# insomma scarseggia il tuo computer



## kveelee

deleting message


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## Tobycek

Well, I'll keep to myself my views on whether you should be reading his e-mails...!!

But anyway, the first one is gently making fun of him because his computer is not working properly (scarseggiare = to be running out, to be lacking);
the second one is asking him to put some credit on the person's phone and he/she'll come by and pay him later. 
"La Befana" is a fabled witch who traditionally delivers gifts to people on 6th January (today!).


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## Silvia

First of all, if you're dating this guy, you should ask him to teach you some Italian. Anyway, if you don't understand it, how come he speaks Italian?

insomma scarseggia il tuo computer!!! = In short, your pc is lacking (something? It looks like there's something previously said that only you two know of)
dai vabbe' un bacio = anyway, a kiss

www !! la befana!!!!! = best wishes for the Befana (all the women get those wishes today, literally it sounds like long live the Befana!)
senti mi carichi il cell? dopo passo a pagarti? 25 euro = Listen, why don't you put some credit in my cell phone card? Later I'll visit and give you the money (what do you say)? 25 euro

Grazie = Thank you


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## Tobycek

Silvia,
Just so as we don't scare poor Kveelee, how common is "un bacio" at the end of an e-mail in Italian? 
In English, a girlfriend might not like to see "a kiss" at the end of an e-mail to her boyfriend from someone else (!), but my instinct tells me that it's probably more "platonic" in Italian.

In the same way: "Ciao bella" is definitely not as strong as "Hi beautiful"!!


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## Silvia

Toby, it looks like I missed that point where Kveelee said the message was from some girl... in fact I thought it was for her.

A kiss is just a kiss, but nothing I would say to a friend. Especially if I know that that friend is engaged. But that's just me. Perhaps that girl is very social and likes to kiss her friends 

Anyway, we cannot judge people, we just talk of languages, don't we?!


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## Silvia

On the other hand, a cousin of mine who's 19 sent me an sms for New Year's Eve and it said at the end:
bacio. Bacio sexy 

So I guess it's very common among youngies.


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## Tobycek

I think Kveelee should go around to this girl's house and lay down the law! 

She sounds like trouble to me...

As for a cousin saying "bacio sexy" - that's just rather disturbing!
But I guess maybe he was drunk. 

T.


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## Silvia

Actually, it's a she!


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## Silvia

Hmm Kveelee... how did you read the message? Are you using his pc? Or did he send it by mistake? 

What would you like to write him? her?


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## Tobycek

I was only joking saying that she sounds like trouble. To be honest I think both the emails were pretty harmless!

I would just ask him casually if he's been to any shops today or something, and see if he mentions charging up the phone...
But think about it: if you write to her, she'll tell him, he'll get annoyed, and..........................
You don't want him to think you're neurotic!  

But if you're determined to send something, I'm sure we can help you.


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## Silvia

Kveelee, I see you already did something by yourself, though I didn't get what exactly. Anyway, you could write her asking whether she knows *name-of-your-bf*. In case you decide to write, just post the text.

Good luck!


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## Paulina

Tobycek said:
			
		

> In the same way: "Ciao bella" is definitely not as strong as "Hi beautiful"!!


A quick question.... why isn't "Ciao bella" the same or as strong as "hi beautiful"?  As someone just learning the language, I know the 2 are direct translations of one another...so I suppose it has something to do with the context of when each is used....could you explain?
Thank you


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## Gianni

Hi Tobycek,

    No everyone would describe la Befana as a witch;  an old lady perhaps who brings gifts to good children and lumps of coal to bad on the day of the Epiphany.  Sound familiar?  Gianni


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## Paulina

kveelee said:
			
		

> in English, we would say "pretty" or "cute". . mostly... and beautiful is the top. But, I do know that Bellissima is stronger than bella as that is most beautiful.


Thanks Kveelee...

So, would saying BellissimO be the equivilant of calling a man very handsome?  Is it an equally appropriate commment to make to a man


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## Silvia

If that can be of any help... I don't call people bella, nor bellissima, I guess it's just very colloquial and somehow a way to sound cool. Anyway, it's something you would say to someone you're intimate with (cioè con qualcuno con cui hai abbastanza confidenza), a close friend, a cousin, a niece... otherwise it would sound either rude or awkward.


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## Silvia

bellissimo = very handsome or very very hot, or very very good-looking


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## Silvia

Yes. I'm sure our Italian fellows will come up with other synonims.

Cheers.


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## lsp

Gianni said:
			
		

> No everyone would describe la Befana as a witch;  an old lady perhaps who brings gifts to good children and lumps of coal to bad on the day of the Epiphany.  Sound familiar?  Gianni


It means old hag, but she is very often described or drawn as a witch. Look at this site.


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## Silvia

More about her is written here and in the WR Italy Calendar.


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## Alfry

silviap said:
			
		

> On the other hand, a cousin of mine who's 19 sent me an sms for New Year's Eve and it said at the end:
> bacio. Bacio sexy
> 
> So I guess it's very common among youngies.


Usually it depends on the context of the whole mail or SMS.

In general I don't think it is a severe situation.
I have a lot of friends (girls and boys) that close their friendly emails with "baci", "un bacio" and so on.

So don't be upset...


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## Alfry

kveelee said:
			
		

> oh. .. this is driving me pazza! yes. ..i see your point on both accounts. One thing is for sure. . . .I don't like it one bit. . . !!!! How about we prepare a message for me to send to her.. .in Italian. That sounds like a good idea.


wowww
slow down...
I thought Italian girls were hot-blooded but you are making me change my mind.

the messages seemed innocent to me...


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## Silvia

Alfry, that's typical from a male point of view 

I guess one should be more upset for the kind of intimacy shown there, than for the kiss itself, which is no big deal anyway.


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## Alfry

silviap said:
			
		

> Kveelee, I see you already did something by yourself, though I didn't get what exactly. Anyway, you could write her asking whether she knows *name-of-your-bf*. In case you decide to write, just post the text.
> 
> Good luck!


and what if she found out that this girl is his cousin or something like that?
maybe a collegue... now you have an advantage... use it
keep your eyes opened...
and my opinion is:
if someone is to blame (I hope it's not you case) then you have to blame your boyfriend. so ask him if you are tortured from this strange situation.

I know... it's a delicate, tricky situation so consider my suggestion for what it is... only a possibility


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## Silvia

alfry said:
			
		

> and what if she found out that this girl is his cousin or something like that?


 That's why I suggested to ask her if she knows him and in what terms.


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## Alfry

silviap said:
			
		

> bellissimo = very handsome or very very hot, or very very good-looking


Yes,
but I'd like to point out that for a man it looks like a good compliment, anyway.

I don't think a men would offend for that in italy.
The worst thing you can get back is a nice smile.


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## Alfry

silviap said:
			
		

> Alfry, that's typical from a male point of view
> 
> I guess one should be more upset for the kind of intimacy shown there, than for the kiss itself, which is no big deal anyway.


of course, 
infact I told that she sould pay attention more at the context than at the virtual kiss.


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## Alfry

silviap said:
			
		

> That's why I suggested to ask her if she knows him and in what terms.


già,
è una faccenda molto delicata comunque.
tutto è possibile e bisogna muoversi con i piedi di piombo.
posso capire, però, lo stato d'animo delle persone coinvolte.

il rischio è che se poi alla fine si risolve tutto in una bolla di sapone lui possa davvero innervosirsi e rischierebbe di perserlo seriamente.

piedi di piomnissimo...


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## USAKris

Well, it's none of my business but I just got drawn in by reading this whole thing, so I'll put my 2 cents in too! 

If I were you, I would be LESS concerned about the "a kiss" and that stuff as about the phone bill conversation.  If she is talking to this guy about having cell phone bills reimbursed, doesn't that suggest to you that they spend a LOT of time on the phone together?  And if so, why would you not know about it unless he had something to hide?  It just seems to me that if it was his cousin, for example, you would know about him talking to her on the phone a lot.  

Sounds pretty shifty to me.  Good luck!


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## Alfry

USAKris said:
			
		

> Well, it's none of my business but I just got drawn in by reading this whole thing, so I'll put my 2 cents in too!
> 
> If I were you, I would be LESS concerned about the "a kiss" and that stuff as about the phone bill conversation. If she is talking to this guy about having cell phone bills reimbursed, doesn't that suggest to you that they spend a LOT of time on the phone together? And if so, why would you not know about it unless he had something to hide? It just seems to me that if it was his cousin, for example, you would know about him talking to her on the phone a lot.
> 
> Sounds pretty shifty to me. Good luck!


Why do you say "shifty"?
she only asks him to put some money on her phone credit... that's a favour she's asking him. Then she points out that she's going to give him his money back. 
This thing doesn't imply a long time spent talking each other by mobile phone.
Maybe chatting by email is more probable. 

we have no evidence of a "mischief" from the lines she posted.

these are two cents of mine, of course.

on the other side I can understand that she suspects a trick. A man writing to a woman, a woman writing to a man. But what if she's a collegue of his? that is a pretty normal situation, isn't it. 
So I agree with Silvia... are you sure you know this man very well? how long have you been together? does he talk about his job to you?

Since she has nothing more than 5 lines my hint is: talk to him first, don't talk to her.

that's all.


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## danalto

Just one cent: as alfry already told you  talk to him first, don't talk to her.

And, above all LET US KNOW ABOUT IT!

  (joking! good luck, anyway!
  dany


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## USAKris

Good points...and back to the discussion of what this forum is for (haha), would it be inappropriate in Italy to use the "a kiss" line for a colleague?  This is DEFINITELY inappropriate in the US unless your colleague is also a close friend.


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## Silvia

USAKris said:
			
		

> would it be inappropriate in Italy to use the "a kiss" line for a colleague?  This is DEFINITELY inappropriate in the US unless your colleague is also a close friend.


Never seen such a thing all my life long. Though in some places, being hypocrites is the rule, everybody's anybody's friend... if you know what I mean.


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## Tormenta

kveelee said:
			
		

> oh. .. this is driving me pazza! yes. ..i see your point on both accounts. One thing is for sure. . . .I don't like it one bit. . . !!!! How about we prepare a message for me to send to her.. .in Italian. That sounds like a good idea.




Hi Keveelee,

I think you need advice from somebody who is older   
How about talking to your b/f and asking him up front.  You can explain that you read the first e-mail by mistake and you would like to know who the girl is.

If you talk to this girl, your b/f will find out anyway and it will make you look very bad.  It might make you look jelous, childish, and insecure; but I guess you want to find out because you worry!

Anyhow, I would talk to him and get things straight. Maybe she is just a friend, I am not Italian but I am Latin and we do send kisses all the time, actually, if you read some of the Spanish posts you will see that many of them end with the word "besos"(kisses).

Best luck,

Tormenta


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## Alfry

USAKris said:
			
		

> Good points...and back to the discussion of what this forum is for (haha), would it be inappropriate in Italy to use the "a kiss" line for a colleague? This is DEFINITELY inappropriate in the US unless your colleague is also a close friend.


Often collegues are friends too.
That's my case, for instance. 

Moreover, it depends on the friendship and the familiarity.

I would never close my email to a managing director with a "un bacio" if I'm not his private and personal secretary (I'm kidding obviously, I don't look so fine with my miniskirt)!

I can tell you more, when I go to my office and the secretary knows I'm there, she comes to my room and says: "che ci fai qui? sei venuto a dare fastidio?" (what are you doing here, are you here to bother us?) and goes away.

 Naturally she's joking and I know that!


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## paolorausch

I just discovered this thread, i feel out of the loop. To be honest, there are plenty of bubbly folk, me included, i end nearly every txt with besos o baci, or if there is a group "baci a tutti". You would ask him about it before you do anything else, for all you know they may be old friends, and if they were more than friends. I doubt they would use e-mail as their form of intimate exchange of love.

 But then again 30% of all cheating men in Italy are discovered by SMS conversation they do not delete off their phones (According to BBCNews.com). We need a forum for dating advice 

  hehe, baci a tutti!


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## danalto

> But if it means, "anyway, a kiss", like Silviap said. .than that is not so bad.


 Hi! Just a quick note: yes, it definitively mean what Silvia said.
Vabbè - _va bene_ - it's just a way to introduce a sentence, a word that gives a sort of lightness to the whole expression, if you know what I mean.

  Good luck, and...*[OT] *if you'll need some piece of advice about italian men, feel freee to pvt message me! 

  ciao!
  un bacio 
  daniela


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## Alfry

kveelee said:
			
		

> Now the other message, the one with her making fun of his computer and the vabbe` kiss stuff. . .. worries me a little as the attatchment she had sent to him prior (that he couldn't open nor could i because of a virus,) may have been of "adult content" if you get my meaning, like some explicit photos, but I have no idea of what or who etc. The good news is, he only responded to her to say that he could not open the attatchement. In the 2nd message (about the phone) he didn't reply at all, just trashed the note. But I don't know if she ended up stopping by there for her "refill" on her silly phone. another clue is. . she is NOT listed as one of his contacts on his email or on his IM, which i thought was a good sign?


hmmmm... you gave me another possible interpretation.

Can it be a spam email?
I always receive mails like that from people I don't know and often my antivirus founds a Virus and deletes all the attachments.

Maybe e doesn't know that girl, but it is only a possibility.


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## Alfry

danalto said:
			
		

> Hi! Just a quick note: yes, it definitively mean what Silvia said.
> Vabbè - _va bene_ - it's just a way to introduce a sentence, a word that gives a sort of lightness to the whole expression, if you know what I mean.
> 
> Good luck, and...*[OT] *if you'll need some piece of advice about italian men, feel freee to pvt message me!
> 
> ciao!
> un bacio
> daniela


da quando sei diventata esperta in uomini?


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## danalto

alfry said:
			
		

> da quando sei diventata esperta in uomini?


 Devo proprio rispondere?


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## Alfry

danalto said:
			
		

> Devo proprio rispondere?


non ti ha insegnato la mamma che non devi dire tutto, proprio tutto tutto quello che ti passa per la testa?

E poi ogni tuo tentativo (adesso mi risponderai di sicuro) di "spiegare" noi uomini sarà sempre opinabile e sicuramente farcito di lucubrazioni mentali che ne complicano la natura...  

(cerchiamo di interpretare la tua dinamica mentale adesso: 
gli rispondo? non mi abbasserò.... ma si... un piccolo umano mortale e anche maschio... non posso rispondere.... ma se lo faccio poi... vabbè gli rispondo... e mi risponderai)

(stessa situazione ribaltata... ma che ha scritto questa... *vabbè*...mi faccio una birra) 

accidenti... ho usato parole che nemmeno io sapevo di conoscere


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## danalto

alfry said:
			
		

> accidenti... ho usato parole che nemmeno io sapevo di conoscere


 Sì, sì...ad esempio *lucubrazioni *mentali? 

  (si dice *elucubrazioni*, foreros!)

 Mio caro, non essendo questo il luogo adatto ad uno scontro verbale uomo/donna, ti propongo di spostare il dibattito (o meglio, il *duello *) su MSN messenger, diciamo...domani mattina alle 05.00. Come la vedi?


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## Alfry

danalto said:
			
		

> Sì, sì...ad esempio *lucubrazioni *mentali?
> 
> (si dice *elucubrazioni*, foreros!)
> 
> Mio caro, non essendo questo il luogo adatto ad uno scontro verbale uomo/donna, ti propongo di spostare il dibattito (o meglio, il *duello *) su MSN messenger, diciamo...domani mattina alle 05.00. Come la vedi?


alle 5? ehm... diciamo che hai vinto tu
alle 5 non so nemmeno come mi chiamo

hai visto che non non le conoscevo? e poi mi è scappata una e soltanto... 

dato che la sfida è tua
l'arma ed il posto li scelgo io
vediamoooooo... mumble mumble
"Nomi, cose e città" ed ingredienti di ricette.
però ci serve chi sceglie la lettera... non va bene


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## Alfry

kveelee said:
			
		

> Sooo, who won the debate between Daniela and Alfy??? (if I interpreted that correctly)
> 
> Anyway, back to my problem. . sounds like Alfy is really cheering for the Italian guy in this one!
> 
> And I will definitely seek inside information from an Italian girl. . . Daniela!! Grazie!!!!!


I was only joking... 
I knew that Daniela is a clever girl and she woud have realized my joke.

she's working too much, a little competition can help her to stay awake and quick-witted.


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## Alfry

kveelee said:
			
		

> sorry Afry. .I spelled your name wrong in the last message! Thank you for your words of wisdom on my matter!!


you are absolutely welcome...
I think that all your problems will fade away. 

You can trust somone or you can't.
If you are right there's no problem, if you are wrong you are not to blame.


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## danalto

alfry said:
			
		

> I was only joking...
> I knew that Daniela is a clever girl and she woud have realized my joke.
> 
> she's working too much, a little competition can help her to stay awake and quick-witted.


 _*YAWN!

*_ No, please, let me sleep!​


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