# If you want to



## adexx

Hello, 

When I want to say "If you want to (do something) ~", I'll normally say something like V-したければ or V-したい（の）なら, or V-したかったら.
Is this common and natural in everyday conversation? Somehow I feel that it is not very polite...
Also, is there any difference in nuance/politeness among those 3?

Tks


----------



## frequency

adexx said:


> Is this common and natural in everyday conversation?


Yes. したければ might be a bit more formal.
To be honest, they sound all the same to me. But let's wait for the second opinion.


----------



## SoLaTiDoberman

All the three are plain expressions. Therefore, they may not sounds polite.
I think that the levels of politeness of the three are almost or completely the same.


The polite versions would be:

V-なさりたいのでしたら、
V-されるのでしたら、
V-したいと思いなさるのなら、
etc.


----------



## karlalou

adexx said:


> When I want to say "If you want to (do something) ~", I'll normally say something like V-したければ or V-したい（の）なら, or V-したかったら.
> Is this common and natural in everyday conversation? Somehow I feel that it is not very polite...


I see that the use of たい for other's personal matter makes it casual and usually only for family and friends. There might be some occasions that you need to say these to someone you have to pay a respect to, but you want to choose other ways of saying it as much as possible, for example, by saying it as "_If you don't mind_" such as (もし)よかったら or よろしかったら (a little more formal), or 差し支えないようでしたら (politer). Or maybe you can say そういうことでしたら、～.


----------



## Flaminius

You don't need _-tai_ to say, "If you want" (a direct reference to the desire of someone with social clouts can be impolite). I suggest using the terminal non-past form.  It being non-past encompasses the future desire and intentions.  A likely advert of a credit card is:
買い物するなら、●●カード

I am slightly unsure how exactly you want to use this construction.  Is there a specific sentence in which you want to use it?


----------



## adexx

Thank you everyone!
Yes I always feel the use of -たい( or, -てほしい) to talk about others seem a little casual, considering how Japanese tend to avoid talking directly about other's wishes or emotions etc. That's why I'm checking if it is really "not polite", or only "slightly casual"...



Flaminius said:


> I am slightly unsure how exactly you want to use this construction.  Is there a specific sentence in which you want to use it?


Hmm I don't have a specific sentence I was thinking about in the first place, but to come up with some examples now:
- If you want to drink anything, pls don't hesitate to ask that lady.
- If you want him to call you first, at least tell him so.
- If you like a different color, I can help change this one for you.

I feel that I want to actually say the word "want/like" in these situations. How would you say it in these cases?


----------



## Flaminius

Well, たいなら, たければ, たかったら are just slightly casual.  The problem is that honorific forms such as ご検討なさりたいのでしたら are not very frequent.  If I need to politely address some's wishes, I would probably use the plain honorific forms as in ご検討になるのでしたら.

Also, Japanese has alternative constructions due to its tendency "to avoid talking directly about other's wishes or emotions."  Of your three examples, all but the first one can use an alternative:
一番先に呼んでもらった方がよければ
違う色がよければ (or よろしければ to make it politer)


----------



## adexx

Thank you.
How about that 1st example?
Or something like, "If you like to drink bubble tea, I know a good place"


----------



## Flaminius

You can say:
パールミルクティーが飲みたいなら、おすすめの場所があります。
The accusative _-o_ for _-ga_ works too but it will make the subject, which is the listener, more apparent and make the sentence sound slightly more oafish.

It works without たい:
パールミルクティーを飲むなら

It works without the verb too:
パールミルクティーなら、


----------



## adexx

Thank you, I see.
Although, パールミルクティーを飲むなら sounds too general right? 
While パールミルクティーが飲みたいなら sounds like you are specifically talking about what the listener wants.
But I guess this is also a culture thing, so maybe I'll try to say it like this


----------



## the Little Bear

I think したかったら is not very polite, but not rude.


----------

