# the pitfalls of translating literally



## Q-cumber

How do you do? - Как ты это делаешь? 
All right! - Все правой! 

Copyright - Скопировано правильно 

All Rights Reserved - Все правые заняты. 

I'm fine. How are you? - У меня тонкий. А у тебя? 

What's up? - Кто сверху? 

Give me a buzz when you're done. - Подайте мне автобус, когда надоест ждать.

To Be Continued - Две пчелы продолжали 

Let it be - оставь это пчелкам. 
Let it be! - Давайте есть пчел! 

Sleep well - сонный источник 

by the way - купи рельсы 

I'll be back - я стану попкой пчелки 

Undressed custom model - Голая таможенная модель 

Manicure - Деньги лечат 

I`m just asking - Я всего лишь король задниц 

God only knows - Единственный нос бога 

Oh, dear - Ах, олень 

I saw my honey today - Я пилил мой мед сегодня 

I`m going to make you mine - Я иду копать тебе шахту 

Finnish people - Конченые люди 

Phone seller - Позвони продавцу 

Let`s have a party - Давайте организуем партию 

Watch out! - Посмотри снаружи! 

I know his story well - Я знаю исторический колодец 

Press space bar to continue - Космический бар прессы продолжает


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## Ptak

What's this?


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## Q-cumber

*Ptak*

Just a linguistic joke.


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## Jana337

Not a typical thread but it is amusing and can be useful for learners.


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## Crescent

Q-cumber said:


> *Ptak*
> 
> Just a linguistic joke.



Q-cumber, I love it!   Thank you so much for the five minutes of interrupted laughter that you have brought me.


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## Nanon

Oh my God! I will never say "just asking" anymore...
Thanks Q-cumber! And thanks Jana - it is now clear enough to learners that none of these translations should be used except for this  purpose!


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## Ptak

Jana337 said:


> Not a typical thread but it is amusing and can be useful for learners.


useful??

Ok, I know it's a joke (very old for Russians), but I don't think that all the learners could know it. Someone can take it seriously.


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## cyanista

My favourites are:

Dance around the clock - танец вокруг   часов

Still life with eggplant - тихая жизнь   с баклажаном

Окружающая среда - surrounding Wednesday

Международная обстановка - international furniture

Он стоял, стоял, потом взял да   и вышел - he stood stood then took yes and went out


http://www.lingvofanclub.info/pearls.htm


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## Q-cumber

* cyanista*

"тихая жизнь с баклажаном" - это пять!


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## Q-cumber

Ptak said:


> useful??
> 
> Ok, I know it's a joke (very old for Russians), but I don't think that all the learners could know it. Someone can take it seriously.



Perhaps we need to provide some kind of reverse translation then.


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## Crescent

Cyanista - thank you so much for the link! I really had the giggles reading some of the quotes! My favourite ones were:

*1. -So, are you runnin' for president? *
- Так ты чего, бегаешь за президентом?
_(из__ Head of the state)


_ *2.Marginal taxes are up to 20%.* 
_Студент:_ Маргинальные таксы выросли на 20 процентов. 
_Вопрос_: Что ж они так выросли-то? 
_Студент_: Так жизнь тяжелая.

*3. Silver is the best conductor of electricity* - Сильвер - лучший проводник электрички

 
Ну, и конечно же баклажаны..


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## Q-cumber

Вчера. Фильм "Стой, а то мама будет стрелять". Перевод _синхронный_.
По ходу фильма пожилая мама _пытается_ вспомнить слова колыбельной,
которую пела когда-то сыну.
(оригинал) - Oh, shit!
(перевод) - Дай бог памяти... (с)
...........
Перевод ПРОМТом <translating software> инструкции по инсталяции ПО: 
оригинал: "Just execute the installer". 
перевод: "Просто казните монтажника".


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## Athaulf

Crescent said:


> *3. Silver is the best conductor of electricity* - Сильвер - лучший проводник электрички



Could someone explain the joke this one? I remember hearing the word _серебро_ in some Russian songs, which I guess means the same as Croatian _srebro_ (= _silver_). What would be the point of translating _silver_ it as _сильвер_? Is there anything unusual or funny about the other words?

Yeah, I know it's not funny if you have to explain it, but I'm still curious.


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## Nanon

Ahem... I'll have a try, Athaulf - it's about the other words indeed:

Сильвер - лучший проводник электрички
(Mr) Silver is the best conductor of electric train(s)


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## Athaulf

Nanon said:


> Ahem... I'll have a try, Athaulf - it's about the other words indeed:
> 
> Сильвер - лучший проводник электрички
> (Mr) Silver is the best conductor of electric train(s)



Now I get it... thanks! 

But can _проводник_ also mean a conductor of electricity in Russian? In Serbian_, _the exact same word is used for "conductor" in electrical engineering, and (as far as I know) nothing else.


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## Nanon

Athaulf said:


> But can _проводник_ also mean a conductor of electricity in Russian? I



To my knowledge and according to my Oжeгoв dictionary, yes, it does also mean a conductor of electricity.
I suppose the word conductor was misleading the translator here - hence _электричкa_, an electric, sometimes suburban, train - and, as far as I know, nothing else, but I'm neither a native nor an electricity or railway specialist...


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## Crescent

Nanon said:


> To my knowledge and according to my Oжeгoв dictionary, yes, it does also mean a conductor of electricity.
> I suppose the word conductor was misleading the translator here - hence _электричкa_, an electric, sometimes suburban, train - and, as far as I know, nothing else, but I'm neither a native nor an electricity or railway specialist...



Athaulf, Nanon couldn't be more right in what she says! Indeed, the whole joke here is based on the word play of the two meaning of the word ''проводник'' - conductor and ..driver (I think? Is that what we call them in English?). It's also quite amusing because conductor in English also refers to a musical conductor, and when I sometimes try to translate it directly into russian (and come out with _кондуктор_) it sounds really quite funny when I try and say things like: Вчера, я пошла на концерт Рахманинова.. Ну, пианист был ничего, а вот кондуктор..! )  

With the ''Silver'' - there is nothing tricky here. No word play or anything. Just that instead of translating 'silver' as a word (серебро) they have translated it as a name - obviously to make the whole ''conductor'' joke work in context. The whole point of that was the fact that the conductor of the electrical train has to be a person, (not a metal which silver is ) and that's why they've done it here. 

Do you understand better now, Athaulf? You may now giggle away in peace..


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## Athaulf

Crescent said:


> Athaulf, Nanon couldn't be more right in what she says! Indeed, the whole joke here is based on the word play of the two meaning of the word ''проводник'' - conductor and ..driver (I think? Is that what we call them in English?).



 Actually, in the context of the public transport, _conductor_ in English means an officer who sells and controls the tickets in a train or bus. (In Croatian and Serbian, the same word exists in the form _kondukter_.) Apparently, the calque _проводник_ in Russian has both the engineering and the public transit meaning:

_проводник
м. (электрического тока, теплоты и т. п.) conductor;
_ _2. (в поезде) attendant; steward амер.

_


> Do you understand better now, Athaulf? You may now giggle away in peace..


 Да, спасибо за объяснение! This one is almost as hilarious as the one with the eggplant.


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## Maroseika

Crescent said:


> With the ''Silver'' - there is nothing tricky here.


You know, Crescent, it seems to me Silver here is also very important.
At least my first association was John Silver from the "Treasure Island". Wasn't here very good silver conductor - from one's pocket to his own?


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## Maroseika

My favourite:
- Two tickets to Dublin!
- Куда, блин?
- Туда, блин!


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## scriptum

Athaulf said:


> Apparently, the calque _проводник_ in Russian has both the engineering and the public transit meaning:
> 
> _проводник_
> _м. (электрического тока, теплоты и т. п.) conductor;_
> _2. (в поезде) attendant; steward амер._


To the best of my knowledge, the English phrase "naked conductors run under the vagons" has long become a Russian proverb...


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## Nanon

Oh, Athaulf, I forgot to say - but it is almost self-explanatory - it is most unlikely to see a distinguished Mr Silver in the humble role of a проводник in a Russian train.
Unless we are talking about some James Bond film, of course...


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## beclija

This one is not Russian, but maybe it works as well for you:

Možete li me prevesti na drugu stranu ulice? (Croatian)
Can you translate me to the second page of the street?


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## Vladislav

> My favourite:
> - Two tickets to Dublin!
> - Куда, блин?
> - Туда, блин!


 
This one appeared first on MTV, right? There were some awards in and you could get a ticket "tuda blin". Or it's older?

Q-cumber if some day we vote for the most original question in WR, count on my vote!


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## Maroseika

Vladislav said:


> This one appeared first on MTV, right? There were some awards in and you could get a ticket "tuda blin". Or it's older?


I have no idea, sorry. I don't watch this programm.


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## Carrie2

A genuine translation from a film:

English (original): Oh, God!
Russian (translation): Вот гад!

(In American English _God_ does actually sound quite like _гад_...)

Maroseika: Yes, I've always liked that joke too!


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## Crescent

beclija said:


> This one is not Russian, but maybe it works as well for you:
> 
> Možete li me prevesti na drugu stranu ulice? (Croatian)
> Can you translate me to the second page of the street?



Oh, I think I know this one! In Russian it would be:

-Можете меня перевести на другую сторону улицы? 
- Can you translate me to the second page of the street?

I suppose it doesn't quite work because page and сторона are not the same thing, whereas (I imagine) in Croatian it means the same, or nearly the same, no?


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## I Am Herenow

Nice lol 

Although I think that "Давайте организуем партию" is the only one anyone could seriously get confused about - the rest are just jokes, not something that someone would realistically write in an essay.

Similarly - "протестанты" for "protestors".


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## Q-cumber

Вспомнил анекдот: Новый русский останавливается в лондонской гостинице. Звонит по телефону в бар:
- Ту ти ту-ту-ту!
-Beg your pardon!?
-Два чая в двадцать второй номер, блин! 




(Two tea to two-two!)


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## Athaulf

Crescent said:


> Oh, I think I know this one! In Russian it would be:
> 
> -Можете меня перевести на другую сторону улицы?
> - Can you translate me to the second page of the street?
> 
> I suppose it doesn't quite work because page and сторона are not the same thing, whereas (I imagine) in Croatian it means the same, or nearly the same, no?



Yes, in Croatian _strana_ means both _side_ and _page_, although I think that _stranica_ is preferred in the latter sense. There are several false friends between Croatian and Russian with this root, e.g. _strani_ = _иностранный_, but _странный_ = _čudan_ (itself another weird false friend).


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## I Am Herenow

Athaulf said:


> Yes, in Croatian _strana_ means both _side_ and _page_, although I think that _stranica_ is preferred in the latter sense. There are several false friends between Croatian and Russian with this root, e.g. _strani_ = _иностранный_, but _странный_ = _čudan_ (itself another weird false friend).


 
Still, though, "stranica" and "страница" [stranyzza] works - i.e. "page".


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## Crescent

Athaulf said:


> Yes, in Croatian _strana_ means both _side_ and _page_, although I think that _stranica_ is preferred in the latter sense. There are several false friends between Croatian and Russian with this root, e.g. _strani_ = _иностранный_, but _странный_ = _čudan_ (itself another weird false friend).



Oh, I see! Thank you for your explanation, Athaulf.  The croatian ''stranica'' for some reason sounds like our russian ''страничка'' to me, but it isn't the diminuitive of ''strana'', is it? 

Oh, and I also see about our _faux amis! _ So, _strani = foreign_, but _čudan = strange/bizzare?  
_How interesting!


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## Athaulf

Crescent said:


> Oh, I see! Thank you for your explanation, Athaulf.  The croatian ''stranica'' for some reason sounds like our russian ''страничка'' to me, but it isn't the diminuitive of ''strana'', is it?



Yes. Grammatically, _stranica_ is the diminutive of _strana_, although it's rarely (if ever) used with this meaning.



> Oh, and I also see about our _faux amis! _ So, _strani = foreign_, but _čudan = strange/bizzare?
> _How interesting!


If someone from Croatia tells you that you're _čudna_, that's (normally) not a compliment.


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## Carrie2

Athaulf said:


> If someone from Croatia tells you that you're _čudna_, that's (normally) not a compliment.


 
Like чудной in Russian then, right?


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## Doktor Zlo

From the Russian Academy of Sciences' Web site:

Russian: Институт белка 
(тот есть, пептидов и полипептидов) 

English: Squirrel Institute


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## palomnik

Blood Test - крововерие.


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## Q-cumber

Doktor Zlo said:


> From the Russian Academy of Sciences' Web site:
> 
> Russian: Институт белка
> (тот есть, пептидов и полипептидов)
> 
> English: Squirrel Institute



Hehe.


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## Maroseika

Doktor Zlo said:


> From the Russian Academy of Sciences' Web site:
> 
> Russian: Институт белка
> (тот есть, пептидов и полипептидов)
> 
> English: Squirrel Institute


Сами придумали?
*Sorry, english version of the site is under construction.
http://www.ras.ru/sorry.htm
*


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## Slavianophil

I once looked up information on the churches of Yekaterinburg on a bilingual (Russian/English) web site. The term "духовное окормление" (spiritual guidance) was translated as "spiritual overfeeding".

But the funniest translation I have ever seen is this one:

Перевод разговора Виктора и Амелии о Наполеоне (фильм "Терминал") на одном из пиратских DVD.


Оригинал:
- But Napoleon?
- Yeah. He's one of my favorites. You know what saved Napoleon's life?
- No. 
- His ego. 
- Ego?
- Yes. After he loses the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon isolates himself of the tiny island of Saint Helena. No one knows exactly what happens next, but the version I like goes like this: he's very depressed and decides to take his own life. But Napoleon believes himself to be of such superhuman strength, that he takes six times the amount of poison needed to do the job. His stomach is so full up with poison that his body rejects it, and he doesn't die. See? Ego saved his life.
- Maybe he needs glasses. 
- Glasses?
- Yes. To read words on bottle.


Перевод: - Наполеон? 
- Да, это моя любимая. Знаешь, кто спас жизнь Наполеону?
- Нет. 
- Орёл! 
- Орёл? 
- Да. После сражения при Ватерлоо его заключили на острове Святой Елены. Точно не знаю, что там случилось, просто он впал в глубокую депрессию. Заперся в доме. А его пытались отравить. Пропитали ядом все книги. Но он часто смотрел на летающего орла - и организм справлялся с очередной порцией ядовитых испарений. И так он не умер. Орёл спас ему жизнь! Вот так.
- Может, ему очки нужны были? 
- Очки? 
- Очки. Он был бы дальше от книг.


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## dec-sev

Наверное многие знают, тем не менее:
- Вич воч?
- Хаф ту.
- Сач мач!
- Хум хау.
- Ю эндид иняз?
- Аскинг...


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## Doktor Zlo

Maroseika said:


> *Sorry, english version of the site is under construction.
> http://www.ras.ru/sorry.htm
> *



It ought to be. 

Actually, I got there from the Russian pages and switched to English.

http://www.ras.ru/win/db/show_org.asp?P=.oi-513.ln-en
and
http://www.ras.ru/sciencestructure/departments.aspx?rcen=5.


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## Saluton

Vladislav said:


> This one appeared first on MTV, right? There were some awards in and you could get a ticket "tuda blin". Or it's older?


The joke about "tuda, blin" was already old at that time. They just screened it.


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## dec-sev

Stick it to the man. Раз уж основная ветка заглохла, то пусть будет "приклей это на мужика"

Шварценеггер -- афро-американский афро-американец. (Политически корректный перевод).

It can't be helped -- этому не поможешь. (Из разговора врачей о больном ветрянкой).



Vladislav said:


> Q-cumber if some day we vote for the most original question in WR, count on my vote!


Я бы проголосовал за объявление Яны о сексе -- просмотров больше, чем скачиваний фильма "Эротический массаж" с сервера нашей локальной сети, а результат такой же as far as expectations are concerned


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## Q-cumber

* I fell in love — Я свалился в любовь
* I have been there — У меня там фасоль
* Just in case — Только в портфеле
* We are the champions — Мы шампиньоны
* I will never give up — Меня никогда не тошнит
* Bye bye baby, baby good bye — Купи купи ребенка, ребенок хорошая покупка
* I will never give up — Меня никогда не стошнит
* Bad influence — Плохая простуда
* Good products — Бог на стороне уток
* I’ve just saw your balance sheet — Видел я ваш баланс …так себе баланс


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## I Am Herenow

A female English student telling a Russian person that she is not a smoker (from a BBC site):

- Куришь?
- Нет, я не курица.

I Am Herenow


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## Sonnia

What have I done! - Что меня сделало! (c) Magic Gooddy


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## morzh

Cut sheet feeder - скармливатель мелконарезанного дерьма.


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## rusita preciosa

потомство - procrastination


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## morzh

I wanted to put these two files for popular reading here.

One is election program in English.
Another one - translated Russian vesrion.

It is a real deal, no hoax.

Unfortunately the small size precludes the small print from being legible, but if someone know how to post a well-viewable file here, let me know.
I laughed my pants off reading this one. It is even better than those Chinese translations everyone laughs at.


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## Maroseika

It would be really funny if made by a human, but it's quite evident it was translated by the machine.


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## dec-sev

Пиковая дама >> The Queen of Spades >> Королева лопат


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## morzh

dec-sev said:


> Наверное многие знают, тем не менее:
> - Вич воч?
> - Хаф ту.
> - Сач мач!
> - Хум хау.
> - Ю эндид иняз?
> - Аскинг...



This popular amongst "INYAZ" students of all soviet (and, probably, Russian) colleges joke is actually a bit distorted scene from the movie "Casablanca".

Here's the original conversation:


*Carl*: To America!  
*Mr. Leuchtag*: Liebchen - sweetnessheart, what watch?  
*Mrs. Leuchtag*: Ten watch.  
*Mr. Leuchtag*: Such much?  
*Carl*: Hm. You will get along beautiful in America, mm-hmm. 


How it became a Russian INYAZ joke - that is a mystery to me.


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## morzh

Holy Shit >> Срань Божия.


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## Maroseika

morzh said:


> How it became a Russian INYAZ joke - that is a mystery to me.


What's really misterious here - that Russian and German ways to spoil English coincide.


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## dec-sev

Maroseika said:


> What's really misterious here - that Russian and German ways to spoil English coincide.


We'll always have Paris  I mean we'll always have the German forum to ask about such things


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## morzh

Maroseika said:


> What's really misterious here - that Russian and German ways to spoil English coincide.



Could have something to do with "Uhr" used as "Watch" and as "hour" in "wie viel Uhr ist es?"

"Uhr" is "o'clock". 
So, "Es ist zehn uhr" is "it is 10 o'clock".
Or simply "Zehn Uhr" - "10 o'clock"
However, "Uhr" also being "watch", it becomes "Ten Watch". ("Uhr" is singular, and so then is "watch").

All in all, many technology-related stuff came in Russian from German, Germany being the first country that educated Russia and outfitted it with technology, and also the closest. So lots of expressions in these areas are calques from German, and so when they are "word-for-word" translated into English, lots of them may sound similar.


However, the particular joke we are talking about did after all come from "Casablanca" movie, and this explains the similarity in this particular case.


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## dec-sev

Не знаю, стоит ли, и можем ли мы в рамках этой ветки обсуждать происхождение этой шутки, но она вполне могла родиться у нас и без этого фильма. Я, например, работал с человеком, который совершенно серьезно считал, что правильно будет сказать "half four", а не "half past three". И эта ветка доказывает, что подобные ляпсусы могут родиться и без Касабланки. И если шутка действительно пришла к кам из этого фильма, то что же стало с другими крылатыми фразами из Касабланки? Получается так, что про вич воч все знают, а другие, такие как про Париж, начало замечательной дружбы и т.д., как то не прижились. Впрочем, "песня не о нём", в смысле, ветка не о происхождении этой шутки.


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## morzh

dec-sev said:


> Не знаю, стоит ли, и можем ли мы в рамках этой ветки обсуждать происхождение этой шутки, но она вполне могла родиться у нас и без этого фильма. Я, например, работал с человеком, который совершенно серьезно считал, что правильно будет сказать "half four", а не "half past three". И эта ветка доказывает, что подобные ляпсусы могут родиться и без Касабланки. И если шутка действительно пришла к кам из этого фильма, то что же стало с другими крылатыми фразами из Касабланки? Получается так, что про вич воч все знают, а другие, такие как про Париж, начало замечательной дружбы и т.д., как то не прижились. Впрочем, "песня не о нём", в смысле, ветка не о происхождении этой шутки.



Yes. Maybe we should start a new topic, but it is not really Russian-language-related so I'm not sure if it's legal here.

However, here's the link about your "half four".

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080904025011AAqrzBt

With exception it would mean 4:30 (not 3:30) it is actually used by some natives.


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## dec-sev

morzh said:


> Yes. Maybe we should start a new topic, but it is not really Russian-language-related so I'm not sure if it's legal here.


 Better ask cyanista.



morzh said:


> However, here's the link about your "half four".
> 
> http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080904025011AAqrzBt
> 
> With exception it would mean 4:30 (not 3:30)<<  >>it is actually used by some natives.


Насчет, "some natives", так некоторые говорят "hе sick", вместо "he is sick". На этом предлагаю офф-топик закончить.


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## dec-sev

...И не виновен, что живой
Остался в этой круговерти.

es mejor una lápida que diga "Aquí huyó un cobarde" 
que una que diga "Aquí murió un valiente".


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## maraintranslation

"Бородатый" анекдот в тему:
Русский турист за границей в отеле звонит на ресепшн и оставляет заказ : " Ту ти ту ту-ту", все ломают голову, но не могут понять , что он имел ввиду. В итоге посылают к нему служащего отеля с вежливой просьбой пояснить свою просьбу. И в ответ получают: " Ну вы и тупые! Что ж тут непонятного то? Ту ти ту ту-ту= два чая в двадцать второй!(=номер)"


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