# Is it offensive to say "Hey man" to an African American?



## Siebenlu

Hello, everyone!

I am an English teacher in China. The other day, my student saw an African American and said "Hey man!" to him. He was angry and kind of said,"You son of a b****." My student told me the story and asked me if there's anything wrong with the words "Hey man". I don't know how to answer him. 

So, is it offensive to say so under such circumstance? Please enlighten me. Thanks a lot in advance.


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## GMF1991

I've never heard of this being an issue. I don't even see how this could be understood as an insult of any kind...


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## DW

But hey, many words can be offensive (no matter who they are being said to), depending on the way of pronounciation and  behavior while saying them. I believe that even "Hi." can be offensive  in some situations... .


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## GMF1991

The DW-cum-LS-cum-RB said:


> But hey, many words can be offensive, depending on the way of pronounciation and behavior while saying them. I believe that even "Hi." can be offensive in some situations... .



Very true, it could have been a misunderstood pronounciation of the term, but even then, I can't imagine how it could have been interpreted in a way to provoke the response that it received...


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## Einstein

"Hey man!" would fit into the relaxed, informal situation that the African American was used to in the USA, but he probably found it incongruous from someone he didn't know _in a foreign country_. He might have felt he was being treated rudely.
I'm only guessing...


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## Egmont

I wouldn't use "Hey, man" with anyone unless I knew him well. It's almost the verbal equivalent of snapping your fingers at someone to get his attention. Any stranger I addressed that way would be justified in being offended, no matter what his skin color. I can also understand why an African-American might be quicker to take offense than someone else who isn't used to being addressed in demeaning ways. So, while it's not specifically negative for addressing African-Americans (as "Hey, boy" is), it's a good phrase to avoid.


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## GMF1991

Egmont said:


> I wouldn't use "Hey, man" with anyone unless I knew him well. It's almost the verbal equivalent of snapping your fingers at someone to get his attention. Any stranger I addressed that way would be justified in being offended, no matter what his skin color. I can also understand why an African-American might be quicker to take offense than someone else who isn't used to being addressed in demeaning ways. So, while it's not specifically negative for address African-Americans (as "Hey, boy" is), it's a good phrase to avoid.



Another good point, some context may be needed, was your student trying to get the man's attention or just saying hello?

I had been reading it as an innocent "hello", but if it was to attract attention, then I can see where the rude interpretation comes from...


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## boozer

I have been told stories about the attitude black people receive in China. No, not bad, but certainly very, very irritating. A colleague of mine (who is black) was telling me how he used to be waved down by complete strangers in the street. Forget about the constant staring; that doesn't even count, he would tell me. The worst thing of all, according to him, was going to a restaurant and seeing people whispering things to one another, all in low hush-hush voices, secretly pointing at him, obviously finding him amusing. 

Given this scenario, it does not take much to see someone finally explode.  I certainly could, even without anyone attracting my attention with the casual 'Hey, man!'


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## RM1(SS)

Was he really an _African American_?  Or was he a _black man_ from some other country?


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## perpend

I would like to know the answer to RM1's question, as well.

There is a phrase in "Jamaican English" sort of like "Hey mon", sort of reggae-esque, that is quite relaxed and non-offensive.


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## Siebenlu

Thanks for your reply! I guess I may explaine to my student in this way.


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## Copyright

Siebenlu said:


> Thanks for your reply! I guess I may explaine to my student in this way.



In what way? That it's Jamaican? 

You haven't given us anything in a way of context: was it a stranger? was it an informal greeting? why was the student saying anything to this man? what was the situation? 

boozer offers some insights in post 8 that I can confirm and post 9 asks a question that it would be polite to answer. You're a new member and we don't expect you to know all our rules, but we ask for context with our questions because context often changes the meaning of the same phrase.


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## Parla

A good deal may depend on _what was happening_ at the time. People don't usually address total strangers (with "Hey man!" or anything else) when walking down the street. What were the circumstances under which your student said this? Had the man said or done something to the student? Had they had prior interaction of any kind?


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## Siebenlu

I described the man as an "Afrian American" for his skin. I don't know how to address him politely without using the word "black" here.


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## Siebenlu

I’m really sorry for your friend being treated in that way... Some Chinese do behave rudely but they don’t mean it. They just don’t know that they are  being rude.


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## perpend

Well, you could just say "African", but there are white Africans.

"black" is not offensive.


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## Siebenlu

Sorry for my long silence. I had three lessons in the morning and couldn't reply in time. Thanks for teaching the rules here


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## Siebenlu

GMF1991 said:


> Another good point, some context may be needed, was your student trying to get the man's attention or just saying hello?
> 
> I had been reading it as an innocent "hello", but if it was to attract attention, then I can see where the rude interpretation comes from...




I couldn't tell it. Students like him ( at the age of 12 and know little about cross-culture communication) have a great curiosity about all fresh things. Even Chinese from the north of China with an accent may interest them, not to mention a  foreigner from other country. So I guess he was trying to speak English with the man.


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## Siebenlu

Parla said:


> A good deal may depend on _what was happening_ at the time. People don't usually address total strangers (with "Hey man!" or anything else) when walking down the street. What were the circumstances under which your student said this? Had the man said or done something to the student? Had they had prior interaction of any kind?




As far as I know, that's the first time they met in a street. Actually, the student saw the man, and said "Hey man". Students may watch too many American films and pick up some words. I guess they just imitate.


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## Siebenlu

perpend said:


> Well, you could just say "African", but there are white Africans.
> 
> "black" is not offensive.



Thanks. I am also wondering if there are any other words to address a black man without offense?


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## Copyright

Siebenlu said:


> Thanks. I am also wondering if there are any other words to address a black man without offense?



*Hello* would do it for any color man or woman.


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## perpend

In current American English, you can say "Hey dude". It's also non-offensive. You can use it for both men and women, black or white.


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## Copyright

perpend said:


> In current American English, you can say "Hey dude". It's also non-offensive. You can use it for both men and women, black or white.


You're in China, you don't know if the person is African American, African, Jamaican, Tamil or some other creature, so I would not use "Hey, dude."


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## perpend

The way to address people casually has changed over the course of the years.

I think Siebenlu is asking why "Hey man" doesn't do the trick.

I'm trying to help.

In contemporary American English people really do just say:
"Hey man."
"Hey dude."
"What's up dude."

Etc.

Again, I'm trying to help Siebenlu.


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## Copyright

perpend said:


> Again, I'm trying to help siebenlu.



I understood the motivation, but given the context, I disagree with it.


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## ewie

It strikes me that for a *Chinese* to address a *black person** who's a *total stranger*, in the street, with _Hey dude_ is no improvement at all on _Hey man_: it is horribly over-familiar, patronizing, potentially insulting, etc. 


*Or any other person, for that matter.


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## perpend

Siebenlu is trying to understand why his/her student said what he/she said, and why it was met with anger.

The student may have picked the vernacular up on the Internet/TV, what have you.

Bottom line is that people really do say that, and it's not offensive. Why it met anger is a separate question, and maybe the thread should be split.


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## Cagey

People really do say those things, but only to specific people, not to every stranger.   
There are people who really are offended if someone addresses them in those terms. 

As Copyright says, _Hello_ is a greeting that unlikely to be offensive to anyone.


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## Thomas Tompion

I remember a few years ago a member said that there were people offended by the expression _Thank you_.


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## perpend

Just for the record, "Hey man" on the streets of Chicago is equivalent to "Hi, how do you do (in old-speak)."

There is nothing offensive, whatsoever, about it.


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## Copyright

perpend said:


> Just for the record, "Hey man" on the streets of Chicago is equivalent to "Hi, how do you do (in old-speak)."
> 
> There is nothing offensive, whatsoever, about it.



Of course that context doesn't match the context of the thread, which is why we require context for questions.


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## velisarius

I suspect that the anger was caused by the unwelcome attention he was getting, and maybe being stared at a lot. The actual wording of the greeting, especially since a child was saying it, is not really the point.


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## dreamlike

I'd say that the African American in question is an extremely rude person, because in whatever way he might have construed them, the words 'Hey Man!' are not a good enough reason to call someone 'Son of a bitch'.


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## boozer

dreamlike said:


> I'd say that the African American in question is an extremely rude person, because in whatever way he might have construed them, the words 'Hey Man!' are not a good enough reason to call someone 'Son of a bitch'.


I was trying to explain that anyone attracting too much unsolicited attention might at a certain point snap.  If that was the case, and I do believe it may have been, the words 'Hey man!' are of no consequence. The phrase 's... o. a b....' is the least I could say in such case, and I can be very inventive, even by translating my mother-tongue curses (ranking among the world's worst  ) into English.


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## Einstein

If someone on the streets of London called out to me, "Hey, mate!", I would be neither surprised nor offended. But if an Italian said it to me in Milan, out of the blue, it would be so out of context that I might well mishear or misunderstand it... and I'm white in a European country! I don't know if I'd be offended, but that would depend on what I thought he said.


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## dreamlike

boozer said:


> I was trying to explain that anyone attracting too much unsolicited attention might at a certain point snap.  If that was the case, and I do believe it may have been, the words 'Hey man!' are of no consequence. The phrase 's... o. a b....' is the least I could say in such case, and I can be very inventive, even by translating my mother-tongue curses (ranking among the world's worst  ) into English.


As far as we know, it was the words 'Hey man!' that made the man say what he said. We know nothing about his attracting unwanted attention, being stared at or whatnot, so you're just making assumptions and trying to justify a crude behaviour.


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## boozer

dreamlike said:


> ...so you're just making assumptions and trying to justify a crude behaviour.


Call it an educated guess. My father also visited China a couple of years ago but I am not going to tell his stories because he is not an African American.


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## dreamlike

boozer said:


> Call it an educated guess. My father also visited China a couple of years ago but I am not going to tell his stories because he is not an African American.


No matter what treatment he might have received earlier on, replying 'You son of a bitch!' to a potentially friendly greeting is inexcusable, sorry. Call it good manners.


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## Siebenlu

Thanks very much for all your answers! I do learn a lot from you guys. 

I venture to draw a conslusion here:
My student was totally a stranger to the man thus he shouldn't address a man in such a familiar way in China, which is not an English-speaking country. A simple word "Hello" will be more acceptable in such situation,

Please correct me if I'm wrong. Since it's time to clock out and I'm going home. Thanks again for your replies


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## boozer

dreamlike said:


> Call it good manners.


I can't. Good manners is a relative notion. In certain tribes good manners may mean sleeping with the host's wife and refusing to do so may be considered bad manners. I have heard of such tribes. 

We are talking about something that creates the context for this unfortunate exchange. Come to this, what business did the student have shouting 'Hey man!' to a complete stranger?  It may be good manners in China. It may be (and is) bad manners in most of the countries with Western mentality, including yours, I presume.  Mine for sure.

We may well be talking about cultural differences capable of eliciting unexpected response.


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## perpend

Hmmm ... no boozer. dreamlike is *right *on here, in my humble opinion.


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## Loob

Siebenlu said:


> ...
> I venture to draw a conslusion here:
> My student was totally a stranger to the man thus he shouldn't address a man in such a familiar way in China, which is not an English-speaking country. A simple word "Hello" will be more acceptable in such situation,
> 
> Please correct me if I'm wrong. Since it's time to clock out and I'm going home. Thanks again for your replies


That looks to me like a good summary, Siebenlu.  

The only thing I'd add is that, for some people, being addressed _at all_ by a stranger might well be disturbing.  It would also depend on the stranger: a twelve-year-old saying "Hello" would probably be considered cute; a forty-year-old man saying "Hello" might be seen as sinister....


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## Copyright

Siebenlu said:


> I venture to draw a conslusion here:
> My student was totally a stranger to the man thus he shouldn't address a man in such a familiar way in China, which is not an English-speaking country. A simple word "Hello" will be more acceptable in such situation,
> 
> Please correct me if I'm wrong. Since it's time to clock out and I'm going home. Thanks again for your replies


You're right about "Hello" and about your student's not taking any chances on using something informal to address a complete stranger, no matter what may be appropriate elsewhere. When in doubt, use the more polite, neutral terms available to you. 

*Added:* Cross-posted with Loob.


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## mathman

I think there is another possibility here. "Hei," (hei1, to be precise) in Chinese, means "black." Perhaps the person being addressed knew at least a little Chinese, and thought your student was saying "black man" to him. I think that addressing a stranger with dark skin in that way would be pretty offensive. Maybe this had happened to the person before, and he was tired of hearing it?


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## perpend

Hi, Siebenlu, So your student told you this story, that he said this to a black person?


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## blacktea

I think we may be forgetting that the student was only 12. Saying "sxx of a bxxxx" to a 12-year-old, or to anyone for that matter, just don't seem right.
I don't see how "hey man" in any situation, context can be offensive.
I mean, I've been yelled at, with racial remarks, on the street a number of times when I was studying abroad, and I did not "sxx of a bxxxx" back.


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## perpend

Amen, blacktea, Amen.


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## wuxsling

mathman said:


> I think there is another possibility here. "Hei," (hei1, to be precise) in Chinese, means "black." Perhaps the person being addressed knew at least a little Chinese, and thought your student was saying "black man" to him. I think that addressing a stranger with dark skin in that way would be pretty offensive. Maybe this had happened to the person before, and he was tired of hearing it?



and I can imagine that the student must be in a very happy mood then and said it cheerfully since he was trying to start a conversation by that ,or may be he consider it his responsebility to maintain the good China-Africa relationship by greeting Afican people nicely......
So , what do you think if a man address to a Afican people with the words "black man"(none others),and even more worse, with smile ..... and I think the ''You S...of B..ch" is no longer  inappropriate in this situation...
   But anyway it's a very good  question , I've never realised that before , and seems we should be careful about "hey" in china .... 
  By the way ,I 've acquainted a couple of African , they are very nice and unoffensive , but  do have the bravery to defend themselves when they were treated unjustly.


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## Cagey

This thread is drifting further and further from the language question.

It is now closed.  Anyone interested in the question should read the wide range of opinions here.

Cagey, moderator


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