# Addressing a female friend



## JazzByChas

_(If this needs to be in the English only forum, that is fine)_

I am curious to know what words men use address thier close female friends.

Women often have "girlfriends" and may (to E-J's chagrin) call each other (or anyone) "sweetie", "honey", "baby" or words of similar ilk.

Now, _*men*_ don't (at least in the USA) have "boyfriends" unless they are gay, but have "buddys" or "mates" or "pals." So what do they (or you) call your close women friends? (Other than their first name?)

(Females can answer on behalf of the men in thier lives as well)


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## luis masci

Here, in my country you may hear among couples: 
Amor-primor- bichita/o- tesoro –querida/o.
It's so general, of course as you know it's pretty personal, so there are a lot. It's so common also to hear 'gorda-flaca-petiza' all it said in lovely way, of course. 

For men to other men you may hear: cumpa(for compañero) – compadre –vago (this last among young people)


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## swift_precision

The problem with this question Jazz is....lol I don't know many men who do indeed have close women friends.  Let me modify my response: I don't know of many men under the age of 35 who have close women friends as you describe.  Someone once said that men don't really have "girl friends" that is, women with whom there exist only a platonic relationship.  they say that men with these so called "girl friends" are just waiting for an opportunity to...ya tu sabes Jazz,  but fortunately I think there are respectful, dignified, and honest men (who are not gay) who do have these so called women friends.  So to answer your question, I wouldn't know what to call them, cuz I don't really have any of the aforementioned; my friends are all guys.  If I did have one though, I think I'd just call her..umm "friend."  lol


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## fenixpollo

I am a man with as many or more female friends as male friends.  Luckily, I fall into swift's "under 35" age bracket, so he might consider me young enough to matter.  

I don't address my male friends with the words you listed, Chaz -- "What's up, dude!" or "Hey, buddy!"  (I especially despise that one).  I address them by name.  Likewise with my female friends.   I don't use artificial titles (chick, mate, _girlfriend_, homey) with any of my friends... just their names.


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## cuchuflete

I address all of my friends by name.  I reserve the affectionate diminutives for relationships that include both friendship and an additional dimension, and thus are beyond the topic of this thread.

In short, 'ditto' to Fenixpollo's reply.


Chas...your opening remark makes me ask myself if you are only interested in English speaking customs...please clarify.


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## VenusEnvy

Some of my male friends have addressed me by:
"Hey, girl!"
"Hey, cutie!"
"What's up, sexy!"

The guys who address the girls like this are usually 18-25. Guys that are above this age usually just use my name, as the others have mentioned.


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## ampurdan

Yo también llamo a mis amigos y amigas por el nombre y creo que la inmensa mayoría hace igual.


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## diegodbs

In Spain we always address our friends (boys or girls) by their names.


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## belén

diegodbs said:
			
		

> In Spain we always address our friends (boys or girls) by their names.



Well, sometimes my male friends call me "cariño" "guapa" "cielo" and this is just a term of endearment, nothing sexual involved.
Or they play with my name "belencita" "bebe" "belenix" "belenius"


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## fenixpollo

Now that you mention it, belén, I realize that I tend to be more playful in this way with my Spanish-speaking female friends, with words like "reina" and "linda" and the ones you mentioned... though often in an ironic way.  I think it's also easier to modify names in the way you mentioned in Spanish than it is in English.


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## ampurdan

Belén said:
			
		

> Or they play with my name "belencita" "bebe" "belenix" "belenius"


 
I stand corrected. I do it as well.


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## Like an Angel

If we are talking about *close friends* (not love involved, well I meant no lovers, do you understand me?) when I address them (it doesn't matter if they are men or women) I say:

¡Hola locura!
¡Hola loco/a!
¿Que hacés XXXXX? and those Xs mean to be my surname, and means they are that crazy that seems to be one of mines.
¡Hola bebé! (just for men)
¡Hola nena/e!
¡Hola negri/a/o!
among others

Or I play with their names as belen said


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## JazzByChas

I was just wondering if this was an English Language issue, or a cultural issue...in fact, I believe it is very much a cultural issue, as the practice may vary from country to country.

{EDIT: Although the consensus seems to be that opposite genders address primarily by name..
But I will say, that depending upon the degree of familiarity, I usually start to play with their (females or males) names. Sometimes, just to turn around the norm, I will address someone by their formal name, e.g. "Michael" instead of "Mike"
}


Hope that helps!
_[I see you smiling, Mei!]_



			
				cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Chas...your opening remark makes me ask myself if you are only interested in English speaking customs...please clarify.


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## cuchuflete

Güeno Chasito, todo bien


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## Rich696

It really depends on the character of the person who is doing the addressing and, indeed, the character of the person one is addressing (shy, conservative, outgoing, wild-party-girl, &c).  And, of course, on the situation - usually whether one is being ironic or not.  As a 20 yr old male, I often use darlin', which is pretty pervasive, I've found.  As a northerner, I also find myself using "lass" or "love" all the time.  "Love" is particularly pervasive in the north of England, where it is literally used all the time - even more than Americans use "honey"!  When being ironic or consoling with closer female friends: baby, sweetie, sweetheart, beautiful, sugar.
E.g. Female: I'm missing my mum.  Male: Oh, baby/sweetheart, &c...

As a sidenote, I sometimes hear girls/women calling their boy friends "mate", which I think sounds horrible.  I for one would much rather be called by an affectionate term than as "mate" or "buddy" or "pal".


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## fenixpollo

Rich696 said:
			
		

> - even more than Americans use "honey"!


 Do Americans really say "honey" a lot?


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## GenJen54

> Do Americans really say "honey" a lot?


 
Of course, honey. Haven't you noticed that before, dear? 

If I could add another female perepective. Before I got married, I noticed my husband would call female friends "sweetie," a lot. I guess either consciously or unconsciously this practice stopped not long after we got engaged. 

A few friends of mine might call me some cute version of my own name, and/or ninita or some other non-English "endearment,"   but as in Be's case, it is only among someone with whom you rather share that type of connection.  Not all of my male friends would be able to get away with it! 

I also agree with Rich, however, in that much depends upon the person who is the intended recipient of the endearment, and what they deem appropriate and okay for them. 

I know in certain parts of the US it is more common.

I happen to "hon," my female friends more than I do any male friends of mine.


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## Everness

Like an Angel said:
			
		

> If we are talking about *close friends* (not love involved, well I meant no lovers, do you understand me?) when I address them (it doesn't matter if they are men or women) I say:
> 
> ¡Hola locura!
> ¡Hola loco/a!
> ¿Que hacés XXXXX? and those Xs mean to be my surname, and means they are that crazy that seems to be one of mines.
> ¡Hola bebé! (just for men)
> ¡Hola nena/e!
> ¡Hola negri/a/o!
> among others
> 
> Or I play with their names as belen said



You forgot, "¿Qué hacés boludo?" or "¿Qué hacés chanta?" Am I wrong?


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## swift_precision

fenixpollo said:
			
		

> Do Americans really say "honey" a lot?


 
lol not that I'm aware of. Sometimes older women call me "hon" though-- makes me feel like a little kid kinda eventhough Im bigger than they are. lol I dunno now that I think about it if I had more female friends I would just call them by their first name.


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## jinti

One close male friend of mine often calls me by my last name, which is not commonly done with women in the US.  Oddly enough, I seem to answer to it....

Another just uses a shortened version of my first name.

The only other name male friends ever use for me besides my given name is... well... in my predominantly male office, apparently lacking anything better to do with our time, we all came up with superhero names for each other (and superpowers to go with them).  I'm occasionally referred to as "Sarcasma".


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## irisheyes0583

jinti said:
			
		

> One close male friend of mine often calls me by my last name, which is not commonly done with women in the US.  Oddly enough, I seem to answer to it....


 Yes, I have some guy friends that do this to me, too, but _only_ the ones with whom I have a strong brother-sister kind of relationship. There is clearly *no* sexual attraction. These are also the guys that call me "E", which is my first initial. (i.e. Hey E, what's up?)

Other guy friends call me various pet names, all of which I love. It obviously depends on our relationship, but I respond to "babe" (this is very common), hun/hon (short for "honey"), "hot stuff", and any other number of generic names. With close guy friends, my nickname often refers to my more female parts (and sorry if this offends), such as "T & A" or "knockers" (yes, they actually say "Hey, T&A"... but it's very affectionate!). Depending on whether they're in the mood to tease me, I may also be called "bitch". 

In Spanish, which I have always found to be sweeter than English, I respond to any and all of the following: mi amor, bichita de luz, preciosa, preciosita, beba, bebita, bebitica, amor mío, etc. Of course, these could all be also said by a boyfriend, and they depend on context and on the person. For example, one friend may affectionately & platonically call me "mami" while another would only say that to me if we were, well, "more" than friends...


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## JazzByChas

Rich696 said:
			
		

> "Love" is particularly pervasive in the north of England, where it is literally used all the time - even more than Americans use "honey"!


 
Having once lived in England, I do remember this custom. A lot of people, men and women, would use that as an affectionate term. Here in the US, I might occaisionally hear something like, "Be a love, and..."
And you are right: the most common term of endearment I hear in the US in "honey." Now, I will admit that since I have grown older to the point where young people in their 20's are literally my (older) children's age, I might address young females as "honey" , "sweetie", or less often, "baby" as a father would talk to his own daughter. My wife calls everyone "honey", "sweetie", or "baby"...friends, acquaintances, business acquaintances, even her mother! But I think she is just a very maternal person. 

If I am talking to young(er) guys, I usually say, "dude" ,or "man", or, if to some streetwise young Afro-American male, I might use an AAVE term, e.g. "Whaddup, young?"



			
				Rich696 said:
			
		

> As a sidenote, I sometimes hear girls/women calling their boy friends "mate", which I think sounds horrible. I for one would much rather be called by an affectionate term than as "mate" or "buddy" or "pal".


I would have to agree here. I don't even like to called "Chuck" (my first name) by my wife...it seems a bit un-affectionate to hear that from someone that close to you. In fact, I only use my wife's first name if I am trying to get her attention (i.e. she didn't hear me the first time! ) I guess, if I feel that close to someone, I like terms of endearment better. Even closer women friends of mine and my wife's I will call them an affectionate version of their name, or perhaps, if we are really close, "sweetie", etc...
Just my personal preference, I guess..


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## Ratona

Not many men call me by nicknames, depending on who they are it's just my first name they use. I can only think of two males that have nicknames for me at the moment - my boss, who calls me Ratty (which is taken from my surname) and a very close (gay) friend who calls me Wifey (his parents thought we should become a couple ).

Oh, I used to get called Shorty too. (No I haven't grown anymore)


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## Rich696

> Do Americans really say "honey" a lot?





			
				swift_precision said:
			
		

> lol not that I'm aware of. Sometimes older women call me "hon" though-- makes me feel like a little kid kinda eventhough Im bigger than they are. lol I dunno now that I think about it if I had more female friends I would just call them by their first name.



I can't believe you don't hear it?  Just listen in any film or TV programme, or even any episode of The Simpsons (Marge).  In fact, being American, I suppose you could just listen out in real life!  I guess I don't really "hear" _love_ or _darling_, unless I actually listen out for them.  It seems they have become so common that they have lost any endearment they are supposed to have.


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## swift_precision

Rich696 said:
			
		

> I can't believe you don't hear it? Just listen in any film or TV programme, or even any episode of The Simpsons (Marge). In fact, being American, I suppose you could just listen out in real life! I guess I don't really "hear" _love_ or _darling_, unless I actually listen out for them. It seems they have become so common that they have lost any endearment they are supposed to have.


 
Right, I would say that it is used more between couples but not as generally accepted term of endearment. I would never hear, for example, a guy my age calling another girl "a honey come ova here real quick"..LOL yea right. I hear this word used more often by older women directed towards younger men or by younger men maybe towards their girlfriend but NOT directed towards a girl with whom their exist a mutal platonic relationship, unless they're close. You gave the example of Marge from the Simpsons, well as far as I can tell Marge is not a 24 year old woman but I guess a middle aged one? (hard to tell since her hair is in a biiiig blue cone and her skin remains in flawless condition). I don't think I ever heard Bart or Lisa using those terms towards each other or their peers. And as you already know, movies do not sometimes accurately depict what main stream culture is all about.


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## Rich696

swift_precision said:
			
		

> Right, I would say that it is used more between couples but not as generally accepted term of endearment. I would never hear, for example, a guy my age calling another girl "a honey come ova here real quick"..LOL yea right. I hear this word used more often by older women directed towards younger men or by younger men maybe towards their girlfriend but NOT directed towards a girl with whom their exist a mutal platonic relationship, unless they're close. You gave the example of Marge from the Simpsons, well as far as I can tell Marge is not a 24 year old woman but I guess a middle aged one? (hard to tell since her hair is in a biiiig blue cone and her skin remains in flawless condition). I don't think I ever heard Bart or Lisa using those terms towards each other or their peers. And as you already know, movies do not sometimes accurately depict what main stream culture is all about.



Fair enough.  But I have heard it in countless "real life" situations.  A good example (and only cause I was watching it last night):  Axl Rose, lead singer of GNR, said as a young girl invaded the stage: "Careful, honey, or you're out of the show".  This is the sense I was actually referring to.  Not as "a honey" like "a guy", but just "honey".  I have young American friends, male and female - from such diverse locations as New England, Washington DC, South Dakota, and Washington State - who use the word all the time: "I don't think so, honey", "what's the time, honey", "I'll see you later, honey", etc, etc.  Never used between males, but often used between females and always used across sexes.  It just substitutes for a name most of the time and carries no deeper tone.


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## swift_precision

Rich696 said:
			
		

> Fair enough. But I have heard it in countless "real life" situations. A good example (and only cause I was watching it last night): Axl Rose, lead singer of GNR, said as a young girl invaded the stage: "Careful, honey, or you're out of the show". This is the sense I was actually referring to. Not as "a honey" like "a guy", but just "honey". I have young American friends, male and female - from such diverse locations as New England, Washington DC, South Dakota, and Washington State - who use the word all the time: "I don't think so, honey", "what's the time, honey", "I'll see you later, honey", etc, etc. Never used between males, but often used between females and always used across sexes. It just substitutes for a name most of the time and carries no deeper tone.


 
I suppose it depends on who the person in question.  Like I said, there are many people who do not use that word and I myself can not imagine using that word in that manner unless I was talking to a girlfriend/wife or something of that nature.


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## JazzByChas

I myself, especially since I have gotten older, and more "fatherly" may call women "honey", "sweetie", etc. Especially when I am talking to younger females. 

Of course, I would never use this on males. The are "buddy", or just "man" or something like that...


			
				swift_precision said:
			
		

> I suppose it depends on who the person in question. Like I said, there are many people who do not use that word and I myself can not imagine using that word in that manner unless I was talking to a girlfriend/wife or something of that nature.


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## Mei

Hi there,

My friends adress to me saying: 

Ei Mei (they like how it sounds)
Ei Mei today (same as above)
Hola guapa
Ei pendó (not literally of course)
Ei 

When I say hello to them I call them by their name or their name modified as:

A boy called Jordi I call him Joris (sometimes Giorgio)
A girl called Lorena I call her Loris (for Loris Capirossi, jeje)
A friend called Pep I call him (Pepels)

So I have a Joris, Loris and Pepels  

Mei


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## blancalaw

Out of respect, I don't think there is a word a guy should say to a girl unless he liked her.  Here is a list of such words.
Honey, hon, darling, sweetie, sweetheart, sugar cube, hot babe, babe, my love, my angel, dear, or one of my least favorite - wife or woman.


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## nanel

My male friends call me by my name or: guapa, Raquelilla, Rachel, Barbie (the last one to bother me, of course).

Now that they have heard my husband calling me things like: beba (babe), nan and things like that, some of them are using also those ones.

I tend to use always names, except with my hub and my younger brother (I call him "nano", from "enano", which sound ridiculous now that he's way taller than I am).


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## Rich696

blancalaw said:
			
		

> Out of respect, I don't think there is a word a guy should say to a girl unless he liked her.  Here is a list of such words.
> Honey, hon, darling, sweetie, sweetheart, sugar cube, hot babe, babe, my love, my angel, dear, or one of my least favorite - wife or woman.



I know that in England, among young people, the words in the list (except wife) are all used between friends or sometimes just acquaintances.  I don't know many young women who would be offended by any of them, except perhaps hot babe.  Some would sound a little stupid or ironic though: my angel, sugar cube.


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## Laia

Mei said:
			
		

> Ei pendó (not literally of course)


 haha

My friends (male and female) adress to me saying:

- Ei nena (the most common)
- Ei tia
- Ei Laia
- Ei Laieta
- Ei Laiona
- Ei guapa
- Ei _carinyu_
- Ei boja (not literally of course  )
- Ei pendó D after a _noche de fiesta,_ of course)
- Ei perla
- Ei amoret

Also with insults (with a lovely tone, of course!):
- Ei capulla
- Ei capulleta
- Cabrona!
- Tontaaaa

Also with piropos (with a lovely tone, of course!):
- Tia bona! (that's the way we say hello everyday at university, between 5 or 6 good friends, we call each other _tia bona_)

And some others... a lot of others!

P.D.: Ah! And some people here call me _patufa_!  (My father calls me _patufa_ also sometimes).


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