# Smiling at strangers on the street



## blancalaw

If you were walking down the street and a stranger smiles at you, how would you react?  I heard in France if you smile at someone you do not know, they would think you are laughing at them, but in the USA it is acceptable.  Why is this?  How is it in your town?


----------



## Gargoyle

I think there is a difference between a  smile and laugh without any reason.
If you make a shy smile to someone that you do not know, you are being polite. But if you start laughing in front of him/ her and you cannot stop, the another person could get angry, at least in Spain.


----------



## nichec

blancalaw said:
			
		

> If you were walking down the street and a stranger smiles at you, how would you react? I heard in France if you smile at someone you do not know, they would think you are laughing at them, but in the USA it is acceptable. Why is this? How is it in your town?


 
Hummm....I used to live in Paris, but I'd never found out that. I would say that the Parisians are colder and more indifferent to others (especially strangers, regardless of his/her nationality), but I don't think it's a problem if you smile at a stranger in Paris (well, he/she will probably think that you are out of your mind ). It's definitely true that here in USA people smile more though. In my hometown, Taiwan, people smile quite a lot, and it's very usual to have strangers smile at you. It would actually be considered impolite if you seldom smile. Older people in Taiwan would say all the time that it's not important if a girl is pretty or not, but rather it's more important if she keeps her smile on her face or not. (what a pressure on us )

Well, I'm a rather shy person, so I don't usually smile at strangers, but I definitely will smile back if they smile at me. And I'm more than happy to offer them whatever kind of help they need (if it's not out of my reach, that is )


----------



## ILT

In my town, even though it is very big and has its quota of dangerous areas, we smile and even say hello to people we encounter while walking.  Sometimes it is just a nod, sometimes it goes all the way to "good afternoon", it depends on so many things.  But yes, generally, we like being polite and we wouldn't laugh at someone smiling at us, we would reply with the same greeting.


----------



## jinti

In New York City, we've made an art form out of avoiding even eye contact (while surreptitiously staring, naturally  ).  Random street smiling -- well, if there are a lot of people waiting for the bus, for instance, I'll probably just join them expressionlessly.  But if there's only one, and particularly if it's a woman, I'll sometimes smile and nod.


----------



## JazzByChas

I will say that here in the U.S.A. the amount of smiling done between strangers depends on where you are.  Most areas of this country, people are very friendly and smile, or even exchange a small conversation.  Other areas (typically big cities like NYC) people may be less friendly, maybe because there are soooo many people there all packed together and in a hurry!

Myself, I like to smile at those I pass, especially if there is eye contact.  I am a "gabber" so If I am, say, standing in line next to someone, I may start a short conversation.  My wife says that I like to "interview" people, esp. sales clerks, customer service types, and other with whom you actually talk.

I also find that adults are more open to smiling at strangers that kids...or maybe they just don't smile at (trust/think cool) adults...


----------



## Vanda

For us it's a natural trait to smile to strangers in the street. Big citieis, of course , are losing this nice habit, but I, despite living in a big center, haven't lost it. I'll go further, I talk to strangers on buses stops, inside the bus, in the shops...I'm a big smiler, myself.


----------



## nanel

In Madrid, I think we act like Jinti said they do in NYC. We don't smile at people we don't know.


----------



## belén

My experience in Los Angeles, while I was living there, is that people smile at you much more often that in other cities I have been, and L.A. is one big city! 

In my hometown, Palma, 300000 inhabitants, we are constantly bumping into people that we know, not necessarily friends or acquaintances, but people that you may have seen here and there, or that went to the same school as you did. Since it gets exhausting to say hello to everybody, we have developed kind of a "ritual" that depends on how much you know the person. If you barely know him/her, you lift your eyebrows, a smile comes in the next level, a "hey" would be the next level and of course, "hello" plus stopping and chatting is the highest level...

So, nope, in Palma people do not smile at you unless it is strictly necessary 

Belén


----------



## Mei

Hi,

If a strange smiles me I always think that I have something funny in my face (some leaf or paint) that shouldn't be there, je je  

What I do is when I see a kid I stick my tongue out and most of them do the same to me, then they smile or tell to their mother and it's when I star to run!

Mei


----------



## Phryne

As much as everyone say that in NYC (and also in my natal Rosario, Argentina) that we don't smile at anyone on the streets, I get smiles once in a while and I DO smile back gladly. I like that habit so I try to save it from extinction!  

Save the smiles!!!!


----------



## GenJen54

> If you were walking down the street and a stranger smiles at you, how would you react? …but in the USA it is acceptable. Why is this? How is it in your town?


 The US city where I live – and where I am from – is particularly open and friendly. We say hello to strangers all of the time, or at least glance and smile. I usually don’t open a new conversation with them (that’s just my personality), but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. My husband, unlike me, will pick up a conversation and make “friends” with almost anyone he comes in contact with.

On a side note…there is another peculiarity that is indicative of my region/area. It is the “two finger” or “four finger” salute while driving. These salutes are particularly important in rural areas. 

Assume you are driving down a lumbering stretch of a gravel and dirt road. Your right hand rests lazily but firmly on the top of the steering wheel. Your left elbow is propped up against the driver’s-side window frame. 

When an oncoming vehicle approaches, it is appropriate to give a “salute” as follows:

If you don’t recognize the other driver, you give them a “two finger salute” by lifting two fingers off of the steering wheel in a sort of wave.

If you find when in passing the oncoming car pick-up truck that you _know_ the other driver, you give them a “four finger salute,” meaning all four fingers of the driving hand are raised in a wave-like motion. Throw a head and eyebrow “nod” at them for good measure, and that’s pretty much what you’d call a rural roadside “hello.” 





> I heard in France if you smile at someone you do not know, they would think you are laughing at them, but in the USA it is acceptable. Why is this? How is it in your town?


In my experience while living in France, the protocol in general was to keep your eyes straight ahead, or more likely down (to guarantee avoiding the “sidewalk bombs” left by offending French pooches, and the owners who bothered not to pick up after them). Sorry, French forer@s, but it was a sad truth.

In the subways, the same held true. Most people kept to themselves, reading or listening to music, while in such crowded spaces. Eye contact was an invitation for a scornful look.

This is not to say the French were not friendly or did not greet you if they recognized or knew you. In the University town where I lived, I would often bump into acquaintances or fellow students on the street with whom I would share some kind of acknowledgment. 

I don’t know if “smiling at someone” in French is equated to “laughing” at them. At least, I’ve never heard that. 

Much depends upon the experience of where people are from. People from the larger cities tended to be more “closed” (which is a universal truth and not unique to France). People fromsmaller towns were much warmer and more welcoming of a “smile” or “hello” from a stranger.


----------



## blancalaw

jinti said:
			
		

> In New York City, we've made an art form out of avoiding even eye contact (while surreptitiously staring, naturally  ).  Random street smiling -- well, if there are a lot of people waiting for the bus, for instance, I'll probably just join them expressionlessly.  But if there's only one, and particularly if it's a woman, I'll sometimes smile and nod.



It is the same way here in Detroit.  I believe in the bigger cities it is possible to smile at someone, but it is not required.  If you ignore the person, you will not be seen as snobbish.  But if you say “Hi how are you?” to the person, that person may feel a little uncomfortable and wonder why are you talking to him.  I have often thought that when people say hi to me.
However I understand in small towns it is custom to greet everyone because it is easier to know all the residents.
How is it with small towns in France?  Anyone from a small French town?


----------



## *Cowgirl*

Where I live, everyone knows everybody else anyways. So in the grocery store when you need only bread and nothing else, you amy be in there for an hour because you saw Suzy from down the street. 

If the rare occurance of finding a stranger happens you may smile or say good afternoon. But, warning if you come to my home town and encounter some of the older ladies they will be polite and say hello right before grilling you on who your parents are and how much land you own......It could take awhile.


----------



## canvist

From my experience, what you've heard about France is very true. I've definitely noticed that people in France don't smile as much as people in Canada or the US. Here, it's just a way of appearing friendly. But in France, you only smile if something's funny. Otherwise, people think you're laughing at them or you're just an idiot who smiles for no reason. 

In France, I've personally been in a couple of situations where the person took offense because they thought I was laughing at them, when I just smiled out of habit. The French seemed snobbish/rude because they would never smile. But I've learned that it's certainly not personal. Smiling is just not the way people let you know they like you. It has a different meaning there.

So if someone smiled at met, I'd react differently depending on which country (or part of country) I am in.


----------



## maxiogee

I'm a smiler (occasionally) and a talker (less frequently) and have never been looked at as if I had two heads, or rebuffed by surly citizens. And I don't think it's because they are too stunned by my rudeness, it's just that Irish people are a bit chatty (as the mods here will verify!) and strangers talk to each other regularly.


----------



## Anajo

I often note people discussing this business about what the French think about smiling at a stranger. This seems to me to be something too general to draw any definite conclusions. The last time that I went to Paris, I had many different experiences of some people being friendly and some being indifferent and I noticed quite a difference between the different quartiers. No one smiles on the Metro, but then there isn't a whole lot to smile about in such a crowded area. However, on the quiet backstreets where people are more at peace, there are a lot of friendly people. I really didn't note much difference in how much people smile or don't smile than from where I live.


----------



## Tatzingo

Hi, 

When i was living in France, in the South, people smiled at each other all the time in the streets. There seemed to be no hostile reactions when people smiled at each other... then again, i've never been to other parts of France so i can't say whether it's a french thing or a regional thing.

In England, you get a bit of a mixed reaction if you smile at someone in the street... sometimes you get ignored, sometimes they smile back and sometimes they frown at you. I've not spotted any pattern to it at all... it might even depend on the weather for all i know!

Tatz.


----------



## Anajo

Hi Tatz,
I have also been to the south of France and I did find that, in general, the people are friendlier there. I have also noticed that here in the U.S. the people are friendlier in the southern states, in general, and I emphasize, in general. I wonder if there is just something about warmer climates that puts people in a more congenial mood?


----------



## tvdxer

blancalaw said:
			
		

> If you were walking down the street and a stranger smiles at you, how would you react?  I heard in France if you smile at someone you do not know, they would think you are laughing at them, but in the USA it is acceptable.  Why is this?  How is it in your town?



Why?  Because it shows friendliness.  It says, without words, "Hello".  I can't see any reason in the world why one would look negatively upon this practice. 

On a busy street, people generally do not smile at one another (except if they're "interested").  But when I'm walking down sidewalks in less populated areas, e.g. residential districts, those passing by will sometimes smile or greet me.  I would say half of those who do so are above the age of 60, so it seems to be a dying tradition.

This applies even more when I'm riding my bike or walking in a rural area, i.e. on dirt roads.  A high percentage of motorists wave, and the few people I find also on foot or bike will usually say "hi" as well.


----------



## quilks

Smiling at a stranger in a crowded English city would probably leave the stranger confused (wondering if they should recognise you!) or get you punched ('What are you smiling at?'). 

Laughing is a definite 'no go' and giggles should most certainly be stifled in nearly all situations - unless an hilarious event apparent to both of you has happened in the immediate vicinity (man slipping on a banana skin, etc). 

A smile, nod or other acknowlegement (and maybe greeting) is almost expected in situations where you might come across a stranger in less crowded conditions, i.e. walking along a lane, on arriving at a bus stop, etc.


----------



## gato2

En Barcelona sonreir a un extraño sin ningun motivo  no es buena idea. La persona sonreida podria pensar que te ries de ella o, peor aun, que te estas insinuando.


----------



## jsanz

You don't smile to anyone you don't know in the street, in Colombia; it's not mentioned, but it may be taken as flirting.  You need some excuse -a bad traffic jam when in a bus, a longer line than usual at the bank- just to talk; smiling, even a courtesy smile is for later stages.

I lived for a while in Georgia, in the U.S, where you smiled a little smile every time you made eye contact, usually more so where there are few people around.  Kind of a recognition of the other person's presence, I guess...


----------



## danielfranco

A nod and a half-smile are often a friendly acknowledgment of strangers, here in Dallas. But I wanted to comment that a lot of us guys (and especially Latinos, for some mysterious reason or other) often do the famous "straight-faced, upward tilt of the chin" salute that seems to say, "wazz'up?"


----------



## panjandrum

Here is a sweeping generalisation.
When we meet a stranger, the warmth of the greeting is inversely proportional to the population density 
In a busy city, eye contact is avoided.
On a desolate mountain track, we stop and chat with the only person we've seen for two hours.


----------



## Just_Wil

Bueno, vivo en San José, capital de Costa Rica, y contrario a la propaganda de "banana republic" que se nos hace, pues, la gente de la ciudad es fría, distante, desconfiada, como en cualquier ciudad del mundo. Lo de la sonrisa entre extraños sólo se ve en comerciales de televisión. Pero en cualquier caso, si se da, me imagino que la gente lo ignoraría porque pensarían: "Por qué me sonríe si yo ni siquiera lo conozco??"


----------



## tvdxer

In the U.S., one major contrast between the inhabitants of small towns and those who live in big cities is in the body language they use with strangers.  

In many small towns and rural areas, it is customary to acknowledge the presence of strangers by making a bit of eye contact with them and a friendly smile, or even small talk (saying "hello", etc.).  For example, if you're walking down a sidewalk in a small town - even a small city of 85,000 like my own - it is common to greet another pedestrian on the sidewalk with a "Hey", if there are not too many other people (and considering this is the U.S., where the car is king, there aren't).  Even if you don't greet them, a brief look at a stranger (perhaps in a hallway, or in an elevator) is likely to be responded to by eye contact and a smile.

Large cities, however, couldn't be any more different.  In large cities (Boston, Chicago, New York, etc.) it is common to act as if other strangers on the street barely exist, and to avoid any sort of contact with them if not necessary, especially eye contact.  Granted, on a crowded sidewalk it'd be impossible to do the small-town thing to everybody, but there seems to be more to this.  If you're walking down a street in many neighborhoods, the eye contact and friendly smile customary in small-town America could be taken as a provocation to violence.  

A professor related to us a story of a friend he brought from Brooklyn to Duluth: he was walking down the street when a man gave him (probably brief) eye contact and a friendly but unintrusive smile - totally normal for here.  The Brooklynite responded to this gesture with words: "Who the f**k are you looking at?".  

How is it in your country?  I've heard in some (Finland, etc.) that somebody using "small town American" style of "greeting" strangers would be looked at if they were mentally disabled or something.


----------



## Grop

Hello, in France I would say it really depends on cities.

In Paris you can hardly make eye contact with most people, and it is quite unnatural to insist. Even then, people won't be violent or agressive, they will just boldly ignore you unless you actually have something to say.

However it may be more natural in some other cities, such as Marseille or Nice. Most people won't greet you, but they will often answer and maybe smile when you do. Of course I wouldn't do this on a crowded sidewalk.

Smaller towns aren't really different, unless we talk about really small places, like 5000 people or less.

Now, it is quite customary to greet people that you see outdoors, when hiking or jogging - unless the place is crowded.


----------



## acemach

Hi,

In Malaysia it's only done in small villages or small towns where people know each other more or less by sight.
In cities or larger towns, it wouldn't be taken as a provocation, but people would stare back at you suspiciously.
Here people stick to the 'mind your own business' mindset. Sometimes even if you call out to a stranger on a sidewalk, he/she will assume you're calling someone else and ignore you. 
Often we are quite surprised by the willingness with which people (usually Westerners) salute or strike up a conversation with someone they've never met. It's something we should do more here. =]

Ace


----------



## Wynn Mathieson

One thing I have noticed here (in all parts of the United Kingdom, except big cities -- which I cannot speak for) is that a lot depends upon the time of day.

In the early morning (say, before about 7.00am) -- when there are relatively few pedestrians about, other than people on their way to or from the paper shop, out exercising their dog, or simply talking a healthy early-morning stroll themselves -- it is almost obligatory to greet anyone whose path once crosses with brief eye-contact and a "g'morning!" Later, however, as people are hurrying to work and  the roads become busier, spoken and direct visual contact tends to disappear.

In the evenings, as the number of people out and about falls, the reverse tends to happen and greetings return -- with the big difference, however, that many people appear more anxious in the evenings, especially the darker it gets (and the likelihood increases that a stranger may be the worse for drink!), and they may therefore try to avoid recognizing the other person's presence.

In lightly populated rural areas, greetings are more likely to take place all day long, and on the open road -- when you can see someone coming minutes before you meet -- then it would be most peculiar to pass someone by without at the very least a grunt.

My own theory is that this behaviour is "friendly signalling" to a stranger that one is not hostile. What an indictment it is, therefore, of how alienated life in the big cities has become that -- as has already been remarked above -- greeting (or even looking directly at) a stranger there is so often be regarded as an act of aggression.. :-(


----------



## PABLO DE SOTO

In Spain we make more eye contact with strangers than our northern neighbours--
Eye contact is not offensive, unless this contact is too persistent.
But we do not smile at strangers especially in big cities. It would be impossible to smile at everyone you meet in the crowded streets of Madrid or Seville.
In rural and small villages it is usual not smiling but saying good morning, hello or something, because everybody knows eachother, but even if a stranger comes to a small village he will probably be greeted.

In Spain when you get into a closed space, say a restaurant, it is usual that people look, sometimes very indiscreetly, at who is coming in. In other European countries I have noticed that people do not look at those who are coming in, or at least they don't do it so indiscreetly.


----------



## Hyper Squirrel

In some parts of the US this is considered normal, but in more urban places it would be seen as odd or even rude.


----------



## mirx

Contrary to what a fellow countryman of mine expressed earlier, I don't think Mexicans are good at smiling, let alone at strangers. We do, however, acknowledge others' presences and we do it a lot, but not with a smile; god forbid directed at another male, he will think we are gay and have something going on. We just tilt the chin a bit upwards and maybe raise the eyebrows, an occasional "eitah", "eyt" or "quibo" are also acceptable, facial expressions must be kept to a minimum. This scenario would be in a, say, rural context and with complete strangers. Cities are pretty much lile any other city already described in the thread.

Old people, generally women, are an exeption, for some reason they feel entitled to interrogate anyone who happens to cross their way, and a warm smile maybe just the perfect way to lure you into their talk, usually gossip.

Then we have the countryside greetings, which in northern Mexico are identical, and I mean it, to what GenJen54 described in post 12.


----------



## Trisia

I think Panj's "sweeping generalisation" is a very good one.

Back in my hometown (population: 275.000), people don't smile at each other on the street unless there's a reason to (for example, it's okay to make eye-contact with others and smile when there's something you have in common: you're both carrying a large blue box, you've all just witnessed a funny incident while waiting for the bus, or you almost knocked each other trying to avoid a hole in the ground). Otherwise, people don't expect strangers to smile and if you do, they'll be racking their brains for the next ten-fifteen seconds, trying to figure out if you've met before.

In the village where I live now (5000 people), it's pretty rude not to smile at people, even if you don't know them. They won't like you one bit, anyway.

In the capital where everyone is busy and in a hurry we don't smile much. Smiling at strangers might be considered flirtatious if the other is close to your age, plain weird, or not considered at all. It's perfectly okay to smile at strangers' children, fluffy toys and pets though.


----------



## mymy

It would be imposible to go chatting or smiling to everyone in big cities for obvious reasons but I would worry the same if a stranger would smile at me in a city or in my hometown (around 25.000 pop.) and stares at me while doing it or if a stranger’s conversation was sort of weird, or insistent or asking personal information. 

I would say it depends on the attitude of the person who smiles. If while walking down the street someone coming in the opposite direction shows, when passing by, a discreet smile, I just smile back. It’s a way of sending a nice sensation, a nice feeling. If while waiting for the bus / train someone starts chatting, it depens on the way he/ she approches and what his/her conversation is about. This has happened to me in European cities I have visited and also in my hometown. 
With the locals here, you usually greet in the street the ones you know more, although you don’t necessary have a friendship with them, and the rest greet each other or not depending on their mood at that moment.

My experience living and working in Paris was that strangers didn’t smile all the way, but there were smiles sometimes, and there was a bit of chatting too in the subway or outside of it, it depended on the time of the day. I found Parisians and french people on the whole very warm and friendly, very kind and helpful, very polite and respecful, and very elegant too, in the way they are and in the way they do things,. They won my heart right from the very first moment when I passed the border with my little car, I needed help, and I was kindly helped, until the last day when I left. Paris is definitely a city where I wouldn’t mind to live, because it is a beautiful place but more than that because of how welcome and at home the french made feel.


----------



## Ivonne do Tango

En Argentina no ocurriría lo mismo en cualquier provincia o cualquier pueblo. Generalmente pude pensarse que quien sonríe se está insinuando pero obviamente las situaciones son tan variadas como las reacciones.

Me ha ocurrido bastante en la calle (en Buenos Aires) que un señor mayor me sonriera con respeto y ternura, eso me solía resultar muy agradable y retribuía su sonrisa. Sin embargo, me han sonreído señores mayores con intensiones notablemente distintas a ésta que nombré y la sensación ha sido muy desagradable. En tal caso, supongo que en cualquier lado la persona "sonreída" evita el contacto visual y demuestra su indeferencia (al menos es lo que yo he decidido hacer).

La gente más cercana a mi generación no sonríe así porque sí en la calle como si nada, pero algunas veces sucede y -como estoy muy enamorada de mi marido- entonces hago como que no ví y listo.

Creo que es habitual que la gente no sonría indiscriminadamente a extraños en la calle; antes se sonreía más y con dulzura, a mí me gusta y lo retribuyo. En lo que respecta a mí generadora de sonrisas a extraños, suelo hacerlo con ancianos que me generan ternura y siempre recibo miradas tristes acompañadas de una leve sonrisa en retribución. De vez en cuando, las sonrisas son retribuídas en equivalente intensidad e intensión.

Siempre, pero siempre, sonrío a los niños. Se puede ver que mucha gente lo hace.

Saludos,
Ivonne


----------



## HUMBERT0

I guess it depends on the circumstances and region, as many have mention on the country side people are friendlier and it’s more probable that they know each other, and not seen as flirtatious or rare.

  People do smile and make small chat when waiting in line at the doctor’s office or government office for example. Now walking down the street and smiling at people would be more difficult because too many people are doing the same thing, walking from point A to point B.


----------



## Meyer Wolfsheim

blancalaw said:


> If you were walking down the street and a stranger smiles at you, how would you react? I heard in France if you smile at someone you do not know, they would think you are laughing at them, but in the USA it is acceptable. Why is this? How is it in your town?


 
It depends.  In the Northeast USA, if you live in a small town (10,000 population about), usually strangers will smile at you and wave hi, but this applies only to adults/older people.  Here, no matter where you go, any stranger who is not an adult will not smile at/nor recognize you in any manner unless there is some acquaintinceship.  In the city, people become less friendly because they are so caught up in their lives which are superficially busy.  Nevertheless, any general stranger will usually not smile if simply passing by in the street unless of course there is an interest.  

Here it depends; I being young, take any gesture I get from a stranger with utmost caution.  Unless the stranger is my age or looks it, I will be careful to not smile back nor make any eye contact.  

However, it is also worth noting a stranger will usually not smile if you are in a group of people together.  

Because of our day and age, any simply friendly passing by gestures are criticized and hyperbolized to mean that a stranger would have bad intentions.  

People here will assume that if you are laughing in public you are laughing at them and will look at you funny.


----------



## Meyer Wolfsheim

Wynn Mathieson said:


> One thing I have noticed here (in all parts of the United Kingdom, except big cities -- which I cannot speak for) is that a lot depends upon the time of day.
> 
> In the early morning (say, before about 7.00am) -- when there are relatively few pedestrians about, other than people on their way to or from the paper shop, out exercising their dog, or simply talking a healthy early-morning stroll themselves -- it is almost obligatory to greet anyone whose path once crosses with brief eye-contact and a "g'morning!" Later, however, as people are hurrying to work and the roads become busier, spoken and direct visual contact tends to disappear.
> 
> In the evenings, as the number of people out and about falls, the reverse tends to happen and greetings return -- with the big difference, however, that many people appear more anxious in the evenings, especially the darker it gets (and the likelihood increases that a stranger may be the worse for drink!), and they may therefore try to avoid recognizing the other person's presence.
> 
> In lightly populated rural areas, greetings are more likely to take place all day long, and on the open road -- when you can see someone coming minutes before you meet -- then it would be most peculiar to pass someone by without at the very least a grunt.
> 
> My own theory is that this behaviour is "friendly signalling" to a stranger that one is not hostile. What an indictment it is, therefore, of how alienated life in the big cities has become that -- as has already been remarked above -- greeting (or even looking directly at) a stranger there is so often be regarded as an act of aggression.. :-(


 
Yes, it is unfortunate that greeting or looking directly at strangers has become regarded as an act of aggression, this is very true here.


----------



## Jacobtm

Not at all uncommon, even in NYC, though you have to catch the person's attention first, which is harder when you're 1 of x thousand people in sight.

I'm from the USA, but currently studying in México. I find that Mexicans are very open to not just smiling at people, but easily starting conversations with people on the basis of little more than an introductory smile. To me it's odd, but pleasant, that you can go from being strangers to exchanging good-bye kisses in the course of a few minutes.


----------



## xmarabout

In Belgium, it depends if you are in a city or in the countryside. In a city, it is not very common to smile or to say "hello" to somebody you don't know. In the countryside, usually, if you don't say "hello" to somebody (even somebody you don't know) you will be considered as rude or as a tourist.


----------



## pickarooney

Here (mid-size southern French city) it's not customary to smile at strangers, but I've noticed people (especially women) do it all the time when I'm with my kids. The smile seems to be used as a 'permission to look at your kid' gesture.

Or... the kids smile at them first and they return the smile and give me one out politeness.


----------



## SDLX Master

That doesn't really happen much here.
If a woman smiles at me my first guess is, "she's trying to hit on me" or "she's up to something". If a man does it, my first thought would be, "This guy is gay".
Of course, there are cases when a smile is definitely understood as a friendly sign, but they seldom occur.


----------



## curly

My experience seems to indicate that Irish people smile a little bit, but where we really shine seems to be in conversation. We'll strike up conversations complaining, joking, debating about anything. It's like the world is our television and whoever we're beside is our mate.

In places like Rouen people don't seem to mind smiling, and a polite Bonjour, or Merci if you step off the curb for someone. I find them polite and reasonably friendly but not to the point of starting a conversation.

In small villages it's impossible to get anywhere quickly, people you know all over the place, people going out of their way to be polite.

In short I generally find French people polite but not exactly friendly, and Irish people to be friendly but not always quite so polite 

Of course there are exceptions everywhere, people who don't like interaction or just having a bad day.


----------



## xyontheodore

If u are in Indonesia, you will see people often smile at you on the street, especially if you are a foreigner. I think we are courteous people. I myself will smile back if the person smiles at me. Sometimes I smile first. Smile doesnot cost you anything. A smile might cheer up somebody.


----------



## Cath.S.

xyontheodore said:


> If u are in Indonesia, you will see people often smile at you on the street, especially if you are a foreigner. I think we are courteous people. I myself will smile back if the person smiles at me. Sometimes I smile first. Smile doesnot cost you anything. A smile might cheer up somebody.


Your post made my day, Xyontheodore!
I envy you, I feel you are part of a civilized people, and I feel ashamed I am not, because what has been said about France is true, and a smile often (not always) draws a blank. When the person smiles back it is such a relief! 
Here is my smile from France, people!


----------



## Nicomon

Hello,

Montreal is a big and quite impersonal city - so I'd say that smiling at strangers isn't "the rule" - but I always smile back when someone smiles at me. 
And though I must admit that I don't do it often enough... I do smile first on occasion, too. 


Xyontheodore's post reminded me of that famous poem : *A smile costs nothing* 

And I like this quote :  Everyone smiles in the same language.


----------

