# aimer / aimer bien (quelqu'un)  - je t'aime / je t'aime bien



## une Américaine à Paris

So I've read all the posts on "je t'aime" vs. "je t'aime bien," "je t'aime beaucoup," and "je t'adore".... and I get that "je t'aime + adverb" can be a way to respond no to "tu m'aimes?" or to laisser tomber quelqu'un.  Or that the other person can take it to mean that your feelings are not forever.

 What is difficult is that in the U.S., if you're dating someone, you might say something like "I really like you" way before you'd say "I love you," but it doesn't necessarily mean anything other than that you're just not yet at the "love" stage of the relationship.

 So my question is, what can you say in French in this case without connoting that your feelings are temporary or otherwise giving the other person a negative impression?  Is "je t'aime bien/beaucoup" a bad choice?

*Moderator note*: Multiple threads merged to create this one. This thread is about _aimer (bien)_ with people, romantic or not.  For impersonal/inanimate usage, please see aimer / aimer bien (qqch).  For comparison of  other expressions used with people, please see  je t'adore / je t'aime / je t'aime beaucoup.


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## carolineR

une Américaine à Paris said:
			
		

> Is "je t'aime bien/beaucoup" a bad choice?


No, I would say it's appropriate, even if it does mean that you don't love the person in question ... So you could add "mais je ne t'aime pas encore. ça viendra peut-être ?" (with a nice smile)This of course if you want hope to spring eternal...


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## anangelaway

mmm, if the person's aim is to try to win your heart, he may interpret it slightly differently : _she likes me as she likes the other guy and other friends right there._ 
Again, if you say _"je t'aime beaucoup',_ yes, we are getting there, there could be a hope for him. It is quite subtle in a sense that this person would interpret it as ''she really likes me', 'she likes to be with me', etc... But, sometimes someone would use it to send a different message (between the lines) as in 'I do not like you _this way'_ = I really do like you, but I'm not in love with you. 
But now, if there is a 'yet' in the equation, you need to send a message, and give him hope that one day you may fall in love with him. 
So, I would suggest simply 'je t'adore', 'je me sens super bien avec toi', 'tu suis heureuse de t'avoir rencontrer', 'tu es fascinant', etc... Those examples, to me, means 'I really likes you' and do not send the 'wrong' message.


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## KaRiNe_Fr

Hi Une Américaine à Paris, and welcome on this WR forum. 
My advice is: don't use the word "aimer" if you don't want any misunderstanding. When you will get the appropriate intonation, you should use it to express you are not in love (je t'aime bien, mais...) or you are (Je t'aime. -- full stop).


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## Vassilissa

I'd say "je t'aime beaucoup" or "je t'adore"


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## jonesy101

If a girl said to a boy "je t'aime bien" what does this translate to in english


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## GaelleF

It means, "I like you" then


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## olithegreat

Je t'aime bien : I like you
Je t'aime: I Love you
[...]


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## LadyM1st

My boyfriend is French and he's the sweetest guy in the world, except he never says romantic things too often (it's just not what he does apparently hehe).

Anyway, after a short conversation about his coldness in that respect, he told me for the first time "mais non! Je t'aime bien"... is this more like 'Je t'aime' in its proper sense, i.e. "I love you", or is it more "I really like you"? (I don't mind either way!)

Just curious, hehe!

Thanks in advance! xx

(edited cause I made a spelling error - silly me!  )


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## Conchita57

I'd say 'je t'aime bien' is a shy version of 'je t'aime'.  Mind you, it can also mean 'I really like you', as you suggested.


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## BERENICE S

Hello,

I think you understood it well:

Je t'aime = I love you
Je t'aime bien = I like you

B.


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## PatouPatou

I agree.. When I say "je t'aime bien", I mean "I only like you very much"....


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## MmeSouci

Hi

'Je t'aime bien' means litterally 'I like you'.
It's mostly used between friends, but in your case, it might just be that your boyfriend is too shy to say simply 'I love you'.

Be patient


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## jocose

hello i have a letter ending in   "je t'aime bein"   ilove you bein? what is bein ??? hope some can help thanks


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## Alphatradien1

Apparently, there is a typing error.

You should read "je t'aime *bien*".

It means "I like you" - just friendship, not love.


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## alisonp

It should be 'bien'.  It modifies 'aimer' towards something a bit more platonic, I would say, but do ask the native speakers, because it's a tricky issue.


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## jdgamble

J'ai deux questions qui n'est pas en relation.

[...]

2.) What is the difference between "j t'aime, j t'aime bien". Such a general question I know. Someone in french told me once that if I am talking about a friend in general, I say "je t'aime bien" and if I am talking about a love I say "je t'aime"... which seems backwards to me.

Ces deux questions m'avaient tracassé.
Merci,


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## Monsieur Hoole

jdgamble said:


> 2.) What is the difference between "j t'aime, j t'aime bien". Such a general question I know. Someone in french told me once that if I am talking about a friend in general, I say "je t'aime bien" and if I am talking about a love I say "je t'aime"... which seems backwards to me.
> 
> Ces deux questions m'avaient tracassé.
> Merci,


 
[...]

M.H.


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## Wopsy

I saw a great line in a film once. A girl said to a guy 'Tu sais que je t'aime bien', and he replied 'Je ne veux pas que tu m'aimes bien, je veux que tu m'aimes'.


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## mando_ally

Je t'aime
Je t'aime bien

..is there a difference in meaning there?


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## risou14

Oui effectivement, dans ce cas précis. Je t'aime bien est moins fort.


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## Zsanna

French not being my mother tongue, I can only rely on dictionaries and impressions - so please correct me if I'm wrong! - but I feel that "Je t'aime bien" can also indicate something like this: "it's not as if I did not like you, on the contrary..."

[...]


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## Micia93

[...]

"je t'aime bien" = I like you, you're nice, but it's not a very deep feeling ; you can say it to a person you're knowing for a few days, to show her that you feel sympathy towards her, that's all
you can't say that to your best friend, for instance
is it cleare for you ?


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## no_cre0

Pourquoi est-ce que le "bien" dans l'expression "aimer bien" n'amplifie pas le verbe aimer? Au contraire,"'aimer bien" est moins fort que "aimer". Par exemple, si je dis "je t'aime", ça veut dire "I love you"; pourtant si je dis "je t'aime bien" c'est plus sur le chemin de "I like you".


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## janpol

pourquoi ? C'est ainsi. Si un garçon dit "je t'aime" à une jeune fille et si elle répond  "je t'aime bien", il est clair qu'elle ne souhaite pas dépasser le stade de la simple camaraderie...


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## wildan1

no cre0, you have to say _je t'aime beaucoup_ (ou même _à la folie)--_there will be no confusion about your intentions.


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## no_cre0

Confusion of intention doesn't have anything to do with it. I was asking if there was a particular reason why "bien" actually makes "aimer" weaker instead of stronger as one would assume it would do. It seems counter-logical and I was simply wondering if there was a reason or if it was just one of those things.


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## wildan1

no_cre0 said:


> Confusion of intention doesn't have anything to do with it. I was asking if there was a particular reason why "bien" actually makes "aimer" weaker instead of stronger as one would assume it would do. It seems counter-logical and I was simply wondering if there was a reason or if it was just one of those things.


 
There is a similar lessening of intensity with_ vouloir bien_

_Je veux que tu viennes avec moi - I want you to come with me_
_Je veux bien que tu viennes avec moi - I don't mind if you come with me_ (but I don't care if you don't)
_Je veux vraiment que tu viennes avec moi - I really want you to come with me._


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## SP4ever

This might be an even more annoying question, but then what is the French word for `to like`?


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## ascoltate

"aimer" - or "aimer bien" if you want to insist on the _liking_ rather than _loving_...


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## sun-and-happiness

J'ai lu sur un livre à moi que les jeunes Français ne utilisent plus "très" et "beaucoup", mais "trop, grave, trop grave". Alors une phrase comme: _je t'aime beaucoup_ devient _je t'aime trop grave_. 
Alors l'ordre est: je t'aime= I love you (for your partner), je t'aime beaucoup= I like you very much (for friends and relatives) and je t'adore (for friends). But what about this new one, je t'aime trop grave? A-t-il le même sens de je t'aime beaucoup? Merci bien à tous!


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## ManuelleBDR

"je t'aime" pour les amoureux
"je t'aime beaucoup" pour les très bons amis
"je t'adore" pour les amis, intimes, la famille

"je t'aime trop grave" pour les amoureux, n'a pas le même sens que "je t'aime beaucoup", c'est une expression d'ados (15 ans maxi), supposé être un peu plus cool que "je t'aime à la folie" ^^


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## GerardM

Funny/A pity this topic that began in Decedmber 2005...

Well, I would like to put foreigners' mind at rest about this.
I agree with what was written by French people and especially by ManuelleBDR

but

If you've said one of the "poor" expressions to your French boy/girlfriend, don't worry as everything is *in the tone* and we can hear when words come from the heart or not.
When written, it comes *from the context*.

I don't have the exact reference but an English-speaking member suggested above, that after a long relationship, we could say _Je t'aime beaucoup_ or _je t'adore_: true and true if the tone is here!

No worries!


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## ManuelleBDR

Mon petit ami préfère "je t'aime beaucoup"  pour lui, c'est plus intense 

Comme le dit si bien ipl_001, tout dépend de l'intonation, du contexte


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## GracePYT

So *Je t'aime bien* does not insinuate anything more than simply friendship?


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## DearPrudence

GracePYT said:


> So *Je t'aime bien* does not insinuate anything more than simply friendship?


 Exactly. Your boyfriend won't be happy if you only tell him "je t'aime bien"


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## Jessila

Well I agree with what has been said before for most cases but I suppose that there can always be some exceptions... 
Such as the beginning of a flirtatious relationship, said with a certain tone of voice "je t'aime bien" might suggest that the person is starting to feel an inclination for the other


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## GracePYT

Jessila said:


> Well I agree with what has been said before for most cases but I suppose that there can always be some exceptions...
> Such as the beginning of a flirtatious relationship, said with a certain tone of voice "je t'aime bien" might suggest that the person is starting to feel an inclination for the other



Oh good!!  Thanks Jessila!


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## Arian84

Que Signifie "Je t'aime bien"? Il m'a dit"Arian,je t'aime bien,on va se revoir,je suis très fatiguée en ce moment,je ne sais pas pourquoi"Que Signifie "je t'aime bien" à votre avis ici?
Je dois dire que c'est le début de notre relation


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## Micia93

welcome Arian 

it means he appreciates you, but he's too tired for the moment and will see you later


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## Arian84

Micia93 said:


> welcome Arian
> 
> it means he appreciates you, but he's too tired for the moment and will see you later




Thanks for your answer,It doesn't have a bad meaning?Like he wants to stay friend and not in love?Because I read bad things about but also good things


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## Micia93

to be honest, it is not true or passionate love, but it remains affectionate friendship. After all, it's a beginning of what might become a deep love!
strange that you hear bad things about "je t'aime bien"! it can't be bad anyway, but of my course, if my husband would say to me "je t'aime bien", I would feel it rough!


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## Arian84

I have heard it means "like" and it's opposite to love,I've read also this:


Indeed, "Je t'aime bien" is also a way of saying "but I'll nevere, ever, love you". To say "I love you", you'd rather use "Je ne te hais point."



But this also:I suppose that there can always be some exceptions... 
Such as the beginning of a flirtatious relationship, said with a certain tone of voice "je t'aime bien" might suggest that the person is starting to feel an inclination for the other


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## DearPrudence

Arian84 said:


> I have heard it means "like" and it's opposite to love,I've read also this:
> 
> 
> Indeed, "Je t'aime bien" is also a way of saying "but I'll nevere, ever, love you". To say "I love you", you'd rather use "Je ne te hais point."


Do I need to say I don't agree with this?
Of course, "je t'aime bien" is rather for friendship, but at the beginning of a relationship, it can still evolve later. It doesn't necessarily mean "I will never ever love you."
As to "je ne te hais point", in French classes, we learnt this phrase as a example of a "litote". It is an extract from_ le Cid_ (XVIIe siècle).
But nowadays, we would never use it seriously to say "I love you" to our love ones!


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## Arian84

Thank you,I had become so despair,now I'm positive,and I look forward to hear more from him,I became so anxoius and send him messeges to answer me what he meant,he didn't answer me,but now I'm comfortable 

People despair me,what do you think?

on dit pas je "t'aime bien" à une fille dont on est sensé être amoureux. on dit "je t'aime" ou on dit rien! on "aime bien" son pc, son cheval au bled, son chien...
la femme soit on l'aime soit on l'aime pas

salam,
tu devrais changer de mec
"je t'aime bien" ça veut dire que t'es gentille, que t'es cool quoi
Rien a voir avec l'amour lol


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## Icetrance

Micia93 said:


> to be honest, it is not true or passionate love, but it remains affectionate friendship. After all, it's a beginning of what might become a deep love!
> strange that you hear bad things about "je t'aime bien"! it can't be bad anyway, but of my course, if my husband would say to me "je t'aime bien", I would feel it rough!



I've heard women say about their husbands: _Je l'aime bien, mais...._
You certainly wouldn't translate it as "like".  They're still loving their husbands, but things at the moment aren't so great. lol

Non-native speakers of French often believe that "_bien aimer_" automatically means "to like" in reference to a person.  That's not always true.  It is the context that will clarify this. It's not that hard usually when you know the situation at hand. And if French people really want to make it clear that they're talking about genuine love, they can say "_aimer d'amour_". Then we know for sure.

Using the "_bien_" with "_aimer"_ in regards to a person does indeed temper the love in the case of love (not necessarily a negative thing); also, it can bring things down from love to more of a like (girlfriend says to a new boyfriend after a few months). Context is everything.


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## Kecha

Icetrance said:


> I've heard women say about their husbands: _Je l'aime bien, mais...._
> You certainly wouldn't translate it as "like".  They're still loving their husbands, but things at the moment aren't so great. lol


hm I disagree. If she was saying "I still love him", well, she'd say it : je l'aime toujours, mais / je suis toujours amoureuse, mais...

Saying "je l'aime bien, mais" sounds more like, she still has affection because of the long history, but the love/amoureux feeling have kind of petered out... I mean, "aimer bien" can evolve into "aimer" at the start of a relationship, but if "aimer" evolves into (more like "shrinks back to") "aimer bien", it's a sign that it might be the end ...

When I say "Je t'aime bien, mais" to my boyfriend, I'm usually not making any statement about the state of my feelings for him, I'm just annoyed at something he did, or didn't do. Like "Tu es gentil, mais" does not really mean he's nice, or not nice. It's just a thing to say before making a comment...


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## DearPrudence

Kecha said:


> When I say "Je t'aime bien, mais" to my boyfriend, I'm usually not making any statement about the state of my feelings for him, I'm just annoyed at something he did, or didn't do. Like "Tu es gentil, mais" does not really mean he's nice, or not nice. It's just a thing to say before making a comment...


I completely agree with you, Kecha. That was my thought exactly and I would have also mentioned "Tu es gentil, mais...".


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## Mak54291

When I like someone and not love that someone I say: Je t'apprécie. 

Larousse sur apprécier:


> Estimer quelqu'un, quelque chose, en faire cas, lui reconnaître du mérite, des qualités ; aimer, goûter : Apprécier un écrivain.


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## Icetrance

There are different levels of love, for sure.  I can still love my husband but not be "in love" with my husband. If I get divorced after 25 years of marriage after having raised three kids together, chances are good that I still have some love for him, even if I cannot stand him anymore. lol. Now,  even if this husband didn't something terrible, there still be a little bit of love left.

Although not romantic love, I cannot help but think of of sign held up by French people after the death of Abbé Pierre. The sign read: _On t'aimait bien.  _That clearly means, _"You were loved."  _You surely wouldn't hold up a sign in English which said "_We liked you_" (you could do, but it would sound a little awkward lol).  The _bien _is simply there to create distance and make it sound that it's not the kind of love love you'd have for a family member, close friend, etc. But, in any case, it's still a kind of love, or a deep affection masquerading as love.

At any rate, the distinction between "love" and "like" is not always clear.  There is superficial love; there is mitigated love after a long marriage, etc. You really have to know the context to translate it correctly. Once you know the context well, it is really common sense as to what the translation will be.


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## Nicomon

Icetrance said:


> The sign read: _*On t'aimait bien*. _That clearly means, _*"You were loved.*" _You surely wouldn't hold up a sign in English which said "_We liked you_" (you could do, but it would sound a little awkward)


   I agree, for this specific context.   Just as I did in this old thread : on t'aimait bien



Mak54291 said:


> When I like someone and not love that someone I say: Je t'apprécie.


  I find that pretty cold though.  Not something I'd like to hear from anyone other than my boss.  À choisir, je préfère :  _je t'aime bien. _


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