# Who pays on your birthday?



## 6 pies

Joca's question about birthdays reminded me of a cultural difference I've observed between the US and Spain.  

On my birthday in the US, I might get presents and/or a cake from friends, family and co-workers.  If I go out to supper with my friends they will probably buy me a drink, if not my supper.

In Spain I know that when it's your birthday you are supposed to take treats to the office where you work and if you go out, you should buy your friends a drink.

Who pays on your birthday in your country?

I hope this hasn't been discussed befrore; I didn't see any threads when I searched.

Thanks!


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## Bilma

In Mexico the other people would pay if they took you to dinner. They would also pay for the cake at the office.


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## The Scrivener

On my birthday I usually take friends and family out to dinner, for which I pay.  The guests pay for all the drinks and bring me presents.


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## Lello4ever

Here in Italy when it's your birthday you're usually supposed to pay for your friends and took them out eating something, or to organize something at home. The guests shouldn't pay anything, apart from the presents.


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## heidita

Funny, that the people should invite you *and* bring presents. That really strikes me as odd. That's not the case here. One gets presents, no always though. But on my birthday, I pay. That's the usual here in Spain.


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## Kajjo

In Germany _you_ pay the dinner, party, drinks, cakes and whatever on _your_ birthday. 

Kajjo


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## Bilma

heidita said:


> Funny, that the people should invite you *and* bring presents. That really strikes me as odd. That's not the case here. One gets presents, no always though. But on my birthday, I pay. That's the usual here in Spain.


 

It seems that only in Mexico we do that.  

I work in a little town in Texas, on birthdays we pay for a cake and a birthday card.(Just as it is done in Mexico)  All the people I work with are from USA.


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## 6 pies

Wait, I want to clarify.  My friends don't necessarily buy me presents *and *supper, but it's possible.  I'm just emphasizing that I definitely don’t buy them anything on my birthday.


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## Q-cumber

Kajjo said:


> In Germany _you_ pay the dinner, party, drinks, cakes and whatever on _your_ birthday.
> 
> Kajjo



The same "rules" are in Russia. You invite guests and undertake all the expences. The guests bring birthday presents. Some guests might also bring alcohol or cakes (voluntary).


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## SaritaSarang

On birthdays here in the U.S, ( where I live at least), your friends/family pay on your birthday. That is why it is a special day, because you get treated


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## dobes

So is it turning out that in North America when it's your birthday your friends take you out and pay, while in Europe the birthday person does the treating and paying?

I am American and was used to other people paying on my birthday, but Slovakia, where I live now, follows the European Birthday Rule....


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## SaritaSarang

dobes said:


> So is it turning out that in North America when it's your birthday your friends take you out and pay, while in Europe the birthday person does the treating and paying?
> 
> I am American and was used to other people paying on my birthday, but Slovakia, where I live now, follows the European Birthday Rule....



I think that pretty much all over the U.S the tradition goes that people pay on your birthday, I've never heard of an instance when it was the other way around.


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## Paulfromitaly

My mate might or might not buy me a little present, in any case I pay on my birthday and I'd say that's the way it goes in Italy.


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## Vagabond

Q-cumber said:


> The same "rules" are in Russia. You invite guests and undertake all the expences. The guests bring birthday presents. Some guests might also bring alcohol or cakes (voluntary).


Same in Greece. But you don't *have* to have a party or take everyone to dinner, and they don't *have* to bring you a gift if you don't.


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## youtin

In the Philippines people will bug you to treat them out on your birthday ^^;

They may get you a birthday cake as a present but you still need to feed them.


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## Pirlo

If I had to organise a Birthday, I would pay for everybody, and make sure they have a good time.  Usually the host buys a cake of their choice. The only thing guests _might _bring is a gift, however, it isn't so important.. it's more about having a enjoyable time with friends.


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## Etcetera

Q-cumber said:


> The same "rules" are in Russia. You invite guests and undertake all the expences. The guests bring birthday presents. Some guests might also bring alcohol or cakes (voluntary).


Yes, it's so.
It's also common to buy something like a cake and a bottle of champagne and bring it to your job to celebrate your birthday with your colleagues. It can even be a small party!


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## krolaina

Young spanish people celebrate their birthdays with lots of friends...a big crowd! and they don´t usually have enough money to pay a supper...even beers! what do they do then? The person being honoured say "let´s go halves"   So common... 
But normal use is as follows: It´s my birthday, I pay.


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## PhilFrEn

Hi,

so far, in France, you get presents from friends/parents etc., but you organise the party for your friends (expect if they decide to make you a surprise, and offer you the party). You will buy everything (drinks, meat for the barbecue for example...), sometimes people offer to bring the dessert (quite common in fact...it gives them the illusion to contribute ,´ naa that's always nice ).


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## edencheng

In Hong Kong, friends or families will pay all things.
People will buy you presents also.


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## Keikikoka

I believe that in the US both options are in use. If my friends/family/co-workers decide to throw me a party, they will pay for the food, drinks, and cake. However, if I decide to throw a party, I will pay for the food, drinks, and cake.


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## Pirlo

Keikikoka said:


> I believe that in the US both options are in use. If my friends/family/co-workers decide to throw me a party, they will pay for the food, drinks, and cake. However, if I decide to throw a party, I will pay for the food, drinks, and cake.



Perhaps we could categories these two methods under: *Suprise Party* and *Organised Party.* I think that's a smart distinction!  ..Therefore, if another group of people decide to throw you a party without knowledge (then it wouldn't be a suprise! ), they would pay for everything, etc.. so that you wouldn't know about it. Whereas an Organised Party would most likely be payed by the host.


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## liulia

And in some countries, I have heard that the person who is celebrated and receives presents is the MOTHER!!! for doing such a great job of raising such a wonderful young person! 

Please remind me - does this still happen, and where???


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## badgrammar

If you decide to organize a party or a special gathering, in France you'd generally pay for that, since you instigated it.  If you just went out for an informal dinner with friends, they'd probably insist on paying for you, and certainly wouldn't expect you to foot the bill for them, although you might do it anyway.  I've never heard of some kind of expectation that if you go out with the birthday peson, they will be paying for everyone.  Especially if it's just drinks, I'm pretty sure nobody would want the birthday person to pay.  Same in the States.

Presents?  Well, sometimes you get 'em, sometimes you don't, it all depends.  And past a certain age, you may invite people to a party without saying "Ahem - it's my _birthday_ party", so they may come without even knowing they could have brought a birthday present.  But really, aside from the big b-days, like 40th, or 80th, or whatever, past a certain age, gifts are really not necessary.


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## Etcetera

badgrammar said:


> Presents?  Well, sometimes you get 'em, sometimes you don't, it all depends.  And past a certain age, you may invite people to a party without saying "Ahem - it's my _birthday_ party", so they may come without even knowing they could have brought a birthday present.  But really, aside from the big b-days, like 40th, or 80th, or whatever, past a certain age, gifts are really not necessary.


Here it would be pretty strange to come to a birthday party without a present to the host or hostess.
Many my friends, when inviting to their parties, say that gifts aren't necessary, what matters is your presence, but still I wouldn't go without a present, however modest, and I'm pretty sure so would most people here.


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## -Epic-

in Israel:

if you organize the party at your house you pay.

if you organize a party outside you don't pay or money splits evenly or each one pays for himself.

if the party was orgenized for you then you don't pay.

in any case you will get presents.


is it common around the world to lift the birthday man/women on a chair for each year of his life and one more?


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## Terry Morti

Even people you don't know very well will buy you a drink in the pub if it's your birthday. 

If you invite people out for dinner on your birthday you would expect to pay, although one of your guests will probably offer to pay the drinks bill.


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## Terry Morti

-Epic- said:


> is it common around the world to lift the birthday man/women on a chair for each year of his life and one more?



No but we do give people "the bumps". The Birthday girl or boy lies on the floor on his back and $ guests take hold of a leg or arm each, and fling the person up into the air once for each year (and one for luck). Usually they drop you - hence "the bumps".


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## dobes

Thank goodness I've never been tossed in the air on my birthday, in a chair or otherwise!  But I have heard of 'birthday punches' among boys and young men especially, where the birthday boy gets punched in the arm once for each year of his life, and once for luck.


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## jess oh seven

Drinks/meals are usually bought for the Birthday Person here  If it were  my birthday, I'm not sure I'd like to shell out a gazillion £ to buy everyone I knew a drink! I'm poor! Makes more sense if the expense is divided!


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## Etcetera

-Epic- said:


> is it common around the world to lift the birthday man/women on a chair for each year of his life and one more?


In Russia, there exists a custom to pull the birthday person's ears. But it's not so common. I don't like this custom and I've never allowed anyone to pull my ears. I believe there are nicer ways to express your fondness for the birthday person.


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## Silvia B

Etcetera said:


> In Russia, there exists a custom to pull the birthday person's ears. But it's not so common. I don't like this custom and I've never allowed anyone to pull my ears. I believe there are nicer ways to express your fondness for the birthday person.



Everything you say is the same here in Italy.
1st: if it is your birthday you have to pay for everyone (sigh, yes!)
You organize a party at home: you buy everything and people come to eat
you call everybody out for dinner: you pay at least the drinks. It's like thanking them that they came for your birthday. And after all, YOU invited them. It's not nice when it is your birthday, but if someone calls me out for his/her birthday, expect at least a little present (you would be really rude to come without) and also book in a charming restaurant....I'll get really upset! you understand...I DID not choose the place and how much I wanted to pay...When you've got a bunch of friends, that would become really annoying. And we don't want people to be annoyied on our b-day!!!!
2nd: we also pull ears. Especially with children, actually. It's a bit annoying, but always nice, if done in a "sweet" way (you know ears are really sensitive, you can have red hot ears all the evening otherwise!)


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## Terry Morti

Silvia, I don't want go off topic, as this thread is about customs rather than language, and I hope you don't mind if I point out that you should say "someone *invites* me out" rather than "*calls* me out", since to "call someone out" is to invite them to fight a duel!


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## Kajjo

Etcetera said:


> Here it would be pretty strange to come to a birthday party without a present to the host or hostess.
> Many my friends, when inviting to their parties, say that gifts aren't necessary, what matters is your presence, but still I wouldn't go without a present, however modest, and I'm pretty sure so would most people here.


It's the same in Germany, too.

Kajjo


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## badgrammar

But when adults have a birthday party for themselves, do they always say "I'm throwing a party _for my birthday_"?  I've had and been invited to parties  without any mention of it being a birthday party...  then people find out when they get there what the occasion is.  I mean, I feel immodest saying it's my birthday and then people will feel they must bring a gift, when all I really want is for them to come.


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## Silvia B

Terry Morti said:


> Silvia, I don't want go off topic, as this thread is about customs rather than language, and I hope you don't mind if I point out that you should say "someone *invites* me out" rather than "*calls* me out", since to "call someone out" is to invite them to fight a duel!



 sorry!!!!!!! thanks for pointing that out


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## Silvia B

badgrammar said:


> But when adults have a birthday party for themselves, do they always say "I'm throwing a party _for my birthday_"?  I've had and been invited to parties  without any mention of it being a birthday party...  then people find out when they get there what the occasion is.  I mean, I feel immodest saying it's my birthday and then people will feel they must bring a gift, when all I really want is for them to come.



You are right, but many time people who are invited _know _that it's the person's birthday.
(I invite my friends and they know when my b-day is)
Then I would feel quite embarassed if I were at a birthday party where someone brings presents (at least someone knows it's the person's birthday....otherwise it means that he/she invited no friends!!) and I don't!!! 
It's like I don't want to spend money. Everybody would think I am stingy!


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## dec-sev

PhilFrEn said:


> Hi,
> 
> so far, in France, you get presents from friends/parents etc., but you organise the party for your friends (expect if they decide to make you a surprise, and offer you the party)


 
I've seen several times in the movies the following scene: A man or a woman comes back from work. He enters a room turns the light on and... surprise, a bunch of friends celebrates him singing "Happy birthday"
Where dis they get the keys to the flat from?


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## PhilFrEn

Yeah that's the major problem, either you've got a flatmate, either you have to convince the parents, maybe they have the keys. Otherwise you plan a little expense for a locksmith .

No really, in a film it's easy. Or you enter with a credit card, but if the guy has locked with the key, you'd better be Houdini .


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## ColdomadeusX

I think that pretty much everyone I know expects their family and friends to pay on their birthdays. Me, well, my family alwasy insist tha they pay for me so that it's more of a birthday treat and not me treating others on MY birthday. I suppose it just makes more sense to me to be treated out on my own birthday instead of having to treat everyone else.
I do pay for my friends when they're low on cash or whatever but otherwise, I feel that it's up to my friends and family to pay for me because it's just always been that way.


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## silvester

Hello, 
I once worked with a woman from Russia, she gave me money because it was her birthday. I didn't want to accept it. She made me take it, she said it was good luck for her if I took it. Is anyone familiar with this custom?


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## TRG

When you are a child, birthdays are magic.  Why this persists into adulthood for some (most) people is a mystery to me.  My idea of a good birthday would be to get through the entire day without remembering or being reminded that it was in fact my birthday.   The custom here is to receive gifts on your birthday, not to give them, but as in all things, it is probably better to give than to receive.


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## Musical Chairs

I think that if you're the one who invited people and organized things, you should be expected to pay. Maybe sometimes it ends up that your friends want to be nice because it's your birthday and they pay for you too.

If it's a surprise party like a lot of people my age like to have for their friends, the people who organized it pay. Here it's the same again (the people who organized it pay). It's nice because if you get everyone to chip in a little, it doesn't cost very much to any one person and you can still have lots of fun.

People like having crazy parties for their birthdays but I just go out to dinner with my family and maybe do something fun with one or two friends on my birthday like go to the mall and try on crazy clothes. Last time I did this, I paid for my own food.


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