# Leaving food on your plate



## elroy

My sister and I recently got into a discussion about the attitude in the United States towards leaving food on your plate, when you've been invited to someone's house for a meal. We are not American, but we have both spent a significant amount of time in the United States, so we were both speaking from experience.

My impression was that it was generally not acceptable to leave food on your plate, as this might imply that the food did not taste good. I know that this is the case in many other parts of the world, and I thought the US was no exception. My sister, however, maintained that it was very common to leave food on your plate, and that it was not at all frowned upon.

What are the thoughts of our American members? Do you think leaving food on your plate is rude, or not at all unacceptable? Is this something that you don't even think about, whether as a host or as a guest?

While I'm mostly interested in the opinions of members from the US (and it's not just because I want to settle the debate with my sister ), I'm also curious as to how this matter is viewed in other countries and cultures.

I look forward to your contributions.


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## .   1

It is considered very bad manners to not clean your plate down here and requires a significant explanation to sooth ruffled feathers.
I don't like the taste of (whatever) is generally not good enough so ill health is usually pleaded.

.,,


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## Sorcha

I think in Ireland its considered rude and most people will need give an explanation as to why they didnt finish their dinner!!


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## Kelly B

Er... "because I'm too fat already" is generally a plausible excuse in the US...
We'd be more likely to actually _say _something like "my eyes were bigger than my stomach."

...which sounds particularly absurd given statement 1. I really need to go to bed before I say something even sillier...


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## paquijote

I wouldn't dare leave food on my plate at another person's house.  Even if I felt that I could eat no more, I would finish, to be polite.  I think in a lot of households in America it is this way, where it is frowned upon to leave food on your plate as it is understood as "the food didn't taste good."


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## Abu Bishr

Where I come from, it is normally not frowned upon too much if you leave food on your plate. It might cause a little bit of concern in the host that the food might not be tasty enough for the guest, and feel that  he / she was not hospitable enough to cater (adequately) for the guest's tastes. On the other hand, if you leave an empty plate, be rest assured it's going too be refilled if not by you (the guest) then by the host him/herself, as leaving an empty plate suggests that the guest is still very hungry indeed. Then again, because South Africa is so multicultural it could be that this applies only to the culture that I belong to amongst the many different and diverse cultures of South Africa.


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## danielfranco

Around these here parts, people often have mixed traditions from many places 'round the country and from Mexico, since we share a border with that country.
So, from Mexico we have people with that ages-old custom of offering you a plate of food when you visit them. Then, you are supposed to say, "No, thank you, I don't want to impose". And then they insist. After about a good five minutes of back and forth denial and insistance, finally everyone sits down for a meal, in which the host plies you with food as if there were no tomorrow.
Not only you are supposed to finish the whole plate, but they will offer second helplings (for which the denial-insistance theater is played once again). And then thirds and fourths, etc.

In less Hispanic environs, one can get away with not accepting seconds, but one must clean that plate, or grave affront might follow. Oh, nobody will even mention it, but it will be duly noted and remembered religiously until the end of time ("remember that Daniel boy? Bastard, wouldn't even finish the tuna casserole, my mother's recipe, like he's too fine to eat our food... Don't invite him again, honey!").


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## Brioche

My guests are not obliged to eat everything on their plates, and I don't feel any obligation to clear mine.
When you're as far over the hill as I am, you make your own decisions about food!

I like dessert, and I always make sure that there is room to enjoy it.


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## mirx

I am very speacial when it comes to food, I don´t like any diary products except for milk which I love. I particularly get disgusted by sour cream. Once in México they served a dish dressed with cream, just the smell nearly made me get sick, I told the host I didn't not like cream. She took the plate back and went into the kitchen, two seconds later her daughter came and asked if there´s was something else I didn't like. hehe.

It is very, but absolutely very frowned upon to not finish your dinner in México. I learned though, that I rather pass as rude for a moment than to deal with an upset stomach for two or three days. 

PS: Do not eat anything you don't feel comfortable eating, and don't be afraid to say so, I asure the host will understand, and she certainly would rather prepare a special dish for you than clean the mess in case you get .


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## Kajjo

elroy said:


> Do you think leaving food on your plate is rude, or not at all unacceptable?


It is OK to leave food on your plate in Germany. The customs vary, though. The traditional rules even claim that the guest has to leave a little bit to show he had enough after all. Also it was the iron rule to leave decorative food, e.g. orange slices or salad leaves. Nowadays it is accepted, but by far not a must, to eat parts of the decoration. You may now also finish your plate completely.

Personally, I enjoy the modern self-esteem not to eat stuff that you do not like. If you fill your plate yourself, you should of course take portions you will manage.

Children are being taught to finish their plates. It is recommended that they are allowed to fill their own plates. It is better to have a second or third helping than to leave food of the first helping. This teaches children to better gauge your own appetite and not to waste food.

Kajjo


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## Brioche

Kajjo said:


> Children are being taught to finish their plates. It is recommended that they are allowed to fill their own plates. It is better to have a second or third helping than to leave food of the first helping. This teaches children to better gauge your own appetite and not to waste food.
> 
> Kajjo


 
I'm particularly opposed to children being told to eat everything that *someone else* has put on the plates.

When my daughter was little, her appetite sometimes varied greatly from one day to the next. We decided that as long as she was given healthy choices the big meal she ate one day would balance the small meal she ate another day.


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## maxiogee

I have ceased being mock-polite.
When being served in anyone's house I ask for a small portion, or serve myself a small portion. Then should I require more (which would be unusual) I can ask - if there is more visible. Otherwise, I will have had enough.
If people want to play silly games about their generosity and overload their guests' plates, they needn't expect me to play along.
And if I am asked if I want more, they shouldn't expect me to join them in dancing the 
"Would you like some more?" 
-- "Oh I couldn't possibly" 
- "Oh go on, it will only go to waste!" 
---- "Oh well then maybe just eight more roast potatoes please." two-step


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## cubaMania

It was once taught as etiquette in USA that one should A.) eat most of the food on the plate but B.) leave just a small amount of food on the plate.  This was supposed to indicate to the host that A.) you enjoyed the meal but B.) were not left hungry for more.  I suspect this custom has fallen by the wayside, along with other etiquette rules, such as "never re-fold a used towel (so the host/hostess can tell what needs washing and is not forced to wash every towel in the bathroom.)" 

For generations kids have been told they must "clean their plates".  I heartily agree with Brioche that this is not a good thing.  In fact, we are teaching our children to continue eating after they have become full.  Is it any wonder that we are plagued by problems of overweight when we have been trained in childhood not to notice the signals of satiation which our bodies send out once the stomach is filled?  We would be healthier if we were not deliberately taught this bad eating habit.


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## Bonjules

Hi,

1. If you grew up experiencing hunger, there is no problem ever: You' d feel so guilty leaving anything that you always finish. It's automatic.
2. To avoid being seen as rude or not liking the food leave something after
you have had 3 or 4 good seize helpings.
3. On the general topic of food, kindness and overeating I recommend
O'Henry's short story 'Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen'.
saludos


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## Frank06

Hi,


paquijote said:


> I wouldn't dare leave food on my plate at another person's house.  Even if I felt that I could eat no more, I would finish, to be polite.  I think in a lot of households in America it is this way, where it is frowned upon to leave food on your plate as it is understood as "the food didn't taste good."


I had that same idea during my visit in Iran. First everybody got a plate with several kinds of fruit, which is odd from my point of view, since I/we give/take individual pieces, or at least let people choose one piece a time. So, my sense of western politeness made me eat all of the fruit. Mind you, for every piece eaten, a fresh one was put on the dish... Then came the tea, the nuts, the ice cream, the cakes, etc. At the moment I started to think that I had it, a _huge meal _appeared. Dinner time, you know. More problematic than emptying the plates were the (often futile) attempts to refuse more food during dinner time.
In short, my western sense for politness v.a.v. emptying dishes, my lack of understanding Iranian eating habits and the lack of Persian made me gain a lot of extra kilos in a few weeks. Later I kind of learned that at least the fruit and the 'pre-dinner food' doesn't need to be eaten all in order to be polite, and that the remaining pieces of fruit can be put back (well, that's what I think), which, again, is a bit odd from my point of view. I also heard later that people thought I had a great appetite...

What Belgium is concerned, I think the 'general rule' requires that you empty your plate during time, certainly during a first visit or a more formal occasion. But again, the biggest problem is finding a polite way to refuse a third 'round'  (a second, usually smaller portion is 'normally' to be accepted).
As a host, it's difficult to find a middle way between (1) making too much food (which gives the impression nobody liked it) and (2) insisting that people should take an extra dish, risking that the pot gets emptied, which is an indication that the host didn't make enough food. So, people do (1) .

Groetjes,

Frank


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## Kajjo

maxiogee said:


> If people want to play silly games about their generosity and overload their guests' plates, they needn't expect me to play along.


You are right. I particularly hate that behaviour, even it is culturally based and meant for good. It is very difficult to play along such games without accepting too much.

I think it is the utmost priority to feel well and make guests feel well. Playing is OK, but the guest needs to have an easy enough opportunity to escape. Nobody should be forced to eat more than he really likes just out of politeness or misunderstood generosity.

Kajjo


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## Etcetera

elroy said:


> My impression was that it was generally not acceptable to leave food on your plate, as this might imply that the food did not taste good. I know that this is the case in many other parts of the world, and I thought the US was no exception.


In Russia, it's the same. It's considered pretty rude to leave food on your plate (well, unless the eater is a child).


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## TrentinaNE

Whatever I don't finish, my husband ususally will. Problem solved!  

In general, if you are a guest serving yourself, it would be considered rude to leave very much on your plate. When I as a hostess have spent a lot of time and expense preparing something special, I must say that it does irritate me if a guest voluntarily takes a large helping, eats one bite, and then leaves the rest. I could have used those leftovers!  

On the other hand, if I'm presenting my guests with pre-determined portions (such as lasagna that I've cut myself), I always tell them not to feel they need to eat any more than they want. There's some give-and-take between being a good host(ess) and a good guest. 

Elisabetta


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## faranji

cubaMania said:


> It was once taught as etiquette in USA that one should A.) eat most of the food on the plate but B.) leave just a small amount of food on the plate. This was supposed to indicate to the host that A.) you enjoyed the meal but B.) were not left hungry for more.


 
Such is exactly the case in Thailand, where cleaning the plate is consider extremely rude. People will always leave a small amount of untouched food, even when eating at street stalls. As an starving backpacker in the Thai-Malay border, I found it a pretty hard etiquette to follow! I'd like to know whether there're any other cultures where the same habit applies.


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## la reine victoria

I have no qualms about leaving food on my plate.

On the Isle of Wight, the words "portion control" are alien.  So, whenever I eat out, I am faced with a plate of food which could easily feed three.

Let's face it, one can only eat according to one's appestat.

When I am invited to a friend's home, for a meal, I always help myself to a small portion.  By so doing I can eat everything and not inslult my host/hostess.

I never have room for pudding.  I am diabetic and my friends know this.

LRV


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## Pedro y La Torre

Sorcha said:


> I think in Ireland its considered rude and most people will need give an explanation as to why they didnt finish their dinner!!



Really? If a dinner isn't good or I'm already full, I won't finish it. I've never had to give an explanation.


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## Stigmatas

I've read just about every post here. Not one person carries the same values as I do. In my family if you ask for it, you WILL eat it. Money was scarce and my mother would not see food being thrown away but she saw it as money being thrown away. Saying that, you are allowed to taste the food to say you like or dislike something. If you dislike something it just means more for everyone else. I was raised with the idea in my head that there are starving kids all over the world. For me to throw that plate of food away after I asked for the amount I started with would be a slap to their faces. I always clean my plate when eating. Whether at home or at someone elses house. I'm also not afraid to tell anyone else how I feel when offered a plate of food I know I will not eat.
"I ate earlier and i'm not hungry."
"The fish looks really good, but I dont like sticky rice."
"I appreciate the offer, but I didn't come over here to eat you out of house and home."
"To be honest I am grateful for the food, but you gave me too much, please take some back."


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## Kajjo

Stigmatas said:


> I was raised with the idea in my head that there are starving kids all over the world. For me to throw that plate of food away after I asked for the amount I started with would be a slap to their faces.


I honestly do not want to offend you, but don't you think this attitude is somewhat hypocritic?  Whether you take less and the rest is thrown away, or you  leave something on the plate and it is thrown away, does not matter at all. And in any case, the "kids all over the world" gain nothing. 

Saving money by buying and cooking less and giving the money to support children could be a help. But to eat more than you really need because the plate has to get clean, is just a psychological action, nothing more. 

Many people think they save money when finishing their plate. That is nonsense -- except if they really buy less the next day, because they are still not very hungry. Again, buying and cooking less would save money, not eating all there is.

Kajjo


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## Stigmatas

You did not offend me. Here we believe in left overs. If you dont eat it now, you will heat it up tomorrow in the microwave. Then when that food is done, new food is cooked to repeat the process.

Someone else might be offended when you bring your point across like that. Just for future reference.

For your kids all over the world comment. That meant to be thankful we have food to eat and are not starving. I didnt come from a rich family so we never wanted to forget who we are. I was never too good to not eat leftovers or throw food away. Money was hard to come by. Maybe that will put my believes into perspective for you.


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## Amityville

If I'm eating alone at home I could tip the whole plateful into the bin with no embarrassment whatsoever  but obviously I wouldn't do that in someone's house it would be rude !
I think there are some atavistic constraints, and the kinship of eating together with others that date from when food wasn't always easily got which merge and deform with modern-day etiquette. Also there seem to be two cultural poles, as it were. The culture of hospitality where the guest's comfort and well-being are all-important, there may be wild beasts out there in the dark, we look after each other. And the culture of "entertaining" where the deal is to impress with the appearance of the home, table decorations, culinary expertise, etc. "Does hosting a dinner party bring you out in a cold sweat ? Don't worry, we've done the thinking for you...."
Here, etiquette is everything and if someone breaks a little rule it apparently matters. But look at George Bush, not only did he not finish what was on his plate, but brought back what he had eaten. Spectacular, but I think he gained more sympathy than diapproval. Not recommending it, mind you.


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## panjandrum

It's very simple here, in my dining room.

If I serve the meal, or part of it, on the plates, you eat what you want and leave the rest.
If you serve yourself, you eat what you want and leave the rest - you may not have liked it as much as you expected to, or it may have been more substantial and filling than you expected.

Guests normally come back for more anyway, so it is very unusual for there to be any food left on the plates. If there is, I take them to the end of the garden, strangle them and bury them under the rhubarb.

Putting it another way, sometimes there is food left on the plates, usually there isn't. Either way, I have no idea who ate what and it would never occur to me to check it out.


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## mytwolangs

As a guest - 
I don't turn down free meals. I don't take more than I can eat. I never thought of it in terms of manners, I just don't like to waste food.

As a host -I would not care if they didn't finish, but if they do, I will let them know - "there is more if you like".


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## KateNicole

I'm American and I don't ever get offended if someone doesn't finish every last bit of food on the plate that I served them. If the person barely eats anything, I might assume that they didn't like the food, which might make me feel a little embarrassed, but I can't necessarily hold it against them. I just wouldn't expect anyone to eat something they truly didn't like. And if they make up a polite lie like "I had a late lunch," all the better. 

What I would find a bit rude, however, is if a person served him_self _or her_self_ a very large portion of food at my house and then ate only a fraction of it. If I'm not sure that I will like a food when eating at a friend's house, I will serve myself a very modest amount, or tell the host that I'm not very hungry and ask them to only serve me a little bit . . . and if I like it, I oblige when they ask me if I want more.

In my house and among my friends and family, no one even pays attention to who clears their plate and who doesn't. However, whenever I travel to Mexico with my mom and we eat in someone's home, she is so obsessed with making me clean my plate that she always tells the host to serve me a _ridiculously_ small amount of food and then I end up going hungry! I think it's because she appreciates the fact that Mexico wastes so much less than the US, as well as the fact that many Mexicans live on much less than the typical American, but boy does she obsess over the idea to the point that it stresses me out! 

The only time I really left a lot of food on my plate was when a family took me out to eat menudo, and I tried to politely explain to them that I really did not like it, but they insisted on ordering me a plate anyway. I didn't touch it, nor did I feel guilty about it, as I had already tried wholeheartedly to prevent the situation, and on top of that, I didn't order the menudo--it was forced upon me! No one seemed upset.  Some seemed amused.


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## GenJen54

A few things worth noting. 

Whether leaving food on one's plate is considered polite or impolite is really a matter of personal upbringing, despite what the etiquette book says. 

My grandmother, like others of her generation, was a child of the Great Depression in the 1930s.  When she was growing up, you were told to eat what you could, when you could because they did not always know when the next meal would come.  The credo in her house was "eat it today, for there may not be any tomorrow."  

She also guilted her own children (my mother included) into believing that "there are starving children in x country, so you have to eat what you are served."

When my mother raised me, I was never forced to become a member of the "clean plate club," although I can recall meals at friends' homes, and even at summer camp, where cleaning one's plate was not only the norm, it was expected.

I would say times have changed, as have philosophies, but along with them, so have portions.   There was a time when portion sizes were quite "sensible."  A serving of chicken might mean three to four ounces.  A serving of potatoes might mean a serving spoon full.  

Nowadays portion sizes, even in homes, are generally out of control, as many take their cues from U.S. restaurants, where one can go in, order a meal, and be served enough to keep one sated for three separate meals. 

When I entertain, I tend to let guests serve themselves.  I'm rarely offended when the plate comes back with food on it.   The only time this happened is when I served dessert and one plate came back having been completely untouched.  Had the guest told me she was not interested in dessert (I always ask), I would not have been offended to hear her say no.
To me, what is wasteful is to accept something and then not partake of it at all.


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## KateNicole

I, too, had many friends whose parents nearly forced them to clean their plates, but I don't think it was an issue of manners or what is polite or impolite. . . more like custom. 
"Eat it all, even if you're full, because I said so!"

The first time I had a sleep over (second grade) I was perplexed that we were supposed to keep eating, even if we weren't hungry! (And not to open a can of worms, but those were my friends who were rather overweight.)

I think that sometimes parents encourage their children to keep eating even when they aren't hungry anymore due to certain perceptions about appetite. Many people firmly believe that a very hearty appetite is a sign of good health.  If parents are serving their children a portion that they _know_ they will struggle to finish (as I have seen done several times), I wouldn't call that an attempt to avoid waste.  If that were the case, why wouldn't they just cook less or save the food as leftovers?


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## kakashka

elroy said:


> My sister and I recently got into a discussion about the attitude in the United States towards leaving food on your plate, when you've been invited to someone's house for a meal. We are not American, but we have both spent a significant amount of time in the United States, so we were both speaking from experience.
> 
> My impression was that it was generally not acceptable to leave food on your plate, as this might imply that the food did not taste good. I know that this is the case in many other parts of the world, and I thought the US was no exception. My sister, however, maintained that it was very common to leave food on your plate, and that it was not at all frowned upon.
> 
> What are the thoughts of our American members? Do you think leaving food on your plate is rude, or not at all unacceptable? Is this something that you don't even think about, whether as a host or as a guest?
> 
> While I'm mostly interested in the opinions of members from the US (and it's not just because I want to settle the debate with my sister ), I'm also curious as to how this matter is viewed in other countries and cultures.
> 
> I look forward to your contributions.


 
It is not rude to leave your food on your plate in the USA. People are free in America to do what they want. Nobody is going to make you eat everything on your plate if you do not want to do that. Sometimes I have a plate full of food, and I do not even touch it. So what? Shoot me?
IN case someone makes you eat everything and you get sick because of that, you can sue that person.


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## KateNicole

kakashka said:


> It is not rude to leave your food on your plate in the USA. People are free in America to do what they want.


Well, isn't everyone across the globe (for the most part) free to not eat something if they don't want to? Having the legal right to do something doesn't necessarily make it polite, although it doesn't bother me when people leave food on their plate. Usually I do not even pay attention, but I'm sure some Americans _would_ be bothered by this.  I can only speak for myself and my close friends as far as this issue goes.

Sorry if there was sarcasm in your post and I'm just not detecting it.


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## kakashka

KateNicole said:


> Well, isn't everyone across the globe (for the most part) free to not eat something if they don't want to? Having the legal right to do something doesn't necessarily make it polite, although it doesn't bother me when people leave food on their plate. Usually I do not even pay attention, but I'm sure some Americans _would_ be bothered by this. I can only speak for myself and my close friends as far as this issue goes.
> 
> Sorry if there was sarcasm in your post and I'm just not detecting it.


 
There was no sarcasm in my post. You are FREE in America to do what you want, to be who/what you want. That's why I LOVE this country. 

If you travel a lot, you will soon come to a conclusion that other countries are completely different. 

FYI: if you go to Russia, and someone invites you for dinner, it is VERY RUDE to refuse to eat everything on your plate. It is also RUDE to refuse drink vodka with Russians in Russia. If you don't want to eat or drink something, they will MAKE you do that. And I am not kidding.


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## KateNicole

I believe what you say about Russia, but my point is that just because one is "free" to do something in the USA (or anywhere else) does _not_ mean that it will be accepted by all. If I go to Russia, I _am_, technically, free to not eat everything on my plate, but like you say, people might think that I'm rude. There are _also_ Americans that think that it is rude to leave food on a plate, but judging by what you have said about your country, the sentiment is not as strong here.
When I'm invited to a friend's home for dinner, I have every right to burp loudly without excusing myself, answer my cellphone and engage in an obnoxious conversation during dinner, chew with my mouth open and use my straw to blow bubbles.  There's certainly no law against it, but it doesn't mean that the host won't react! I'm happy that you love America and our freedom, but the question asks if leaving food on your plate is (socially) acceptable . . . I don't think anyone doubts whether one has the right to do so!


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## kakashka

KateNicole said:


> I believe what you say about Russia, but my point is that just because one is "free" to do something in the USA (or anywhere else) does _not_ mean that it will be accepted by all. If I go to Russia, I _am_, technically, free to not eat everything on my plate, but like you say, people might think that I'm rude. There are _also_ Americans that think that it is rude to leave food on a plate, but judging by what you have said about your country, the sentiment is not as strong here.
> When I'm invited to a friend's home for dinner, I have every right to burp loudly without excusing myself, answer my cellphone and engage in an obnoxious conversation during dinner, chew with my mouth open and use my straw to blow bubbles. There's certainly no law against it, but it doesn't mean that the host won't react! I'm happy that you love America and our freedom, but the question asks if leaving food on your plate is (socially) acceptable . . . I don't think anyone doubts whether one has the right to do so!


 
Then I will say that America is a big country. In some of its parts it is totally acceptable not to eat everything on your plate, and in other parts you should eat everything.


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## Kajjo

Stigmatas said:


> Here we believe in left overs. If you dont eat it now, you will heat it up tomorrow in the microwave.


Sure, that applies to your own household, but most probably not your host's household. I thought we particularly discussed about how to behave when dining with friends or other hosts.



> For your kids all over the world comment. That meant to be thankful we have food to eat and are not starving.


Right. But being thankful for having enough is not directly linked to starving people on other continents. I understand that knowing how important sufficient food is, you are particularly aware of its potential value. 

Kajjo


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## Kajjo

panjandrum said:


> It's very simple here, in my dining room. If I serve the meal, or part of it, on the plates, you eat what you want and leave the rest. If you serve yourself, you eat what you want and leave the rest - you may not have liked it as much as you expected to, or it may have been more substantial and filling than you expected.


I would be a relaxed and happy guest in your dining room! That attitude is modern, appropriate and suitable for the well-being of all people involved.

Kajjo


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## Etcetera

kakashka said:


> It is also RUDE to refuse drink vodka with Russians in Russia.


Is it indeed?
I can recall several dinners where some guests drank vodka (not too much, by the way), but no one was forcing all the other guests join them.


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## BabyGirl301

I think it depends on the culture of the person. I've lived in the U.S.A. all of my life and have depended on knowledge of other cultures to decide if i need to binge eat or nibble. My boyfriends family is Mexican and when I go to any of their houses and they offer me food I have to pig out and eat everything on the plate plus more.  My best friend, however, is Phillipino and her family only requires that you politely try everything and if you don't like it push it aside, but don't comment about it. In my home however ,which is Lebanese, we offer food, but don't force it upon you. 

Long story short...if your not hungry or you don't like what's being served find a polite excuse.


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## maxiogee

kakashka said:


> FYI: if you go to Russia, and someone invites you for dinner, it is VERY RUDE to refuse to eat everything on your plate. It is also RUDE to refuse drink vodka with Russians in Russia. If you don't want to eat or drink something, they will MAKE you do that. And I am not kidding.


 
Surely the rudeness is in expecting a foreigner to _know_ what is considered rude in a strange country?
When I invite a foreigner to my house I don't have any expectations of their behaviour nor do I interpret their actions in any way. They are there as my guests and my primary concern is their comfort and their peace fo mind. I would hate to think that they would be worrying that they might offend me or my wife.


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## chics

In Spain it's VERY rude. 

Your host usually aks you if there's anything that you can't eat or anything that you don't like; if not, you could say it, but always before they have been thought the menu, shopped the indredients and cooked it. You can also serve yourself a little portion.

Saying I leave a little "because I'm on diet" is even worse. You are not only aaying that you don't lik it, by leaving it, in rude manner, but you are also saying that your host is not able do make equilibrated menus and his/her food is not good. You should have said it before and served small quantities. You may eat everything and say any acomplishment.


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## maxwels

While leaving food in a plate loaded or emptied is a thing of concern for people who care to uphold ethics in place, the plight of ill-fated children perishing out of starvation is one paramount concern for a rare few who reach out to satiate them. I think a tortoise might have to break its shell to know how it feels to live up bare.


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## Saoul

The idea in Italy is you always have to leave a "boccone della discrezione" (good manners mouthful).

Always leave a small amount of food in your plate. You will imply that the food was delicious (because you ate great part of it), and the helping was abundant (so much, that you weren't able to finish it), paying so a huge compliment to your host/hostess.

Personally, I never pay compliments to my host/hostess, since I generally ask for some more!


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## Musical Chairs

I eat a whole lot more at home. I feel awkward asking for too much food at other people's places, no matter how much they say "take some more!" (unless they say they're throwing everything away anyway).

My mom used to give me the African children deal and I just said, "well I'm not in Africa and I'm not going to pretend I am just for you." I don't think she was completely serious but I think that's a stupid reason to eat all your food, for reasons Kajjo said. For kids most of the time, it's not really that they're full, it's that they don't like the food.

Where I am from in Japan (the countryside), people hate wasting food. When my mom was my age, all children at school HAD to finish their food, or else they couldn't go home. My mom stayed until 6 PM one day because she didn't like her lunch. When I was there, it wasn't as bad but children were definitely expected to finish all their food. If they didn't want to eat their bread, they took it home with them. One girl who really hated carrots would put them in her pocket, wrap them up in tissues, or throw them on the floor when nobody was looking. She she had fessed up when the teacher asked who threw carrots on the floor, I'm sure she would've gotten into big trouble. I don't think I can remember my grandparents ever throwing any food away, unless it went bad or something.

I think I'll talk about college dining in the US because nobody has yet. At my college, there are several counters of different kinds of food (pasta, stir-fry, hamburgers/fries, desserts, etc.) and you can take all the food you want. I feel so guilty sometimes at the dining hall, because I only took one bite out of a big dish before turning in my tray. I never really knew what happened to all the food that was never served, but I wouldn't be surprised if the dining hall people threw it away. I see my friends taking dishes and dishes of food that they end up not eating, and it makes me feel bad. I usually only get a plate or two at a time and get more later if I want because I hate being wasteful for nothing.


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## Freston

Heheh, it seems the African children are starving is universal to get children to eat their plate.

Back on topic, I've found complimenting the host several times about the taste of the food helps a LOT if you expect not to finish your plate. Here in the Netherlands I don't think it is really that big a deal though. but then, we're not really that much of an 'eating society'. There is more of an attitude of 'als je niet eet ga je dood' (if you don't eat you'll die).

I never gave it much thought, but as I count several German and Turkish immigrants among my friends, I have noticed their different perception of food & eating. I don't think they hold it against me that I view food with less significance, and we joke about it sometimes.

Something else to the point, if I'm invited for dinner with my Dutch friends, I usually help to cook. Both my Turkish and German friends consider this NOT DONE and an insult to their hospitality.


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## Kajjo

Freston said:


> [...] I usually help to cook. Both my Turkish and German friends consider this NOT DONE and an insult to their hospitality.


Well, it is less considered as insult, but more as "just not done". If I am the host, you are the guest. This is a social issue and it is true vice versa, too: I am the guest, I expect not to have to do kitchen work as well... 

Kajjo


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## Fitzcarraldo

While trekking in the mountains of South Tirol and Slovenia, I noticed that the mountain hut proprietors at high atitudes tended to get visibly annoyed when people left large amounts of food on their plates. Of course that could have been due to the trouble it takes to get food to those huts in the first place.


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