# What does it mean to be "mature" in your culture?



## argentina84

I was struck by this question...and I would like to know how "mature" people are represented or characterized in different cultures. 

What does it mean to be "mature" in your culture? How do people behave to be considered "mature" people? How should people behave to be thought of as "mature" in your country?

Thanks!


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## kelt

Hey,

the only definition of being mature is the legal one. In the Czech Republic you are adult the day after you've reached your 18th birthday. Being an adult allows you to buy alcoholic beverages, or drive a car for example. Though you cannot apply for a gun licence or be elected to the parliament.

I doubt that my answer si what you were looking for, but I cannot give you a more precise response.

In my country, for example, people can be called mature if they have a job or a steady girlfriend. Or they live outside of their parents' house. Or did something major that proved their matureness.


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## mochilero

In England, as I understand it, 'mature' can have four different meanings:

1) someone is considered mature if their behaviour is concomitant with their age; in this case, 'immature' means behaving younger than your age;
2) it is a common euphemism for 'middle-aged' or 'old'; 'immature' is not used as an opposite in this case;
3) it can mean something like 'fully-developed', e.g. adult, or a mature wine; in this case 'immature' means 'childish' or 'not fully fermented';
4) it is applied to insurance policies and the like to mean that they have come to term;  'immature' is not used as an opposite in this case.


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## argentina84

kelt said:


> In my country, for example, people can be called mature if they have a job or a steady girlfriend. Or they live outside of their parents' house. Or did something major that proved their matureness.


 
In Argentina, you are an "adult" when you reach your 21st birthday, but that is not what I am looking for.

Yeah, people are called mature when they reach a certain age, get a job, live on their own and have a steady relationship....but...I still think there must be something more...I mean...a lot of people have the former requirements to be called "mature" and they are still inmature in my society. It has to do with your "intrapersonal intelligence" as Gardner said....I cannot put it accross exactly....

What's the right behavior at a certain age to be considered mature? Who states them? Don't you think that our globalized, capitalist society is an-inmature-people maker?


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## palomnik

The definition of maturity varies in different times as well as different places. Forty years ago in the USA you were "mature" when you left home and got a job. Before that you were a kid.

Now that doesn't apply. In fact, it's becoming difficult to even define maturity in the USA, although if I were forced to make a judgment it would be when you have finally stopped relying on your parents for material assistance.  I realize that a lot of people may take issue with that, since it seems to have become a cultural trend to live with your parents or rely on them for housing well into one's twenties, especially in expensive areas of the country like New York, Boston or San Francisco.

But what other criterion is there to judge maturity on, if not for being responsible for one's self?


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## lablady

Palomnik's comments reminded me of an article I read a while ago. There was a study that determined the milestones that many people in the US associate with achieving adulthood. According to this article, the average age people are finally "grown up" is 26 , or when they have completed all the milestones and are on their own with a job and a family. The full list of milestones: completing education, being employed full-time, becoming financially independent, living independently of parents, becoming married, having a child, and supporting a family.

In my parents' generation, all of those milestones were frequently reached well before age 26. Today, there are numerous unmarried and/or childless people in their late 20's (or later) who might take offense at being considered not yet "grown up".

Legally, a child becomes an adult at 18. There are many young people who, through their decisions and behavior, exhibit maturity at this very young age (and they do not need a spouse or child to seem grown up). Alternately, I also know a number of much older individuals whose actions appear to lack maturity.

I guess if I were to define maturity it would, like Palomnik said, be linked with responsibility.


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## EmilyD

There are people in this country who are financially independent, but not *emotionally *(or socially or affectively).

I refer to people who credit all their emotional woes or challenges on their parents, past guardians, "family of origin"s and even neighborhoods and tribes/ethnicities...

I think Maturity includes reaching a place of Serenity.

Far easier typed than lived!

There are some who are chronologically young and have not achieved certain milestones, but who convey Wisdom and Peace and (not leastly) Sense of Humor about Self.  I call those people *mature.

*_Nomi_


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## Tao

It's difficult for me to imagine maturity being driven by culture. I mean it's possible but is it right? Is it correct or just?

I prefer a scientific standpoint, or actually a philosophical one.

To have a steady job, to take responsibility for various things (like your children, your partner, and more things), and other typical things: is that really maturity?

I look at it differently. I would say that what I described just there is only a part of it.

There are enough people who have children whom they take care of, steady jobs, who are financially independent, and all of that, but they still aren't mature.

It's so easy to fall into conflicts that are caused by emotion and passion (and desires) (fear which is a strong one, anger, but even happiness too) to which they are more or less "slaves". Unfree people who are controlled by these factors, instead that they are in control of them. I call it immature.

There is also intellect to talk about. Intellectual maturity is also necessary. Not just to have control over emotions and those things, but also to have the capability to think clearly. To have a clear mind that isn't bothered by emotions, passions, and with them false reasoning. I have encountered people who are so educated in certain fields, yet they are still VERY emotional and especially prone to use false reasoning, subjectivity, and more of these things.

There is (actually it's more or less already kind of mentioned) also the ego of man. Things such as pride. To seek emotional security and gratification by doing all kinds things, even if they're wrong.

I think that true maturity is:
- financial maturity
- philosophical and intellectual maturity (wisdom, truth, peace, control of bothering emotions and passions, and such)
- social maturity (good relations and such)

Yes: I think that to be emotional is immature. With that I'm basically saying we humans are immature. And if we look at mankind, humanity, I see immaturity. A race that has been in conflict (for whatever reasons) ever since its existence, both in a small scale and a large scale. It is nature.


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## fenixpollo

argentina84 said:


> I still think there must be something more...I mean...a lot of people have the former requirements to be called "mature" and they are still inmature in my society. It has to do with your "intrapersonal intelligence" as Gardner said....I cannot put it accross exactly....


 It's also called Emotional Intelligence -- the degree to which you are aware of others' perceptions of your behaviors, and the degree to which you work to manage those perceptions.





palomnik said:


> But what other criterion is there to judge maturity on, if not for being responsible for one's self?


 The quality of one's dealings with other people. Using this criteria, I think the measure should be not if someone is mature or not, but how mature they are.





argentina84 said:


> What's the right behavior at a certain age to be considered mature? Who states them? Don't you think that our globalized, capitalist society is an-inmature-people maker?


 There's no age limit. Most people I deal with at work fit the following description: they learned how to deal with people when they were teenagers. They learned how to relate with their peers in a way that was different than the way they had when they were children. They formed what they conceive of as their "personality".  Most people decided, by the time they were in their early 20's, what they are like and how they want to deal with people. As they grow older, most people don't change the way they deal with people, because they see it as a static part of themselves -- who they are.  Therefore, most adults (even at age 40 or 50), still have the emotional intelligence of a 19-year-old, and they still deal with people in a post-adolescent way.  I'm sure you know people who, in their 40's, are still dealing with people in a PRE-adolescent way. 

On the other hand, there are people in their mid-20's and every other age, who are evolving as people and changing "who they are" and improving how they deal with people.  That evolution, to me, signals maturity.


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## argentina84

Thank you very much for all your answers..they are making me reflect upon my own ideas of what maturity means very much. 

I have met people who were older than me..but more inmature...and people much younger than me...who were more mature than me (for example..my sister  )

I bet this is something that we will never stop learning. 

Regards!


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## alexacohen

palomnik said:


> I realize that a lot of people may take issue with that, since it seems to have become a cultural trend to live with your parents or rely on them for housing well into one's twenties, especially in expensive areas of the country like New York, Boston or San Francisco.


 
Same in Spain. Many people don't leave home till they are well in their twenties, or even thirties. Many of them (I'm not talking about the ones who do it out of sheer necessity) have jobs and could try living on their own.
But they don't want to. Far easier to have everything done for them, and much cheaper! and what are mums for? 
They may be thirty five, have an executive job and earn a lot of money.
But inside they're just teenagers.


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## cuchuflete

argentina84 said:


> Don't you think that our globalized, capitalist society is an-inmature-people maker?



The main question having been addressed very well, I'll focus on that bit of ideological immaturity, if the term may be allowed.   Capitalist society, whether local or global, has faults and benefits.  One of the latter is that it promotes, through need, independence.  State owned and managed economies, whether of the far right or of the far left, remove many incentives to independent thought, action, and provision for one's own needs and wants.  

Both capitalist and non-capitalist societies are full of immature and of mature persons.   It has nothing to do with economic systems.


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## timpeac

mochilero said:


> In England, as I understand it, 'mature' can have four different meanings:
> 
> 1) someone is considered mature if their behaviour is concomitant with their age; in this case, 'immature' means behaving younger than your age;
> 2) it is a common euphemism for 'middle-aged' or 'old'; 'immature' is not used as an opposite in this case;
> 3) it can mean something like 'fully-developed', e.g. adult, or a mature wine; in this case 'immature' means 'childish' or 'not fully fermented';
> 4) it is applied to insurance policies and the like to mean that they have come to term; 'immature' is not used as an opposite in this case.


A couple more occur to me -

5) Sexually mature - "Fire flies mature at 8 days of age" (a made up example!!)
6) Ripe. Mature tomatoes/cheese etc (maybe similar to your point 3, but slightly different I think as in this context the inference is that if you leave it a little time longer they will be past their prime).


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## geve

EmilyD said:


> There are some who are chronologically young and have not achieved certain milestones, but who convey Wisdom and Peace and (not leastly) Sense of Humor about Self. I call those people *mature.*





fenixpollo said:


> On the other hand, there are people in their mid-20's and every other age, who are evolving as people and changing "who they are" and improving how they deal with people. That evolution, to me, signals maturity.


When I grow up I want to be mature like Fenix and Nomi. 
But then I read the dictionary entry on "maturité", and I realized every definition includes the word "ultimate", so I'm not sure after all.
I believe the word maturity can convey positive connotations (like those in the quotes above) but also negative ones: never-changing, totally un-fun, nothing new ahead. Maybe the proportion of positive and negative that we see in it is a cultural element.


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## housecameron

EmilyD said:


> I think Maturity includes reaching a place of Serenity.
> 
> Far easier typed than lived!
> 
> There are some who are chronologically young and have not achieved certain milestones, but who convey Wisdom and Peace and (not leastly) Sense of Humor about Self. I call those people *mature.*
> _Nomi_


 
This should be THE message!

Hi from the "motherland of childishness".

Let's say we don't use _to be mature_ very often.

When we say _a mature child/boy/girl_ it means that he/she behaves *older* than his/her age: serious, studious, careful, maybe boring.

_Mature man/woman_ usually refers to their age and look (around 50-60), not to their behaviour or wisdom.

Unfortunately it's hard to find a deeper meaning for this word in our present society, at least in my country.


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## EmilyD

This quote, attributed to *Flo Kennedy*, applies to _maturity_, too:
*
"Freedom is like taking a bath:  You got to keep doing it every day."

Grace Paley*, an activist, writer, mother and grandmother, died two days ago at age 84.  Her words and actions exemplified maturity and _grace_.

Nomi


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## Outsider

I think that maturity means different things to different people in most cultures, but if you want something cultural and linguistic, I think I will just note that the Portuguese word for "marriage" is _casamento_, which has its root in _casa_, "house". Apparently, our ancestors thought that being married (a sure sign of maturity) meant having one's own house. 

There is also a saying, _Quem casa quer casa_, "Those who marry want [or need] a house".


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## argentina84

Tao said:


> I think that true maturity is:
> Yes: I think that to be emotional is immature. With that I'm basically saying we humans are immature. And if we look at mankind, humanity, I see immaturity. A race that has been in conflict (for whatever reasons) ever since its existence, both in a small scale and a large scale. It is nature.


 
All your post called my attention. It is quite hard towards mankind, isn't it? According to this, nobody is actually completely "mature" . Or very few people.


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## Chamy

Hi! 

I'm quite late in this talk but I found it really interesting, so I'll add my little word! 

I just disagree a bit with Tao (but I take your view on the major part), I mean I don't think that feeling emotions is immature. I think that what is immature is not to be able to control its emotions and being driven by it. (maybe it's what you mean when you say "to be emotional"?)

And I would like to add that it's not because most of the people never reach the great maturity in its noble sense that it isn't possible to approach it little by little, for everybody who wants to and tries to. I far prefer keeping hope in humankind and I think that Tao, you're a bit bitter in your answer... maybe it's because I'm only twenty, but I still hope in human ability to progress in goodness!

In the French language, *maturity* has two connotations: 
_negative,_ as in Italian, I mean being boring, serious and old-minded 
_positive_: being responsible, able to take your own decisions after reflexion, being independant and open-minded, able to think by yourself... and it even can be a synonym for wisdom. A great challenge, isn't it?

Thanks for your question, Argentina84!

Chamy


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## vacnez

Hi people,

I wanted to add my way of thinking, maturity is a very subjective feature, everybody has there own notion of maturity.

So I don't think you can give a true definition of maturity, some say it is based on age, others on how you manage responsabilities, maybe on your social situation (kids, married, etc...) but still they will always be someone to consider you immature.

Maybe maturity is a way to ease our own jealousy or our own frustrations. After all, we usually consider someone immature because you clearly feel he has something better then you and you will try to find things he doesn't do but you do. Or maybe he does things you'd love to do but dare not. 

I have an immature friend, he's always trying to get women in his bed and he's 45! on my side I'm married and have 3 kids... what would make my friend less mature then I am?

I'm usually told immature because I still read a french magazine for kids (picsou mag, stories on Scrouge McDuck) why should this make me more immature then an others?

It's just a couple of illustration to show that maturity can't really be defined, just like good, evil, love...

I hope my post isn't too chaotic...


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## argentina84

Chamy said:


> Thanks for your question, Argentina84!
> Chamy


 
You are welcome Chamy! Fortunately, I was not shy and posted this thread...It has proved to be a very fruitfull (¿fructifero?) one. 

Mature people are the ones who never stop growing in all the aspects of their lives. It also implies responsability and commitment. 

Im fact, I think that all your ideas are right.


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## geve

argentina84 said:


> Im fact, I think that all your ideas are right.


That's very mature of you  not to seek one single, clearly expressed, definite answer. Sometimes one must relish the mere existence of a question.


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## oshin

Generally in india when people use the word "mature" they mean to say that now the person should get responsible.


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