# How Should Emotions Be Expressed?



## boriicua_mamii

I have been thinking about this question for quite some time now, so please answer this honestly:

*Are emotions better expressed verbally or physically?*

At first, I thought it would be verbally, but then I thought of the importance of expressing them physically . After joining this forum, I thought that I might just take a crack at it and ask it here .

So...  what do you think?


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## Vikorr

Approximately 60-80 % of communication is expressed through body language.

Emotion is always expressed physically, and often (thought not always) expressed verbally.

When expressed verbally - tone, pitch, volume and speed (not just the words) are also involved.

Verbally, you can articulate (explain) the emotion (if you know what it is, and the cause of it).

...then there are the psychological effects of not doing either...but that's an entire line of study (except that a number people think 'bottling up your emotions' is bad for you)

This isn't really an english question.


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## boriicua_mamii

Wow... that was very helpful .

Yeah, I guess you're right about that. But to be fair, some other user asked about a childern's book... although, it was an English book... anyway, I just wanted to know what other people thought of it, so thanks for your opinion .


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## timpeac

As this question does not relate to the English language but to cultural interpretations I am moving this to the culture forum.


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## cuchuflete

> *Are emotions better expressed verbally or physically?*



Better?  What does that mean?


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## ronanpoirier

I think it doesn't matter how you express it. The important thing is if you really mean it. 
And what about giving something to someone? Is that expressing an emotion verbally or physically? (I'm talking about good feelings by the way)


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## boriicua_mamii

cuchuflete said:


> Better? What does that mean?


 
What I meant was, which way of expressing emotions do you prefer? Which are you most comfortable with?


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## janezhang88

Which one is more comfortable? Well, i think It depends on different situation, if the communication is effected by email or phone,the way you cant meet others in person, then emotion is expressed verbally better than physically.otherwise, it is opposite side.


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## cuchuflete

I am most comfortable letting emotions flow, without bothering to think about how they should be expressed.  I think it is ridiculous to interpose a rational mental process in the free expression of emotions.  I have never bothered to do an accounting of what percent of my emotional expression is verbal or physical.  I guess I'm just not sufficiently introspective or analytical about emotional expression to give it a thought.


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## boriicua_mamii

All of your opinions are very good and well-expressed. Thank you very much so far!


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## AGATHA2

boriicua_mamii said:


> I have been thinking about this question for quite some time now, so please answer this honestly:
> 
> *Are emotions better expressed verbally or physically?*
> 
> So...  what do you think?


 
You have no choice. As a human being you allways express your emotions through body language if you want or not


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## geve

cuchuflete said:


> I think it is ridiculous to interpose a rational mental process in the free expression of emotions.


Agreed. 
Easier said than done: this darn brain seems to never shut up!

That being said, I have no idea if there is an answer to this thread's question. But don't we speak about emotions so strong that they can't be put into words?


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## boriicua_mamii

AGATHA2 said:


> You have no choice. As a human being you allways express your emotions through body language if you want or not


 
woow..  i guess you're right .


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## KaRiNe_Fr

For instance, I was taught you can't really simulate a smile. If your eyes are not smiling before your mouth, this is a fake smile. This is a small example of the power of your body regarding the expression of your emotions.  (<- half true smile, see: only one eye smiling!)


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## boriicua_mamii

KaRiNe_Fr said:


> For instance, I was taught you can't really simulate a smile. If your eyes are not smiling before your mouth, this is a fake smile. This is a small example of the power of your body regarding the expression of your emotions.  (<- half true smile, see: only one eye smiling!)


 
woah  i never knew that.


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## .   1

It is extremely difficult for me to convey emotion purely verbally.  In this forum I see a great deal of emotion being expressed that I do not understand but I am sure that were I having a face to face conversation I would understand their emotions from their body language.
I can not see pursed lips or faint smiles or folded arms or crossed legs or tapping fingers of hands on faces or eyes rolling or derisive tones through the written word because I lack these far more emotionally expressive keys.
We must have been communicating for millenia before spoken language developed and even then there was a need for emotion to be exchanged where language was different.
The contraction of our pupils and the flaring of our nostrils or an intake of breath communicate so much more than words.
A gesture can be worth a thousand words.

.,,


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## boriicua_mamii

. said:


> It is extremely difficult for me to convey emotion purely verbally. In this forum I see a great deal of emotion being expressed that I do not understand but I am sure that were I having a face to face conversation I would understand their emotions from their body language.
> I can not see pursed lips or faint smiles or folded arms or crossed legs or tapping fingers of hands on faces or eyes rolling or derisive tones through the written word because I lack these far more emotionally expressive keys.
> We must have been communicating for millenia before spoken language developed and even then there was a need for emotion to be exchanged where language was different.
> The contraction of our pupils and the flaring of our nostrils or an intake of breath communicate so much more than words.
> A gesture can be worth a thousand words.
> 
> .,,


 
 ...  so beautiful


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## Trina

AGATHA2 said:


> You have no choice. As a human being you allways express your emotions through body language if you want or not


Ah, not always. There are times when people repress their emotions. There are times when it may be best not to display one's emotions (like anger, for example). Some people can become extremely skilled in hiding their emotions. And with some emotions, such as anger, hatred etc, that can be a good thing.


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## AGATHA2

Trina said:


> Ah, not always. There are times when people repress their emotions. There are times when it may be best not to display one's emotions (like anger, for example). Some people can become extremely skilled in hiding their emotions. And with some emotions, such as anger, hatred etc, that can be a good thing.


 
You can repress your emotions, of course, but you can´t  repress completely your body language. Maybe you can control for example your mimic, but you can´t control your whole body, so maybe your hands or your legs will express your authentic emotion.


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## Etcetera

Gestures are imporstant, but there shouldn't be too many of them. If a person gesticulates too much, it becomes pretty annoying. 



> You can repress your emotions, of course, but you can´t repress completely your body language. Maybe you can control for example your mimic, but you can´t control your whole body, so maybe your hands or your legs will express your authentic emotion.


I agree with you, Agatha!
If you ever seen the Star Wars Trilogy, you probably remember Darth Vader, the main villain of the saga, whose face is hidden behind a mask for most of the movie. But somehow we still can guess about his emotions! I've always been admiring the actor who played Vader in this film.


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## elpoderoso

cuchuflete said:


> I am most comfortable letting emotions flow, without bothering to think about how they should be expressed. I think it is ridiculous to interpose a rational mental process in the free expression of emotions. I have never bothered to do an accounting of what percent of my emotional expression is verbal or physical. I guess I'm just not sufficiently introspective or analytical about emotional expression to give it a thought.


 
Isn't Anger an emotion? I think it would be better if some people did try to think rationally about how they express this emotion.


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## Trina

AGATHA2 said:


> You can repress your emotions, of course, but you can´t  repress completely your body language. Maybe you can control for example your mimic, but you can´t control your whole body, so maybe your hands or your legs will express your authentic emotion.


Maybe not the majority of us but there are some people who are able to control all outward signs of emotion. I'm not saying it's a good thing or even a healthy thing. People who do have this much control over their emotions often have hangups or deep psychological problems.


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## boriicua_mamii

woah..... i love all of your responses! even if... some of them were pretty short..
ah well.


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## Genecks

boriicua_mamii said:


> I have been thinking about this question for quite some time now, so please answer this honestly:
> 
> *Are emotions better expressed verbally or physically?*
> 
> At first, I thought it would be verbally, but then I thought of the importance of expressing them physically . After joining this forum, I thought that I might just take a crack at it and ask it here .
> 
> So...  what do you think?



If it is meant to help, love, or be kind to someone, then physically and verbally.
If it is meant to destroy or criticize someone, verbally or not at all.

I can take punches to my face by a random person without giving an emotion. I don't criticize or aggress back to such people. I try to avoid such people.


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## John-Paul

You also have to take into account that we 'read' emotions. What we read does not always comply with what the emotionee tries to express. Love and lust for instance are vey easily moxed up. Hunger and anguish, anger and frustration, contempt and impatience etc. Because we're reading so well we also tend to think we're masters in broadcasting our emotions. By the way, there's this one guy who felt so bad for losing his wife, he built her a palace. Express emotion through action.


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## danielfranco

In my religion of New Stoicism we believe that emotions are a legacy of our physical evolution throughout the ages.
I personally believe that one should express emotions unimpeded by reason. Because if one takes the time to review his emotions and how best to express them, one is bound by duty to make sure his emotions are expressed sincerely in order to "live consistently with nature."
Because sometimes emotions that can be harmful to all bypass all rational processes, one ought to accept responsibility for them and not justify them with "I just can't help myself", or "that's just the way I am", but instead one should take the time to review what part of oneself draws upon such emotions and learn to redirect its expressiveness.

So, the "best" way to express emotions could be either verbally or physically, whatever comes naturally to you at the moment, but one should always strive to express emotions _constructively._


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## maxiogee

boriicua_mamii said:


> I have been thinking about this question for quite some time now, so please answer this honestly:
> 
> *Are emotions better expressed verbally or physically?*
> 
> At first, I thought it would be verbally, but then I thought of the importance of expressing them physically . After joining this forum, I thought that I might just take a crack at it and ask it here .
> 
> So...  what do you think?



The 'good' emotions are best expressed physically - sometimes even the most gifted of us have no words to express them and out physical nature can do what our heads cannot say.
The 'bad' emotions are best epressed verbally - to ensure that the other person truly understands them. Can our anger ever be truly understood if it is only 'seen' and not heard?
Then finally there are some emotions which must be expressed symbolically - through a medium such that we call it art.


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## cute angel

i think verbally first


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## curly

I think that emotions should be expressed in both ways, but the person expressing them should use one way more than the other. I find it makes the other much more special


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## Zoowärter

It´s also interesting that gestures (and the amount of gesturing while speaking) depend on culture. In southern European countries emotions are expressed differently than in northern european countries or the U.S. People tend to use their hands more in some cultures than in others and also the volume varies.


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## mytwolangs

cute angel said:


> i think verbally first


 
With some emotions perhaps, but others like real sadness - you choke when you try to speak, from the knot that develops in the throat, and then the tears come. 
Like i am about to do if I don't quit thinking about something at the moment...

But yes, words don't really convey strong emotions. Words just cannot. Not spoken, maybe written. 

Body language has no barrier.


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