# Who is a 'good neighbour'?



## Vanest

Hello Everyone,

I would like to know what it means to be a good neighbour in your culture and country. 

I find that in Latin American cultures, (and please forgive me if I am generalizing too much), and particularly in Ecuadorean culture, being a good neighbour is synonymous with minding your own business. From my experiences living there (for twenty years) a good neighbour is someone who respects his or her neighbour’s privacy. A good neighbour is someone who always greets his/her neighbour with a “good morning, good afternoon, good evening, etc.” when they meet on the street, the sidewalk or in the hallways, but does not go knocking on their door uninvited or for no particular reason. Although a friendship might arise between neighbours, I don’t think, in my experience, that it is a prerequisite to be your neighbour’s friend just because you happen to live on the same block or in the same apartment building. What I mean is, a good neighbour is friendly, but not necessarily a friend. 

So, I would like to hear your opinion on what being a good neighbour is in your countries and cultures. And also, if you agree with my perception of what a ‘good neighbour’ is in Latin American cultures (I might have it wrong…)

Thank you!

Vanest


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## emm1366

Estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo pero debes saber que los latinos tenemos una forma diferente de pensar. Si tu vecino hace una fiesta y el sonido es muy alto, es cosa de buen vecino no declararte fastidiado con esto, siempre y cuando no sea una situación persistente.

Saludos.


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## Vanest

emm1366 said:


> Estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo pero debes saber que los latinos tenemos una forma diferente de pensar. Si tu vecino hace una fiesta y el sonido es muy alto, es cosa de buen vecino no declararte fastidiado con esto, siempre y cuando no sea una situación persistente.
> 
> Saludos.


 
Hola Emm:

Sí, se me había olvidado mencionar también ese aspecto. Sí alguien hace una fiesta y el sonido es alto, como dices, toca aguantar, a no ser que sea cosa de todos los fines de semana; en cuyo caso, seguramente se le podría pedir que por favor se midiera un poco. 

Y esa es una gran diferencia que he encontrado en el mundo anglosajón (particularmente, hablo de Canadá), si un veicno hace una fiesta muy ruidosa una sola vez, lo más probable es que por ahí va a haber una vecina o vecino que no solo que se va a fastidiar, ¡sino que lo va a reportar a la Policía!   

Saludos,

Vanest


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## Grux

En España, en general hacer mucho ruido dentro de casa está mal visto y se consideraría peor vecino al que hace una fiesta ruidosa por la noche que al que proteste por el ruido. En cierto modo el ruido excesivo del vecino es una "invasión" de tu hogar y se considera que el derecho al descanso o simplemente a estar en tu casa sin ser perturbado está por encima del derecho a hacer una fiesta ruidosa en un piso (siempre se puede ir a un bar, por ejemplo). Incluso hay leyes que establecen cual es la intensidad máxima de ruido permitida de día y de noche.

Se considera buen vecino al que no es demasiado ruidoso, no ensucia las zonas comunes (por ejemplo no tira cosas al patio de luz comunitario desde la ventana, ni deja que su perro orine donde no debe, etc), da los buenos días si se cruza contigo y en definitiva es educado. En general en las ciudades no se espera más de los vecinos. En ambientes rurales sí es común que haya una relación más familiar, los vecinos se conocen más y es más habitual que uno le pregunte a otro por cosas de su vida cotidiana, pudiendo estar mal visto socialmente el ser demasiado distante.


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## Montesacro

Grux said:


> Se considera buen vecino al que no es demasiado ruidoso, no ensucia las zonas comunes (por ejemplo no tira cosas al patio de luz comunitario desde la ventana, ni deja que su perro orine donde no debe, etc), da los buenos días si se cruza contigo y en definitiva es educado. En general en las ciudades no se espera más de los vecinos. En ambientes rurales sí es común que haya una relación más familiar, los vecinos se conocen más y es más habitual que uno le pregunte a otro por cosas de su vida cotidiana, pudiendo estar mal visto socialmente el ser demasiado distante.


 
Lo mismo en Italia.


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## Vanest

Grux said:


> En España, en general hacer mucho ruido dentro de casa está mal visto y se consideraría peor vecino al que hace una fiesta ruidosa por la noche que al que proteste por el ruido. En cierto modo el ruido excesivo del vecino es una "invasión" de tu hogar y se considera que el derecho al descanso o simplemente a estar en tu casa sin ser perturbado está por encima del derecho a hacer una fiesta ruidosa en un piso (siempre se puede ir a un bar, por ejemplo). Incluso hay leyes que establecen cual es la intensidad máxima de ruido permitida de día y de noche.


 
Me parece interesante esta diferencia cultural entre España y lo que he conocido de América Latina. Pienso que solo en el caso de que unos vecinos reincidieran en la cuestión de la bulla excesiva, sería motivo de molestia de parte del resto del vecindario. Hacer un par de fiestas al año (con disc jockey incluido) no está mal visto. Claro que hablo más de un barrio con casas, más que un edificio de apartamentos. Pero en el caso de los edificios, es común que exista una sala comunal en donde se puede hacer una fiesta (que a menudo resulta ruidosa). 

Saludos,

Vanest


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## Grux

Bueno, en el caso de que sean casas separadas lo de las fiestas es más tolerado. Yo estaba pensando en apartamentos.
Pero sí es cierto que existe cierta diferencia cultural entre España y latinoamérica. Supongo que los españoles estaríamos en algún punto intermedio entre los latinoamericanos y los anglosajones.

Saludos


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## Jacobtm

En los estados unidos me parece que los vecinos, muy muchas veces, se convierten en amigos muy buenos. No es extraño que los vecinos hacen un barbacoa juntos, o que cenan a sí mismos casas. Mis vecinos muchas veces pedir que cuando viajen a vacación que mi familia guarda a sus mascotas, y es con placer que decimos "sí". 

Pero si sus vecinos no están sus amigos, hay reglas muy diferentes. Un transgresión como una fiesta muy ruidoso es totalmente excusable si sus vecinos son sus amigos, pero sin amistad, una fiesta ruidoso es una infracción terrible, que aveces resulta en una llamada a la policía.

Es una problema social en los Estados Unidos que los adultos no pueden hablar con otros adultos si ya no son amigos. Se comportan como niños gritando a sus padres.


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## Odysseus54

Grux said:


> Bueno, en el caso de que sean casas separadas lo de las fiestas es más tolerado. Yo estaba pensando en apartamentos.
> Pero sí es cierto que existe cierta diferencia cultural entre España y latinoamérica. Supongo que los españoles estaríamos en algún punto intermedio entre los latinoamericanos y los anglosajones.
> 
> Saludos




Yo sé que tengo un vecino que debe ser latino por el tipo de musica que todos los fines de semana se pone a 'compartir' con el barrio ( casas separadas, pero no importa porque usa altoparlantes de destruccion masiva ) , sin que nadie se lo haya pedido.

Bueno, a mi me gusta la musica antigua y eso que le gusta a el ( salsa, merengue, vallenato ) me parece basura auditiva de la peor  - opinion seguramente equivocada y que me da verguenza  , que sin embargo tengo el derecho de cultivar en mi propio hogar.  De suerte tengo unas ventanas anti-huracan que al mismo tiempo sirven de aislamiento acustico, lo que me ahorra la molestia y las inevitables peleas con el.

Para mi, italiano del centro y muy poco americanizado, el mejor vecino es callado, reservado y al mismo tiempo amistoso, sin ponerse intrusivo.  Y considero hacer mucho ruido una de las peores intrusiones en mi vida.

Aqui' en Miami, por la mezcla cultural que sabemos, la cuestion del ruido es un problema , y a veces, en ciertos barrios, acaba en tiroteos, por la diferencia de interpretacion cultural que la gente le da.


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## Chaska Ñawi

In my part of rural Ontario, a good neighbour helps you when you need help, and keeps his or her distance when you don't.

When a young farmer was seriously injured by some machinery, everybody appeared one day with their tractors and put in his crops for him.  When I spent most of a spring and summer having multiple surgeries or recuperating from them, so many casseroles and lasagnas were delivered to our front door that my husband hardly had to cook a single meal.

It's a good place to live.


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## cuchuflete

The term 'good neighbor' has many meanings in my tiny village.  Many correspond to what Chaska has described, but there is more.  Yesterday I was told by one neighbor that another whom I barely know had stopped by to offer me some plants.  The second person admires the masses of daylilies in my front garden, so when she had some excavation done near her house, and an uprooted garden she didn't have time to replant, she offered the plants to those neighbors with obvious gardening tendencies.
Other neighbors offer to share vgetables and fruit when the harvests are plentiful.  Still others care for one another's animals, both pets and livestock, when someone has to travel.

We do tend to mind our own business, be available for help whenever there is a need, and in addition we share in small and meaningful ways.  Oh... one last thing.  Everyone here waves greetings when anyone, neighbor, tourist, visitor, bicyclist or delivery truck goes by.  All but the tourists tend to wave back and smile.


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## azeid

"Good neighbour"
I will talk about the place where i live in Egypt. To be a good neighbor, It means that you should help your neighbors when they ask for help, lend them if they seek relief, show your neighbor concern if he is distressed, if some one died from his family you should attend the funeral,make food for him and his his family in the first three days from the funeral because they are busy and sad and not to make the TV or music aloud in this period, if he is ill you should nurse him or at least visit him,Congratulate him when he meets any good and share him his happiness, don not block air and sun by raising your building high without his permission,don not harass him,Give him a share when you buy fruits and if you do not give him, bring what you buy quietly and don't let your children take them out to excite the jealousy of his children,you should greet him whenever you meet him by alsalamu alikom (peace be upon you)"السلام عليكم" ,you should respect his privacy.


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## tvdxer

emm1366 said:


> Estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo pero debes saber que los latinos tenemos una forma diferente de pensar. Si tu vecino hace una fiesta y el sonido es muy alto, es cosa de buen vecino no declararte fastidiado con esto, siempre y cuando no sea una situación persistente.
> 
> Saludos.



Ha, only if that were the case here.

A "good neighbor" is considered one who mows their lawn regularly, isn't too loud (doesn't regularly have loud parties or a barking dog), and generally keeps their yard in order, similar to the rest of the houses in the neighborhood - so much so that most new houses in the U.S. have homeowners' associations or covenants / deed restrictions.  For example, at least in a middle-class neighborhood, your neighbors might be peeved if you have a motorhome or boat and park it outside, if you regularly work on your car outside, if you park your vehicle on your lawn, if you leave kids' toys out on the lawn, etc, etc.  I actually did a poll a while ago on another forum, with many responses.  The question was essentially what makes a bad neighbor: "Which of these things would annoy you if your neighbor did them".  Hopefully I can link it here:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/house/418690-following-things-would-annoy-you-if-1.html

http://www.city-data.com/forum/house/419554-following-pt-2-a.html

In addition to the poll, there were several text responses that should give an idea of what bugs (mostly U.S. American) neighbors.


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## Vanest

Chaska Ñawi said:


> In my part of rural Ontario, a good neighbour helps you when you need help, and keeps his or her distance when you don't.



I think this is an excellent definition of what it means to be a good neighbour. Especially the keeping your distance when help is not needed. I bring this up because I had a neighbour (here in Vancouver) who apparently thought we needed her 'help' all the time in the form of discarded items and food that she no longer wanted or had any use for. When we didn't use the things she forced upon us, she got very angry and accused us of being ungrateful, unfriendly and not appreciating her generosity.  

This is the situation that prompted me to ask this question. I wanted to know if I had done something 'un-neighbourly' in order to cause this fury. I wanted to know if maybe it is perfectly normal to give leftover food and old clothes to your neighbour, and, not only that, if this is expected. I have now confirmed that it is not so. Thank you everybody for your answers and participation, it has been very helpful for me.


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## Chaska Ñawi

cuchuflete said:


> Other neighbors offer to share vegetables and fruit when the harvests are plentiful.



This reminds me of a joke about rural Vermont: "It's a fine place to live, but never forget to lock your cars in the summer.  Otherwise you'll find the back seat full of tomatoes and zuchini."



cuchuflete said:


> Oh... one last thing.  Everyone here waves greetings when anyone, neighbor, tourist, visitor, bicyclist or delivery truck goes by.  All but the tourists tend to wave back and smile.



Here we lift a finger or two off the steering wheel in salute, whether or not we know the other driver.  However, when we went to Pelee Island (west end of Lake Erie) a couple of weeks ago, this was seen as unfriendly; THEY put the entire left hand out the window and wave at you.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Vanest said:


> I bring this up because I had a neighbour (here in Vancouver) who apparently thought we needed her 'help' all the time in the form of discarded items and food that she no longer wanted or had any use for. When we didn't use the things she forced upon us, she got very angry and accused us of being ungrateful, unfriendly and not appreciating her generosity.



Her behaviour would be considered rude and eccentric in every single part of Canada where I've visited or lived.  Don't take it personally.


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## federicoft

Here in Italy, at least in urban areas, privacy is held in the highest regard, so not very much is expected of neighbours other than behaving in a civilized way (that is, avoiding tiresome noises or dirtying communal spaces). A neighbour who complies with that is a good neighbour.

In the country things can be different, and more confidential relations are more likely to occour.


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## Miguelillo 87

As Federico said it depends on the place you live, it's totally different to live in a building in a city than in a house with big garden in the countryside. 

Personally I've lived my entire life in the city, but in different places, in a house and nowadays in an apartment; when I lived in the house I was a kid and to be a good neighborhood was to keep privacy of your neighbors, help them when they ask them to; sometimes offer help only if you saw that maybe it will be requiered, as many of children there were to the same school, so sometimes you will eat in you'r friend house so to welcome the other children it's ok, when this interaction happens between childre, so if you have a party invite them, and maybe some of them will be end as you life-time friends. but if you had a neighbor who doesn't have children anf he only said hello when you saw him on the street ¡No problem either! as soons as he/she kept away of troubles, it was a good neigboor, 

Here in the apartment, things are differetn as soon as you svae the privacy of your neighboor, and maybe if you need a small favor, he helps you, it's consider a good neighboor. and as my other latinamerican fellows have said, if there is a noise party, DON'T say anything anyway one day you will do one and you hope not to be annoyed by "annoying neigbhors" (¡Viva la fiesta!) Obviously it has to be once in a while not all weekends. 

In coutryside things ar different, my family has a "summer house" in a small village in Morelos State, there we have a lot of family living, and you can see it's totally different, there neighboors really help them, they are firends, the doors are always open (literally) Money,food, moral support everything is provided without problem, parties are so big there that no neoghbhoor it's annoyed 'cause everybody around it's invited. 

I think this is to be a good neighboor I'd like to have neighboors like that.


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## tvdxer

I think a lot of the differences regarding "what makes a good neighbor" between countries can be chalked up to the different living situations that predominate in each nation.

In Spain and Italy, for example, the vast majority live in apartments, which most of them own - both's homeownership rates are among the highest in the world, despite the fact that the home they own is just a segment of a building.  Respecting others' privacy is perhaps so highly valued because 1) it's so easy to NOT respect others' privacy, and 2) even though your dwelling might be on the top or side or both of another, it's YOUR dwelling, not a landlord's.  

In the U.S. and Canada, most people live in detached single family houses with yards of varying size.  It may be easier to respect privacy this way, because families live farther apart from one another, hence less opportunities for interference in another's personal or private matters.  I don't know how apartments are constructed in Italy, but I'm guessing you can fairly easily eavesdrop on your neighbors by pressing your head to your own floor or wall, or simply hearing anywhere them if they're loud.  Not the case for most North Americans.  Although many DO rent apartments, moreso than in the U.K. or Ireland, but apartment dwellers tend to be younger people, poorer people, and people in large cities, where privacy might be valued more.


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## Grux

Tvdxer, it is true that nowadays most people in Spain live in a flat (basically because they cannot afford a house), but if I understand you, according to your theory on the relationship between living situation and the concept of "good neighbour", people from U.S. or Canada should be more tolerant with noise than Spaniards or Italians, and I am not sure if this is true. For example Vanest say that in Canada neighbours get very upset with noisy parties.

After reading the different posts, it seems that in most countries we all agree with Chaska's definition: "a good neighbour helps you when you need help, and keeps his or her distance when you don't", and it is also clear that in the cities the "good neighbour" tend to be more distant than in rural areas. However, regarding the noise issue, there seem to exist a clear cultural difference between latinamerican people and people from U.S, Canada or Europe.


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## federicoft

From my experience, I can say building standards in countries such as Spain or Italy tend to be quite different from those adopted in the US. Flats here have thick walls, doors and floors, and you can't generally hear the noise from other apartments. Anyway it's true that people living in flats tend to be more sensitive about their privacy than people living in detached houses.

As regards help, nobody here expects any kind of help from his neighbours, except in case of emergency of course. Asking for minor favors such as borrowing a tool is OK, but anything more than that would be considered rude and pushy.


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## Grux

federicoft said:


> Flats here have thick walls, doors and floors, and you can't generally hear the noise from other apartments.


 I'm afraid we cannot say the same in Spain. An average-quality flat here has thin walls and you can hear easily to your neighbours. The law has changed recently so that in new buildings the walls will have better acoustic isolation, but in most current flats we say that "the walls are made of paper"



federicoft said:


> As regards help, nobody here expects any kind of help from his neighbours, except in case of emergency of course. Asking for minor favors such as borrowing a tool is OK, but anything more than that would be considered rude and pushy.


The same in Spanish cities, in rural areas is a bit diffrent.


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## emm1366

Odysseus54 said:


> Yo sé que tengo un vecino que debe ser latino por el tipo de musica que todos los fines de semana se pone a 'compartir' con el barrio ( casas separadas, pero no importa porque usa altoparlantes de destruccion masiva ) , sin que nadie se lo haya pedido.
> 
> Ja ja ja; buen comentario.
> Los habitantes de nuestra costa norte tienen fama de ruidosos. Compran los equipos de sonido más estrafalarios. Conocí a unos que tenían un parlante de 2 metros de alto por 1.5 m de ancho. El volumen sube cuando el licor anega los sentidos.
> 
> Bueno, a mi me gusta la musica antigua y eso que le gusta a el ( salsa, merengue, vallenato ) me parece basura auditiva de la peor - opinion seguramente equivocada y que me da verguenza  , que sin embargo tengo el derecho de cultivar en mi propio hogar. De suerte tengo unas ventanas anti-huracan que al mismo tiempo sirven de aislamiento acustico, lo que me ahorra la molestia y las inevitables peleas con el.
> 
> Buena solución.
> La música tropical suena bien sólo en temporada decembrina (Para mi gusto) pero no es de lo peor; sólo que a ti no te gusta.
> 
> Para mi, italiano del centro y muy poco americanizado, el mejor vecino es callado, reservado y al mismo tiempo amistoso, sin ponerse intrusivo. Y considero hacer mucho ruido una de las peores intrusiones en mi vida.
> 
> Aqui' en Miami, por la mezcla cultural que sabemos, la cuestion del ruido es un problema , y a veces, en ciertos barrios, acaba en tiroteos, por la diferencia de interpretacion cultural que la gente le da.


 
¡Hey! Nunca me invites a una de estas fiestas. Por aquí los problemas los resolvemos a golpes y generalmente son por cuestiones de faldas.


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## Miguelillo 87

Grux said:


> Tvdxer, it is true that nowadays most people in Spain live in a flat (basically because they cannot afford a house), but if I understand you, according to your theory on the relationship between living situation and the concept of "good neighbour", people from U.S. or Canada should be more tolerant with noise than Spaniards or Italians, and I am not sure if this is true. For example Vanest say that in Canada neighbours get very upset with noisy parties.
> 
> After reading the different posts, it seems that in most countries we all agree with Chaska's definition: "a good neighbour helps you when you need help, and keeps his or her distance when you don't", and it is also clear that in the cities the "good neighbour" tend to be more distant than in rural areas. However, regarding the noise issue, there seem to exist a clear cultural difference between latinamerican people and people from U.S, Canada or Europe.


 
I couldn't say it best!!!! I think it's a very good conclusion for this post.

P.S But I think we need the point of view of some asians, They haven't shown up yet and I supposed they have a new whole different point of view.


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## tvdxer

Grux said:


> Tvdxer, it is true that nowadays most people in Spain live in a flat (basically because they cannot afford a house), but if I understand you, according to your theory on the relationship between living situation and the concept of "good neighbour", people from U.S. or Canada should be more tolerant with noise than Spaniards or Italians, and I am not sure if this is true. For example Vanest say that in Canada neighbours get very upset with noisy parties.
> 
> After reading the different posts, it seems that in most countries we all agree with Chaska's definition: "a good neighbour helps you when you need help, and keeps his or her distance when you don't", and it is also clear that in the cities the "good neighbour" tend to be more distant than in rural areas. However, regarding the noise issue, there seem to exist a clear cultural difference between latinamerican people and people from U.S, Canada or Europe.



I never said that Americans or Canadians were more tolerant of noise, only that loud noises are not as much of a daily problem because dwellings have more distance between them.  For example, we live on roughly 2 hectares of land, and our nearest neighbors are about 300m away, so we can make a ton of noise, and they'll barely hear it, if they'll hear it at all.  (Although they did complain about my brother practicing shooting his very loud guns).

Of course, having 2 ha of land is not the norm in the U.S. (although it is not rare, nor prohibitively expensive - about the same as a normal-sized plot in a suburb).  But the fact that you can be louder without people hearing you in a house than an apartment remains.


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## Odysseus54

Another difference is that in the country a good neighbor can be a support - in the city you already have all services available and a neighbor who brings you a bowl of hot soup when you are sick is not really necessary.  Plus, in the city you see people all the time, and tons of them - when you go home you want to be left alone.  In the country, talking with the corn and the cows and the birds gets old, and seeing friendly people at the end of the day is nice.


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## tvdxer

Odysseus54 said:


> Another difference is that in the country a good neighbor can be a support - in the city you already have all services available and a neighbor who brings you a bowl of hot soup when you are sick is not really necessary.  Plus, in the city you see people all the time, and tons of them - when you go home you want to be left alone.  In the country, talking with the corn and the cows and the birds gets old, and seeing friendly people at the end of the day is nice.



That's very true.

I should mention the positive aspects (rather than the "do-nots" of being a good neighbor) in the U.S., and I would suppose Anglophone Canada as well.  

- A good neighbor says "Hi" when you see them; they're friendly and not overly reserved.  An excessively reserved neighbor would appear snooty or snobbish, thinking he's too good for you.
- A good neighbor assists you in tasks when you need help.  For example, around here it snows a lot, and a "good neighbor" would help somebody dig out their car in a particularly bad snowstorm, or shovel an old lady's sidewalk.  Also, they may borrow you something when needed.
- A good neighbor mows their lawn.  (An unmowed lawn next to a perfectly mowed one is considered a huge eyesore).
- A good neighbor is not intrusive, but might invite you over for dinner when you first move in, or bring you something.  This seems to be an increasingly antiquated custom, however, as people become more mobile.

Personally I like the idea of a "good neighbor" in the U.S. a bit more than a "good neighbor" in Italy or Spain.  From this thread and my own very limited experience, it seems like people there reserve more of their interactions to their primary social networks, rather than talk with "strangers".  (It seemed like every bar I went to when I was in Spain was filled with cliques who did not seem to have any need for interaction with other people; I have very little experience with bars in the U.S., but it seems like here there are more people who go to bars primarily to MEET people, not just MEET WITH people).


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## argentina84

In Argentina it is customary to greet your neighbours when you meet them on the streets or anywhere! And if you are not in a hurry you might find yourself having a friendly chat for at least 5 minutes! You know the people who live next to you pretty well after some years.

On the contrary, in Sweden you don't greet your neighbours. What's more, you dont even know them! I have lived here for 3 months already and I have still not met anyone!


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## Mishe

Unfortunately here in SLovenia, good relations with neighbours are a rarity. There seems to be a lot of competition and envy going on, but I thought about it many times and I concluded it has probably a lot to do with smallness and limited space. There is nothing more usual here than someone pressing charges against his neighbour because of most idiotic things. I hope I'm not generalizing too much, it's just my general impression.


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## Muwahid

In the US neighborly activity is very diverse; for example, I lived in one neighborhood for 13 years, didn't really know any of the neighbors. It seems here, either the neighbors (Like in Apartment buildings) will keep to themselves, or be nosy very rare to find an in between. Sometimes they keep to themselves but are nosy too!

I would say the ideal neighbor here though, would be the ones that don't get in your face too much. People more or else treat you like strangers in these more secular-modern countries, it's a real down side.

However in the middle east, usually families live close to each other in cities and towns, and family friends all live down the street, and the mood will usually be more exciting on a daily basis, people get involved with each other, people talk to each other. I'm not sure how it is in the cities but if you live amongst the real Arab type they love to talk, share stories, and etc, but then again no ones really a stranger there either.


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## Bigote Blanco

Un dicho

"The best neighbor is a tall fence."


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## sokol

In Austria there's a huge difference between big cities and the countryside.

In cities, a good neighbour is somebody who minds his own business, who is non-intrusive and respects your private sphere; a bad neighbour would be somebody over-inquisitive and talking behind one's back (and partying through the night when you need sleep, or cooking on his balcony after 10 pm and so on).
It is expected that you greet your neighbours when you meet them in your apartment block, however no such thing is expected if you meet them on the street or in a shop (except if you've developed friendship).
Some try to make friends with neighbours occupying the apartments next to one's own, but some don't.

In the countryside however a good neighbour is expected to help out whenever there is need, as already was described in some posts above for rural regions elsewhere. Usually you will know your neighbours pretty well; however whether you make close friends or not is entirely up to you (and your neighbours, obviously).
Also you will greet your neighbours if you recognise them, be it on the street or in a shop (in smaller communities you will even great anybody even if you actually don't recognise someone, you even do if you meet somebody who you're sure is a stranger).
A bad neighbour in the countryside would be - in addition to what I've said about city dwellers - also somebody who is _*not*_ helping out when there's need, or even worse, somebody who's suing you because a farmer's boy aged 12 is driving the tractor (against the law but very common), to give but one example of bad neighbours.

Further I'd like to point out that there are good and bad "neighbourhoods" (in the most literal sense) both in cities and rural regions: it really depends. I know some tiny villages where neighbours can't stand each other and even try to sue each other whenever an opportunity offers itself, and the same is true for towns; as is the case for the opposite - good neighbourship both exists in towns and villages.


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## Encolpius

I think a properly trimmed shrub in your garden (like this nice picture) is the first step for a nice relationship with your neighbours...


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## LilianaB

The best neighbor is a neighbor that you don't even know that he or she is your neighbor.  (this is my very personal view -- you don't have to associate it with any culture although it may have roots in Germanic cultures, even Baltic to some extent)


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## Encolpius

But seriously, as I child I did experience mostly excellent relations in our street or in our village...it was many years ago and a completely different era...people needed each other...earlier, as I heard, *they needed each other* even more...there were few families who had a car or a phone, and earlier even a television... now people do not USUALLY need each other, but there are moments when you wish you had a nice neighbour....I think this is one of things we start losing in the modern EU-USA society and I feel rather sad about that....although I am not a sociable at all....


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## Omada

Odysseus54 said:


> Another difference is that in the country a good neighbor can be a support - in the city you already have all services available and a neighbor who brings you a bowl of hot soup when you are sick is not really necessary.  Plus, in the city you see people all the time, and tons of them - when you go home you want to be left alone.  In the country, talking with the corn and the cows and the birds gets old, and seeing friendly people at the end of the day is nice.



I agree with this.


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## ewie

A good neighbour is anyone who lives more than 3 miles* away from you

(Or 4.8km.)


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## LilianaB

I would say more like 50 miles*.  (definitely not sharing the roadway next to your home)  


* English miles, not necessarily Swedish.


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## LiseR

In Russian they have this saying about good neighbours  : good neighbours are the ones you can visit in the evening just to ask for some onion, and then stay to drink brandy till the morning (Хорошие соседи — это когда с вечера можно зайти за луком, и до утра пить коньяк).


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## velisarius

A good neighbour is anyone who lives close enough to hear you shouting when you've accidentally shut yourself in the henhouse or locked yourself out in your underwear.

(Not that I'd ever be silly enough to do those things of course - well, I've never shut myself in the henhouse in my underwear anyway.)


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## Guajara-Mirim

Por acá en Francia la gente no está tan agradable. Se limita a: "Hola". Mis vecinos que son jóvenes acerca de los 25 años nunca me han dicho otra cosa que "hola" lo que me sorprende mucho, además, tenemos casi la misma edad (tengo 17 años). ¿Extraño?


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## Mackinder

Certainly, someone who will not laugh like a freaking demon-possessed maniac at freaking 1am! -.-


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## إسكندراني

In Egypt we have this expression. - though it's a bit old fashioned it still rings true in many places- a kid would go to the neighbours house and say 'mama sends her greetings and asks you if you have [half a kilo of butter / insert required thing here]. Neighbours in all Muslim countries tend to live a very intimate existence, traditionally anyway.


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## Guajara-Mirim

Ginazec said:


> Certainly, someone who will not laugh like a freaking demon-possessed maniac at freaking 1am! -.-



Debe ser esto.  Pero, hallo esta cosa extrañísima... 

Sea bienvenido Ginazec.


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## Mackinder

Guajara-Mirim said:


> Debe ser esto.  Pero, hallo esta cosa extrañísima...
> 
> Sea bienvenido Ginazec.



Merci beaucoup et toi aussi!


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## Guajara-Mirim

Ginazec said:


> Merci beaucoup et toi aussi!



Je suis sûr que tu serais un bon voisin.


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## Mackinder

Guajara-Mirim said:


> Je suis sûr que tu serais un bon voisin.



lol


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## rolmich

Vanest said:


> I think this is an excellent definition of what it means to be a good neighbour. Especially the keeping your distance when help is not needed. I bring this up because I had a neighbour (here in Vancouver) who apparently thought we needed her 'help' all the time in the form of discarded items and food that she no longer wanted or had any use for. When we didn't use the things she forced upon us, she got very angry and accused us of being ungrateful, unfriendly and not appreciating her generosity.
> This is the situation that prompted me to ask this question. I wanted to know if I had done something 'un-neighbourly' in order to cause this fury. I wanted to know if maybe it is perfectly normal to give leftover food and old clothes to your neighbour, and, not only that, if this is expected. I have now confirmed that it is not so. Thank you everybody for your answers and participation, it has been very helpful for me.


There are people who simply cannot throw out things (myself to start with). Call it beeing stingy, or else, showing a sense of thriftiness. Of course there are limits, and before offering your leftovers or old clothes to a neighbour, you should think about the way it will be appreciated!


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## Glockenblume

I've the impression that there are great differences between the different region inside a country.
I'm German, and different experience of my own country:
little towns (about 10 000 habitants) in a rural region: not greeting and not discussing at all is unpolite; you can ask for help; you can give the key to some of your neighbours when absenting you; but they accept that you have other closer friends than them.
bigger towns: if you want to be anonymous, it's OK, it's your decision; but it's possible to have more contacts, too.
I live actually in France (a 1000 habitants village): at least once a year, someone organizes a street festival; neighbours allow us to collect their fruits when they are on holiday, we can ask for help and so on


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## irinet

In Bucharest, for instance, I don't have good neighbours: they always interfere! And it is a big city.
On the other hand, I used to live in a small town where the notion of 'good neighbour' is related to Chaska's definition.
I suppose that being a good neighbour very much depends on our education and common-sense and it's not the city nor the type of building that can change our behaviour or manners.


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## Sabretooth

The city in which I live here in the United States is actually referred to as "The City of Good Neighbors" (Buffalo, NY). Here, being a 'good neighbor' means sticking together no matter what. When we get snowstorms or bad weather, we help each other out, whether it means helping neighbors shovel their driveways or letting people borrow generators if their power has gone out. It can mean donating money or food to local food banks to help those less fortunate in our community, or it can mean passionately supporting a person's dreams (that is, strongly hoping that they become successful) solely because they come from our city. It is not uncommon to see someone stopped at the side of the road trying to fix a flat tire, and then see another citizen stop to help them out.

That's what it means to be a good neighbor here in Buffalo.


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## franknagy

Yo tengo a buen vecinos y una vecina mala. Ella afila su oreja y se trata como ella sería la portería.


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## Stéphane89

Maybe it's because I live in a big city, but I've been used to not having many contacts with my neighbors since I was a kid. So to me, a good neighbor is someone who's calm and discreet, says hello when we meet in the building's entrance, and minds his own business. I don't mind helping a neighbor who needs something, but it doesn't go further than that.


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