# Reactions to flirting and more than flirting



## Eugens

Hello,

I have seen on the forum many threads regarding flirting: in what countries it is more common, what it consists of depending on where you are, etc. Nonetheless, I think not much has been said about how people are expected to react to flirting and other doings that perhaps are closer to harassment than plain flirting.

For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?

1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?

2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?

3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?

4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?

I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?

PS. Please correct my mistakes!


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## Layzie

4) Punch in the face.


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## .   1

The whole question relates to physical appearance and is as shallow as mascara.
In all situations effort would be made to avoid eye contact.
The aid of other people would be enlisted.
The creep would be brushed off as quickly and as painfully as possible.

.,,


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## maxiogee

Eugens said:


> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react?


You obviosuly haven't seen me. I'd direct the unfortunate person to the nearest optician.





> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?


I would probably be irrationally suspicious of their motives, and would imagine that I was about to be asked for money.




> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?


I would make haste to depart.



> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?


I would be rationally suspicious and would suspect that I was being softened up for a request for money.



> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?


Yes, and it wouldn't be polite. I would then leave.

I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?


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## )o(Akasha)o(

1) I would smile  always nice to get compliments if they are well said. like that one time a guy looked at me and said: didn't know flowers can walk. He made my day


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## nichec

Being a girl who's not usually so confident in herself and who's always trying to be very polite, I usually smile when things like this happen.

If someone says something nice to me on days that I'm really down and feeling ugly, I'm always really flattered. I remember one day when I first arrived to Paris, I wasn't all that happy because it's been quite hard to get used to the different life in Europe, a guy works in the mall passing by and saw me waiting in line to get inside the lady's room, he kept his friend waiting and run to me just to tell me that "vous etes magnifique" and then he immediately run back (after I said "merci" and gave him a smile), that really made my day, right there, right on the spot.

I normally appreciate it even more if the compliment comes from a lady...As far as I know, women are usually not so keen in passing good words to each other, so I tend to be really surprised and moved when that happen.

It doesn't really matter to me if the person is old or young, good looking or not, but if I sense that he wants to get further, maybe start a conversation or whatever, then my reaction depends a lot on my feeling towards that person. I know it's impossible to know someone in couples of minutes, but there's this thing called "women's intuition" or "women's six sense" so....In this kind of situation, I normally go very easy on ladys because I assume that they need some help with directions or other matters ( believe it or not, I once had a young girl stop me in Sephora to ask me just what kind of fundation am I using.....) I'll probably give the guy a few minutes to see if he's polite and not too shallow, or I'll make some excuses and leave.

Now what really bothers me is harassment. No one have ever dared to touch me so far, but I bumped into some people using very nasty words sometimes, excuse me to say, especially in Europe. I gave them a nasty look and run away. And I also don't like it when people come up to me when I'm with someone else, it seems quite impolite to me. Moreover, I can't stand the kind of men who's checking me out when their girlfriend is not paying attention....

All in all, it's nice to get compliments, but it would be even nicer if someone pay you a compliment not based on how you look, but who you are and what you have inside of you, as our very wise maxiogee observed: the kind of men who approach you only because of how you look....Are you sure that's the kind of men you want? So that will explain very well my reaction to flirting: delighted, polite, flattered, but always in doubt..

Gentlemen, I hope you find in this response what you are looking for 
For what it's worth, people don't flirt too much in Asia, so the reaction can be a bit strange. In America, people tend to flirt with the upmost politeness and self-protection, that makes somehow a win-win situation. As for Europeans, as far as I'm concern, they are flirting all the time, and no one takes it too seriously, so it eventually becomes some sort of a game that can get violent or ugly from time to time. But that's just my own observation.




Eugens said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have seen on the forum many threads regarding flirting: in what countries it is more common, what it consists of depending on where you are, etc. Nonetheless, I think not much has been said about how people are expected to react to flirting and other doings that perhaps are closer to harassment than plain flirting.
> 
> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?
> 
> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?
> 
> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?
> 
> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?
> 
> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?
> 
> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?
> 
> PS. Please correct my mistakes!


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## Etcetera

Hi Eugens!
That's a really interesting question! I'll try to answer it, but mind that I'm not going to speak for all Russian girls. Many of them wouldn't agree with me. 



Eugens said:


> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?


I'll keep on walking. In most cases, the compliment'maker will understand and won't try to continue the conversation. But if he continue... Well, I'd say, "Sorry, I'm in a hurry" or something like that. If he will be too persistent, I can call the nearest policeman.



> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?


I'll thank them, of course! It's really nice when someone says you something warm. But my response would also depend on the tone of the stranger.



> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?


I try not to speak with strangers and people whom I don't like. So, I'll just ignore him.



> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?


I don't like this kind of talk, if this happens in the street... To me, it would seem just suspicious. So, I'd say, "Sorry, I'm in a real hurry", and go away as fast as I can.



> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?


It depends on the situation  If this would happen in a crowded metro train, the best way is to say as loudly as possible, 'Mind your hands!' In the street, you can always give the stranger a disapproving look and quickly go away.

So, you see that I'm rather disapprobing of flirting in the street (it's not the place where I'd like to chat to people if they're not my friends!). But a lot of girls like it. Each to his taste.


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## danielfranco

Well, in my very personal and sorry case, I am so slow about figuring out when a woman actually "likes-me-likes-me" that women have to actually tackle me and rip off my pants with their teeth before I'm even aware that they're interested in me....
So, the two times this has actually happened, I've been *grateful.* And lucky, too, I guess...


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## Fernita

Eugens said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have seen on the forum many threads regarding flirting: in what countries it is more common, what it consists of depending on where you are, etc. Nonetheless, I think not much has been said about how people are expected to react to flirting and other doings that perhaps are closer to harassment than plain flirting.
> 
> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?
> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?Personally, I would smile to the stranger and maybe say "thank you". Period.
> 
> 
> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something? I would just ignore him.
> 
> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting? I would lend him my lighter if I´m not in a hurry but wouldn´t keep up a conversation.
> 
> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something? Yes, I would probably say "Hey! Excuse me, are you nuts?"
> 
> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude? I would never slap anybody in the street because I don´t know what his reaction could be. What if he becomes violent? My reaction wouldn´t depend on the age or sex.
> 
> PS. Please correct my mistakes!


People react in different ways according to their own instincts. Nowadays, it´s not safe to keep up a conversation with a stranger in the street. I must admit I´ve done it not in the street but in a restaurant or a shop, in places where I feel safe.


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## Victoria32

Eugens said:


> Hello,
> 
> I have seen on the forum many threads regarding flirting: in what countries it is more common, what it consists of depending on where you are, etc. Nonetheless, I think not much has been said about how people are expected to react to flirting and other doings that perhaps are closer to harassment than plain flirting.
> 
> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?


It would depend on how I was feeling, whether I was in a hurry, who the stranger was - (young/old, tidy/derelict etc), and how he said it. Someone much older than me would get an odd look, much younger and I would suspect he was drunk, someone from another country would get a free pass, I would assume he didn't know he was freaking me out...



Eugens said:


> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites to you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?


I would probably say "thank you," (and that has happened to me, and I was really pleased!) 



Eugens said:


> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?


It would depend where I was - if I was alone somewhere and felt vulnerable, I would say nothing, but if I was in a shopping mall or the like, I would say something. 



Eugens said:


> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have a light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?


Once again, it depends on the stranger. Is he sober, and friendly? Yes, then I would talk... because I generally do. 



Eugens said:


> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?


See my answers for number 2 - it's the same.



Eugens said:


> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?
> 
> PS. Please correct my mistakes!


Definitely it would depend on the stranger's age/sex and appearance! When I was 17 I was approached _twice in a sexual way,_ by women, which was pretty scary for me, as I wondered what I was doing to atract them.. being as I am a woman myself. 
When I was 17, I thought I was bullet-proof, and luckily in at least one case, my parents didn't, and intervened with one man who was stalking me as I went to my job... 
You have no mistakes Eugens, but I have put in one definite and one indefinite article to make what you have written flow better..


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## don maico

_someone from another country would get a free pass, I would assume he didn't know he was freaking me out...
_ isnt that known as xenophobia?


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## Chaska Ñawi

don maico said:


> _someone from another country would get a free pass, I would assume he didn't know he was freaking me out...
> _ isnt that known as xenophobia?




I prefer the word "tolerance", or "open-mindedness".


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## ireney

It's not my buisness but I think Victoria32 means that that kind of thing freaks her out anyway, no matter who does it; if the person doing it is from abroad she will let it pass giving him the benefit of the doubt (different culture etc).



> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?



Definitely walk on. If it was night and I was alone I may select to suffer an attack of selective hearing and pretend I didn't hear him at all. Usually though I am also rolling my eyes for good measure even at nights.



> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?




Depends. We have a saying "The mad man saw the drank man and he got scared". If the other one is drunk I will pretend I didn't hear anything at all. This actually goes for all cases. If the compliment is witty it will probably earn him a smile and that's it.  Poetry will mean that he is a foreigner btw.



> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?


 
I don't bother answering. Such persons seem somehow to consider any kind of answer an invitation for more. It doesn't happen really because bystanders of the male persuasion usually interfere (I had the opportunity, just yesterday, to see a well muscled young man who talked that way to a young lady, being cornered by some 5 quite old gentlemen who were sitting in a nearby bus station).



> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?



Either he is flirting me using very boring lines in which case I'm not interested so after having lighted his cigarette I do my impression of the Sphinx or he wants something else (money i.e.) in which case I do my impression of a Sphinx  (the one in Egypt by the way; I don't mean asking inane riddles and then having a snack)



> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?



Has happened only once in a bar so I am not sure how I would react in any other case. Being in a bar I used all the force I could muster to slap him twice. Others interfered after that.



> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?



Most women I know would react in a similar way. I have only been flirted by a woman once but she was a really polite yet very drunk one (which means she was apologising and after a while was starting all over again). At the end I must admit I was ready to shout to her so I decided (since shouting to a drunk person isn't accomplishing anything) to search around for any of her friends. Found some and asked them to take care of her.

In this case however, I am not sure how most women would react.

I know that men having their behind touched feel extremely awkward if it's a woman doing it (even if that woman is their wife) and  furious if it is a man (I am talking about heterosexuals).

I haven't discussed the butt touching aspect of "flirting" (really! that is NOT flirting) with any homosexual


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## don maico

_It's not my buisness but I think Victoria32 means that she that kind of thing freaks her out anyway, no matter who does it; if the person doing it is from abroad she will let it pass giving him the benefit of the doubt (different culture etc)._

Ok I see what you mean!


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## Cereth

1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"? mm..It depends I think I would smile (as long as it is a young person).. I don´t like that dirty old men try to act like Donjuan with me ... 

2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something? mm..most of the time I ignore them, but I sometimes I look at their faces and say: Don´t be so stupid, leave alone, cállate imbécil and so on...

3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?..This is so common!!...I did not how to act before because I didn´t want to be rude -due to the fact that I wasn´t sure if He was flirting or not-...but after many of these experiences I just walk faster or say : sorry I´m busy have a nice day.

4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something? No doubt : I will Punch his face, I have done it and I will do it again! but the worst time happened when I was sleeping in the bus and when I woke up the man next to me was masturbating!!, the bus was full of people and they were all seing with their arms crossed..I stood up and slaped and punched his face


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## geve

Cereth said:


> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"? mm..It depends I think I would smile (as long as it is a young person).. I don´t like that *dirty old men *try to act like Donjuan with me ...


What if they're clean?  
Seriously, can't someone with a significant age difference tell a compliment? This doesn't necessarily mean they're flirting (which I don't deny can also happen of course).


1) I'll say thank you, because if I don't, the compliments can quickly turn into insults. 

2) Ignore it. The guy (not to be sexist, but vulgar comments usually come from men) is precisely expecting me to get angry.

3) It depends on the person, what his/her motivations seem to be, his/her looks and attitude, the time of the day, the topic that he/she raises, if I'm in a hurry or in a bad mood... Most of the times, I will just quit politely, but the fact that someone adresses you in the street, doesn't mean that it's a pervert! (ok, there are many perverts, but still  )

4) Before doing or saying anything I would need to evaluate how much harm he/she can do to me, and what time it is/how busy is the street.


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## .   1

don maico said:


> _someone from another country would get a free pass, I would assume he didn't know he was freaking me out..._
> isnt that known as xenophobia?


I think that it is the utter opposite to xenophpobia.
This is not an unreasonable fear of someone different.  It displays a wonderful acceptance and a brave person.

.,,


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## Eugens

Thank you all very much for your responses. Thank you especially, Victoria32, for taking the time to correct my mistakes. 

When a stranger says something to me on the street, I generally just keep on walking, don't even look, as if I'm not hearing anything. However, I must admit, like some of you have said, that when you are having a really bad day, it's nice to hear someone, even a stranger, saying something nice to you. But not even in those cases do I look in the stranger's direction. I'm too shy for that.

The thing is that this poses a problem to me. The other day I was walking alone on the street. My father was driving by in his car, spotted me and started calling me out. As I'm used to not even diverting my gaze when walking alone, I kept on walking a couple of blocks without looking. He kept calling me. Embarrassed, I finally turned around. Imagine my surprise when I realised he was my dad! I felt a bit stupid. From now on, I will surrepticiously glimpse when someone calls me out on the street.

The situation about the man asking me for a light actually happened to me some weeks ago. Yes, he was sober and he seemed friendly. I was waiting for the traffic lights to change to cross the street. He asked me for a light, I told him I didn't smoke. I thought there was nothing strange in that. But then he kept on talking about how he was trying to quit smoking by eating a lot of carrots, asking me why I didn't smoke, if I thought that the method of eating carrots was a good one to quit smoking, that his hands had turned yellow from eating so many carrots, etc. At this point, I got nervous and just wished for the traffic lights to change. Perhaps he just was looking for small talk, I don't know. As soon as the lights turned red, I quickly walked away.

I asked you what you would do if someone touched your butt, because I don't really know what to do. I just run away as soon as I can. I don't say anything because I don't want to make a scandal. I don't punch them for the same reason and because I don't consider myself strong enough to do that. So I just escape and I just feel kind of stupid, weak and vulnerable. I just wanted to know what you think it would be the best to do. Shout something?

The other thing is that the ones who say something to you on the street are not usually the prettiest boys. They are usually quiet. I suppose that's because they don't need to do anything special to attract girls' attention.


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## .   1

The rest of the flirting can be seen as a way of trying to make contact with a stranger but...

Is butt touching by strangers acceptable behaviour anywhere?

.,,


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## Eugens

. said:


> The rest of the flirting can be seen as a way of trying to make contact with a stranger but...
> 
> Is butt touching by strangers acceptable behaviour anywhere?
> 
> .,,


No, not certainly here. But I'm not sure what to do either. Punch them? I don't like that.


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## Honeypum

Eugens said:


> Hello,
> 
> Well, as you are also argentinian, you know pretty well that these kind of situations take place on a daily basis (the same happens in Italy, I went there in January and I felt I was in Buenos Aires; here in Spain men are more shy). The way I react (and also most of my friends -argentinians-) is the following:
> I
> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?
> Just smiling, not saying nothing and keep walking. I never say "thank you", for example, I just smile.
> 
> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?
> I ignore him, as if he were the wind...
> 
> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?
> If I'm not in a hurry, I'll probably keep up the conversation as long as his real intentions don't show up. In the minute he says something that sounds like flirting, I say I'm in a rush (even if I like him, "women" things  )
> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?
> If he touched my butt, I would say to him "Stupid, what are you doing! You silly!". Once it happened to me in a night club and I slapped his face (and unfortunately, he was not the right guy  ) but now that I'm older, I would only say sth to him (not slapping him).


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## don maico

Highly unlikely but if were to happen I would smile


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## nichec

I'm not so sure about the "just ignore them" part....As geve mentioned, in my experience, they can get really upset. I was once walking along La Seine on a summer afternoon, there were two very tall and strong young men talking to each other, they somehow spotted me and started walking beside me and talking to me....I chose to ignore them that time because they didn't seem too friendly, and very soon their compliment became insult....

No one have ever dared to touch my butt, but I do remember when I was still in high school, one day I was waiting for the bus with my sister, A middle-aged man suddenly showed up in front of us with his front totally exposed, we didn't scream or anything mostly because we were too shocked....But everyone told us later that it's the right thing to do since all that they want is attention, so if you don't give them any, there's nothing much they can do........

And the episode with your Dad, I had one too....I was very close to La Sorbonne one day, in a rush to go to school, someone kept shouting some compliments behind me, I was too shy to look back, and finally "the voice" followed me to the school because it was one of my new female classmates....She kept teasing me about that in the weeks to come....

And I think you are right when you say that pretty boys usually don't do that, even though I'm not sure about the reason why. But hey, "Beauty is only skin deep", right?


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## Paulfromitaly

maxiogee said:


> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please.
> 
> Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking?



Basically yes, it would. It'd take no more than one minute for a bloke to piss me well off in the above mentioned situation, whereas I'd be more indulgent with a stunner..



> Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her?



Again, yes. I'd never be rude or unkind with elderly, whereas my reaction could also be quite aggressive towards people of my age or younger.




> the stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?



Well..the stranger's sex would be determinant in whether I decide to slap (her) or punch(him).



I really want to thank you Tony for your post..I can't help pissing my pants laughing each time I read it..


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## Setwale_Charm

maxiogee said:


> You obviosuly haven't seen me. I'd direct the unfortunate person to the nearest optician.
> 
> 
> 
> I would probably be irrationally suspicious of their motives, and would imagine that I was about to be asked for money.
> 
> 
> I would make haste to depart.
> 
> I would be rationally suspicious and would suspect that I was being softened up for a request for money.
> 
> Yes, and it wouldn't be polite. I would then leave.
> 
> I would like to know what you would do if you were to face these situations (we are talking of a different person in each case of course), how you think most people in your country react to these situations or what you have done if some of them (or something similar to them) actually happened to you. I would like to know the opinion of both men and women, please. Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking? Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her? The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?


 
Here is an Irishman speaking!!


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## Setwale_Charm

Etcetera said:


> Hi Eugens!
> 
> I'll keep on walking. In most cases, the compliment'maker will understand and won't try to continue the conversation. But if he continue... Well, I'd say, "Sorry, I'm in a hurry" or something like that. If he will be too persistent, I can call the nearest policeman.


Etcetera, what are you talking about??!! Are you in Russia or when was the last time you were there? Russian police will never bother with matters like and just make fun of you. Russian policemen are so infamous for raping girls that come into their hands themselvses, that if you ever encounter one that helps, please contact me! I will make a footnote dedicate to him in every report. Although, in the eyes of the wider public this person would probably be asking for medical treatment.


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## Chazzwozzer

Eugens said:


> For example, if you were walking on the street in your country and a stranger passing by said to you "Hello, beautiful" or "You are good-looking", how would you react? Would you just keep walking, looking straight-on as if you were only hearing the wind rustling the leaves? Would you give the stranger a mute angry stare? Would you smile to the stranger? Would you say to him/her "thank you for the compliment"? Would you say to him/her "mind your own business"?



I'll keep walking on. Because I know then a gypsy will try to sell me some flower.

I'll tell you how my female friend reacted to a guy who said to her: "Oh, look at that ass! Come over here, you pretty" She simply answered him by saying: "I hate all men, you're all the same! Jerks!"

I was a little bit further and when I turned back to calm her, the guy run away.



Eugens said:


> 1) What if a stranger says to you something really nice? If he/she pays you a wonderful compliment one day you are feeling particularly down and ugly? What if he/she recites you a beautiful piece of poetry? Would you say "thank you"?



Exactly. Say thank you and keep walking.



Eugens said:


> 2) What if a stranger says to you something really vulgar? Would you ignore him/her or say something?



Never say something just ignore him because otherwise it never ends.



Eugens said:


> 3) What if a stranger starts talking to you and you are not sure if he/she is flirting with you or not? You are walking on your own and she/he approaches you, starts walking by you and asks you if you have light for her/his cigarette and then starts talking about her/his wanting to quit smoking, about why s/he can't, the methods s/he tried, etc. Would you politely keep up the conversation or say you are not in the mood for chatting?



Keep up the conversation unless if I don't sense something wrong.



Eugens said:


> 4) What if a stranger touches your butt? Would you do something or escape from the place as rapidly and silently as you can? Would you say something?


Depends on if they are female or male. If male, I'd run away! Because then I know where they are going to touch and ask for. _(Yes, one man in my town was arrested for this crime: molestation.)_

If stranger is a female, then it's OK. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.




> Would your reaction depend on whether you find the stranger good-looking?


 Quite possibly, yes.



> Would it depend on the age difference between you and him/her?


 Yes.



> The stranger's sex would be determinant in whether you decide to slap him/her for being rude?


 I try to be nice. Their sex does not matter in this case.



> Is butt touching by strangers acceptable behaviour anywhere?


 Touching butt homosexually in a usually humurous way is acceptable among friends. But it's never acceptable if it is a stranger, at least for my city.


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## Setwale_Charm

Chazzwozzer said:


> I'll keep walking on. Because I know then a gypsy will try to sell me some flower.
> 
> I'll tell you how my female friend reacted to a guy who said to her: "Oh, look at that ass! Come over here, you pretty" She simply answered him by saying: "I hate all men, you're all the same! Jerks!"


 
 I would probably comment back on his not being in any way attractive. In a VERY succinct way! Or, in Russia I would often compare the man who is obtrusively trying to get off with me, with his foreign counterparts...NOT in his favour...I know that that is one thing that really makes Russians angry and that`s a good way of getting rid of idiots...well, there are ways.


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## Poetic Device

Examples:

"That shirt really brings out the colour of your eyes."  Good
"If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?"  Prepare to die.

Grabbing me--  Prepare to die.

Singing to me or reciting poetry to me--  Now you're just wierd.....  Eww


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## Setwale_Charm

Poetic Device said:


> Examples:
> 
> "That shirt really brings out the colour of your eyes." Good
> "If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?" Prepare to die.
> 
> Grabbing me-- Prepare to die.
> 
> Singing to me or reciting poetry to me-- Now you're just wierd..... Eww


 

   Admire you, Poetic device!!


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## Chazzwozzer

Setwale_Charm said:


> I would probably comment back on his not being in any way attractive. In a VERY succinct way!


I believe they do this just to make fun of people, not to attract them and they really like it if girls come back to him, no matter what she says. So it's no use to tell them how idiot they are.


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## Poetic Device

That may very well be the case in Turkey, but unfortunately a lot of the males in the United States think that behaviour is very becomming.


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## Setwale_Charm

Chazzwozzer said:


> I believe they do this just to make fun of people, not to attract them and they really like it if girls come back to him, no matter what she says. So it's no use to tell them how idiot they are.


 

The worst thing is: they would go mad with anger if somebody does it to their own sisters, daughters or girlfriends.

 Poetic device, they should simply adopt the law, the same as in the UK, which would make it a criminal offence. I believe, this would change the situation radically. Although pigs remain pigs for life, unfortunately.


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## Poetic Device

Setwale_Charm said:


> The worst thing is: they would go mad with anger if somebody does it to their own sisters, daughters or girlfriends.
> 
> Poetic device, they should simply adopt the law, the same as in the UK, which would make it a criminal offence. I believe, this would change the situation radically. Although pigs remain pigs for life, unfortunately.


 
I agree with you that there should be some form of federal boundary however if that were to be the case it would be an infringement on our first constitutional right.  I mean, yes it's rather irritating when they hoot and holler like a bunch of apes, but as long as they don't grab me (which IS an offense) they aren't really doing any harm, but that's another topic all in itself.


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