# あなたがいなくて寂しいです in formal language



## diogovk

Is there a more formal way to say: あなたがいなくて寂しいです ?

I want to say "I miss you" to an ex-teacher which I really liked and I wonder if it's too intimate.


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## akimura

The use of あなた seems to be a factor in making your sentence indicate a little intimacy.  As you are meaning to address to your ex-teacher, I would recommend using 先生（sensei） in place of あなた, as in  先生がいなくて寂しいです.  It sounds perfectly fine, neither too formal nor too intimate.


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## shibazakura

akimura said:


> The use of あなた seems to be a factor in making your sentence indicate a little intimacy.  As you are meaning to address to your ex-teacher, I would recommend using 先生（sensei） in place of あなた, as in  先生がいなくて寂しいです.  It sounds perfectly fine, neither too formal nor too intimate.



How about "先生がいなくて、寂しくなっていますよ”, Akimura san? I just wonder if it sounds ok in Japanese.
Thanks in advance


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## akimura

shibazakura san,
"先生がいなくて、寂しくなっていますよ" doesn't sound natural enough to native Japanese speakers, although we can understand what it means.  "寂しくなっています" seems to work fine with an inanimate object.  Let's say your ex-teacher was a PE teacher, then you might say, "先生がいなくて、校庭は寂しくなっています (Without _sensei_, the school playground feels like something missing)."

I hope it helps.


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## shibazakura

Thanks much.
So, in the structure l "S+ は＋ adj + なっている/なる”, S should be inanimate object or it's just work with "寂しい”


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## akimura

shibazakura san



shibazakura said:


> Thanks much.
> So, in the structure l "S+ は＋ adj + なっている/なる”, S should be inanimate object or it's just work with "寂しい”



It seems it depends on both structures and word choices.  Actually, "先生がいないと寂しくなる（なります" is perfectly okay, where you are predicting a future, unhappy situation without your teacher.  If you want to mention that you are presently unhappy without your teacher, "先生がいないと寂しくなっている（います）" doesn't work well.  Instead, "先生がいないと寂しいです" is perfect about the present, unhappy situation.

However, if you are to choose a different word instead of 寂しい, say, 美しい, the structure you are talking about seems to work fine both with future and present situations; namely, その娘は美しくなります (the young woman will become beautiful) and その娘は美しくなっています　(the young woman has become beautiful) are both fine.


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## YangMuye

I think when you want to express your emotion in Japanese, you will usually chose one from these three forms in most situations:
～だ
~い(adjective)
～た(past form)

I feel that 寂しくなっている is usually used to convey the fact rather than the emotion.


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## shibazakura

akimura said:


> shibazakura san
> 
> 
> 
> It seems it depends on both structures and word choices.  Actually, "先生がいないと寂しくなる（なります" is perfectly okay, where you are predicting a future, unhappy situation without your teacher.  If you want to mention that you are presently unhappy without your teacher, "先生がいないと寂しくなっている（います）" doesn't work well.  Instead, "先生がいないと寂しいです" is perfect about the present, unhappy situation.
> 
> However, if you are to choose a different word instead of 寂しい, say, 美しい, the structure you are talking about seems to work fine both with future and present situations; namely, その娘は美しくなります (the young woman will become beautiful) and その娘は美しくなっています　(the young woman has become beautiful) are both fine.



Thanks for your detail explanation, akimura san.


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## Tonky

YangMuye said:


> I feel that 寂しくなっている is usually used to convey the fact rather than the emotion.


I think you brought up a good point there. Maybe more like "state" of the subject rather than calling it a "fact".
～くなる expresses a change in state and not emotions. The issue with ～ている here is the aspect of it being *continuous* instead of *progressive*, as though most non-native speakers tend to think of "missing" as progressive.走る run → 走っている *progressive*, be running
落ちる fall → 落ちている *continuous*, has fallen (落ちた→落ちた状態）
寂しくなる become lonely/deserted → 寂しくなっている *continuous*, has become lonely/deserted　（寂しくなった状態）​When ～ている is used for continuous aspect, it explains the condition or the result state（結果の状態） of the subject in general, I think. That is probably why （その娘は）美しくなっている sounds okay (I still find it awkward without context though) while （私は）寂しくなっている doesn't.


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## YangMuye

Tonky said:


> I think you brought up a good point there. Maybe more like "state" of the subject rather than calling it a "fact".


I hesitated a long time before pressing the “post” button. I simply think it's a matter of modality. The speaker expresses his emotion not because the listener want to know or need to know but for some other reasons(分かってほしい、分かってくれるとうれしい).


When I wrote that post, I first thought that ～だ/～い/～た ware usually used to share one's first-hand experience rather than to state an abstract fact. (体験をそのまま伝える)
But I immediately realized that, ている could be used for the same purpose too.
To not complicate the question, I ended up with a general rule: don't use ている to express your emotion. I think it generally works.




Tonky said:


> ～くなる expresses a change in state and not emotions.


I think くなる can be used to express emotions. Actually many usages of に・くなる do not require subjects, just like many 助動詞s such as ようだ.

あなたがいないと部長は寂し*がっている*。なんだか私も寂し*くなってきた*。
I think you don't say 部長は寂しくなった・ている.
部長は寂しいと思っ*ている*。私もちょっと寂しい(と思*う*)。


I think it's really a difficult question. I can't find a good reason.


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## frequency

YangMuye, 感情にしろ状態にしろ、transition,　推移があったということだと思うよ。そういう風になってしまった、ということだね。

あと言えることとしては、気持ちを表すのには「寂しいです！」でいいんじゃないかと思うんだ。じゃあ、「あなたがいなくて寂しいです」か「あなたがいなくて寂しくなりました」のどちらが良いか？どっちでもいいと思うよ！あとは言う人の好みとか選択の問題なんじゃないかと思うんだ。


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## YangMuye

そうですね。
　発話の時の気持ちを表すには「寂しいです」でいいんだ、
　気持ちを表す言い方はほとんど決まった表現で
　難しく、深く考えなくてもいい、
と、私もこう思います。


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