# to stay



## tedfromtoronto

I'm trying to find the character for "stay", as "I'm staying in Shanghai".  This is from unit 2, Pimsleur, which does not give you the writing.

Possible candidates are: 待 or 呆。  Collins has 住, but this isn't the word presented in Pimsleur.  Thanks.


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## brofeelgood

Generally:
*
住: to live in (usually of a more permanent nature)*
- 我住在上海。 _I live in Shanghai._

*待/呆: to stay at (more transient, like... to hang out)*
- 我会在上海呆几天。 _I will stay in Shanghai for a few days._
- 你在这里待着，别走开。 _Stay here, don't wander off.
_
Of course, these are just guidelines, not hard and fast rules. People often bend them and swap the two back and forth. For example, no one would bat an eyelid if you said either "我不想在上海呆一辈子。" or "我不想在上海住一辈子。"_ I don't want to stay in Shanghai my whole life._


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## Skatinginbc

Does the character 呆 meaning "stay" look kind of "stupid" (癡呆)?  I mean: Would sentences like 她在家里呆着 or 我不想在上海呆一辈子 evoke an image of an idle person doing nothing but dazing?


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## SuperXW

Skatinginbc said:


> Does the character 呆 meaning "stay" look kind of "stupid" (癡呆)?  I mean: Would sentences like 她在家里呆着 or 我不想在上海呆一辈子 evoke an image of an idle person doing nothing but dazing?


呆 and 待 are generally interchangeable nowadays. Indeed, 呆 may evoke the image that an idle person doing nothing but dazing, but 待 is not perfectly clear either.
待dai4 can mean the person is waiting there for something. In my opinion, both options are ambiguous.


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## fyl

I think people use 呆 to transcript the word because the major sound of 待 is dai4.
In modern dictionaries, 待 also has the sound dai1 and 呆 also has the meaning 'stay'. They are exactly the same.


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## retrogradedwithwind

Personally I won't be evoked an image of an idle person doing nothing by 呆在某地.

It just a character meaning stay.


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## tedfromtoronto

Thank you for your comments, especially the idea that "呆 and 待 are generally interchangeable nowadays", suggesting that language evolves.


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## Ali Smith

My dictionary says that dai1 (I don't know whether to write it as 呆 or 待, and right now I'm not concerned about that) means "to stay" but is colloquial. What is the formal word for "to stay"?

谢谢您


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## retrogradedwithwind

待（呆） is colloquial but is formal too. Excerpt that,  you can say  停留.


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## Ali Smith

Thanks! Actually, someone asked me 请问，你周末喜欢做什么？
I wanted to reply with 我周末喜欢呆在家。
Is this what a native speaker would say?


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## yuechu

Ali Smith said:


> I wanted to reply with 我周末喜欢呆在家。


I often hear "在家里", but I think "在家" might also be ok. Let's wait to see what native speakers say!


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## retrogradedwithwind

在家里 is probably a little more natural than 在家,  but I think 在家 is natural enough. 

周末我喜欢待在家里 is OK.


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## albert_laosong

Actually as a native speaker I also don't know what's the difference between 待家 and 呆家，I normally would use the former in more formal contexts，because using 呆 in formal context looks weird to me.
I can't think of a more formal way than 待家/待在家里面 to say "stay at home" in Chinese. Maybe there is, but I can't think of one now.

停留 normally is connected with 家 only in very specific contexts I think, for example 他是个商人，成天飞来飞去，一般在家停留不了几天/很少在家停留。

请问，你周末喜欢做什么？
我周末喜欢呆在家。
Yes it's very natural. You can also say 我周末喜欢呆在家里。or more informally you can say 我周末喜欢呆家。


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## SimonTsai

albert_laosong said:


> the difference between 待家 and 呆家


Here in Taiwan, the standard character to use is '待', and '在' is necessary.


SuperXW said:


> 呆 and 待 are generally interchangeable nowadays.


I am unsure of whether such interchangeability is taking place here, too. Personally, I stick to '待'.


Skatinginbc said:


> Would sentences like 她在家里呆着 or 我不想在上海呆一辈子 evoke an image of an idle person doing nothing but dazing?


Yes, possibly, for the first and no for the other.


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## ovaltine888

I agree with albert_laosong on the point that "待在家里" and "呆在家里” are both acceptable but "待” will be more comfortable when used in a formal context as "呆" has more or less some of negative implication like "idling" or "retarded" as mentioned in other replies.

When it comes to "stay at home", there is another popular verb which is "宅”, a word derived from Japanese Otaku——“我是个宅男，我通常喜欢宅在家里”

For more formal terms of "stay at home", I will think of "居家”—— "比起外出旅行，我更喜欢居家。” But it is not very commonly used this way. We see this word more often during Covid-19 pandemic as "居家隔离" (home isolation/quarantine).


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## SimonTsai

'宅' is a candidate but can take on a negative connotation, evoking an image of a man, typically in his 20s, spending most of his time confining himself to home and doing nothing constructive.


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## ovaltine888

SimonTsai said:


> '宅' is a candidate but can take on a negative connotation, evoking an image of a man, typically in his 20s, spending most of his time confining himself to home and doing nothing constructive.



You are linking 宅 to its original definition in Japanese which suggests negative and sometimes derogatory.

But I think in Chinese context, the word has become much more neutral. It has dropped the implication of "idling and doing nothing contructive". A hard working programmer can also be referred to a 宅男. 宅 simply means "always staying at home and unsocial.”

Therefore many Chinese youngsters do not mind referring themselves to 宅男宅女, and 宅在家里 has become a kind of lifestyle because of the thriving of Internet and face-to-face interaction being unnecessary.


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## SimonTsai

You are right that it has become much more neutral today, but, I would say, it is still derogatory to some people. (Many Americans are used to replying '_No problem_' to '_Thank you_', but some old Brits have issues with it.)


ovaltine888 said:


> many Chinese youngsters do not mind referring [to] themselves [as] 宅男宅女


I would say that is an instance of self-deprecating humour, which is okay when chatting with close friends.


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