# Смириться с чем-либо



## MissChris

Hi all!

Is the phrase "смириться с этим" a decent translation of "get over it"? Like something a bit condescending, like you have no reason to be upset over something so you should just "get over it". 
I'm having a hard time with this one. 

Thanks guys and gals!


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## Enquiring Mind

Hi MissChris, that looks good to (non-native) me. The meaning of смириться is to get over, come to terms with, reconcile yourself to, deal with, accept, cope with, handle, etc. But wait for the natives; there are probably other ways of saying it in Russian too. 

Как смириться со смертью близкого - How to cope with the death of someone close. (source: psyvita.ru)
Как смириться с тем, что я некрасивая? - How can I cope with being ugly? (source: psychologies.ru)
Я не могу смириться с тем, что у любимого человека были девушки для развлечений. (source: pobedish.ru) I can't come to terms with the fact that the person I love went with good-time girls (hookers, prostitutes) 
(As always, various translation options are possible)


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## igusarov

Condescending tone doesn't help much here, because a good equivalent depends on the object. What is it you're going to get over? For example:

"get over some disease" = "выздороветь", "справиться с болезнью"
"get over some surprising idea" = "поверить", "взять в толк", etc.
"get over the tough times" = "пережить"

"Смириться с этим" has a _really strong_ connotation of "stop fighting it", "calm down and accept it as fact". After all, the literal translation is "come to peace with [some term]", which means that the person was not in a peaceful frame of mind. This phrase is best used in a situation where a person hotly and actively denies something. For example, sentences given by Enquiring Mind would sound perfectly fine in context: "No, he's not dead! I don't believe it happened! How do I make myself accept it?", "My ugliness had ruined my life so many times! Every minute do I think about it and I can't find any way out. How do I live with it?", "It is unthinkable that I just forget about his amorous adventures and keep loving him! But I do love him... How can I make both these feelings coexist in me without my head exploding?"

"Смириться с этим" could be said in a condescending manner, but only if you're talking about some hot issue.

If you were talking about something insignificant, something one shouldn't really be upset about, then it's not a good choice. Condescending or not.
If you want to say "get over something" in an indulgent manner in a context like "You think this is bad, don't you? My boy... Believe me, it's nothing. Everyone is having it. I've seen this many a time, and it always turned out right, eventually. You just keep going." Then you'd better opt for other phrases:

"Тебе нужно это просто* пережить*".
"Ничего страшного,* это пройдёт*".
"Тебе надо это* преодолеть*".



			
				James Herriot said:
			
		

> “Do you think he could be fretting for Jing?” Jack Sanders asked.
> “Yes, I do. They were such friends. He must feel lost.”
> “But *he’ll get over that* won’t he?”
> “Oh of course he will.”
> 
> -- А не тоскует ли он по Джингу,  как вам кажется?  --  спросил Джек Сэндерс.
> -- Вполне возможно. Они же были неразлучными друзьями. И  естественно, он тоскует.
> -- Но *это пройдет*, правда?
> -- Конечно.





			
				James Herriot said:
			
		

> “Oh I’m always at the doctor,” he replied dully. “I’m full of pills right now. He tells me I have a depression.”
> The word was like a mournful knell. Coming so soon after Paul it sent a wave of panic through me.
> “Have you ever had it before?”
> “No, never.” He wrung his hands and looked at the floor. “The doctor says that if I keep on taking the pills *I’ll get over it*, but I’m reaching the end of my tether now.”
> 
> -- Да я от него не выхожу, -- глухо  ответил Эндрю.  -- И  сейчас тоже наелся таблеток. Он говорит, что у меня депрессия.
> Слова эти прозвучали, как звон похоронного колокола. Всего неделю назад Поль, и вот... У меня по спине пробежала дрожь.
> -- А раньше у вас это бывало?
> --  Никогда. --  Он заломил руки и уставился  в пол. -- Доктор говорит, что  мне  надо  продолжать принимать таблетки  и * все пройдет*, но  я уже  на пределе.



Note: these translations are not word-precise. But they _feel natural_. It's how those dialogs would look, had they been written by natives.


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## Drink

By "condescending tone", I think MissChris had in mind a context such as the following: Jack has a dream of being accepted into Harvard. Jill says, "You will never be accepted into Harvard, Jack. *Get over it*."

While "смирись с этим" _could_ work, it does not have the same condescending tone.


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## igusarov

Drink said:


> By "condescending tone", I think MissChris had in mind a context such as the following: Jack has a dream of being accepted into Harvard. Jill says, "You will never be accepted into Harvard, Jack. *Get over it*."


I'm afraid, "смирись с этим" wouldn't be the most natural phrase to say in this context. It would give the impression that Jack tried to enter, failed, and is still trying. If dreaming is all he had actually done, then I'd say: "*Кончай мечтать*!" ("Over with those dreams!"), or something similar "Хоро́ш мечтать", "Заканчивай уже".


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## Drink

igusarov said:


> I'm afraid, "смирись с этим" wouldn't be the most natural phrase to say in this context. It would give the impression that Jack tried to enter, failed, and is still trying. If dreaming is all he had actually done, then I'd say: "*Кончай мечтать*!" ("Over with those dreams!"), or something similar "Хоро́ш мечтать", "Заканчивай уже".



That might be the right impression; I never said dreaming is _all_ that he was doing. But anyway, "смирись с этим" does not preserve the condescending tone; "Кончай мечтать!" does preserve the tone, but changes the meaning in way that is acceptable in this specific context, but may not be in other slightly different contexts that don't actually involve dreaming.


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## Boyar

Enquiring Mind said:


> The meaning of смириться is to get over, come to terms with, reconcile yourself to, deal with, accept, cope with, handle, etc.


Though each of the above verbs can be a good option to translate _смириться_ depending on the context, these verbs carry in their implied meaning the idea of actively dealing with something difficult. The Russian _смириться_, however, means giving up any idea of actively managing the situation. So, I think that _to put up with_ would be the closest English expression for смириться.


Enquiring Mind said:


> Как смириться с тем, что я некрасивая? - How can I cope with being ugly? (source: psychologies.ru)
> Я не могу смириться с тем, что у любимого человека были девушки для развлечений. (source: pobedish.ru) I can't come to terms with the fact that the person I love went with good-time girls (hookers, prostitutes)
> (As always, various translation options are possible)


The English phrases below are authentic examples of that verb (_to put up with_) used in the contexts similar to that of the Russian sentences in the quotation above:

_I am already going to have to *put up with* being ugly, a bad back and probably baldness, why add to it?_ (source)
_I told him that I couldn’t *put up with* him being with other girls._ (source)


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## MissChris

These are fabulous, everyone. I always forget something like this can have so many possibilities.

Let me try another explanation.

Say, for example, you lost a loved one - maybe a family member, a pet, whatever. And you're sad and moping around because of it then some ill-hearted soul who is tired of hearing about it comes to you and says something like, "Oh, just get over it, move on"!

That's more the tone that I'm looking for. Which best fits that kind of situation?


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## Ben Jamin

А.С. Пушкин. uses another word in his poem "Медный всадник":
Красуйся, град Петров, и стой
Неколебимо как Россия,
Да *умирится* же с тобой
И побежденная стихия;

Does  *умирит**ь**ся* mean here the same as *смириться*?


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## igusarov

MissChris said:


> Say, for example, you lost a loved one - maybe a family member, a pet, whatever. And you're sad and moping around because of it then some ill-hearted soul who is tired of hearing about it comes to you and says something like, "Oh, just get over it, move on"!
> 
> That's more the tone that I'm looking for. Which best fits that kind of situation?


"Смирись и живи дальше" - possible, but extremely formal.
"Забудь и живи дальше" - informal, indifferent, cold-hearted.
"Ну хватит уже! Сколько можно." - annoyed, almost rude.


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## Sobakus

Ben Jamin said:


> А.С. Пушкин. uses another word in his poem "Медный всадник":
> Красуйся, град Петров, и стой
> Неколебимо как Россия,
> Да *умирится* же с тобой
> И побежденная стихия;
> 
> Does  *умирит**ь**ся* mean here the same as *смириться*?



I would say it's used both as a higher style synonym to _помириться_ (since it has an object) and in the sense of _успокоиться_.


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## Thomas1

Here’s a definition and samples of “смириться” found at gramota.ru:


> *2.* с чем.
> Привыкнув, примириться с чем-л._ С. с мыслью о смерти. С. с судьбой. Невозможно с. с грубостью, хамством. С. с трудностями, с неудобствами._ < Смиряться, -яюсь, -яешься; нсв. Смирение (см.).


Would the following be good translations:_С__. __с_ _мыслью_ _о_ _смерти__. – accept, get used to/put up with the thought about death_
_С__. __с_ _судьбой__. – accept your fate_
_Невозможно_ _с__. __с_ _грубостью__, __хамством__. – It’s impossible to put up with/tolerate/stand boorishness, rudeness._
_С__. __с_ _трудностями__, __с_ _неудобствами__._ – _Accept/get used to/put up with/withstand difficulties/inconveniencies_​ 
Also, generally, would “помериться” be a closer equivalent of “dealt with/cope with/etc.”?


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## Sobakus

Thomas1 said:


> Also, generally, would “помириться” be a closer equivalent of “dealt with/cope with/etc.”?



Nope, that would be "to make peace, reconcile with smb".


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## Q-cumber

Ben Jamin said:


> А.С. Пушкин. uses another word in his poem "Медный всадник":
> Красуйся, град Петров, и стой
> Неколебимо как Россия,
> Да *умирится* же с тобой
> И побежденная стихия;
> 
> Does  *умирит**ь**ся* mean here the same as *смириться*?


Умириться here means to calm down, to stop fighting and so on. The word is quite outdated and hardly being used nowadays.


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## igusarov

MissChris said:


> Say, for example, you lost a loved one - maybe  a family member, a pet, whatever. And you're sad and moping around  because of it then some ill-hearted soul who is tired of hearing about  it comes to you and says something like, "Oh, just get over it, move  on"!


I've just realized it was possible to say: "*Перешагни и живи  дальше*".

"Перешагнуть" literally means "to step over something".  Like you're walking down a road and see some insignificant obstacle  blocking your way. So you just step over it and move along, not even  giving it a second thought. I think "перешагнуть" would not be on the  short list of words a native would have used in your context, what with  it not being used frequently in the figurative sense, but: a) it does a good job  in some set phrases with similar meaning; b) its literal meaning is  quite close to "get over"; c) it brings the air of disdain called for  by your context; d) it will be perfectly understood. So I thought I should let you know...

"Перешагнуть через страх"  = "To get over one's fears". With a strong connotation of "overcome".  To overcome the fears, to force myself to act as if the fears did not  exist".
"Перешагнуть оскорбление" = "To get over the insult". Get  over the anger caused by the insult, refrain from doing anything in  return.
"Перешагнуть через былое" = "To get over the past". To leave  the past behind, where it belongs. To stop the things and memories from  the past influencing one's current life.
"Перешагнуть через себя" =~  "To get over one's ideology (?)". To behave against one's own beliefs  and principles without readjusting them, but consciously sacrificing  them for the sake of some higher altruistic goal. Highly positive  connotation.
"Перешагнуть дружбу" = To betray a friend with the purpose of attaining some personal benefits. Extremely selfish connotation.


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## Soroka

_смириться, принять как данность, accept smth for what it is, take it as a given_


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