# Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?



## Glamour21

Hi! My name is Clyne. I'm not familiar with filipino language. Can anyone tell me what mean:

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?


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## zhonglin

I'd say that the most natural way to say it is "Meron ka bang boyfriend/girlfriend?" you may use the work "kasintahan" for boyfriend/girlfriend but it may sound a little bit odd since "kasintahan" is barely used in modern tagalog.


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## Glamour21

Thank you for telling me zhonglin


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## mataripis

If you want subtle expression, do you have close friends? May malapit ka na bang kaibigan? Or may kaibigan ka na ba?


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## zhonglin

mataripis said:


> If you want subtle expression, do you have close friends? May malapit ka na bang kaibigan? Or may kaibigan ka na ba?



kaibigan = friend
boyfriend/girlfriend = kasintahan

So, that's not correct.


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## mataripis

zhonglin said:


> kaibigan = friend
> boyfriend/girlfriend = kasintahan
> 
> So, that's not correct.


 kaibigan is friend but the hidden second meaning is someone you like! Ibig is like/want! De ba?


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## zhonglin

mataripis said:


> kaibigan is friend but the hidden second meaning is someone you like! Ibig is like/want! De ba?



Yes, but it's not the word "friend" that is being discussed here, Glamour21 is asking about the exact translation for "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"


The translation from you sounds very odd and totally has different meaning from the context in question.


if you ask these questions to someone, it would be such an insult to him/her because you're making it sound like he/she does appear to have any friends


May malapit ka na bang kaibigan? = do you already have a close friend 
may kaibigan ka na ba? = do you already have a friend


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## mataripis

I know what you mean but in many cases, a direct question like this may give an impression that you are not a decent person. So to make the situation safe for both party, using a grammar that may divert negative impression may avoid possible negative impact to both person. I noticed that there are rules in the usage of Tagalog that will reflect the type of intention a person want to do.This form of Tagalog is becoming obsolete but it has significance in determining right from wrong.


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## zhonglin

mataripis said:


> I know what you mean but in many cases, a direct question like this may give an impression that you are not a decent person. So to make the situation safe for both party, using a grammar that may divert negative impression may avoid possible negative impact to both person. I noticed that there are rules in the usage of Tagalog that will reflect the type of intention a person want to do.This form of Tagalog is becoming obsolete but it has significance in determining right from wrong.



Thank you for your opinion but from my perspective, asking this question "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" is not indecent at all. For instance, when I'm asked a question such as this one I would *not *think that the person who asked me this question is indecent because she's simply curious and would like to know more about me, thereby being direct/straight to the point when asking a question is not really indecent, we can be polite tho.. usually by adding the word "*po*" to sound more polite like "meron ka na *po *bang boyfriend/girlfriend" 

The word "po" is generally added to the sentence (typically after a pronoun) when talking to someone older than you or if you're not close to that person that you're talking to, therefore if you're just talking to a friend.. it's very safe and okay to use this sentence "meron ka nabang boyfriend/girlfriend"  (no word *po*)


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## DotterKat

I agree with zhonglin that there is nothing wrong with asking somebody whether or not they already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Furthermore, it is perhaps the most mature and decent thing to do prior to even attempting a relationship that one intends to go beyond mere friendship. 
However, I have to add that perhaps mataripis was referring to the word kaibigan with the accent on the first syllable ("_ka'ibigan_"). This little play on the same word, by placing the emphasis on the first syllable, does change the meaning to something that could mean "lover" or at the very least someone with whom one shares a close and intimate connection. The caveat of course is that this usage does not really work in written form, at least not without some sort of explanation which defeats the playful nature of its use. It would be somewhat similar to saying in English "Is she just a friend or a _friend_?", with the italicized _friend_ being pronounced in such a tone and manner as to convey the message that the speaker clearly refers to somebody who is more than "just a friend".



zhonglin said:


> I'd say that the most natural way to say it is "Meron ka bang boyfriend/girlfriend?" you may use the work "kasintahan" for boyfriend/girlfriend but it may sound a little bit odd since "kasintahan" is barely used in modern tagalog.



I agree with the above response. The adverb _na_ would not be out of place:

_Meron ka na bang boyfriend/girlfriend?_

Quite informally one might say, especially if the speaker is very young:

_Meron ka na bang syota?_


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## zhonglin

DotterKat said:


> I agree with zhonglin that there is nothing wrong with asking somebody whether or not they already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Furthermore, it is perhaps the most mature and decent thing to do prior to even attempting a relationship that one intends to go beyond mere friendship.
> However, I have to add that perhaps mataripis was referring to the word kaibigan with the accent on the first syllable ("_ka'ibigan_"). This little play on the same word, by placing the emphasis on the first syllable, does change the meaning to something that could mean "lover" or at the very least someone with whom one shares a close and intimate connection. The caveat of course is that this usage does not really work in written form, at least not without some sort of explanation which defeats the playful nature of its use. It would be somewhat similar to saying in English "Is she just a friend or a _friend_?", with the italicized _friend_ being pronounced in such a tone and manner as to convey the message that the speaker clearly refers to somebody who is more than "just a friend".
> 
> I agree with the above response. The adverb _na_ would not be out of place:
> 
> _Meron ka na bang boyfriend/girlfriend?_
> 
> Quite informally one might say, especially if the speaker is very young:
> 
> _Meron ka na bang syota?_



Yes, mataripis may be referring to the word *ka*ibigan with the stress on its first syllable, I would say that this usage only works in verbal communication (not in written form) since both are nouns and can only be differentiated by pronunciation. In addition to that, the word kaibigan (with the stress on its first syllable) is not in wide use (or not used in modern Tagalog at all), it's typically only used when adding humor in a conversation like the below example;

girl 1: kaibigan ko siya = she is my friend
girl 2: kaibigan mo siya? O *ka*ibigan mo siya? (Is she just a friend? Or a lover?)


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## captain_bukol

mataripis said:


> I know what you mean but in many cases, a direct question like this may give an impression that you are not a decent person. So to make the situation safe for both party, using a grammar that may divert negative impression may avoid possible negative impact to both person. I noticed that there are rules in the usage of Tagalog that will reflect the type of intention a person want to do.This form of Tagalog is becoming obsolete but it has significance in determining right from wrong.



Asking someone directly if he/she is still single is in no way indecent.

"May malapit ka na bang kaibigan?" --- Oh c'mon, nobody talks this way. This is a type of question that will make the other party unsure of your intention and motive and will just elicit a defensive answer.

The thread starter is also asking for a direct translation so don't confuse him with double-meanings.


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## Bunso

Meron ka bang boyfriend? O Meron ka bang nobiya? O Meron ka bang b-f ?  

I really like to read the discussions here and see how what seems like a simple question builds into a topic of controversy.
My pinay friend was asked this question in Dubai by a new coworker and her answer was, "It's a secret".  Not because of how the question was worded rather because of who was asking.


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## latchiloya

In the book_ “INC-IMC English-Filipino Dictionary 1987, p viii, says: ‘a great number of Filipino words change in meaning with the change in accent: káibigan(friend), … kaíbigan(sweetheart, boy-/girlfriend)…’”
_
That the two words are heteronyms and  are distinctive with the acute accent mark:

Káibigan –friend
Kaíbigan - sweetheart, boy-/girlfriend

That,



mataripis said:


> kaibigan is friend but the hidden second meaning is someone you like! Ibig is like/want! De ba?



…is justifiable

That,



zhonglin said:


> Yes, mataripis may be referring to the word *ka*ibigan with the stress on its first syllable, I would say that *this usage only works in verbal communication (not in written form)* since both are nouns and can only be differentiated by pronunciation. In addition to that, the word kaibigan (with the stress on its first syllable) is not in wide use (or not used in modern Tagalog at all), it's typically only used when adding humor in a conversation like the below example;
> 
> girl 1: kaibigan ko siya = she is my friend
> girl 2: kaibigan mo siya? O *ka*ibigan mo siya? (Is she just a friend? Or a lover?)



the context in bold fonts above(apart from the two 'ka-s') strengthens the proposition that kaibigan has another denotation_ "sweetheart, boy-/girlfriend).
_


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## zhonglin

I can confirm that the word kaibigan with the stress on it's first syllable only works in verbal communication (not in written form).

I think my point is that it's not really wise to teach a non Tagalog speaker to use the word *ka*ibigan (one with the stress on it's first syllable) because that word is no longer in use. In addition to that, Glamour21 may find tagalog words challenging to pronounce , so when she pronounces the word kaibigan in some way when talking to her Filipino friends, her friends would interpret that word as a "friend (not loved one)" because the word kaibigan with the stress on it's first syllable is not in wide use, so whether it's in written form or verbally spoken, it's not really suggested to use the word *ka*ibigan (one with the stress on it's first syllable) in this case at all. Just to reiterate, this usage typically only used when adding humor in a conversation like the below example;

girl 1: kaibigan ko siya = she is my friend
girl 2: kaibigan mo siya? O kaibigan mo siya? (Is she just a friend? Or a lover?)


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