# Mettersi insieme



## Ludo87

How do you say in English "mettersi insieme"? I mean the exact moment in which you decide you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend with someone.

Thank you!


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## Paulfromitaly

Puoi dire "to get together".


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## Maltese

Ciao Ludo87,

You can also say "started dating" or "started seeing him/her" or "started seeing each other".

For example you could say "they started dating last Christmas".


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## Paulfromitaly

Maltese said:


> Ciao Ludo87,
> 
> You can also say "started dating" or "started seeing him/her" or "started seeing each other".
> 
> For example you could say "they started dating last Christmas".


_
Mettersi insieme _is something you do after dating the other person for a while.


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## giovannino

What about "become an item"? I see it used in magazines but I have no idea if it's used in conversation.


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## seawaves

Paulfromitaly said:


> _Mettersi insieme _is something you do after dating the other person for a while.


 
In my opinion,I see "to date" as "frequentare" and I think it is different from "mettersi insieme". I would say "get together", probably. 

Sara


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## london calling

Ludo87 said:


> How do you say in English "mettersi insieme"? I mean the exact moment in which you decide you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend with someone.
> 
> Thank you!


 
We used to say:
_To start going out with someone_


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## Paulfromitaly

london calling said:


> We used to say:
> _To start going out with someone_


I don't know if we mean something different here, but as I see it

_Incominciare ad uscire insieme _means start dating someone regularly, with a big chance to get eventually together.

_Mettersi insieme_ means to get together, that is to decide to be a couple in a stable relationship.


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## london calling

Paulfromitaly said:


> I don't know if we mean something different here, but as I see it
> 
> _Incominciare ad uscire insieme _means start dating someone regularly, with a big chance to get eventually together.
> 
> _Mettersi insieme_ means to get together, that is to decide to be a couple in a stable relationship.


 
Yes, Paul, quite right!__

_Mettersi insieme,_ "to be a couple in a stable relationship is", I think, the equivalent of the AE expression "to go steady" and I agree it's different from _incominciare ad uscire insieme,_ "to start going out with someone"....


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## SoCalMezzo

"go steady" is the right meaning, but sounds a bit "old" now...very popular in the 1950s.
Today, you might say, "we're seeing each other exclusively"...it's not as efficient as "go steady", unfortunately, but more current.


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## london calling

SoCalMezzo said:


> "go steady" is the right meaning, but sounds a bit "old" now...very popular in the 1950s.
> Today, you might say, "we're seeing each other exclusively"...it's not as efficient as "go steady", unfortunately, but more current.


Thanks, but if you read the original question, they weren't asking that! 

This "go steady" business was brought up for clarification: have a look at the original post and see what you'd say in AE for "mettersi insieme".....

Bye!
Jo


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## Katydid

Maybe, "We decided to see each other exclusively" or "It became serious."


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## SoCalMezzo

london calling said:


> Thanks, but if you read the original question, they weren't asking that!
> 
> This "go steady" business was brought up for clarification: have a look at the original post and see what you'd say in AE for "mettersi insieme".....
> 
> Bye!
> Jo



That is what I meant...  for "mettersi insieme" in the sense of "the exact moment in which you decide you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend with someone" I would say "now seeing each other exclusively".  Otherwise, it would just be "get together", which doesn't really get the meaning.


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## Ludo87

So you don't actually have an expression for that precise act? I mean, if you don't have a way for saying it, it also mean that you can not propose it to someone.

Like, if you have been dating a guy for a while and you decide you want to get serious with him, how do you tell him? Meaning, from now on we are no longer friends but boyfriend and girlfriend.

And then, if it is not a precise moment, you can't have a sort of "anniversary" of the couple, right? you can just say that you've been dating that guy for 2 years, no matter if the first 6 months you didn't even kiss him.


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## SoCalMezzo

Ludo87 said:


> So you don't actually have an expression for that precise act? I mean, if you don't have a way for saying it, it also mean that you can not propose it to someone.
> 
> Like, if you have been dating a guy for a while and you decide you want to get serious with him, how do you tell him? Meaning, from now on we are no longer friends but boyfriend and girlfriend.
> 
> And then, if it is not a precise moment, you can't have a sort of "anniversary" of the couple, right? you can just say that you've been dating that guy for 2 years, no matter if the first 6 months you didn't even kiss him.



Sorry if this is disappointing, I don't know of any better way to say it! 

Some couples do keep track of the day they "became serious" or decided they were "not just friends anymore".  The issue never arose with my husband...from the first date, it was clear to the both of us that we were "exclusive", because we had already been friends for several years before we started dating.  However, if I had needed or wanted to make a statement, I could have said, "So, are we seeing each other exclusively?", or "I would like this relationship to be exclusive, do you agree with that?"  Believe me, an American guy will know *exactly* what a young woman means if she uses the word "exclusive".

Like I said, I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anything better I could offer you.  Perhaps in Britain or Australia they have a better term or phrase to convey the full meaning of "mettersi insieme", but I wouldn't know.  I hope you find what you're looking for.


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## london calling

SoCalMezzo said:


> Like I said, I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anything better I could offer you. Perhaps in Britain or Australia they have a better term or phrase to convey the full meaning of "mettersi insieme", but I wouldn't know. I hope you find what you're looking for.


 
Hello!

We'd say "to start going out with someone", or "to start seeing someone", I think (!), i.e. the moment in which you decide to TRY being a couple: if an American said "to start dating someone", would that mean the same, or as Paul suggests, does it come before "mettersi insieme"? (Personally,  I wouldn't say "to date someone" at all in BE, but it may have slipped into British usage!)

Thanks again!
Jo


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## You little ripper!

In Australia *going steady* (Jo's suggestion) and *became an item* (giovannino's) conveys *mettersi insieme. Seriously dating* is another*.*


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## edfnl

Well, it seems to me that if you go out with someone than he is your boyfriend.... is it right?   If I say to my boyfriend that "tonight I'm going out with XY" he might get mad!
I think there are many misunderstandable meanings °_°


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## Paulfromitaly

edfnl said:


> Well, it seems to me that if you go out with someone than he is your boyfriend.... is it right?   If I say to my boyfriend that "tonight I'm going out with XY" he might get mad!
> I think there are many misunderstandable meanings °_°


That's not true.
You can go out with your male friends too.

From my point of view (male last time I checked..)

Conoscere una ragazza = Meet a girl.
Dare un'appuntamento ad una ragazza = Go out on a date with a girl.
Uscire con una ragazza regolarmente/freqentare = Go out with a girl, always the same girl, on a regular basis.
Mettersi insieme = Decide to be a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, in a stable relationship (commitment)
I don't know if we still make a distinction between mettersi insieme e fidanzarsi (be fiancee, get engaged )


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## london calling

Paulfromitaly said:


> That's not true.
> You can go out with your male friends too.
> 
> I don't know if we still make a distinction between mettersi insieme e fidanzarsi (be fianced, get engaged )


To me, _to get engaged_ is _fidanzarsi_ , which is what a young cousin of mine did recently AND she got an engagement ring!

By the way some people write _fiancéd_...


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## rmmiller

Ludo87 said:


> Like, if you have been dating a guy for a while and you decide you want to get serious with him, how do you tell him?



This is a good question because it's something that is very difficult to ask in English! Here are a few ways that I would use:

What do you think about being exclusive?
What do you think about not seeing other people?

It's a really hard thing to ask! I think usually there's not a definite moment. I find that usually, someone in the relationship (maybe accidentally) uses the word "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and the other person says "Oh! So, we're using the words "boyfriend/girlfriend" now?" 

How would you ask a person to be your exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend in Italian? "Vorresti mettersi insieme?" Is it OK to be that direct?


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## Lucy Van Pelt

rmmiller said:


> How would you ask a person to be your exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend in Italian? "Vorresti mettersi insieme?" Is it OK to be that direct?


 


The question would be: "vuoi/vorresti metterti con me/ insieme a me"?

But, to be sincere, I think that this kind of question is perhaps mostly used among teen-agers (at least it was when I was younger - usually teen-agers spoke with friends to be sure that the boy/girl they liked returned feelings, too. Then, they asked this question to their beloved). 

In my opinion a grown-up person would never use this question.


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## SoCalMezzo

In America, you can definitely "date" many different people at the same time, if you are not "exclusive" with any one of them. "Dating" often describes this phase...it's something like "trying out" different people.  To add to the confusion, though, some people also use "started dating" to mean that moment of becoming boyfriend/girlfriend.  The expression "going steady" was ideal for distinguishing that moment, but it is very old-fashioned and never used anymore.  At the risk of being a bit philosophical, the "gray area" we have now is somewhat reflective of the "Sex and the City" mentality.    You can date different people, and even be intimate with any number of them, and still not be exclusive.  I'm not saying that this is what a great number of people actually *do*, but it is definitely a current cultural phenomenon.  I'm so glad I'm not dating (or whatever) anymore!


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## Overflow

Hello everybody.... I have a question.
I would like to translate the sentence
"Grazie per non esserti messa insieme a me quell'estate..."

Of course it's just a joke, something ironic about a girl that didn't get together with a friend of mine..even if he didn't try so much!  but it's funny to remember it...
.. i would translate like this

"Thank you for not having got together with me that summer.. "
or
"Thank you for not being together with me that summer.. "
or
"Thank you for didn't accept me as boyfriend with me that summer.. "

.. i think the first is more correct. Any suggestions?

Thank you!


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## Ms researcher

_to get together_ means _to meet up.

_I would say: Thanks for not going out with me last summer. or
Thanks for refusing to be my boyfriend


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## Overflow

Thank you Ms_researcher for the quick answer! 

Is there a way to say it without say "girlfriend"? .... actually they have never thought to become a couple... just to say "stare insieme" or "mettersi insieme"


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## Ms researcher

Thanks for not spending any time with me last summer.


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## Overflow

Ms researcher said:


> Thanks for not spending any time with me last summer.



Mmm this is good... but actually they spent a lot of time together, but just as friends.... I know it's quite complicated! :-D  :-D  :-D


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## Ms researcher

I think I 'll give up 
last try:
Thanks for spending a lot of time with me without fancying me.../and for not asking me out/for not being interested in going out with me


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## gmambart

Thank you for not getting engaged with me that summer..


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## Ms researcher

_get engaged _means _to plan on getting married_


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## Overflow

Ms researcher said:


> I think I 'll give up
> last try:
> Thanks for spending a lot of time with me without fancying me.../and for not asking me out/for not being interested in going out with me



 
it's 2 days I am thinking on! 
However thank you a lot! you gave me a lot of interesting suggestions!

I think 
"Thanks for spending a lot of time with me without being interested in going out with me" 
it's very close in what I want to say!

Cheers!


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## Overflow

I didn't want to say boyfriend, engaged or relationship, but i think you can't express this without using them..... so what about

"Thank you for not having started a relationship with me last Summer"

Does it sound weird?


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## Ms researcher

'thank you for not starting a relationship with me last summer'


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## Overflow

Ms researcher said:


> 'thank you for not starting a relationship with me last summer'



Thank you for the correction! 
Why it is not correct to use a past ing form here?

For example, is it correct saying:

"Thank you for having cooked for us...."


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## gmambart

Ms researcher said:


> _get engaged _means _to plan on getting married_



Also in italian, maybe I didn't understant What "mettersi insieme" means in this context.


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## Overflow

gmambart said:


> Also in italian, maybe I didn't understant What "mettersi insieme" means in this context.



I mean 

"mettersi insieme solo come coppietta senza avere piani per matrimoni o cose simili. Solo avere la ragazza"


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## L'equilibrista

"thank you for not having had an affair/fling/flirtation with me that summer"


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## Alxmrphi

Ms researcher said:


> _to get together_ means _to meet up.
> *ONE OF A FEW MEANINGS*
> 
> _I would say: Thanks for not going out with me last summer. or
> Thanks for refusing to be my boyfriend



_*to get together *_also means 'to hook up', to start a relationship etc.


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## Ms researcher

It is not useful to use 'get together' here since it is ambiguous.


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## Overflow

L'equilibrista said:


> "thank you for not having had an affair/fling/flirtation with me that summer"



GREAT! this is a good solution! Is it common saying affair?


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## Overflow

So.. can I say
"to get together" 
to indicate just only dating... without marriage?


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## Alxmrphi

Overflow said:


> So.. can I say
> "to get together"
> to indicate just only dating... without marriage?



Yep, you sure can.

[Edit] - Ms_r.... we use the idea of being in a relationship a lot more than meeting up with 'to get together'.


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## neuromatico

I think Alex's "hook up" is the most appropriate, providing you're looking for something colloquial.

As usual, context is everything, as it could refer to a casual meeting, a romantic relationship, or a one-time sexual encounter. 

"Thanks for not hooking up with me last summer."


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## rafanadal

What about this situation:
"Sono ancora convinto che ci metteremo insieme".

Said by a grown up man (mid forties) to a grown up (mid forties) woman after they have known each other for ages, had different walks of life, kept seeing each other though, and deep inside they still think that there might be a chance...

"I'm still persuaded that we will (get together?)"


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## You little ripper!

_I'm still convinced that eventually we'll end up together._


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## rafanadal

Thanks Charles.


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