# It's been a long time since we last talked.



## yuechu

大家好！

I was recently messaging a friend on QQ who I haven't talked to for a long time. I was wondering, how could I say "It's been a long time since we last talked." in Chinese? Would this be "我们好久没聊天了“ or perhaps "好久没跟你聊天（了？）！"？
Thanks!


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## SimonTsai

Both work.


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## yuechu

Thanks, SimonTsai! The 了 has to be there in both cases, right? (or is it possible to omit it?)


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## SimonTsai

It is compulsory in the first yet possibly omissible in the second.

Whether or not it is optional in the latter depends upon context.


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## philchinamusical

I'd suggest you put a "了" at the end of this kind of sentence.

Without "了" it sounds like more like a confession or accusation with "!" at the end. With "了" it sounds more like an invitation or greeting, which is more friendly.


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## retert

Maybe you can use the popular sentence：许久不见，甚是想念。


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## SimonTsai

That sounds stilted, for me, in a chat, and outmoded in spoken language, but might be justified if it were for humorous effect.


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## brofeelgood

... 至今已(经)(有)好一段时间了。

This would be somewhat closer, in terms of sentence structure, to the original expression.

E.g. 咱上回聊天至今已好一段时间了。


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## Percychen

“好久没跟你聊天（了）。” is correct but a little bit too serious in IRC chatting，it's more commonly used in face to face situation.

“好久不见”，“好久没跟你说话了”，“有阵子没联系了” are more oral during net chatting.


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## Broccolee

yuechu，你说的那些就已经很正确，自然了。


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## TheKingOfSpain

SimonTsai said:


> It is compulsory in the first yet possibly omissible in the second.
> 
> Whether or not it is optional in the latter depends upon context.


Can someone explain to me why the 了 is required here? What function does it serve?


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## Broccolee

TheKingOfSpain said:


> Can someone explain to me why the 了 is required here? What function does it serve?


Do you know “have done”? Whenever a sentence is equivalent to the “have done” pattern, you have to add 了 at the end of the sentence.
For example:
我们好久没聊天了 means it’s been a long time since we last talked.
The usage of 了 is a bit more complicated than my explanation. My advice is to read more sentences and imitate them.


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## SimonTsai

了 often implies the perfect. (I am sorry, but I am not a grammarian; I may have trouble making it crystal clear.)


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## TheKingOfSpain

How does this contrast to forms with 过? In general, I have been taught not to use 没 and 了 in the same sentence. So if I were constructing the sentences in the OP, I would write them as "我们好久没（有）聊过天“ and ”好久没跟你聊过天“. Are these sentences correct?

I'm just missing the intuition for why "我们好久没（有）聊天” is wrong, what it's missing, and why adding 了 fixes it. What about if I were talking to someone else, and this person comes up in conversation, could I say ”我和他好久没聊天“ or "我们好久没聊天”? Or are those cases the same?


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## Broccolee

All your sentences are perfectly natural, except 我们好久没有聊天 and 我和他好久没聊天。 You should add 了 at the end of these two sentences.


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## SimonTsai

> In general, I have been taught not to use *没* and *了* in the same sentence.


Really? Then exceptions would be in abundance:

£ 人家就快*沒*命*了*，你打算見死不救？
£ 那 ...... 我們已經好久*沒*有那個*了*，今晚可以嗎？
£ 很抱歉：這位患者因為傷勢過重，出血過多，到醫院時已*沒了*生命跡象。
£ 那次約會，他不再穿我送他的毛衣。我們坐下，對視，靜默半晌。他提了分手，我笑著說好；我們一起看我們第一次看的電影，然後吃飯，然後道別，然後就*沒*有*了*然後。​


> How does this contrast to forms with 过?


I am unsure of your confusion, and whether it amounts to being off-topic. To express the idea concerned, how would you include 過?

*EDIT* (after post 18):

I am sorry that I didn't notice the sentences that you gave:


> I would write them as "我们好久没（有）聊过天“ and ”好久没跟你聊过天“. Are these sentences correct?


Neither of these two works.


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## Skatinginbc

Percychen said:


> 有阵子没联系了


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## TheKingOfSpain

SimonTsai said:


> Really? Then exceptions would be in abundance:
> 
> £ 人家就快*沒*命*了*，你打算見死不救？
> £ 那 ...... 我們已經好久*沒*有那個*了*，今晚可以嗎？
> £ 很抱歉：這位患者因為傷勢過重，出血過多，到醫院時已*沒了*生命跡象。
> £ 那次約會，他不再穿我送他的毛衣。我們坐下，對視，靜默半晌。他提了分手，我笑著說好；我們一起看我們第一次看的電影，然後吃飯，然後道別，然後就*沒*有*了*然後。​
> I am unsure of your confusion and whether it amounts to being off-topic. To express the idea concerned, how would you include 過?



To explain my confusion: Those sentences are slightly different, because those are all 没 negating 有, either implicitly or explicitly, so it's clearly the change of state 了. I.e. 人家没命了 => 以前有命，现在没了。没命 is a state, and 了 indicates its arrival. 到医院时已没了生命迹象 is the same ”没有生命迹象“了 (or at least that's how I'd think of it). It seems difficult to me to imagine "没有聊天” as a state, so I was confused.

However, after looking at more examples, it's clear to me that this is, like you said, a common pattern that parallels the present perfect in English. For example, “我很久没去了“. My question about 过 is in circumstances like that, what is the difference between 过 and 了. Or even both of them. “我很久没去过” vs. “我很久没去了” vs. "我很久没去过了“. What are the differences, if any, between the meanings of these sentences? The examples I give earlier in the thread indicate that I was already familiar with the usage of 过 in this circumstance. The reason I was asking is that I was trying to figure out what is different from this construction with 了.

Hope that clarifies a little bit.


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## SimonTsai

I have had post 16 edited.

我很久沒去*了*那裏，==> I went there... [1]
我很久沒去*過*那裏。==> I went there before.
我很久沒去*過*那裏。==> I have never been there.
我很久沒去那裏*了*。==> I have not visited there for a long time.

我沒有和他聊*了*天，==> I chatted with him... [2]
我沒有和他聊*過*天。==> I chatted with him before.
我沒有和他聊*過*天。==> I have never chatted with him.
我們很久沒聊天*了*。==> We have not chatted for a long time.

[1] [e.g.] and discovered by chance a huge cave where we can stay tonight.
[2] [e.g.] and found him really a nice guy.


SimonTsai said:


> 那 ...... 我們已經好久*沒*有那個*了*，今晚可以嗎？


Here 那個 refers to having sex, in particular making love; that is, 做愛 in Mandarin.

If you can imagine *沒*有做愛 as a state, then so can you imagine *沒*有聊天.


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## TheKingOfSpain

SimonTsai said:


> I have had post 16 edited.
> 
> 我很久沒去*了*那裏，==> I went there... [1]
> 我很久沒去*過*那裏。==> I went there before.
> 我很久沒去*過*那裏。==> I have never been there.
> 我很久沒去那裏*了*。==> I have not visited there for a long time.
> 
> 我沒有和他聊*了*天，==> I chatted with him... [2]
> 我沒有和他聊*過*天。==> I chatted with him before.
> 我沒有和他聊*過*天。==> I have never chatted with him.
> 我們很久沒聊天*了*。==> We have not chatted for a long time.
> 
> [1] [e.g.] and discovered by chance a huge cave where we can stay tonight.
> [2] [e.g.] and found him really a nice guy.
> 
> Here 那個 refers to having sex, in particular making love; that is, 做愛 in Mandarin.
> 
> If you can imagine *沒*有做愛 as a state, then so can you imagine *沒*有聊天.


Yes, I think this makes sense now. Thank you!

However, I'm confused about my original sentences now, since you said they don't work, and Broccolee said they did!  Oh well!


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## SimonTsai

Actually, very few Mandarin natives would be attentive to every word and phrase that you say in informal occasions. From time to time, or often, I say something ungrammatical, unnatural, or even virtually incomprehensible in Mandarin, especially when feeling nervous or exhilarated or drained or disturbed or intoxicated. I am not someone very good at speech, and am a little shy in the real world, as opposed to the cyberspace.

But I am very sure that I have never said, and would never say, '我好久沒跟你聊過天', or '我們好久沒聊過天了'.

Perhaps this is because of personal or regional difference: I find 過 there superfluous to some extent, whereas others may disagree. In certain contexts, it is agreed that 沒 ... 過 simply implies 'have not' rather than 'have never':

他從早上到現在，沒吃過任何東西，一定餓壞了。
He has not eaten anything since this morning; he must feel starving.​In the sample sentence above, 過 is used for emphatic effect.


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