# Occupations, privacy, and rudeness



## tvdxer

Guides to etiquette and doing business in Italy often say that it is rude to ask what another's occupation is (and IIRC, where one lives).  Is this true?  How about in your country?  In the U.S., one's occupation and where they live (the city / town / neighborhood) is generally not considered private information or at least rude to ask about.


----------



## Miguelillo 87

Neither in México, it'll be rude if you ask, How much do you earn? 
But to know more about your next partner it's not impolite I'll say it's neccesary in México


----------



## ana lacerda

Neither in Italy. I have asked everybody and I have never been banned out of the country


----------



## tvdxer

Hmmm....well maybe it's just one of those outdated pointers etiquette books (might) tend to make. 

In the U.S., it would be very rude (as in Mexico) to ask how much one earns.  However, what one does for a living is generally not considered private information.


----------



## cuchuflete

IIRC?  That doesn't ring a bell.  Is it Italian for something?

Might it be chatboard slang?  If so, that is a rude usage in this forum.


----------



## Miguelillo 87

cuchuflete said:


> IIRC? That doesn't ring a bell. Is it Italian for something?


I wonder the same


----------



## tvdxer

It means "If I remember correctly", and is common on forums and newsgroups.  Sorry if you didn't understand it...it's an older abbreviation, not seen as much today as it was some time ago.


----------



## Etcetera

In Russia, it's rude to ask how much one earns, too. 
But it's absolutely normal to ask about one's place of residence and one's occupation. Unless it's a complete stranger - a person with whom you're chatting on a train, for example.


----------



## maxiogee

I can understand why someone might want to knowq where one lives, but why would anyone want to know how much one earns? What possible use would the information be to them?


----------



## Etcetera

I doubt if such information can be of any use, but it simply gratifies one's curiosity. 
Ont of the major inconveniences of living in Russia is that here there still are some people who just want to know _everything _about their neighbours. Such people are horrible. I always try to avoid them. 
Well, I actually remember my friend asking me how much I earn as a teacher of English, and she simply wanted to compare this with her own experience in Italy. I didn't find it rude, because I was talking about my new job at the time, so her question was in time.
But I hate strangers asking me questions. I don't understand why a person with whom I happen to travel in one and the same compartment might want to know where I live, why I am travelling this train, what's my education and occupation, and so on. 
I usually try to make such "interviewers" understand that I have other things to do beside talking with them, but if they insist... Well, I have a good imagination, and on such occasions I make use of it.


----------



## cuchuflete

tvdxer said:


> It means "If I remember correctly", and is common on forums and newsgroups.  Sorry if you didn't understand it...it's an older abbreviation, not seen as much today as it was some time ago.



Please take a moment to review the forum rules, available to all in the link at the upper left of every forum screen: Rules/FAQ.

"22. Except as a topic of discussion, chatspeak and SMS style are not acceptable. Members must do their best to write using standard language forms."

Rather than debating whether any particular abbreviation is appropriate, you should default to using standard language.


----------



## GenJen54

If I remember correctly, when I lived in France this subject came up.  At that time, I was told that it is generally considered rude to ask about one's occupation because people so easily connect "status" to occupation.

This question seems to be one of the typical "ice-breakers" or greeters in the U.S., especially among new acquaintances, and, quite honestly is often used by people as a means of determining social compatibility.


----------



## cuchuflete

Etcetera said:


> But I hate strangers asking me questions. I don't understand why a person with whom I happen to travel in one and the same compartment might want to know where I live, why I am travelling this train, what's my education and occupation, and so on.
> I usually try to make such "interviewers" understand that I have other things to do beside talking with them, but if they insist... Well, I have a good imagination, and on such occasions I make use of it.



I used to have to fly eight or ten times a month for work. 
It was almost inevitable that some character sitting next to me on a plane would ignore the fact that I was reading or writing, and start to pepper me with impertinent, personal questions.  When they insisted on telling me, with pride, how successful they were, and what they did for a living, I would brace myself for the question, "And what do you do?"  Although I have never studied medicine in any form, I found a useful way to stop the conversation.  I would reply, 'I'm a proctologist.'


----------



## maxiogee

GenJen54 said:


> This question seems to be one of the typical "ice-breakers" or greeters in the U.S., especially among new acquaintances, and, quite honestly is often used by people as a means of determining social compatibility.


 
Isn't is also assumptive of full employment?
Or if not, it would appear to be calculated to put the unemployed at a disadvantage. I can't imagine too many people in the Depression were going around asking "... and what do you do?"


----------



## Dr.Appalayya

In India, low educated people dont keep any private information nor do they expect others to keep it. They ask about monthly earnings and what the children are doing. But in educated circles, asking about other's income is offensive and rude. Professions are not a private information, hence it can be enquired without offending anybody.

In India, people indiscriminately invade into other's offices and home without asking permission. It is not offensive with middle and lower middle class people. But, with some of the middle and higher class people and bureaucrats, invasion is very very offensive.


----------



## Kajjo

In Germany it is no problem at all to ask about occupation, place of residence and similar aspects.

Kajjo


----------



## Miguelillo 87

I think that everybody as etcetera and cuchuflete hate when we're reading or when we are doing something else, to be interupted by other persons, who only want to pass his time, but I think that in long trips it's a good idea to do that 'cause you can know a person and talking time goes faster, I also think it depends on the person if he's nice and warm it'll be a pleasure to have a chat with him/her, but if he is so rude and prepotent, Yuck!!! Better to be a proctologist as cuchuflete


----------



## Lusitania

Well, in Portugal we never ask. I've never been asked directly. I never asked either.
If some foreigner would ask I would reply, if it was portuguese I would try to avoid the question. Don't find it very polite, if it's asked by someone that's not close to you.


----------



## janezhang88

It is very normal in China to ask those questions, but most people dont like personal questions, like age, salary. however,i am sure nobody would feel surprised or boring when they are questioned on internet conversation.


----------



## Etcetera

GenJen54 said:


> This question seems to be one of the typical "ice-breakers" or greeters in the U.S., especially among new acquaintances, and, quite honestly is often used by people as a means of determining social compatibility.


Pretty much the same in Russia. But the question of how much one earns is considered rather personal. It is said that people, when asked about their salary, often tell lesser sum than they do earn in fact. 



> Although I have never studied medicine in any form, I found a useful way to stop the conversation. I would reply, 'I'm a proctologist.'


Oh, what a nice reply, Mr. Cuchu!
I think next time I'll invent something of that kind.


----------



## Lusitania

maxiogee said:


> I can understand why someone might want to knowq where one lives, but why would anyone want to know how much one earns? What possible use would the information be to them?


 
Gossip?


----------



## Neever

Lusitania said:


> Well, in Portugal we never ask. I've never been asked directly. I never asked either.
> If some foreigner would ask I would reply, if it was portuguese I would try to avoid the question. Don't find it very polite, if it's asked by someone that's not close to you.


 
Do you mean about salary, Lusitania, or profession?

Neever


----------



## Lusitania

I mean about salary. Other questions such as: job, where you live, marital status, study, it's ok. But in general I don't think people here find polite to ask how much one earns.
Besides my boyfriend, nobody in my family knows how much I earn. When I got this job they just asked. "Does it pay good? are u happy with your salary?". Never how much.


----------



## John-Paul

If you go to a party a party in the US it's usually the first question people ask: What do you do? This country seems to be organized based on social-economical ranks. When I answered, nothing, I take care of my children, two out of three men, would turn around and start talking with somebody else, I kid you not. Not working is considered a crime in this country. So, after I had my first play produced I called myself a playwright, and voila, there it was, my own place on the ladder, close to the ground, but hey, who's complaining.


----------



## geve

GenJen54 said:


> If I remember correctly, when I lived in France this subject came up. At that time, I was told that it is generally considered rude to ask about one's occupation because people so easily connect "status" to occupation.


This is interesting. It's the second time I read a post mentioning that fact about France on this forum (first one was there), yet as I said then I really never thought of it as a problematic question... just a natural question to ask when meeting a new person, like others have said in this thread! But maybe I shouldn't?  Maybe other French natives have a different opinion?


----------



## KaRiNe_Fr

geve said:


> Maybe other French natives have a different opinion?


Same opinion here, Geve. Maybe I should ask my parents if this is a generation discrepancy?


----------



## Miguelillo 87

Lusitania said:


> Gossip?


 
I don't think it's gossip, I think it's just cuiosity or a break-ice phrase.
Gossiping if that person would know you.


----------

