# "That Time of The Month". Is the discussion of menstruation a taboo for you?



## ElaineG

Forgive me if this is upsetting to anyone, but I'm interested in knowing about the cultural taboos surrounding menstruation in our various countries, and particularly, if there's any country in the world where women are comfortable discussing this fact of life.

This thread was inspired by a discussion of the various euphemisms in the Italian-English forum, where it was noted that people come up with all kinds of circumlocutions rather than simply say "I'm menstruating."

Generally speaking, I'm fascinated by the fact that this phenomenon, which happens once a month _to virtually every woman in the world for 35-40 years_ is still considered such a taboo in polite company.  For example, no woman (that I know) would dream of saying at work, "I'm going home a little early today, I just got my period."  Instead, she'll say, "I'm sorry.  I have an upset stomach! I'm going to leave early."  Why?  Is it really better to be sickly than to have your period?  

In mixed company, a female friend will lean over and whisper in your ear, "do you have a tampax?", even if all the men in the room have been living with female partners for decades and know all about tampax (and have probably even been sent to buy them).

I'm not saying this shyness is _necessarily_ wrong.  I feel squeamish about it too -- even feel odd making this post.   But I'm curious if people have insight into why it's so taboo -- is it a hangover of ancient beliefs???


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## KateNicole

I think part of the reason why it's still slightly taboo in the US is simply because it's "bathroom related".  It might be embarassing to ask someone for an immodium in mixed company for the same reasons that "tampon talk" can also be embarassing.

I don't think that most American people are offended by the discussion of menstruation, rather they may avoid the topic simply because it's unappetizing (for lack of a better word.)


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## Sulizhen

Hello,

I guess that things are changing right now, but Spanish society is still conservative about this subject -among others. Euphemisms are the best (funniest) part, however -not to call it ridiculous! One of my 'favourite' ones to refer to the menstruation is that "María no ha venido porque está con la tía Juana/la tía Juana la ha venido a visitar" (_María hasn't come because her aunt Juana has came to visit her_... I don't really know why menstruation is called _Juana_, though), which is absurd because everyone knows what happens even if it is not clearly said... Besides this, and as you mentioned, people tend to prefer saying that one is sick instead of saying that one has an abdominal ache due to her menstruation, for example. In fact, the most extended word to say "menstruation" in Spanish is also an euphemism -"regla" (because is something regular) instead "menstruación".

There were also stupid beliefs related to the fact of menstruating. My mother told me that when she was a little child, some people thought that if a menstruating girl/woman touched a baby, then the baby wouldn't grow up (the same would happen if she touched a plant). A menstruating girl couldn't have a shower -or she would die. She couldn't prepare mayonnaise -or it would get rotten... And  I could go on and on for hours. I suppose that that was due to the -sometimes unconscious- association of menstruation with something dirty. And you know, you cannot expect something good from something dirty... Actually, I guess that this belief still persists, even if people have more information than some decades ago. The adverts of sanitary towels and 'tampax' still "sell" the idea that "you can feel clean and fresh, _even if _(note this) you are menstruating", so I think that that above-mentioned association will never disappear from society -it's something primitive and ancestral...


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## rhiannonhelen

In my opinion when an advert says you can feel clean and fresh even if you are menstruating, this is not referring to being seen socially as "dirty".  It is a natural fact that periods are slightly messy and make you feel less fresh - just as if you would feel if you were bleeding from any other part of your body!  Therefore I don't think messages from tampon adverts can be misconstrued as passing an opinion on whether a woman is seen as "dirty" by society during her period!


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## Residente Calle 13

ElaineG said:
			
		

> But I'm curious if people have insight into why it's so taboo -- is it a hangover of ancient beliefs???



I read, a long while back, that it's probable that prehistoric societies saw it as "magical" since, so the theory goes, 1) preganancy was more frequent, and menstruating women less common, 2) the fact that women "bled" to the rythm of the moon and didn't die was unexplainable.

A trace of that may be found in the role menstrual blood plays in philters.


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## Saoul

As I stated in the thread that Elaine talked about, I feel quite confident saying:

"I'm not going out tonight, since my girlfriend is mestruating"

In Italy it seems to be a bit "offensive". We use a lot of swearwords, and you can have people laughing when you say the worst things, but people freeze, if you say "mestruazioni".
Religion has probably quite a huge part in this, but not totally, since not only Catholic culture this seems to be a problem...


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## Angelina70

That is exactly why I made this posting - I am not sure how to mention this subject "properly", meaning not causing such freezes! It's not that I am embarrassed about menstruating!! I can of course easily speak about this with my boyfriend from Sicily but in other company, I simply do not know. My Italian is far from fluent so that is one part of the problem. And since Sicily is not equal to Italy in general, I am curious about how the subject is handled there.


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## coppergirl

Saoul said:
			
		

> As I stated in the thread that Elaine talked about, I feel quite confident saying:
> 
> "I'm not going out tonight, since my girlfriend is mestruating"
> 
> In Italy it seems to be a bit "offensive". We use a lot of swearwords, and you can have people laughing when you say the worst things, but people freeze, if you say "mestruazioni".
> Religion has probably quite a huge part in this, but not totally, since not only Catholic culture this seems to be a problem...


Hi Elaine, Saoul and everyone!

I'll have to check out the original thread in the I-E forum. In general, though, I think that things are changing a bit since my mum was my age. She would never tell anyone about it and was hugely embarassed if my dad had to pick up tampons or something at the store for her. In fact, my husband buys all this stuff when he does the shopping and doesn't think twice about it. Also, my mum would NEVER mention it to anyone in her circle of friends, even if she were feeling unwell.

By contrast, I am totally honest about it with my friends and even with close male friends would just say something like I was having a cycle-related bad day or something and they would understand. I was honest about it with my boyfriends before I got married, and they were very understanding about it and usually offered to get me some wine or something to make me feel better. Like you, Elaine, I don't see what the big deal is really. 

I appreciate that not everyone feels like this and so I think I would be less likely to say anything in a group of people I didn't know well. Also, if you say this sort of thing at work, the problem is that you may look "unproductive" to your boss, which may be why people don't say too much about it there. 

It's an interesting topic.

EDIT: The taboo part may stem from the fact that it was considered religiously unclean in lots of religions. My mother is Roman Catholic and after she had me, she had to wait in the house for a month after the birth and not go out to shops and things until the priest came to bless her and she was "purified" after the birth. Sex itself is considered taboo and there are lots of religious taboos surrounding menstruation, most of which suggest that sex during any part of menstruation is a major taboo itself.


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## j0ckser

coppergirl said:
			
		

> The taboo part may stem from the fact that it was considered religiously unclean in lots of religions. My mother is Roman Catholic and after she had me, she had to wait in the house for a month after the birth and not go out to shops and things until the priest came to bless her and she was "purified" after the birth. Sex itself is considered taboo and there are lots of religious taboos surrounding menstruation, most of which suggest that sex during any part of menstruation is a major taboo itself.


I suspect that coppergirl has hit the nail on the head. Remember that most (if not all) religions are patriarchal, and long before science and medical research established how the body worked, especially the female body, the functionality was left to superstition, guesswork, etc.


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## lablady

Here is an interesting link on old menstrual taboos. I had heard some of these before, but others I found surprising.

I personally enjoy some of the euphemisms. It's amazing the great lengths some people will go to as they try to talk about it without actually talking about it. The first time someone told me about their "visit from Aunt Flo" I actually thought the young lady was really visited by one of her parents' sisters. I had to chuckle when I realized the error of my assumption. Sometimes I am so naive...


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## TimeHP

In ancient times women were considered unclean during menstruation and in the Middle Ages they couldn't go to church and take communion. The taboo was attached to pregnancy as well.
The Old Testament (Leviticus) says clearly we are unclean when blood flow from our bodies!!

Ciao


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## maxiogee

My mother too had to absent herself from Church after the birth of her children until the priest came and "churched" her. I say "churched" as that was the term colloquially used, but I've no idea what the priest might have called it, or what he thought he was doing.
This was in a religion where married couples were expected to be highly fertile, and yet when the woman was successfully delivered of a baby she was too unclean to attend church!
Is it any wonder I left them to their rituals and rites, incense and incantations?


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## coppergirl

maxiogee said:
			
		

> My mother too had to absent herself from Church after the birth of her children until the priest came and "churched" her. I say "churched" as that was the term colloquially used, but I've no idea what the priest might have called it, or what he thought he was doing.
> This was in a religion where married couples were expected to be highly fertile, and yet when the woman was successfully delivered of a baby she was too unclean to attend church!
> Is it any wonder I left them to their rituals and rites, incense and incantations?


Yes, Maxiogee! That is what it was called---being "churched". She wasn't even allowed to go to the supermarket or anything. Mum ended up in Alabama when I was born, as my dad was with the air force and they had to move round a lot then. The priest in our very ethnic part of NY State used to call it being "churched" (heavy Irish, Polish, German and Italian population there) but when she got down to Alabama, the priest said that they called it the "Blessing of Mothers" or something a bit more politically correct for that part of the country.

Another thing I was thinking is that we are viewing this whole issue of "time of the month" from a modern viewpoint. I mean, nowadays women are warned about TSS (toxic shock syndrome) and we have bleach and bathroom cleaners and all that sort of thing in the house to make sure we are all germ-free. But a couple of thousand years ago, all it would have taken was for some lady to die of TSS in some place in the desert due to different conditions and suddenly people would have assumed it was from her period (which it would have been, in a way) and a whole ton of religous taboos about uncleanliness may have sprung up around it because of illnesses such as that. Similarly, anyone with painful periods due to endometriosis or other conditions would have been pretty much in pain and would possibly have looked ill. In those times, no one would have been able to work out that it wasn't contagious to others or, alternatively, they would definitely have known it was only at the time of the woman's period and so may have thought it made her "sick" in some way.

On a religious note, my husband works with an orthodox Jewish man who apparently refuses to shake anyone's hand at a meeting. In fact, people are told ahead of time not to extend theirs for fear of embarssing him when he then refuses to shake it. I asked about this and my husband said that he was told (rightly or wrongly) that orthodox Jews are not allowed to touch a menstruating woman, and that some interpret this to mean even a handshake. Thus, since one cannot tell which women have their periods and which don't, this man refused to shake any woman's hand ever and, so as not to seem sexist, also refused to shake the men's hands so that it didn't look as though he had something against women.

Does anyone know if this is true for all orthodox Jews? Or is this only this man's interpretation of the rule? Does the rule still exist?


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## You little ripper!

> The taboo part may stem from the fact that it was considered religiously unclean in lots of religions.





			
				TimeHP said:
			
		

> In ancient times women were considered unclean during menstruation and in the Middle Ages they couldn't go to church and take communion. The taboo was attached to pregnancy as well.
> The Old Testament (Leviticus) says clearly we are unclean when blood flow from our bodies!!
> 
> Ciao


I agree with Time and coppergirl that it is religion that is one of the main causes of this particular hangup (and hangups about sex in general).

This is what Leviticus chapter 15 (I presume the Bible in not copyright  ) verses 19 - 24 says:

_When a woman has a discharge and her discharge is blood from her body, she is to be in her menstruation seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean until evening. Anything she lies on during her menstruation will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. __Anyone who touches her bed must wash his clothes, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. Anyone who touches any furniture she sits on must wash his clothes, bathe in water, and be unclean until evening. If there is something on the bed or on the furniture she sits on, when he touches it he will be unclean until evening, __and if a man actually has sexual intercourse with her so that her menstrual impurity touches him, then he will be unclean seven days and any bed he lies on will be unclean.........._


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## Saoul

I totally agree with those who affirm that religion has a huge part, but still, I don't really think this is the only issue, here, since not only Catholics, Jews, Mormons, Protestants and so on, have "menstruation taboo". This is so widespread, and common that I think there might be something else we need to think about. 
Why isn't menstruating just as normal as growing nails, hairs, dripping noses, and whatever our bodies grow, lose, change along the way?


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## Residente Calle 13

Saoul said:
			
		

> I totally agree with those who affirm that religion has a huge part, but still, I don't really think this is the only issue, here, since not only Catholics, Jews, Mormons, Protestants and so on, have "menstruation taboo". This is so widespread, and common that I think there might be something else we need to think about.
> Why isn't menstruating just as normal as growing nails, hairs, dripping noses, and whatever our bodies grow, lose, change along the way?



I too think that there is "something else" we need to think about. Bleeding is generally associated with something very bad happening, with good reason, but from the perspective of a pre-scientific person, it might of been regarded with something that was "supernatural" if women always came out of it unscathed.

We must remember that in prehistoric societies, it might have been rare. Take a look at this article which says:

Dogon women [the Dogon are a tribe in Mali] between the ages of 20 and 34 have aonly about four periods in two years, on average, because they are usually either pregnant or nursing...

http://www.umich.edu/news/index.html?Releases/1996/Nov96/chr110796c

So it might have been believed, by some societies, that women who were having their period where in some sort of altered state.

It's taboo in the Abrahamic religions because it was even before the time of Abraham. I think that's why you will find such taboos in many cultures. It's something that comes, I think, from pre-history.


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## Residente Calle 13

This is sort of what I was getting at:

*Another aspect of the menstrual cycle  that relates to prehistory involves men's interpretation of menstruation.   Men, remember, are hunters.  These hunters live with other humans  (women) who bleed for about five days a month and yet don't die!   

*
Source


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## emma1968

> My mother told me that when she was a little child, some people thought that if a menstruating girl/woman touched a baby, then the baby wouldn't grow up (the same would happen if she touched a plant). A menstruating girl couldn't have a shower -or she would die. She couldn't prepare mayonnaise -or it would get rotten... And I could go on and on for hours.


I never thought that such a belief existed in an other part of the world as well.
I did believe that that was circumscribed only at the part of the world where I live.
I still remember my mother saying me: "please whether you have your period don't touch the plants , you'll make them die"


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## emma1968

> . Also, if you say this sort of thing at work, the problem is that you may look "unproductive" to your boss, which may be why people don't say too much about it there.


You are definitely right!!
I tell this by having experienced it, not on my own ( fortunately I never had problems with my period) but in my previous job one of my co-worker each month had malaise with her period and my boss always said " better choose men!!!!!"


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## victoria luz

coppergirl said:
			
		

> My mother is Roman Catholic and after she had me, she had to wait in the house for a month after the birth and not go out to shops and things until the priest came to bless her and she was "purified" after the birth.


 
Living in the Roman Catholic country par excellence, brought up in a pretty traditionalist religious milieu, it never fails to amaze me how many "catholic" rites and beliefs are virtually unknown here. Not forgotten or left behind, just unheard of.

I can't recall ever hearing of "churching" women after birth-giving. Even blessing of the "puerpera" is not performed -and, to my notion, it has never been, unless especially required by the family itself. 

Even in books, I've never come across references to a condition of impurity caused by pregnancy and birth-giving. So, I wonder: might religion have followed the same paths language do, so that as Latin turned into a certain something else, due to the existing local substratum and to the peculiar history and culture of a particular area, in the same way religions, ie Catholicism, incorporated traditions, beliefs and features proper of each particular area.

PS Not intended as an apology of Catholicism or anything. I'm aware these are big issues and there are so many factors to be accounted for, such as recent history, urban vs non-urban environment, etc etc etc. Just curious.


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## Fernando

Anything related with sex and excreting things is taboo in almost every culture. I do not see why menstruating should be different.

I mean: is it socially correct talking about pissing, defecating or pain in the balls?


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## victoria luz

Fernando,

At least it's ok mentioning them. As a matter of fact, mentioning each of the above said things even out of context. So true that they all generated a number of idiomatic uses in most of our languages, Italian and Spanish being probably at the lead about that .

The only language I know of that openly mentions periods out of context (the way we use the words for bodily wastes and manly jewels) is Arabic.

I was taught that one of the ugliest insults (so ugly that the friend who translated it for me was very ill at ease when he had to explain it) sounded somewhat close to "your mamma is bleeding"!  
(Please, correct me if I had it wrong, Arabic speaking fellow foreros.)


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## Residente Calle 13

Fernando said:
			
		

> I mean: is it socially correct talking about pissing, defecating or pain in the balls?


In some cultures more than others and in some cultures "I have to pee" is okay while "I have to change my tampon" is not cool. I think that's what we are trying to look at here.

In my very vulgar and rustic family, the women say things like "me estoy me meando" or  "me estoy cagando" (lit. I am pissing on myself, I am shitting on myself) when they have to go to the  bathroom. I have never heard them mention their menstrual cramps or bleeding. Only my sister, the youngest of the women, talks about her cramps.

Argentines say things like "Why are you busting my balls?" [¿Por qué me hinchás las pelotas?"] (sorry for the poor imitation, Ches) but I doubt they have a menstrual equivalent to this metaphor.

In short, yeah. I think it might be different.


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## Residente Calle 13

In Jamaican Patois:

*pussyclot*, *bumboclot*, and *bloodclot *are some of the most insulting things you can possibly say to a person.


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## victoria luz

Residente Calle 13 said:
			
		

> In Jamaican Patois:
> 
> *pussyclot*, *bumboclot*, and *bloodclot *are some of the most insulting things you can possibly say to a person.


 
Wow! Interesting indeed. One never learns enough.
Thank you


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## coppergirl

victoria luz said:
			
		

> Living in the Roman Catholic country par excellence, brought up in a pretty traditionalist religious milieu, it never fails to amaze me how many "catholic" rites and beliefs are virtually unknown here. Not forgotten or left behind, just unheard of.
> 
> I can't recall ever hearing of "churching" women after birth-giving. Even blessing of the "puerpera" is not performed -and, to my notion, it has never been, unless especially required by the family itself.
> 
> Even in books, I've never come across references to a condition of impurity caused by pregnancy and birth-giving. So, I wonder: might religion have followed the same paths language do, so that as Latin turned into a certain something else, due to the existing local substratum and to the peculiar history and culture of a particular area, in the same way religions, ie Catholicism, incorporated traditions, beliefs and features proper of each particular area.
> 
> PS Not intended as an apology of Catholicism or anything. I'm aware these are big issues and there are so many factors to be accounted for, such as recent history, urban vs non-urban environment, etc etc etc. Just curious.


Hi Victoria!

Actually, I have often wondered about what you have said about the history and culture of a particular area having a strong influence on the way religion is practiced there. This "churching" custom is a good example. In fact, in my hometown, a lot of customs existed far later than they did in their original European countries, with people feeling that these traditions were their only link with the past. As a result, they practiced them even more faithfully, whilst "back home" in Europe, many of these died out or were practiced differently. This may account for some of the differences with regards to views on menstruation, impurity, the practice of religion etc.


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## Bienvenidos

Here's an interesting culture note from an interesting culture: 

In Afghanistan, politeness is key, and respect for elders, and others, is also key. Thus, any talk about such "natural phenomenoa" is strictly prohibited, and if one were to mention this process (outside of a normal conversation i.e. between sisters), that person would be seen as very rude. It's actually clever the name that they have for the "period". The Farsi word is *'bínumozí" *. This literally means without (bí) praying (nomoz), meaning that on this day, women are in much pain/discomfort, so they don't have to pray/ it's difficult for them to pray.

Interesting, isn't it!?

*Bien*


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## coconutpalm

Bienvenidos said:
			
		

> This literally means without (bí) praying (nomoz), meaning that on this day, women are in much pain/discomfort, so they don't have to pray/ it's difficult for them to pray.


Are you sure that the women don't pray is because they are uncomfortable, but not they are prohibited from it(people may think they are dirty in the period?)I mean no offence, just a question.
In china, girls feel free to tell the other girls that "I'm in the period". But many norther girls(maybe not women?) still find it embarassing to tell their boyfriend that they don't feel very well due to , um, *that* problem.


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## ElaineG

Fernando said:
			
		

> Anything related with sex and excreting things is taboo in almost every culture. I do not see why menstruating should be different.
> 
> I mean: is it socially correct talking about pissing, defecating or pain in the balls?


 
If I had 10 bucks for every time I heard a man refer to the quality or quantity of his pee (especially after he's been drinking), I would not be typing this right now, but lying on a beach outside my villa somewhere.

I've never come back from the bathroom in a bar and said to my companions, "Man!  That was a good tampax change!  I really needed that!"


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## Fernando

I've never come back from the bathroom in a bar and said to my companions, "Man (woman?)! My trousers were oppressing my balls! I feel free again!".


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## geve

Fernando said:
			
		

> Anything related with sex and excreting things is taboo in almost every culture. I do not see why menstruating should be different.
> 
> I mean: is it socially correct talking about pissing, defecating or pain in the balls?


I know a few who do, too... I have a male friend whose defecating habits I know everything about (not that I asked, really). My female boss has already shared with us some aspects of her sex life in the 80's. I even heard the guy in the next door office talk about masturbation over the phone! (ok, he is not a very refined guy, generally speaking) 
Of course not everyone likes to share this kind of details with anyone; but nowadays it's not really a taboo...

At first I found the topic of this thread funny, but now I think it's quite intriguing. Indeed people can share many aspects related to "plumbing" (more or less easily depending on their personality); but menstruation seems a lot less common... I remember talking about it more openly during adolescence when you're discovering the thing and it's not very familiar yet. 
Could this be because it's just something women should know how to deal with, and there's no need to talk about it?

I can think of something related to plumbing and not likely to be easily mentioned by a man: that he has hemorroids...


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## luis masci

geve said:
			
		

> At first I found the topic of this thread funny, but now I think it's quite intriguing. Indeed people can share many aspects related to "plumbing" (more or less easily depending on their personality); but menstruation seems a lot less common...


That is probably so, due menstruation is only a women matter. If men could menstruate too everybody could hear all details about.


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## Markus

luis masci said:
			
		

> That is probably so, due menstruation is only a women matter. If men could menstruate too everybody could hear all details about.



Exactly! I certainly know far more men than women who talk about their pee/poop.


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## Chaska Ñawi

Given the men of my acquaintance, if men could menstruate:


they would find a way to integrate power tools into their hygenic care
they would brag about flow rate and consistency
sports broadcasters would be speculating on whether the goalie who let one in was menstruating
boxes of tampons would appear in hardware stores instead of drugstores
clothing manufacturers would start printing manly menstrual slogans on boxers and t-shirts 
men would stand around bragging about the size of tampon they had to use
blogs would flourish comparing different brands of hygiene products, and
the word "denier" would become standard lingo among outdoorsy menstruating men

Or is this a topic for another thread, Elaine?  Feel free....


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## cuchuflete

Chasquita --

Hilarious!!

Now all we need is the PC crew to reform the word, because you have already let flow with



> if _men_ could _men_struate:



How about, if women could feminstruate:  ??

This avoids the unfortunate and atavistic references to males and men in  fe_male_struate and Wo_man_struate.


PS- Please add to your list...When things are not working as expected, the male will cross his arms across his chest, stroke his chin with one hand, and declare, authoritatively, "Vapor lock!"
​


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## geve

Of course!! This is obvious. It's not a men thing. How could I not see that. <now where's that "feeling totally dumb" smiley? I don't think that this one is enough:>  

Chaska, I think you have found a gold mine here!  We should launch a range of Tshirts. Why not start right away with something like "Too bad it's that time of the month for Barça's goal" (targetting Arsenal fans) or "Arsenal supporters can't figure which way to use a tampon" (for Barcelone's afficionados)... There would be a large target here in Paris today!


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## Residente Calle 13

I felt completely comfortable when the jokes were about menstruation but I think that the jokes about football (soccer) crossed the line. Sorry Geve, you shouldn't joke about something so serious like Arsenal v Barcelona! 

But the Chaska and Geve jokes reveal something, I think, that's central to this whole debate and that is so obvious that I tended to overlook. Menstruation happens to women only! 

So thanks for the thought provoking laughs!


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## geve

Residente Calle 13 said:
			
		

> I felt completely comfortable when the jokes were about menstruation but I think that the jokes about football (soccer) crossed the line. Sorry Geve, you shouldn't joke about something so serious like Arsenal v Barcelona!


I know... That was very wrong.  Please accept my sincere apologies for being such a tactless stupid joker.  But I can't really be blamed you know: I am menstruating.


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## cuchuflete

Residente Calle 13 said:
			
		

> something that's central to this whole debate and that is so obvious that I tended to overlook. Menstruation happens to women only!


Tell that to the partner of a menstruating woman.  Some might argue that a woman's menstruation "happens to" all people in close proximity.


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## geve

cuchuflete said:
			
		

> Tell that to the partner of a menstruating woman. Some might argue that a woman's menstruation "happens to" all people in close proximity.


(Would I dare venture another tactless joke here? Yes, I would. I can't help it)

...just like some might argue that football/soccer "happens to" all people in close proximity of a football/soccer fan  

Ok, Ok, I'm out of here.


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## Bilma

cuchuflete said:


> Tell that to the partner of a menstruating woman. Some might argue that a woman's menstruation "happens to" all people in close proximity.


 

Sure they suffer because then they "can't" have sex .


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## Etcetera

In Russia, women prefer not to speak about their "periods". A Russian woman would rather say that she's got a headache or something like that. 
At the same time, there's a lot of adverts on the TV and in magazines. 
In blogs, I sometimes see girls and women asking questions on that issue - such questions are always marked "girsl only" and some posters even create a separate "group" for such questions. 

As for me, I, too, feel uneasy about speaking about my "periods" openly. I consider it to be too "personal". Well, I don't like to speak about my health, my family, and so on - for me, it's all too personal.


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## Mei

Hi Elaine,



ElaineG said:


> Generally speaking, I'm fascinated by the fact that this phenomenon, which happens once a month _to virtually every woman in the world for 35-40 years_ is still considered such a taboo in polite company.  For example, no woman (that I know) would dream of saying at work, "I'm going home a little early today, I just got my period."  Instead, she'll say, "I'm sorry.  I have an upset stomach! I'm going to leave early."  Why?  Is it really better to be sickly than to have your period?



I think that it's because we have the period every month and we can't say that everytime that it bothers us or can we? Not all the women have the same symptoms, just a thought.



> In mixed company, a female friend will lean over and whisper in your ear, "do you have a tampax?", even if all the men in the room have been living with female partners for decades and know all about tampax (and have probably even been sent to buy them).


The last summer I spend a few days in a friend's summer house and one of those days we did a party. He brought some friends that I didn't know. When I had to go to bathroom to pee  I noticed that there wasn't toilet paper so I had to look for my friend (who was with the rest of people) and I asked him at his hear where could I find some... after that he said so loudly something like "Oh! So, you need some toiled paper, ok, I'll give it to you, er... and please don't poo so much because I have to go to pee", as you can imagine everybody heard that and I was sooooo ... I can't imagine what would happen if he would heard me asking for a tampon...

Friends... if you love them, you forgive them. 

Cheers

Mei


----------



## xarruc

Some debate has been put towards historical reasons for coyness regarding this topic. In 2006 we all know about it, both how and why. Some of the posts have touched on these, but here are my thoughts. I don’t necessarily agree that it should be so, but that’s what I perceive:
 
(Although interestingly men are still not taught the details – my school was busy telling the boys about wet dreams and pubic hair whilst the girls were taught exactly what would happen to them. The first tampon ever I saw was washed up on a beach and I thought it was a dead mouse, until my Father told me…It would be many years until I actually saw, or touched a new one.)
 
 
I think that because of the nature of menstruation, blood, clots, etc. It is considered a bit ‘gross’, in general, to discuss the details in any graphic form, just as you wouldn’t say; come and have a look at my foot ulcer, or look, that boil on my hand is pussing again.
 
Women can discuss it easier with other women because women know many things that men, in general, don’t know, even after years of marriage: and so details can go unsaid yet still understood..
 
With men there is the additional complication that the menstruation occurs from the sexual organs and so there is a conflict between something enticing and something, rather off-putting. (I’m not saying that women having periods is off-putting, rather that the graphic details are). Hence a desire from both men and women to keep the two separate. “I’m on my period” – fine. “I have blood coming out of my…” - not ok.
 
I don’t know how lesbians feel about it. I assume that its just a non issue. Just as me weeing out of my .. isn’t an issue for me!
 
Secondly. We all know that some women are affected hormonally to some extent at that time of the month, and that and the discomfort can perhaps change a women’s temper. I think there is a stigma related to being on your period that says you will not be your best, or that you need to be treated preferentially/discriminatorily. That could cause problems in the workplace – or in social contexts – or even legally - and so is best avoided by all.
 
Thirdly. As, by and large, sexual relations are abstained from during that time of the month. There is an intimacy “property” related to it. As a lot of the dynamic between men and women can be based on sexuality, desire, attractiveness, etc. The admission of menstruation may be perceived to break that dynamic, particularly with the stigma of being dirty, inherited from a previous time as discussed in the other posts.


----------



## .   1

*Mod note:*

*This was a new thread. I merged it to the previous one as they discuss the same topic.*


G'day Cultur@s,
I am left wondedring about the effect of the supression of discussion relating to menstruation?
My mother nearly died of fright when she started to bleed because she had no warning and no one to talk with. Her mother was too embarrassed and her father too ignorant.
My daughter called me for help when she first started to 'bleed', it's not blood at all and won't congeal which is part of the superstitious ignorance associated with a natural and very normal function of being female.

My mother was scared witless and my daughter laughed.

Which is a better system?

.,,


----------



## la reine victoria

. said:


> G'day Cultur@s,
> I am left wondedring about the effect of the supression of discussion relating to menstruation?
> My mother nearly died of fright when she started to bleed because she had no warning and no one to talk with. Her mother was too embarrassed and her father too ignorant.
> My daughter called me for help when she first started to 'bleed', it's not blood at all and won't congeal which is part of the superstitious ignorance associated with a natural and very normal function of being female.
> 
> My mother was scared witless and my daughter laughed.
> 
> Which is a better system?
> 
> .,,


 
I was overjoyed when my periods started.  My mother had explained it to me about a year before it happened, and equipped me with the necessary sanitary protection.  She even demonstrated how a tampon absorbed liquid, by suspending one in a glass of water.  "You may find these more comfortable and hygienic once you have got used to having periods," she said.  She stressed that menstruation was a perfectly normal thing and shouldn't prevent me from missing out on normal activities.

You are wrong in thinking that menstruation isn't "bleeding".  It most cetainly is, and this includes pieces of the uterine lining breaking away and descending as "bits" resembling blood clots.

My mother, born in 1901, had been prepared for this by my grandma.

It is the duty of all parents to prepare their daughters for this turning point in their lives.  If they can't bring themselves to talk about it then they should give them one of the many books available.

There are many single fathers raising daughters in the UK and they seem to manage.  No girl child should be left ignorant of the fact that she will one day start to "bleed".  How scary to be left in ignorance.

I had two sons and it was left up to me to explain bodily changes, "wet dreams" and that masturbation wasn't wrong.  My husband's Roman Catholic up-bringing made it very difficult for him to discuss such things.

There shouldn't be any taboo attached to such normal bodily functions.

LRV


----------



## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> You are wrong in thinking that menstruation isn't "bleeding". It most cetainly is, and this includes pieces of the uterine lining breaking away and descending as "bits" resembling blood clots.


I will take that under advisement.
My understanding of the process is that there is virtually no blood and that the discharge is necrotic uterine lining tissue mixed with mucus and other neutral bodily fluids and that this is why menstrual 'blood' does not clot or rapidly go brown as blood does when exposed to oxygen and the haemoglobin of the red blood cells 'rusts'.

.,,


----------



## la reine victoria

. said:


> I will take that under advisement.
> My understanding of the process is that there is virtually no blood and that the discharge is necrotic uterine lining tissue mixed with mucus and other neutral bodily fluids and that this is why menstrual 'blood' does not clot or rapidly go brown as blood does when exposed to oxygen and the haemoglobin of the red blood cells 'rusts'.
> 
> .,,


 
Without going into graphic detail, I can assure you that blood is lost from the body. Many women who have very heavy periods become anaemic and have to take iron supplements.

On second thoughts, since I have no hang-ups in talking about this subject, I have experienced a sudden rush of warm fluid and found my underwear and outer clothing covered in bright-red blood.

I don't understand your preoccupation with this topic. It is very personal to women. You said in a different thread that you had often seen your wife changing her tampons. I would never have subjected my husband to such a sight - he would have considered it highly unfeminine behaviour. In fact, no man (or anyone else) in my life would ever have witnessed such an event.

LRV


----------



## Dawei

la reine victoria said:


> I would never have subjected my husband to such a sight - he would have considered it highly unfeminine behaviour.


In case he never said it, thanks ...and I will answer the question in the subject line with a resounding yes. I don't know if it is normal to feel as strongly as I do about it, but I even cringe sometimes at the mention of the word.

Fortunately I think most women do feel it is a private issue, and most will even be offended at the mention of the word by a male, especially one they do not know (I once lost a job when I asked a particularly irate customer if she would like her box of tampons left out of her grocery bag.)


----------



## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> There shouldn't be any taboo attached to such normal bodily functions.


 


la reine victoria said:


> I don't understand your preoccupation with this topic. It is very personal to women. You said in a different thread that you had often seen your wife changing her tampons. I would never have subjected my husband to such a sight - he would have considered it highly unfeminine behaviour. In fact, no man (or anyone else) in my life would ever have witnessed such an event.


You would never have subjected your husband to such behaviour of a normal bodily function that there shouldn't be any taboo attached to. My head spins.

My wife and I share our lives and I am ashamed of nothing that we do.

I have no preoccupation with the subject. I am seeking clarity. The issue was raised by a woman in such a manner as to not allow me to seek clarification while remaining on topic. I don't like folderolling other threads and prefer to clear the air openly.

Your distaste for the topic is such that you have now posted a couple of quite descriptive contributions.

I detect a hint of exasperation from you to me because I asked this question. That is odd. You initially answered that it should be a no big deal.
You included wet dreams and masturbation which have nothing to do with menstruation. 

If a man should not discuss menstruation should a woman discuss wet dreams?

This is so weird.
On another thread I asked a perfectly open question that rolled along quite well discussing magic tricks and nudity and a woman introduced menstruation to my complete surprise.

I tried to respond but my submit button seemed faulty so I started a new thread to discuss menstruation and cop an atitude that I shouldn't be discussing menstruation (presumably because it is a girl thing) and now a woman begins to discuss wet dreams which are most definitely boy things.
Strange logic in this joint sometimes when questions are too close to the bone.

.,,


----------



## panjabigator

I believe my mother somewhat mentioned it to me (I am a male, if clarification is needed), but not really too much.  My sister on the other hand has explained it pretty thoroughly and so I am immune to the conversation.  I could talk about it over a meal of tomato soup in detail and not cringe even slightly...I just don't see it that disgusting.  I view it as a "so what...woman bleed monthly."  It's definitely something that should be more widely understood.  I wish my mother and father had somewhat told me about the changes my sister had gone through, and additionally, the mood changes that can be associated with it.  It is essential to understand.


----------



## .   1

panjabigator said:


> It is essential to understand.


Thank you.

.,,


----------



## KateNicole

Where I live it's definitely _not _taboo and children (both boys and girls) are taught about it starting at the age of nine.  A lot of times they laugh uncontrollably during their classes, but in adult society where I live, it's neither taboo and secretive nor overly-discussed.  I'm a teacher and my students (middle school) are not embarrassed to ask me for "supplies" or for permission to go to the school office and get some, although they ask me in private.  

If I'm on my way to the bathroom while at work, I certainly won't swing the tampon or sanitary pad around for the world to the see, but if one were to fall out of my purse in front of other people, for example, I would just quickly pick it up and perhaps laugh a little bit, but certainly not be overly embarrassed.

I'm not embarrassed to discuss menstruation with my boyfriend. 

In mixed company, menstruation isn't exactly a conversation topic, but then again neither is urinating or defecating . . .


----------



## danielfranco

I sit here and meditate whether or not this specific taboo has to do with personal preferences or if it is part of the cultural background of each person. I mean, what does it say about me, if I have no problem discussing it? Does it mean I'm more liberal? More educated? More improper? More obscene? More or less what? I don't know. I think the degree in which menstruation might be a taboo for a person probably has to do mostly with personal taste and what each of us thinks it's appropriate in his own context. But, perhaps in a society that is more religious, or more conservative, or more rural, or more traditionalist it would be more difficult to speak openly and without reserve about the menses.
I don't know...


----------



## Kajjo

I think menstruation is as private as e.g. urination or defecation. There should be no barrier to talk about such things with your partner or close friends or to discuss these aspects in an educated member. However, those are usually no themes of small talk.

Naturally, children have to be taught openly and straight-forward about these matters. In modern times it should never happen that a girl has her first menstruation and does not know about the biological and hygienic context. The same applies to contraception and general sexual education.

_One question from me to add to this thread: Do the male foreros always knew where in the menstruation cycle their partner is momentarily? E.g. on which day roughly to expect the next menstruation? Or are you just being told?
_
Kajjo


----------



## Don Borinqueno

Kajjo said:


> _One question from me to add to this thread: Do the male foreros always knew where in the menstruation cycle their partner is momentarily? E.g. on which day roughly to expect the next menstruation? Or are you just being told?_
> 
> Kajjo


 
*We just have to find out as time goes by. Uff i wish we could predict the rough days. jeje*


----------



## Kajjo

Don Borinqueno said:


> *We just have to find out as time goes by. Uff i wish we could predict the rough days. jeje*


You are right, this might be highly dependent on the individual female involved. As far as my personal experience in concerned the "rough days", as you put it, are quite regular and easy to predict. I am always aware of the cycle position and regard this as quite important to adapt to my partner.

Kajjo


----------



## Sallyb36

Referring to the point that was made about there not being much blood, it always amazes me that a woman can lose so much blood every month and not die!  It's not a taboo subject as far as I'm concerned - if I'm ratty people (men friends, brother, boyfriend) will say - oh, that time of the month again eh? Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't.


----------



## mirx

One of my firends told me she had her first period when she was 9, her mother had never said something before, so one morning she woke up all covered in blood, and of course she panicked to death. Her mother then, with all the patience in the world sat down next to her and explained what had just happened. She also said that she was going to talk to her but she never expected her daughter to have her first period at such a tender age. She said "girls these days, are way advanced for their age..."

In México sexual education is taught in school from a very early age, when kids are 11, 12 years old, they pretty much know everything there is to know about one's body, The classes include videos so they see what copulation is like. Menstruation and Masturbation are thoroughly discussed. At the beginning the kids will laugh and giggle and blush at times, but then they realize that is an actual class and that there will be an exam about it, so they take it seriously too.

Since teachers do most of the teaching regarding sexual matters, parents don't have much to worry about.

My mom seems very uptight about it, but that's just the way she was brought up, my sister is much more liberal, so are my friends, most of them don't seem to mind to say that they are "menstrauating". Some even excuse themselves saying "Leave me alone I'm in my days".

I do not think it is a taboo. But I also think that just like Daniel Franco said, it has more to do with personal beliefs and behaviours then with a culture's one.

Cheers.


----------



## Chaska Ñawi

Here are some previous discussions on the topic:  

this one started by Elaine ; and this one from the Italian English forum; and this one.

We discuss it quite openly in my immediate family, and female colleagues are comfortable discussing it with each other.  With unrelated men, we discuss menstruation more in the abstract, which means that we don't inform the man beside us that we have cramps that could kill an elephant as we excuse ourselves.

Here it is considered rude in all circles to discuss day-to-day hygiene in excruciating detail, the only exception being explaining things to our daughters.


----------



## Philippa

. said:


> ...Which is a better system?





mirx said:


> One of my firends told me she had her first period when she was 9, her mother had never said something before, so one morning she woke up all covered in blood, and of course she panicked to death...


Of course it's better that society is open enough about it so that girls aren't unprepared and worried. The charity the Samaritans started partly because of a girl who committed suicide when she started her periods and thought she was ill. (Do other countries have this same charity or a similar one for people to phone if they are distressed?)


> He [a vicar called Chad Varah who started the charity] makes reference to one example of a girl aged 14, whom he had buried - in unconsecrated ground. She had started her periods, but having no one to talk to believed that she had a sexually transmitted disease and took her own life. source


Saludos
Philippa


----------



## la reine victoria

. said:


> You would never have subjected your husband to such behaviour of a normal bodily function that there shouldn't be any taboo attached to. My head spins.
> 
> My wife and I share our lives and I am ashamed of nothing that we do.
> 
> I have no preoccupation with the subject. I am seeking clarity. The issue was raised by a woman in such a manner as to not allow me to seek clarification while remaining on topic. I don't like folderolling other threads and prefer to clear the air openly.
> 
> Your distaste for the topic is such that you have now posted a couple of quite descriptive contributions.
> 
> I detect a hint of exasperation from you to me because I asked this question. That is odd. You initially answered that it should be a no big deal.
> You included wet dreams and masturbation which have nothing to do with menstruation.
> 
> If a man should not discuss menstruation should a woman discuss wet dreams?
> 
> This is so weird.
> On another thread I asked a perfectly open question that rolled along quite well discussing magic tricks and nudity and a woman introduced menstruation to my complete surprise.
> 
> I tried to respond but my submit button seemed faulty so I started a new thread to discuss menstruation and cop an atitude that I shouldn't be discussing menstruation (presumably because it is a girl thing) and now a woman begins to discuss wet dreams which are most definitely boy things.
> Strange logic in this joint sometimes when questions are too close to the bone.
> 
> .,,


 
You totally misunderstand me.

To clarify what I have said so far, *menstruation is not a taboo subject for* *discussion.* If it were I would never have been told about it.

What is taboo, from my point of view, is permitting *anyone *to witness the sight of me changing a tampon, *especially* my husband. 

I have heard accounts of some women going "slightly mad" at the time of menstruation, and deliberately showing their blood-soaked sanitary protection to their partners. A male friend of mine ended his relationship with his partner when she started leaving used sanitary pads stuffed behind the water pipe leading from the cistern to the lavatory, or leaving them on the bathroom floor or on the bed. I once worked in an all-female office. One of the girls told us that she always allowed her boyfriend to change her tampons for her. We were all disgusted by this.

I'm no prude when it comes to sexual matters and enjoy sex in *every *way, but I do think that menstruation is something very private; not to be shared.

I have no distaste for the topic. My descriptive contributions were to challenge your point that women don't actually lose blood, when they most certainly do. Why not ask your wife? Or look on the internet?

As for introducing the topics of "wet dreams" and "masturbation" - I did this because I had sons. No daughters to discuss menstruation with.

I agree this is man-talk, but my husband's reluctance to discuss it with our sons left the responsibility to me. I stressed that masturbation should be reserved for the privacy of their bedrooms.

In the same way, *menstruation is a very private matter*, not to be shared with anyone except in conversation. Have you ever heard of *feminine mystique and modesty*?

LRV


----------



## maxiogee

panjabigator said:


> It is essential to understand.


 
Indeed, but it doesn't mean that it needs to be discussed once understanding has been achieved, does it?

I understand the workings of the internal combustion engine, but I don't discuss it over the breakfast or dinner table just because a motorcar is mentioned 
I also understand the Proportional Representation voting system used in Ireland, but I don't feel the need to expound on it at length when I talk politics with friends - I know they know how it works also.

These things are not taboo, but that doesn't mean people ought to speak of them, or should, or must, at any particular time, or even an unparticular time.


----------



## jonquiliser

I don't think there should be silence around this topic, and that some (men) are disgusted by it is, in my view, very annoying (and telling). But I also understand if women don't want to talk about it in any situation (and neither do I want to myself). I don't really mind changing tampons around people I am intimate with, but I don't do it around strangers. It is not out of consideration for any possible "disgust" for it at their part; it is just the same as with not shitting (or to a lesser extent peeing) around strangers, I simply don't feel comfortable.

Attitudes to and ideas around menstruation throughout history are fantastically interesting; for example how women in some periods have been medicalised and patologised, seen as 'hysterical' or unreliable (this both as individuals, and for example in medical research) with reference to their menstruating bodies.


----------



## xrayspex

_If I'm on my way to the bathroom while at work, I certainly won't swing the tampon or sanitary pad around for the world to the see, but if one were to fall out of my purse in front of other people, for example, I would just quickly pick it up and perhaps laugh a little bit, but certainly not be overly embarrassed._ 

Nor should you be, although I've known a lot of women who would probably go into meltdown from embarassment if that happened, the first Mrs. Spex being one example.   Men over the age of 15 or so pretty much understand the concept, although younger men who have never lived with women find it sort of titilating, just because it's mysterious.  And here's something women may or may not be aware of: men ALWAYS assume a woman who takes her purse to the restroom is having her period, so it's not like you're keeping a secret by hiding the supplies in your bag. (Just the opposite, actually.) 

For the ubiquitous record, I was a single father with four teenage daughters.   Not much mystery in any of that stuff as far as I was concerned.


----------



## Kajjo

xrayspex said:


> men ALWAYS assume a woman who takes her purse to the restroom is having her period, so it's not like you're keeping a secret by hiding the supplies in your bag.


Right. Men's imagination is better than women anticipate, probably.

Kajjo


----------



## panjabigator

I just realized that I am an exception (probably) for the Indian community.  I think it is taboo back in the mother land; their are certain temples and religious rites that women are not allowed in/to participate in during menses.  I don't agree.


----------



## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> You totally misunderstand me.


I am very pleased to hear this, I will be less confused.



la reine victoria said:


> To clarify what I have said so far, *menstruation is not a taboo subject for* *discussion.* If it were I would never have been told about it.


I totally agree.



la reine victoria said:


> What is taboo, from my point of view, is permitting *anyone *to witness the sight of me changing a tampon, *especially* my husband.


Fine. Horses for courses. 



la reine victoria said:


> I have heard accounts of some women going "slightly mad" at the time of menstruation, and deliberately showing their blood-soaked sanitary protection to their partners. A male friend of mine ended his relationship with his partner when she started leaving used sanitary pads stuffed behind the water pipe leading from the cistern to the lavatory, or leaving them on the bathroom floor or on the bed. I once worked in an all-female office. One of the girls told us that she always allowed her boyfriend to change her tampons for her. We were all disgusted by this.


Again. Horses for courses. Were you disgusted by what they did or the fact that she told you?



la reine victoria said:


> I'm no prude when it comes to sexual matters and enjoy sex in *every *way, but I do think that menstruation is something very private; not to be shared.


What does menstruation have to do with matters sexual?



la reine victoria said:


> I have no distaste for the topic. My descriptive contributions were to challenge your point that women don't actually lose blood, when they most certainly do. Why not ask your wife? Or look on the internet?


*http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/articles/article/sarahurquhartcolumn1.htm/*

*WHAT IS THE COMPOSITION OF MENSTRUAL FLUID ?*
Although it closely resembles blood, menstrual fluid actually comprises a mixture of tissues and secretions from inside the uterus including water and mucus from the uterine glands, blood from capillaries feeding the endometrium, and the glandular tissue of the endometrium itself. Most women menstruate for 2 to 7 days, lose between 20 and 80 millilitres of blood, and report the heaviest bleeding at the beginning. Once the period is over, the endometrium begins to replenish itself from a layer of stem cells in the wall of the uterus.


20 to 80 millilitres is not much actual blood to lose each month. I can do better than that with a nose bleed. It is not the blood loss that causes only some women to become anaemic. There are complex hormonal factors involved that inhibit the uptake of iron by some women.
Were the iron deficiency to be linked solely to the between 1 and 4 tablespoons of blood lost then just about every menstruating woman would be anaemic but some are red and flushed and a few pale and wan.
We are all different.



la reine victoria said:


> As for introducing the topics of "wet dreams" and "masturbation" - I did this because I had sons. No daughters to discuss menstruation with.


That is not really germaine to the discussion. This is difficult to fathom. I was discussing menstruation and you joined in. I could imagine that you would have a lifetime of experience to share but you veered wildly off to male masturbation and male wet dreams.
What does menstruation have to do with masturbation and wet dreams?



la reine victoria said:


> I agree this is man-talk, but my husband's reluctance to discuss it with our sons left the responsibility to me. I stressed that masturbation should be reserved for the privacy of their bedrooms.


I am sorry for your husband's loss. He doesn't know what he missed.



la reine victoria said:


> In the same way, *menstruation is a very private matter*, not to be shared with anyone except in conversation. Have you ever heard of *feminine mystique and modesty*?


This is completely and utterly your opinion and you are totally free to hold it but it is not a general attitude.
What does feminine mystique have to do with menstruation?  Menstruation should not be a matter for tittilation
You have given a couple of extremely graphic discriptions of your aquaintances personal behaviour in relation to this subject which fly in the face of your proposition.

We will just have to agree to disagree on this tiny matter.
It would be boring if I agreed with everything you say.
I would learn nothing from you if you just batted my ideas back with platitudes and agreed with me.
You most certainly supply fascinating grist for the WRmill.

.,,


----------



## Poetic Device

There is only one pweson that I am comfortable talking to about Aunt Flo and that is my best friend.  Everyone else that tries to talk to me about it sees my face grow bright red and has to talk to the hand.


----------



## .   1

I was just trying to remember that old nom de plume.

I realise that my daughter wouldn't have a clue about Aunt Flo or The Curse or Women's Business. To her it is just a period. No big deal.

.,,


----------



## Poetic Device

> To clarify what I have said so far, *menstruation is not a taboo subject for* *discussion.* If it were I would never have been told about it.


 
I agree with this.  The way that I know it's taboo is because when I...became of age... I asked my mother what it was and she told me to go read a pamphlet...  Thanks, Ma!!!


----------



## .   1

Poetic Device said:


> I agree with this. The way that I know it's taboo is because when I...became of age... I asked my mother what it was and she told me to go read a pamphlet... Thanks, Ma!!!


I like my system better.

.,,


----------



## topaze

_In the same way, *menstruation is a very private matter*, not to be shared with anyone except in conversation._ 
I agree-

That reminds to  me a scene in a famous  tv serie :"Sex & the City",when Miranda ,the first morning after a loving night with her new boy friend ,heard him with horror defecating and urinating noises ,all bathroom doors open..
Also,yes nothing taboo ,but we all need intimacy,women ,as well as men too.


----------



## mirx

topaze said:


> _In the same way, *menstruation is a very private matter*, not to be shared with anyone except in conversation._
> I agree-
> 
> That reminds to me a scene in a famous tv serie :"Sex & the City",when Miranda ,the first morning after a loving night with her new boy friend ,heard him with horror defecating and urinating noises ,all bathroom doors open..
> Also,yes nothing taboo ,but we all need intimacy,women ,as well as men too.


 
I agree with you, La Reine Victoria and Maxiogee, is not that is taboo, is just -as I see it- a not very pleasent theme of conversation.

It is very normal that women in my school get cramps in their period and when asked if they want to join in any activity that requires physical strength they would very naturally answer "No, I have menstrual cramps, and don't really feel like running or XYZ". 

But why to abound in such topics? I really see no need, is not that we get scared of it, but I too think that those things are rather personal matters.


----------



## la reine victoria

> .,,
> What does menstruation have to do with matters sexual?


 
A great deal.  Some women are happy to have intercourse while they are menstruating.  Others will avoid it like the plague.

LRV


----------



## maxiogee

. said:


> What does menstruation have to do with matters sexual?




Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh - pregnancy? d'uh!


----------



## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> A great deal. Some women are happy to have intercourse while they are menstruating. Others will avoid it like the plague.


By your own definition menstruation is asexual.  It sometimes stops sexual activity for a short time but menstruation is not a sexual matter in and of itself.
For many people menstruation is a total and utter sexual turn off.  End of story!
I guess that for a small minority it is a turn on although I can't imagine why.  You said that you know a woman who had her boyfriend insert the tampon.  I think that a little unnecessary but I am not them and they didn't hurt me when they did that and they were both consenting adults so more power to them.

I will guess that for the vast majority of people menstruation is about as sexual as a headache with nausea and abdominal cramps and hormonal swings that terrify great big hairy shearers.



maxiogee said:


> Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh - pregnancy? d'uh!


Errrrr - context? d'uh!

.,,


----------



## jonquiliser

Hmmm - I think sometimes there is a tendency to reduce female sexuality to menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth and similar bodily processes. So when young girls receive "sexual information", they are told they'll have their period, that it may hurt, that they can use tampons or pads, that it means the beginning of fertility and that they might get pregnant etc. Boys get the info about wet dreams and masturbation. Isn't anyone else seeing something slightly strange with this?


----------



## .   1

jonquiliser said:


> Hmmm - I think sometimes there is a tendency to reduce female sexuality to menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth and similar bodily processes. So when young girls receive "sexual information", they are told they'll have their period, that it may hurt, that they can use tampons or pads, that it means the beginning of fertility and that they might get pregnant etc. Boys get the info about wet dreams and masturbation. Isn't anyone else seeing something slightly strange with this?


Yup.

.,,
Sex is all in the mind


----------



## la reine victoria

. said:


> Yup.
> 
> .,,
> Sex is all in the mind


 
Sex is all in the mind? What has this to do with the thread topic?

LRV


----------



## Kajjo

jonquiliser said:


> Hmmm - I think sometimes there is a tendency to reduce female sexuality to menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth and similar bodily processes. So when young girls receive "sexual information", they are told they'll have their period, that it may hurt, that they can use tampons or pads, that it means the beginning of fertility and that they might get pregnant etc. Boys get the info about wet dreams and masturbation. Isn't anyone else seeing something slightly strange with this?


No, what do you think is strange about it? Certainly, most boys do get information about menstruation and possible pregnancy, too. In puberty, the bodily processes are important. Would you prefer to start with discussing orgasms and sexual positions?

Kajjo


----------



## cuchuflete

*Is the discussion of menstruation a taboo for you?



*No.


----------



## jonquiliser

Kajjo said:


> No, what do you think is strange about it? Certainly, most boys do get information about menstruation and possible pregnancy, too. In puberty, the bodily processes are important. Would you prefer to start with discussing orgasms and sexual positions?
> 
> Kajjo



My point was this: menstruation, together with some other phenomena, are not _sexual_. But they often are the main topics of so-called sexual education and flowers-and-bees talk for girls. I am sure they are told about female menstruation, but in sexual education, and in parents informing them about sexuality, it seems they are actually told something about sexual pleasure, not merely reproductive mechanisms. 

What I think would be good sexual education is another topic - but I do not think menstruation belongs in sexual education, rather, it's health education.


----------



## Kajjo

jonquiliser said:


> My point was this: menstruation, together with some other phenomena, are not _sexual_. But they often are the main topics of so-called sexual education and flowers-and-bees talk for girls. I am sure they are told about female menstruation, but in sexual education, and in parents informing them about sexuality, it seems they are actually told something about sexual pleasure, not merely reproductive mechanisms.
> 
> What I think would be good sexual education is another topic - but I do not think menstruation belongs in sexual education, rather, it's health education.


Well, I think we just call all information in context of puberty and bodily changes "sexual education of children". Many children have their physiological puberty before they are mentally interested in sex. Having pleasure by masturbation should never be taught as being bad, but as normal and healthy, but it is an issue that most teenagers understand by themselves pretty good. Really dramatic changes are menstruation and possible pregnancy and to focus on that is actually quite important. I see all bodily changes that occur with puberty and that are connected to fertility and propagation as sexually relevant.

Kajjo


----------



## JazzByChas

I certainly have no problems with the discussion of menstruation...I have known the facts of (female) life since I was a young teenager.

Now, I would not want to embarass or offend anyone whose sensibilities are more sensitive than mine, and would refrain in those instances.

Otherwise, menstruation is just a natural part of female life, as checkups for prostrate cancer are for males.


----------



## .   1

la reine victoria said:


> Sex is all in the mind? What has this to do with the thread topic?


I agree. I have been saying all along that sex has no place in this thread because sex has nothing to do with menstruation and menstruation has nothing to do with sex.
The tiny thin little dead white cotton tampon has utterly no penile associations.
I realise that this may be difficult to accept from a symbologic point of view when pens and guns and petrol pump nozzles and swords and Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles are all afforded overtones of sexual potency but such things have the potency to at least pretend to grant access to sex.
A tampon is an utter bar to intercourse. 

.,,


----------



## geve

JazzByChas said:


> Otherwise, menstruation is just a natural part of female life, as checkups for prostrate cancer are for males.


This is not on the same level. Check-ups for prostate cancer could be compared to check-ups for breast cancer, but menstruation is something different - menstruation is not a medical condition. And I certainly hope you don't have your prostate checked every time your partner removes a tampon! 

I see that since the topic was first launched, about a year ago, it has evolved to the way young females (and males) are told about it. 
I think menstruation has both practical implications (how to deal with it) and symbolic ones, and in this sense it has something to do with sexuality indeed. Menstruation means a girl is a woman, is capable of mothering, has her sexual attributes flourishing and will be reminded for a good part of her life that she is indeed a female - in case she could ever forget.

About witnessing the insertion of tampons... I am rather prudish myself (I'm not sure "prudish" translates correctly "pudique"  ). I remember when I was about 14 and we shared a bedroom and bathroom with another girl my age during a week. She told me that I could and should walk in while she was in her bath or dressing or on the toilet, and so I did against my natural tendencies. One day I walked in the bathroom while she was in it and she said "Please! I am putting a tampon!!" - as if _that_ was going one step too far.


----------



## Sepia

maxiogee said:


> My mother too had to absent herself from Church after the birth of her children until the priest came and "churched" her. I say "churched" as that was the term colloquially used, but I've no idea what the priest might have called it, or what he thought he was doing.
> This was in a religion where married couples were expected to be highly fertile, and yet when the woman was successfully delivered of a baby she was too unclean to attend church!
> Is it any wonder I left them to their rituals and rites, incense and incantations?


 
Many strange things that are considered Christian never really emerged out of Christianity. Do you know anything further about this phenomena? Do you have any idea how the Celtic cultures viewed this?


----------



## Etcetera

maxiogee said:


> This was in a religion where married couples were expected to be highly fertile, and yet when the woman was successfully delivered of a baby she was too unclean to attend church!


I heard that a woman shouldn't enter a church if she's having her "days", because she's "unclean" at this time. I've always ignored this rule - I don't go to church regularly, so if I feel that I want to go to church, I go there.


----------



## Blehh.

Etcetera said:


> I heard that a woman shouldn't enter a church if she's having her "days", because she's "unclean" at this time. I've always ignored this rule - I don't go to church regularly, so if I feel that I want to go to church, I go there.



It is the same in Hinduism, and I agree with you. A woman on her period isn't 'dirty' or 'bad,' she is a woman on her period. She should be free to visit any place she wants whenever she pleases.


----------



## .   1

Blehh. said:


> It is the same in Hinduism, and I agree with you. A woman on her period isn't 'dirty' or 'bad,' she is a woman on her period. She should be free to visit any place she wants whenever she pleases.


Exactly.
There is nothing mysterious about menstrution.
There is nothing unclean about menstruation.
There is nothing offensive about menstruation.

There is nothing wrong with menstruation.

.,,


----------



## maxiogee

Sepia said:


> Many strange things that are considered Christian never really emerged out of Christianity. Do you know anything further about this phenomena?


See this wikipedia piece - it might lead you into further places with more details.




> Do you have any idea how the Celtic cultures viewed this?


The same way that any church practices and teachings were viewed — with acquiescence and unquestioning obedience. It wasn't just a 'Celtic culture' thing, it was quite widespread, to the best of my knowledge.


----------



## JazzByChas

LOL!

Yes, of course it was a bad analogy, although natural occurence in us older males... ...but males...be they boys or men don't quite have something analogous to menstruation...so I was trying to think of something 'uniquely male', and that was the best I could come up with..I suppose I could compare menstruation with...hmmm..

::: scratching his head :::

perhaps, having your eyes glaze over because you have just seen a female your are very attracted to...(this happens once a month for young men, doesn't it?) 

Well...anyway menstruation is indeed a physical and not a medical phenomenon, and were I a female, maybe due to propriety I might be embarassed to see the insertion of tampons, but discussing it would not be "taboo."



			
				La Phantomette said:
			
		

> This is not on the same level. Check-ups for prostate cancer could be compared to check-ups for breast cancer, but menstruation is something different - menstruation is not a medical condition. And I certainly hope you don't have your prostate checked every time your partner removes a tampon!


 
N.B I think the word you were trying for would be "modest"...not necesarily prudish...a prude sort of implies an overbearing sense of propriety, whereas modesty simply means you use discretion.


----------



## Tu2Bene

In Spanish one of the colloquilisms is "to be a little sick" or "estar malita"
When I was younger we used to say in English "my friend is visiting"


----------



## SaritaSarang

ElaineG said:


> Forgive me if this is upsetting to anyone, but I'm interested in knowing about the cultural taboos surrounding menstruation in our various countries, and particularly, if there's any country in the world where women are comfortable discussing this fact of life.
> 
> This thread was inspired by a discussion of the various euphemisms in the Italian-English forum, where it was noted that people come up with all kinds of circumlocutions rather than simply say "I'm menstruating."
> 
> Generally speaking, I'm fascinated by the fact that this phenomenon, which happens once a month _to virtually every woman in the world for 35-40 years_ is still considered such a taboo in polite company.  For example, no woman (that I know) would dream of saying at work, "I'm going home a little early today, I just got my period."  Instead, she'll say, "I'm sorry.  I have an upset stomach! I'm going to leave early."  Why?  Is it really better to be sickly than to have your period?
> 
> In mixed company, a female friend will lean over and whisper in your ear, "do you have a tampax?", even if all the men in the room have been living with female partners for decades and know all about tampax (and have probably even been sent to buy them).
> 
> I'm not saying this shyness is _necessarily_ wrong.  I feel squeamish about it too -- even feel odd making this post.   But I'm curious if people have insight into why it's so taboo -- is it a hangover of ancient beliefs???



It's not a taboo for me personally, (maybe because I have one!)
but I know a lot of people who would be bothered in discussing or even hearing about it.  Some people seem to get embarrassed, which I have never understood. After all, It's a natural thing. They become " grossed out", I suppose because it makes them think of blood and the vagina and all that....  But among close girl friends I've never had trouble talking about "that time of month", it seems to be more uncomfortable around people you don't know as well.  so I guess its like a personal thing.. 
Around guys, they either get 
a) grossed out and say something( example - ookay TMI!)   
b) shocked and embarrased 
c) uncomfortable and walk away at the mention of a period.  

At my lunch table we have had a few guys that sit with us ( like 10 girls) and some of them just listen in fascination and even ask questions. ( the guy from Guatemala asked, "you get these things every month??" ) 

But overall, my experience has been that people are really grossed out by the thought of a period.  (Where i'm at anyways)


----------



## Judica

It embarasses the guys for some odd reason ... but it did nothing for most of my friends (females). We used to purposely talk about it at work so we could watch the guys run.

The guys got used to it though. Once I heard two male supervisors talking. One asked the other what was wrong with a certain female, the reply was maybe she is PMSing today. The one who asked said she didn't look 'bloated' to him. Too funny


----------



## Poetic Device

. said:


> There is nothing unclean about menstruation.
> 
> 
> .,,


 

He he he...  Easy for you to say...  You don't get it!


----------



## CrazyArcher

Poetic Device said:


> He he he...  Easy for you to say...  You don't get it!


He was probably refering ironically to the moral side of it...

Personally I have no problems with the subject, but I'd prefer not to discuss it in depth, or hear others doing it... Why should I?


----------



## .   1

Poetic Device said:


> He he he... Easy for you to say... You don't get it!


Yeah mate, I cop it second hand every month or so.
I know that it's icky but it is not dirty.

It's a good thing that women have periods because blokes are such sooks about nausea and stuff that it would probably kill us.

.,,


----------



## .   1

CrazyArcher said:


> Personally I have no problems with the subject, but I'd prefer not to discuss it in depth, or hear others doing it... Why should I?


Yet here you are hearing some unfathomable depths. 

.,,


----------



## alexacohen

Tu2Bene said:


> In Spanish one of the colloquilisms is "to be a little sick" or "estar malita"
> When I was younger we used to say in English "my friend is visiting"


I've never heard it in Spain... Just curious, Mexican Spanish? Argentinian?

Menstruation has never been a taboo for me personally, or my sisters, or my friends, male or female. 
Having said so, I don't know what's the point in telling my boss (for instance) that I must rush to the loo because I have to change my sanitary towel or whatever, for the same reason that I would not tell him I must rush to the loo because I'm having an attack of diarrhea. I do have a bit of common sense even when I'm menstruating. 
Alexa


----------



## .   1

alexacohen said:


> I do have a bit of common sense even when I'm menstruating.


That is too good and deserves an off topic post just to see it printed again.

I cringe when I hear the 'sick' bleat.  They are not sick or contageous or something.  They are not feeble just specifically incapacated because of menstruation.  No big deal and no mystery.

.,,


----------



## geve

. said:


> It's a good thing that women have periods because blokes are such sooks about nausea and stuff that it would probably kill us.


...the chicken or the egg...


----------



## .   1

geve said:


> ...the chicken or the egg...


I am far too chicken to carry an egg and as far as laying it.  Forgeditaboutit!  If blokes menstruated and had babies there would be far more research money spent on more comfortable alternatives rather than ejaculating huge erections to The Moon or Mars.

Women should tell blokes all about it.  It has only been in the past few years that comfortable pads and tampons are readily available and this followed hot on the heels of advertising and discussing menstruation.

.,,


----------



## KaRiNe_Fr

> [...] If blokes menstruated and had babies [...]


Are those two "capacities" that related? If you can't have babies without menstruation, you can menstruate and not have babies. As many of us women do...  Is it a kind of "useless" menstruation? 
Maybe for most men those two things are very tied, hence related to sexuality hence taboo? (just asking myself...)


----------



## .   1

My point is that these two things are two of the most difficult things that women have to deal with (other than men) and that men are too sooky to endure those things.

I know that this is evolutionarily redundant because I didn't grow up with menstruation and the expectation of potential pregnancy but both look so bloody unpleasant I reckon that most men I have met have evolved to be too soft to be able to handle either.

As usual I am as clear as mud but I know what I am trying to mumble makes kind of sense to me.

.,,


----------



## jlc246

Makes sense to me too! (Maybe I shouldn't say that. It could be tactless to speak humorously about a group of which I am not a part -- that is, men.) Anyway, thank you for the implied compliment to women. Believe me, I appreciate some of what men put up with even if I don't experience it first hand.

In my opinion, menstruation, sexuality, pregnancy, and birth are all at least somewhat related biologically (for example, through hormones, structure, etc.). However, they may be more or less closely tied to each other in an individual's life/experience. English and (I would guess) other languages include many words and phrases that express or imply different degrees of how related things are, so we could easily disagree about some expressions. For example, the question that came up about whether menstruation "is sexual" can be interpreted various ways based on language, experience, and biology, so it can have many answers.

On a lighter note, one of my favorite stories of the use of language to avoid discussing menstruation and sexuality comes from a friend. When such subjects came up among the adults, her father used to say to her, "... but you're too young to know about that." It seemed to her that overnight this changed to, " ... but you're old enough, you know all about that." (Fortunately, I think her mother had more of a sense of when to provide explanations!)


----------



## Lusitania

When I was little it used to be a taboo. My grandmothers would say "are you like that?" or "do you have IT?" and it never concerned my grandfathers as it was considered a women "thing".
With my parents I never felt it as a taboo, or my brother or even with my friends and colleagues. We joke about. 
"I'm at that time of the month" equals "I might bite you" 

But I don't see why we should go around talking about it to everybody, it's nor particulary interesting stuff to talk about.


----------



## cuchuflete

> *Women civil servants in India have expressed shock at new appraisal rules which require them to reveal details of their menstrual cycles.*  Under the new nationwide requirements, female officials also have to say when they last sought maternity leave.
> Women civil servants say the questions are a gross invasion of privacy. One told the BBC she was "gobsmacked".


 11 April BBC report:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6545115.stm


----------



## Etcetera

cuchuflete said:


> 11 April BBC report:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6545115.stm


It's equally shocking to me - and I, too, would feel such questions as an invasion of my privacy. There are things my boss just doesn't need to know, including this one.


----------



## alexacohen

I'm not sure this story is true. Because I read and attachment in another thread, taken from the same source and I know with a 100 % certainty that it was not accurate. 
Alexa


----------



## cuchuflete

Here are about 40 more reports of the same thing, true or not:

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=&ie=UTF-8&ncl=1115263239&filter=0


----------



## .   1

It sounds dodgy to me. In such a caste bound society this would be too socially confronting for both the men and the women.
I will take this one under advisement.

.,,


----------



## alexacohen

cuchuflete said:


> Here are about 40 more reports of the same thing, true or not:


 
I have not had time to read all the 40 and something reports; just several. But the article I referred to before is this one:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6189936.stm

And, though the core of the incident was true, the interpretation, the conclusions, the words taken out of context, and many other things were not. (It has nothing to do with this thread, so I'll not discuss what was wrong). 
News are sometimes like legends. A small incident takes place, and grows bigger and bigger with the telling.
Many companies in Spain ask their workers to go through health tests. We've been filling health forms for years. They include menstruation (if your period is regular, painful, and the like). The forms are not submitted to the company, they are medical records, and therefore a secret between doctor and patient. If the doctors find something wrong with you, they recommend an specialist or give you medication or whatever is needed. The company paids for all checks and all medication. Of course a check on a woman's health must include menstruation. I would find it very strange if it didn't.
Alexa


----------



## geve

I agree with Alexa. 
And 40 papers don't mean much, when they all copy-pasted the same press dispatches from Reuters or AFP. Compare the wording of these different links. ​


cuchuflete said:


> Here are about 40 more reports of the same thing, true or not:
> 
> http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=&ie=UTF-8&ncl=1115263239&filter=0


----------



## JazzByChas

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by this...

1) Are men "chicken" (fearful) because they are incapable of producing eggs and therefore incapable of deserving the respect of those who do produce them, or 

2) since they are generated from a (female) egg, they should therefore should have some empathy with and understanding of the female plight....?  

I think that in the public marketplace, as long as the recording of menstrual information is kept private between patient and doctor, there is not a problem.  However, if said information is made available to the company in which that woman works, they have crossed the "violation of private information" boundary



			
				geve said:
			
		

> the chicken or the egg...
> 
> 
> 
> . said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's a good thing that women have periods because blokes are such sooks about nausea and stuff that it would probably kill us.
Click to expand...


----------



## .   1

JazzByChas said:


> I'm not sure I understand what you mean by this...
> 
> 1) Are men "chicken" (fearful) because they are incapable of producing eggs and therefore incapable of deserving the respect of those who do produce them, or
> 
> 2) since they are generated from a (female) egg, they should therefore should have some empathy with and understanding of the female plight....?


It was nothing more than an observational joke.
Some women are constantly banging on about how they are the tougher gender because they have to endure menstruation and childbirth.
I find the concept of a baby coming out of an opening not much bigger than my anus to be a terrifying scenario and would ensure that I was celebate if that was the price to pay for intercourse so our species would die out if other men held the same view.
I have heard hundreds of variations of this observation.
The only thing that some blokes would like is a pair of their own breasts but I have never met a bloke who craved menstruation or childbirth.

Some blokes are quite content to discuss menstruation as an esoteric topic but none wish first hand experience.

.,,


----------



## Poetic Device

. said:


> Yeah mate, I cop it second hand every month or so.
> I know that it's icky but it is not dirty.
> 
> It's a good thing that women have periods because blokes are such sooks about nausea and stuff that it would probably kill us.
> 
> .,,


 

LOL  True, true...  Still, It's kinda nasty...


----------



## Poetic Device

. said:


> I am far too chicken to carry an egg and as far as laying it. Forgeditaboutit! If blokes menstruated and had babies there would be far more research money spent on more comfortable alternatives rather than ejaculating huge erections to The Moon or Mars.
> 
> Women should tell blokes all about it. It has only been in the past few years that comfortable pads and tampons are readily available and this followed hot on the heels of advertising and discussing menstruation.
> 
> .,,


 
Tell you about it?!  Honey, you don't want to know.  Let's step aside from the actual bleeding for a moment.  How about the cramps, bloating, unwanted things happening down there...  And let's not forget about the damn cists.  That is why women go through "PMS".  There really is no such thing, we just bitch more during that time hoping that if we do this enough the menfolk will find a cure for it.


----------



## .   1

Poetic Device said:


> That is why women go through "PMS". There really is no such thing, we just bitch more during that time hoping that if we do this enough the menfolk will find a cure for it.


In all seriousness, that would be the killer.
The raging hormonal swings would bend my mind further than it is already bent.
Actually it would probably be the nausea.  I was once nauseus for about half an hour and it was pure hell.  I couldn't believe it.  My wife actually laughed at the time and I was really confronted and just couldn't see the funny side at the time.

Women deal with the nausea and mood swings better than blokes would.
Physical pain really is no big deal and can be dealt with relatively simply with a few mental tricks but nausea is a killer.

.,,

.,,


----------



## la reine victoria

> *.,,*
> It has only been in the past few years that *comfortable pads and tampons* are readily available and this followed hot on the heels of advertising and discussing menstruation.


 
I was perfectly happy and comfortable with my sanitary protection over 50 years ago! Menstruation was discussed at school in "personal hygiene" classes, amongst friends, and at home amongst the female members of my family.

LRV


----------



## geve

JazzByChas said:


> I'm not sure I understand what you mean by this...


.,, said that men would not be able to endure menstruation because they can't handle pain as well as women.
I am thinking that maybe women can endure pain better than men precisely because they have menstruation. 
Which is the cause, which is the consequence? It's a chicken and egg question.


----------



## xrayspex

_Women civil servants in India have expressed shock at new appraisal rules which require them to reveal details of their menstrual cycles. Under the new nationwide requirements, female officials also have to say when they last sought maternity leave. 
_ 

I had a friend who had a unique perspective on questions:  if they're asking, it means they don't know.  His response was to reflexively lie.  (Weird guy, on the whole, but I found this philosophy amusing.) 

My response would be: "I've never had a period.  My children are adopted.  Any other questions?"


----------



## cuchuflete

Since yesterday, things may be changing:

                                      India re-assesses menstrual forms                  
*The Indian government says it will review new appraisal forms requiring female civil servants to reveal details of their menstrual cycles. *  The ministry of personnel says it has written to the health ministry following complaints from staff that the form was grossly insensitive.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6547909.stm


----------



## Venezuelan_sweetie

> Is the discussion of menstruation a taboo for you?


You can say that, yes. In a way, at least.

I don't feel comfortable discussing physiological stuff, and that in my book includes urination, defecation, ejaculation, menstruation, salivation, partially digested food, and any sort of human fluids and discharges you may be able to think about. It's not that I _*can't*_ talk about such absolutelly normal and natural aspecs of life, but rather that I consider it quite a gross and impolite topic (it's not the menstruating process that I consider gross/unclean/any other word _*someone*_ would like to put on my mouth --, but talking about it in my presence is, get it?)

*Yes*, I've had my period regularly for quite a long time now -and still do, actually. *Yes*, I've discussed those matters in public before -extensively, I have to say-, mostly in an educative environment (I used to be an Advisor/Counselor regarding sexuality, alcoholism and drug abuse at a local high school, long ago). *Yes*, I've shared a house with other women who also menstruated, and of course, eventually one of us would ask another: "do you have a tampax/hyg. pad?", but that was about it. I wouldn't like any woman around me go specific about her 'bleeding', the number of tampaxes she'd need, etcetera. Maybe it's just that I'm too visual (my friend's vagina, all sore and slightly stinky, with blood and other fluids coming out of it? Not a nice visual image, don't you think?) 

*No*, I don't consider myself prudish. *No*, I don't think it's healthy not to talk about those issues with children (both, male and female). *Yes*, I've discussed them with every child in my family -except perhaps my baby boy, who's only 4. He's now at the "wash your hands after using the toilet" phase, I don't want to confuse him. 

Oh, and before someone starts a new thread titled "WTF is the link between menstruation, defecation and ejaculation?!?", let me say I don't see any possible link, except the fact that those are all kind of icky topics that deal with human fluids. Menstruation is definitely, not something I'd like to be constantly discussing with anyone, not even my husband.

I rest my case.


----------



## liv3000

Just to give an account of the way you can say it without name i..
In Italy we use "è arrivato il marchese/Vincenzo" the marchiones or Vincent has arrived...

"sono in quei giorni" I'm in those days..

"sono indisposta" I'm ailing, which is the one that has officially replace the word mestruazioni! 

I usually say it without problems if I'm talking with a friend, also a male one, whereas I wouldn't feel comfortable to say it in front of a group of people , where the conversation is usually not very intimate..


----------



## .   1

liv3000 said:


> Just to give an account of the way you can say it without name i..
> In Italy we use "è arrivato il marchese/Vincenzo" the marchiones or Vincent has arrived...


Who is Vincenzo?



liv3000 said:


> "sono indisposta" I'm ailing, which is the one that has officially replace the word mestruazioni!


What do you mean by 'officially'?

.,,


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## KaRiNe_Fr

liv3000 said:


> [...] "sono indisposta" I'm ailing, which is the one that has officially replace the word mestruazioni! [...]


"Je suis indisposée" was the typical excuse to not going on sport class when I was young*er* too... 
(this exemplifies the taboo between pupils and teachers about menstruation in France. And there are many many phrases to say menstruation in French without the words "règles"/"menstruation")


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## liv3000

. said:


> Who is Vincenzo?
> 
> What do you mean by 'officially'?
> 
> .,,



Vincenzo is just a name given (don't know why and whether is used in all Italy, rather not)

Instead of "ho le mestruazioni" or " ho il ciclo" you would usually say "sono indisposta" which could be confused and disguise with "sono un po' indisposta" which is extended to whathever sickness..


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## liv3000

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> "Je suis indisposée" was the typical excuse to not going on sport class when I was young*er* too...



Nice to hear that in France you use the same expression!


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## Lusitania

There are also some beliefs that a woman during her menstruation she shouldn't bake cakes as they wont turnout well. Also when I was small it was said that women shouldn't go to the beach or take bath or walk barefoot as if would affect their brains and they could go nuts or be handicaped in some way. Some women in their 70's 80's yo still say it's true and tell stories about women who got sick and died because they didn't took these "precautions".


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## tvdxer

It seems quite common these days for university-aged girls to discuss their periods, even in my presence.  This can be a bit gross (though not shocking), especially when I'm eating.


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## ColdomadeusX

My friends and I don't really care all that much. Even between students and teachers at my school it's not like we can't talk about it.

e.g. a girl suddenly get her period just before her event in the swimming carnival. she goes up to a male teacher, explains herself and that she doesn't like tampons and that's that.

Even with males everyone I know is pretty open about it.
But hey, I'm Aussie and young so what the hell...


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