (doesn't work well for someone who is a priest though )
"când a face plopul pere şi răchita micşunele" - (this one rhymes a bit) when the poplar will grow pears and the furze gillyflowers


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## .   1

I find it fascinating that the priest one appears to be cross cultural.


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## Victoria32

ayed said:


> Welcome to the Arabic forum:
> 
> Of course, we have.For exampe, in colloquial Badawi dialect:
> 
> _1.When cows go to Hajj(pilgrimage) on their horns(idha Hajj al-baqar ala quroonih._It holds the same meaning of "When pigs fly".


Oh that's precious! 


danielfranco said:


> AND, in Mexican Spanish:
> 
> "Ya veremos, dijo el ciego..." ("We'll see, said the blind man...)
> 
> I know, I know, it's not politically correct, but that's what we use to say back then, alright?
> Already.


My mother used to say that, so I assume it's known in Scotland.. 

VL


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## Arrius

In London Cockney in my youth they  used to say, "Tell that to a donkey and (h)e'll kick yer (i.e.your) (h)ead in."  The Americans say, or at least used to say, "Tell that to the marines", though why the marines should be considered daft (dumb) enough to believe a palpable untruth, I have no idea.


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## betulina

One that I can think of in Catalan is "*la setmana dels tres dijous*" (the week of the three Thursdays -meaning "that's going to happen then"). Why "three" and why "Thursday" I don't know...


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## elpoderoso

Does anyone know why the expressions which feature february 30 and st x (x being a non existant saint) occurr? Is there a particular unbelievable event which occurred on february 30?


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## Joannes

I think you're confused. I don't think _any_ event ever occurred on the 30th of February because that day doesn't exist.


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## elpoderoso

Joannes said:


> I think you're confused. I don't think _any_ event ever occurred on the 30th of February because that day doesn't exist.


Yes. thanks obviously i wasn't fully awake when i wrote that


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## mimi2

How do Vietnamese people say:
"Khi cục đất biết nói" = "when earth knows how to speak"


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## .   1

Arrius said:


> In London Cockney in my youth they used to say, "Tell that to a donkey and (h)e'll kick yer (i.e.your) (h)ead in." The Americans say, or at least used to say, "Tell that to the marines", though why the marines should be considered daft (dumb) enough to believe a palpable untruth, I have no idea.


I suspect that you are slightly off key on your interpretation of the Marine idiom.
'Go tell it to the Marines' is an insult to the intelligence but not that of the Marines.
In this case I believe that the Marines are being used because of their legendary fighting capabilities and refusal to back down and their propensity to violence when insulted.
Go tell your pathetic lie to Mike Tyson (sociopathic former World Heavy Weight Boxing Champion) is closer to the intended insult.


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## Lillita

Here are some *in Hungarian*:

_Majd ha piros hó esik._ ~ When it snows red snowfleaks.
_Majd ha cigánygyerekek potyognak az égből._ ~ When gipsy children are falling from the sky.
_Majd ha a pokol befagy._ ~ When Hell freezes.
_Holnapután kiskedden, borjúnyúzó pénteken._ ~ The day after tomorrow, on little Tuesday, on Friday when cattle are skinned. = NEVER

And another one but it needs a bit of context:
_Előbb befonom a hajam._ ~ Let me braid my hair first.

- _Megtennéd ezt nekem?_ (Would you do that for me?)
- _Ó, persze, csak előbb befonom a hajam._ (Ah, sure, but let me braid my hair first. ~ meaning that I will never ever do that for you.)


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## mylasalle

The only relevant idiom I can think of in Tagalog is

"Pag puti ng uwak" which translates to "When the crow turns white."

Quite a depressing thought when I remember hearing it last in a conversation with a friend who made that exact reply when I asked him if the Philippines will ever be a developed country.


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## suslik

In Estonia we say "Ema sul teeb" if somebody wants you to do smth impossible or crazy what you defenitely don't want to do..
In translation it would be smth like "You'r mother will do it"
Example: if somebody want's you to go somewhere where you don't want to go, then you can answer: "Ema sul läheb" . In translation it would be "Your mother will go" I know it sounds li'l mean about somebody's mother but it doesn't sound so bad in estonian language.


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## Victoria32

This morning, I just remembered that my father had one... he used many idioms to express extreme unlikelihood (as did my mother) or impossibility. 

My mother's was "on a sunny wet Tuesday" and I have lost count of how many of those we have had since she died! 

My father's was "When Donley (Donnelly?) docks". I assume Donley was the Master of a ship - a 'flying Dutchman' character maybe? Why analyse it, it just meant "no, you can't go to the circus', as we knew....

Vicky


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## Antaria

In Poland e.g. we say:

Prędzej mi tu (lub: na ręce) kaktus wyrośnie. - Rather a cactus will grow up here (or: on my hand/palm)

Na Świętego Nigdy. -  On a day of Saint Never

If call up to mind some more idioms I will add them 

Agnieszka


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## doman

Oh, this kind of idioms we have a lot...

Bao giờ trạch đẻ ngọn cây...
When the bund borned on top of tree...

Chờ đến Tết Công-gô.
Waiting to Congo's Tết...Tết is Vietnamese Lunar New Year, but why Congo, , maybe , the cause's in Congo they don't use lunar calendar. 

Bao giờ cạn nước biển Đông...
When China sea gets dry.

and more...


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## .   1

The Hell you will!
When Hell freezes over!
You haven't got a snowflake's hope in Hell!
Hell will open it's gates for Saints before that happens!


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## Nanon

Some French variants

quand les poules auront des dents (when hens have teeth)
à la Saint-Glinglin (Glinglin sounds funny and... does not exist)
[c'est ça, et moi] je suis le pape (I'm the Pope) / je suis la reine d'Angleterre (the Queen of England) / je me fais moine [bonne soeur] (I become a monk [nun])
autant vouloir tondre un oeuf (it's like wanting to shave an egg)
chercher une aiguille dans une botte de foin (to look for a needle in a haystack)
dans tes rêves (in your dreams) _--> recent_
I will try to come up with some other ideas but, as they say, "impossible n'est pas français"


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## Whodunit

There are numerous expressions for absolute impossibility in German. I can think of these at the moment:

*Ach, das kannst du vergessen!* - _Oh, you can forget that!_
*Das kannst du dir in die Haare schmieren!* - _You can smear that on your hair!_
*Eher geht ein Kamel durch ein Nadelöhr, als dass ...* - _It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than ..._
*Nicht im Traum!* - _Not in a dream!_


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## Encolpius

Lillita said:


> ... _Majd ha a pokol befagy._ ~ When Hell freezes.



Have your heard that? I searched on mek.oszk and does not exist. 
I know: *Majd ha fagy.* [when-it-freezes]


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## itreius

Antaria said:


> Na Świętego Nigdy. - On a day of Saint Never


*Croatian*

Kad na vrbi rodi grožđe. [when - on - willow - grow - grapes; _when grapes grow on willows_]
Na Sveto Nigdarjevo. [on - saint - Never's; _on Saint Never's day_]
Malo morgen. [a bit - tomorrow]


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## Orlin

Bulgarian:
- на куково лято/ куков ден (on cuckoo's summer/day);
- когато си видиш ушите без огледало (when you see your ears without a mirror);
- когато цъфнат налъмите (when nalams (a kind of shoes) blossom);
- на 30 февруари (on February 30);
- когато пръдне гущерът (when the lizard farts - impolite)
and probably others.


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## sakvaka

*Finnish*: (at least) _lehmät lentävät_ — the cows will fly


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## DrWatson

sakvaka said:


> *Finnish*: (at least) _lehmät lentävät_ — the cows will fly


Also: _tulevana vuonna tuohikuussa_ — next year in the month of birch bark (based on the fact that the names of months in Finnish all end in the word _kuu_ "moon; month", but _tuohikuu_ doesn't exist)


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## rusita preciosa

Russian:
*когда **рак **на **горе **свистнет* /kogda rak na gore svistnet/ - when a crayfish whistles on a mountain
*ага**, a **я** – **балерина* /aha, a ya - balerina/ - aha, and I am a ballerina (workd best for a big burly man)
*ага**, a **я** - **Папа **Римский* /aha, a ya - papa rimskiy/ - aha, and I am the Pope


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## tangus

Common in Argentina are:

“El día del arquero” - On goalkeeper's day. (We have a children's day, a mother's day, a teacher's day, a secretary's day ... a day for everybody except goalkeepers.)

“Cuando las vacas vuelen” - When the cows will fly. (Just another thing we share with Finland, besides tango.) 

Saludos.


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## Arrius

DrWatson said:


> Also: _tulevana vuonna tuohikuussa_ — next year in the month of birch bark (based on the fact that the names of months in Finnish all end in the word _kuu_ "moon; month", but _tuohikuu_ doesn't exist)


 
In English we have *once in a blue moon,* which, however, means hardly ever rather than absolutely never. And we say _*if pigs had wings*_, not cows. Also the normal expression is _*until hell freezes over*_.


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## hui

sakvaka said:


> *Finnish*: (at least) _lehmät lentävät_ — the cows will fly



Example: _"Ihan varmasti, ja lehmät_ (= cows)_ lentää._" [= "Oh sure, and pigs can fly."]


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## catlady60

. said:


> The Hell you will!
> When Hell freezes over!
> You haven't got a snowflake's hope in Hell!
> Hell will open it's gates for Saints before that happens!



Also:
When hell freezes over *and the Devil goes ice skating!*
When God starts sinning!


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## Angelo di fuoco

Chazzwozzer said:


> They also say *"on the Greek calends" *in English, as far as I know.



Latin heritage: Calendae Graecae.


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## mataripis

Tagalog: _Nangangarap ng gising (saying words that are impossible to happen,particularly in lotto games)_


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## OneStroke

In standard Chinese, it's common to say 痴人說夢/痴人说梦 (chīrén shuō mèng), meaning 'mentally retarded person talking about dreams'. 癡心妄想 chī xīn wàng xiǎng (stupid heart, absurd thought) and 異想天開 yì xiǎng tiān kāi (strange thought, sky opens) are also used.


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## apmoy70

In Greek:

«Όταν παγώσει η κόλαση» /'otan pa'ɣosi i 'kolasi/
lit. "when hell freezes out"

«Στις τριανταδύο του μηνός» /stis trianda'ðio tu mi'nos/
lit. "on the thirty-second of the month"

There's also this proverb from the island of Andros in the Cyclades --> «Αδύνατό 'ναι να γενεί χοίρου μαλλί μετάξι» /a'ðina'to ne na ʝe'ni 'çiru ma'li me'taksi/ lit. "it's impossible to make from pig's wool, silk"


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## jakubisek

I'm Czech, but never heard the Pope's hat one!

Btw, we say   "Až naprší a uschne" = "After it rains and it dries"   - meaning "never"

I have never understood why we say so:  it's used in a sense as if it was never possible that rainfall dries out afterwards. Any Czech or Bohemist knows the motivation of this saying?


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