# regards [rude closing?]



## Packard

*Context:*

For the longest time I sent e-mails using the same format as I would with snail mail.  That meant for a salutation I would write "Dear Jack", and for the closing salutation I would write "Regards, Packard".

I took a lot of heat from co-workers for the "Dear Jack", so I've shortened it to simply "Jack,".

But I still close out the e-mail with "Regards, Packard".

Co-workers are now telling me that "Regards" is rude.

*Question:*

Is there any possible reason to conclude that "regards" is rude?  I think my co-workers are either pulling my leg (but they are not clever enough to try) or they are nuts (a possibility).


----------



## Majorbloodnock

I don't think it's rude, but it does come across as a little abrupt, both on an email and in a letter. Perhaps it's the shortness of the word, but it appears to have a hint of finality about it that doesn't invite further discussion.

I would use it in just that sense; if I was cross with someone, but needed to maintain a professional politeness. If I wanted to remain fairly formal, but still appear approachable, I would use "kind regards" or "best regards" in preference.

Any closing remark less formal than this will, I think, speak for itself, since you don't usually use informal language with someone you're putting in their place.


----------



## Copyright

Well, I just looked up email in the search box and didn't find anything relevant -- which probably means I need a different search term -- so I'll just say that... *Of course it's not rude!* You work with some strange people.

Politeness shouldn't go out of fashion just because we're in the electronic age. Endings that I see and occasionally use are:
_Best regards
Kind regards
Regards
Best
Cheers
Thanks
Thank you
_
(The last two, where appropriate.) It all depends on the situation and the person and your relationship. I do prefer _Best regards _to simply _Regards_, which I find a bit short -- but not rude.


----------



## liliput

_Regards_ is standard for emails as far as I'm concerned. although for a more formal one I might say "best regards" or "kind regards" or "warm regards" or similar. However, I've never  known it to be used for snail mail - this would be "yours sincerely" or "yours faithfully" for formal letters.


----------



## Packard

Thinking back, I believe that "Yours truly" was my standard closing for snail mail.  But that sounds a bit much in an e-mail.  Many times e-mails arrive to me with just the writer's name at the end and no closing salutation.


----------



## liliput

Maybe your co-workers find it too coldly formal rather than overly familiar. I've known some people sign off emails with "all the best".


----------



## Packard

I just questioned one of them and she said it sounds "mechanical"; like something a robot would say.  (Rude robots; what next?)


----------



## Cypherpunk

This came up in a discussion at work a while back. I know several people who find _regards_ quite insulting. They see it as an abrupt, insincere form of _Best regards, Kind regards_, and _Warmest regards_, as though you have regarded someone in some light, but you don't wish to _state_ how you regard them. In other words, you _don't_ wish them _kind _regards, so you're simply saying 'regards' in order to be civil. This turned in to a quite heated discussion, and several people said they would question the person's desire to work with the team, if they received emails with this salutation.


----------



## Packard

Kind of like when I tell people to "Have a day".  (It's not my place to tell them what kind of day to have.)

I would not have thought of it in those terms.  That, of course is the contention of my coworkers.  I will have to think on this for a while.


----------



## soccergal

When e-mail was new and exciting, I composed my business messages as I would any formal writing.  People complained to my manager that I was rude, so I understand your dilemma.  Personally, I think "regards" is as appropriate as any closing. (Are you being truthful when you say YOURS truly?)  Nowadays, I just sign off with my initials when communicating with friends and co-workers, and use "sincerely" when I do need to be formal.


----------



## AngelEyes

Just last night, I wrote a formal e-mail and ended it with _Regards_.

Never for a minute have I viewed it as rude, abrupt, or insulting in any way.

Rather, it comes across to me as concise, professional, and proper.

Packy, your co-workers sound like people who need more to do to occupy their minds.


----------



## ewie

I must say I _do_ find it distinctly abrupt.  (Said Ewie abruptly.)


----------



## Packard

I think I'll go with "Über regards," (Oops. Friday. Foreign word day.)


Thanks everyone for your replies.

Über Regards,


Packard


----------



## Mezzofanti

A Belgian friend of mine who often has to write e-mails in English tells me that he always signs off "regards" because that is the commonest sign-off in e-mails he receives from native speakers of English in business correspondence. I think it would appear discourteous if addressed to colleague who is also a _friend_, but not otherwise.


----------



## JamesM

I was advised by follow U.S. colleagues to use "Best regards" rather than "Regards" because it sounded a little rude and too abrupt.  I had used "Regards" for years before that.  It never occurred to me that it might sound rude.  To me it was as formulaic and polite as "Sincerely".  

I have switched to "Best regards" to avoid any hint of rudeness.


----------



## AngelEyes

JamesM said:


> I have switched to "Best regards" to avoid any hint of rudeness.


After reading this thread, I think I will, too!


----------



## sdgraham

In the fine company from which I retired, we had an internal messaging system that went back a hundred years before the Internet became a standard means of communication.

"Regards" (Or "Rgds") was a standard sign-off and nobody considered it rude or abrupt especially since nobody liked typing on a Teletype.

Edit: (Even further back, the sign off was -33- which translated to "regards")

Regards,
SDG


----------



## panjandrum

If closing an e-mail with "Regards" is rude, then all my e-mails, ever (and that goes back a very, very long way) have been extremely rude.

In the same way that I never start an e-mail with "Dear ...", I never end an e-mail with any kind of meaningless closure.  They begin with the recipient's name and end with my name or initial(s).  Never, since I started using e-mail back in the 1970s, has anyone commented that my e-mail style is unusual or rude.

"Regards" seems a bit plastic and automatic when I think about it, but it creates no emotional response.


----------



## natkretep

It never occurred to me that 'Regards' could be rude. For informal messages to people I know, I generally use 'Cheers' or 'Love', but for people I don't know so well I habitually use 'Regards' or 'Best wishes'.

I suppose those who find 'Regards' rude would also be annoyed with 'Yours' (without _sincerely_, _faithfully_, etc.) that I used to use in little notes years ago.


----------



## LV4-26

If you exclude a few words that are unanimously considered rude, rudeness is often in the eyes of the beholder.

Similarly, I'm convinced many people would think you don't really agree or you're not really interested, if you just answer "yes" instead of "aaabsoluuuutely". .
This widespread (not exclusive to English) phenomenon is sometimes called inflation of language.

Whether or not _regards_ is "objectively" rude is a question that will never get a satisfactory answer. However, we can clearly see why it can sound sort of mechanical to some. I have no objection to using _kind regards_ instead, only I suspect this one will sound equally abrupt or indifferent in a year or so if everyone adopts it on a regular basis.


----------



## Spira

panjandrum said:


> If closing an e-mail with "Regards" is rude, then all my e-mails, ever (and that goes back a very, very long way) have been extremely rude.
> 
> In the same way that I never start an e-mail with "Dear ...", I never end an e-mail with any kind of meaningless closure. They begin with the recipient's name and end with my name or initial(s). Never, since I started using e-mail back in the 1970s, has anyone commented that my e-mail style is unusual or rude.
> 
> "Regards" seems a bit plastic and automatic when I think about it, but it creates no emotional response.


 
Using e-mail in the 1970s? How? I'd never seen a computer then, and it was another 20 years before I'd heard of internet. Was I living in a backwards village (London)?

I'm also totally phased to hear that enyone considers Regards as rude. A bit abrupt perhaps, a bit more informal than Best regards or warm regards, but rude?


----------



## Packard

Of course something as silly as the way we sign off should not give occasion to annoy.

I am contemplating a change from "Regards".  

"Über Regards" probably won't make the cut.

Does "My regards," sound OK to others?


My regards,


Packard


----------



## Myridon

Coincidentally, my boss just signed an email to me with "Regards," yesterday.  I wasn't offended.

Don't confuse "computers" with "personal computers".  Email has been around since the mid to late '60s.


----------



## Spira

My regards (meaning _my best regards_ really) sounds fine to me.


----------



## ewie

Packard said:


> Does "My regards," sound OK to others?


It certainly sounds more _personal_ than the plain version, Mr.P

Lots of love,
♥♥♥♥ewie♥♥♥♥


----------



## OCDawn

Packard said:


> *Context:*
> 
> For the longest time I sent e-mails using the same format as I would with snail mail.  That meant for a salutation I would write "Dear Jack", and for the closing salutation I would write "Regards, Packard".
> 
> I took a lot of heat from co-workers for the "Dear Jack", so I've shortened it to simply "Jack,".
> 
> But I still close out the e-mail with "Regards, Packard".
> 
> Co-workers are now telling me that "Regards" is rude.
> 
> *Question:*
> 
> Is there any possible reason to conclude that "regards" is rude?  I think my co-workers are either pulling my leg (but they are not clever enough to try) or they are nuts (a possibility).


I searched for the answer as I also feel "Regards" sounds derogatory and short.  I do not use.


----------



## keyscarter

I have always considered that ending rude.  I may be incorrect, but if I am I know a lot of other people are wrong, too. 
It seems to not tell what sort of regards you are sending, but usually seems like it means rude regards to me. I say Thanks or Thank you to end emails. If the person is in need of being put in their place then I might say something like Let me know if you have any questions and then my signature line.


----------



## JamesM

"Regards" or "Best regards" is extremely common in business, in my experience.  I know people who are distinctly _un_impressed if you use anything else.  It has been that way for me in international correspondence since the days of TWX and Telex. (I'm old; I know.   )

I would never use it in a personal email but I do use it in business emails with people outside my own company.


----------



## DonnyB

I'd say that nearly all the business emails I receive (mainly from BE speakers), end with "Kind regards".  I have had the occasional "Regards" which I never thought of as being rude or abrupt.

But like James (post #28), I wouldn't use it in a personal email.


----------



## Trochfa

JamesM said:


> "Regards" or "Best regards" is extremely common in business, in my experience.



I agree. Both have never bothered me, especially if I, and the other person, have to get on with something quickly. 

You can usually tell from the tone of the email whether someone is being rude or dismissive *long* before you reach "Regards".

Part of it might have to do with dealing with internal or external "clients".  Internally, with people I know well I often use "Regards" or "Kind regards". Externally with someone I know I would probably use "Kind regards" [or AmE "Best regards"].  If I don't know the person well I would opt for a more formal sign-off.


----------



## Packard

Lately I have been using various foreign language translations of "Yours sincerely".  Despite the strangeness of the words, no one has yet commented to me.  I have about 75 translations before I start to repeat.  I'm wondering if anyone ever reads the words anymore.

Bosnian S poštovanjem

Bulgarian С уважение

Catalan Atentament

Croatian S poštovanjem

Czech S úctou


----------



## pob14

Packard said:


> I'm wondering if anyone ever reads the words anymore.


I don't, and never did.

A spot check of my email suggests that no closing at all is far in the lead, with "Thank you" in distant second.  I was unable to find "Regards" in any email or actual correspondence, but I didn't spend a lot of time on it.


----------



## PaulQ

Copyright said:


> *Of course it's not rude!* You work with some strange people.


What he said.





Packard said:


> I'm wondering if anyone ever reads the words anymore.


Probably not.


----------



## Linkway

Perhaps "regards" could be treated as "I'm looking at you", and it's not clear whether that's a hostile look or a friendly look!


----------



## velisarius

Well, we do say "Give Bill my regards when you see him", and I don't think that ever means "Give Bill a few tender/angry looks when you see him".


----------



## ivan5564

In the U.S. military, emails to equals and superiors are closed by "Very Respectfully" or "V/r", while to people of lower rank by "Respectfully" or "R". Seeing "Regards" in an email appears to me to be extremely rude or at least crass. It does not even imply a minimal level of respect, and can be in principle a shortened version of "Worst Regards".


----------



## velisarius

I think most of us aren't in the US military, and can safely go on using "Regards".


----------



## sdgraham

velisarius said:


> I think most of us aren't in the US military, and can safely go on using "Regards".


----------



## velisarius

JamesM said:


> I have switched to "Best regards" to avoid any hint of rudeness.



I don't like it much, as it implies that I am saving up my worst regards for really obnoxious folk, but I do use it sometimes— especially if the body of the email is not particularly cordial.


----------



## e2efour

I have always written Regards at the end of an e-mail. Fortunately I have never had to deal with those individuals who regard it as rude.
I do notice, however, that most people seem to reply with Best regards.

Why should the addition of Best or Kind make any difference? They are meaningless words anyway, like sincerely, faithfully or truly.

I do at least write Regards, although I think the most professional way is not to write Dear XX (I have recently dropped this in favour of Hi) but simply the person's name and sign off with your name only.


----------



## Packard

velisarius said:


> I think most of us aren't in the US military, and can safely go on using "Regards".



I think that is akin to "quality".  

_I only buy quality goods.

Oh, would that be high quality or low quality goods?_


----------



## velisarius

As I said earlier in the thread, "Send my regards to Bill" cannot mean "Send my worst regards to Bill". In the context of sending them to someone, "regards" are "good quality".

I am yours, with the utmost affection and respect,
velisarius


----------



## Packard

velisarius said:


> As I said earlier in the thread, "Send my regards to Bill" cannot mean "Send my worst regards to Bill". In the context of sending them to someone, "regards" are "good quality".
> 
> I am yours, with the utmost affection and respect,
> velisarius


I always sign my business correspondence with:

Regards,

Packard


I notice that most of the emails I get leave off any complimentary closing and they go directly to the  signature line.


----------



## Barque

I know someone who signs off with _Regs_ quite often. I wonder what your co-workers would make of that, Packard.

Someone else I know uses _Warmly. _Only one so far, luckily.


----------



## Packard

Barque said:


> I know someone who signs off with _Regs_ quite often. I wonder what your co-workers would make of that, Packard.
> 
> Someone else I know uses _Warmly. _Only one so far, luckily.



I have a friend that answers the phone by saying, "Speaking".  Not quite rude, but clearly not friendly.


----------



## RM1(SS)

I remain, sir, Yr obedient


----------



## Packard

RM1(SS) said:


> I remain, sir, Yr obedient


You remain?  But pray tell, why are you still here?


(I’ve never understood the “I remain” bit.)


----------



## RM1(SS)

"I am still your obedient...."


----------



## Packard

RM1(SS) said:


> "I am still your obedient...."


Ah.  But of course no one actually means that.  So it is closing with a lie.  Far ruder than a simple “regards”.


----------



## Loob

Packard said:


> I notice that most of the emails I get leave off any complimentary closing and they go directly to the  signature line.


That's what I do - I've never used _*Regards*_ or any variant of it.

I don't think of _*Regards*_ as rude ... just superfluous.


----------



## Packard

Loob said:


> That's what I do - I've never used _*Regards*_ or any variant of it.
> 
> I don't think of _*Regards*_ as rude ... just superfluous.


Heck!  I would not want to be superfluous.  I will do the same.


----------



## Loob




----------



## london calling

Barque said:


> I know someone who signs off with _Regs_ quite often. I wonder what your co-workers would make of that, Packard.


I get 'BR' (Best regards). 

I can't see what all the fuss is about personally. 'Regards' is fine as far as I'm concerned.


----------



## RM1(SS)

Packard said:


> Ah.  But of course no one actually means that.  So it is closing with a lie.  Far ruder than a simple “regards”.


A much more impressive-sounding lie, though.


----------



## ewie

Packard said:


> I'm wondering if anyone ever reads the words anymore.


I do: I read _everything_
I still find _Regards_ abrupt, cold, unimaginative, worthless, and insincere-sounding.  But apart from that, it's okay.


----------



## Packard

ewie said:


> I do: I read _everything_
> I still find _Regards_ abrupt, cold, unimaginative, worthless, and insincere-sounding.  But apart from that, it's okay.


Thank you for your tacit approval.


----------



## sdgraham

Perhaps it depends upon the writer.
When I arrived in London to take over an administrative post, I replaced a person who not only wrote really, *really* nasty critiques to subordinates on an open message wire, but signed off with what I regarded as a sarcastic "regards."
I hope nobody regards me in that light. (I believed in keeping negative critiques private while spreading congratulations to the world.)
Best (and sincere) regards.
SDG


----------



## Loob

It's "Best regards" that really gets my goat.

If you're sending me your best regards and you don't even know me, then who are you sending your second-best regards to??


ewie said:


> [...] I still find _Regards_ abrupt, cold, unimaginative, worthless, and insincere-sounding.  But apart from that, it's okay.


----------



## sdgraham

Loob said:


> t's "Best regards" that really gets my goat.


How about "best wishes?"

You seemed to think that was ok here: analyze grammar "happy birthday to you"


----------



## srk

velisarius said:


> I am yours, with the utmost affection and respect,
> velisarius




Regardless,
srk


----------



## You little ripper!

srk said:


> Regardless,
> srk




I don’t have a problem with ‘Regards’. As Trochfa mentioned earlier, you can tell by the tone of the letter whether someone is being rude or dismissive well before you get to that point.


----------



## Loob

sdgraham said:


> How about "best wishes?"
> 
> You seemed to think that was ok here: analyze grammar "happy birthday to you"


Context is everything, sdg.


----------



## AngelEyes

I think you're all spending way too much time on something frivolous. I see nothing wrong with using "Regards." It's a matter of personal preference, and I find nothing offensive about it.

There's a #1 radio personality here in Detroit at one the biggest radio stations in the Midwest. He ends every show with, "Regards, Paul W. Smith."

I don't know anyone who thinks he's rude or dismissive. Jeesh.


----------



## ithehappy

Sorry for digging up this dormant topic but what I would like to know is, exactly what does Regards mean? Doesn't it mean 'Best wishes'? If that's the case, then isn't putting Best before regards simply translating to 'Best (best wishes)', thereby making the use of Best redundant? Same rule should also apply for Warm regards I suppose. With regards is fine but I don't like the notion of a preposition in ending, am I weird or what?

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not a native English speaker but I've almost exclusively used just Regards in all emails I've sent thus far and never bothered. But the reason I'm posting here is because for all the emails I receive, they mostly all end with Warm regards, or Best regards and those always sounded off to me.


----------



## Egmont

ithehappy said:


> ... Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not a native English speaker but I've almost exclusively used just Regards in all emails I've sent thus far and never bothered. But the reason I'm posting here is because for all the emails I receive, they mostly all end with Warm regards, or Best regards and those always sounded off to me.


I think you can safely close with "Regards." Just please don't start with "I hope you are well," unless you are a close friend of mine and know that I've been ill.


----------



## DonnyB

I've come round to the opinion that "Regards" is a bit terse and abrupt, and I wouldn't/don't use it. "Kind regards" is a pretty standard sign-off in the vast majority of business emails people send me these days, though I know one or two people who use "Best Regards", which comes across to me as a little bit more friendly that just 'Regards' on its own.


----------



## PaulQ

ithehappy said:


> what I would like to know is, exactly what does Regards mean?



OED: *regard.*


> *Etymology: * <  Anglo-Norman _reguard_, _reguarde_, Anglo-Norman and Middle French _regard_, _regart_, etc. look, glance, gaze (late 10th cent. in Old French), [...]* attention paid to a person or thing (first half of the 12th cent.)*


and


> *4.a.*  Admiration; affection, kindly feeling.
> 
> ?1533    T. Elyot tr.  Isocrates _Doctr. Princes_ sig. B 5  _He shall in other mens busynesse do nothyng wisely, make moch of them that be wyse, and do perceyue more than other men, and haue good regarde towarde them. _my translation: _He should, wisely, not interfere in other people's business, and he should respect the wise, and notice things more than other men, and show a good degree of kindness towards them._


which, in the 18th century, gave rise to "[possessive adjective +] *regards", *which assumes or implies that the "regards" are positive.



> *4.*†*b.*  In _plural_. Words or actions expressive of esteem or affection. _Obsolete_.
> ?1702    B. Loveling _Serm. preach'd at Banbury_ Ded. sig. A2v  I shall not here present you with a Scheme of my sincere Regards for you: How pleasing soever such a Subject may be to _me_.


and later that century were used to end a letter


> *4. c.*  In _plural_. Used as a formula requesting that the person addressed (in speech or writing) convey the expression of the speaker's or writer's affection to a third person (esp. in  give my regards to —,  send one's regards), or to express friendliness or goodwill at the end of a letter or other written communication.
> 
> 1775    J. Adams in  J. Adams  & A. Adams _Familiar Lett._ (1876) 103  _My regards..to my relations and yours._


----------



## Uncle Jack

I see "regards" as just a simple indication that the main text is ended. This is usually clear, because what follows is a "signature" - by which I mean something ready-made that is appended to every email. Although we cannot tell whether or not "regards" forms part of the signature, I think most people exclude it, and "regards", or whatever other words they use to sign off, is typed in each message. However, if someone accidentally sends a message before they finished writing it (and I am sure most of us have done this), the message will not have "regards" at the end, which might indicate to the reader that something is amiss.

Personally, I use "kind regards". However, I don't find "regards" or even "rgds" rude. They are there to serve a purpose, just as "Yours &c" did 200 years ago. The purpose is served whatever words are used, so long as they fall within conventional norms.


----------



## e2efour

I have always written Regards at the end of an e-mail.

Why should the addition of Best or Kind make any difference? They are meaningless words anyway, like sincerely, faithfully or truly.

I do at least write Regards, although I think the most professional way is not to write Dear XX (I have recently dropped this in favour of Hi) but simply the person's name and sign off with your name only.

[French text removed from the English Only forum.  DonnyB - moderator]


----------



## Packard

During the pandemic I’ve been signing off with:

“Best Regards (and stay healthy),”.

On Thursday of this week I dropped the “(and stay healthy)”, having decided in advance to drop it when all the safety measures have been dropped.

Now I worry that people are going to think that I don’t want them to stay healthy.


----------



## Andygc

If I get a "kind regards" or "best regards" email, I recognise that the words are automatic and meaningless. My reply ends with "regards" and I really don't care if that's seen as abrupt. 

If it's an email to somebody that I know and like, they get "best wishes".


----------



## Tegs

I don't see "regards" as abrupt or anything else. It's just a normal way of finishing an email. I never use "kind regards" as I feel the "kind" is unnecessary.


----------

