# "정" 그리고 "사랑"



## coffee99

여러분 안녕하세요?

궁금한게 하나가 생겼는데요...정과 사랑의 차이점은 뭔가요? 

혹시 시간인건가요? 가령, "시간이 지나면서 정이 생겼다"라고 할수있죠? 다시 말한다면 정을 느끼려면 시간이 좀 필요하죠? 그런데 사랑은 첫만남에도 빠질수도 있겠죠? 말이 되나요?

또 다른 점이 있나요? 

감사합니다!


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## Environmentalist

Hi, Coffee99.

To simply put it, 정 is what you can feel maintaing close relationships with others.
If you feel attached to someone because you think he/she is nice or friendly or important, you are feeling 정.
If you are in love with someone, you of course are feeling 정.

In the context of the Korean society, 정 usually makes you have sympathy for others or makes it hard for you to refuse others.
This seems to be good stuff, but it sometimes spawns irregularities and injustices.
For example, say a friend of yours (and very very close) did you a huge favor when you were in need. And he/she asked you for support in his/her dishonest or immoral business. Here, you started feeling like you have to be grudgingly involved in the business because you owe your close friend a lot.
This is also a kind of 정 we refer to in Korea. Technically, this is more of a friendship (우정 in Korean).
Yes, there is also the 정 in 우정.
It could sound quite weird to you, but 정 took a lot of roles.

Oh, I almost forgot!
As for your question, you are definitely right!
정 often requires a little time to settle down in your heart.

I hope more people pipe up about this word 정!


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## coffee99

Hi Environmentalist,

Thank you so, so much for your answer - it's very helpful. 정 is such an interesting word/concept! 질문이 너무 많아서 죄송해요 ㅠㅠ

I'm curious... if 정 takes time to develop, how can you call the feeling (or empathy maybe) you have for strangers? For example, if you see a homeless person on the street, or a person in pain and feel something for them 같은 인간으로서... could that also be 정? Or is that something different because you don't have a close relationship with them?

And also, is it possible to have 정 without 사랑? For example, if you break up with someone, but you still care about them or are still angry with them, is that feeling called 정? 예를 들어, 남자친구랑 헤어지고나서 마음에서 뭔가 남아있겠죠~ 그 사람을 미워하고나 사랑에 빠지지않아도 그 사람에 대해서 걱정한다...그것은 정이라고 해요??

Thank you for your time and help!


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## i5369

coffee99 said:


> Hi Environmentalist,
> 
> Thank you so, so much for your answer - it's very helpful. 정 is such an interesting word/concept! 질문이 너무 많아서 죄송해요 ㅠㅠ
> 
> I'm curious... if 정 takes time to develop, how can you call the feeling (or empathy maybe) you have for strangers? For example, if you see a homeless person on the street, or a person in pain and feel something for them 같은 인간으로서... could that also be 정? Or is that something different because you don't have a close relationship with them?
> 
> And also, is it possible to have 정 without 사랑? For example, if you break up with someone, but you still care about them or are still angry with them, is that feeling called 정? 예를 들어, 남자친구랑 헤어지고나서 마음에서 뭔가 남아있겠죠~ 그 사람을 미워하고나 사랑에 빠지지않아도 그 사람에 대해서 걱정한다...그것은 정이라고 해요??
> 
> Thank you for your time and help!



In my opinion, when we're expressing "the feeling we have for strangers such as homeless person", Koreans use '동정' and '동정심', in which '심' is '心' in Chinese character meaning 'heart/feeling'
(There're different types of 정, and 동정 is one type of 정)


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## i5369

coffee99 said:


> Hi Environmentalist,
> 
> Thank you so, so much for your answer - it's very helpful. 정 is such an interesting word/concept! 질문이 너무 많아서 죄송해요 ㅠㅠ
> 
> I'm curious... if 정 takes time to develop, how can you call the feeling (or empathy maybe) you have for strangers? For example, if you see a homeless person on the street, or a person in pain and feel something for them 같은 인간으로서... could that also be 정? Or is that something different because you don't have a close relationship with them?
> 
> And also, is it possible to have 정 without 사랑? For example, if you break up with someone, but you still care about them or are still angry with them, is that feeling called 정? 예를 들어, 남자친구랑 헤어지고나서 마음에서 뭔가 남아있겠죠~ 그 사람을 미워하고나 사랑에 빠지지않아도 그 사람에 대해서 걱정한다...그것은 정이라고 해요??
> 
> Thank you for your time and help!



Q. (Your question) "And also, is it possible to have 정 without 사랑? For example, if you break up with someone, but you still care about them or are still angry with them, is that feeling called 정? 예를 들어, 남자친구랑 헤어지고나서 마음에서 뭔가 남아있겠죠~ 그 사람을 미워하고나 사랑에 빠지지않아도 그 사람에 대해서 걱정한다...그것은 정이라고 해요??"

A clear distinction between '정' and '사랑' is almost impossible because the meaning of those words depends on specific contexts, and also there are various types of '정' and '사랑' depending on targets (other person, things, etc.). Let's think of this example. If someone broke up with a lover but still have some feeling, positive feeling that still misses him/her can be called as '그리움' rather than '정'; however, some negative feeling that hates, or even curses the ex-lover can be called as '애증'.


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## coffee99

Hi i5369!

So sorry for the late reply. Thank you for your explanations and for helping me understand more about this word 정.


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## i5369

coffee99 said:


> Hi i5369!
> 
> So sorry for the late reply. Thank you for your explanations and for helping me understand more about this word 정.



천만에요 It's absolutely fine.


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## Hit Girl

coffee99 said:


> 여러분 안녕하세요?
> 
> 궁금한게 하나가 생겼는데요...정과 사랑의 차이점은 뭔가요?
> 
> 혹시 시간인건가요? 가령, "시간이 지나면서 정이 생겼다"라고 할수있죠? 다시 말한다면 정을 느끼려면 시간이 좀 필요하죠? 그런데 사랑은 첫만남에도 빠질수도 있겠죠? 말이 되나요?
> 
> 또 다른 점이 있나요?
> 
> 감사합니다!



Hello coffee,

You're absolutely correct. That is one huge difference between 정 and 사랑.
정 is something you develop over time, towards something or someone that has grown on you.

It could be sometimes likened to 'attachment'. For example:
- I've used this little Hello Kitty pencil case since I was a child. I cannot throw it away because 너무 정이 들었기 때문에.
- 5년 동안 살면서 정이 든 마을을 떠나는 게 너무 슬퍼요.

You can also feel 정 toward someone you don't really like, especially at the very beginning.
But when they're gone, you kinda miss them because 나도 모르는 사이에 정이 들었는지. ---> this one is called '미운정' as opposed to '고운정'

So yeah, time is an essential ingredient in developing 정.


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