# 回應稱讚/讚美的方法



## viajero_canjeado

你們好, 

我常常遇到這種情況, 一個中國人會讚美我的國語 (雖然程度也不太高) - 我經常會謝謝他, 或許說"喔, 您很友好耶".. 但我認為應該有別的比較得體的答案吧. 你們聽到別人給你的讚美的時候會怎麼反應呢? (當然不是讚美中文的能力..而是別的事)

感謝你們的建議.


----------



## YangMuye

正常的中國人是不會只說謝謝的，那代表他承認對方的稱讚。受到別人的稱讚，如果說謝謝，表示你認爲自己當之無愧，並對對方表示禮貌。一般不說謝謝，要說也要先推託一下，再接受。

一般，你可以說：
哪裏哪裏。（通常重複兩遍，下同。）
謬讚
過獎
不敢（當）
一般
……

反正抵死不可以承認的話都可以。


----------



## viajero_canjeado

哈哈, 我們的文化真的很不同喔! 對我來說如果人家一直在拒絕讚美, 會看起來賊眉鼠眼還是不誠實. 我就會記得您的建議, 交往跟中國人的時候; 您說的總是很相干很有幫助.


----------



## YangMuye

> 對我來說如果人家*一直*在拒絕讚美, 會看起來賊眉鼠眼還是不誠實.


也不是每次讚美都要拒絕。如果你拒絶了一次，他馬上又反對你的拒絶，堅持讚美你，那就不能拒絶了。

不接受別人的贊美，表示不如對方，叫“給對方面子”。
堅決不接受別人的贊美，表示不肯接納對方，叫“不給對方面子”。

贊美也好，送禮也好，都是相同的原則。關係越親密的，越不用推卻但可以拒絕。關係不親密的，一定要推卻，但不能真拒絕。推到什麽程度也看具體情況。
挺麻煩的，我也經常搞不清楚。過年有父母朋友送紅包，我總是先看一下父母的眼色。
但自己的朋友，我就知道收不收。

我估計，這個恐怕是學不來的。


----------



## Jerry Chan

也不是只有接受與拒絕的。
例如人家讚美你漢語說得好，你可以回應說「都是x老師教導有方」；讚美你家佈置得美輪美奐，你可以回答「都是太太的功榮」。
這樣既接受了對方的讚美，也可以乘機拍個善意的馬屁，讓老師或太太高興一下。
這種生活智慧，中西方也是大同小異的。


----------



## YangMuye

Jerry Chan said:


> 也不是只有接受與拒絕的。
> 例如人家讚美你漢語說得好，你可以回應說「都是x老師教導有方」；讚美你家佈置得美輪美奐，你可以回答「都是太太的功榮」。
> *這樣既接受了對方的讚美，也可以乘機拍個善意的馬屁，讓老師或太太高興一下。*
> 這種生活智慧，中西方也是大同小異的。


----------



## bighead+

对于别人的称赞，中国人相对西方人是要谦虚一些，这确实是文化的不同。受西方文化影响，现在一般人也接受西式的回应方法。对于你这种情况(别人说你中文好)，你完全可以这么回应: 谢谢，还需要继续努力啊。我现在比较倾向于这样回复，否则确实感觉有些不真诚。如何回复别人的称赞是有些复杂，中国人讲究长幼尊卑，如果一个长者或你的上级称赞你，一般你要用中式的方法谦虚一下，如果是差不多年纪或者平级的可以用西式的方法接受并适当谦虚一下，如果是下级或者小辈，特别是下级，可能几句不花钱的马屁话还不行啊......


----------



## BODYholic

viajero_canjeado said:


> 哈哈, 我們的文化真的很不同喔! 對我來說如果人家一直在拒絕讚美, 會看起來賊眉鼠眼還是不誠實. 我就(?)會記得您的建議, _交往跟中國人的時候_; 您說的總是很相干很有幫助.



Sorry but I can't help but to correct this mistake which is quite glaring. 
It should be "跟中國人交往的時候". This part of the sentence should also preferably be rephrased but it will be out of topic here. In any case, those are really minor problems.

Your Chinese language skill is commendable. Keep it up.


----------



## Xieguodong

入乡随俗。
你如果你谦虚地回一句"一般般啦！“我们会更惊讶你出色的中文。


----------



## Chinoise

viajero_canjeado said:


> 你們好,
> 
> 我常常遇到這種情況, 一個中國人會讚美我的國語 (雖然程度也不太高) - 我經常會謝謝他, 或許說"喔, 您很友好耶".. 但我認為應該有別的比較得體的答案吧. 你們聽到別人給你的讚美的時候會怎麼反應呢? (當然不是讚美中文的能力..而是別的事)
> 
> 感謝你們的建議.


 
"​喔, 您很友好耶" has an obvious foreign brokenness to it.  
 
​
When people's complementing you, you could reply by saying “哪裡 / 過獎 / 不敢當”or just “哪裡﹐您太過獎了”, meaning, "Not really, you are over-complementing me. (in a good way)"


----------



## woodrowchina

Xieguodong said:


> 我也借此机会请教一下，那中国大部分地区是怎么说的？


 Actually "一般般啦" is also a popular answer in the other areas,at least in Southern China,I'm not in Guangdong province.
and if your phrase "我也借此机会请教一下" modify to “我再借此机会请教一下”would be better.
by the way,Your Chinese is awesome.


----------



## bighead+

woodrowchina said:


> Actually "一般般啦" is also a popular answer in the other areas,at least in Southern China,I'm not in Guangdong province.
> and if your phrase "我也借此机会请教一下" modify to “我再借此机会请教一下”would be better.
> by the way,Your Chinese is awesome.



Mr. Xie is not the original poster and he is Chinese. I believe Taiwanese also say "一般般啦", and probably people in Guangxi & Yunnan? I'm not saying there's anything wrong to say "一般般啦" but it's not standard mandarin and is rarely used in Northern China and Jiangsu/Zhejiang/Shanghai.


----------



## Chinoise

bighead+ said:


> Mr. Xie is not the original poster and he is Chinese. I believe Taiwanese also say "一般般啦", and probably people in Guangxi & Yunnan? I'm not saying there's anything wrong to say "一般般啦" but it's not standard mandarin and is rarely used in Northern China and Jiangsu/Zhejiang/Shanghai.


 
I don't think Taiwanese use "一般般啦" in response to compliments.  I believe that's strictly Cantonese?


----------



## humvee

Enough is enough, here is my last word for this discussion.
First thing first. I summariz thusly:
When people say to you: you are a born violinist.
哪里=where=in which place,
Doesn't make sense, right? But you can make sense of it this way
Where=(I don't know)where (I am)=I'm lost because you give me A plus rather than C minus I deserve!(you displace me so I'm lost, dunno WHERE I am!)
不敢当=dare not be, make sense,huh?
一般般=just so so.
In my humble opinion, just so so is obviously not a proper phrase to reply to the question because that will frustrate that person. Put more precisely
A: You are a born violinist!
B: Just so so! (You shouldn't misplace me to A plus slot because I deserve a C minus!), eembarrasing, right?
徐国栋 is right about the point, when in China, do as Chinese does because the Great Wall was not built in a day.


----------



## humvee

Viajero, can't help but add one point. First off we single out "Where" as, say, the most authentic way to reply to a compliment. I summariz it in the following bullet points.

To repeat my dialog
American: You are a born violinist!=你天生是拉小提琴的料！
Chinese(speak Chinglish): Where!=哪里！

To an American ear, three problems arise
1. Why where? So weird
2. Where is a question word, why it is uttered as an exlamation?

So far so good, let's address the first question. You need a metaphorical leap of faith! That I already explained, a from-awesome-to-good-to-bad-to-worse-to-worst scalability continuum metaphor. That niche/pigeonhole/slot metaphor.

Suppose that Chinese is a C-minus violinist, and that America just tried to be friendly by putting this C-minus violinist in A-plus "slot". Then, metaphorically, the violinist is in a displaced slot he shouldn't have been. Right? A pilot not in a plane is lost, right? Hence, I'm lost when you displace me. That is why, people also say "你这么赞美我，我都不知道天南地北了(not know where I am)"

Here's the trickier part, but you can grasp it real quick, why "!"
Because the Wh question word here is not a question but a rhetorical question(emphasis added).  

I'm not patronizing anybody, but for those who don't know what a rhetorical question is, here is an example:

A: Frenchmen are frogs, Chinese can fly, Americans are monolingual
B: Are you a racist or what?

Obviously, B is not expecting an YES or No answer from A because B is 90% sure that A is a racist (even though B may be wrong but that doesn't matter here) and vent his anger.


----------



## YangMuye

humvee said:


> 哪里=where=in which place,
> Doesn't make sense, right? But you can make sense of it this way
> Where=(I don't know)where (I am)=I'm lost because you give me A plus rather than C minus I deserve!(you displace me so I'm lost, dunno WHERE I am!)


哪裡 = where does the conclusion come from? How can you get this conclusion (from my behavior)?
It's often used in negative sentences.


----------



## humvee

YangMuye said:


> 哪裡 = where does the conclusion come from? How can you get this conclusion (from my behavior)?
> It's often used in negative sentences.


 
From introspection, of course, the all-or-nothing, yes or no approach rarely catches the reality. I just did the discourse analysis.


----------



## Yoly *

哪里哪里 is just fine.


----------



## kareno999

YangMuye said:


> 正常的中國人是不會只說謝謝的，那代表他承認對方的稱讚。受到別人的稱讚，如果說謝謝，表示你認爲自己當之無愧，並對對方表示禮貌。一般不說
> 謝謝，要說也要先推託一下，再接受。
> 
> 一般，你可以說：
> 哪裏哪裏。（通常重複兩遍，下同。）
> 謬讚
> 過獎
> 不敢（當）
> 一般
> ……
> 
> 反正抵死不可以承認的話都可以。



I rarely hear people saying "過獎" "不敢" etc
Mostly people (including me) just say "xiexie"...
another impact of western culture


----------



## yuechu

Thank you all for this excellent discussion on compliments! It definitely cleared up some misconceptions in my mind (which I seem to have had from the first day I started learning Chinese.. a bit of black and white thinking, I suppose). I used to think that the 文化差别 was very big (since people had originally told me that you can never accept a compliment (which I took as a rule), always have to appear modest, etc) but I have realized that it is (in my opinion) not too different from how things are in the West. (one just needs a bit of modesty and that's all... ha, at least I have come to think that people in the West are often just as modest as Chinese people, but just in different ways)

I think YangMuye is absolutely right about not refusing too much... I have refused too much on many occasions in the past (mistakenly thinking that I was being more "Chinese"/polite), but it isn't good to refuse too many times. It can definitely have the opposite effect (whether intended or not) of looking false or perhaps of not giving 面子.


----------



## SuperXW

Jerry Chan said:


> 也不是只有接受與拒絕的。
> 例如人家讚美你漢語說得好，你可以回應說「都是x老師教導有方」；讚美你家佈置得美輪美奐，你可以回答「都是太太的功榮」。
> 這樣既接受了對方的讚美，也可以乘機拍個善意的馬屁，讓老師或太太高興一下。
> 這種生活智慧，中西方也是大同小異的。


非常实用的智慧……  
不过，忍不住想指出，据我所知标准中文是没有“功荣”这个词的，广东话也没听过，是不是“功劳”打错字……？


----------



## Youngfun

Maybe 功劳＋荣誉？


----------



## ash341986

以前回應「哪裡/沒有啦/過獎，我沒那麼厲害」的時候，人家常常都會繼續恭維（「真的啦，......」），然後等到詞窮了，我就覺得自己的回答愈來愈做作，可是明明就不是我一個人的功勞，卻又聽起來好像我刻意不居功，所以現在我反而比較習慣直接回答謝謝，然後馬上歸功於別人。不過，講「不敢」、「過獎」然後立刻歸功給別人，應該是也是很好的回應方式。


----------



## renovar22

你太客氣了 or 你過獎了~


----------

