# unable to make sense



## Maria^

Hi
I've tried translating this poem I found, but the words I got fail to make proper sense, I think.
Would appreciate if anyone could correct it
Incearca, fii mai bun, in caz ca pleci chiar tu sa aiba cine sa te intoarca.
Nu ezita sa indraznesti !
Sa fii umil, sa speri si orice ar fi gaseste puterea sa ierti.
Sa nu taci, sa nu uiti sa-i spui : Te iubesc tot mai mult si cu fiecare clipa care trece devin tot mai trist si mai rece.

Try, be better, in case you leave yourself who have you back.
Do not hesitate to dare!
Be humble, hoping and whatever find the strength to forgive.
Do not shut, do not forget to say: I love you more and more and with each passing moment become sadder and colder.


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## farscape

I'm not going to pretend that I like  it, but since I cannot get in the groove - I'm past the age when such a  poem would elicit a romantic response - I gave it a shot. Other may do better, I think.

Later,

Dare(Try), be gentler, for even if you yourself leave, to have someone to call you forth
Be bold and dare!
Be humble, hopeful and always find the strength to forgive.
Don't embrace silence and don't forget to say: I love you and with every passing moment I turn sadder and colder.


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## Maria^

First I wanna thank you for your kindness in trying to help me.
I must clarify the fact that the lines I wrote are not the entire poem, since I was advised to cut it into pieces because of forum regulations.
Your translation helps me to understand better the general idea behind the poem.
I would like your personal opinion on the way the poem is written. Is it possible that it was firstly an english text (or in any another language) translated into romanian and that is why trying to translate it now makes it kinda odd??

I also take the liberty of asking for further help with the next 4 lines of text.

"Nu stiu cum sa imi indrept greselile dar stiu ca fara tine ma ratacesc in idei, si ma pierd printre vise haine.
Ca noaptea, sa pasim peste zi mai departe.
Sa avem curaj ca iubirea sa fie un strigat, nu soapte.
Sa fim impreuna la bine si greu, pasind peste piedici impreuna, mereu

I do not know how to clear up mistakes but I know that without you I get lost in ideas, among dreams and I lost clothes. 
As the night to walk the day on
Love to have courage be a cry, not whispers.
To be together for good and hard, stepping over obstacles together, always.


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## farscape

I think the idea was to have separate threads for each 

The "poem" appears to be genuinely Romanian - with internal rhymes here and there and other "poetical" intricacies. Poetry is always hard to translate regardless of the languages involved because what matters is how the words, sounds and ideas are associated and linked together. One of the greatest Romanian poets of the 20th century, Tudor Argehzi, was asked once to define poetry. His answer: "Poetry is fitting words together". Around that time he published a book of poems titled "(Be)fitted Words" (very hard to translate this play on words).

I'll take a look later at your four-liner and see what I can come up with.

Later,


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## Maria^

Oh God, I'm breaking rules here, ain't I?  I'm so sorry 
I should have posted several threads. Even if I think that breaking up the text and removing it from context makes it harder to properly translate it.
I found this poem on a video posted on youtube by capo81 called "Mi-e dor de tine!" 
Besides the magnificent choice of music and photos, it has this romanian words that somehow make it all just awsome, even if I couldn't understand what was written. 
I'm portuguese so latin is the basis of my language, and so is romanian. Some words just seemed familiar to me and I started translating, but one thing is translating words, other is translating meanings. I'm sure you understand.
What I got didn't fully satisfy me and that is why I came to this forum for help.
Once again, thank you for your kindness.


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## rozmarin

Hi Maria.

Maybe you have finished translating your poem by now, but I'll give a try at the last 4 lines. I tried to make the meaning more evident, not to produce something that could pass as a poem in English.

"I don't know how to repair my mistakes, but I know that without you I get lost in ideas and I get lost in nightmares.
Like the night steps over the day, let's step further.
Let's be bold, so love will be a cry not whispers.
Let's be together, for better and for worse, overcoming hardships, always together."

And now some comments:
1. "Vise haine" is a poetic way of saying "coşmar". Someone "hain" is a very bad person, full of ill intentions. It's a word used normally to refer to persons, not things or situations.
2. I translated "strigăt" as "cry". In Romanian, this word doesn't have the meaning related to tears. So the meaning in this poem is more the opposite of whispering.
3. The second line isn't translated mot-a-mot. I rearranged the words a little to make the idea more evident.
4. I also think it's genuine, not a translation, but although the ideas expressed might melt someone's heart, there are incomparably more beautiful romanian poems out there.


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## Trisia

Hello, all.

Actually, the rules prohibit translations longer than four lines, no matter in how many threads. Sorry, guys. I'll leave this thread standing but this discussion is closed for now. Thanks for your understanding.

Trisia
(moderator)


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