# Your nickname, do you consider it your "unalterable name"?



## heidita

Only recently I have had a little misunderstanding with another forer for not quoting her (I didn't know she was a she) nickname correctly. 

Is your nick important to you? Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly? Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?  

Our friend .,, comes into my mind. Some people write "dot and commas" which wouldn't be admitted really, would it?

Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


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## Rayines

Hi Heidita: first question: Not at all, you can quotate me every time you want, hehe, with my nick or without it. I myself sometimes forget to click in the same message I want to quotate, then the person's name doesn't appear. But we're here to learn, and I don't think it should be a matter to worry about.
Second question: It's a very personal, personal subject. I myself always prefer my gender, age and exact name to be known in the forums .
(And pay attention with your mails again  ).


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## Mate

heidita said:


> Is your nick important to you?
> 
> 
> 
> Yes it is.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Not at all, no.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Not in my view. I always do the same.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Our friend .,, comes into my mind. Some people write "dot and commas" which wouldn't be admitted really, would it?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Perhaps only .,, is entitled to answer this one. But I'm not sure about your question. Further clarification is needed.
> 
> 
> 
> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Perhaps they don't even think about that until someone addresses to them mistakenly. Perhaps they just omit to fill the box because they think it's irrelevant.
Click to expand...

 
Un saludo - Mate


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## Setwale_Charm

I do not mind, although, I guess, it is all strictly personal. My nick is too bulky and complex probably, that is why many people contract it.
 The question about gender is interesting though. I have only recently found out that one of our most active foreros whom I believed to be a male since the time I joined the forum, actually turned out to be a woman!!! Now this is interesting! I have often wondered whether the sex of a person can be detected through his or her writing. Would it be clear, for instance, that I am a female from the way I write without looking into my profile?


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## Lemminkäinen

heidita said:


> Is your nick important to you?



It's my identity at these forums, but it's not more important than I could change it if I'd have to.



> Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly? Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?



Not an insult, but a bit amusing sometimes. As for shortening, it's ok with me, though I usually don't do it (it's a pretty rare thing to do in Norwegian). 'Lemmi' is fine with me, but I'd advise people to keep it at that; 'Lemmin' means 'I make love' in Finnish  



> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?



If I'm going to refer to somebody with a personal pronoun, I'll usually check their profile. Sometimes it seems fairly evident (usually due to their nick name) and I won't bother, which is a risk I'm willing to take


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## xarruc

I think the sex of a forero is important, maybe it shouldn't be by sometimes my opinions of someone have changes upon finding out that they are a man, or a woman. Likewise age seems important. Sometimes you see someone aged 17 and think, "Oh well, they'll learn", or someone aged 50 and think, "they should know better."

I supose that the effect it has is based on our own prejudices. Of course the other forero could always be lying!


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## Setwale_Charm

xarruc said:


> I think the sex of a forero is important, maybe it shouldn't be by sometimes my opinions of someone have changes upon finding out that they are a man, or a woman. Likewise age seems important. Sometimes you see someone aged 17 and think, "Oh well, they'll learn", or someone aged 50 and think, "they should know better."
> 
> I supose that the effect it has is based on our own prejudices. Of course the other forero could always be lying!


 

 You are a terrible ageist and sexist, dear!!   This is precisely what I always struggle to avoid.


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## Mate

Setwale_Charm said:


> The question about gender is interesting though. I have only recently found out that one of our most active foreros whom I believed to be a male since the time I joined the forum, actually turned out to be a woman!!! Now this is interesting! I have often wondered whether the sex of a person can be detected through his or her writing. Would it be clear, for instance, that I am a female from the way I write without looking into my profile?


 
*If I were a moderator I would ask you to open another thread (kidding)*

Since I'm not a mod, here goes my reply: sometimes I feel sure about the poster's gender just by reading him or her. But it is just a feeling and it would take a certified clairvoyant to see the truth through the unfathomable cyberspace.


Cheers! - Mate


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## la reine victoria

You may call me anything you wish. (I'm sure some of you do!!!) 

I find it rather endearing that many people think my real name is Vicky.

I'm actually Laura.

The last time I looked I was still female.  

LRV


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## Setwale_Charm

Mateamargo said:


> *If I were a moderator I would ask you to open another thread (kidding)*
> 
> Since I'm not a mod, here goes my reply: sometimes I feel sure about the poster's gender just by reading him or her. But it is just a feeling and it would take a certified clairvoyant to see the truth through the unfathomable cyberspace.
> 
> 
> Cheers! - Mate


 
 And this is precisely what I am going to do!!
 So you are already a bit of a clairvoyant, Mate.


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## cuchuflete

Setwale_Charm said:


> Would it be clear, for instance, that I am a female from the way I write without looking into my profile?



Every post you write includes this:

			 				 				 					Join Date: Jul 2006
 					Location: moving around
 Native of: *Daughter* of the Misty Isles


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## Setwale_Charm

You cannot even imagine,cuchuflete, what a perverted world this is!!


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## GEmatt

> Is your nick important to you?


Not specially. It's mine, but actually I think it's more important (big word) to others.





> Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly?


Certainly not (although I don't see which part of 'GEmatt' is possible to get wrong).





> Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?


I don't know that there's any protocol on that, beyond what you see others doing, or what the forer in question has expressed a preference for.





> Our friend .,, comes into my mind. Some people write "dot and commas" which wouldn't be admitted really, would it?


I concur with Mate - that's for .,, to decide.





> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


Do they, generally? I've found that, in many cases, peoples' nicknames give some indication of gender. Where that's not the case and you really need to know, a quick profile check like Lemmi mentioned is usually sufficient. Those who have an ambiguous nickname, a neutral writing style, and who have not specified a gender in their profiles, are not in a strong position to expect anything from you, heidita.


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## cyanista

Setwale_Charm said:


> MY! Are people there really so ill-mannered?!!!



I remember that this remark of yours struck me as a particularly female response.


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## la reine victoria

Is it possible to deduce a person's gender from their writing style?  I'm thinking of Victorian female writers who used a male pseudonym.

Perhaps this is off topic.  Certainly not worthy of its own thread though.

LRV


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## pieanne

I don't mind having people know/guess my gender... (except when I don't want them to!    )

I think all the nicks I've ever taken are me, for one reason or another.
If you put them all together, you'd get my whole picture!


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## Etcetera

If someone calls me Etc., it's perfectly fine by me. 
I also like it when someone calls me by my "real" name - Anna. But I strongly dislike Russian pet names for Anna. You can call me Anita or Annie, and it'll be absolutely fine, but if'd call me Anya or Anechka... oh, better don't!
As for my gender, I'm perfectly satisfied with being a female, so I'd certainly correct anyone who would think me a male and address me as a male. But I'll do it in a polite way.


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Good questions.  And, nice to find you in the CD forum, Heidita!

*Is your nick important to you?*
Yeah, kind of.  Our usernames are like our identity in the forum, and according to our WR dictionary: *Identity* => _the individual characteristics by which a thing or person is recognized or known.  _I like what my nick says about me, so it's nice if others seem to respect that (alright, didn't _that_ sound stiff?  )  

*Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly?* 
Well, that's personal.  Everybody would surely have a different opinion, I think.  My nick is sort of long, so our mates tend to intentionally misquote it in order to make it shorter/try to be funny/both.  That I can take, with absolutely no problem.  No offense is taken, _au contraire_!  

But _sometimes,_ it can be _a little bit_ upsetting, as the time when a forera called me "_*Venezu*_*a*_*la*_" time and again -even though I corrected her a couple of times...    (a- It's Venezuela, and b- I'm not the country! )

Anyway...  I think every forero thinks differently about it.  There must be some psychological/philosophical reason behind that, I don't know.  Perhaps this discussion could enlighten us.

*Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?*
I do it all the time, Heidita.  If you're wrong, so am I.

*Our friend .,, comes into my mind. Some people write "dot and commas" which wouldn't be admitted really, would it?*
Well, I'm not Robert, but if it were about me, I think I'd take it.

*Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?*
Honestly, I don't know...  In my case, because it's on my profile (and in my speech, at least in Spanish).  No idea about those who don't show it.  Actually, it doesn't even make sense to me...


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## Setwale_Charm

Venezuelan_sweetie said:


> *Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?*
> Honestly, I don't know... In my case, because it's on my profile (and in my speech, at least in Spanish). No idea about those who don't show it. Actually, it doesn't even make sense to me...


 

 I would fancy having a male forero with a nickname like this.


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## Kajjo

heidita said:


> Only recently I have had a little misunderstanding with another forer for not quoting her nickname correctly.


Well, generally I believe that names should be honoured and spelled correctly. In "real life" my real name is often misspelled and I really dislike people for being so ignorant.

On the other side, seeing very weird, complicated and "non-namish" (?) nicknames I can only agree that such names need to be contracted. I try to spell and quote all of those nicknames correctly that appear to be a proper name, and I am more free with nicknames that are not like normal names. I suppose this is fine with most foreros here.



> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


I don't know. Personally, I prefer to know the gender, but obviously that is not possible. Many people intentionally choose nicknames that give no clue as to what sex they are and some even disable that information in their profile. 

I would not feel guilty as long as the gender was not clear from the nickname. Hey, this in the online world!

Kajjo


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Setwale_Charm said:


> I would fancy having a male forero with a nickname like this.


Believe it or not, SC, once I got a PM asking me whether I was a guy!    A specific guy, indeed (another forer's ex-, I think...)


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## Vanda

I have this habit of shortenning big nicknames or to use hypocoristics, (mainly adding a -inho/a to the name the Portuguese language way) and it is always an affectionate way of mine to address that person. 
If the person hasn't identified him/herself in his/her profile there is no point for him/her to be mad at people who change his/her gender.


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## Setwale_Charm

Kajjo said:


> Well, generally I believe that names should be honoured and spelled correctly. In "real life" my real name is often misspelled and I really dislike people for being so ignorant.


 
 I think, we (me, at least) are now dying to find out what name this is that is constantly misspelled.


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

Kajjo said:


> In "real life" my real name is often misspelled and I really dislike people for being so ignorant.


In "real life", people get my name wrong _*everyday*_, unless I spell it for the listener, letter by letter.

However, I can't blame them for that!  I can only blame my mother, for giving me this French/Russian/Spanish/Brazilian name...


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## pieanne

I must say I've sometimes been perfectly wrong in guessing the gender (or shouldn't I say "sex"?) of a few members here ... Basing on their nicks


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## Vanda

> Kajjo: I really dislike people for being so ignorant.


Gee, so I am ignorant! I don't know your language and how to spell your nickname, sorry.


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## Rayines

xarruc said:


> I think the sex of a forero is important, maybe it shouldn't be by sometimes my opinions of someone have changes upon finding out that they are a man, or a woman. Likewise age seems important.


Oh, but you don't seem to think it's the same for the others! (With regard to *your* gender and age, I mean )


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## Cereth

Why should I bother if someone thinks I am male or changes my name? of course I will give the right info about myself to the one that made the mistake....but come on getting mad because of that?..consider others as ignorant?...
Get a life and increase your frustration tolerance level.


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## xarruc

> Oh, but you don't seem to think it's the same for the others! (With regard to *your* gender and age, I mean )



I thought about putting it and decided not to. It's not that I mind people knowing, I just thought I'd let people find out over time through the forums rather than clciking on my profile.


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## Mate

Setwale_Charm said:


> I think, we (me, at least) are now dying to find out what name this is that is constantly misspelled.


And just for your tremendous curiosity everyone could tell your gender


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## .   1

The main reason for choosing .,, as my nickname is cultural. A part of my culture that is deeply old places terrific emphasis on what we now call nicknames and a traditional nickname is never self chosen but must be accepted.
The immutable problem for me in this area is that nobody knew me to give me a nickname before I had to tell you my nickname so I chose an unpronounceable nickname that was untranslatable and I have now been given about a dozen or so traditional nicknames allowing me to make contact with these people traditionally.

.,,


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## Stigmatas

I work in an area where the names dont denote gender. To be safe I always call them by their last name or in this case their forum name. That way you can never be confused. Sometimes I say " hey sir/maam" they will come back to you with the one that applies. For example: "i'm a maam"

I've been called stig, stiggy, stigmat, stigger,and stigma. I know they are talking to me. That means they feel comfortable enough to shorten my name. As long as its not something bad I wont complain.


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## agliagli

. said:


> nickname that was *untranslatable *and I have now been given about a dozen or so traditional nicknames allowing me to make contact with these people traditionally.
> .,,


 
It is not untranslatable... it is international!  

As for me... I do not really mind, since I really did not pay attention to it... just a mere functionnal "word" that helps me to find my posts and to know if someone refers to my messages. (which does not necessarily means "myself"...)

Consequently "gender" is not relevant to me... since I never ask myself it my posts are "masculine" or "feminine"...


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## heidita

Cereth said:


> Why should I bother if someone thinks I am male or changes my name? of course I will give the right info about myself to the one that made the mistake....*but come on getting mad because of that?*..consider others as ignorant?...
> Get a life and increase your frustration tolerance level.


 
I thought it was rather rude, actually, when it happened to me, that the person pointed out _with a very big female ending (in Spanish)_ that she was a she. I do not think this is important or relevant at all. I wouldn't mind at all to be mistaken , and if I was, I wouldn't make such a big deal out of it. I can see most of you agree. 

I am glad most people don't mind having their nick, which by no means I consider a _name_, is shortened. I do it all the time and it had never happened to me before that somebody pointed out so roughly "*this* is not my name, my name is *this one*". Very weird indeed. 
However can you consider your nick your_ name_? It is some sort of identification, but call it a _name_? It does strike me as unreal.


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## Rayines

> However can you consider your nick your_ name_? It is some sort of identification, but call it a _name_? It does strike me as unreal.


Not at all. Of course, after almost 3 years of "adiction", I can find myself thinking of me as Rayines , but actually I *love *knowing the true person's name, here in the forum, and of course out of it (where it isn't a question). Still something more: when I get some degree of confidence with some people here in the forum (yes, I know, it is a virtual one), I'd like very much to know their true names, and even their age (in those cases in which they don't show it).
But these are the rules of this hard task .
(Cannot be more explicit because of my poor English).


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## cuchuflete

Other people I know seem more attached to my forum name than I am.  I have a fair amount of contact with other foreros, especially fellow moderators, outside the forums.  This includes emails and phone calls.  Many of those people, with whom I've worked closely for a couple of years, seem to prefer my forum 'name' in one form or another to my real name.  So, as they have chosen to "give" me this name in the other reality, away from the forums, it would be rude to reject the offering.  At times it is still jarring, as I don't think of my non-cybernetic self as cuchuflete, but others do.

Of course the forum name gets abbreviated and misspelled all the time.  I don't give it a thought.  I even misspell the nick intentionally to 'fit' certain forums.  

Você acha?
até,
Qxu


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## ireney

To tell you the truth I am more bothered when people use my whole username  (the Y at the end should have been a capital and probably separated from the rest by a _  but never mind)

Someone told me quite recently that because of the "Y" (s)he thought I was a man. Due to my usernames in other forums I have been mistaken for a man before. I find it interesting (in the case of this forum's member; I learnt something after all) or amusing.

To make things a bit more cultural than personal, I love shortenning names and/or finding diminutives for them because that's what we do in Greece. Unless a person specifically says that he/she does not like diminutives, we shorten them and/or use diminutives as a matter of course.
To be exact, most people do not introduce themeselves by the "official" form of their names. 
I guess I carry this habit in the forums I frequent too and, if I feel comfortable enough with someone and his/her username permits it, I will shorten it.

What I am not very comfortable with (and this is also cultural) is initials. I would use e.g. V. Sweetie or possibly Venezuelan S, but never, ever "V.S." (apologies to Venezuelan Sweetie for taking her username as an example).


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## faranji

Cereth said:


> Why should I bother if someone thinks I am male or changes my name? of course I will give the right info about myself to the one that made the mistake....but come on getting mad because of that?..consider others as ignorant?...
> Get a life and increase your frustration tolerance level.


 
A-M-É-N.


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## xOoeL

I spent a lot of time choosing my nick, because it had to meet several requirements:
1.- It had to have a meaning for me, but not for the others.
2.- It had to be short.
3.- It had to be unpronounceable or had several possible pronounciations.
4.- It had to be new on Internet (A Google search should return no results).

That's why I care to quote que nicks completely and with capital letters if necessary.  "SrRdRaCinG" is the worst one for me in that sense.

But I'm not going to get angry if someone doesn't quote my nick properly.  Most of the people in this forum are nice, and don't intend to hurt when they change other people's nicks.  What is more, I would be really pleased of being re-baptized with a different nick by each one of my new friends.

With regards to sex, I don't mind if they "confuse" my sex.  Really, we all are humans and this is not a "love chat".  I was a bit surprised when someone thought that I was what I wasn't, but that was funny.  Nobody has call me "guapa" before that day .

I'm sorry.  I whis I were more fluent in English to be able to express what I thing in a better way.


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## .   1

ireney said:


> To tell you the truth I am more bothered when people use my whole username  (the Y at the end should have been a capital and probably separated from the rest by a _ but never mind)


Does your name really have no intentional reference to 'irony'?  This would be almost unbelievably ironic.

.,,


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## Setwale_Charm

My nickname does reflect "ME" in a way since it originates from a game on words in which my true name is concealed.
 I would not like everybody on the forum to know my real name but this is eventually no great problem. 
  This way it both gives you some privacy and yet reflects your inner self at the same time.


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## TRG

My name here is just 3 letters that I arrived at in the most unimaginative way possible. Looking back, I wish I would have chosen ABC, or XYZ, or maybe SOB because I know some think of me that way. As for gender, I never really think about it even though I have a sort of awareness of whether I'm communicating with male or female. It doesn't matter, really.
In the real world I am very conscience of knowing other people's names and being able to address them by their first name when I see them. I hate it when I forget.


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## Grefsen

heidita said:


> Is your nick important to you?


I just registered here a little over an hour ago and have to admit that I gave very little thought at all to the nickname I am using here.  Since I just took a trip to Norway three months ago, I decided to choose the district in Oslo where I was living as my nickname.  



heidita said:


> Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly? Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?



I have been posting to a number of different message boards over the past six years and have used several different nicknames/usernames/screen names and on many occasions they have been shortened or incorrectly quoted and this has never been a concern of mine.


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## Athaulf

ireney said:


> Someone told me quite recently that because of the "Y" (s)he thought I was a man. Due to my usernames in other forums I have been mistaken for a man before. I find it interesting (in the case of this forum's member; I learnt something after all) or amusing.



Actually, where I come from, Ireney (locally spelled _Irinej_/_Иринеј_) is a fairly common name for Orthodox priests, and I'm sure it's similar in some other parts of the world too.  Thus, your nickname will make some people imagine a bearded guy in a black robe at the first moment.


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## Victoria32

Setwale_Charm said:


> I do not mind, although, I guess, it is all strictly personal. My nick is too bulky and complex probably, that is why many people contract it.
> The question about gender is interesting though. I have only recently found out that one of our most active foreros whom I believed to be a male since the time I joined the forum, actually turned out to be a woman!!! Now this is interesting! I have often wondered whether the sex of a person can be detected through his or her writing. Would it be clear, for instance, that I am a female from the way I write without looking into my profile?


Ah, Setwale Charm - the only problem I have with your nick, is that when I read I speak the words in my mind - I am an aural learner, and I never know how to pronounce your name! Does your first name have two syllables or three? 

This* is* my name now - I use it on three boards or four at least, and I write regularly to maybe six people I met here or on one of the other places, so despite my email being clearly different, I am Vicky to these people! 

My problem is that Vicky in some Romance languages does not seem to indicate that I am a woman... (whereas LRV can confirm that in English it is very feminine...) 

I like being Vicky for so many reasons - the first is that when I chose it for the first site in May 2006, I considered Nike, because I wanted to convey that I had beaten a particular person by not giving a tinker's about his asinine behaviour. So that's one reason.
The other main one is that I hate my given name with a passion that is purpler than a very purple thing, to misquote Blackadder... 

*I am woman hear me roar!*

Vicky


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## cuchuflete

Setwale_Charm said:


> My nickname does reflect "ME" in a way since it originates from a game on words in which my true name is concealed.
> I would not like everybody on the forum to know my real name but this is eventually no great problem.
> This way it both gives you some privacy and yet reflects your inner self at the same time.


A few random anagrams on the nickname:

TREACLE WHAMS
CREMATE SHAWL
WARMEST leach
MEALS WATCHER
Camel Wreaths
Calmer Swathe
Wealth's Cream
Clam Weathers


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## winklepicker

Ever-so-slightly off topically, I changed my avatar from a picture of myself aged 17 with shoulder-length hair* to a pic of a person picking out a winkle. I had to, really, after I had a few slightly over-intimate PMs from chaps who obviously thought I was a girl!

_*This was a VERY long time ago: now I'm grateful for any hair at all..._


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## Setwale_Charm

cuchuflete said:


> A few random anagrams on the nickname:
> 
> TREACLE WHAMS
> CREMATE SHAWL
> WARMEST leach
> MEALS WATCHER
> Camel Wreaths
> Calmer Swathe
> Wealth's Cream
> Clam Weathers


 
   
My!! You did quite a job at investigating the possibilities!! However, you still missed it, sir! The connection is not anagrammatic, it is hidden in the meaning.



Victoria32 said:


> Does your first name have two syllables or three?


 ['set`weil]


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## danielfranco

I've been called so many things in my life, even by people I care about, that cyberpeople (or is it better to call them virtual people?) can call me anything at all and change my nick around all they want, and I won't feel any less myself.
Although, with such a plain-Jane nick, what else is there to do but shorten it or make it into pet-names (Danny, Danielito, Dan-chan)?
I think it'd be a silly day for me the day I get bothered by someone abusing my nick.

And (a bit tangentially, he said defensively), I've never published my age in these forumses because I think the one hang-up we can actually find fairly often going on in these forums is "ageism", you know?


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## .   1

danielfranco said:


> And (a bit tangentially, he said defensively), I've never published my age in these forumses because I think the one hang-up we can actually find fairly often going on in these forums is "ageism", you know?


OK I won't tell on you but I have a pretty educated guess and I may be universally wrong but a person who has perused more than a few and less than an obsession of your contributions to this forum should be irrevocably drawn to the conclusion that your tertiary educational experiences do not seem to be an absolutely extremely distant memory.
Ageists are no better than sexists or any other type of bigot. Are you really bothered by a few old fools?

.,,


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## danielfranco

If by tertiary educational experiences you mean undergrad college, right you are! [Give the man a cigar] My first college semester wasn't even a mere twenty years ago!! 
But it was mentioned before in an earlier post (I'm sorry I don't remember if it was even mentioned in this same thread) that some people think that you might be too young and therefore pre-judge you as inexperienced, or you might be too old so that you'd be pre-judged as too juvenile ("he ought to know better" was the very nice phrase used).
So, in my case, why give people more ammunition, when I make such an attractive target already?


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## Hockey13

Setwale_Charm said:


> I do not mind, although, I guess, it is all strictly personal. My nick is too bulky and complex probably, that is why many people contract it.
> The question about gender is interesting though. I have only recently found out that one of our most active foreros whom I believed to be a male since the time I joined the forum, actually turned out to be a woman!!! Now this is interesting! I have often wondered whether the sex of a person can be detected through his or her writing. Would it be clear, for instance, that I am a female from the way I write without looking into my profile?


 
I haven't yet read the rest of the thread, but I just encountered this gem. When I read the post, the first thing I thought of regarding gender was Setwale Charm. For the longest time I thought she was a he for no particular reason other than perhaps the colors of your avatar. I'm struggling to figure out why I assumed she was male...not quite getting it. I actually figured between 20 and 30 male.  What is wrong with me?


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## Lombard Beige

Well my nickname is inspired by my real name.

Lombard refers to the Longobard people. just as my name "Frank" refers to the Frankish people, but as someone (not me) objected to the role of the Franks in European history, I adopted Lombard, as I live in Lombardy. 

I adopted Beige, because my real surname is Rossi, which means Reds. Someone objected politically. The opposite in Italian would be Neri (= Blacks), which means Right Wing, rather than clerical, as in the German-speaking countries. So Beige should be OK for everybody.

Also, Rossi is rather awkward for me, as it is very typically Italian, and I don't feel typically Italian, as only two of my grandparents were Italian, and my grandfather was italian by just six years. Otherwise he would have been, like Giuseppe Verdi, a citizen of the Duchy of Parma and Piacenza. Also, my grandfather never learned Italian and preferred French, as he lived in Paris.

Lastly, to be clear, I am not anti-Italian. Some of my best friends are Italians and my 2 daughters married Italians, as did my son. My granchildren are also Italians, but we have maintained a very international spirit in my family and everyone speaks 4 languages, Spanish, English, Italian and French, more or less competently. My grandchildren are learning.

Hoping the above is not too chatty and personal.

regards


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## Hockey13

My nickname is important to me in the sense that hockey is important to me: I don't expect other people to care about it, but there it is, the thing I love to do and the thing that calms me down when I am very stressed out. I expect everybody has a hobby, and this is mine. In fact, I just played some hockey earlier tonight (which is why I'm up so late..ahem.."doing homework") and I'm dead tired and I love that feeling. We won 5-4 on a goal in the last second (literally!!).

I have about 10 different usernames around the internet, and this is not my home-base one, though that one also has 13, because that was my number in high school hockey (I have the injuries to prove it was my number as well!).

I find it odd when people call me "Hockey13" because the 13 is mostly meaningless to me. 90% of the people on these forums call me Hockey. The other 10% change it to something like "Hoc" or "Hocke" because they are probably unaware of the sport as it usually requires a lot of cold and a lot of money (or just a lot of money) which doesn't exist everywhere in the world....or it is called something else in their language.

With reference to Kajjo (I believe it was Kajjo...please forgive me if I get it wrong), *my name is Jan and I live in the United States*, so I have it pretty bad, but I usually don't get angry with people. I get embarassed often for this reason: In this country, "Jan", pronounced as any apple pie American would pronounce it, is a shortened version of Janet. On the first day of any class, the role call was my ultimate fear because I would be singled out. Initially I got angry with the teachers and called them idiots in my head, but they are simply ignorant of the pronunciation. It is not their fault. I have heard every Jan joke in the book and I'm not particularly fond of my name at all, even though people never, ever forget it...which is useful now I'm finishing college. I also have a uniqueness, which is quite possibly the ultimate way to _score chicks_ (please excuse the collegeness that just bursts at every seam).

I would _very much prefer_ it if people called me Gianni because it's the Italian name that I have officially latched on to and several people in this country who I know from Italian-related things know me _only_ as Gianni, but feel weird introducing me as anything to other people.

With regard to the offshoot topic about age, I am not ashamed to display the fact that I am 21, turning 22 on 3/3. I have never understood why people wish to hide their age as if they were something else, so that is something I don't understand on this forum. Would you rather be experienced or young? Out in the real world, as a young person, my opinion is not always considered worthwhile, but I have rarely encountered an issue of ageism on this forum, especially not from our more respected users. At the same time, people who are 60 know more about the evolution of English, for example, than I do, but conversely, they probably know a lot less about current slang and trends than I do. It's a two-way street that is paved with respect...and possibly asphalt.

Anyway...sorry if this is a bit long-winded. Practically everyone here must know by now that I'm a wordy bastard. I should have been born in Moscow in 1814 and written tremendously long books to stave off the long, long winters. Or I should just start writing less.


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## Nunty

I don't mind at all being called the Nun or Nun-T , and I imagine I wouldn't mind if someone called me Nunty-Dunty. If someone chooses to believe that I am a guy who chooses to be called Nun, well... I lived in Hollywood once. I won't be too shocked.

I do have the habit of shortening names, in real life and in the forums. I mean it as an affectionate gesture in many cases; in others, it's just because the name is too long. It never actually occurred to me that someone would be offended if I shortened their screen name. Strikes me as a tad over-identified.


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## xarruc

Has anyone experimented with this possible web discrimination in this way, either here or elsewhere on the net, by using alternative nicks with different ages or sexes, or even different religions, occupations and so on?


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## Etcetera

xarruc said:


> Has anyone experimented with this possible web discrimination in this way, either here or elsewhere on the net, by using alternative nicks with different ages or sexes, or even different religions, occupations and so on?


I, no.
But I've noticed that in Russia, when a person's sex isn't clear, the pesron would be more likely thought to be a male.


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## Sallyb36

I don't care what people call me, and my nickname is my first name anyway and the initial of my surname and the age I was when i had my first e-mail address.  I rarely think about whether the person is male or female as it doesn't matter to me at all.


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## Etcetera

Sallyb36 said:


> I rarely think about whether the person is male or female as it doesn't matter to me at all.


You English are lucky.
In Russian, it's sometimes very difficult to talk with a person if you don't know their sex.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Moderator Note:  This thread already contains many posts that would normally be deleted as chat.  Here are Heidita's original questions.  If we cannot stay more or less within their parameters, the thread will be closed.



heidita said:


> Is your nick important to you? Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly?
> 
> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


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## RIU

heidita said:


> Is your nick important to you?


 
No.



heidita said:


> Do you think it is an insult if somebody doesn't quote it correctly?


 
No.



heidita said:


> Some nicks are really difficult to quote, I usually shorten them. Am I wrong?


 
No, I think.




heidita said:


> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


 
Are people really expecting? Nobody has asked me for mine... huuuuum... I'm an ignored forero...!!!???  Uf! Must I ask for it to my childrens' pediatrician?


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## heidita

Nun-Translator said:


> I do have the habit of shortening names, in real life and in the forums. I mean it as an affectionate gesture in many cases; in others, it's just because the name is too long. It never actually occurred to me that someone would be offended if I shortened their screen name. Strikes me as a tad over-identified.


 
That's exactly why I have opened this thread. I thought it might be taken as an affectionate gesture and certainly never as a insult. Or as being impolite.


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## CrazyArcher

Is my nick important to me? Well, kinda... Not that I have any special spiritual connection to it, but there's a story behind it, and it's my net alias.
I don't mind if people shorten it to 'Archy', 'Crazy', or just 'CA', as long as everyone understands who is who.
As for gender.. No one has ever mistaken me for a female, AFAIR


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## Venezuelan_sweetie

ireney said:


> What I am not very comfortable with (and this is also cultural) is initials. I would use e.g. V. Sweetie or possibly Venezuelan S, but never, ever "V.S." (apologies to Venezuelan Sweetie for taking her username as an example).


No problem, nita.  Didn't I just say I don't give a dang? 

I've been called Sweetie V., V. Sweet (your words are my commands! ),Venezweetie (odd!), Ms Sweet, Señora Dulce, Doña Sweetie, Venezuelan, Ms VS, Dulce de Venezuela (sounds yummy!  ), and even once -in Spanish- "Hey, aren't you that Venezuelan chick, who just posted in my thread on XYZ?"    Call me whatever you want, as long as it still expresses somewhat the same idea than my nick...


Setwale_Charm said:


> I would not like everybody on the forum to know my real name but this is eventually no great problem.
> This way it both gives you some privacy and yet reflects your inner self at the same time.


I concur.  Although, I invariably keep my real name for real life contact, thank you.


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## rodoke

I dunno.  Both my real name and my nickname (pronounced [*ˈro*dəˌki])  seem to be "un-shorten-able".  All the standard English diminutives turn them into completely different names.

Or maybe I just lurk too much.


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## Setwale_Charm

Hockey13 said:


> I haven't yet read the rest of the thread, but I just encountered this gem. When I read the post, the first thing I thought of regarding gender was Setwale Charm. For the longest time I thought she was a he for no particular reason other than perhaps the colors of your avatar. I'm struggling to figure out why I assumed she was male...not quite getting it. I actually figured between 20 and 30 male.  What is wrong with me?


 
You are not alone, see here http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?p=2249880#post2249880. (grimly) these recent threads have driven me to make sure of the presence of certain "nature-given" details and they convince me I am a deceptive personality in the eyes of many. The age is a very close guess though.
But I have been increasingly using this nickname in diffeent circumstances since it is so nicely connected to my name, my family background and the history of Devon (hence the flag). I think, it is becoming part of me. I used to choose different Polynesian words and names and later the word Profesora - this is how my Latin American students addressed me, so I guess, your choice very much depends on what currently surrounds you in your life. Polynesia is no longer here, nor is university work


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## Juna Frato

Hi,

It would be relative to the person and context, wouldn't it? 
The way in which you would react on not quoting your nick (and which nick) correctly would be the same as you react to anything else. 

To illustrate:
I have so many different nicks (what with MSN, Skype, forums, professional use, games, etc), for different uses; my reaction to someone misusing my name in a game, would be different than the one to a colleague consistently misusing it for 5 years.



> Another question is why do people expect others to know their gender?


 
Dunno, maybe it's just wishful thinking? What if an opportunity arises to flirt anonymously with someone? Or what if you feel you can confide in one gender, but not the other?

I guess people need to categorize, whether it's gender, race, geographical location, or football club.
Since human beings are a socially advanced species, we need to belong with 1 or several groups, in order not to be alone. This is essential for the long term mental well-being of any person
(even 'loners' and 'outsiders' know they are part of the 'loners' or outsiders' group).
This is such an automatic reflex, that we don't even realise it whilst doing it. 
It is a fact that in order to establish what is right, you have to be able to establish what is wrong.

On applying that to this context, you get:
In order to find out to which group you want to belong, you need to know to which one you DON'T want to belong.

Or, you can disagree, lol.


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## Philippa

heidita said:


> I am glad most people don't mind having their nick, which by no means I consider a _name_, is shortened. I do it all the time and it had never happened to me before that somebody pointed out so roughly "*this* is not my name, my name is *this one*". Very weird indeed.
> However can you consider your nick your_ name_? It is some sort of identification, but call it a _name_? It does strike me as unreal.


heidita, I'm not the only one whose WR nick _is_ their name! If someone shortened it to something I don't like (it's not happened here, but it does in 'real life') then I would let them know (but I wouldn't be especially annoyed!)


cuchuflete said:


> Other people I know seem more attached to my forum name than I am.  I have a fair amount of contact with other foreros, especially fellow moderators, outside the forums.  This includes emails and phone calls.  Many of those people, with whom I've worked closely for a couple of years, seem to prefer my forum 'name' in one form or another to my real name.  So, as they have chosen to "give" me this name in the other reality, away from the forums, it would be rude to reject the offering.  At times it is still jarring, as I don't think of my non-cybernetic self as cuchuflete, but others do.


I don't think this is really that surprising - you have many (how many thousands is it?!) posts that all say 'cuchuflete' in big letters and you don't use your real name at all in the open forums.
Based on what I said earlier, if people try to call me versions of Philippa that I don't like, I do 'reject their offering'!
Saludos
Philippa


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