# "Aunt" and "Uncle" for non-relatives



## Orreaga

This has come up indirectly in other discussions, but I haven't found a thread dedicated to this specifically.

How common is it where you live, or grew up, to use the words "Aunt" or "Uncle" (or their equivalents in other languages) with friends of the family who are not related?  

Where I grew up, in the Northeast U.S., it was (and is, I think) common for parents to refer to their friends as "Aunt ____" and "Uncle _____" with their children, who then call them by those names.  We never used just the words "aunt" and "uncle" alone (common in Latin America and U.S. Hispanic culture), but always with the first name of the person, as in "Uncle Frank" and "Aunt Katherine."  A friend of mine from Ohio is puzzled when I talk about these aunts and uncles, thinking that those terms are reserved only for sisters and brothers of one's parents.  I'm trying to get a sense of how "normal" it is both in the U.S. and elsewhere.


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## katie_here

Here in England, we do refer to some people as "aunt" and "uncle" even though they are not directly related to our parents.  It's usually done as a polite thing.  My favourite was Aunty June, who sadly is no longer with us.  She was my favourite aunt, but she wasn't related at all.  I only ever had one Granny growing up, but she was the mother-in-law of my Mothers Brother and so not directly related to me. 


Nowadays, however, kids are frequently calling their real Aunts and Uncles by their first name only.   I would have liked to have been known as Aunty Katrina, but my nephews parents never insisted on it and so they won't call me by it.  I insist on my kids using Aunt and Uncle when referring to them.


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## JamesM

My experience is the same as Orreaga's and katie_here's.  My children call close friends of the family "aunt" (or "auntie") and "uncle".   I wouldn't have them call close friends "Mr. X" or simply "X".  The title is an honorary one.  They are very aware that these are not blood relatives, but in many cases they are much more involved with our family than any of my siblings or my wife's brother.  These are the people who have been at their birthday parties, who come to their concerts and graduations, and who are over at the house on a regular basis.  I think it's completely normal.


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## aleCcowaN

Yes, I'm in Argentina and I have an aunt that is not genetically related to me, or my in-law, but she is truly my aunt and in any occasion her family convene I'm a part of it (This made me remember I haven't phoned her in almost a month, me, unfaithful nephew!) . I had another aunt and a grandma that are no longer with us. 

This was the rule here, but in recent years this kind of "aunthood" and "unclehood" is going a little devalued as unstable couple relationships became more common and divorced people increasingly tell their children to call "aunt" or "uncle" their girl/boyfriend of the season. Children quickly learn to not being so fond of these prosthetic aunts and uncles.


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## alexacohen

My experience is exactly the same as yours, Orreaga, Katie, James. 

Close friends of my mum and dad were our beloved aunts and uncles; and many times we loved them more than the very blood relatives we should have loved.

They are, now, my children and my sisters' children aunties and uncles. One of them is even _el abuelo Pepe_.

It is a common situation in Spain. Or at least in the part of Spain where I grew up.


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## Kibramoa

My experience in Mexico and here in the U.S. is very similar as that described in the above posts.

My parents' brothers and sisters lived far away from us, in a different region of the country. I grew up in Mexico with "extra" aunts and uncles.  We still meet with them and are dear to us as our blood aunts and uncles.  I would even called their children "cousins" --still do.

Here in the U.S. several of my friends' kids call me auntie: I do go to their concerts, T-ball games, birthday parties, etc.


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## Nunty

In Israel it is very common for parents to refer to other adults as "aunt" or "uncle" when speaking to their children, even for strangers. You might hear on the bus "Come sit on my lap so the aunty can sit down", for example, or "Here, take this paper and give it to the uncle sitting over there" in a public office.

The children, however, do not normally then call these people "aunt" or "uncle".

Young men sometimes call older women they don't know "aunt". This most usually happens in a shop. (The first time a shopkeeper asked me, "Yes, Aunt, what would you like?" I looked around to see whom he was addressing.) 

I have the impression that this usage is falling away, though.


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## Paulfromitaly

That happens in Italy too: my best friends' little kids may call me "uncle Paul" even though I'm not related to them.
We also use the terms "uncle" and "aunt" for our parents aunts and uncles.


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## Loob

I deduce from Orreaga's post 1 that, as a mature adult, he still calls family friends "Aunt/Uncle so-and-so".

I think that would be unusual in the UK. I stopped using "Aunty"/"Uncle" even for _real_ aunts and uncles somewhere around the age of 18; my one-and-only nephew did the same.


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## mirx

This in unknown to me in México.

My aunts and uncles are my mother's and father's siblings and their respective spoueses, anyone outside that circle is just John or Mary, it is common though, for parents to refer to "uncle B" when speaking to their baby children, but most children never call them auntie or uncle, or stop immediately after they realized that they are not related.

This might have an explanation, family in México is very important and usually uncles and aunts play the role that "good friends" do in other cultures.


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## katie_here

Loob said:


> I deduce from Orreaga's post 1 that, as a mature adult, he still calls family friends "Aunt/Uncle so-and-so".
> 
> I think that would be unusual in the UK. I stopped using "Aunty"/"Uncle" even for _real_ aunts and uncles somewhere around the age of 18; my one-and-only nephew did the same.


 
I still do it.   I always feel odd when my auntie signs my birthday card "Alma"  she's my auntie Alma.  All the aunties and uncles I grew up with calling "auntie and uncle" it seems disrespectful somehow to drop it now.  Even growing up and calling my best friends' aunts and uncles, I still refer to them in the same way.


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## Chaska Ñawi

I've only seen it on the English side of my family, where we had several honorary aunts and uncles.  Otherwise, not in this part of Canada, where most adults go by their first name at all times.

In Newfoundland, elders in the outports acquire the Aunt and Uncle as honorifics.  Anybody over fifty is Uncle this and Aunt that.


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## Outsider

Orreaga said:


> How common is it where you live, or grew up, to use the words "Aunt" or "Uncle" (or their equivalents in other languages) with friends of the family who are not related?
> 
> Where I grew up, in the Northeast U.S., it was (and is, I think) common for parents to refer to their friends as "Aunt ____" and "Uncle _____" with their children, who then call them by those names.  We never used just the words "aunt" and "uncle" alone (common in Latin America and U.S. Hispanic culture), but always with the first name of the person, as in "Uncle Frank" and "Aunt Katherine."


As a kind of joke between parents, little children and their friends, this is common in Portuguese, too.

In other languages there is a different thing: a tradition of addressing strangers as "uncle" and "aunt", even among adults.

Another thing that is common in Portugal, at least in some regions, is to address _your parents'_ uncles, aunts and cousins as "uncle", "aunt" and "cousin".


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## Wynn Mathieson

In England and Wales when I was growing up (40+ years ago!) it was normal for children to address and refer to unrelated close adult friends of one's parents as "Auntie  A.", "Uncle B.".  (They had to be real _friends_ of the family, though:  those who were simply adult neighbours were called "Mr or Mrs _surname_".) Godparents, too, were called Auntie and Uncle.

For a child to address or refer to _any_ adult by their first name alone was, in fact, considered extremely rude -- something which has altered over time: children now commonly copy their parents' use of first names for non-related adult friends and neighbours.



Loob said:


> I deduce from Orreaga's post 1 that, as a mature adult, he still calls family friends "Aunt/Uncle so-and-so".
> 
> I think that would be unusual in the UK. I stopped using "Aunty"/"Uncle" even for _real_ aunts and uncles somewhere around the age of 18; my one-and-only nephew did the same.



I, too, gradually stopped using "Auntie" and "Uncle" in _addressing_ my aunts and uncles (both related and "honorary") after becoming an adult myself, but within the family  we all go on _referring_ to these people as Auntie X. and Uncle Y.

Wynn


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## WAMORZINHO

Here in Brasil, teenagers used to call their friends parents of 'tio' uncle.
And the best friend of sister or cousin.
As Nun-translator said, here the parents used to say to kids that their friend are their uncle or aunt.


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## gotitadeleche

When I was growing up we were expected to address all non-related adults as Mr. or Mrs. Last Name. My parents' siblings were called aunt and uncle, as well as the siblings of my grandparents. As an adult I continue to address my aunts and uncles by Aunt First Name or Uncle First Name. And the nephews on my ex-husband's side of the family still address me as Aunt, as do my own nephews. I think my nephews call their parents' close friends by their first names.  

I used to have a Native American friend and in his culture older men and women, who were not related, especially if they were close friends of the family, were addressed as Grandmother or Grandfather.


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## Bilma

This is very common in Mexico too. I remember having many "extra" aunts and uncles.


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## bb008

Hola

En Venezuela se utilizan esos términos solo para designar a los parientes (hermanos de padre y madre).

No, es utilizado como lo hacen en España, sin embargo en dos o tres oportunidades escuché decirle una persona a otra que no eran precisamente parientes "Tío" y eso me sorprendió, cuando eso sucede en Venezuela o acabas de llegar de España o te estas copiando de algún programa español, de resto estos términos son utilizados para los familiares nada más.


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## Orreaga

Loob said:


> I deduce from Orreaga's post 1 that, as a mature adult, he still calls family friends "Aunt/Uncle so-and-so".
> 
> I think that would be unusual in the UK. I stopped using "Aunty"/"Uncle" even for _real_ aunts and uncles somewhere around the age of 18; my one-and-only nephew did the same.


Now that you mention it, it does seem a bit ridiculous, but it's true, at 45 I still use the prefixes "Aunt" and "Uncle" with them, and I'm sure I always will, it just seems like an irrevocable part of their names.  My "real" nephew still insists on calling me "Uncle" (he's adopted the local custom of calling me "tío"), even though he's now 30 and I invited him to drop the title years ago. I felt the title put some distance between us, and I wanted him to consider me a "friend" rather than an uncle, but I think "Uncle" still implies a special relationship.


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## sokol

This is done in Austria too, with close friends of the parents even if not related it may happen that the children call them "aunt" and "uncle"; but I would say that it is not _very _common - myself I only had "would-be aunts & uncles" (that is, boy-friends and girl-friends not yet married - and in some cases never-to-be-married - to the brothers and sisters of my parents).


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## Gwan

It happens here as well. Not only do I have a set of non-related 'Aunt' and 'Uncle', but I have much-older cousins (old enough to be my parents) who I have always called 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' as well. And continue to do so even as an adult. Any other non-relatives and non-close-family-friends were always 'Mr' and Mrs' Last Name. Now that I'm an adult, obviously, I refer to them by first name, although I still feel weird calling my best friend's parents anything other than Mr and Mrs - I've known them since I was about 9 years old!


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## macta123

very common in India


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## jinti

I think that in the US, having honorary aunts and uncles is a nice way of acknowledging a close relationship with the family.

When my best friend had her baby, my first question was _can I be Aunt Jinti?_  (OK, maybe not my first question, but it was up there....).  And that's what I am.  I am also _Auntie_ to another friend's children.  And my mom's best friend from childhood has always been my "aunt", too.

I don't use _aunt_ and _uncle_ (or other terms for relatives) to refer to strangers -- it seems like false intimacy in my culture, though I understand that it may be respectful in others.


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## emma42

Common in Britain.  I had around three "aunties", who were close friends of my mum's.  Also, some much older second cousins were referred to as "aunty".  It would have seemed disrespectful not to, and felt natural.

I have an aunty who is nearly 80, who asks me to call her by her first name, but I don't want to!  I want to call her "Aunty XXX" (I know, funny name for an aunty).


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## Grux

Hello,
In some rural areas of Spain it is used followed by the first name as a friendly way to refer to the elder people in the village or town, e.g, "Tio Paco" (Uncle Paco),  "Tia Laura" (Aunt Laura), even though there isn't a very close relationship with your family. 

I think it was more frequent before, nowadays it's getting lost, but on the other hand, the words "tío" and "tía" are used now in a colloquial way with the meaning of "guy" and...what is the female of guy?


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## shaloo

Hello Everybody 

Its simpler in India, I believe.
We address our blood relatives as Aunt/Uncle in our mother tongue (me in Telugu) and everybody outside our family circle (mom and dad's friends/spouses, parent-aged neighbours) is Aunt/Uncle. 

If the person is very very close, equal to a sibling of my mom or dad, they will be Aunt/Uncle in my mother tongue but its generally rare in India because we have closely knit families and in large numbers at that  (So, we always have more number of blood related people around us for any occasion). 

Another distinction - Grandfather/Grandmother aged person outside my family will be addressed Grandfather/Grandmother in one's mother tongue again.


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## Orpington

In the UK it is also quite common to have non-related 'cousins', i.e. the children of unrelated 'aunties' and 'uncles'.


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## Dom Casmurro

This is extremely common in Brazil, to the point of being even predictable for the children to address any grownup by aunt and uncle, whoever the grownup is and no matter how close they are to each other. Also it is very common - and almost universal - for kids in primary schools to call their lady teachers 'tia' before their proper names. Children are encouraged to use the aunt/uncle 'title' because this is seen as cute and polite.


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## shaloo

Dom Casmurro said:


> This is extremely common in Brazil, to the point of being even predictable for the children to address any grownup by aunt and uncle, whoever the grownup is and no matter how close they are to each other.


That sounds new to me because some I heard most people in the west address strangers as Sir/Ma'am, even if they're aged.



Dom Casmurro said:


> Also it is very common - and almost universal - for kids in primary schools to call their lady teachers 'tia' before their proper names. Children are encouraged to use the aunt/uncle 'title' because this is seen as cute and polite.


Yeah... that is indeed cute and polite.


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## June Apple

In China, it's more than common for children to call grownups "aunt" (阿姨) or "uncle" (叔叔). In fact, they simply won't use the equivalent of "sir" or "madam". Chinese is not exactly my mother tongue but my parents', and for a long time, I even thought that there were no other words to say it. Adults would also use it as a mark of respect to elders. Also, you would call "grand mother" (奶奶) and "grand father" (爷爷) any elderly people, especially the very old, no matter your age.

(Actually, it's a bit complicated, as there several words for aunts, uncles and grand-parents, depending on which side of the family they are from, but I won't go into specifics )


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## magic88

I am in Canada and, although I am Chinese, my parents were born here and they cannot speak Chinese. The few close friends that my parents have had since I was born I have called Auntie or Uncle.


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## Trisia

In Romania,

Men aren't called "uncle ____" unless they really are related to you. I think this hasn't always been the case: in older stories, the main character always addresses elderly men and women as "little uncle" or "little aunt." In fact, in stories, a word for "old man" is "uncheaş" (little uncle).

Most of the female friends of one's parents are called "tanti." I can only suppose it comes from the French "tante" (aunt). In fact, you'll often hear children call you "tanti," whether they know you or not.


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## astlanda

According to my experience it is the similar case at least in Estonia, Finnland, Russia, Poland, China and Korea.


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## Jocaste

As for in France, I call Aunt and Uncle my parents' siblings but also their spouses. As for my parents' friends, they might be very close friends, as long as they are not "part" of the family, regarding blood or marriages, they are not called Aunt and Uncle (but maybe some other people in France do differently).
Concercing Aunt and Uncle, in French, those two words Tante et Oncle sound pretty formal to me. I have never called my aunts and uncles like this. But rather Tatie et Tonton, two colloquial words which are rather used by children, and sound very loving I think.

As a personal opinion, I consider as aunts and uncles people I love. I mean, regarding my aunts and uncles' spouses. A few weeks ago, my dad's brother, my uncle thus, died. His wife, who I didn't especially like but who I didn't hate at all, is now more my aunt than previously. Those circumstances clearly made me change my mind. And I think that circumstances might be a reason for which some people call their parents' friends aunts and uncles.


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## Cheesee = Madness

Chaska Ñawi said:


> I've only seen it on the English side of my family, where we had several honorary aunts and uncles.  Otherwise, not in this part of Canada, where most adults go by their first name at all times.
> 
> In Newfoundland, elders in the outports acquire the Aunt and Uncle as honorifics.  Anybody over fifty is Uncle this and Aunt that.



Though I have never called anyone who is not a blood relative Aunt or Uncle many people (however, I cannot say it is the majority mode of address) on my side of Canada do call their close family friends Aunt/Uncle.


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## Cabeza tuna

In Chile that is very common, even the little kids tell to their teachers, aunt or uncle.


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## betfry

I used to have an "Aunty Vi" (who wasn't actually my aunty) but I didn't call her husband "Uncle..."
However, I also have an aunt and uncle that I never called "aunty" or "uncle" anything.
Interestingly...
I used to call my Great-aunt "garnie" and my great-uncle "guncle"!


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## kalamazoo

In Turkey it used to be normal politeness (maybe still is) to address any slightly older female stranger as "maternal aunt" and any more or less same age male as "brother."  Older men might be called "maternal uncle".  These are all polite terms.


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## rogelio

It's very common in the southeastern US.  I had "aunts" and "uncles" of different ages and races when I was growing up.


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## winegrower

Same here, in Greece. It is very common to call uncle/aunt (θείο/θεία), not only friends of the family, but also unknown people, as long as they are of a certain age and look/behalf friendly. Especially in small villages kids call uncles and aunts just about anybody. This usage is less common in big cities, since parents always warn their kids about not talking to strangers.
It is not exactly an honorary title, but rather a friendly appellative.


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## susanna76

Here in Romania we use "mătuşă" (aunt) for an old lady! It's also used to refer to a distant relative, for instance a second cousin of the child's mother -- which I guess is a sort of aunt anyway. We don't seem to use "aunt" for someone not related to the family (might happen, but I'm not aware of it).

You'll hear "aunt" a lot in the villages to refer to old ladies. Does it happen in your part of the world?


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## almufadado

In Portugal in the old days , as kids we went to the football (soccer) matches without ticket, not needing them as we were underage but in need of a supervisor, so we asked any person who was in the row to enter the stadium - "Uncle", take me in with you, say you are my uncle!", and we all went to see the game.

Also, when an old man is dating a young girl, there is this joke/cover up, as it is/was not considered proper, that they are "the uncle and his niece". (o tio e a sobrinha)

To a middle age woman, for example the mother of a close friend, a nanny, we call her "Aunt" or "Aunty" to make her feel like family. (tia, tiazinha)

To a older woman, in close relation/affinity, we call her "Grand-mother" or "grand-ma" to make her feel like family. (avó, vó)


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## Slavianophil

In Russian, children usually call any grown-up man 'uncle' and grown-up woman 'aunt', no matter whether they are relatives, friends of the family or complete strangers. I remember when I was about five I believed that 'woman' was a rude word, at least in the mouth of a child, and always said 'aunt' instead.

Uncle (dyadya) and aunt (tyotya) may be used both with and without the person's first name. Valentina Leontyeva who anchored a very popular evening programme for kids was known as 'Tyotya Valya' (Aunt Val) to the whole country. 

But this adress is rather informal, so at school children never call their teachers 'aunt' or 'uncle'.

As Russian has a lot of emotional suffixes, adding them to the words 'dyadya' and 'tyotya' may make these words sound more affectionate (dyadenka, tyotenka, dyadyushka, tyotushka, etc.) or rude (dyadka, tyotka).


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## maxx

as _bb008_ said , in Spain we use also "tío"/"tía" (uncle/aunt) for non relatives , with the meaning: "guy" , ( informal  speech).


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## Rover_KE

The children of my daughter's friends here in England call her *'Auntie Kay'*.

When she lived in the USA some of her friends' children called her *'Miss Kay'* - which we all thought was an elegant compromise between the forename 'Kay' and the formal 'Miss Surname' when she is clearly not their aunt.

We were impressed by that solution to the perennial question of how your children should address your adult friends.

Rover


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## jonmaz

In Australia the practice is much the same as described by the majority in this discussion.   I have always thought it to be more respectful than using given names and less formal than using Mr and Mrs  (or Ms now; whatever that means!).


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## Encolpius

Hello, using uncle and auntie (bácsi - néni) is *extremely common* in *Hungarian*, more common than in other languages. *Children *can say: doktor bácsi (uncle doctor), doktor néni (auntie doctor), rendőr bácsi (uncle policeman), and you can use it with any profession, of course with any name: Pista bácsi (uncle Steve), Kati néni (auntie Kitty). When speaking to children we say sentences like: Ma megyünk a doktor nénihez. ["Today we are going to Auntie Doctor"], and I miss that in the Czech republic very much. I wonder if other nations use "auntie doctor", too, but I doubt it.


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## slowik

In Poland we sometimes call such uncles/aunts 'przyszywany wujek/przyszywana ciocia' - 'fastened uncle/aunt'


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## marco_2

slowik said:


> In Poland we sometimes call such uncles/aunts 'przyszywany wujek/przyszywana ciocia' - 'fastened uncle/aunt'


 
Yes, but we address them _ciocia / wujek _(using the vocative form, although some children use the nominative, which I, personally, don't like). On the other hand, when the age gap isn't very big, even real nieces and nephews address their aunts and uncles using their first names.


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## kalamazoo

I think "Miss Kay" for adults is something that is regional in the US.  Growing up in California, I never heard of such a thing, but in Maryland it was considered the polite way for a child to address an adult that they know.


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## JamesM

kalamazoo said:


> I think "Miss Kay" for adults is something that is regional in the US. Growing up in California, I never heard of such a thing, but in Maryland it was considered the polite way for a child to address an adult that they know.


 

I've also heard that it's common in Texas.  I didn't hear it growing up in California, either, but my child's pre-school teacher was called "Miss Carol" and all the staff used "Miss" in front of their first names with the children.  In general conversation, though, I haven't really heard it, even from children.


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