# The one who's not meant to be



## Minha

Hi, everybody!

I would appreciate if anyone could tell me how to say in portuguese for someone who's not meant to be... like a girl telling a guy that the destiny was not on their side and even though he's the right one for her, he's just not meant to be... but more in a poetical way... how would a writer describe him in one word?

thanks a lot...


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## Vanda

Minha said:


> Hi, everybody!
> 
> I would appreciate if anyone could tell me how to say in Portuguese for someone who's not meant to be... like a girl telling a guy that the destiny was not on their side and even though he's the right one for her, he's just not meant to be... but more in a poetical way... how would a writer describe him in one word?
> 
> thanks a lot...



Welcome to the forums,  Minha, 

UAU!! One word????! Dificult! 

I can only think of: 
O destino não quis!


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## Minha

thanks a lot for the quick reply...  

I thought that it would go to that direction... but I still hoped it could be just one word...  to call that character by that name...

but however... 
THANKS, Vanda... I really appreciate...


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## Carfer

Well, if you really want just a word, maybe there's one, _'desencontro'_, but I'll have to explain to you why and actually you risk not being fully understood if you say it. Suppose two people that feel they are the right fit but one of them, or both, is married, has a family and doesn't want to give it up or for some other reason is unable to get involved with the other person, a situation where he or she could say, for instance, _'If I only had met you ten years ago!'._ Something like that. You may call it a '_desencontro_'. Anyway this word, which I don't think has an exact translation in English (_mismatch_ seems too ambiguous to me), refers to the situation, not to the person, so it may not be what you want.

Then, on a second thought and  because you also want a poetic word, why don't you say _'Foste um *sonho*!_' (_You were a dream_, literally) ?


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## Minha

Carfer,
that was exactly the situation I wanted to describe... ))
so, you're saying that _'desencontro'_ refers more to the situation, and not to the person?
What about if I use just the word 'sonho'... so the person is the other person's dream, right?
And could you, please, explain me more the word _'desencontro'_... on the first sight it looks like it's made out of two words (correct me if I'm wrong):
desenho - design, skatch (something planned, designed, as I see it) and
contro - counter, against, etc...

so, it's something that is counter a plan, a design, an imagination, right? 

anyway... THANKS A LOT...
you guys are amazing...
obrigado!!!


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## JJoaquim

Minha said:


> Carfer,
> that was exactly the situation I wanted to describe... ))
> so, you're saying that _'desencontro'_ refers more to the situation, and not to the person?
> What about if I use just the word 'sonho'... so the person is the other person's dream, right?
> And could you, please, explain me more the word _'desencontro'_... on the first sight it looks like it's made out of two words (correct me if I'm wrong):
> desenho - design, skatch (something planned, designed, as I see it) and
> contro - counter, against, etc...
> 
> so, it's something that is counter a plan, a design, an imagination, right?
> 
> 
> anyway... THANKS A LOT...
> you guys are amazing...
> obrigado!!!


 
Desencontro is the opposite of encontro (encounter, in English). The des part of the word is to give the opposite meaning.

If you call this person Desencontro, you’d be calling her "The encounter that never happened." I think it’d be perfect for what you want. It gives a sense of longing that seems to be what you’re looking for. It sounds very poetic. The expression desencontro amoroso is very used in Portuguese.
I hope you can soon call this person Encontro. J


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## Minha

oh... ok... I got it 

but you must admit my version sounded good as well... 
sorry, I'm new with this...  I don't speak portuguese... but I really wish I would... especially after I found out that my name has portuguese meaning (ok, maybe it's galician, but it's understandable.. )

anyway... thank you for your explanation... but now I'm a little bit confused why Carfer suggested that word 
it doesn't quite fit to my character, but thanks guys anyway...



just saw your second reply... 

ok... I'm gonny trust you with this... I shall call him Desecontro.. 
Desecontro Amoroso sounds soooo beautiful... 

thanks, again...


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## Carfer

Minha said:


> but now I'm a little bit confused why Carfer suggested that word


 
Out of personal experience, I'm sorry to say . (Well, just to be true and fair, being acquainted with romantic literature gave me a little hand too.)

JJoaquim thoroughly explained the word and I'd just like to add two notes: first, it's 'd_ese*n*contro_'; second, although I concur this is it's usual meaning, I think we should be cautious about translating '_encontro_' by '_encounter_' in this context because, as far as I know, the english word also conveys the meaning of an occasion when people have sex, usually with someone they have not met before (Cambridge ALD). This idea is absent from the portuguese word. Furthermore, '_encounter_' may also convey the idea of unexpectedness and unpleasantness which, again, the portuguese word does not imply. On the other hand, unpleasantness may be quite present in the _'desencontro amoroso', _as we all know, out of personal experience or, fortunately, just out of literary experience.


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## nowar

Minha said:


> Hi, everybody!
> 
> I would appreciate if anyone could tell me how to say in Portuguese for someone who's not meant to be... like a girl telling a guy that the destiny was not on their side and even though he's the right one for her, he's just not meant to be... but more in a poetical way... how would a writer describe him in one word?
> 
> thanks a lot...



If i got you meaning ... 

When the destiny was not favorable to a person whether in love or else one could call that person a "malfadado"
- Masc.: o malfadado.
- Fem.: a malfadada.

"Mal ~fado ~ado" literally means a "bad fated person".

As "fado" the Portuguese sad song type it's themes are usually and traditionally stuff like a love case when bad, the poor cripple woman who son was nuts and the husband a drunk... kind of!  

This could be use like:

Verb: malfadar  - to have/give/be a/in bad fate used without subject definition ie: "é o seu malfadar!" = it's his destiny/fate/bad luck!" 

Noum: fado (in context) "o meu fado é sofrer" = my fate is to suffer/to hurt

Adjective: "coitado do rapaz é mesmo malfado" = the poor guy is really unlucky" 

Note : in portuguese (latin languages) there are two words/concepts for either "good luck" and "bad luck" which are "sorte" and "azar" while in anglo languages the luck factor is caracterized by adjective therefore envolving attitude/action.
In portuguese this factors are close related to chance, supertition or chiristian destiny.

So ... in context :

Although the love affair had every thing to go, it went wrong ... the guy is really unlucky 
=
Apesar do romance ter tudo para resultar, algo correu mal ... o rapaz é mesmo malfadado

or

He strikes and strikes and he never hits  ... the guy is really unlucky 
=
Ele atira e volta a atirar e nunca acerta ... o rapaz é mesmo azarado


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## Minha

hmm... intersting...

but it's not like I wanted to say that the guy, as you call him "malfadado", has bad destiny... I rather wanted to give him a nickname (how the girl would have called him)... and through his nickname people would know that he is not her's destiny... for example, certain circumstances split them and they continued with their lives and met again after a very long time and found out that they are still a perfect match, but can't be together because one of them is married... and so I really thought of the girl giving him the nickname...

I'm not sure about opportunities in portugues language... but in my language we really have one simple world which refers to a person who's not meant to be for an other person...

so I looked in the dictionary for anything close to destiny (destino), or destined (destinado) but I'm not sure if I can use it for a person... and still not sure how to say opposite to destined...

after all... it seems like "desencontro" fits best... just not sure how it sounds in portuguese... does it sound cute, romantic like "sonho"... or is it just another boring word... 

anyway, THANK YOU ALL soooooooooooo much for helping me with this... I love the portuguese languge, and I really want to learn it someday... it's just hard when you're on your own...  but, now I have you guys... 

THANKS


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## Vanda

No, desencontro won't give that cute meaning you want, sorry to say that!
Anyway I think you'll have at least 2 words, not just one, if you want to give him a nick with that meaning.
Can you give us the word in your language with the meaning? Maybe we can create upon that.

I think of:
Sonho desfeito (a dream that was ruined)
Destino (again, as destiny implies good and bad things)

Well, have to work on other ideas.


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## nowar

Minha said:


> ...  found out that they are still a perfect match, but can't be together because one of them is married... and so I really thought of the girl giving him the nickname...



It's sounds like ...
"Amor impossivel" - Impossible love;
"Destino cruel" - cruel destiny;
"Alma gémea" - soul mate;
"Amor desencontrado" - Stray love;

Or "Amante .. " - lover.


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## Minha

thanks for an honest reply... between us women... 

you probably understand what I wanted to say and the cute note I wanted to add to his name... like a couple calling each other honey, darling, etc.

I'm not sure how the word in my language could help you... "Nesudjen" (nesuđen) literally means "The One Who's Not Meant To Be" (masc.)... where "sudbina" means "destiny", "sudjeno" means "destined" and "sudjen" refers to a person who's meant to be... "ne" is a simple negation...

I know slavic languages are pretty much different... but I even tried with german, my second languge... and I couldn't find an appropriate word either... eventhough I speak german as well as my native language...

I don't know how much you are familiar with the arabic language.. but they have one beautiful word for "meant to be"... which is "maktub" and literally it means "it is written" (estava escrito)..  I see you're from brasil, so you probably know the tv novela "o clone"...  it was very popular here in bosnia... 

anyway... "maktub" can be used just like "destino" for good and bad things... but in my opinion when you call someone "my destiny" then somehow it implies that the person was meant to be for you... and not that you are a perfect match but can't be together...  that's why I'm struggling so much... 

anyway... "sonho desfeito" sounds pretty nice to me... 

thanks


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## Minha

nowar...
"Alma gémea".... niiiiiiiiiiiiiice... 

I like it...


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## Vanda

Maktub was the word I first thought of, but as it is not Portuguese I let that aside.
Another word:
Destinado (and it can imply that was destined not to be)

Yes, Alma Gêmea is great! But it doesn't imply the part 'not to be', right?


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## nowar

Minha said:


> after all... it seems like "desencontro" fits best... just not sure how it sounds in portuguese... does it sound cute, romantic like "sonho"... or is it just another boring word...
> THANKS



So send him a verse like this :

O destino um dia nos juntou.
Um sonho de amor, o par perfeito !
E mesmo se vida nos desencontrou,
ficarás para sempre no meu peito

Translates to:
Fate put us together one day.
A love dream, we're soul mates!
Thou life made our love stray,
you are always in my chest


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## Minha

awww 
that's so cute

I will do that

btw, Vanda, you were right
I guess destinado doesn't sound bad at all
and if it can refer to a unlucky destiny then it's just perfect


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