# mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen (sic)



## suma

en mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !!

I stumbled upon this and I assume its Dutch. I was thrilled that I could make it out. Did I get it right? It says: and my grandmother has 2 testicles!! 100% growth hormone!!


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## NewtonCircus

Dag Suma,

This is very coarse language. My advice is not to use such phrases.

The word _teeltballen_ does not exist in my opinion and is either a typo or a pun in the sentence. Context is required to make sense of it. 

Groetjes Herman


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## bibibiben

I don't understand your comment, NewtonCircus. _Kloten _or _ballen _may be vulgar words, but _teelballen_ is a perfectly acceptable synonym for _testikels_. If someone's grandma, by some quirk of nature, happens to have testicles, I wouldn't discourage this person to say, "En mijn moeder heeft twee teelballen!" I would use fewer exclamation marks, though. (And check with grandma if it's allowed to reveal her secret.)


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## NewtonCircus

Dag bibibiben,



bibibiben said:


> I wouldn't discourage this person to say, "En mijn moeder heeft twee teelballen!"


I don't know of I'm the only one but I would. I can't imagine someone using such language, except maybe in 'Louis-Paul-Boon-style' literature. 

Groetjes Herman


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## suma

Well I don't speak Dutch at all. 
I was just asking was my guess at translating correct? Since it looked so much like English?


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## NewtonCircus

Dag suma, 

That depends on what is meant by _teeltballen_. The Dutch word for testicles is spelled as _teelballen_ instead of _teeltballen, _and if it is indeed a misspelling your translation "your grandma has (two) balls" as in testicles, would be correct.

The confusion comes however from the use of _twee_ and _teeltballen. _Since the Dutch word for cultivation is _teelt, _depending on the context is not that hard to imagine that grandma is just planting tulips  with two "cultivation bulbs", albeit expressed in a somewhat suggestive way. 

Groetjes Herman


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## bibibiben

suma said:


> Well I don't speak Dutch at all.
> I was just asking was my guess at translating correct? Since it looked so much like English?


 
Yes, your translation is completely correct. Dutch is a member of the West Germanic family tree, just like English, so there are quite some similarities. There are quite a few differences as well, as the English language has been exposed to Romance influences much more than Dutch. Not all sentences will be easy for you to translate, I’m afraid.



NewtonCircus said:


> That depends on what is meant by _teeltballen_. The Dutch word for testicles is spelled as _teelballen_ instead of _teeltballen,_ and if it is indeed a misspelling your translation "your grandma has (two) balls" as in testicles, would be correct.



_Teeltballen_ is a not so uncommon misspelling (or rather mispronunciation) for _teelballen_.



NewtonCircus said:


> The confusion comes however from the use of _twee_ and _teeltballen._ Since the Dutch word for cultivation is _teelt,_ depending on the context is not that hard to imagine that grandma is just planting tulips with two "cultivation bulbs", albeit expressed in a somewhat suggestive way.


 
Apart from it being unlikely, the word should have been _teelb*o*llen_ in that case. I’d say there’s no confusion at all.



NewtonCircus said:


> I don't know of I'm the only one but I would. I can't imagine someone using such language, except maybe in 'Louis-Paul-Boon-style' literature.




This would be rude, vulgar or coarse: Me grootje heb klote an d’r lijf hangen.
This is just a neutral statement: Mijn grootmoeder heeft twee teelballen.

You seem to imply that any conversation about genitals (using the correct medical terms) is rude or vulgar. I beg to differ. Not that I would talk about grandma’s sensitive secret to whomever I happen to see. No doubt Suma will be aware of that as well. Well, unless he or she is a five-year-old.


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## NewtonCircus

Dag bibibiben, 



bibibiben said:


> Apart from it being unlikely, the word should have been _teelb*o*llen_ in that case. I’d say there’s no confusion at all.


Unless the TS reveals the context, there is no way to be 100% sure. 



bibibiben said:


> You seem to imply that any conversation about genitals (using the correct medical terms) is rude or vulgar.


No, I don't. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I really don't see how _mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !!_ would be appropriate in a conversation with a M.D. Most would probably burst into laughter . 

Let's agree we disagree.

Groetjes Herman


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## bibibiben

Dag NewtonCircus,



NewtonCircus said:


> Unless the TS reveals the context, there is no way to be 100% sure.



_Bulb_ = _(bloem)bol_, never _bal_. So _teeltbal_, which is clearly either a misspelling or a mispronunciation, can never be interpreted as (_cultivation) bulb._But what if _teeltbol_ or _teelbol_ was the intended word? Not likely at all, as those words don’t even exist. So yes, we can be 100% sure.



NewtonCircus said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I really don't see how _mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !!_ would be appropriate in a conversation with a M.D. Most would probably burst into laughter.


 
Still, _mijn grootmoeder heeft twee teelballen_ is in itself a neutral expression. You know that. Suma, whom I expect to be a grown-up person from planet Earth, doesn’t need to be told to be easy on the exclamation points, not to blurt out stuff without giving any context or discuss any subject with any person he meets. What non-native speakers will need to know, though, is if words or expressions have undesirable connotations, cannot be freely used, have fallen out of use, are considered vulgar etc. For example, _teelballen _is interchangeable with _testikels _and is a safe word to use, _kloten_ is not.

Let’s first make sure that we’re talking about the same thing before agreeing to disagree.


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## AllegroModerato

suma said:


> en mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !!
> 
> I stumbled upon this and I assume its Dutch. I was thrilled that I could make it out. Did I get it right? It says: and my grandmother has 2 testicles!! 100% growth hormone!!



Correct. Any other interpretation would be a stretch. The growth hormone as well as the amount clearly suggest we´re dealing with testicles here.


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